RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
We should go camping.
Sleight Advantage [Naruto SI] (Old version)
- Thread starter RogueDruid
- Start date
- Location
- Earth Prime
"As the sun set," I believe it should be.
The compound word "sunset" is a noun.
False Tarot: Five Of Swords
RogueDruid
"You are in my way, And simply unecessary"
- Location
- Salt lake city
And your second update of the week, Another False tarot tieline update!
Hunting (Five of Swords)
Kabuto pushed his glasses up, adjusting from his position overlooking the small camp.
Five targets, all chunin. Two guarding, three resting around the fire, cooking a late meal. The distinctive snake pattern scarves and cloaks, the white and grey coloring.
Sound Ninjas.
Kabuto shifted silently, gaze flickering across the small valley the sound-nins were camped in, catching the pale blue flakes of his friends gaze.
Toru was a ghost among the treeline, his form a mottled green grey that was nearly impossible to see in the dark unless you knew what to look for.
Toru met his gaze, and nodded, before he seemed to simply vanish, a ghost among the treeline.
Kabuto moved as well, darting through the trees as they tracked the last of the army, marking each of the other dozen camps, each bigger than the last.
Toru had chosen their next target.
The Sound Four.
A crawl of ink, the imitation rats, and bugs that he had sent scurrying through the undergrowth returning and coating his page with lines of numbers and rough maps of the camps, each page a different camp, each person is given a simple description. As he memorized it he drew the ink from the page, leaving the book pristine white canvas once more.
As the last page turned white, he considered.
213 people, divided among 13 main camps and another 6 outlying guard camps spaced around the forest. Average chakra signature hovered high genin, low chunin. 46 are severely injured and crippled, a further 102 are suffering from either exhaustion or wounds that don't prevent combat.
Then is the commander camp.
The sound four. Each uninjured and only minor exhausted, along with a force of 12 other ninjas guarding and assisting with leading the camp. Each of the other 12 is divided among the various camps, acting as leader and commander of their forces.
At his side appeared his brother, face hidden behind the dark grey mottled face mask he had taken up.
All Sai did was a nod, answering the unspoken question, before the pair vanished, heading towards the first meeting point.
Honestly, Kazuo was wondering why he signed up for this gig in the first place.
Yeah, the prospect had been appealing. "Join us, be given great power, protection from the Great Villages and shelter from hunter-nin"
The never said anything about getting your ass whooped by one of those villages.
Seriously, how the fuck did he ever think this was gonna go well? I mean yeah, the surgeries were intense, and the result was powerful. A voice that with his custom mask cast powerful illusions, the skill and training to cast powerful Genjutsu that gave commands that were hard to resist, that made civilians fold to his will.
He had taken full of advantage, him and a squad of allies taking out a half-dozen various chunin or genin teams over the five months leading up to the invasion. They had lived it up, wealth, power, and women. What more would any man need?
And then his entire squad got fucking wiped out by a single goddamn attack from one of those fat fuckers in Konoha, who grew to massive fucking sizes. In a moment of clarity, Kazuo had run like a bitch back behind the front lines, intentionally breaking his arm (quickly and cleanly), and rolling in a pile of debris to scuff up his gear.
He had arrived just as the call to fall back came, and was all too happy to fall in with the crowd as they retreated from the land of fire.
Now the entire army that had left was sitting around, the end of the four days run from the land of fire and finally sitting down to rest and recover inside the Ta No Kuni. They would rest up, lick their wounds, and then disperse back across the dozens of camps that made up Oto. Once Orochimaru gave the order o return, anyway.
And then, if Kazuo had a chance? He was gonna snag some supplies, the tools to keep his mask in shape, and go and pursue a fruitful life living in some small backwater away from civilization.
Satisfied and determined he looked back up, taking a deep slow breath as he kept watch, listening for the-
Wait,
Where was the sound of the wildlife? For that matter, where were the faint sounds of the other camps?
He shifted to his feet, preparing to call out, to alert his camp to intruders, to ready for battle.
He froze, time slowing as he looked down, the long thin line of silver poking from his throat a surprise, same with the familiar gleam of blood that coated the tip, dripping once, the fluid moving oh so slowly before it twisted and was pulled back. In front of him, a flickering blur of color passed by, unrecognizable as he eyes went unfocused.
