Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: XXI

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)
1D100 = 6+20 => 26 ( :jackiechan: How?! Why?!)
1D100 = 21-15-10-5+10+5 => 6 ( :jackiechan: If you had gotten a Crit Fail here, I swear again–)
1D100 = Nat! 95+10+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 105 ( :jackiechan: This was not part of the plan!! How the heck–)
1D100 = Nat! 100+20+15+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 135 ( :jackiechan: Dilliam Wuke's having a stronk... call a Dukulance... :facepalm: )
87+15+15+30-20-10 =Art!Crit! 117 ( :jackiechan: Da heck?!)
1D100 = 85+15+30-10 => Art!Crit! 120 ( :jackiechan: What is this rollercoaster nonsense?!)
1D100 = 19+10+10+5 => 44 (Whu–?! :jackiechan: )
3D2000 = 1996+1984+855 => 4835 ( :jackiechan: Really?!)
1D100 = Nat!100+20+10+5+5+5 => Nat!Crit! 145 ( :jackiechan: Not again... Not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = 87+10 => Art!Crit! 97 ( :jackiechan: No no no no no no... Wait wait wait wait... WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT)
1D100 = Nat! 1+10-10 => Nat!Fail! 1 ( :jackiechan: The hell?!)
1D100 = Nat! 5+10-10-5 => Nat!Fail! 0 ( :jackiechan: Not again, not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat! 98+10+5 => Nat!Crit! 113 (Oh, for– :jackiechan: )
1D100 = 91-5+5 => Art!Crit! 96 ( :jackiechan: Why are my dice like this?)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: XIX

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)
1D100 = Nat! 99+10+5 => Nat! Crit! 114 ( :facepalm: Of course, why wouldn't this happen?)
1D100 = 94+15+10+5 => Art!Crit! 129 ( :facepalm: If you had gotten a Nat Crit, I swear...)
1D100 = Nat! 100+20+15+10-10 => Nat!Crit! 135 ( :jackiechan: Dilliam Wuke's having a stronk... call a Dukulance... :facepalm: )
1D100 = 27-5-15-15-30+20+25 => 7 ( :facepalm: Well, at least it's not a crit fail...)
...Why do I do this to myself? :facepalm:
1D100 = 93+10+5 => Art!Crit! 108 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = 89+10 => Art!Crit! 99 (Of course... :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat!100+20+10+5+5+5 => Nat!Crit! 145 ( :jackiechan: Not again... Not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = Nat!100+20 => (Autopass!) Nat!Crit! 120 ( :facepalm: If you'll all excuse me for one sec...)
1D100 = Nat! 5+10-10-5 => Nat!Fail! 0 ( :jackiechan: Not again, not again!! :facepalm: )
1D100 = 19-10-10+10 = 9 ( :facepalm: Of course, what else would I expect?)
1D100 = Nat! 95-10-5+10 => Nat!Crit! 90 ( :facepalm: Bipolar dice much?)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
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What'd make sense would've been Deceitful, as we can say with the reasoning that our Abolitionist learned to do so in order to persuade/confuse opponents (and future business rivals) to take advantage of the situation as a Merchant.
Oh that's a good point, wish I'd thought of that. If your plan wasn't already winning I'd probably switch my vote.
 
Voting Closed
I've decided to close the vote early, given the lack of new votes. Expect the next update tomorrow morning on CST time. :)

Adhoc vote count started by Duke William of on May 11, 2024 at 8:35 PM, finished with 21 posts and 17 votes.

