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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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I'm certain this thread has become an accurate representation of the hell that Gale goes through on a daily basis. Not truly bad, but a lot of bullshit. Today, we went through: theories, foreshadowing, art, bullying, Jersey with cat ears, and a traffic cone with a lightsaber. Did I miss anything?

Oh, yeah. Me expecting this to be normal thread.

...Then again, what is a normal thread?
 
Admiral_Corgi said:
I will unravel this mystery Iron! That is a promise!
Though whether or not I end up getting silenced by a traffic cone at the moment of solving the mystery before the big reveal is a different matter all together :o
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But don't know know?

You have already been silenced.
B-baka! said:
I'mma post some Jersey here:

I think my eye bags are getting close to L's level...
Anyways, enjoy this Jersey.
Note: It was my first time trying to draw Jersey and I may have made some changes... please don't throw tomatoes at me.
*collapses*
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That's really good! Nicely done. :D
Raptoronline said:
So Jane is the MSSB version of Hoppo then? I can see it.
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Hmm~

Also:
Because.
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How much you wanna bet she's ordering that thing right this very moment.
 
Admiral_Corgi said:
... is it bad that I had a nap today... and for a good bit, I didn't think I was asleep... and the dream I had was me finally figuring out one of the big mysteries of the Fic (Sadly I don't remember what it was I had pieced Together :cry:). What woke me from the nap, and thus dream, was what happened as I went to the computer to post my finding here (again. The dream was so realistic I didn't realize I was in a dream until after I woke up.)

Anyways, computer shuts off and the room goes dark. I wonder what the heck is going on and then I hear a voice saying. "My my Mr. Corgi, your Foresight and perception is most impressive, but my master has sent me to silence you before you spoil his plans." coming from the emergancy exit door, I look and through the glass I saw a flash of Orange.

That's when I freak out and try running out the front door of the study center (since I was in the back) as the emergency exit door I normally sit by sudden comes off its hinges, except I hear the front door lock as i get to it. Panicking and realizing everyone else was frozen with fear or something else all together, I pick up na anatomical model sitting on the table by the door, Hurl it through the window to the hallway (its a weird Building, my school is.) and dove through it.

I didn't even make it ten feet down the hall before I felt something invisible grab me and pin me to a wall. Then I see Darth Traffic Cone, Jintsuu, stepping out of the study center giving me one of those seemingly pleasant yet utterly terrifying smiles.

All the while I'm screaming, "This is impossible! You're not real! You can't be real! You only exist in a fan-fiction!"
to which she tells me.
"You know not the power of MSSB and The Dark Side, Mr. Corgi. Your Fatal flaw was underestimating both, now come with me to this nice Van waiting outside~" As her hand comes towards my face.

And then I woke up with a yelp, falling outta my chair while flailing. I'm thankful that there was practically no one beside my brother there when it happened because when I finally calmed down five minutes later, he told me I had been muttering about a traffic cone nonstop and looking around the room. "In a fashion that made Pennsy's looking around when she returned lazy and calm."

Told my bro about the dream before I forgot it, he laughs and says, "Who knows, maybe the Universe decided to make you suffer like Gale from now on." to which I quietly muttered "no"

I guess its what I get for going so deep with trying to connect the clues and figure out the mystery of just exactly what Jane's true nature is, among other stuff.

Honestly though, I'd rather have a dream like that than one were I'm one of the poor SOB's who got caught by surprise by the Abyssals in the opening hours of the War.
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Seems pretty obvious to me. Jane is Deus Ex Machina waiting to happen.
 
Old Iron said:
You have already been silenced.
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Admiral_Corgi said:
*Looks back at prior post today Involving a dream and Darth Traffic Cone*
:o
Oh God! The dream, it was a warning! :eek:
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Darth Traffic Cone shall hunt you Corgi. Be afraid, be very afraid.

On a star wars note, this conversation seemed likely regarding my Pennsy drawing:

Inazuma: I will never give in. You killed my Mother nanodesu!
Pennsylvania: Inazuma, I AM YOUR MOTHER!
Inazuma: NOOOOOOOOO!
 
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Jane Speaks on Shipping

Pacing around her "borrowed" staging room, Commander Jane Richardson looked at her audiance.

"Friends, it has been said I like shipping."

