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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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wasn't it also noted when she first appeared in the story that she's pretty much been thrown out of every chat room on the internet. In hindsight we should have seen this coming a mile away.
 
God JMPer, are you trying to make life difficult for me? How am I supposed to get that twitter post into the FFN version? You can't even post links on FFN story, the stupid document editor deletes them... grumblegrumble.

Oh, and Mushi? You done fucked up almost as bad as Jersey has.
 
It's like watching a...

No, not a trainwreck.

Not a house on fire.

God my mind has no more analogies.

Like iunno someone help me out with this. Suitably disastrous analogy shite.
 
theJMPer said:
Well… at least the most proportionate, Musashi herself was—like her beloved big sister—a creature of such titanic size and prowess that she stood above mere mortal standards of beauty. Jersey might have the cutest little stern Musashi had ever seen, but the Japanese super-battleship sported the largest rifles ever fielded and the only impenetrable armor ever fitted to a battleship.
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1. Said rifles tend to uh... undershoot, shall we say.
2. @Skywalker_T-65 and Enterprise would like to have a word with you on that armor business.
theJMPer said:
Musashi found her glasses on the floor next to her night-stand, and chuckled to herself as she slid them on. She half-expected them to be mangled beyond recognition after that night. The big battleship took a moment to tie her hair up into its usual snowy twin-peaked style, and snapped a few selfies for her Instagram.

No, she wasn't wearing a shirt. It's Instagram, why would she be wearing a shirt when clever camera angles would do the trick. Besides, she had a duty to her country, her beloved big sister, and the engineers who forged a dream into steel and oil.

She would not let the world go unaware of the engineering marvel that was the Yamato-class battleship, nor would she shroud that seagoing beauty again. The Iowas had served longer than any battleship in history, but she would not allow her sister to be forgotten.
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... you know, I usually only pull this out of Kant-O-Celle Quest, but I'm doing it here. FUCK MILITARY LOGIC, IT'S SHIPGIRLS.
Why would the Japanese military allow one of their key servicewomen to post nudes, camera angles be damned, on the internet for all the world to see? Because Shipgirls.
Naval war college professor sends a dick pic, he gets fired.
Shipgirl has a history of uploading nudes, no action taken.
theJMPer said:
Musashi snapped a handful of extra pictures, just to be on the safe side. Then, with her daily quota of tastefully-nude images uploaded to her adoring internet fans, the battleship set herself to ensuring said legions of adoring fans were properly informed.

Thankfully, Twitter was magic and should be worshiped.
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See above. No need to monitor their twitter account, no need to enforce any sort of regs. It's shipgirls.
theJMPer said:
Content that the world was now properly aware and informed of nightly activities,
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Aaaaaand now we have an international incident. Whether this is considered breaking military law on Fraternization depends on whether or not Musashi and Jersey are considered within the same chain of command, but this is still unacceptable behavior for an officer.
Now, if this is all part of the plan @theJMPer, and you've got the consequences for this already lined up, awesome. But... you sure you want to do this?
theJMPer said:
The towering battlewagon stormed though her door and powered down the hallway, only to be stopped by a surly Marine who's face went a brilliant crimson the moment he laid eyes on the greatest exemplar of Japanese Naval Might ever produced.

After a few minutes of heated conversation, Musashi shuffled back to her room with a scowl that was most certainly devoid of even a hint of poutyness. "I, Musashi," she said with petulant defiance, "Will put on sarashi before leaving."
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Now this is more... traditional ecchi comedy.
theJMPer said:
Jersey just yelled at her and shoved fistfuls of pancake down her throat whenever she opened her mouth to protest
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On a more positive note, I can see Jersey literally taking pancakes in her hand and shoving it in Jersey's mouth.
theJMPer said:
Of course, even Jersey's instruction paled in comparison to White's decision to curl up on Shinano's lap for a nap.
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Fixed.
theJMPer said:
"Um…" Shinano wrung her hands and glanced from Musashi's boots to her own. "S-sister… Jersey and I were going to visit Akihabara today."

"Hmm?" Musashi cocked her head, partly in physical expression of her question, but mostly because her pancakes were getting in the way.

"It's fucking weeb land," said Jersey.

"Oh, I'm aware," said Musashi. Truth be told, she'd been wanting to visit the district ever since she learned about it, but her long isolation had made that impossible. Now, however, she could mingle with the adoring public, and maybe pick up some toys or something. Word is the New Jersey Nendoroids were already hitting the shelves, and she'd have to get some of those. And if a daki cover were to fall into her bag, well… Musashi would do her part to support the Japanese economy!
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... this is going to end in sexual harassment or someone being turned to red paste.
theJMPer said:
"Merry Christmas, Kongou." Goto smiled and wrapped his arms around the immensely heavy warship.

Kongou wasn't sure what'd just happened. But she was quite sure she liked it. "Dess," she said contentedly.
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Kongou. You're about as sharp a bowling ball, but we love you anyway.
 
@Old Iron. I'm having some difficulty getting the latest Certain Lady part up on FFN. For some reason, the document manager keeps putting the words in the much lighter color that you posted them in, which blends in with FFN's white background too well to make out without squinting. Could you send me a copy of the chapter devoid of any color editing?
 
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Generic_Generica said:
Like iunno someone help me out with this. Suitably disastrous analogy shite.
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Fukijima Round Two? Hurricane Sandy meets a downdraft and had a love child? Matt Ward strikes again? Krakatoa all over again? A fever dream that turns out to be all too real? Benerzia With Shipgirls ( bonus points for France joke) ?

I'm probably reaching, here.
 