And then the last Kazuo knew was a hand wrapping his face and covering his eyes, before nothing.
The six outer camps were silent, a simple network of silencing seals planted to keep sound from traveling between them.
The four shadows in the night continued their work, scything through the next twelve camps all but unseen, and slowly killing all they came across.
Tayuya sat with her flute disassembled as she cleaned it, behind her she heard the long disgusting snoring of Jirobo from the next tent over making her twitch. Both the fat fuck and Kidomaru were asleep, the six-armed mother fucker camped out on a web that was hung from the trees away from the camp, surrounded by a few of his goddamn spider summons.
Sighing, she took the polishing cloth and ran it across her flute. Despite not using it much, she was nervous, a feeling under her skin that made her twitchy. Her secondary flute, a much cheaper backup, was at her side. And even in the relative privacy and safety of her tent, she felt like a live wire. She had been hoping the maintenance of her tools would help her out, take the edge off her nerves and let her sleep. Two for one was sitting his ass on guard duty, probably circling the camp as he waited for the time he could switch off with Kidomaru. Then it would be Jirou and finally, it would be Tayuya's watch as dawn came.
Which means she would really like to sleep soon.
She began to screw her flute back together, sighing in annoyance.
Now if she could get some sleep despite the FAT FUCKER-
Wait.
Where was that sound of snore-
Tayuya froze as she felt a sharp cool blade under her chin, resting almost carelessly across the hollow of her collarbone and against the veins of her throat, she could feel the razor-edged metal, moving so gently she felt it touch and trace her skin.
"Hello, Tatuya. I think we need to talk." the voice was soft, melodic. And before she could even consider going to fight a second hand flowed past her, catching her gaze as with a waved half seal, her flutes vanished, the puff of smoke similar to a sealing scroll fading as the hand pulled back.
"I have an offer you really should consider."
The hand moved back, and as Tatuya began to reach for the power of the cursed seal, she felt it abruptly cut off as the hand settled on her shoulder, making her gasp as she felt something in her seal twitch and still.
"Without Orochimaru clouding your mind with his nonsense, preferably."
Something clicked, and she finally recognized the voice in her ear.
"Kabuto?"
"Of course, who else knows this seal so well."
She felt the blade vanish, and twisted, taking a step back to see Kabuto settling against the support of the tent.
"So. What do you want, Apprentice."
Kabuto grinned.
Shin flickered back, blade slicing through the left brothers reaching hand, evicting a scream as a finger fell away in a splash of blood, before twisting and thrusting, orbs of superheated fire coating his unarmed hands fingertips as it reached for the right twins skul, the shining fear in his eyes eliciting only the barest flicker of pity before the fingers and their payload made contact, the flesh of the brothers skull vanishing in a wave of ash and gore, the fingers pushing the heat through to boil the blood and brains under his grasp.
As the other brother reared back, symbols crawling his skin and fear and grief in his eyes, the cry of "SAKON-" on his lips.
A blade flickered and lines of flames spread and erupted across Ukons back, the shadow clone that had killed Sakon dissipating.
As the disbelieving form of Ukon collapsed, Shin looked through the forest, looking for his commander.
It was a duel, and yet a slaughter. One side clearly outpacing the other at every turn.
Spider strings and dark gold splatters stretched across the trees and ground, wreathed by a thick mist that seemed to ripple and twist according to some unnamed conductor, trees turned to pincushions as cards and senbon sprouted in the wake of the six armed Kidomaru, his panicked expression visible regardless of the strange dark demon caricature the cursed seal granted. His armor of gold was cracked and damaged, pierced by senbon and slashed by cards as hard and sharp as steel.
Toru himself was nothing but a faint idea in the mist, one of a dozen swirling mist like wraiths, each armed with senbon and cards that twisted and curved mid-flight, homing and tracking the six armed Sound-Nin. The few glances of Toru he saw himself showed an expression akin to boredom, or disinterest. He took in thrown nets of weaved webs and countered with walls of flickering slashing mist and razor playing cards, before vanishing from the senses once more.
