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Shards of a Broken Sun [Megaten/Shugo Chara/Exalted]
- Thread starter Baughn
- Start date
- Crossover
Chapter 1.12
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
She lacked the energy to object. And if she were being honest, the reason as well. The only reason Amu might have objected to Hotsuin's question was simple obstinance, that of a child not feeling sure adults were ever really on her side,but... she didn't want to be that child. Not really. Not now. She didn't have the energy for a facade.
"Okay," she said. She closed her eyes. It was easier than meeting his gaze.
She was sitting on the ground, her eyes sore and bloodshot, her muscles aching, her clothes ripped and burnt, and- and she'd had a long day. She was tired. That was all.
She opened her eyes again.
"Where to start?" she wondered.
Hotsuin didn't reply, but he did catch her eyes. He was looking rather intensely at her eyes, actually. She blearily blinked and then shook her head.
"Right," she muttered. "Sorry. Um. Do you mind if I ask my friend to come here?" And then, without waiting for a response, she raised her voice. "Utau! I need to talk to you!"
There was a pause, and then a burst of movement from the crowd, and a few moments later Utau was pushing through. Her cheeks were red, her face was sweaty, and there was a smear of blood on her skirt, but otherwise she looked fine. Until she saw Amu, and then-
Amu winced.
"You're alive," Utau said. "Are you- of course you're not okay. You look like- you look like hell. Are you hurt?"
Amu smiled at her, but it was a wan, watery thing.
"I'm glad to see you, too," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm fine. Just scratched."
Utau knelt in front of her, her hands twitching uselessly at her side, before finally reaching out. She slowly embraced Amu, her grip light and careful.
"I was afraid," Utau admitted, her voice quiet.
Amu hugged her back, a little tighter than perhaps was comfortable. Utau's body heat felt nice, and the touch grounded her. Amu rested her chin on the taller girl's shoulder, and just breathed.
"Sorry," Amu murmured.
"Idiot," Utau retorted. She pulled back, her expression fierce, but her eyes were misty. "Never mind that." She looked at Hotsuin, her expression puzzled. Then at Nadeshiko, who was leaning against her naginata, and beyond her, to the rift and all the various gesticulating... uniformed people. "What happened? We all felt something- weird, a little while ago. Then there was an explosion at your school, and... oh, Amu."
"I believe that's something we'd all like to know," Hotsuin smoothly interjected. He sounded a little stressed. "If we're going to resolve this- incident, we'll need a clear explanation of how it started."
He looked towards the middle school building, where the rift was still there, although weirdly pixelated—it shimmered as though overlaid with a soap bubble. The building, however, was done for. Fragments of concrete and other rubble still occasionally tumbled down from the roof, the entire thing was cracked, and-
A woman with short twintails was setting up some kind of oversized computer, which looked completely out of place on the damaged, broken pavement in front of the building. Several of the uniform-looking people they'd come with were carrying boxes of equipment back and forth, though none of it looked familiar to Amu.
Amu blinked, and then rubbed at her eyes, the water and her tiredness combining into a bad case of eyestrain. It all looked very official. And expensive.
She'd broken the school. And possibly reality. And at least one boy had died.
Amu didn't have time to get properly depressed, though, because Utau was right there, in her head, strenuously objecting to the very idea of blaming herself. It wasn't her fault! It was those- demons. The rift. All of it. They weren't having a conversation, not really—they were too tired for that, and Kana could've easily pulled her side of a conversation but Utau wasn't good at it—but Utau was bullying her, refusing to let her spiral into the loop of self-blame Amu knew she probably deserved.
And Amu was too tired to disagree.
She didn't want to, even. The feeling was a little weird, and she thought some fragments of Saaya might have gotten stuck to her. She needed time to process, and work that out, and- Hotsuin wasn't giving it to her.
"Okay," Amu said. "Okay. So. The thing. Um. I can't promise to know everything, but- I guess- yeah."
Hotsuin gave her a look.
"I'll explain everything I can," she said, shoving her thoughts into a kind of order. She leaned a bit harder against Utau."This is my best friend, Nikaidou Utau. She was involved in the fight, so I think it would be better if she hears this too. And, um, this is Fujisaki Nadeshiko." She motioned vaguely. "She was also fighting."
"Fujisaki," Hotsuin murmured. He turned towards her. "You're one of their 'daughters', then?"
Amu could plainly hear the undertones. Nadeshiko clearly could as well; she stiffened a little.
"Yes," she said. "And who are you?"
She didn't mean his name, obviously. Hotsuin hmm'd, a thoughtful sound, but didn't immediately answer. He looked around, fiddled with his phone, then seemed to come to a decision.
"JPs," he said. "We're an organisation that handles occult-related incidents."
Amu blinked.
"What, like... the government?"
Hotsuin's lips twitched.
"Part of it, yes. Officially."
Amu frowned.
"And unofficially?"
"Unofficially," he replied, "we still handle occult-related incidents. You can ask Lulu about it, as I'm sure you will regardless. Let her know I've told you she can talk. She'll feel less guilty about doing what she'd no doubt do regardless."
"Ah."
"As for myself," he continued, "I am the Chief. In practice, that means I make the final decisions."
Amu wasn't quite sure what to make of that.
"Hm." Hotsuin nodded, and then turned back towards Amu.
"So," Amu said. "Um." She took a deep breath. "First, the rift is- the rift might be my fault." Utau's hug strengthened slightly, though she said nothing. "I was having an argument with my friend, Yamabuki Saaya. She's... over there," Amu said, motioning vaguely towards her father. Who, though he was a bit far away for her still blurry eyes, seemed to have trouble deciding whether to watch her or the girl he was carrying. Saaya was still unconscious and Amu knew she ought to worry about that.
And she did. It was a sharp, fragmented sort of worry, because this just wasn't the first time she'd hurt Saaya. Or that Saaya had hurt her, for that matter. She'd thought of the other girl as a bully—like the princess types from her old grade-school, the ones that never really cared about anyone—but she'd been wrong. Or had she? Saaya had been a showoff, not much else. But no, this wasn't the time. She was explaining.
"The rift just- appeared," she said, her words coming out in a rush. "Between us, while we were shouting at each other. I- I think Saaya did something, and I parried it, and somehow it made the rift."
There was a long pause.
"Is that possible?" Utau asked.
"Unfortunately," Hotsuin agreed. "Although not with the force of two middle-schoolers, no matter how gifted."
Amu flinched, her cheeks reddening, and then slumped a little. She hadn't thought about it, but- Hotsuin was probably right. That was a stupid idea.
"That doesn't mean you weren't the final straw," Hotsuin added after a moment.
Amu blinked, and looked up at him. He looked back, straight in her eyes, his own slowly narrowing. It was uncomfortable, so she looked away, and-
"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice small.
Hotsuin didn't answer. Instead he kept studying her, his mouth set in a frown. Not like he was angry at her, though. More like he was... puzzled? Confused? She couldn't see his mind properly, and she was too tired to try. There was something like foggy glass panes between them and Amu wasn't sure she liked it. But he seemed confused, because-
"What happened next?" he asked.
-well, because he was talking like he was, mostly. Amu suspected she wasn't good at reading tones of voice, but that one was 'confusion', right? That was how people sounded on the TV when they were confused. He was asking simple questions, but his eyes kept flitting between her and Utau like he wasn't sure what he was seeing.
