Chapter 173 - Back To Work
It's not like you expected it to be a triumphant return when reappearing in the Library. There's no glory in your work; not like the show Mami presented herself as or even the plain, overwhelming victories that Kali won as a fixer. The only reward you earn at the end of a day's work is to rest until tomorrow. Today, you won't even get that. After all, there's still a lot of cleanup to handle. You have an outstanding deal with Isabeau de Bavière's children, the Magical Girls that the Wizard had working for them need to be dealt with, who knows how many civilians including Madoka and Sayaka's parents have to be told something about what's happened, and you need to check the integrity of your shell so you don't accidentally set off a second apocalypse after averting the first one.
There is so much left to do, but you feel satisfied with the outcome of today's work. Not victorious, but satisfied. No casualties on your side is always a satisfactory outcome when handling an Aleph-class Abnormality. Against one that's had time to set up, it's nothing short of a miracle. And to have come out of it with not one, not two, but three manifested EGOs? It's nothing less than an overwhelming success.
So when you and your cohort arrive in the Library, you're in a good mood. The foyer feels cramped when you flash into being along with your kids and the captives, joining Angela, Yuma, Roland, the Sephirot, and a few of your Agents and some of the Library's Magical Girls who were all waiting nearby. For as grand a space as it is, the clearing between the towering shelves is clearly not meant to hold this many people.
"We're back!" you announce cheerfully. Angela and the Sephirot don't react, having expected your return, but relieved and awed chatter runs through the others gathered in equal parts.
Angela raises an eyebrow at you. "And I see you've managed to acquire more children in the hours you were gone."
"Not permanently, hopefully." You grin. "But I'm just going to keep them up in my floor. Some of the fake environments up there looked suitable for humans."
It would have been funny to see the reactions if any of the kids had kept their EGO manifested, but in the interest of avoiding total exhaustion they'd all transformed back to normal. What a shame.
Ashley Taylor does not comment on your open discussion of her impending imprisonment. She glances around the Library interior, clearly overwhelmed by the immensity of Angela's EGO. But soon her eyes have turned to the people filling it. Shock flashes in her face when she sees the other Magical Girls milling about the grounds, and she nearly drops Sena. The other captured Magical Girl is still unconscious, carried unsteadily by her former compatriot.
"You're gonna lock up some kids? What'd they do?" an Agent comments idly. Ashley makes to say something, but a glance towards you standing nearby silences her. You fail to repress a sigh.
"They were working with the Adult Who Tells Lies, willingly. It's too risky to leave them running around as they please."
Ashley and Sena are suddenly fixed with a flood of angry glares from the Magical Girls of the Library. After their previous encounter with an Abnormality, it's no surprise that they've developed something of a grudge. Hopefully this means the Wizard's supporters won't be able to cause any problems with them. If any of the Abnormality's rhetoric about you starts to circulate, it'll be difficult to root out.
Angela closes her eyes and sighs as if you've done something stupid. "I hope this doesn't represent a pattern of you shoving your problems into the Library for me to deal with. I have enough on my plate as is."
"They're not problems, they're people! And they need somewhere to stay!" you tease. It's an understandable complaint Angela brings up, though you have no plans of making her solve your problems for you. It wouldn't be fair to her. And besides, it's better to handle things without dragging other people into it when you can. "With all the escaped Abnormalities I'm aware of now returned here, I'll be able to work on some other outstanding issues. I've already got the plans laid out for the machinery to get the Magical Girls here back out. It's just a matter of assembly soon."
"Y'mean we're gettin' out soon?" one of the kids interrupts, eagerness utterly unhidden. And she does look so much like a child in that moment, free of the veneer of maturity you're used to from Kyubey's contractees.
"Two weeks at the longest." It's a generous timescale for the work involved. With the planning done, all that's left is for Kyubey to send the parts and for you to assemble them. Just to be safe though, you would rather leave room for potential complications. Better to be ahead of schedule than behind. "Sorry I can't do it sooner."
Any hope of receiving a direct answer is lost in the chatter that follows. For every eager voice, there are those singing with anxiety or doubt. It's a predictable response to such a sudden but immense promise. Going from an utterly unknown timeline to being able to count the days until they can leave must be a shock. You have to wonder if all of the Magical Girls will even want to leave. In the Library, they're safe and provided for. It's a far cry from hunting Witches just to survive and constantly competing for territory with your peers. Some have families and friends that they'll want to go back to, yes… but not all of them.
In the end, that's Angela's decision, not yours. You've made use of the Library when necessary, but her earlier chastisement was fair. She doesn't need to solve your problems for you.