  • [X] Plan: Merchant Roots
    - [X] Arrangement of Stats
    -- [X] Martial: 10
    -- [X] Diplomacy: 17
    -- [X] Stewardship: 18
    --[X] Intrigue: 12
    --[X] Learning: 13
    -- [X] Prowess: 2
    - [X] Diligent – You are a hard worker and make what work you do count. (+1 for all Stats, +1 Action per turn)
    - [X] Calm – You are slow to anger and able to keep your cool. (+2 Diplomacy, +2 Learning)
    -[X] Deceitful – No one can ever accuse you of being honest. (+3 Intrigue, +1 Prowess, -3 Diplomacy)
    -[X] Social Manipulation: You are skilled at convincing people, be they single persons or multiple masses, to your point of view. Be it through honest means or deceitful half-truths.
    - [X] Political Theory (Liberalism): You believe in liberal policies and are able and willing to argue for and convince others of their Merit.
    - [X] Macro-Economics: You are well-trained in the large-scale aspects of a nation's economy and economic health.
    - [X] Bunker Hill – Boston is under siege by the British navy, with thousands of Redcoats landing on the Charlestown Peninsula. A thousand-strong American force under Colonel William Prescott moved to counter this by fortifying Breed's Hill just a short distance from Bunker Hill. An attack was inevitable, and both sides prepared for the fight ahead. Behind a hastily-crafted earthwork, you waited with them.
    [x] plan merchants nightmare
    - [X] Arrangement of Stats
    -- [X] Martial: 10
    -- [X] Diplomacy: 17
    -- [X] Stewardship: 18
    --[X] Intrigue: 12
    --[X] Learning: 13
    -- [X] Prowess: 2
    - [x] virtues
    -- [x] Calm – You are slow to anger and able to keep your cool. (+2 Diplomacy, +2 Learning)
    -- [x] Diligent – You are a hard worker and make what work you do count. (+1 for all Stats, +1 Action per turn)
    - [x] vice
    -- [x] Deceitful – No one can ever accuse you of being honest. (+3 Intrigue, +1 Prowess, -3 Diplomacy)
    - [x] skills (Due to previous choices, you can choose up to three Skills.
    -- [x] Advanced Polyglot: You are skilled in various languages that are not English. In the eyes of most Europeans, this is quite remarkable for a colonial bum.
    -- [x] Macro-Economics: You are well-trained in the large-scale aspects of a nation's economy and economic health.
    -- [x] Social Manipulation: You are skilled at convincing people, be they single persons or multiple masses, to your point of view. Be it through honest means or deceitful half-truths.
    - [x] story start
    -- [x] Bunker Hill – Boston is under siege by the British navy, with thousands of Redcoats landing on the Charlestown Peninsula. A thousand-strong American force under Colonel William Prescott moved to counter this by fortifying Breed's Hill just a short distance from Bunker Hill. An attack was inevitable, and both sides prepared for the fight ahead. Behind a hastily-crafted earthwork, you waited with them.
    [X] Plan: Stonks Man
    - [X] Arrangement of Stats
    -- [X] Martial: 10
    -- [X] Diplomacy: 17
    -- [X] Stewardship: 18
    -- [X] Intrigue: 13
    -- [X] Learning: 12
    -- [X] Prowess: 2
    - [X] Diligent – You are a hard worker and make what work you do count. (+1 for all Stats, +1 Action per turn)
    - [X] Calm – You are slow to anger and able to keep your cool. (+2 Diplomacy, +2 Learning)
    - [X] Craven – You run screaming at the first sign of danger. (-2 Martial and Prowess, -1 Diplomacy)
    - [X] Engineering: You are an expert engineer.
    - [X] Political Theory (Liberalism): You believe in liberal policies and are able and willing to argue for and convince others of their Merit.
    - [X] Macro-Economics: You are well-trained in the large-scale aspects of a nation's economy and economic health.
    - [X] Bunker Hill – Boston is under siege by the British navy, with thousands of Redcoats landing on the Charlestown Peninsula. A thousand-strong American force under Colonel William Prescott moved to counter this by fortifying Breed's Hill just a short distance from Bunker Hill. An attack was inevitable, and both sides prepared for the fight ahead. Behind a hastily-crafted earthwork, you waited with them.
 
