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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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Sakuya's Butler said:
All three swear no hanky-panky has ever happened between Atago & Cameron, yet it'd hilarious if she ends up with a keel laid down right after 'Laska gets started on her own bit of drydock construction, which she happily will explain exactly how THAT occurred, even as Cameron goes scarlet from embarrassment. Yet.....nobody has been drinking for weeks/months prior, no hanky-panky by anyone (they even trotted out the Fairies who pulled out the ship's logs), and NONE of three can explain it. Yet....it happened.
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We here in the department of cute things produced so as to harry the author would like to remind the audience that a menage a trois is acceptable, immaculate conception is a far thornier subject. We here assure you, however, any construction work Cameron and Alaska decide to pursue with Atago will be very well documented, though.
PAGDTenno said:
Subs are ships. Especially a big(relatively speaking) fleet sub like Albie.
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WRONG. All subs are boats because subs started off as boats.
 
7734 said:
We here in the department of cute things produced so as to harry the author would like to remind the audience that a menage a trois is acceptable, immaculate conception is a far thornier subject. We here assure you, however, any construction work Cameron and Alaska decide to pursue with Atago will be very well documented, though.




WRONG. All subs are boats because subs started off as boats.
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1. Wash & Gale.

2. Atago doesn't/didn't mind, and in fact woke up feeling reeeeeeeally good & relaxed the next morning. Quite possibly due to having used 'Laska and Cameron as dual body pillows to sprawl over them the previous night....after Cameron & 'Laska (and only Cameron & 'Laska) had spent a few hours being rather naughty.

3. While 'Laska has a few pages in her log that she slapped a massive CLASSIFIED cover over and will only show to Vestal and/or a doctor (even then goes bright pink), yet she gushes about in public with other shipgirls/girls without quite giving accurate (at all) details, she has no issues with sharing the logs during the other hours just before and during when Atago joined them, only to pass out slightly snoring while sprawled over 'Laska & Cameron.

4. MSSB is whack yo.

5. 'Laska = Pixi-stik, Pistachios, Pepperoni (pizza), Dr. Pepper/Pepsi, Pickles, Philly Cheesesteaks, etc. Nobody manages to figure out the 'P' thing, just that she wants food starting with it, in combinations of 3 or more. At least she just nibbles small portions at a time.
Atago = PB&Js on whole wheat w/ mayo added, a side of tangerines, and a chocolate milkshake. All the time/constantly. They figure out the code for this one soon enough (PB&J = the trio, mayo = Maya, tangerines = Takao, chocolate milkshake = Chokai). Just not why.


Note: never ever underestimate the capacity for weirdness that is the flippity-flopping of a newly expectant mother's hormones & taste preference combinations. Those combos above are TAME compared to some things I know for a fact have been eaten during the first few weeks/months of a pregnancy. There is a Starbucks next to the local hospital that can give you horror stories at combos they were asked to make that would turn you nauseous in an instant.
 
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Trufax. Per tradition, all USN subs are boats, not ships. Ask any submariner, and they will very firmly tell you they serve on a boat.
Sakuya's Butler said:
Note: never ever underestimate the capacity for weirdness that is the flippity-flopping of a newly expectant mother's hormones & taste preference combinations. Those combos above are TAME compared to some things I know for a fact have been eaten during the first few weeks/months of a pregnancy. There is a Starbucks next to the local hospital that can give you horror stories at combos they were asked to make that would turn you nauseous in an instant.
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Caveat: The weirdness is recursive. As in, if their tastes are already weird, it can flip to 'suddenly, boringly, normal'. My dear LilithPrime, who thought nothing of creating and enjoying a sweet pickle milkshake, had her tastes flip to 'utterly vanilla' when she became preggers with Imp 1.0. She reverted to 'regular' weirdness on launching the new little bote.
 