And it's Angela who brings the chatter to silence with a single clap of her hands. "Now that you've gotten some good news, you can all leave. I have things to do, and there are too many people here right now."
The Sephirot get to work ushering both the children and your Agents away with only a little grumbling from both groups. You've got work to get back to as well. First getting Ashley and Sena situated, then mostly talking to people, though you should also check on-
"And speaking of people you've made me deal with," Angela continues, stern tone laced with exhaustion you know is performative. She claps her hands again, and light flashes in the now-cleared middle of the room. When it fades, Yuma is standing there carrying a single small book.
"Oh!" she exclaims. "Sorry, Yuma hasn't got all the books you asked for yet Aunt Angela, but-"
Angela cuts her off and takes the single book from the child's hands. "I can retrieve the rest myself. Your mother is here."
Yuma turns and rushes you immediately. You shift your weight to avoid being displaced by the child-shaped missile impacting you, to the unstifled amusement of your other children.
"I see somebody missed me." you say.
"You're back!" Yuma cheers. Clearly, she did miss you. You crouch down to eye level with your youngest child and ruffle her hair.
"I am." you say. Your voice lowers to a mock whisper. "I have more work to do, but I won't be so far away this time. While I'm working, there's something special I need you to do." Now, you quiet yourself to a real whisper. You aren't really trying to hide what you're doing, but making this request with your other children listening would feel strange. "I need you to look after your sisters. A lot has happened, and I'm worried how they're feeling. Can you do that?"
Yuma nods with all the seriousness that a preteen can muster. You smile at her. Your reasons here are twofold: first off, you really do want to know if the other children are feeling alright. Your own senses make keeping track of that easy, but additional perspectives never hurt and Yuma has already shown herself to be perceptive when the moment strikes. Second, it gives her something to do while you're working elsewhere. Callous it may sound, giving Yuma attention just isn't a priority compared to some of the other things you need done. You well understand the consequences of neglect, but you have too much that can't be left to wait. Setting Yuma up with something to do will keep her occupied and involved.
"Thanks." You offer Yuma another short embrace and then stand up. "Mami, Sayaka, Kyoko, you can take some time to yourselves. Just talk to Angela when you're ready to leave, and take Yuma back to the apartment with you when you go. I'd like Madoka and Homura to come with me for a moment. Ashley, you and Sena are coming as well."
Back to work you go.
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After the brief journey up (or down? It's hard to tell with the Library sometimes) to your Floor, you find yourself perusing its hallways for the right room. You haven't spent much time in the Floor of Geography, despite it ostensibly belonging to you. There's never been a good reason to want to be here. Maybe if it were staffed things would be different, but as is the Floor feels sterile. You remember during his University years, Ayin visited a natural history museum once for a project. Your Floor reminds you of that visit. The too-wide hallways are filled with glass cases containing bizarre animal shapes. Off to the sides, viewing windows look into various enclosures too large for the spaces that contain them. Some are mundane, fields of wheat dotted with simple homes or wide beaches bordered by black sands. Others are more fantastical. But you're looking for something more specific.
Eventually, you find it. An enclosure containing nothing but a furnished apartment room, empty of personal effects save for a single poster depicting a list of different types of crab and some unprepared instant food piled on random surfaces.
"Here we are. Ashley, you and Sena will be staying here for the near future. There should be enough food to last you a few weeks, but if you need something you can go bother one of the Librarians about it." you instruct. Ashley states blankly at you. She'd been jittery the whole trip up, eyes jumping to each new sight like she was waiting for something to jump out at her. Whatever she was expecting at the end, it definitely wasn't this.
"You're just going to leave us here?" she asks, incredulous.
You raise an eyebrow at her. "Would you rather go to jail? We can't leave you running around to do as you please, but it's not like we've got prison cells just lying around."
Ashley stares at you for a moment, then glances back to Homura and Madoka. The pair are holding hands and Homura is glaring at the other two Magical Girls in a way that suggests she would have preferred if you did have access to a prison cell. In contrast, Madoka wears a reassuring smile that you're sure only looks thin and fragile to you. Finally, Ashley looks back at Sena. The other Magical Girl still hasn't woken up. If she's still unconscious by the time you're ready to leave you'll have to attend to her as well. Work really is piling up, isn't it?
Ashley tries to meet your eyes. For a split second, she holds your gaze. "Alright, but don't expect us to just sit down and give up." You can feel the fire in her voice.
"I don't." you answer. Though it would make your job easier. "Homura, would you mind staying behind for a moment to watch these two while they get settled in? I need to speak with Madoka about some recent developments."
Homura doesn't answer right away. You see her hand tighten around Madoka's, and the other girl shoots her a worried look.