"We ran away," she said. "I had to drag her out, but the rift was getting bigger, and- the school was full of children, but Saaya was hurt. So once we'd gotten outside I helped her sit down, and- well, I healed her. She was coughing up blood," Amu said for an explanation. 'Healed her' was a super-oversimplification, but she couldn't remember what she'd been doing, mostly. It didn't make sense in her mind. Maybe she'd work it out later.
"Was that when the demons appeared?" Hotsuin prompted.
Amu looked uncertainly up at the rift.
"Um. I don't think so. Tadase was still indoors, holding it back-" She paled. "Tadase! He's still in there! Somewhere under the rubble." She tried struggling to her feet, and-
"Stay here," Hotsuin told her. "We'll deal with it."
"But-"
He didn't give her time to argue, because he was already speaking on his radio and Utau didn't let her go. Amu ran through her mental checklist of friends, then paled a bit more. Kukai! Kukai was—she looked around—over there, by the rubble, helping a pained-looking boy up onto a stretcher. He was fine.
"It's not your responsibility. You've done enough," Utau murmured, and Amu sagged against her.
"Yeah," Amu whispered. "Maybe."
She stared up at the rift. It was oddly pretty. So like a soap bubble. She blinked, and her vision blurred a little. Her eyelids were heavy.
"Amu?" Utau asked. "Hey, don't fall asleep yet."
"'m not," Amu mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. "M'just... resting."
"Right," Utau said, and shifted position a little, settling her chin on the top of Amu's head. "Just don't fall asleep yet, okay? Not until we know what's going on. And we can find a nurse."
"I'm not hurt," Amu muttered.
"Let someone else be the judge of that," Utau told her.
Amu grumbled something wordless, and then blinked. She was looking at a pair of shoes. Nice black shoes. And black pants. And-
She tilted her head back a little and was confronted with the sight of a very unsure looking Hotsuin. As well as Miki, and- Ami, her little sister, her eyes wide and scared as she looked around at the ruined school, at-
At Amu.
Amu struggled—and failed—to get to her feet, her thoughts jumbling together. She didn't want to look like this in front of her little sister. She didn't want her to be scared. And- and…
A small limpet stuck itself to her front.
Amu froze, then a moment later hugged her sister back. Ami was tearing up. Her mind at least was an open book and Amu could tell the smaller girl was afraid, but- but relieved. And proud. And… a dozen other emotions. She wasn't quite able to understand the mix of feelings, though, because her own emotions were getting mixed in there—she wasn't quite awake enough to sort out who was who. But Ami could tell she wasn't hurt, not seriously, and-
Amu hugged her sister, her eyes squeezed shut, and tried not to cry.
"I'm okay," Amu said, her voice rough, for the third time that day.
"Yeah," Ami mumbled. "'neechan, there was a monster! And it was a big one, and it was all like 'rarr!' and- and then- and then there was fire, and-"
"And Ami killed it," Miki interjected, her tone heavy.
"It was hurting Micchan," Ami said, her voice quiet. "'neechan, there was lots, and… yes… I killed them. So did Hikaru. And Yukari."
Amu just hugged her tighter, and looked up at Miki. Her other self was frowning.
"It was," Ami insisted, her voice getting stronger. "And 'neechan was fighting, and she was hurt, and- and I helped. Oneechan... you're okay? You're not hurt?"
"Not- not badly," Amu managed. "Just scuffed. I'm- I'm sorry."
"'sokay," Ami mumbled, and pulled back a little. Her eyes were still a little teary but her face was determined. "You're really tired, and sore." She looked at Miki. "Help her."
Miki let out a sigh, and settled down on Amu's shoulder instead. That freed up her sightline to Hotsuin again, reminding her that—yes, he was here, and- and he was looking at Miki, completely unbothered by Miki being a four inch tall flying mini-Amu with blue hair.
"Wish I could, but I think the only thing that can help her is sleep. Don't worry, little sis," she added, looking down at Ami. "She's fine."
'Fine enough', Miki added mentally. 'Amu, what the heck? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?'
'I'm not,' Amu replied. She looked up, and her cheeks reddened. 'I'm sorry, Miki. I was-'
'I can hear you, you know.' Ami pouted.
"We'll sit on you if we have to," Utau added. "You'll be fine."
Amu blinked, and looked down.
'You'll get photographed if you stay here,' she told them. 'Dad's here. So's a lot of reporters.'
Utau and Ami glanced over, and then shared a look.
'Neat!' said Ami. And a "So?" from Utau. They weren't leaving; they didn't even need to say. Amu felt a little silly from thinking that they might have, and… and she didn't really want them to go. They were warm and comforting.
"Thanks," she said.
"Yeah, yeah," Utau said.
Amu let out a chuckle. A moment later she realised that- yeah, she was tired, and Hotsuin was still expectantly looking at her, but Utau was still holding her and Ami was radiating relief at her. It felt good, and- she blinked, realising she'd lost a few seconds, and now Hotsuin was clearing his throat at them.
"Is this a poor time?" he asked, a little sarcastically.
"No, sorry," Amu said, her cheeks heating. She pulled herself upright. "Sorry. Just- tired. What was I saying?"
Hotsuin seemed to struggle with himself. After a moment he relaxed slightly, seeming to accept her answer.
"You said your friend, Yamabuki, was injured, and that you healed her. I have a mountain of questions, but—as I don't wish to spend time being shouted at—I'll keep them to a minimum." He sounded grumpy, which Amu thought looked out of character. Then again, she didn't trust her own judgement right now. "Keep your answers limited to anything you feel I should know, anything about the rift and anything about the demons you were fighting. Anything else can wait. Although I do have one other question..."
His eyes fixed on Miki.
"What are you?"
"Me?" Miki pointed at herself, her eyebrows raising.
"Yes."
"I'm... her," Miki said, motioning at Amu. "Well, part of her. One of her. Um." She glanced at Amu. "A chara. Name's Miki."
"Short for 'character', yes. There's another word for that." Hotsuin frowned, staring at Amu's eyes again. She was getting really uncomfortable with that stare. "Miki," he said, a moment later. "Who is Himamori Amu to you?"
Miki's eyebrows furrowed. "The name's Hinamori."
"Ah." Hotsuin didn't apologise, though Amu could feel a faint, muted sense of embarrassment. "Hinamori Amu, then. Who is she to you?"
"She's- my friend. And... my sister," Miki added. "It's complicated. We're the same person. Well, kinda. She's my true self, that's- she always was."
"Ah," Hotsuin said again. He looked towards Amu. "And she's... sane?"
Amu blinked.
"Er," she said, her mind blanking.
"Ignore that," he ordered. "It's plainly obvious. Two impossibilities in one day... and yet, not. How strange. What happened after you healed your friend?"
So she told him, and then she told him everything she remembered from being next to the rift—every little detail, even the weird mindspace ones she doubted he'd get, though he nodded along anyway. Nadeshiko took over shortly thereafter; she'd had a much better view of the demons and had actually managed to kill several of them. Utau had only seen the stragglers, but she'd taken down a handful herself. Ami, of course, had to take the opportunity to brag about her kills, and-
Hotsuin had stopped paying attention to her, because Nadeshiko, Ami and Utau were all talking over each other and trying to make sure that- that their parts in the fight were described properly, so Amu was slumping down in Utau's arms,her eyelids heavy, and-
She blinked.
And Hotsuin was walking away.