What's your policy on omakes?
I encourage everyone to post omakes. :D However, if you want an omake to be canon, send it to me via PM first so that I can make sure no details conflict.

And can oc's from other quests appear?
I'm not too fond of that as I'd rather people come up with original characters for this specific quest, but I don't really mind that, per se. Don't expect omakes containing such to become canon, though.

Btw, for everyone's knowledge, canon omakes will be in Sidestory while Apocrypha contains non-canon omakes.
 
Turn I – May 1775
"... but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here."
–John Parker, Battle of Lexington

[X] Plan: Merchant Roots
-[X] Arrangement of Stats
--[X] Martial: 10
--[X] Diplomacy: 17
--[X] Stewardship: 18
--[X] Intrigue: 12
--[X] Learning: 13
--[X] Prowess: 2
Virtues
-[X] Diligent – You are a hard worker and make what work you do count. (+1 for all Stats, +1 Action per turn)
-[X] Calm – You are slow to anger and able to keep your cool. (+2 Diplomacy, +2 Learning)
Vice
-[X] Deceitful – No one can ever accuse you of being honest. (+3 Intrigue, +1 Prowess, -3 Diplomacy)
Skills
-[X] Social Manipulation: You are skilled at convincing people, be they single persons or multiple masses, to your point of view. Be it through honest means or deceitful half-truths.
-[X] Political Theory (Liberalism): You believe in liberal policies and are able and willing to argue for and convince others of their Merit.
-[X] Macro-Economics: You are well-trained in the large-scale aspects of a nation's economy and economic health.
Start
-[X] Bunker Hill – Boston is under siege by the British navy, with thousands of Redcoats landing on the Charlestown Peninsula. A thousand-strong American force under Colonel William Prescott moved to counter this by fortifying Breed's Hill just a short distance from Bunker Hill. An attack was inevitable, and both sides prepared for the fight ahead. Behind a hastily-crafted earthwork, you waited with them.



May 5, 1775
Boston, Massachusetts


An excited wind of jubilee blew in the air as the convoy trod its way through the American encampment, wagons creaking and cattle braying. Militia and civilians, men and women cheered and hollered as the convoy members waved back at them, basking in slight awe and pride at the hero's welcome they were receiving. While the supplies they had brought wouldn't realistically last all that long, their arrival made the soldiers feel like they could besiege the Redcoats until hell froze over.

And at the front of that convoy was their stalwart leader: Jonathan halbert. Sat atop a snow white stallion, he raised his hat and waved it at the cheering crowd, his face unemotionally stoic yet prideful all the same. A calm and dignified aura seemed to emanate from his countenance as he made his way to the center of the camp, where the commander of the American forces awaited him and his convoy. His grace and stature seemed more fit for a man twice his age and hair far grayer in color.

General Artemas Ward, a quiet and thoughtful expression on his face, watched as the young man brought his steed to a halt a few yards from him. Flanked on his left by Major General Israel Putnam, the gruff old soldier smoking a cigar for the fifth time that day, and flanked on his right by Colonel William Prescott, who watched the procession with a small grin, Ward turned to face Putnam and remarked, "Our young friend certainly does not lack gravitas."

"Nor' does he lack ego." Dour Old Put scoffed back as he let out a puff of cigar smoke. "The hell is this nonsense supposed to be, a Roman triumph?"

"He certainly seems as regal as Caesar from this angle." Colonel Prescott chuckled quietly, but Ward paid no heed to it as he stepped toward the young man, who had dismounted at this point and handed his stallion over to a nearby soldier.

"The Army of Observation has your dearest thanks for your patriotic actions and the supplies you bring." Ward bowed his head slightly in respect to the convoy leader, who returned the gesture. "We would wish to have your name, Mister...?"

"Jonathan Halbert, sir." The now-named young man announced in reply, his posture straightening and his eyes twinkling. "A son of Virginia and, if you would have me, the newest volunteer to join the Army of Observation. Preferably an officer."