Smiling, she stepped back and forth, her boots clicking tightly on the floor. Tiles rung as the hard rubber soles struck them, clicking along as the little shipper paced.

"My friends, I like shipping. No- I love shipping!"

Each step sounded more and more familiar, until far away Prinz Eugen looked west as the sound touched some dark, buried part of her soul and coated it in sparkling paint to retool it.

"I love romance by the fire. I love speed dating. I love watching a first date warm. I love a guarded heart being pressed by a suitor. The proposal. The moving in and the futile mash of of possessions."

Shivvering in her bunk, T-35 tried to curl under the covers. Nothing should sound on that frequency, that cute, girlish voice reminding her so much of Donitz. No, never! Why could she not block it out?!

"I love blasting the objecting biddies across the cafe with a well-placed night attack as they gossip about a single man. My heart leaps with joy whenever their arranged marriages are tossed high into the air as wedding confetti. And there is nothing like watching a date blow away their expectations, eight and eight times over! And that feeling when they look upon their own partners and see what a mistake they made all those years ago is such an exquisite feeling."

All across Berlin, dozens of trucks spilled their liquid contents, oil and glitter and confetti and chaff and a thousand other colorful materials, staining the steps of every government building in the capitol.

Sighing, Jane breathed in and started walking back across the front of the presentation. "Like when couple kiss madly under a light. Afraid each one will leave first, so terrified in their romance."

"The sight of boy's love under a streetlamp, sharing illicit cigarettes as they pretend to feel nothing for the other. And there is nothing more heartening than hearing the creaking and shrieking of the beds in the dormitories as they take one last night of comfort with their sisters in arms!"

"When my father resisted Mutsu's advances so strenuously, only to snap under the pressure she applied like a pair of shells weighing 4,8 tonnes, I was in ecstasy."

All along the base, staff members noted the total absence of destroyers. Not one, be it Japanese or American, could be found.

"I love it when I dance with Verniry, letting myself enjoy life with someone my own age. It's so sad to see the machinations of war bring bars and karaoke houses to a close, when they could be filled with young romantics, hoping that love can bloom. I love when my American countrymen come to this base with their English friends and ships as the base scrabbles to take into account this new complication."

"Ladies, all I ask for is love. Love so great, as to make Hell itself tremble. Ladies, I ask you, as sisters of this cause, who enjoy romance as much as I do, what do you really want? Do you wish for further love as I do? Do you wish for romances, as I do? Do you wish for an amazing series of affairs that will be branded into the annels of history alongside Antony and Cleopatra? An exchange of hearts that will bring the world to tears with its beauty, be understood across all the nations of this earth and her seas? Do you want love to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not one unmatched soul for the eyes of ravens to see?"

The destroyers laughed, cheering her on. "LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!"

Jane laughed loudly, her eyes glinting and sparkling like flint chips. "Then love you shall have. We are the open arms, ready to guide all to their mates. But, after enduring half a century asleep in these watery beds, no simple love will be sufficient to sate us anymore."

"We need a massive romance! A romance beyond any other that man's history has never known!"

Now, Jane sighed, a little of the maniac energy seeping out of her form. "We are but a small group, the remnants of proud navies hundreds strong and trapped behind the veil. However, I believe each and every one of you is worth a hundred of those blow-molded plastic boats out there today! We represent a force that could find ships for a million and one men! It is time to awake those that bemone their loneliness, to rip them from their shells by their hair and out into the light to be appraised!"

"We will remind them what it is like to live and to love. To hear our heels as we dance like battleships in the cafes. We will remind them there are more things between life and death than any dismal philosophy."

Looking around, the oldest and youngest figure in the room met as many eyes as she could. Each one cried out to her in their own ways. Each one needed this attention, to be reminded of themselves. She will prevail.

"Our Ersatzflotte of one hundred shipgirls will bring love to this base like none other. Yes, friends, soon the towers of Tokyo will light up the night sky! I have brought you all here as I promised I would. Back to our favorite port. Back to our beloved task! At last, the mating dances of our larger fraternas may climb the hills and commence!"

"Attention, all ships of the Returned Fleet, this is a message from your leader.

Friends...

Let's bring them love."
 
