(continued from before)
Soundtrack
"I gotcha, sir."
Kessler slurs something in response, which Jessica assumes means "Cool, I'mma go sleep now." She's fluent in the language of Drunk, a language commonly spoken by US Marines on Friday nights, and this isn't the first wasted buddy she's hauled home after a long night spent partying. Then again, most of her former buddies didn't weigh over 400 pounds.
Even now, six months out from the Iteration X chop-shops, she isn't used to her new body. It isn't the changes in her features, or the looks she gets from bystanders - she's used to being one of the few available hunks of female-shaped flesh surrounded by a hundred testosterone-fueled young men, after all. Compared to
that kind of pressure, the occasional sidelong glance doesn't faze her. (and knowing that you could crush an unreinforced skull with your pinky does wonders for one's self-confidence)
No, it's the little things that keep her on edge. Things like, say, the fact that she's easily shouldering the weight of a four-hundred pound cyborg over one shoulder as she walks back to the amalgam's shared quarters. Some part of her, the same part which had gotten her into exercise to pass the time out in Afghanistan, still screams that what she's doing is flat-out impossible. It's things like crushing a table when she stumbles, ripping a ring to shreds just by flexing her fingers, the constant sensor input that she keeps muted most of the time to avoid overwhelming her. She'll get used to it all in time, the Biomechanics say. Sometimes she believes them.
"Arright, arright," John slurs, carefully pushing himself off her shoulder. Shaking his head, Jessica lets the old exojock straighten himself up, brushing dirt off his back from the alley where he'd first stumbled. She was terrified when she'd first learned that she'd been assigned to an amalgam under investigation by a grand tribunal, and even more so to find that she'd be the backup team for
John Motherfucking Kessler, of all people. All she'd done was to stand up and fight once by accident, yet here she was expected to head the bail-out team in case SSgt Kessler ran into something
he couldn't beat?
Then again, just like what she'd thought of Afghanistan and the Marines before she'd gotten there, imagination and legends had a tendency to run afoul of reality. It's hard to keep that same kind of wide-eyed awe of someone when you're helping them out of the dumpster they've accidently broken, after all. She wonders about Kessler as the exojock in question slowly falls back to reality, about what made him accept augmentations a couple times more obvious than hers. She could pass for a professional volleyball player in a pinch, but anyone who looked at John and
didn't think "Terminator!" obviously needed to catch up on their movie references - that, or get their eyes checked.
"Hey, Hughes," Kessler says quietly, dragging Jessica from her thoughts, "Thanks fer everything. Sorry fer draggin' ya out here this long."
"It's not a problem, sir," she answers honestly. "HITMarks aren't good conversationalists, unfortunately, and I don't really know anyone else in the Geofront."
Kessler nods, sighing. "Ta tell you the truth, Hughes, me neither. 'S a helluva shock seeing Mai like that; girl used to be as tall as me, and now she barely comes up to my waist. Betcha she can barely even bench-press her own weight now!"
Jessica stares at the hulking exojock for a moment, before the absurdity of the situation truly kicks in, and she bursts out laughing. Kessler joins in a moment later, and the two of them slowly collapse to the sidewalk on the busy street; the security HITMarks barely even paying attention as the two cyborgs recover their wits. (she'd had plenty to drink too, after all - a Marine, even a former one, just didn't turn down free beer) The feeling of intoxication was an artificial one in beings that didn't have biological guts, something that they could both turn off if they wanted, but neither cyborg really cared to sober up.
"Hey, Hughes. Been meanin' ta ask, but couldn't find the words for it," Kessler begins uncertainly, and Jessica glances over to meet the exojock's artificial eyes. "Yer time in Afghanistan; I'm guessin' you weren't front-line infantry, right? Did something happen ta Enlighten ya out there?"
Jessica sighs as the memories she'd tried to suppress with booze bubble back to the surface. "Yeah. I got deployed to Afghanistan to drive trucks, sir. 'S kinda funny saying that, what with your combat record and all, but I've seen combat exactly once my whole life." (
and I never want to see it again, a traitorous mental voice whispers) She looks over at Kessler, expecting to see contempt at her being a noncombatant, but there's nothing but admiration in his eyes.
