Wouldn't Kakuzu have already fled after fighting Hashirama. He should be in his 20s or 30s no? That fight would have been a decade or more ago.
According to the Wiki, at least from what I managed to get out of it, he didn't defect until the interwar period of the first and second war.

Think of this as the time right before he defected, and now the butterfly effect has started flapping again and might make him stay.
 
But wait, Hashiramas already dead, and Taki was abusive as hell and imprsoned him after he returned form the fight. Wasn't he supposed to be executed? Ugh the Naruto timeline is such a mess. Tobirama has already died too, that doesn't make sense.
 
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Ugh the Naruto timeline is such a mess.
It really doesn't... I'm serious, I want to follow it, but it's so confusing that i can barely comprehend it at times.

yeah, you may be right, but it's too bloody inconsistent for me to wrap my head around.

So in an effort to write a better story without being constrained by that confusing timeline... I am taking some liberties.
 
Butterflies happened. With goddamn chaos butterfly mothra already in the air, what is one more? The timeline is still weird but its not any worse than Kishimoto's own sense of time.

Magoose, if you need to take the game slower go ahead. We don't need you burning out. Even an update every few days is still plenty.
 
The Naruto timeline is a self-contradictory mess, and this is already an AU since I somehow don't remember a reincarnated Kurama character in canon. As long as whatever timeline Magoose is going with is internally consistent, nobody should give a shit whether it's "canon" or not.
 
Is it really Kakuzu if he wasn't a badass a/s rank nin who held his own against the first, gained his respect, stole Earth Grudge Fear in his escape from his villages betrayal? That's his definitive character arc. This is just some kid with the same name, which, fair enough. I'll treat it like that.
 
How is Zetsu supposed to reform when I'm fairly sure being disintegrated by a Tailed Beast Bomb should be game over for him and just about anyone else?
I could always write another omake that could show how he survived, or I can just tell you... He had some extra body parts nearby to put himself together.
Why is an Uzumaki ninja killing Konoha ninja?
That was a case of ROOT friendly fire, and the Uzumaki returning the favor.
At this point, wouldn't Kakuzu already have long since failed his assassination of the First Hokage and left Taki behind after having taken the Jiongu? I don't think he should be quite so young, or still actively a part of Taki.
Hideyoshi is nearing his 70's, everyone is a boy too him.

As for why Kakuzu is working with Taki. The butterfly effect that caused that has slowly been flapping since our birth (via our parent's actions, or rather lack of action due to raising us, and their effect on other people) has led to some... interesting developments all over the world.

This is merely one of the butterfly effects that are coming off from our mere existence and the effects that have caused.

There are many other effects that have happened, this is just the one that is the most noticeable at this moment, but more are coming.

Edit: I would like to say while I am following the timeline, I am taking liberties to try and write a good story for you all to enjoy.
 
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That was wonderful.

I cannot wait for the children to walk up to Konoha's front gates and ask why no one came to look for them.
 
That was wonderful.

I cannot wait for the children to walk up to Konoha's front gates and ask why no one came to look for them.
And then they find out about all the shit that happened when they were gone and are like "Shit... Sorry about that. But it's not our fault we got kidnapped.":V
 
Taki’s Plans
Taki's Plans

Two years prior to Battle Royale

(Hiydoshi's POV)

"We should have just killed him." You stared at the drink some of the tea one of Hisen's servants brought in. The brown liquid didn't look appealing to you. "What you did to him was not mercy."

"And waste such a valuable asset?" Hisen replied. "One of the most powerful jounin in the entire continent? Hideyoshi, you know that we got lucky with capturing him. And in such a state that could make him loyal to the village. Loyal to the dream."

"You shattered his mind." You replied. "Ripped away from his memories-"

"And let his mind do the rest," Hisen replied. He paused, taking a sip of his drink. "The the mind is such a delicate thing. Why do you think being able to be immune to genjutsu is such a powerful commodity. To know that your mind is safe."

"This isn't about me." You growled. "And lucky… You hired a Kurama, a Yamanaka, and an Uchiha to enter his mind and destroy it when we got lucky with him getting drunk."

Hisen again took a sip of his tea. "The mind of the subject will desperately create memories where none exist… Do you remember that lesson from old man Todo?"

You nodded. "No." You replied. Your old teacher from before the village officially became Takikuge was not someone you remembered fondly. He had been the one who trained you in genjutsu… and nearly killed you when he put you into your worst nightmare.

"Take away a single memory, but none of the others and the brain will try to fill in the blank memory with what's around it," Hisen replied. "It's a simple concept really."

"That doesn't give you the right to do something like that." You whispered.