"It'll won't be long." you assure. Slowly, Homura removes her grip on Madoka's hand. Madoka is just as hesitant to let go as the time traveler is.
"I'll be waiting." Homura says. Exhaustion drips from each word. If you had expected her to actually have to do anything but wait and watch, you wouldn't have put her up to this. She definitely needs some sleep.
"Don't worry," Madoka whispers to Homura. "I'll be back soon. I'm not going to leave you alone again so soon." With that, Homura stands a little less tense. You extend a hand and Madoka takes it, following you further into your Floor.
Your office comes up almost immediately. An overly large room containing a large, ornate desk with a plain and uncomfortable looking chair on one side. You ignore both and wave a hand, drawing the ambient Light into the form of two more comfortable cushioned chairs sitting in one corner of the room. You'd rather not look over the other side of a desk for this conversation. You can't help but notice that even after you both sit down, Madoka doesn't let go of your hand.
"I'm not sure I'll ever get used to you just making things like that. It's amazing." Madoka says. You grin in answer.
"You could probably do it as well. The Light takes to shape pretty easily. But that's not what we're here to talk about, is it?"
Madoka shakes her head. "What… are we here to talk about?"
"A few things. First of all," you say, raising one finger as you begin your list, "Is the fact that you've manifested EGO." It would have been 'How are you feeling?' but you can already tell Madoka isn't ready to start unpacking that yet. Thus, you should give her something else to focus on in the meantime. "Personal EGO is extremely rare, to the point that the total number of users I know about could be counted on my hands. The majority of them are in the Library right now. As such, I'd like your permission to study your manifestation."
"Of course!" Madoka answers immediately. "What kind of studying will we be doing?"
"Preferably I'd limit it to non-intrusive tests, but there's not much data available to work off of." Testing with Kali's EGO gear involved a lot of surgery. You don't think Madoka's parents would appreciate that, and it didn't turn up much in the way of useful results anyways. "As is, the curriculum I have planned will be mostly testing and experimenting with the mechanics and limitations of your new abilities and seeing if I can work backwards to determine where they came from. In theory, matching enough elements to their source personality traits will allow for the prediction of future manifestations." It's unlikely you'll ever get enough data to make something like that, but the information would be beneficial to have on hand regardless.
"Are you going to be training me?" Madoka asks.
"Would you want me to?"
Madoka looks confused. "…Yes? Is there a reason you shouldn't? You're the one who knows everything about EGO."
"That's not untrue," you accept. Aside from Binah, you have the most complete understanding of EGO gear's workings out of anyone still around. "But that information only goes so far. Personally-manifested EGO is, well, personal. Nobody will know better than you how it's supposed to be used. I can help you with general combat sense and battlefield awareness, but more specific learning will have to come from you."
Madoka frowns. "I… think I understand. Actually, there's something I wanted to ask you about."
"By all means, go ahead."
The child shifts in her seat and glances away from you for a moment. "When I… before I got my EGO, there was somebody else who talked to me. He said that…" She pauses again, drawing back the bizarre memory into focus. "He said that he was 'X', but that he wasn't you."
"Oh." Of all the things you'd expected to hear…
Well, it wasn't that.
But even if you weren't expecting it… "Yes, I think I understand what happened. It makes sense given what I know about the Light."
'X' was merely a title adopted by Ayin. If he has become a part of the Light, then any aspects of his personality would go with him. Not that any of those really existed anymore. By the end, you had fully collected yourself. The plan had always been to dissolve yourself in order to complete the Seed of Light. The steps to that end were less clear, but the whole Facility was designed to make them an inevitability. Over thousands upon thousands of years, with the right conditions, eventually everyone would reach the place they needed to be in. Ayin became X who became Ayin again, but the Ayin you ended up as was a better man than the one who had built the Facility which made him.
Where you and your current state fit into this process is becoming clearer, but you'd rather not draw any conclusions right now. You already have enough on your plate as is. More pointedly, Madoka needs your assistance right now.
"So what do you want to ask me about?" you say.
Madoka hesitates for a moment before answering. "Are… you okay? When I talked to them, that person looked really tired, and when I asked them the same thing they just dodged the question."
You don't answer too quickly, but neither do you take too long to reply. Madoka's sharper than most people give her credit for. "Thank you for caring, Madoka, but I'm fine. Really. I know I haven't told you much about what I did before I arrived in Mitakihara, but it's not a surprise to me that that version of me would be unhappy. I'm in a healthier environment now, though."