A whirlwind of excited discussion blew through those watching nearby, hands hiding mouths as they whispered about and guessed what would happen next.

"What a goddamn peacock." Putnam muttered from behind Ward, and despite himself, the general couldn't help but agree a little with his coarse subordinate. Mr. Halbert certainly loved the attention, no matter how much he wished to seem unaffected by it.

But then again...

"I would be honored to discuss such a possibility." Ward politely smiled before gesturing to the young man to follow him. "Come, let us discuss matters over a cup of tea."



It is May 11, 1775. Jonathan is currently on the outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts, which is currently being besieged by the Army of Observation.

Jonathan is a captain in the Army of Observation and is paid twenty dollars per month, the standard wage of his rank.

His current assets are as follows...

–1,500 Continental Dollars

–A wagon that holds your personal belongings. Whatever those might be.

–An officer's sword and uniform, as well as a pistol.




You have six Actions this Turn. Use them wisely.

Special Actions


[] Fending Off Foraging Forays: The Redcoats have been sending out foraging parties in order to retrieve supplies. We should head out to greet these parties... with the barrel ends of muskets.

[] Press Release: There are some young journalists from the Pennsylvania Gazette who seek to interview you. A good chance to regale them of your deeds and life, if you say so yourself.

Martial

[] Request Command of a Battalion: While you are an officer, it doesn't really mean much if you're not in charge of anything. See if you can convince General Ward to give you a battalion to lead.

[] Read Up on Military Stratagy: While you are competent at military affairs, it wouldn't hurt to sharpen your skills.

[] Drill with the Men: While you aren't in charge of any men, you can still march with them during training exercises.

Diplomacy

[] Trench Talk: If you're going to lead men into battle, it would be best for you to gain their trust.

[] Social Slithering: You want to talk with your fellow officers and get into their good graces.

[] Head into Boston... Not in Disguise: The American and British leadership have come to an unofficial agreement regarding entry into Boston. While it would require you to leave your weapons behind, there shouldn't be any real risk to the endeavor, and you might even found out some useful information. Probably.

[] Here Comes the General: General Ward wishes to get a better measure of you and your character, as well as discuss the matter of your joining the army.

[] Try to Write Something: You want to write something for the world to read. Whether it be for yourself or to help your cause, you just wish to write it.
-[] Write in what you would like to write.

Stewardship

[] Requisition Ammunition and Weapons: The men are enthusiastic and eager to get at the Redcoats, but they'll need more than guts in order to beat them back. See if you can get them some tools of death to use.
-[] Write in how much money you wish to spend.
-[] Write in what kind of weapons and requisite ammunition you wish to purchase.

[] Requisition Supplies: Though the supply situation has been helped thanks to your arrival, you can always do more to improve it.
-[] Write in how much money you wish to spend.
[] Write in what kind of supplies you wish to purchase.

[] Ask to Look Over the Supplies: A man of trade and money, you know the importance of proper storage of goods and that things must be made accountable and proper.

[] A Way of Payment: The militiamen are only here for two reasons; money and righteous anger. Righteous anger will fade soon enough, and soon their desire for some form of wealth will take hold.
-[] Write in how much money you wish to spend.

[] Check your Stocks: A good merchant, even one that is joining a battle, always travels with his stores of whatever he wants to sell. Maybe there's something in the carts that could help. Hopefully.

[] Check your Ledgers: If you're going to be in this revolution for a long haul, you might as well try to get your finances in order.

Intrigue

[] Head into Boston... in Disguise: You want to know more about the situation in Boston, as well as possibly find out out what the Redcoats are up to. You'll sneak into the city yourself.

[] Send Men into Boston... in Disguise: You want to know more about the situation in Boston, as well as possibly find out out what the Redcoats are up to. You'll send a few men to sneak into the city.

[] Scout Out British Positions: The British have set up forts on the hills just around Boston. Perhaps you could head out and... appreciate the magnificent architecture.

