--Kiss her
You struggle with the thought only for a moment, you pull your back from her and turn around, craning your neck around to catch her lips in yours. Kaname lets out a surprised noise, as she hesitates for a moment, but only a moment as she begins to kiss back.
How to describe it? Poets compare it to the touch of flower petals, of silk of a dozen things that are soft, yet somehow firm in their own way. As you taste the subtle mingling of sweat, incense and lipstick on her lips, you decide none of them are right.
The kiss ends, and you stare into her eyes as she stares into yours. You see something between lust and love in them, and find yourself shifting to face her fully. Without a word Kaname sits down on your lap and places her arms over your shoulder.
She leans in again and kisses you, you kiss back, your body revelling in hers, her teeth nibbling on your lip as your hands run up and down her back. There aren't really words, as her hands move into your hair, soft calluses gripping your head, as you both lose yourself to this.
Once again the kiss breaks, but only for a moment as you kiss her in turn, letting your tongue press against her mouth, exploring her body with your own. The soft moans surprise you are your hands grasp her hips.
How long your hands roamed over her body you couldn't say, feeling her through the kimono tracing the countless tiny scars that one gains through training, every one of them only serving to heighten her beauty to you.
How long your mouths explored each other, you didn't know as you kissed her and were kissed back, moving down each other's necks and back up...finally you stop to breathe, both of you silent as the candle flickers in the night. The tiny flame showing the deep flush on both of your faces, the heat of your bodies reflecting each other to a fever pitch. You both want more, you need more.
You take your hand and place it on her chest and you give an experimental squeeze...it feels firm yet soft, gently you lift and massage her, fingers brushing against her through the fabric. Before too long you find your other hand reaching up, doing its best to feel and experience your fiancee Kaname lets out a cute short groan, whimpering "Hisao..."
Hisao, your name becomes a talisman that cuts through the fog. Hisao, you are...right, you can't do this, no matter how much you want to, no matter how much you want to make her scream your name. It wouldn't be right.
You pull back from her, and she looks at you hurt.
"What did I?"
With a shake of your head, you lower your hands to her waist.
"Nothing Kaname-chan...were I not Hisao...nothing on Earth could stop me...but I am...and I have to do what's right...even if I don't want to."
Kaname puts her hands on your waist mirroring your actions.
"I can feel how much you want to...but you're...a better person than I am...I never thought it would be like this."
Her voice is soft and full of disappointment, but also understanding.
"...I'm sorry"
She leans into you resting her head on your shoulder.
"You don't want to dishonour me...I can't be too upset with that can I?"
"...well you could" You say quietly.
Kaname lets out a small sad chuckle, that reminds you of rain.
"No I couldn't. I do want you to care about me."
"I do care about you" comes from your mouth.
"Then, you'll let me in? Tell me why you were drinking from the bottle when I came in?" She asks.
You take a deep breath, you know that she's hurt because you stopped, but that if you want this to happen again, to just be a man and woman who are learning to love each other, then telling her what happened is what must be done.
For a moment you nuzzle into her neck, looking for the words.
"My uncle told me of two threats to the Empire, one north with the Yobanjin and one to the west with the Shadow Dragon. I sent him north, to die while destroying the threat. I sent my uncle on a suicide mission Kaname." You say.
Guilt, comes rushing back, guilt at making the choice, guilt at sending someone who had once been the hero of the Empire to die, because that was what you had to do. Maybe if you were better, smarter, stronger, you'd find another way...but you aren't.
Kaname goes silent for a moment and then says.
"You are a good man Hisao, even if I wish you were a little less right now."
She pulls back from your shoulder and kisses you again. Showing that she believes that with deed and words. That she still cares for you, wants you, even though you sent a family member to die.
You kiss her back.
"Thank you Kaname"
For a moment there is again silence.
"Hold me?" She asks.
You nod, and pull her close, leaning back against the chair. No more words are spoken as you fall asleep in her embrace, and she in yours.
----------------------------------
The sun shines high in the sky as you look around at your assembled council, the Jade tournament isn't over, but your lunch with Shem-Zhe has morphed into a cabinet meeting. while in the abstract, you know that nothing can really be done, you want to talk about this, and get options. Maybe you missed something.
You steeple your hands.
"And that is the situation as we know it."
Kaneka is the first to speak.
"Loosing my brother is unacceptable to me. The Legion of Two Thousand is already in the north. I can send them to reinforce him."
"The Legion of Two Thousand, barely has numbers to it's name, in case you forgot they along with the Phoenix expended a great deal of effort taking Forgotten City. They're in no state to launch a campaign already." Akane returned coolly
"Tell me then Kitsuki-san, what would you do?" Kaneka demands.
"I would have the Scorpion prepare a strike force and assassinate this Shaman with Isawa-san."
"Bayushi-san will never go for that. It's not a good investment" Hiroko interrupts now.
"Right now the Scorpion have no reason to seriously help."
"I am certain I can convince them of our need" Akane says firmly.
Noritoshi sighs as he puts down his tea cup.
"Leave it to me then to put forth the unpopular position. Let Isawa-san win or fail on his own merits but prepare for the worse. Kitsuki-san believes there is an internal threat to the Emerald Empire, let us turn our efforts on that, and let Isawa-san die with dignity"
Kaneka's low pitched growl, shows just how unpopular that decision is with him.
Shem-Zhe coughs.
"As cruel as that is Kakita-san, I don't think that will work either. Isawa-san needs power and reinforcement yes, but I believe it is only the Heavens who could provide enough. Allow me to construct a ritual to beseech the Dragons and the Fortunes to help him."
Hiroko rolls her eyes.
"Or we could just you know pay the Yobanjin to fight each other? Solve two problems at one that."
The debate continues for a time in that vein, but in the end all eyes turn to you.
You weight the merits of each plan in your head before finally deciding.
"I have heard your council and we will..."
[] Use Kitsuki Akane's plan (TN 35, 31% Chance with free raise)
[] Turn our focus inward as Kakita Noritoshi suggests (TN 25 52% Chance)
[] Let our Shogun take action with his plan (TN 35, 11% Chance with free Raise)
[] Employ our Treasurer's idea (TN 30, 37% Chance with two free raises)
[] Turn to the Heavens as Horiuchi-san wishes. (TN 30, 20% Chance with one Free Raise)