"And what right do you have to question it?" Hisen raised his voice. "The continent is on the brink of war and it's barely been 5 years since the last war because no one is happy about what happened in the last war. Konoha lost its Hokage, Suna lost a thousand ninja, the gold and silver brothers dying! We were almost wiped out Hideyoshi!" Your leader stood up. "And I am not going allow my people to suffer from needless conflict when we have a chance to stop war ourselves."

You frowned. "You want to be like the other great villages? Throwing around influence to try and make war inevitable?"

"I want to make it impossible." Hisen replied.

You frowned. "Many greater men have tried that… many more have failed in achieving that dream."

"You don't believe I can at least delay another war for the remainder of my lifetime?" Hisen asked.

"There are too many things out our control for that to happen… You are not a god." You replied.

Hisen took a seat, his anger vanishing from his face. "If we can't delay it… we need to make ourselves so valuable as an ally, that we won't be attacked."

"And how do you plan on doing that?" You asked.

"You and Kakuzu will be two-man team" He replied.

"What!?" You shouted. "Why the hell would that be a good idea!"

"You can watch over Kakuzu, and do missions that will increase our prestige, while the other jounin will do missions and take on students and bolster our ranks. You did teach him when he was a boy remember?" Hisen stated.

"For a few months when he was a chunin after his teacher died." You stated, your anger and shock still in your voice. "Hisen, I can't… I still need to choose my successor as the jinchuuriki, make arrangments with a sealmaster and choose a location so that the beast may be transferred from myself to my successor." You rattled off the reasons as to why you could not watch over Kakuzu, reasons that you had already completed years ago.

"I order you to take this assignment of watching over Kakuzu." Hisen's voice was stern, and his order, absolute.

You sighed, knowing you were defeated by rank. "Fine… Though I have to ask… how much of his memories did you rip away for him to recreate on his own?"

"He remembers fighting the first Hokage, and that he knows the Earth Grudge Fear but not much else besides being a loyal nin to Taki." Hisen replied.

"Where is he?" You asked.

"In my guest room." He replied. "He'll stay with you until he gets resettled in the village."

You stood up and bowed. "Yes, sir."

You didn't like this, not one bit.

But when you saw him looking out the window of the house… you just said the first thing that came to your mind. "Boy."

The man turned around and gave you a smile. "Hello, Master."

AN: Inspired by butterfly rolls I did a few hours ago to answer all sorts of questions.

Enjoy.

edit: Also, Damn I am on fire today.
 
It really doesn't... I'm serious, I want to follow it, but it's so confusing that i can barely comprehend it at times.

yeah, you may be right, but it's too bloody inconsistent for me to wrap my head around.

So in an effort to write a better story without being constrained by that confusing timeline... I am taking some liberties.
Heres my suggestion, where ever we find the time line contradicting itself, pick the branch you like least and say "Thats post third war propaganda."
 
calling the vote in 2 hours.
Adhoc vote count started by Magoose on Jan 9, 2019 at 10:43 PM, finished with 50 posts and 22 votes.
 
Mmm.

I'm not sure, you might want to wait for a clear leader to emerge...

Seriously though, this must be what the Cloverfield kids felt like.
Not knowing what the hell is going on while terrible shit happens around them and they can do nothing to stop it?

Yeah... You got that right.
 
Children's Crusade Brotherhood: Tunnels
Children's Crusade Brotherhood: Tunnels

The entrance to the Tunnels was indeed, guarded by two of the cities watchman. They were chatting to each other, their yari spears resting on their shoulders, the door closed.

When your group came forward towards them, they stood up straighter.

Sakumo and Ein led the way. "We want to go through the tunnels." Sakumo stated.

One of the guards answered with a swift whack of his spear on to Sakumo's arm. "Fuck off kid." The guard growled. "We aren't a charity."

Eien and Yuri jumped back, grabbing Sakumo before he could get whacked again. The spears went down, and they were pointed at the group.

"What's the toll?" Minako asked.

"Far more than what you shits are worth." The other guardsman said. "Now fuck off."

"How much is the toll?" Minako asked again, stepping forward and allowing the spear to touch her hand.

The guards did not raise their spears, but the question did take them by surprise. "10,000 Ryu."

Minako threw over a wad of bills. "Take twenty to forget we ever came through here." She stated.

The guards raised their spears and the first guard walked back. "Enjoy the tunnels, kids."

The laugh he made as he said that did not fill you with much comfort.

The door creaked open and it revealed a staircase going down, with candles lighting the path.

"Let's go." Sakumo said, and everyone tightened their packs on their backs and started climbing down the stairs.

You were the rear guard, trying to listen to any information that they would talk about before closing the door.

Instead, the door slammed shut, and you were forced to keep up with your friends.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tunnels were dark, dirty and damp. But thankfully, with Yuri and Eien leading the way, the possibility of getting out was very possible.

That was until you heard a noise. A screeching scream that echoed through the tunnel. A scream of someone dying.