That was to say nothing of the other fighters around the two. The summons of each Ninja as they fought for their summoners.
Flickers of dark colors moved in erratic hunting patterns, blades sharper than senbon themselves and wings with blades of air pressure scoured the upper branches and the trunks, leaving dismembered legs and dead spiders to curl and fade, smoke claiming them for burial at an alarming rate.
Finally, Kidomaru grew desperate, instead of scurrying across webs and tree branches, he leapt. leaving himself in mid-air for a half second, with no method of escape.
And the mist crashed up, thick and dark with the weight of chakra, (a jutsu? Shin assumed), before it suddenly turned to a pale pink.
When it parted, it revealed an armless Kidomaru, blood leaking up and seemingly wandering up, the liquid destined to join the mist.
And then the slim silver blade of a tanto punched through the gold armor, plunging like a nail through heart and lung and into the ground beneath it. A second later, a wave of summoning jutsus spread across the forest, the spiders retreating back to their clan's caves and webs.
Toru appeared at the edge of the pink mist, sheath empty but outfit clean of blood.
And then the hummingbirds began to circle, closing in on the bleeding corpse, the mist vanishing as they drank their fill of the blood around the corpse, before they too faded back to the summons realm, triumphant.
Toru strode forwards holding up the picked clean skull of Kidomaru, before a simple jutsu caused the ground itself to consume the skeletal remains, the skull falling into the churning earth with naught but a glance. Shin took a moment to set the bodies of the twins on fire as well, turning back to see Toru with his blade sheathed once more. Toru turned, and met Shin's gaze, before the two made their way back to to the tents of the sound four, passing the drained corpses of a dozen guards, all killed silently, their blood sacrificed to the Hummingbirds to keep the massive swarm present for the entire fight.
Sai approached them from the treeline as well. He had finished his opponent, the mountainous Jirobo, first, piercing his defense without fanfare with the touch of an unmastered lightning jutsu, at the cost of taking a crushing blow to his side.
He had sat out the rest of the fights, taking time to clean and bandage his wounds, before he shifted through the unoccupied tents.
Now all they waited for was Kabuto and Tayuya.
"So, what do you choose."
"...Lets fucking do it."
"Wonderful, Toru will be pleased you saw things our way."
Hunting (Five of Swords)
Kabuto pushed his glasses up, adjusting from his position overlooking the small camp.
Five targets, all chunin. Two guarding, three resting around the fire, cooking a late meal. The distinctive snake pattern scarves and cloaks, the white and grey coloring.
Sound Ninjas.
Kabuto shifted silently, gaze flickering across the small valley the sound-nins were camped in, catching the pale blue flakes of his friends gaze.
Toru was a ghost among the treeline, his form a mottled green grey that was nearly impossible to see in the dark unless you knew what to look for.
Toru met his gaze, and nodded, before he seemed to simply vanish, a ghost among the treeline.
Kabuto moved as well, darting through the trees as they tracked the last of the army, marking each of the other dozen camps, each bigger than the last.
Toru had chosen their next target.
The Sound Four.
A crawl of ink, the imitation rats, and bugs that he had sent scurrying through the undergrowth returning and coating his page with lines of numbers and rough maps of the camps, each page a different camp, each person is given a simple description. As he memorized it he drew the ink from the page, leaving the book pristine white canvas once more.
As the last page turned white, he considered.
213 people, divided among 13 main camps and another 6 outlying guard camps spaced around the forest. Average chakra signature hovered high genin, low chunin. 46 are severely injured and crippled, a further 102 are suffering from either exhaustion or wounds that don't prevent combat.
Then is the commander camp.
The sound four. Each uninjured and only minor exhausted, along with a force of 12 other ninjas guarding and assisting with leading the camp. Each of the other 12 is divided among the various camps, acting as leader and commander of their forces.
At his side appeared his brother, face hidden behind the dark grey mottled face mask he had taken up.
All Sai did was a nod, answering the unspoken question, before the pair vanished, heading towards the first meeting point.
Honestly, Kazuo was wondering why he signed up for this gig in the first place.
Yeah, the prospect had been appealing. "Join us, be given great power, protection from the Great Villages and shelter from hunter-nin"
The never said anything about getting your ass whooped by one of those villages.