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Archduke said:
I'm certain this thread has become an accurate representation of the hell that Gale goes through on a daily basis. Not truly bad, but a lot of bullshit. Today, we went through: theories, foreshadowing, art, bullying, Jersey with cat ears, and a traffic cone with a lightsaber. Did I miss anything?

Oh, yeah. Me expecting this to be normal thread.

...Then again, what is a normal thread?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
 
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Omake: Sky sends botes to avoid bullying
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    • And back to Europe we go....

    _____________________________________________________________________

    The sound of boots clanking on wood echoed in the air. A tall woman, her face shrouded by her curly brown hair, paced along her room. If one didn't know better they may wonder why she was in a bad mood.

    Of course, anyone who knew her already knew that answer. SMS Hindenburg was equal parts lonely and dreading the upcoming meeting. Her sisters were gone. Her cousins had not returned. The only company she had were human or ship girls from other nations. Nice as Barham and the others were, the British were still...hard to talk to. On her end. And the less said about the strange little Swedes the better.

    Hindenburg still wondered exactly what was wrong with Sverige. No one was that impossibly cheerful about, well, everything. It was unnatural!

    Then again, at this moment, Hindenburg would almost welcome the strange Swede. It would be better than this nervous pacing. Anything would be better than this. Even the teasing of Sverige and the uncomfortable distance with the British. Or even the usual loneliness she felt when the battlecruiser thought about those long gone.

    At least it wouldn't be sitting here waiting for someone she didn't know. And yet needed to meet.

    I never once met Goeben. Moltke always looked so sad when she talked about her sister, though. And I know, now, that Goeben became more well known as a Turk than she ever was as a German. What is she like now? Will she even be like me anymore? What am I going to dooooooo

    Rotating on a dime, a turn that she would never have been able to make as a ship-that-wasn't-a-girl, Hindenburg set off towards her bed. The form of an old fashioned wireless message was clear on it. As her shapely stern sat down upon the fabric of her comforter, said message fluttered into the air. Hindenburg's hand reached up and snatched it from the air, the rough paper brushing against her fingers. It was all she had- internally at least, something that still confused her -to communicate with at distance. And, apparently, Goeben still had one of her own buried in a storage room.

    It was all so very confusing!

    "I have many duties in the Black Sea, as the flagship of the Turkish Navy. And, indeed, most of the forces in the Black Sea." The message had begun, once Hindenburg's crew had made sense of the code it was typed in. Also confusing. "But Midilli and Osman should be able to handle it for a little while. I understand that you never met me, but..."

    "I wanted to meet you, Hindenburg."

    Arms flailing in shock, the young battlecruiser fell back on her comforter. Fabric flung into the air from her rapid motions, and her bedding fell across her face. A minor miracle, that, considering how very red her face was. Her inexperience kept causing problems.

    I can't believe I did that!

    The light giggles echoing in the room as she struggled to extricate herself did little to help Hindenburg's fierce blush.

    "Oh dear, it seems I came at a bad time." A heavily accented voice spoke through the giggles, as the battlecruiser finally pulled her now thoroughly-mussed head free. "Are you alright Hindenburg?"

    Brandy-brown eyes turned away from her ruined bedding, and to the source of the voice. A tall woman, wearing a strange mixture of an Imperial German tunic over a traditional Turkish dress. Her pale- though somewhat tanned -skin and sandy-brown hair marked her as European, in a way that her clothing didn't. At least to a human.

    Hindenburg saw the ship beneath the woman. A tall mast over a squat bridge. Wing-mounted turrets. A straight bow. All features indicative of a German battlecruiser, if one smaller than herself.

    This is...she's...

    "Goeben?"

    The older battlecruiser nodded, though her smile did fade if only a little. "Ja, though you are only the second person to still call me such. It has been many years since I wore that name."

    Tugging her blanket from her shoulders, Hindenburg stood to face Goeben. When she was actually standing up, the difference was much more acute. They were both German and not that far removed in design, yet she was taller and better built. Her guns were larger and her design more modern. Yet...

    "Do you not like it?" Hindenburg asked, realizing that- in this case, at the least -looks didn't matter. Goeben had an air of grace and experience that the younger battleship frankly doubted she would ever match. Could ever match. "I-I don't really know you after all."