Ash19256 said:
Like watching a rocket explode? It's already happened, but you can't stop looking at where it happened?
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Dingdong said:
Like watching two drunken hords of Soccer fans riot is some Eastern European nation?
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Always Late said:
Bayonet charge against a machine-gun line?
Someone setting their house, their neighbors house, their neighbor, and then themselves on fire?
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7734 said:
Fukijima Round Two? Hurricane Sandy meets a downdraft and had a love child? Matt Ward strikes again? Krakatoa all over again? A fever dream that turns out to be all too real? Benerzia With Shipgirls ( bonus points for France joke) ?

I'm probably reaching, here.
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... Oh wow that's a lot of responses in a very short amount of time.

Eeeehehhhhh close enough.

Honestly I /was/ going to say something like "Two battleships smashing into each other violently" and I was halfway into finding a suitable image but then I actually remembered the last few chapters and well...

Yeaaaaaaah no.

I really need to go to sleep. Mrgh.
 
Warning For Marginal Behavior - Yeahhhh.... too much. SHould have stopped way earlier. Take a week off from the thread.
OH I GOT ONE!!!!:)

This is like watching Hillary Clinton run for President!!
 
It's like watching videos of the hidenburg. I have the exact same dopey grin on my face from the anticipation
 
Generic_Generica said:
... Oh wow that's a lot of responses in a very short amount of time.

Eeeehehhhhh close enough.

Honestly I /was/ going to say something like "Two battleships smashing into each other violently" and I was halfway into finding a suitable image but then I actually remembered the last few chapters and well...

Yeaaaaaaah no.

I really need to go to sleep. Mrgh.
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Like some kind of battleship triple turducken with extra fire and explosions?
 
Oh gods, this can only end in some sort of horrific fire that is both hilarious and terrifying all at once.

Kinda like Chlorine Trifluoride.

...Exactly like Chlorine Trifluoride.

On a lighter note, the scenes with Shinano and Kongou were so very sweet. And I really, really loved that Goto just decided to suck it up and deal with a Kongou glomp for Christmas. I can think of many things that wold make her even happier, but somehow this one was just right. A hug and a Merry Christmas from her Teitoku. Perfect. :)

obssesednuker said:
@Old Iron. I'm having some difficulty getting the latest Certain Lady part up on FFN. For some reason, the document manager keeps putting the words in the much lighter color that you posted them in, which blends in with FFN's white background too well to make out without squinting. Could you send me a copy of the chapter devoid of any color editing?
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That's... odd. There isn't any color editing.

But sure. Gimme a few.
 
Viper5delta said:
I was thinking, Mushi being Mushi, a lot of native japanese will see that tweet, and idiot otaku being idiot otaku someone will go up and congratulate them while they're in weeb land. Cue massive rage and gratuitous collateral damage.
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Alternatively Jersey goes quiet and then just slumps nonresponsive... and then Musashi notices the tears before it hits her as she hears Jersey mutter about Crowning.
 
Always Late said:
... you know, I usually only pull this out of Kant-O-Celle Quest, but I'm doing it here. FUCK MILITARY LOGIC, IT'S SHIPGIRLS.
Why would the Japanese military allow one of their key servicewomen to post nudes, camera angles be damned, on the internet for all the world to see? Because Shipgirls.
Naval war college professor sends a dick pic, he gets fired.
Shipgirl has a history of uploading nudes, no action taken.
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Because they have better things to do with their time. Musashi's "History" of posting lewd images only goes back about a week. (She's been in hiding up until the Northern Princess operation, and then she was busy being at sea and shooting things.) In the grand scheme of things, stopping your one and only super-battleship from posting nudes (especially when said nudes can also be found in any copy of Janes' Fighting Kanmusu) isn't nearly as crucial as keeping people from starving. The JMSDF is stretched very thin right now, they barely have enough people to keep their ships and aircraft in the fight, so the PR effort isn't top priority right now.

Besides, what Musashi did wasn't really that bad. I guess you could say she broke OPSEC, but any details about her design you'd be able to figure out though examining her Instagram you could figure out by visiting her wikipedia page. There's a world of difference between sending unsolicited sexual images to an unconsenting recipient and posting sexual images of yourself. Plus, shipgirl, yo. What exactly are they gonna do, pull her off the line?
Always Late said:
See above. No need to monitor their twitter account, no need to enforce any sort of regs. It's shipgirls.
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Tweeting that you got laid isn't a world-ending affair. Musashi might get a talking too, but this is the same battleship that charged roaring into battle after three torpedoes tore her hull open just because someone laid a hand on her close-escort. Some degree of goofing of while on shore-leave is to be expected.
Always Late said:
Aaaaaand now we have an international incident. Whether this is considered breaking military law on Fraternization depends on whether or not Musashi and Jersey are considered within the same chain of command, but this is still unacceptable behavior for an officer.
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How is this an international incident? Neither girl is in the other's chain of command. (Even on paper, Jersey's flagship of US BatDiv 1, while Musashi's attached to a joint Escort Division under JMSDF command.) Musashi's not an officer either, and SecNav has explicitly given shipgirls lots of freedom of operation. What she gets up to while on shore leave (especially, you know, hours after learning her little sister died) is her business.

Plus, Jersey makes up fully a third of the USN's entire fast-battleship fleet, and a fifth their battle line. They can't afford to pull her off the line.

Dingdong said:
OH I GOT ONE!!!!:)

This is like watching Hillary Clinton run for President!!
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That's still in the future (it's Christmas 2015, remember?) Although Trump has given his speech aboard Iowa already.
Jersey: Sis... take off the hat.
Iowa: NEVER!
 
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