You knew you couldn't avoid this subject forever with Alicent. Well. Mayhaps you could, but it would likely have been torture for the both of you.
The more you thought about what Gwayne said, the more you realized he was speaking truths. The way she stared at you while you were training. The fact that even when the two of you barely spoke she was still willing to all but sing your praises even to her father. How she ran from you when you first tried to talk to her. The way she blushed when you talked. How she turned away when you showed off your arms, as if she was embarrassed. That she agreed so easily to become your handmaiden. As you went over things over and over and over in your head, you felt downright silly for not having noticed Alicent's feelings on your own. If had been a boy, you would have realized what was going on weeks ago. Probably even would have demanded to know why he hadn't tried courting you yet if he so clearly had interest.
Part of you indeed wondered why Alicent had not tried to court you, but then you thought back to what Jeyne had said. How all women were taught that the man had to make the first move and how even women attracted to other women would be more likely to pine away rather than make the first move themselves.
Which meant if either of you were ever going to talk about this, you had to be the one to start it.
You felt anxious as you sat in your apartment within the Red Keep, waiting for your handmaiden to arrive. You liked Alicent. Whatever your frustrations with her refusing to talk to you for two years, she was still your best friend. The only friend you've ever had.
And you couldn't deny you returned some of her affection. She was pretty and with nice, long hair and big brown eyes. Who wouldn't be tempted by a girl like that? More than that, you realized you liked the way she looked at you. You liked how embarrassed she got when you showed off how strong you've become. You enjoyed her attention a great deal.
And while her borderline obsession with duty could make her frustrating to deal with at times, it did rather appeal to certain dreams of yours. After all, what was a true knight without a proper lady to fight for?
Of course, her being a proper lady made this all very complicated. You'd long since given up on trying to be a proper lady, so while you knew most of what was expected of you as a lady and a princess, you weren't sure what the particulars were. That said, you were pretty sure proper ladies didn't go around kissing other ladies. You'd been able to work with Alicent's clear focus on duty before, but would it be that simple this time?
She entered the room, putting an end to your pondering.
Your breath caught in your throat as she closed the door. You knew, one way or another, you were going to have to have handled this before it opened again. A lot could change between you in a very short amount of time. For better or worse.
"Rhaenyra," she took a step back, surprised to find you sitting there, looking at her expectantly. "Is something the matter?"
"No, no. Everything's fine," you assured her as you stood up. "There's just something we need to talk about."
"Are you alright? This seems quite serious." Alicent could clearly sense your nervous tension.
"It's not. Well-" You paused for a moment- "It might be serious. I don't know."
"Maybe you should sit." You offered a chair, the both of you awkwardly starring at each other for a moment. "Or, maybe we should both stand."
You took a deep breath and steadied yourself. Somehow this was proving more terrifying than fighting on horseback.
"I've seen how you look at me, Alicent," you said as you stared into her eyes. "I know you've been watching me for a while now, particularly when I practice, and I think I'm beginning to understand why."
You could see a hint of the familiar red appearing in Alicent's cheeks as she grew tense.
"I don't know what you mean," Alicent grew defensive. "The only reason I watched you is because of the novelty. I'd never seen a woman fight before."
You folded your arms and raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"You watched me for over two years," you replied. "The novelty surely could not have lasted that long."
"I...well, it's not that simple," Alicent sputtered as she stared at the floor. "I was also frustrated with you because I thought you were just defying the rules for the fun of it. I was hoping to make you angry. I do apologize for that."
"You thought starring at me for two years would make me angry?" you questioned.
"And it's not just that," you pressed. "You're not good hiding your reactions when I show off."
You flexed your arm to demonstrate, the red in her face growing deeper as she stared.
"Rhaenyra, I don't understand what you're saying," Alicent said, trying to pretend her face wasn't various shades of red at the moment. "What are you getting at?"
"I know, Alicent," you said softly and gently. "I know you hold a great deal of affection for me."
"Well of course," Alicent said with a bewildered expression. "You're my friend. Why wouldn't I?"