    If the smile on Goeben's face had faded at all, it quickly returned and fonder than before. The old girl turned her head in a short shake, placing a hand on Hindenburg's arm. As if amazed that she could touch the other warship.

    "No...no, I don't mind at all. Sometimes I forget that it was my name, once. I was the pride of Turkey for so long..." Goeben laughed softly, gently squeezing Hindenburg's arm. "Mind you, I still consider myself Turkish more than German these days. It's hard not to with how they welcomed me."

    "I can't claim to understand that," Hindenburg laughed, if only to cover her own feelings. This is what she was worried about.

    Goeben wasn't like her. They were cousins, but they never met. And Goeben wasn't even a German anymore, in anything but design. Her German was even accented. And not in the way one would expect from a ship built in Hamburg compared to one from Wilhemshaven.

    "It isn't really that hard to understand."

    If anything, Goeben was so much more...mature than Hindenburg. She sat down elegantly on the roughed up bed, gently smoothing out her long skirt. Hindenburg continued to nervously clench her own shorter skirt, her eyes furtively glancing from blue eyes to pale hands. She was like a nervous schoolgirl, damnit!

    It was unbecoming.

    Especially in front of Goeben.

    "You're just like Prinz Eugen, you know? She was just as nervous."

    Hindenburg turned her gaze back to Goeben's smiling face, as the older woman brushed a loose strand of brown hair from her eyes. The fond smile had never once left her elegant features.

    "I know how hard it is to talk to me like this. Especially with all of this," a gesture at the Turkish dress underneath the German jacket. "But remember, Hindenburg, that I'm here for you. I'm still your cousin, even if we call different nations home. That hasn't changed."

    For perhaps the first time since she had realized Goeben was coming to visit her, Hindenburg smiled. She nearly slipped on a stray sheet when she walked forward, falling forward slightly. But she still smiled and joined in the soft giggles from the other battlecruiser. Her clumsiness caused so many problems. At least Sverige wasn't here to make fun of her.

    Speaking of which.

    "Goeben?" Hindenburg softly asked, once she had stabilized herself and got her rudder back on a straight course to the bed next to her older cousin. The soft bed. "How long can you stay here? It's all so strange and I know you're needed in Turkey, but it...I..."

    "You get lonely."

    There was no recrimination in Goeben's voice. Nor her eyes, when bright blue turned on brandy brown. Just complete and utter understanding. Understanding that, now, Hindenburg realized only one other person could feel and understand. The battlecruiser sitting right beside her.

    Stupid!

    Why hadn't she realized it sooner?

    "...you know exactly how I feel, don't you?" Hindenburg's shoulders slumped, as a single tear rolled down her cheek. It was all so clear now. How had she missed it?

    Goeben nodded, a hand coming to rest on Hindenburg's. Where the German was soft and unused, the Turk was rough and calloused. A lifetime, one longer than most ships ever saw, against scant months of service. So different.

    And yet so similar.

    "Yes, I do believe so. After Midilli sank, it was just myself and the former Ottoman fleet. I was all alone with ships that were not from the same nation, ships that were not of my design. Not my family." A nostalgic, and somewhat sad, smile crossed a pale face. "I imagine that Hamidiye filled the same role for me that Sverige does for you, if what I've been told is true."

    Sverige.

    Strange as the Swede was, the thought of her did bring a small smile to Hindenburg's lips. Sverige did try her best to make her comfortable. It wouldn't surprise Hindenburg at all, to know the Swede was the one to set up this meeting. She almost treated the younger battlecruiser like a sister sometimes. It didn't replace her actual sisters, but...

    "That being said, there is no reason that you should have to go through what I did." Goeben pulled her hand away from Hindenburg, only to then wrap her arm around the other girl. Gently pull Hindenburg into a tight hug, pillowing her brown-haired head on the Turk's shoulder. "I'll stay here as long as I can, until I must return. And when I do, we can still talk over computers. You'll never truly be alone, I promise you that."

    Despite herself, Hindenburg couldn't help a smile crossing her lips, as she burrowed into Goeben's side. The other girl may have been a Turk and only a cousin...but right now? She felt like Derfflinger and Lutzow were holding her, her sisters telling her they were proud. Letting her know that, no matter how hard it got, she was never alone.

    I...I love this feeling.