Seriously, how the fuck did he ever think this was gonna go well? I mean yeah, the surgeries were intense, and the result was powerful. A voice that with his custom mask cast powerful illusions, the skill and training to cast powerful Genjutsu that gave commands that were hard to resist, that made civilians fold to his will.
He had taken full of advantage, him and a squad of allies taking out a half-dozen various chunin or genin teams over the five months leading up to the invasion. They had lived it up, wealth, power, and women. What more would any man need?
And then his entire squad got fucking wiped out by a single goddamn attack from one of those fat fuckers in Konoha, who grew to massive fucking sizes. In a moment of clarity, Kazuo had run like a bitch back behind the front lines, intentionally breaking his arm (quickly and cleanly), and rolling in a pile of debris to scuff up his gear.
He had arrived just as the call to fall back came, and was all too happy to fall in with the crowd as they retreated from the land of fire.
Now the entire army that had left was sitting around, the end of the four days run from the land of fire and finally sitting down to rest and recover inside the Ta No Kuni. They would rest up, lick their wounds, and then disperse back across the dozens of camps that made up Oto. Once Orochimaru gave the order o return, anyway.
And then, if Kazuo had a chance? He was gonna snag some supplies, the tools to keep his mask in shape, and go and pursue a fruitful life living in some small backwater away from civilization.
Satisfied and determined he looked back up, taking a deep slow breath as he kept watch, listening for the-
Wait,
Where was the sound of the wildlife? For that matter, where were the faint sounds of the other camps?
He shifted to his feet, preparing to call out, to alert his camp to intruders, to ready for battle.
He froze, time slowing as he looked down, the long thin line of silver poking from his throat a surprise, same with the familiar gleam of blood that coated the tip, dripping once, the fluid moving oh so slowly before it twisted and was pulled back. In front of him, a flickering blur of color passed by, unrecognizable as he eyes went unfocused.
And then the last Kazuo knew was a hand wrapping his face and covering his eyes, before nothing.
The six outer camps were silent, a simple network of silencing seals planted to keep sound from traveling between them.
The four shadows in the night continued their work, scything through the next twelve camps all but unseen, and slowly killing all they came across.
Tayuya sat with her flute disassembled as she cleaned it, behind her she heard the long disgusting snoring of Jirobo from the next tent over making her twitch. Both the fat fuck and Kidomaru were asleep, the six-armed mother fucker camped out on a web that was hung from the trees away from the camp, surrounded by a few of his goddamn spider summons.
Sighing, she took the polishing cloth and ran it across her flute. Despite not using it much, she was nervous, a feeling under her skin that made her twitchy. Her secondary flute, a much cheaper backup, was at her side. And even in the relative privacy and safety of her tent, she felt like a live wire. She had been hoping the maintenance of her tools would help her out, take the edge off her nerves and let her sleep. Two for one was sitting his ass on guard duty, probably circling the camp as he waited for the time he could switch off with Kidomaru. Then it would be Jirou and finally, it would be Tayuya's watch as dawn came.
Which means she would really like to sleep soon.
She began to screw her flute back together, sighing in annoyance.
Now if she could get some sleep despite the FAT FUCKER-
Wait.
Where was that sound of snore-
Tayuya froze as she felt a sharp cool blade under her chin, resting almost carelessly across the hollow of her collarbone and against the veins of her throat, she could feel the razor-edged metal, moving so gently she felt it touch and trace her skin.
"Hello, Tatuya. I think we need to talk." the voice was soft, melodic. And before she could even consider going to fight a second hand flowed past her, catching her gaze as with a waved half seal, her flutes vanished, the puff of smoke similar to a sealing scroll fading as the hand pulled back.
"I have an offer you really should consider."
The hand moved back, and as Tatuya began to reach for the power of the cursed seal, she felt it abruptly cut off as the hand settled on her shoulder, making her gasp as she felt something in her seal twitch and still.
"Without Orochimaru clouding your mind with his nonsense, preferably."
Something clicked, and she finally recognized the voice in her ear.
"Kabuto?"
"Of course, who else knows this seal so well."