"Wait!" she called, forcing herself back into wakefulness. He glanced at her. "Saaya is- I have to-"
"She'll have a doctor look her over. The paramedics have already arrived," he added, motioning at a few ambulance-people, who were indeed hurrying back and forth with stretchers. There were an awful lot of stretchers. And kids on the stretchers. Amu hoped they were mostly okay, but- but- some of them, she couldn't feel at all.
She let out a little sigh, and rubbed at her eyes.
"She's hurt," she told Hotsuin, her eyes pleading. "I used the humpty lock to hold her mind together. It's, um, a small locket—she's wearing it around her neck. If they take it off she'll die."
"Ah," Hotsuin murmured. He was giving her an odd look.
"Can you have them look at her without taking the locket off? I don't know how it works, but Tsukasa—the headmaster—he might."
"Very well," he agreed after a pause. "I'll make sure it's taken care of. If you'll excuse me..." He took a half-step away, then stopped, sighing. Once again he seemed to struggle with himself before coming to a decision.
"Thank you," Hotsuin told her. His words were flat, emotionless, and yet there was a sincerity to them. "We'll do what we can do for your friend and your classmates. If she's taken mental damage then I assure you there are no doctors on the planet better suited for treating it than ours."
"Th-thanks," Amu said, blinking. He gave her a last nod, then hurried off, his hands on his phone.
Amu stared after him, wondering- and then-
He argued with a white-clad woman—she looked like a doctor—and then came right back, right as Utau was pulling her—half lifting her—to her feet. Amu's head was swimming by this point. The only reason she didn't fall over was Utau. She staggered on her feet, her head spinning.
Why was he back?
"Amu," Hotsuin said. Amu blinked at him and tried to focus. He sighed. "I have been told that I often miss the obvious. When you said that you were fine, I believed you." He looked at her, and she had a feeling she ought to be worried, because he looked annoyed. "This was obviously false. Would you like to go with your friend?"
To the hospital, he meant.
= = =
I mean, define 'hospital'.
[ ] Yes
- Amu is not okay. This is the only sensible choice in any reasonable universe. I'm not sure you live in one, and neither are you.
- Utau will certainly object to letting her go alone.
[ ] No
- Amu is fine, honest!
- Truthfully, there are no long-term drawbacks to her health if you choose this. The question here is whether or not you want to go with Saaya, on the face of it.
[ ] Write-in
"Okay," she said. She closed her eyes. It was easier than meeting his gaze.
She was sitting on the ground, her eyes sore and bloodshot, her muscles aching, her clothes ripped and burnt, and- and she'd had a long day. She was tired. That was all.
She opened her eyes again.
"Where to start?" she wondered.
Hotsuin didn't reply, but he did catch her eyes. He was looking rather intensely at her eyes, actually. She blearily blinked and then shook her head.
"Right," she muttered. "Sorry. Um. Do you mind if I ask my friend to come here?" And then, without waiting for a response, she raised her voice. "Utau! I need to talk to you!"
There was a pause, and then a burst of movement from the crowd, and a few moments later Utau was pushing through. Her cheeks were red, her face was sweaty, and there was a smear of blood on her skirt, but otherwise she looked fine. Until she saw Amu, and then-
Amu winced.
"You're alive," Utau said. "Are you- of course you're not okay. You look like- you look like hell. Are you hurt?"
Amu smiled at her, but it was a wan, watery thing.
"I'm glad to see you, too," she said, her voice cracking. "I'm fine. Just scratched."
Utau knelt in front of her, her hands twitching uselessly at her side, before finally reaching out. She slowly embraced Amu, her grip light and careful.
"I was afraid," Utau admitted, her voice quiet.
Amu hugged her back, a little tighter than perhaps was comfortable. Utau's body heat felt nice, and the touch grounded her. Amu rested her chin on the taller girl's shoulder, and just breathed.
"Sorry," Amu murmured.
"Idiot," Utau retorted. She pulled back, her expression fierce, but her eyes were misty. "Never mind that." She looked at Hotsuin, her expression puzzled. Then at Nadeshiko, who was leaning against her naginata, and beyond her, to the rift and all the various gesticulating... uniformed people. "What happened? We all felt something- weird, a little while ago. Then there was an explosion at your school, and... oh, Amu."
"I believe that's something we'd all like to know," Hotsuin smoothly interjected. He sounded a little stressed. "If we're going to resolve this- incident, we'll need a clear explanation of how it started."
He looked towards the middle school building, where the rift was still there, although weirdly pixelated—it shimmered as though overlaid with a soap bubble. The building, however, was done for. Fragments of concrete and other rubble still occasionally tumbled down from the roof, the entire thing was cracked, and-
A woman with short twintails was setting up some kind of oversized computer, which looked completely out of place on the damaged, broken pavement in front of the building. Several of the uniform-looking people they'd come with were carrying boxes of equipment back and forth, though none of it looked familiar to Amu.
Amu blinked, and then rubbed at her eyes, the water and her tiredness combining into a bad case of eyestrain. It all looked very official. And expensive.
She'd broken the school. And possibly reality. And at least one boy had died.
Amu didn't have time to get properly depressed, though, because Utau was right there, in her head, strenuously objecting to the very idea of blaming herself. It wasn't her fault! It was those- demons. The rift. All of it. They weren't having a conversation, not really—they were too tired for that, and Kana could've easily pulled her side of a conversation but Utau wasn't good at it—but Utau was bullying her, refusing to let her spiral into the loop of self-blame Amu knew she probably deserved.
And Amu was too tired to disagree.
She didn't want to, even. The feeling was a little weird, and she thought some fragments of Saaya might have gotten stuck to her. She needed time to process, and work that out, and- Hotsuin wasn't giving it to her.
"Okay," Amu said. "Okay. So. The thing. Um. I can't promise to know everything, but- I guess- yeah."
Hotsuin gave her a look.
"I'll explain everything I can," she said, shoving her thoughts into a kind of order. She leaned a bit harder against Utau."This is my best friend, Nikaidou Utau. She was involved in the fight, so I think it would be better if she hears this too. And, um, this is Fujisaki Nadeshiko." She motioned vaguely. "She was also fighting."
"Fujisaki," Hotsuin murmured. He turned towards her. "You're one of their 'daughters', then?"
Amu could plainly hear the undertones. Nadeshiko clearly could as well; she stiffened a little.
"Yes," she said. "And who are you?"
She didn't mean his name, obviously. Hotsuin hmm'd, a thoughtful sound, but didn't immediately answer. He looked around, fiddled with his phone, then seemed to come to a decision.
"JPs," he said. "We're an organisation that handles occult-related incidents."
Amu blinked.
"What, like... the government?"
Hotsuin's lips twitched.
"Part of it, yes. Officially."
Amu frowned.
"And unofficially?"
"Unofficially," he replied, "we still handle occult-related incidents. You can ask Lulu about it, as I'm sure you will regardless. Let her know I've told you she can talk. She'll feel less guilty about doing what she'd no doubt do regardless."
"Ah."
"As for myself," he continued, "I am the Chief. In practice, that means I make the final decisions."
Amu wasn't quite sure what to make of that.
"Hm." Hotsuin nodded, and then turned back towards Amu.
"So," Amu said. "Um." She took a deep breath. "First, the rift is- the rift might be my fault." Utau's hug strengthened slightly, though she said nothing. "I was having an argument with my friend, Yamabuki Saaya. She's... over there," Amu said, motioning vaguely towards her father. Who, though he was a bit far away for her still blurry eyes, seemed to have trouble deciding whether to watch her or the girl he was carrying. Saaya was still unconscious and Amu knew she ought to worry about that.
