You hear a knocking on your door. Glancing through the peephole, you find Ms. Nekonome, who looks quite anxious -- dare you say, even embarrassed.
What the hell could she want?
Unbolting the door with a mindset somewhere between interest and annoyance -- you can seldom think of a good reason for a teacher to come find you at your dorm, and Ms. Nekonome isn't even your homeroom teacher at that -- you open it to find...
....well.
The catgirl -- or rather catwoman -- teacher is wearing a maid uniform.
Morioka, that pathetic lech, would probably call this the best day of his life.
....
....
....
....you've never, once in your life, seriously given too much thought to any kind of theology. But a part of your subconscious mind is actively and deliberately praying that there's a good explanation for this.
More than a few sarcastic remarks come to mind... but on seeing how uncomfortable the poor woman seems to be, you instead choose to take pity on her. The sooner you cut to the heart of the matter, the sooner either or both of you can go back to a normal day and do literally anything else.
"What do you want?"
The World History teacher's eyes remain shut, and you can't think of a single instance where you've ever seen them open. Is she blind? Or does she just think it makes her look cooler or something? As a catwoman, it wouldn't surprise you too much if her smell and hearing do her well enough to get by...
"W-well," she explains, "the Newspaper Club is under attack from a Super Newspaper Club that just got approved by the school yesterday."
That's the dumbest thing you've heard since Keito earned herself a concussion. Worse still, it doesn't actually explain anything.
"And?"
You don't know why Nekonome flinched just then, but given that the uniform seems a little tight in some places, you assume that some part of it is discomforting her.
"Meowll," the teacher whines while absently licking at the back of her wrist, "the school isn't going to support both Newspapers for very long, so the one with fewer subscriptions will get canceled."
...okay, so that would mean -- "The getup is a publicity stunt, then?"
Nekonome deflates at your observation, her remaining dignity having utterly abandoned her. "Kurumu and Yukari said that as the Club's faculty advisor I had to help them out by advertising door-to-door, and since all my paperwork was caught up I couldn't think of a good enough reason to turn them down, so..."
"-- so the maid uniform isn't you making a move on my man, then," Mizore says from the next floor above you. Swinging down over the guardrail and landing gracefully at your side, she then reaches up to offer the beleaguered teacher a pat on the shoulder. "Good," she says with a smile. "I'd hate to have to get rid of you," she whispers too softly for Jotaro to hear. Nekonome shivers briefly, and then tries to suppress it.
So. There's a so-called Super Newspaper Club attacking the Newspaper Club, and while your underclassmen haven't come anywhere near you yet as far as you can tell, their problems have still found their way to your doorstep.
....looking back on prior history involving the gang, this probably qualifies as a trend.
"Is there even a difference between the two Newspapers?"
Nekonome, evidently pleased to have the discussion move away from her maid costume, straightens up and finally starts to actually carry herself like a teacher. "Not really," she admits. "From what I could tell after I confiscated a copy of their paper, the content is actually a bit dumbed-down compared to our Youkai Gazette. And while that could account for some students preferring it over ours, I'm pretty sure the real difference is just that the girls peddling Youkai Square are using their sex appeal a lot more readily and liberally. And since the student body is skewed toward boys...."
The Catwoman just shrugs, as if proclaiming the matter to be some great and transcendental force beyond her ability to affect.
Well, you have noticed that a disproportionate plurality of students in this school are shallow and quite vocal perverts, so in a lot of ways that isn't terribly surprising...
Still, as a Reliable SenpaiTM whom your underclassmen have come to depend on, you suppose you have at least a minor obligation to offer your aid in their hour of need.
Particularly since they're also your friends and they've never shied away from helping you on the occasion you've ever needed or wanted it.
[]It's a little early to start cracking skulls, but if that's what the situation calls for....
[]Go out and get some more information, with the intent to publicly and visibly show your support for the true Newspaper Club.
[]Get a subscription from Ms. Nekonome. That should be enough, right?. (coward! wuss! shitty friend! you know better than that!)