Relatively healthier. It's hard to tell if you really were unhappy back then; at least any more than would be expected. Your memories are difficult, yes, but you had grown used to the Facility. For a long time, it was the only world you knew. Comparing it to Mitakihara, and to Madoka's world as a whole is difficult. It's easier to see the lines that remain between the two than it is to pick out things that are meaningfully different.
Madoka nearly says something more, but stops herself. "Okay. I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. You do so much for all of us, but sometimes it feels like there's nobody looking after you."
You laugh softly to yourself. "Madoka, I'm an adult. I can look after myself. But I really do appreciate the thought. Now, is there anything else you wanted to ask?"
Again, Madoka swallows down whatever she was planning to say. "Yes, but I can wait until we start training. It'll be faster to do them both at once, I think."
"If you say so." you answer, moving on from that topic. "That leaves one more matter for now. We are going to have to talk to your parents."
Madoka's eyes go wide. "My parents! And Tatsuya! Are they- are they here?"
"They're currently waiting elsewhere on the Floor." you answer, and Madoka stands up just long enough to realise that she doesn't know where to go and sits back down, lost. "We can start heading there right now, if you'd like."
Madoka nods immediately. You both stand, and again you lead the girl by hand through the passages of your Floor.
"Before we arrive, I should tell you that we're going to have to tell your parents what happened to you." you warn as you go. "It's up to you if you want to stay for that or not, I-"
"Please don't tell them!"
You stop. It's unlike Madoka to interrupt you. It doesn't take looking back to see her distress.
"They deserve to know." you say carefully. You don't want to override Madoka's decision here, especially not when she so clearly cares so much. "Your parents already know some of what happened, they were already worried about you. I'm sure they'll just be relieved you're okay."
"If they're already worried, then I don't want to make it any worse." Madoka says, voice just above a whisper. "If Mom and Dad learned what happened, it would just hurt them. I can't do that to them even more than I already have."
"None of what happened was your fault." you say. You've crouched down to stand at eye level with Madoka instead of towering over her, one hand on her shoulder. It's just another little reminder of the distance between you and the children. "You know that, right?"
"I do!" Madoka says. "I just… don't want to make it worse for them. They shouldn't have to worry about all this." As she speaks, her voice steadies until it is again filled with steel. "That's why we're fighting, isn't it? So other people don't have to be afraid or in danger. I should at least be able to keep my family safe."
"And you can do that." you assure her. "But… your parents already know about magic. They know you're going out and dealing with things that they don't understand. They know you got hurt because of those things. Leaving them in the dark won't protect anyone." you explain. In this case, it would most likely make things worse. Leaving the Kanames to imagine what could have happened instead of telling them would give nobody peace of mind. Not to mention you're sure Madoka would end up feeling extremely guilty about deceiving her parents.
"I… I'm not sure. What if they ask me to stop?" Madoka asks. Her voice is again wavering. "I know if they knew what happened, Mom and Dad wouldn't want me to be part of this anymore. But I can fight now! I can finally help! I don't…" Determination flares in Madoka's voice before draining down, settling slowly into a low, warm strength. But there's a note of desperation in it as well. "I won't sit back now. I'm going to fight, like Sayaka and Homura and Mami and Kyoko. Even if my parents don't want me to. But I- I don't want to have to make that choice."
"I see." Is all you can say. You would be a hypocrite to deny Madoka her chance to make a difference; a hypocrite and a fool. She's right that if her parents hear what happened in the Emerald City there is little to no chance the Kanames will let their daughter continue to walk into danger. Not after learning that, even if for a brief time, she died. "So what would you want to tell them? We can't just say nothing."
"Maybe just… say that it wasn't that bad?" Madoka's words are soft and shaky. "I don't want to keep them in the dark, but they shouldn't have to hear everything. We could just leave out the worst parts. That way, they won't have to be as afraid."
Even as her voice hitches when she mentions the "worst parts", you ask yourself what you're going to do. Being completely and fully honest will cause a great number of problems, but anything less feels like a violation of integrity. Lying would mean taking control of a situation, of a relationship, that you have no right to authority over. Madoka is her parents' daughter; you shouldn't interfere with that. But would failing to interfere do more harm than good? If you choose not to act when you could, then you would be just as responsible for whatever goes wrong. For whatever tension forms between Madoka and her parents when she inevitably disobeys their wishes for her safety. So you must choose something.
And either way, it will lead to an uncomfortable conversation ahead of you.
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Porccubus' Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
Schadenfreude's Sapling - Observation Level 2/3
The Adult Who Tells Lies' Sapling - Observation Level 1/3
CENSORED's Sapling - Observation Level EXPUNGED/REDACTED
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[] Be fully honest and tell the Kanames everything
[] Respect Madoka's wishes and soften the details