And she did. It was a sharp, fragmented sort of worry, because this just wasn't the first time she'd hurt Saaya. Or that Saaya had hurt her, for that matter. She'd thought of the other girl as a bully—like the princess types from her old grade-school, the ones that never really cared about anyone—but she'd been wrong. Or had she? Saaya had been a showoff, not much else. But no, this wasn't the time. She was explaining.
"The rift just- appeared," she said, her words coming out in a rush. "Between us, while we were shouting at each other. I- I think Saaya did something, and I parried it, and somehow it made the rift."
There was a long pause.
"Is that possible?" Utau asked.
"Unfortunately," Hotsuin agreed. "Although not with the force of two middle-schoolers, no matter how gifted."
Amu flinched, her cheeks reddening, and then slumped a little. She hadn't thought about it, but- Hotsuin was probably right. That was a stupid idea.
"That doesn't mean you weren't the final straw," Hotsuin added after a moment.
Amu blinked, and looked up at him. He looked back, straight in her eyes, his own slowly narrowing. It was uncomfortable, so she looked away, and-
"What do you mean?" she asked, her voice small.
Hotsuin didn't answer. Instead he kept studying her, his mouth set in a frown. Not like he was angry at her, though. More like he was... puzzled? Confused? She couldn't see his mind properly, and she was too tired to try. There was something like foggy glass panes between them and Amu wasn't sure she liked it. But he seemed confused, because-
"What happened next?" he asked.
-well, because he was talking like he was, mostly. Amu suspected she wasn't good at reading tones of voice, but that one was 'confusion', right? That was how people sounded on the TV when they were confused. He was asking simple questions, but his eyes kept flitting between her and Utau like he wasn't sure what he was seeing.
"We ran away," she said. "I had to drag her out, but the rift was getting bigger, and- the school was full of children, but Saaya was hurt. So once we'd gotten outside I helped her sit down, and- well, I healed her. She was coughing up blood," Amu said for an explanation. 'Healed her' was a super-oversimplification, but she couldn't remember what she'd been doing, mostly. It didn't make sense in her mind. Maybe she'd work it out later.
"Was that when the demons appeared?" Hotsuin prompted.
Amu looked uncertainly up at the rift.
"Um. I don't think so. Tadase was still indoors, holding it back-" She paled. "Tadase! He's still in there! Somewhere under the rubble." She tried struggling to her feet, and-
"Stay here," Hotsuin told her. "We'll deal with it."
"But-"
He didn't give her time to argue, because he was already speaking on his radio and Utau didn't let her go. Amu ran through her mental checklist of friends, then paled a bit more. Kukai! Kukai was—she looked around—over there, by the rubble, helping a pained-looking boy up onto a stretcher. He was fine.
"It's not your responsibility. You've done enough," Utau murmured, and Amu sagged against her.
"Yeah," Amu whispered. "Maybe."
She stared up at the rift. It was oddly pretty. So like a soap bubble. She blinked, and her vision blurred a little. Her eyelids were heavy.
"Amu?" Utau asked. "Hey, don't fall asleep yet."
"'m not," Amu mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. "M'just... resting."
"Right," Utau said, and shifted position a little, settling her chin on the top of Amu's head. "Just don't fall asleep yet, okay? Not until we know what's going on. And we can find a nurse."
"I'm not hurt," Amu muttered.
"Let someone else be the judge of that," Utau told her.
Amu grumbled something wordless, and then blinked. She was looking at a pair of shoes. Nice black shoes. And black pants. And-
She tilted her head back a little and was confronted with the sight of a very unsure looking Hotsuin. As well as Miki, and- Ami, her little sister, her eyes wide and scared as she looked around at the ruined school, at-
At Amu.
Amu struggled—and failed—to get to her feet, her thoughts jumbling together. She didn't want to look like this in front of her little sister. She didn't want her to be scared. And- and…
A small limpet stuck itself to her front.
Amu froze, then a moment later hugged her sister back. Ami was tearing up. Her mind at least was an open book and Amu could tell the smaller girl was afraid, but- but relieved. And proud. And… a dozen other emotions. She wasn't quite able to understand the mix of feelings, though, because her own emotions were getting mixed in there—she wasn't quite awake enough to sort out who was who. But Ami could tell she wasn't hurt, not seriously, and-
Amu hugged her sister, her eyes squeezed shut, and tried not to cry.
"I'm okay," Amu said, her voice rough, for the third time that day.
"Yeah," Ami mumbled. "'neechan, there was a monster! And it was a big one, and it was all like 'rarr!' and- and then- and then there was fire, and-"
"And Ami killed it," Miki interjected, her tone heavy.
"It was hurting Micchan," Ami said, her voice quiet. "'neechan, there was lots, and… yes… I killed them. So did Hikaru. And Yukari."
Amu just hugged her tighter, and looked up at Miki. Her other self was frowning.
"It was," Ami insisted, her voice getting stronger. "And 'neechan was fighting, and she was hurt, and- and I helped. Oneechan... you're okay? You're not hurt?"
"Not- not badly," Amu managed. "Just scuffed. I'm- I'm sorry."
"'sokay," Ami mumbled, and pulled back a little. Her eyes were still a little teary but her face was determined. "You're really tired, and sore." She looked at Miki. "Help her."
Miki let out a sigh, and settled down on Amu's shoulder instead. That freed up her sightline to Hotsuin again, reminding her that—yes, he was here, and- and he was looking at Miki, completely unbothered by Miki being a four inch tall flying mini-Amu with blue hair.
"Wish I could, but I think the only thing that can help her is sleep. Don't worry, little sis," she added, looking down at Ami. "She's fine."
'Fine enough', Miki added mentally. 'Amu, what the heck? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?'
'I'm not,' Amu replied. She looked up, and her cheeks reddened. 'I'm sorry, Miki. I was-'
'I can hear you, you know.' Ami pouted.
"We'll sit on you if we have to," Utau added. "You'll be fine."
Amu blinked, and looked down.
'You'll get photographed if you stay here,' she told them. 'Dad's here. So's a lot of reporters.'
Utau and Ami glanced over, and then shared a look.
'Neat!' said Ami. And a "So?" from Utau. They weren't leaving; they didn't even need to say. Amu felt a little silly from thinking that they might have, and… and she didn't really want them to go. They were warm and comforting.
"Thanks," she said.
"Yeah, yeah," Utau said.
Amu let out a chuckle. A moment later she realised that- yeah, she was tired, and Hotsuin was still expectantly looking at her, but Utau was still holding her and Ami was radiating relief at her. It felt good, and- she blinked, realising she'd lost a few seconds, and now Hotsuin was clearing his throat at them.
"Is this a poor time?" he asked, a little sarcastically.
"No, sorry," Amu said, her cheeks heating. She pulled herself upright. "Sorry. Just- tired. What was I saying?"
Hotsuin seemed to struggle with himself. After a moment he relaxed slightly, seeming to accept her answer.
"You said your friend, Yamabuki, was injured, and that you healed her. I have a mountain of questions, but—as I don't wish to spend time being shouted at—I'll keep them to a minimum." He sounded grumpy, which Amu thought looked out of character. Then again, she didn't trust her own judgement right now. "Keep your answers limited to anything you feel I should know, anything about the rift and anything about the demons you were fighting. Anything else can wait. Although I do have one other question..."