Strypgia said:
Caveat: The weirdness is recursive. As in, if their tastes are already weird, it can flip to 'suddenly, boringly, normal'. My dear LilithPrime, who thought nothing of creating and enjoying a sweet pickle milkshake, had her tastes flip to 'utterly vanilla' when she became preggers with Imp 1.0. She reverted to 'regular' weirdness on launching the new little bote.
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I am so, so tempted to ping your wife right now for verification, because this is one of those topics that is releveant to the thread and because jmper cannot into girl biology.
 
7734 said:
You know and I know someone would insinuate Cameron is the father, and if he's going to have to go through the Admirally Stare for it I am at least going to write the fun bits for him! Besides, Alaska might feel adventurous at some point.
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Who says he -isn't- the father? He very likely is. Just that its a case similiar to Wash & Gale.

Course, that isn't to say Alaska is grumpy about the situation. Nope. Its Cameron that's a bit out of it, considering he's got eyes for Alaska more or less only, and didn't quite ping to the concept of 'buy one, you get one free!', or 'they come as a matching paired set!' happens occasionally beyond dishware sales.

Or that 'Laska might not mind all that much if Atago becomes a third permanent resident in the household & snuggle-bunny. As in 'Yay! Bestest friend who understands me becomes Bestest sister-wife-slash-friend! Wait, that makes her sound like a slasher villain...eh, whatever. Yay!'. Because shipgirls don't quite think completely in human terms, yo.

On the upside? Cameron gets a beautiful flower on each arm, as the phrase goes. On the downside? Any and ALL downsides of a girlfriend/wife.....times two. Oh and I feel ever so much for his food budget whenever they go off base to somewhere classy that the Navy ain't gonna foot the bill. Work hard Cameron. You got the luck of the draw - and how - now its time to put in the hard hours to support a larger family than you were expecting. Also, I pity you on diaper duty. I so, soooooo, pity you.

Edit: 'buy one' is used as a humorous frame of reference in lieu of another harder to remember term/reference. Camerin would NEVER use that term in his mind.
 
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PAGDTenno said:
Subs are ships. Especially a big(relatively speaking) fleet sub like Albie.
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7734 said:
We here in the department of cute things produced so as to harry the author would like to remind the audience that a menage a trois is acceptable, immaculate conception is a far thornier subject. We here assure you, however, any construction work Cameron and Alaska decide to pursue with Atago will be very well documented, though.




WRONG. All subs are boats because subs started off as boats.
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Star_Trekker said:
Fun fact, the Navy actually does refer to subs as boats and not ships.
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Huh, neat. I was proven correct.
 
Sakuya's Butler said:
Who says he -isn't- the father? He very likely is. Just that its a case similiar to Wash & Gale.

Course, that isn't to say Alaska is grumpy about the situation. Nope. Its Cameron that's a bit out of it, considering he's got eyes for Alaska more or less only, and didn't quite ping to the concept of 'buy one, you get one free!', or 'they come as a matching paired set!' happens occasionally beyond dishware sales.

Or that 'Laska might not mind all that much if Atago becomes a third permanent resident in the household & snuggle-bunny. As in 'Yay! Bestest friend who understands me becomes Bestest sister-wife-slash-friend! Wait, that makes her sound like a slasher villain...eh, whatever. Yay!'. Because shipgirls don't quite think completely in human terms, yo.

On the upside? Cameron gets a beautiful flower on each arm, as the phrase goes. On the downside? Any and ALL downsides of a girlfriend/wife.....times two. Oh and I feel ever so much for his food budget whenever they go off base to somewhere classy that the Navy ain't gonna foot the bill. Work hard Cameron. You got the luck of the draw - and how - now its time to put in the hard hours to support a larger family than you were expecting. Also, I pity you on diaper duty. I so, soooooo, pity you.