    And battlecruiser Hindenburg let herself be lulled to sleep against the beating boilers of her old cousin.

    -0-0-0-0-0-0-​

    One skip. Two skip. Three skip.

    With a distinctive plop, a rock came to rest after skipping across the water. Frowning as she followed it, Victorious grumbled under her breath. Warspite had said to meet her out here, but there was no sign of the brown-haired battleship. No sign of anyone. It was just her, the wind trying to blow her braided hair out of her helmet, and the surf.

    And a few rocks, that she had idly been skipping. But she couldn't get more than three and that bugged her on a petty level.

    "Okay, let's try this again." Victorious crouched down to pick up another rock, testing the weight in her hands. Smooth and light.

    Getting back to her feet, the carrier cocked her arm back. Her crew ran about in her bridge, calculating the perfect launch angle. As her harm cocked back, steam was charged into her catapults. Just like launching a plane right? If that little American could do it, so could she!

    Or she could have, if it hadn't been for a sudden steam line failing and spraying everywhere. Nicely symbolized by steam shooting out of her ears.

    "Warspite what are you wearing?!"

    The rock fell, forgotten, as Victorious stared wide-eyed at the battleship casually sailing up to her. In a one-piece swimsuit that showed more than it covered. The red fabric was certainly tighter than anything Victorious ever wore.

    And yet still strangely elegant.

    If scandalous.

    For her part, Warspite just grinned and looked down past flowing brown locks, raising her arms up to examine them. "Do you not like it, Vicky?"

    Twitching at the nickname or not, Victorious got her steam line under control. Even if her face was still flushed red.

    "No-I mean ye-" Stumbling over her words, the carrier brought her hands up to her face. Covering her blush as best she could when she took in a deep, steadying breath. "stupid battleship trying to fluster me."

    "Did you say something?" Warspite tilted her head, her grin widening if it were possible. Stupid battleship.

    Victorious frantically shook her head, "No! Not at all!"

    "Hmm."

    With the grace and elegance of her title, Warspite ascended the ramp next to the pier. Water flowed off her legs, as she shook her hair out. Drops flying every which direction. For a battleship of her age, Warspite knew exactly how to shake her hair out. This way and that, just enough to reflect light off the water droplets.

    And she was almost certainly doing it to tease Victorious.

    ...damnit.

    "Is there some reason you're wearing that?" The carrier sourly asked, turning her head away from the battleship. Her own hair was tightly coiled and secured under her dented helmet. "Or trying to make me blow another steam line?"

    Warspite just laughed softly, holding a dainty hand to her mouth. "Oh you are so easy to tease, Victorious."

    "Am not!"

    "No, you really are."

    "No I am not!"

    Victorious knew she was falling into Warspite's trap, but she was every bit as bull-headed as a battleship or battlecruiser. Came from being an armored carrier. Or so she told herself. There was no stopping HMS Victorious when she got going!

    Not at all!

    "Whatever you say, dear."

    Unless it was Warspite, sending her a sidelong glance from her blue-almost purple -eyes. Bright blue eyes, that stared out from under damp bangs. Goddamnit.

    "I-I..." In an attempt to salvage some of her dignity, Victorious squared her shoulders and looked directly at Warspite. Anywhere but her chest, and her long legs and her slim torso. Yes. That. "Other than teasing me, why would you be sailing around in a swimsuit? Eh, Grand Old Lady?"

    As was the usual, when Victorious was flustered, she fell back into shooting back with that nickname. Warspite didn't like it, after all. And if the battleship was going to tease her, she was going to tease right back! With whatever she had available, when her own clothing was just the white t-shirt and short shorts she wore off-duty.

    And the carrier was rewarded with a slight twitch of the battleship's eye.

    "If you must know," Warspite's easy voice showed no sign of irritation. Though she did stop sweeping her hair around. "I was asked to practice swimming with the submarines. It seems that someone found that picture of when I ran aground, and wants to avoid it happening again."

    "What picture?"

    This time there was a definite twitch, as Warspite's smile turned predatory.

    "You will never know, my dear Vicky. Never."

    Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, Victorious backed off that subject right quick. Instead, she just sat down on the pier and let her legs kick out over the water. Warspite was who she was waiting for in the first place, and if the battleship had something to talk about, she'd sit down too. Which would prevent her from staring at the battleship again.