His eyes fixed on Miki.
"What are you?"
"Me?" Miki pointed at herself, her eyebrows raising.
"Yes."
"I'm... her," Miki said, motioning at Amu. "Well, part of her. One of her. Um." She glanced at Amu. "A chara. Name's Miki."
"Short for 'character', yes. There's another word for that." Hotsuin frowned, staring at Amu's eyes again. She was getting really uncomfortable with that stare. "Miki," he said, a moment later. "Who is Himamori Amu to you?"
Miki's eyebrows furrowed. "The name's Hinamori."
"Ah." Hotsuin didn't apologise, though Amu could feel a faint, muted sense of embarrassment. "Hinamori Amu, then. Who is she to you?"
"She's- my friend. And... my sister," Miki added. "It's complicated. We're the same person. Well, kinda. She's my true self, that's- she always was."
"Ah," Hotsuin said again. He looked towards Amu. "And she's... sane?"
Amu blinked.
"Er," she said, her mind blanking.
"Ignore that," he ordered. "It's plainly obvious. Two impossibilities in one day... and yet, not. How strange. What happened after you healed your friend?"
So she told him, and then she told him everything she remembered from being next to the rift—every little detail, even the weird mindspace ones she doubted he'd get, though he nodded along anyway. Nadeshiko took over shortly thereafter; she'd had a much better view of the demons and had actually managed to kill several of them. Utau had only seen the stragglers, but she'd taken down a handful herself. Ami, of course, had to take the opportunity to brag about her kills, and-
Hotsuin had stopped paying attention to her, because Nadeshiko, Ami and Utau were all talking over each other and trying to make sure that- that their parts in the fight were described properly, so Amu was slumping down in Utau's arms,her eyelids heavy, and-
She blinked.
And Hotsuin was walking away.
"Wait!" she called, forcing herself back into wakefulness. He glanced at her. "Saaya is- I have to-"
"She'll have a doctor look her over. The paramedics have already arrived," he added, motioning at a few ambulance-people, who were indeed hurrying back and forth with stretchers. There were an awful lot of stretchers. And kids on the stretchers. Amu hoped they were mostly okay, but- but- some of them, she couldn't feel at all.
She let out a little sigh, and rubbed at her eyes.
"She's hurt," she told Hotsuin, her eyes pleading. "I used the humpty lock to hold her mind together. It's, um, a small locket—she's wearing it around her neck. If they take it off she'll die."
"Ah," Hotsuin murmured. He was giving her an odd look.
"Can you have them look at her without taking the locket off? I don't know how it works, but Tsukasa—the headmaster—he might."
"Very well," he agreed after a pause. "I'll make sure it's taken care of. If you'll excuse me..." He took a half-step away, then stopped, sighing. Once again he seemed to struggle with himself before coming to a decision.
"Thank you," Hotsuin told her. His words were flat, emotionless, and yet there was a sincerity to them. "We'll do what we can do for your friend and your classmates. If she's taken mental damage then I assure you there are no doctors on the planet better suited for treating it than ours."
"Th-thanks," Amu said, blinking. He gave her a last nod, then hurried off, his hands on his phone.
Amu stared after him, wondering- and then-
He argued with a white-clad woman—she looked like a doctor—and then came right back, right as Utau was pulling her—half lifting her—to her feet. Amu's head was swimming by this point. The only reason she didn't fall over was Utau. She staggered on her feet, her head spinning.
Why was he back?
"Amu," Hotsuin said. Amu blinked at him and tried to focus. He sighed. "I have been told that I often miss the obvious. When you said that you were fine, I believed you." He looked at her, and she had a feeling she ought to be worried, because he looked annoyed. "This was obviously false. Would you like to go with your friend?"
To the hospital, he meant.
= = =
I mean, define 'hospital'.
[ ] Yes
- Amu is not okay. This is the only sensible choice in any reasonable universe. I'm not sure you live in one, and neither are you.
- Utau will certainly object to letting her go alone.
[ ] No
- Amu is fine, honest!
- Truthfully, there are no long-term drawbacks to her health if you choose this. The question here is whether or not you want to go with Saaya, on the face of it.
[ ] Write-in
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Vote closed
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
Not much of a surprise, but the vote was necessary.
With this voting outcome Amu isn't going to ask Utau to come with, but that has no real effect on Utau's opinion.
Ahaha... ^^;
There are two reasons why she looks that way. One of them is I needed some classmates for Ami, and using an expy is faster than making someone up from scratch. The second, and honestly more important one, is that making it an expy means the AI I use to render pictures from the story is capable of reliably drawing the same character... doing the same with OCs is possible, but deeply annoying.
But this doesn't add a crossover. I'm borrowing ... not even canon Misaki's personality, this is the one from Misekai. Except not, because she's seven years old, not an SI, and also not traumatized by "scientists". It's an expy; the distinction is important.
...it's also a background character.
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Limit
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
To clarify my thinking on the Limit system, then.
I'm refining what worked in version one. Which is to say: There is an explicit limit track, there is not a Great Curse. The limit track won't stop Amu getting burned out or showing human weakness, however; Amu is going to keep being Amu, and if she gets too stressed, she'll have the same chance of breakdown prior and post exaltation... assuming she exalts in the first place, to be clear!
(It isn't completely guaranteed that she will. Someone will, but it might not be her.)
Limit, as per Exalted canon, acts to counteract Things Man Was Not Meant to Know. If simply interacting with it would give the exalt brain damage, then it'll apply to the limit track instead. If something they do would cause mental damage... it'll apply limit instead. If you max out the limit track, the same rules as for purified Abyssal shards will apply—that is, a temporary reduction in permanent willpower.
None of this has any bearing on how the character will react to perfectly ordinary human stress. Suppressing a virtue—or, in general, getting traumatised—will have the exact same effect you'd expect from that character if they weren't exalted, except if modified through deliberate action. There certainly are charms or training which can help deal with it, but exalting on its own will not.
...
That is not to say that a mental breakdown in a Dawn-caste Exalted might not be slightly more destructive than the same breakdown in a computer scientist, but that's just sensible.
I'm refining what worked in version one. Which is to say: There is an explicit limit track, there is not a Great Curse. The limit track won't stop Amu getting burned out or showing human weakness, however; Amu is going to keep being Amu, and if she gets too stressed, she'll have the same chance of breakdown prior and post exaltation... assuming she exalts in the first place, to be clear!
(It isn't completely guaranteed that she will. Someone will, but it might not be her.)
Limit, as per Exalted canon, acts to counteract Things Man Was Not Meant to Know. If simply interacting with it would give the exalt brain damage, then it'll apply to the limit track instead. If something they do would cause mental damage... it'll apply limit instead. If you max out the limit track, the same rules as for purified Abyssal shards will apply—that is, a temporary reduction in permanent willpower.
None of this has any bearing on how the character will react to perfectly ordinary human stress. Suppressing a virtue—or, in general, getting traumatised—will have the exact same effect you'd expect from that character if they weren't exalted, except if modified through deliberate action. There certainly are charms or training which can help deal with it, but exalting on its own will not.
...
That is not to say that a mental breakdown in a Dawn-caste Exalted might not be slightly more destructive than the same breakdown in a computer scientist, but that's just sensible.
Chapter 1 epilogue
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
She said yes, obviously.
And then she fell asleep, so she didn't remember any of the trip. She woke up once, briefly, as someone lifted her onto a stretcher, and was about to struggle against them when-
Utau was there, holding her hand. Amu squeezed it.