She felt the blade vanish, and twisted, taking a step back to see Kabuto settling against the support of the tent.
"So. What do you want, Apprentice."
Kabuto grinned.
Shin flickered back, blade slicing through the left brothers reaching hand, evicting a scream as a finger fell away in a splash of blood, before twisting and thrusting, orbs of superheated fire coating his unarmed hands fingertips as it reached for the right twins skul, the shining fear in his eyes eliciting only the barest flicker of pity before the fingers and their payload made contact, the flesh of the brothers skull vanishing in a wave of ash and gore, the fingers pushing the heat through to boil the blood and brains under his grasp.
As the other brother reared back, symbols crawling his skin and fear and grief in his eyes, the cry of "SAKON-" on his lips.
A blade flickered and lines of flames spread and erupted across Ukons back, the shadow clone that had killed Sakon dissipating.
As the disbelieving form of Ukon collapsed, Shin looked through the forest, looking for his commander.
It was a duel, and yet a slaughter. One side clearly outpacing the other at every turn.
Spider strings and dark gold splatters stretched across the trees and ground, wreathed by a thick mist that seemed to ripple and twist according to some unnamed conductor, trees turned to pincushions as cards and senbon sprouted in the wake of the six armed Kidomaru, his panicked expression visible regardless of the strange dark demon caricature the cursed seal granted. His armor of gold was cracked and damaged, pierced by senbon and slashed by cards as hard and sharp as steel.
Toru himself was nothing but a faint idea in the mist, one of a dozen swirling mist like wraiths, each armed with senbon and cards that twisted and curved mid-flight, homing and tracking the six armed Sound-Nin. The few glances of Toru he saw himself showed an expression akin to boredom, or disinterest. He took in thrown nets of weaved webs and countered with walls of flickering slashing mist and razor playing cards, before vanishing from the senses once more.
That was to say nothing of the other fighters around the two. The summons of each Ninja as they fought for their summoners.
Flickers of dark colors moved in erratic hunting patterns, blades sharper than senbon themselves and wings with blades of air pressure scoured the upper branches and the trunks, leaving dismembered legs and dead spiders to curl and fade, smoke claiming them for burial at an alarming rate.
Finally, Kidomaru grew desperate, instead of scurrying across webs and tree branches, he leapt. leaving himself in mid-air for a half second, with no method of escape.
And the mist crashed up, thick and dark with the weight of chakra, (a jutsu? Shin assumed), before it suddenly turned to a pale pink.
When it parted, it revealed an armless Kidomaru, blood leaking up and seemingly wandering up, the liquid destined to join the mist.
And then the slim silver blade of a tanto punched through the gold armor, plunging like a nail through heart and lung and into the ground beneath it. A second later, a wave of summoning jutsus spread across the forest, the spiders retreating back to their clan's caves and webs.
Toru appeared at the edge of the pink mist, sheath empty but outfit clean of blood.
And then the hummingbirds began to circle, closing in on the bleeding corpse, the mist vanishing as they drank their fill of the blood around the corpse, before they too faded back to the summons realm, triumphant.
Toru strode forwards holding up the picked clean skull of Kidomaru, before a simple jutsu caused the ground itself to consume the skeletal remains, the skull falling into the churning earth with naught but a glance. Shin took a moment to set the bodies of the twins on fire as well, turning back to see Toru with his blade sheathed once more. Toru turned, and met Shin's gaze, before the two made their way back to to the tents of the sound four, passing the drained corpses of a dozen guards, all killed silently, their blood sacrificed to the Hummingbirds to keep the massive swarm present for the entire fight.
Sai approached them from the treeline as well. He had finished his opponent, the mountainous Jirobo, first, piercing his defense without fanfare with the touch of an unmastered lightning jutsu, at the cost of taking a crushing blow to his side.
He had sat out the rest of the fights, taking time to clean and bandage his wounds, before he shifted through the unoccupied tents.
Now all they waited for was Kabuto and Tayuya.
"So, what do you choose."
"...Lets fucking do it."
"Wonderful, Toru will be pleased you saw things our way."
Last edited:
- Location
- USA
You used the same descriptor right after each other. Was that intentional?