Edit: 'buy one' is used as a humorous frame of reference in lieu of another harder to remember term/reference. Camerin would NEVER use that term in his mind.
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Heh. My (current abridged) plan for the Wee Little Cameron Family, while a little abusive of the fact Cameron is technically a government contractor, are along those lines as a yes and no thing. Aside from the fact that Alaska is a salaried member of the USN barring an "oh fuck" situation, it is just as planned for the USN and/or JDF to actually send him construction projects.

Yes, at some point Cameron's getting a RFI for what his kids would turn out as.

As for how Atago fits in this scenario, well, looks like poor Cameron is going to find some Japanese in his family tree somewhere so he can get an Indefinite Dual Citizenship, even if they have to drag it out of Abe himself.
 
7734 said:
Heh. My (current abridged) plan for the Wee Little Cameron Family, while a little abusive of the fact Cameron is technically a government contractor, are along those lines as a yes and no thing. Aside from the fact that Alaska is a salaried member of the USN barring an "oh fuck" situation, it is just as planned for the USN and/or JDF to actually send him construction projects.

Yes, at some point Cameron's getting a RFI for what his kids would turn out as.

As for how Atago fits in this scenario, well, looks like poor Cameron is going to find some Japanese in his family tree somewhere so he can get an Indefinite Dual Citizenship, even if they have to drag it out of Abe himself.
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If he can help the Japanese via Atago (or simething else), in some kind of large/noticable fashion, the Emperor might just step in personally. At that point, either the Diet falls all over themselves to help him get citizenship immediately, or Hilarity Ensues upon the Diet.
 
7734 said:
Heh. My (current abridged) plan for the Wee Little Cameron Family, while a little abusive of the fact Cameron is technically a government contractor, are along those lines as a yes and no thing. Aside from the fact that Alaska is a salaried member of the USN barring an "oh fuck" situation, it is just as planned for the USN and/or JDF to actually send him construction projects.

Yes, at some point Cameron's getting a RFI for what his kids would turn out as.

As for how Atago fits in this scenario, well, looks like poor Cameron is going to find some Japanese in his family tree somewhere so he can get an Indefinite Dual Citizenship, even if they have to drag it out of Abe himself.
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He's actually half Chinese.
 
theJMPer said:
He's actually half Chinese.
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Sakuya's Butler said:
If he can help the Japanese via Atago (or simething else), in some kind of large/noticable fashion, the Emperor might just step in personally. At that point, either the Diet falls all over themselves to help him get citizenship immediately, or Hilarity Ensues upon the Diet.
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Japan uses citizenship de sangre, not de jure; so the only for someone to emmigrate and be a citizen of Japan is to have prexisting Japanese heritage. Thus, either they're going to dig up some poor bastard who served back in the Sino-Japanese wars, or they're going to have to get the PM to issue a Special Dispensation. There are ways to do about this that don't go rocking the boat, gentlemen.
 
7734 said:
Japan uses citizenship de sangre, not de jure; so the only for someone to emmigrate and be a citizen of Japan is to have prexisting Japanese heritage. Thus, either they're going to dig up some poor bastard who served back in the Sino-Japanese wars, or they're going to have to get the PM to issue a Special Dispensation. There are ways to do about this that don't go rocking the boat, gentlemen.
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There are ways to get semi-permanant residency if you're married to a Japanese citizen. Semi being the key. My mother mentioned a case she heard about while she lived in Japan about a widow having to leave the country after her husband died. Not immediately, obviously. They gave her the necessary time to see to his funeral and make the necessary arrangements.
 
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    • "Hey, Doc." Jersey smiled into the laptop balanced precariously on her well-muscled belly. It felt like months since she'd seen the man who for all intents and purposes had been her guide through the treacherous waters of being a girl. She still wasn't quite certain how she felt about Crowning, but she didn't have the slightest reservation about letting him see her otherwise-embarrassing new hair tufts. Which… had to mean something, right?

    "Jersey," His scruffy visage cracked in a warm smile, the kind that made Jersey feel like she was drowning thick down comforters that'd just been pulled from the drier. The titanic battle wagon actually giggled for a moment. "Good to see you again."