She drifted. The stretcher was a nice smooth ride and the gentle motions made her sleepy, even in her dreams. Sometimes she heard her father's voice, or Ami's. Utau disappeared after a while. Amu would have liked her to come too, but her sleepy mind admitted that she wasn't family. Despite their history. Even though Amu would quite like her to be. Utau's golden hair would fit nicely in with her pink and blue.
That was a dream. But it was a nice one, one she clung to even as her mind fell further and further into the depths of sleep. Sirens rang in the background. She wasn't sure what it was. Probably nothing important.
She stayed asleep for quite some time.
⁂
Amu woke up.
Her ears rang. Her head ached, if not nearly as badly as it had the last time she remembered being awake—back at school with Utau hovering over her. Speaking of which, where was she? Or Utau?
She sat up, blinking slowly as she looked around. White walls. Teal floor, and a soft, syncopated beeping in the background, sounding somehow dulled. She'd been moved while she was asleep, which was maybe obvious, but... the memories were still coming back to her. She'd been completely exhausted; that was for sure, and Amu couldn't quite make sense of half of what she remembered from back there.
Oh, the impressions were there. The demons. Saaya, coughing up blood. Her father. Hotsuin. Saaya. Saaya!
Amu tried to sit up. She made it halfway before she was stopped by a gentle tug on her left arm. She turned her head, and-
A drip was connected to her arm, as well as- a number of other things. Monitors. Heart rate. Blood pressure. Oxygen levels. There was a needle under her skin. Amu's heart started beating faster. What was this? Why-
She didn't want to panic, but-
Then her eyes refocused and she saw Saaya sleeping in the bed sitting across from her.
Amu went still, and her breathing slowed. Saaya was alive. Alive. She was alive.
There was a small, black box next to the bed, sitting on a side table, with a single button and a speaker, as well as a paper note saying 'Push this if you're awake'.
Amu didn't push it.
Instead, she leaned back into the pillows and took the opportunity to study her surroundings. She was in a hospital room, and the beeping was, in fact, the sound of her heart. She'd- she'd survived. She hadn't felt scared at the time, not really. Not about her own survival. She'd had to save her friends, and the rest of the students. And the teachers, and the janitor, and everyone. It was kind of silly to have thought that, looking back on it, but...
She had saved Saaya, hadn't she..?
Amu sat up without stretching the wires attached to her arm, dropping one foot off the bed to balance on, then looked over at the girl sleeping in the other bed. She was wearing a thin, off-green hospital gown. Her skin was pale. Her hair had been cut, the long, wavy strands trimmed down to something like a buzzcut. There was a bandage on her head, and-
Her right arm was in a cast.
Amu couldn't see anything else, because the blankets were pulled up and hiding everything, but she could definitely feel the Humpty Lock underneath it—still sitting on Saaya's chest. A weight settled onto her shoulders and then Miki was settling herself onto her hair, and Amu looked up at her.
"Morning," Miki whispered. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired," Amu said. "My head's a little sore, but- not as bad as it was."
Miki nodded and settled a little further onto Amu's hair. Amu took the hint, relaxing a little.
"What happened? After I fell asleep?"
Miki paused for a moment.
"They took you to the hospital," she said. "You and Saaya, though Dad and Ami went along. Utau tried but-" Miki shrugged. "She wasn't allowed. They checked her out on the spot and let her go."
"She wasn't hurt, wasn't she?" Amu asked, her eyes darkening.
"A bit. She didn't even notice, so- not very badly, just some scrapes. I made Eru promise to keep an eye on her. She's been back a couple times."
Amu said nothing.
"The school's closed, by the way." Miki sighed. "Ami says the news have been reporting it as a gas explosion, but I caught Dad going over photos of demons while he was sitting here waiting for you to wake up, and I bet he's not the only one. He's a little shaken though," Miki added. "And they're definitely demons. I overheard the people in black—JPs—calling them that."
"I think I'm gonna have nightmares for the next week," Amu muttered.
"Same."
Amu looked over at Saaya, and Miki patted her shoulder.
"They'll figure it out. You did what you had to, Amu. We all did."
Amu swallowed. "Ami?"
"She's fine. She was really brave. She's with Dad, and- yeah."
"That's good," Amu whispered. "That's good. That's- Miki, she said she killed them. The demons. That's- that's wrong. She's a kid."
Miki didn't say anything.
Amu sat there for a while, staring blankly at the wall. Then her stomach growled, and her cheeks heated. She'd been sleeping for… she had no idea how long, but she was hungry. She'd missed dinner, and breakfast, and-
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Um, about a week," Miki said.
Amu's jaw dropped.
"They're probably gonna want to keep you in here a little bit longer," Miki added. "They had you on sedatives. Just to make sure, and-" She shook her head. "Your mind felt a little… weird, after the fight, and I've been a little dazed myself. Your cellphone's in the cupboard, by the way, but it isn't working here. I think we're underground somewhere."
"Oh," Amu said.
She turned to Saaya again, and this time she closed her eyes to focus on her. There were- there were bits missing. Saaya's mind had been cracked and broken, not so much 'hurt' as- 'jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing'. It was...
Broken. Burned.
Broken, and held together by a series of tiny, delicate, glittering threads. The Humpty Lock, presumably. It felt that way. She was too scared to actually touch the threads, though. There were a lot of them, and they looked very, very delicate. One wrong move, and-
Amu didn't know. Even the simple effort of looking at her was making her head hurt. Literally, not metaphorically.
But she was sure that whatever was left of Saaya wouldn't be the same, if she broke them.
"They said something about grade five mental abrasion," Miki told her. Amu opened her eyes and looked up at her.
"Which is... what?"
"Something to do with magic." Miki sighed. "Whatever that means to them. The same doctor said you had grade one, which is why they put you in here together. The room is supposed to help."
"Help?" Amu echoed.
"With healing," Miki clarified. "I think. I don't know. And they ran out of rooms. Amu, are you feeling alright?"
Amu glanced at Saaya, her eyebrows furrowed. Saaya hadn't moved. Her chest rose and fell, but- otherwise, nothing. Her face was blank, her eyes shut, and her mind was mostly silent. It felt a little like she was asleep. But it also didn't.
"Will she- be okay?"
Miki hesitated.
"We did our best," she finally said.
Amu bit her lip, but didn't argue. She was still tired, so she laid back down on the bed, and Miki wobbled onto her lap. Amu petted her and then closed her eyes, and-
Instantly fell asleep.
Again.
⁂
She was a princess, and princesses were supposed to be pretty, and she was. Her parents said so, whenever they bothered to notice her. Her father was almost never home, but when he was, he usually spent the time arguing with her mother. So she spent most of her time by herself.
Her parents had given her everything a child could ask for, so she'd grown up knowing she was the prettiest girl in the world, the smartest girl, the richest, and-
And a liar.
She didn't remember when the lying had started. She'd always been a princess. Princesses were pretty, and popular, and rich, and- and they had lots of friends. She hadn't been able to be any of those things. Not properly.
She'd wanted to be pretty. Her parents had bought her a lot of clothes, and toys, and- and stuff. It was a lot of fun, having everything she wanted. It made her classmates play with her, which made her feel good. But-
And the other kids didn't tell lies. Lies like "We're going to a spa, so you can't come visit", or "Isn't my hair pretty?" or "My parents love me more than anyone in the world".
They just didn't usually tell her anything at all.