Learning

[] An Issue to Resolve: There is always something that the faculty needs to resolve. But you… have the power to potentially resolve that something. So saddle forth and do something about it. (This will lead to the creation of other options.)

[] Learn a New Skill: You want to expand your skillset amd broaden your knowledge.
-[] Write in what skill you wish to learn. (Subject to QM Approval.)

Prowess

[] Exercise: If you're going to fight in this Revolution, you are going to need to shape up and work your body. Right now.

[] Train with Weapons: If you're going to fight in this Revolution, it would be wise for you to learn how to actually use a weapon.
-[] Write in which weapon you want to train with.

Personal

[] Focus on an Action: You want to make sure you accomplish this task well. (Applies a +10 Bonus to any action of your choice.)
-[] Write in which Action you wish to apply the bonus to.

[] Pray: You're not the most religious man, but a talk with God wouldn't hurt.

[] Write to your Family: Perhaps it would be best to inform your family about your inpromptu activities, lest they find out some other way.



Author's Notes:

And here comes the first Turn of the quest. :D Have a thirty minute moratorium to discuss what you should vote for.

Revolutionary Fun Fact–Israel Putnam is purported to have introduced Cuban tobacco to the United States. Specifically, to Connecticut. When the British launched a disastrous expedition to take over the Spanish-controlled island of Cuba, Israel, a soldier of the expeditoon and one of the few survivors of a shipwreck off the coast of Cuba, supposedly brought back with him Cuban tobacco seeds.

Also, big thanks to @Cyberphilosipher for helping me with this quest.
 
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in my defense, I was asleep.

[X]Plan: There Will Be a War, but We Need to Be Prepared for the Long One:
-[X] Fending Off Foraging Forays: The Redcoats have been sending out foraging parties in order to retrieve supplies. We should head out to greet these parties... with the barrel ends of muskets.
-[X] Press Release: There are some young journalists from the Pennsylvania Gazette who seek to interview you. A good chance to regale them of your deeds and life, if you say so yourself.
-[X] Read Up on Military Strategy: While you are competent at military affairs, it wouldn't hurt to sharpen your skills.
-[X] Drill with the Men: While you aren't in charge of any men, you can still march with them during training exercises.
-[X] Check your Stocks: A good merchant, even one that is joining a battle, always travels with his stores of whatever he wants to sell. Maybe there's something in the carts that could help. Hopefully.
-[X] Check your Ledgers: If you're going to be in this revolution for a long haul, you might as well try to get your finances in order.

My Reasoning is as Followed:

1. Howes Position for supplies are very much tied to the Royal Navy, and what he can do currently with his forces on the ground. And staying in Boston has left him with very limited options. We have Boston under siege with Reinforcements from Rhode Island and other northern colonies riding up with Washington, though they will not be prepared. Our siege means little when his men still have free reign over the countryside to conduct operations. Make it too difficult for him to conduct his raids, and make him rely on the Royal Navy more for supplies, then we can wait until Washington shows up and take command, where we can make our move. It will also help with lowering his morale.

2. Press Release: Old B Franks can spin a tale as good as the rest, but I think we can win prestige so that we can rise in the ranks, as long as we prove competent.

3. We are not competent, and we need to keep things in order. So, might as well look into the past to keep our things in order.

4. Drill: THe continental army and militia are lacking in supplies and professionalism. Supplies are always going to be an issue, but if we can semi-professionalize the men under our command, we can form the corp of the future continental army, before Baron Von Steuben and the Winter at Valley Forge. they may hate it, but it will save their lives.

5. Stocks: Might as well make sure we have an income, instead of relying on congress. and supplies.

6. Same as above.

As for why I'm not paying the men, or getting them weapons or ammo. There is little point as the Continental army is not formed, and unless we are willing to pay for everything, and everyone, we will quickly be out of cash and then they will disperse.
 
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