"Convoy duty? In
Afghanistan?" Kessler says, whistling. "The whole damn country's a prime ambush site. I'm surprised you didn't all get shot ta bits by the Commies - 'scuse me, the
terrorists."
"Heh, it wasn't that bad most of the time," the former Marine says with a laugh, pulling a holdout knife from her pocket and twirling it on her finger. "We were usually pretty bored, driving from Point A to Point B or sitting around on our asses in the FOB, and it only got scary a couple times. Then, well..." she trails off, her concentration slipping, and the knife falls to gash her knuckle.
"Bad dreams?" John asks, with eyes that've clearly seen more than a few themselves.
"Yeah," Jessica chokes out past the lump in her throat. "Don't get me wrong, sir, I'm combat-ready here. During the day, it's nothing I can't handle. It's just...sir, we got ambushed in the evening. We held 'em off four hours, with air support running enough sorties to turn the nearby mountains to pebbles, but they just kept coming." She swallows, her throat suddenly dry. "And then the night came, and the choppers got ordered away, and then
they showed up. The official story has it that I got hit with an RPG, but truth is, I tried to hug a grenade. Those things, what they were doing to us, well - when you see your buddy turned into a goddamn meat-puppet, death doesn't seem so scary at that point."
Kessler nods somberly, and Jessica knows instinctively that he's felt that same kind of pain. "Hey, Hughes?" he says softly. "Ya gotta believe in yerself, darlin'. You think yer beat-up after somethin' like that, ya think yer green and new ta all this - well, that might be true. But truth is, yer still here. Ya saw stuff that'd break most people, the kinda thing that'd get yer average type livin' in a padded room, but here you are, ready fer Round 2. Way I see it, that's the only kinda strength that really matters."
Jessica nods choppily. "Thanks, sir. That means a lot."
Kessler shrugs. "Hey, I'm just the beat-up old fogie over here. Don't take me too seriously," he says with a grin.
"Wouldn't dream of it, sir," she answers, and the two Technocratic cyborgs struggle to their feet together. Slowly padding towards the amalgam's temporary home, Jessica looks up at the stars above. They're artificial, she knows - even if they weren't underground, London was far too polluted and naturally cloudy to catch much a glimpse of the night sky - but she can still enjoy the view. "Sir, what do you do on a night like tonight?"
"When I can't sleep?" Kessler responds, correctly guessing what she was meaning. "Used ta sit around wit' my guns, poking 'em at every rock what looked scary. Other times, would turn up some music on internal speakers and would blast it 'till I couldn't hear myself think." He laughs quietly at himself. "Wouldn't recommend that, though."
Jessica thinks back, past the pills and the hypnotherapy sessions that never stopped the nightmares, back to Afghanistan before That Day and everything that'd happened since. "I can think of a better way to pass the time, sir."
-----
"Yep."
"Hmm?" It's a struggle for Jessica to open her eyes, but she slowly wakes up enough to look around at the darkened common room. (she still hasn't gotten the hang of the low-light vision settings) The two cyborgs are stretched across different reinforced couches, a table between them piled high with several pizza boxes, and a 3-D television showing
Terminator 2 off to the side.
"Yer right," Kessler drawls as he reclines on the couch, dangling a slice of pizza above his mouth. "This beats psychotherapy any goddamn day."
Jessica grins and throws him a thumbs-up, before digging her head into the carbon-nanoweave pillow. She didn't mind an empty bed, but she hated an empty room. She'd gotten used to the constant murmur of a base of Marines, of the tromp of boots in and out, of arguments about whose celebrities' tits were better leading to full-on wrestling matches in the middle of the floor. It was chaos, pure and undiluted, and for her it meant safety, because she knew and trusted the same idiots currently tussling over who got the pudding they'd smuggled from the base's mess hall. She missed having comrades, a
family, to live and work and struggle with; HITMarks didn't even come close.
Jessica Hughes falls asleep to the sound of John Kessler noisily eating pizza and watching
Terminator 2.
For once, she sleeps through the night.