One On One With Red
- Location
- Ottawa
- Pronouns
- She/Her/Whatever
"How the hell can you heal us when you barely even know what a human is?" you asked.
"Ha! It would not do to have hosts die on us prematurely. We can read your genetic information, your body deviates signifigantly from what it should be. Damage and poisoning." he replied, "The arm, obviously, but also your hormone levels and repro-"
"That's not damage," you snapped.
"Ah, you did it on purpose. Interesting. Not optimal from an evolutionary standpoint, but that damage is relatively minor," Well, you weren't sure yet, but you were strongly considering make that damage somewhat more permanent. None of his fucking business anyway. "Oh, now I understand. Well, in that case, there's the issues with your nerves. Ah, neuroma, you have a word for it," he said, sounding strangely pleased at that. "We can reduce the pain, repair what nerves we can and sever that which we can't. Relatively painlessly."
"... Liv, I don't trust the alien blob any more than you do, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that would be an immense improvement in our quality of life."
"No shit. How much a difference are we talking?"
"I'm not sure, but I can simulate and accelerate the processes of healing your body is already capable of. It will be as though the damage is older. Ten, fifteen years."
You considered that carefully. Post-amputation chronic pain wasn't very well understood, but it did tend to decrease with time. It hadn't quite been a year yet, but already the pain had gone from dehibiltating nearly every day to a background irritant with regular flareups. Further improvement probably wouldn't be quite so drastic, but it would be good."
"... so that's a yes?"
"Not yet, I still don't trust you to fuck around in my body, I've just got it the way I want it," you snapped. "But I'm thinking about it."
"Mmhm. I will say that other changes from your genetic template are much more practical. Clearly upgrades which have more than counteracted the loss of muscle mass. Whatever you have done to yourself is impressive, if short-sightened given your increasing sterility."
"Dude, why are you so obsessed with a teenaged girl's capacity to have children. It's super creepy," Athena pointed out.
"The purpose of life is to make copies of itself, to propagate those copies to dominate the local environment. Whatever modifications you have done has made you strong, far stronger than any human I've encountered, but then you will die, and your dominance of this world will end. That is all that matters."
"Oh no, my empire," you lamented sarcastically. "Whatever dude, I just want less pain."
"Fine. I can arrange that. Just keep their needles away from us."
"... deal."
"Hey, Liv, do I get a vote too?"
"Oh, yeah. Your body too," you said.
"Then deal, but if you fuck us over I will send so much pain it will break your pathetic little alien brain," Athena warned.
"... Okay."
You climbed back up through the window.
---
It took only a moment to transfer to the room that Nat and Clint had actually commendeered, while the sirens of arriving police swarmed and took a look at the blank security footage you'd erased. From there you went into the bathroom "to change out of your costume", then had to explain just what the hell was going on. You made it pretty simply: there was an alien parasite in your body, but you'd managed to get it under control. The problem is, the kept talking and asking questions, and you kept getting more and more hungry.
"That's me. My processes need a great deal of energy." the creature explained. "Eat the male. Less metal. Easier to digest."
"Or we can go get pizza." Athena pointed out.
"... mmhm. That would work, but it's farther away. He's right there."
"Guys, um, I know its concerning, but also we've, uh, I've not had anything to eat for a long while. Can I got get food?" you asked. The two of them looked at you suspiciously, then Nat nodded slowly.
"Sure. Yeah, let's get you some food. Clint, hold down the fort and ward off the cops," she said, walking for the door. "Got a preference?"
"I am intridged by this pizza now."
"This is going to sound wild given that it's..." you checked your watch. 2:30pm. "Oh, not that wild. Pizza?"
"Pizza. Alright." You stood awkwardly in the elevator together as it carried you down to the parking garage, then Nat lead you to the coolest car you'd ever seen, a brand new electric compact SUV, but under the hood your tech sense detected nearly as many fancy gadgets as was in Nat. Like, this thing was armoured, had active camoflage, and the battery was one of those aluminium-ion types you thought were still limited to labs. It had a set of incredible sensors and you thought it was either amphibious or could drive underwater.
