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Phase 11: Party crashers
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Part 5
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Issabelle's Diner
Puente Antiguo
New Mexico
"Hogun! My friends!" Thor's voice thundered as he appeared from the diner. "What are you doing here!?" He exclaimed in genuine surprise.
"We are here to bring you back!" Proclaimed a tall man with short, shaggy blond hair. He wore forest green armored clothes not too dissimilar to Jedi Knight's armored robes from the Cold War era.
"Bring me home?! My friends, unless Father has changed his mind about my exile, I am not going home soon!"
"What do you mean?! Wasn't Loki who exiled you after he became regent while the AllFather sleeps?!" The raven-haired woman narrowed her eyes at Thor. There was genuine confusion in her voice, matched by the jumbled emotions she felt – relief, worry, and acute surprise.
"Loki!? This is not one of his pranks! It was Father who banished me until I proved myself worthy!" Thor shook his head.
"But you did nothing wrong!" The last of the group rumbled in bafflement. He was almost as tall and much broader than Thor, but not at the shoulders. The man looked like he stepped out of a Hollywood poster about a Viking saga.
"Did we not? I've had some time to think, and conversing with Lord Stark here put our actions into perspective," Thor countered.
"Should we be arresting them all for trespassing or something?" One of the SHIELD agents asked just loud enough to be heard. I could hear Coulson curse when everyone turned to look their way.
"Boys, we landed into the middle of something here, literally at that." The female warrior pointed out the obvious.
"Politics, my Lady Sif. There's no escaping them, no matter which of the Nine Realms we are on," Thor sounded a touch bitter as he said that.
"Does they involve us? We smash faces in, not deal with politics!" The stereotypical, according to Hollywood, Viking grumbled.
"I'm afraid so, Volstagg. Lord Stark, these are my good friends, the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. My friends, this is Lord Tony Stark, who is in charge of dealing with visitors from other realms in this part of Midgard. However, some among the locals want to dispute that fact," Thor nodded at the SHIELD agents.
"Who is friendly, who is neutral, and who needs their heads smashed?" Volstagg patted a large double-headed ax he carried over his shoulder.
"Hopefully, sanity will prevail, and no one will need their head smashed in," I deadpanned at them all.
"This is your realm, Lord Stark, your people. I am content to let you deal with them," Thor smiled bitterly. "I'm trying my best to think before acting as I must."
"That's usually a good first step," I nodded and looked at Coulson. "Mr. Secret Agent, what will it be? If I was a less well-adjusted individual, or if I had a grudge against your agency, I might be content to let you try to take these four into custody to see what happens."
Volstagg beamed at this as if I was his new best friend, while the other two looked between me, Thor, and Coulson, wondering what the fuck was happening. Lady Sif gave Thor a long, suffered look as if this was all his fault, which was true, discounting the SHIELD complication.
"You are not that much of an ass, Mr. Stark," Coulson gave me his best disarming smile.
"My patience is also running thin," I noted. "Coulson, what is your endgame looking like here? You are disrupting a diplomatic meeting. I am sure you can imagine the worst-case scenario here."
"I can. I don't know if the people who authorized this can. It's either that, or they're ready to take the risk anyway. You know I am the reasonable option, Mr. Stark."
"What does the unreasonable one look like? Would they open fire on US military unit seconded under SWORD's command? Will they risk starting a war with an alien nation due to internal politics?"
"Was that how us going to Jotunheim looks from the outside, Lord Stark?" Thor interjected.
"It looks worse. You are the Crown Prince, Thor. You were expected to know better. I can't say the same for the idiots who sent Mr. Secret Agent Man to us and thought this was a good idea."
My phone began to vibrate. I thought about ignoring it. Yet anything that might buy us time to de-escalate and find a rational solution to this idiocy was worth trying. I pulled it out and unlocked it.
"Yes?"
"Tony, please give the phone to that young man you keep irritating for no good reason," Pamela Hawley's irritated voice sounded in my ear. "And good work at proving me and my compatriots right."
"It's for you, Mr. Secret Agent Man," I waved my phone at Coulson and slowly walked to him, offering it.
He looked at the device with a hint of amusement. His emotions betrayed how he felt – Coulson was even less happy than me to be put in such a situation.
"Agent Coulson. Who is this? Yes, Ma'am, I recognize your voice. Yes, your identification checks out. The best I can do is enter a waiting pattern until the Oversight Council and the Director straighten out my orders, Ma'am. Thank you, Councilor!"
He gave me back the phone. I was reasonably sure Coulson was stretching the truth a bit and that someone else in his shoes might have ignored Hawley.
"We now have conflicting orders and will wait and observe until the Director makes up his mind. Stand down, folks!" Coulson waved at the SHIELD Agents and went back to his phone.
More than a few of them looked ready for a fight. Yet, one after another, they lowered their weapons until the last die-hards decided that starting trouble under these circumstances might be an excellent way to commit suicide.
"Talking worked? It never works for us!" Fandral looked incredulously at me. "Who is this man, Thor? His silver tongue works better than Loki's, and your brother is well known as the Liesmith!"
"That might have something to do with why people often try to kill us," Lady Sif pointed out.
"Your brother is a known liar, and you people wonder why no one listens to him? Did I get that right?" It was my turn to look incredulous.
Thor and his buddies looked at each other, then nodded in as one.
"Oh, people listen to Loki, especially when they shouldn't. It's when doing so would do anyone some good they don't," Lady Sif explained.
How did you get here? I don't think you got permission from my father?" Thor inquired.
The newcomers looked at each other, and the sense of guilt and determination radiating from them was thick.
"We might have spoken with Heimdall, who very conveniently had to briefly leave the Bifrost control station," Lady Sif had the good grace to look embarrassed.
"Back in my days as a ruler, that would be considered borderline treason at best," I noted.
"My father might agree. What have you done, my friends?" Thor groaned.
I wondered who was the worst influence upon whom in this little group.
Before I could get any more answers, the other shoe dropped. The air tingled, and the sky darkened again.
"I think Loki might have found out what Heimdall allowed to happen," Hogun grimaced. "If it was Kind Odin who sent you here in exile, my friend, that changes our situation."
"I'll take full responsibility!" Thor declared.
"I don't think Loki or the King, when he awakes, will agree," Fandral muttered.
A stream of energy ruptured the heavens, this time striking just outside town. More lightning and thunder followed before the sky began to clear up slowly.
"Captain Elis, do we have eyes on what just landed?"
"One-Five is looking at a… metal giant? It's some robot, apparently," Elis sounded like he could hardly believe his words.
"Big, spiky thing with large squares in the helmet where the eyes would be?" Lady Sif asked worriedly.
Elis repeated the question and got an affirmative answer.
"That's the Destroyer! It's one of the most dangerous creations merging magic and technology Odin ever built! It is supposed to protect the Palace's vaults!" Thor elaborated.
"It is also under the control of whoever wields Gungnir. That's Loki right now, Thor," Hogun pointed out.
"How sure are you that your brother wouldn't walk over your corpse to take and keep the throne, Prince Thor?" I asked in a voice that felt much calmer than I felt. So much for peaceful first contact.
"There is only one reason Loki would send that thing here, Thor!" Lady Sif agreed.
"Captain, get this city evacuated; we've got hostile incoming. Contingency Black Two is now in effect. We have a hostile alien incursion in progress."
A weird sound echoed over from the outskirts of the town, followed by an explosion.
"That thing just opened fire on our observers with a heat ray!" Elis exclaimed.
Yeah, that was the other shoe-dropping, alright.