    "Good to see you too." Jersey adjusted the laptop to keep the hot fan exhaust from blowing right onto her belly. Her simple T-shirt didn't provide any protection, and the heat was a mild but persistent irritation to the battlewagon. "So…" She flashed a coy smile. "Notice anything?"

    "Yuudachi got into your hair?" Crowning chuckled.

    "What?" Jersey made a show of pouting for the camera. "No, I mean… yes… but…" she angled the laptop to get a better angle of her newly-enlarged fuel bunkers. "Tiddy!"

    "Nothing if not consistent," said Crowning. Although Jersey noticed he only gave her chest the briefest of glances. He was empirically confirming her statement, not leering at her impeccable American Engineering like she might like. "How's the wedding prep?"

    "Oh," Jersey smirked to herself. "Jane's handling most of it. Little tyke'll end up bossing us all around before to long." She sighed. "Had to get fitted for dinner-dress though."

    "Oh?" Crowning laughed. "Something tells me that's more of an ordeal than you're letting on."

    "Like hell it is!" Jersey snapped back. "You'd think the Navy Exchange would have uniforms, but noooooo." The battleship huffed. "Actually, they do, but every goddamn one was… like fucking three inches too short in the sleeve. I swear to god, I would've fucking shredded those things the first time I moved my goddamn arm—" Jersey flexed her bicep for effect—"if I could've fucking squeezed it in in the first place."

    "And then," Jersey was just ramping up to her tirade. She had a vast supply of bottled up rage to let out, but something about Crowning made her want to keep talking. Maybe it was because he was just a civilian, but Jersey felt like she could tell him anything. "And then we went to a fucking tailor to get this shit custom-made. You'd think that'd work, right?"

    "Actually no," said Crowning with a good-natured smile. "But for the sake of narrative structure, let's say yes."

    "Wrong!" Jersey rolled her eyes. "Forget that I'm fucking massive and every tailor we found needed a fucking extension-ladder just to reach my goddamn collar, not a single goddamn one of them knows the first fucking thing about tits!" Jersey cupped her girthy bosom, only to instantly regret it as darts of pain shot into her fleshly breast. "Fuck me!"

    "Jersey?" Crowning tried to be compassionate, he really did. But despite all that a smirk was drifting onto his face.

    "Must've had half the pin production of fucking Sasebo jammed into my tits," said the battleship. "They look like fucking shower heads, goddamn!"

    Crowning chuckled, clearly at a loss for anything to say. A moment later, Jersey sighed too. She'd hoped her tirade would last longer, because as uncomfortable as her shopping trip had been, the silence was worse still. Of course, even silence was preferable to the serious conversation Jersey knew she should have, but… But she was a battleship. Going into dangerous waters is what she was built for. "So… you and Kirishima?"

    "She's… not a bad writer," said Crowning with a little sheepish hesitation.

    "You um…" Jersey coughed. "Fuck her yet?"

    Crowning was silent for almost a minute. "Jersey, I promise you—"

    "'cause you should," said Jersey. It hurt to say, but at the same time it felt good. It was like… like getting her bottom scrubbed clean of fouling. Yeah, it was a very through scouring, but by the time it was all over her tender skin felt so much healthier. "Um… I know you like me… or at least you like the idea of me you've built up in your head." She sheepishly chewed on her lip. "I know because that's what I'm feeling right now."

    Crowning was silent, but there was an understanding glint to his eyes, and he couldn't quite bring himself to meet the battleship's gaze.

    "But," Jersey forced herself to continue. "Let's be real here. I'm not even fucking remotely close to emotionally healthy for a relationship. You are. And you deserve someone who'll make you happy and shit. And from what I hear, Kirishima's that girl."

    "Jersey, I don't know what you've heard," Crowning was careful now. Picking his words with great care as he charted a new course through the treacherous shores of a woman's shattered heart. "But… Kirishima and I are just friends."