"It's a real-ass James Bond car," Athena said, utterly awed.
"Holy shit. What happened to Clint's van?" you asked as you sat down.
"Agency got a bit of a budget bump," Nat explained flippantly, "Also, it's an experimental testbed, not a practical car. I borrowed it because nobody can stop me and I think it's going to become my daily driver."
"Fuck she's so cool. For a government assassin."
"Who is James Bond? Is he a threat?"
"Well, it's pretty impressive." you said, and she glanced at you.
"So, how'd you get an AI?" she asked as the car pulled out into the street, accelerating silently down the road.
"I... don't know what you're talking about." you said, playing it off.
"Right. You're just a good hacker." she said, shaking her head. "Bullshit. You've got an AI, it runs your arms, hacks computers for you, sometimes I'm half-convinced it controls the rest of you too. Spent a long time thinking you were from where I was from, but you don't fit their typical profile."
"Shit."
"Kill her now. It'll be easy."
"I can neither confirm nor deny," you said. "Why would you think that?"
"... we haven't had a chance to talk, but whoever your friend is puppeted my body back in the vault." she pointed out. "Normally I like to kill people who do that, but it saved Clint and I, so I'll give you and your computer friend a pass."
You were suddenly very, very aware of the coiled springs in the two pistols concealed in the compartments in her thighs.
"Well, I appreciate it," you said, as the car pulled to a stop near some chain or another.
"You know, a lot of my superheroing ends in pizza. A surprising amount, even for a New Yorker." you said, trying to let some of the tension out.
"Mmhm. We're eating the car, not an unsecured location. Place an order," she instructed, and you gathered she didn't mean by phone. It took you exactly a second to reach into their automated system, insert the order and instructions, and pay through one of your dummy accounts. "Done?"
"Yeah," you said.
"Tell you what. Question for a question. I don't tell people things often, but I need answers on this one. Tell me where you got the AI, and I'll answer a question. Truthfully."
---
"Ha! It would not do to have hosts die on us prematurely. We can read your genetic information, your body deviates signifigantly from what it should be. Damage and poisoning." he replied, "The arm, obviously, but also your hormone levels and repro-"
"That's not damage," you snapped.
"Ah, you did it on purpose. Interesting. Not optimal from an evolutionary standpoint, but that damage is relatively minor," Well, you weren't sure yet, but you were strongly considering make that damage somewhat more permanent. None of his fucking business anyway. "Oh, now I understand. Well, in that case, there's the issues with your nerves. Ah, neuroma, you have a word for it," he said, sounding strangely pleased at that. "We can reduce the pain, repair what nerves we can and sever that which we can't. Relatively painlessly."
"... Liv, I don't trust the alien blob any more than you do, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that would be an immense improvement in our quality of life."
"No shit. How much a difference are we talking?"
"I'm not sure, but I can simulate and accelerate the processes of healing your body is already capable of. It will be as though the damage is older. Ten, fifteen years."
You considered that carefully. Post-amputation chronic pain wasn't very well understood, but it did tend to decrease with time. It hadn't quite been a year yet, but already the pain had gone from dehibiltating nearly every day to a background irritant with regular flareups. Further improvement probably wouldn't be quite so drastic, but it would be good."
"... so that's a yes?"
"Not yet, I still don't trust you to fuck around in my body, I've just got it the way I want it," you snapped. "But I'm thinking about it."
"Mmhm. I will say that other changes from your genetic template are much more practical. Clearly upgrades which have more than counteracted the loss of muscle mass. Whatever you have done to yourself is impressive, if short-sightened given your increasing sterility."
"Dude, why are you so obsessed with a teenaged girl's capacity to have children. It's super creepy," Athena pointed out.
"The purpose of life is to make copies of itself, to propagate those copies to dominate the local environment. Whatever modifications you have done has made you strong, far stronger than any human I've encountered, but then you will die, and your dominance of this world will end. That is all that matters."