"What the hell was that?" Ren whispered.

Jiraiya for his part did something incredibly smart. He screamed back. "HEEEYYY!"

Tsunade grabbed Jiraiya by the mouth. "What the hell are you doing?" She whispered.

You felt something off, but then again, the tunnel had been making you feel off since that door shut.

Then you were grabbed and forced against the wall. Along with everyone in your group, save for Jiraiya.

The light from the torches in front of your face burned and forced you to close your eyes.

When it was pulled away you saw… very pale men in tattered robes and… well, you didn't know what exactly they were wearing… Samurai armor?

"Surface dwellers." A voice said. "But one heard our screams and answered with his own. He knows our ways and to answer the call."

Jiraiya waved. "Uh… hi."

God dammit… This was going to end well, and your heads would be on the floor in a minute.

"Who are you?" A regal voice from the shadows asked.

When his face came forward, into the fire illuminating his face, you saw the glassy, milky eyes of a blind person.

Jiriaya The Magnificent Basterd: 1D100 => 90 vs 70

"I am Jiraiya the Gallant of Konoha…" you wanted to puke at the fact he just used the Gallant as part of his name. "I'm trying to get home with my friends." Jiraiya replied.

"And why are you trespassing in our dominian?" The voice asked again, the blade now inching towards him. "The surface dwellers we allow in here are few and are friends of our people. The rest are killed and fill the bellies of our dogs."

Jiraiya gulped, but you saw the gears in his mind turn, and a smile creeps up onto his face. What the hell was he thinking? "Because we heard the Tunnelmen treated their friends well."

Holy shit… He was actually trying to bluff them.

Jiriaya The Magnificent Basterd 2:1D100 => 100 vs 70

Jiraiya successfully negotiated safe passage through the tunnels.

"We do not know of one Jiraiya the Gallant of Konoha…" The voice started. "The name is foreign, and your smell is unknown to us, as is your voice."

"You are correct… I am not a friend that you may know… But I would like to be."

Jiraiya you crazy bastard… you really hoped it worked, and that these… nice people would let you go.

There was a pause. "Honesty from a child who merely wants a friend." He then looked to one of his men and whispered something incomprehensible in his ear.

"Tell me Jiraiya… for when you and your companions come to our tunnels again…" You were let go and set down onto the floor. "What shall we call you? Not your own title… but one for all of you."

"Crusaders." You said in Jiraiya's mind.

"Why that?" He asked, looking back at you.

"Crusaders are men and women of both Noble and common birth, united in one goal by faith and blood to save the world." You said, the memory from Aka filling your mind, the friends she had through thick and thin. The name Aka chose in a past life to be different than the monsters that rained them. "They endured hardship, war, politics, and being hunted by the entire world for something out of their control. They won."

Images flooded in your mind as the smiling, screaming and terrified corpses of Aka's friends were now with that of your friends and allies.

"Konoha's Cru...sad..ers." Jiraiya said the word with some stuttering.

"Crusaders… A good name." the voice said. "Do you and your friends wish to spend the night with our hospitality, Jiraiya the Gallant?"

Jiraiya nodded. "I'm sorry dear friend… But we need to get through your tunnels so we can get home."

The pale man smiled. "We can lead you through our… home, and let you out in the city."

"Actually." Jiraiya interrupted. "We need to get to Rain. Our home is to the east, and we'd rather not be in the city."

The tunnelmen nodded. "Then we shall lead you to Rain."

It was quite the entire walk to the tunnel because Jiraiya wouldn't stop smiling
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ground was muddy and you were met with rain falling down on your face.

"Thanks." Jiraiya said to the tunnelmen before he shut the trap door.

There were two roads that forked.

Where do you go:

[]Northeast Towards Konoha via Grass: You'd rather not have to deal with Ame and thier nin… going through Grass might be a good idea. You'd be out of Rain faster, but also might run into bandits.

[]Southeast Through Ame: It might be longer, and Running in to Rain nin might happen, but it would certianly be safer than trying to gamble through Grass.

[]Towards the Crater in the distance: A Battle took place here… maybe there's some loot.

AN: Enjoy... and holy shit Jiraiya... are you sure you don't have talk no jutsu?
 
[X]Northeast Towards Konoha via Grass: You'd rather not have to deal with Ame and thier nin… going through Grass might be a good idea. You'd be out of Rain faster, but also might run into bandits.
 
[X]Northeast Towards Konoha via Grass: You'd rather not have to deal with Ame and thier nin… going through Grass might be a good idea. You'd be out of Rain faster, but also might run into bandits.

As for Jiraya, every generation has a practitioner of Talk no Jutsu.
 
[X]Towards the Crater in the distance: A Battle took place here… maybe there's some loot.

I cannot resist the siren call of LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT~!!!
 
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