RogueDruid
"You are in my way, And simply unecessary"
- Location
- Salt lake city
*Stares at Date of the last update nervously*
heheheh.... Fuck.
You know.. I'm unsatisfied with this now.
This started in 2017.
I feel... I feel like I've grown, like the quality of this isn't enough.
Goddamn it.
Now, i can almost feel the oncoming question here.
Its simple.
when i started this, i had no Beta. I had no real goals. I had no real experience with what i wanted.
I have that now.
SO! I'm gonna hit the grindstone, clean up the first few chapters till I'm satified, and start posting them in a new thread.
I'll drop the link soon, but until then, feel free to talk about what you liked about SA so far. What did i do right? is there something you want me to expand on? to refine? to focus on?
See you all again*much* sooner this time.
heheheh.... Fuck.
You know.. I'm unsatisfied with this now.
This started in 2017.
I feel... I feel like I've grown, like the quality of this isn't enough.
Goddamn it.
Now, i can almost feel the oncoming question here.
Its simple.
when i started this, i had no Beta. I had no real goals. I had no real experience with what i wanted.
I have that now.
SO! I'm gonna hit the grindstone, clean up the first few chapters till I'm satified, and start posting them in a new thread.
I'll drop the link soon, but until then, feel free to talk about what you liked about SA so far. What did i do right? is there something you want me to expand on? to refine? to focus on?
See you all again*much* sooner this time.
RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
I'm crying as we speak. I love that you're coming back to it, but it's a well known phenomena that a near abandoned story that gets a rewrite almost always tends to get abandoned before it even gets to the point where it left off.
To be perfectly, absolutely blunt.. I don't think there's anything wrong with the first few chapters. This story was one of the few fantastic SIs that I keep coming back to every couple of months for a binge read. If I thought there was anything wrong with it, I'd have said so. Quite a few times. I probably wouldn't have been subtle either, I'm not sure how to be.
Regardless, the things I love about the story are his skills at prestidigitation, the discussion over what his summons could be (probably monkeys), his constant training regimen that was well structured. Also, his grandpapa who doesn't get enough love in fanfics.
To focus on, maybe focus on increasing his chakra levels, so he can pull off summons quite well? Uhh, also his grandpapa, and shit like that?
To be perfectly, absolutely blunt.. I don't think there's anything wrong with the first few chapters. This story was one of the few fantastic SIs that I keep coming back to every couple of months for a binge read. If I thought there was anything wrong with it, I'd have said so. Quite a few times. I probably wouldn't have been subtle either, I'm not sure how to be.
Regardless, the things I love about the story are his skills at prestidigitation, the discussion over what his summons could be (probably monkeys), his constant training regimen that was well structured. Also, his grandpapa who doesn't get enough love in fanfics.
To focus on, maybe focus on increasing his chakra levels, so he can pull off summons quite well? Uhh, also his grandpapa, and shit like that?
- Location
- Leeds
Would you leave the old ones up and post the new ones and update the thread marks? Or update the old ones and chance people missing alerts?
RogueDruid
"You are in my way, And simply unecessary"
- Location
- Salt lake city
This thread will stay up, but i'll be posting the rewrite in a new thread.
NEW THREAD HERE
RogueDruid
"You are in my way, And simply unecessary"
- Location
- Salt lake city
The Sleightest Advantage (Naruto SI-OC)
Born only a few years before that disastrous night when the Nine-tails was released, Toru Shusho has always felt like the world was oddly familiar. As memories began to seep through, he grew up with echoes of another life and stories of the world he now walks in his dreams. He knows that the...
forums.sufficientvelocity.com
Chapter 1 of the rewrite is now up.
Befriending Naruto also means that you'll get dragged into Jinchuriki bullshit decades before you can realistically win against an S rank ninja. If he stays away he can settle for fighting white Zetus during the war arc
Last edited:
ghoohg
Nap- I mean meditating.
- Location
- Land of the Lustrous
This story was rewritten, and the thread has been dead for about 2 years now. Follow the link above your post there for the new version.
RichardWhereat
Feanor did nothing wrong.
- Location
- Australia
It also means you're more plot important, and will only be killed for a plot important reason, rather than killed off-screen as unimportant.