⁂
Her father was reading in the corner when she woke up.
Amu stared at him for a moment, and he glanced up, and smiled.
"Good morning, Amu-chan," he said, closing the book.
"Hi, Dad." She wanted to say more than that. She wanted to say- a lot. About Saaya, and what had happened. She didn't. She didn't want to think about that because it made her want to cry. Saaya might never wake up and- and in a way that was her fault. She was the one who'd-
Who'd done what, exactly? Amu went over her memories of Saaya and couldn't find anything terrible. They'd argued, sure, but Amu had never said anything terrible. She'd never paid much attention to her at all, in all honesty. Maybe that was why, or maybe it wasn't.
A couple of seconds passed. Her father studied her, looking for… she didn't know. They stared at each other, until…
"Are you staying awake?" he asked.
She blinked. "Um, yeah?"
"You still look tired," he noted.
"Yeah," she agreed, and yawned. "A little. It's not bad anymore."
The wires and needles were gone from her arm. She was still wearing the hospital gown, but that was fine. She felt fine. The slight aches and pains from earlier had all gone away, which left her pensive and uncertain. She ought to be feeling worse than this.
"Are you okay, Amu?"
Amu bit her lip.
"I- don't know. How are you, Dad?"
Her father got to his feet and came over to her. He hugged her gently, and kissed her forehead.
"I'm worried about you," he admitted. "The doctors here- they know what they're doing, and well, you're not injured, but they're not telling me much." His arms tightened a little. "Amu, are you hurt? I mean- not physically, but you had me worried. A lot."
"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes burning. She couldn't-
"Don't be." He sighed. "Ami has been having nightmares. She won't stop talking about monsters, but the headmaster from your school found her a counsellor, I don't know where. There are a lot of people hurt, and... some dead. They haven't told us much."
"Oh," Amu whispered, burying her face in his shirt.
"Your school is closed, until the damage can be repaired."
"Yeah," she said, remembering Miki saying the same. She'd known, and not thought about it.
"They're still planning on running classes, though. Starting next week. Some arrangement with the neighbouring districts, they arranged it all quite fast... your class shouldn't get split up."
"Dad…" Amu mumbled into his shirt. She didn't want to know, but… "How long have I been asleep?"
"About a week and a half," he said. "More or less. You've been talking before, but this is the first time you stayed awake for more than a minute at a time. You had everyone worried."
He stroked her hair. She didn't pull away. She didn't really want to let go. She was shivering slightly, trying not to show it, but with his arms around her she couldn't manage that.
"The doctor said you're fit to leave when I came here today, though," he continued. "Assuming you don't fall asleep again. They've been ramping down the drugs, and… you'll have to have a check-up before you leave, and another in a day or two, but... you can go home. They could use the space, apparently."
"Saaya is..."
"Not doing very well," he finished. He sounded a little frustrated, and was radiating sadness. "Her parents haven't visited."
"What?" Amu asked, pulling back to stare at him. "They haven't- what? Why?"
He let out a sigh.
"I have no idea. They live right here in Tokyo. I phoned them to schedule the visits so we wouldn't disturb you more than necessary, but no interest." He looked at her, his expression earnest. "She's your friend, Amu. Did she ever say anything?"
"Um." Amu hesitated, and then shook her head. "No. Not about her parents. She's- we weren't close, Dad. I don't know that much about her."
He nodded.
"I see."
"Sorry."
"Amu, no. I didn't mean-" He stopped, and rubbed at his eyes. "Never mind. What matters is that you're healthy, and..."
His words faded out. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears trickling down her cheeks, and tried to remember. What was it Saaya had accused her of? 'Everything', yes, but... specifically?
In the classroom, with the rift just opening. She'd reached out for Saaya's mind, wanting to prod her and make her just leave, and... Saaya had felt it and gotten angry at her. Worse, she'd started crying.
Before then, when it hadn't even started yet.
"It's true," Saaya had said. "You all know it is. You just don't want to admit it. She's got her hooks into everyone. She's got the whole school wrapped around her finger, and she's not even doing anything. Just by existing, she gets her way. That's how Amu is."
What had she done?
She was an easy target. It was so obvious, she was so obviously lying about herself that even a cinnamon roll like Tadase would- no. Everyone could tell how fake Amu was. Saaya wouldn't have to do anything.
Why weren't they noticing?
She wanted-
She'd wanted-
To be loved. She was a liar, and no one wanted her, and she'd hated Amu for being better than her, and-
It was all her fault.
"Amu?"
Her nails were digging into Dad's back. She hadn't noticed until just then, and her nails weren't sharp, but there were tiny marks in the back of his shirt. Her throat felt hoarse. Her eyes burned. She hadn't noticed the tears, or the quiet, muffled sobs. The memories she was reliving weren't hers, they were—Saaya's, had to be—shrapnel from a mind that had shattered itself into pieces, but-
She'd caused it.
"Amu," her father murmured, holding her tight.
"I did it," she mumbled. "Dad, I-" She fell silent. He waited for her to speak, and didn't interrupt.
"It's my fault," she whispered. "It's all- I did this."
"How?" her father asked, his voice gentle, but that wasn't something she could answer. Knowing that Saaya blamed her wasn't the same thing as understanding what she blamed her for. And even if she had, Saaya had already been-
Was that it?
It couldn't be.
She'd been so jealous of her. Of all their classmates. She'd lived with that ugly emotion. She'd-
"Dad," Amu managed. "Can we come visit? To see how Saaya is doing?"
He didn't immediately reply. When he did, his voice was a little uncertain.
"Yes, of course. Why?"
"I need to- say sorry," Amu mumbled. "Even if she doesn't hear. And-" She stopped.
"Amu," her father said. He pulled back a little, his hands resting on her shoulders, and stared into her eyes. "If this was- whatever this was, if it's anything like your old grade school... look at me, Amu." She'd looked down, her face flushing. Her father didn't let her get away with it. He put his hand under her chin, raising her head until she was looking at him.
"Listen," he told her, his tone firm. "If you're blaming yourself for whatever happened, then- fine. But I want you to think about this, and ask yourself- did you want this to happen? Were you the one who did it?"
She shook her head, half-heartedly.
"Then don't take the blame for surviving."
"I wasn't- I didn't mean- Saaya, she's hurt, Dad. I-"
He hugged her.
"And you pulled her out of there. She'll live, thanks to you. Listen Amu. I don't care if she was bullying you, or- if you were bullying her, even." He stopped, and took a breath. "Was anything like that going on?"
Amu shook her head, her face flushed. "No, Dad. It wasn't."
"I didn't think so," he said. "Then whatever's wrong, it isn't your fault. That's all you need to know, okay? It's not your fault. Whatever happened, whoever did what they did, it wasn't you."
She buried her face in his shirt again, and didn't argue.
"Now," her father said. "You should get changed, Amu," he said. "The doctor's been very insistent that you not miss your meals. Your clothes are in the bag. Let's get you a shower, and something to eat."
Amu nodded, her voice too raw to speak. She managed a smile, then got to her feet. She felt a little stiff and sore, but it was a familiar sort of sore—the kind from practising football or gymnastics too much. Nothing serious. Her body wasn't protesting.
"Okay," she mumbled. "Thanks."
"That's okay."
"Um, can you... look away? I want to change."
Her father nodded, and turned towards the wall.