    Hopefully. She wasn't trying to, honestly.

    "Anyway, I do have something you should know."

    It turned out that Victorious was right, as Warspite fell down right next to her. The battleship's shorter legs didn't quite reach the water, but her thicker build was quite visible in her thighs. Bloody battleships.

    "And what is that, Warspite?" Victorious leaned back, looking over at the battleship beside her.

    Warspite just sighed, "This is still a secret, mind, but the Americans got another capital ship back. I just heard the news myself, direct from the Admiral." At the mention of that man, the Grand Old Lady shuddered slightly. "By the way, keep an eye on your mother please. Her flirting is worse than yours."

    Victorious shuddered more than her friend did. Her mother and the Admiral...yeah, that was an image she tried not to think about. "Will do." Shaking her head, the carrier focused back on the woman by her side. "And what's this about another cap ship? Unless it's a carrier, I don't see why you would tell m-"

    The armored warship trailed off, her brown eyes widening progressively. Unless it was a carrier...she wouldn't need to know. Even if it was a carrier, Warspite wouldn't have come right to her without changing. Her head snapped right around so quickly it strained gears in places she didn't know she had gears.

    "Youdon'tmeanthatshe'sbackdoyouIdidn'tthinktheYankscoulddoitaftersolong-"

    Her words spilled out so quickly it was a miracle they formed a coherent sentence. Sorta.

    Warspite just giggled. Giggled. "Slow down there, Vicky. Yes, she's back. Not like you would think, though."

    Forcing herself to calm down, Victorious sucked in a deep breath. And spoke, much more slowly this time. "Does it matter? Sister Sara's back, finally. Do you know how long I've been waiting for her to come back?"

    "Of course I do. But you need to know that she isn't like you remember." Warspite held up a hand, already expecting Victorious to try and get in a question. "Not in a bad way. She's just...not a carrier. More of a battlecruiser, y'know?"

    "A batt-" Victorious blinked. Very slowly.

    It was almost interesting in a way, to watch from the outside as her mind slowly imploded. Maybe her crew was in a state of shock. She was fairly certain that was her cook, trying to bang a pot to get people moving. Was that one of her Captains, slumped over the chair on her bridge? And was her CAG running in circles, spouting 'oi' so fast it merged into one long oooooooiiiiiiii?

    "Vicky. Vicky."

    Maybe she should do something about that. Before her cook pulled out a knife.

    "VICTORIOUS!"

    Warspite's shout finally got Victorious to blink and shake her head, turning brown eyes on the battleship. Who looked equal parts amused and concerned.

    "Why in the bloody hell," the carrier spoke, her voice shaking slightly. "Would Sara come back as a battlecruiser?"

    Seemingly relieved that her friend was talking again, Warspite shrugged. Her fingers tapped on the wood between the two warships, as she sighed. "Who knows. We don't really know how we come back, so maybe there was something about how she was called back? From what I hear, Saratoga hasn't let go of the man who summoned her since she came back. Those two are inseparable."

    Wait a second.

    Wait one bloody second.

    "One man? She never leaves?" Victorious' voice was deceptively calm, as she squeezed Warspite's hand out of nowhere.

    The battleship didn't even flinch, her armor more than Vicky could ever hurt. But she did blink. "Yes?"

    "Oh, I need to go across the pond then. Have a little chat." Victorious started to mumble under her breath, and other than her death grip, ignore Warspite.

    Who sighed, and shook her head in amusement. Leave it to Vicky to go from catatonic to plotting revenge on a man she didn't know. Sometimes, Warspite wondered which one was the big sister in the strange relationship that her friend had with the American carrier-turned-battlecruiser. And in this case...well. In this case, it looked like Vicky was determined to be the big sister who protected her surrogate sibling from the predations of the man who summoned her.

    Or such was what was probably running through the carrier's brain. Warspite couldn't claim to understand aircraft carrier logic.

    ______________________________________________________________________

    Momboat Yavuz and Teasing Warspite and Overprotective Foster Sister Vicky.

    Fun times.

    (no, I am not at all sending Vicky to prevent bully. Not at all.)
     
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    • The sky bullying shall continue as usual. And this next pic is... Oh my.
    Prude Rage incoming in three...two...one..
     
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