"No. Not like that," you help up your hand. "Not just that kind of affection."
For a brief moment, Alicent looked at you with an expression of pure terror.
"That's nonsense," she said defensively. "Did Jeyne Arryn tell you I did? You have to know that's slander. You shouldn't believe the things she says about other ladies. You know the rumors about her."
"I never talked about you with Jeyne," you told her sincerely, "and I would never believe rumors from people who didn't know you."
"Well then, I don't know where you are getting these strange notions." Alicent's tone wasn't angry but it was stern. "You may be the kind of woman who likes to dance with other women, but that's not me."
"Do you know what happened after the dance?" you asked. "Your brother asked to speak to me, and when we did he all but accused me of dancing with Jeyne just to make you jealous."
"What?" Alicent was aghast. "Why would he think that would make me jealous?"
"Because he can tell," your voice was warm as you smiled. "He says you often speak of me fondly to both him and your father, even when we were fighting. He said even with the little time you spent together, how you felt was obvious to him."
"That's absurd!" Alicent said, growing even more defensive.
"Alicent," your voice was soft as you approached. "I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm not mad. I just want us to be honest with each other."
Your words seemed to break a dam that had been building inside her.
"You don't understand how difficult it is!" she exclaimed. "I never wanted these feelings, but I see you out there, covered in sweat and bruises and yet still somehow looking so
pretty and I feel like I can barely compose myself."
"I'm sorry," you found yourself taken aback, unsure what to say. "I never realized my training would have that kind of effect on you."
You knew your training attracted attention, but never anything as intense as what you were seeing from Alicent.
"That's the worst part, you're not even trying!" Alicent said as she began to paces. "You're just out there, being true to yourself. And without you even realizing it you're wrapping me around your finger, filling my head with impure thoughts!"
You found yourself unsure of how to react. You had expected a reaction, but not like this. You found yourself almost overwhelmed by what you were seeing.
"And then you want to be friends again. And that's wonderful!" Alicent went on. "And I think I can move past these feelings now that we're speaking again, but I can't! My thoughts keep turning to your muscles and your pretty face. It's not fair! How can you have both?!"
"So, you have a lot of thoughts," you said, trying your best to calm things down. "A lot of powerful thoughts it seems. That's fine. You shouldn't keep them inside like this."
She definitely couldn't keep these kind of feelings bottled up. Alicent seemed like she was about to burst. You wanted to comfort her, but how? How could you do that without making things worse?
"Yes, it is," Alicent replied, tears in her eyes. "Women aren't supposed to feel this way. My mother told me it was wrong to feel this way about other women. That it was sinful."
"It's not sinful," you assured her. "It's just who you are. It's part of you just like my own strength and sense of duty is a part of me."
You placed an hand on her shoulder, trying to calm down your friend.
When you did, she reacted instantly, grabbed your head with both hands and moving closer, her lips touching yours.
Your first kiss.
Heat welled up inside your chest as you stood there, shock holding you in place.
It was a great kiss, though you had nothing to compare it to. Her hands felt so soft against your face.
A moment later, Alicent's eyes opened up, wide with surprise as she hurriedly broke the kiss.
"Oh no," she was in disbelief over her own actions.
The two of you stared at each other. You realized your next actions could ruin your friendship forever or start something
more.
You couldn't deny you felt the same desire she clearly felt, but the thought of losing her as a friend terrified you.
Whatever you were going to do, you had to do it quickly.
How Do You React?
[] Embrace your feelings completely and kiss her back.
[] Kiss her on the cheek and offer to take things slow.
[] Kiss her on the hand, offer to be the Knight to her Lady.
[] Let her down gently, tell her you don't want this but do want to be friends.
[] Write-in (subject to QM Approval)
QM's Note: Oh boy, few updates have made me so nervous to write as this one has. I really hope you enjoyed this. The results from Part I will be in the Interlude. I figured this moment needed it's own update. Please behave, do not get into shipping wars.