    "I know, doc," said Jersey. "Haven't heard you do anything for her you wouldn't do for me… or hell, anyone. But…" The battleship sighed. "Hell, you'd do anything for us. You did for me. Put up with all my shit and I… I'm a fucking amazon who walks talk and thinks—when she thinks—more with her stomach…or… other… organs…than anything approaching a brain. The fuck did we ever end up paired?"

    "Can't say I know," said Crowning with a chuckle.

    "Kirishima's more your style, I think." The battleship shifted her laptop and scowled at nothing in particular. "Four eyed little twerp—no offense. Just… she's on your fucking level—intellectually and shit. Me…"

    Jersey trailed off with an introspective murmur. It took her a moment to gather her strength once more, but even then her voice was quieter and shakier than it had been. "You and I aren't in a relationship, we never were. I was using you as a crutch and you were fucking propping me up 'cause you're a better person than I'll ever be."

    "Jersey—"

    "Don't argue with me, doc," said Jersey. "We both know it's true. You were too kind to say so and I was too much of a pussy to admit it. But that changes now." Jersey puffed out her chest with a stiff breath. "I'm a commander now. I own up to my problems and failures and shit. And you… you deserve someone who makes you happy, not someone who…. who you have to make happy."

    For a long time, the only sound to be heard was the gentle whirring of the laptop's fans and the chaotic murmur of Jane's wedding preparations.

    "You're right," said Crowning.

    "Huh?"

    "You're owning up to your failures," said Crowning. "But you don't have to face them alone. You keep away the demons, but if there's anything I can do to keep away your demons, anything at all… let me know."

    Jersey closed her eyes and smiled. All these months, and she finally had something that she hadn't even known she was searching for. Well… maybe Victory did, in that twisted half-remembered ghostly form of hers. Maybe this is what she kept pushing her towards, having someone she could… could be honest with. Let the mask of duty slide from her tired brow for just a moment.

    "Sure is, mate." said a tiny Australian voice in the back of Jersey's mind.

    "Go fuck yourself, cuntboat," said Jersey in the nicest possible way.

    "Pardon?" Crowning chuckled.

    "Not you," said Jersey. "I…" the battleship sighed. "If I said I had a small wooden man-o-war living inside my head, would you think I'm crazy?"

    "No, he said to the fifty-eight thousand ton battleship."

    "Fuck you," Jersey laughed. "Hey… look… so… we're not together anymore. But for all the shit I put you through, I feel like I owe you something for it."

    "Jersey, you don't."

    "Shut up and let me finish." Jersey tilted the laptop to get a better view at her freshly-enlarged fuel tanks. "Refit filled out my rack."

    "I can see that."

    "You ever wanna see my boobs," Jersey chuckled. "Just let me know. Actually…" she glanced over her shoulder, verifying what her radar and lookouts already told her. She was alone, save for the laptop on her tummy. "I could show you right now if you want."

    "Maybe… maybe another time, Jersey."

    Jersey froze with both hands planted firmly on her chest. "You sure? I mean… I gotta be honest here, Akashi's engineers know their way around tiddy. They're fucking works of art!"

    Crowning laughed. "And I'm sure you're only offering out of selfless desire to see her work appreciated?"

    "Damn straight!" said Jersey without a touch of irony.
     
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    • That went about as well as could be hoped. Jersey is experiencing character growth yay!
     
    Lovely. Nice to see Jer is 'maturing.'

    theJMPer said:
    "If I said I had a small wooden man-o-war living inside my head, would you think I'm crazy?"

    "No, he said to the fifty-eight thousand ton battleship."
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    He's got a point, J.

    Also, you misspelled Kirishima as Kirashima a few times.
    theJMPer said:
    And from what I hear, Kirashima's that girl."
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    theJMPer said:
    "But… Kirashima and I are just friends."
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    They're right after one another, so they're close.
     
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