"Oh no, my empire," you lamented sarcastically. "Whatever dude, I just want less pain."
"Fine. I can arrange that. Just keep their needles away from us."
"... deal."
"Hey, Liv, do I get a vote too?"
"Oh, yeah. Your body too," you said.
"Then deal, but if you fuck us over I will send so much pain it will break your pathetic little alien brain," Athena warned.
"... Okay."
You climbed back up through the window.
---
It took only a moment to transfer to the room that Nat and Clint had actually commendeered, while the sirens of arriving police swarmed and took a look at the blank security footage you'd erased. From there you went into the bathroom "to change out of your costume", then had to explain just what the hell was going on. You made it pretty simply: there was an alien parasite in your body, but you'd managed to get it under control. The problem is, the kept talking and asking questions, and you kept getting more and more hungry.
"That's me. My processes need a great deal of energy." the creature explained. "Eat the male. Less metal. Easier to digest."
"Or we can go get pizza." Athena pointed out.
"... mmhm. That would work, but it's farther away. He's right there."
"Guys, um, I know its concerning, but also we've, uh, I've not had anything to eat for a long while. Can I got get food?" you asked. The two of them looked at you suspiciously, then Nat nodded slowly.
"Sure. Yeah, let's get you some food. Clint, hold down the fort and ward off the cops," she said, walking for the door. "Got a preference?"
"I am intridged by this pizza now."
"This is going to sound wild given that it's..." you checked your watch. 2:30pm. "Oh, not that wild. Pizza?"
"Pizza. Alright." You stood awkwardly in the elevator together as it carried you down to the parking garage, then Nat lead you to the coolest car you'd ever seen, a brand new electric compact SUV, but under the hood your tech sense detected nearly as many fancy gadgets as was in Nat. Like, this thing was armoured, had active camoflage, and the battery was one of those aluminium-ion types you thought were still limited to labs. It had a set of incredible sensors and you thought it was either amphibious or could drive underwater.
"It's a real-ass James Bond car," Athena said, utterly awed.
"Holy shit. What happened to Clint's van?" you asked as you sat down.
"Agency got a bit of a budget bump," Nat explained flippantly, "Also, it's an experimental testbed, not a practical car. I borrowed it because nobody can stop me and I think it's going to become my daily driver."
"Fuck she's so cool. For a government assassin."
"Who is James Bond? Is he a threat?"
"Well, it's pretty impressive." you said, and she glanced at you.
"So, how'd you get an AI?" she asked as the car pulled out into the street, accelerating silently down the road.
"I... don't know what you're talking about." you said, playing it off.
"Right. You're just a good hacker." she said, shaking her head. "Bullshit. You've got an AI, it runs your arms, hacks computers for you, sometimes I'm half-convinced it controls the rest of you too. Spent a long time thinking you were from where I was from, but you don't fit their typical profile."
"Shit."
"Kill her now. It'll be easy."
"I can neither confirm nor deny," you said. "Why would you think that?"
"... we haven't had a chance to talk, but whoever your friend is puppeted my body back in the vault." she pointed out. "Normally I like to kill people who do that, but it saved Clint and I, so I'll give you and your computer friend a pass."
You were suddenly very, very aware of the coiled springs in the two pistols concealed in the compartments in her thighs.
"Well, I appreciate it," you said, as the car pulled to a stop near some chain or another.
"You know, a lot of my superheroing ends in pizza. A surprising amount, even for a New Yorker." you said, trying to let some of the tension out.
"Mmhm. We're eating the car, not an unsecured location. Place an order," she instructed, and you gathered she didn't mean by phone. It took you exactly a second to reach into their automated system, insert the order and instructions, and pay through one of your dummy accounts. "Done?"
"Yeah," you said.
"Tell you what. Question for a question. I don't tell people things often, but I need answers on this one. Tell me where you got the AI, and I'll answer a question. Truthfully."
---
Your answer
[ ] I made it. (The Truth)
[ ] I stole it.
[ ] I was contacted by it.
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