The clothes he'd brought her weren't inspired. Just one of her shirts, a light-green one with a few pink hearts on it, and a pair of jeans that didn't match. He'd probably packed them in a hurry, so Amu didn't complain. She was happy enough to get rid of the hospital gown and the shirt smelled faintly of detergent.
"I'm done," she said, once the jeans were buttoned.
"Good," her father replied, turning back.
They both paused, and stared at the bed, which was now empty. She'd slept there for...
"A week and a half?" Amu muttered, staring at the spot where she'd been lying.
"Just about," her father agreed. "You needed the sleep. Now, you need breakfast."
She snorted and walked over to the curtains, Dad hovering behind her, but behind them was- not a window, like she'd expected. Instead there was a large, flat lamp. Amu's eyebrows furrowed. Underground, huh. Speaking of which, where had Miki gone off to?
"Miki?" she whispered, just to check.
"Over here," Miki replied, her voice coming from somewhere above Amu's head. "I was exploring. They've got a lot of weird stuff. Hey, look."
Amu blinked.
Miki was flying over to her, her hair and clothes fluttering a little. Amu frowned, and then blinked again. The light behind her seemed to be shining through her.
'You're... see-through?'
"Yep," Miki agreed. "I couldn't get out of the room. There's something stopping me, like a bubble or something. Once I stopped trying to exist, it worked." She held out her hand, and Amu tried poking it. Her hand passed right through it, like it was air. "See?"
"That's..."
"Amu?" her father said, stepping up beside her. "Oh, the 'window'. We're actually underground. Underneath the Diet, would you believe it?"
She blinked up at him.
"Um."
"There's a lot of interesting technology. It's all very hush-hush though, so I wasn't allowed to take any photos. They're not telling us much about anything. I suppose demons are real? That was a bit of a shock."
"Yeah," Amu agreed. She stared at Miki, who now looked as opaque as she was normally supposed to. "They are."
Her father hesitated, wanting to say something. His mind was a mess, full of questions she couldn't—or didn't—pull out of there. In the end he didn't ask, and Amu didn't peek.
"Well, anyway," he eventually said. "We should probably head home."
"Yeah," said Amu. She could feel her stomach rumbling, but- "Can you give me a minute with Saaya first? Please?"
Her father nodded.
"All right. I'll wait outside."
"Thanks, Dad," Amu whispered, her voice thick. He smiled at her, then turned and left.
Amu waited until the door had closed and the footsteps stopped before sitting down on the edge of Saaya's bed. Saaya was still sleeping, the machinery still beeping its quiet rhythm. Amu didn't have the courage to try to wake her, so instead she sat there and held her hand.
"Saaya," she said. Her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat. "Hey, I'm- I'm sorry." She huffed. "I haven't figured out what I'm sorry about. Probably a lot of things. I wish- I don't know. I wish you'd told me. That you'd trusted me, I guess."
Saaya didn't respond. She didn't move. Her hand was warm, but not particularly responsive.
"I hope you'll get better soon, so you can tell me," Amu told her. She rubbed at her eyes, and tried to stop herself from crying. "I didn't- I didn't mean for you to get hurt, you know. You saved me," Amu said. "Or, I don't know. You were right there with me, and you kept the rift from catching us, and- and I'm really glad you escaped with me. I'm glad you're not dead. I'm really glad."
She leaned forward, her eyes shut, and tried to think of the words to say. There weren't any. Instead she just sat there for a while, holding her hand. Miki hovered next to her, waiting patiently.
There was one more thing she had to do before she left.
Amu focused. She had a vague idea of how to do it now. She couldn't fix Saaya—she couldn't repair the damaged portions of her mind, but-
Saaya had shattered, and some fragments of her mind were stuck inside of Amu. Not a lot. Bits and pieces. Amu had tried not to absorb them, and not to reject- destroy them—and she was pretty sure it had worked, but—there was still something there. A lot of memories.
"Look, Amu-chan, look," the girl had said, pointing at the small, grey lizard scuttling along the roadside. "Isn't it cute?"
Yes, it certainly had been. Saaya had been there as well, had laughed that awful laugh of hers and stalked away, but had been thinking something like 'it's so cute!', and... that was it. Just a single moment of happiness, followed by fear of Amu and annoyance that she couldn't stay.
"I can't fix you," Amu whispered. "But you can have these back."
It would have been so, so easy to change what Saaya would remember. Give her Amu's point of view as well—she and Charlotte had spent fifteen–twenty minutes chasing the little thing about, and it had been the most fun they'd ever had together. That memory would make her happy. Had made Charlotte's day, a week before her return to England. Amu had her phone number. Somewhere.
She didn't do that.
She pulled the fragmented memory out, leaving it as intact as possible. Fear and annoyance included. As soon as it was free of her, the Humpty Lock grabbed on to it and drew it inside itself. The fragments were absorbed. She felt Saaya's mind settle slightly.
'Did you see it, Saaya?' she thought. 'Didn't it look cute? Why didn't you say so?'
The girl didn't answer. Amu pulled another fragment loose, and another. Her mind had started aching by the end of it, but she was able to finish without losing too much time.
"Amu?" her father said, knocking at the door. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," she lied. "Just... yeah. I'll be out in a second."
She squeezed Saaya's hand.
"Bye, Saaya."
She patted Saaya's arm, then got to her feet. Her stomach rumbled and her mouth felt dry.
Miki settled on her shoulder.
"I'll come back later," Amu decided. Her father was opening the door, a concerned expression on his face. "Dad, I'm hungry."
⁂
It wasn't as easy as all that. There were tests. Reflexes, strength and hearing, plus more she didn't understand.
Apparently she'd burst her eardrums in the fight, and hadn't noticed until they told her. The doctor looked at her a little weirdly, but took her rapid healing in stride.
The doctor also wanted to do some scans in two days, or something. The words 'brain activity' were used. Amu wasn't a doctor, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't tell them much. Why, three quarters of her had spent years flying around as a group of chibis! How did you even scan for that?
...probably wasn't how it worked, but she'd take it.
Then, before they let her leave, she had to sit down and sign a few forms. There was a bunch of legalese involved, a few "non-disclosure agreements" and some other paperwork she didn't really understand, but...
Amu was distracted.
This wasn't a hospital.
They were underground; okay. Under the Diet. Sure, maybe that explained the couple of soldiers. They were dressed in black and yellow, but what else did you call someone who carried assault rifles? Not just the one, either—they were everywhere, guarding all the corridors that weren't marked with 'Observation', or 'Radiology', or... medical stuff, going by her father's mind. But 'mess hall'? Didn't that mean kitchen? Why did that need a guard?
There was also the fact that Amu wasn't getting much attention from the doctors. They didn't seem hostile, just... busy. Each and every one of them had that same dulled, foggy-glass-pane feel to their mind, so it wasn't like she could find out why. But she'd seen an upperclassman she vaguely recognised be rushed into what she thought was surgery, and- so she had a pretty good idea why. Her father hadn't mentioned it, and she wasn't sure if he knew, but...
Well.
"Dad?" she asked. He looked at her, and smiled.
"Ready to go?"
"Um," Amu said. They'd already checked out at the desk, but she'd gotten distracted. There were a lot of people here in the lobby, and she couldn't stop noticing them. Lots of parents. Some of them she recognised. One or two recognised her, and their emotions ranged from worried to-
"...yes," she decided, looking away. She didn't want to know why they were feeling envious.
"Amu." She blinked. He was looking at her, his expression serious. "You don't have to pretend. If you want to cry, it's all right."
"No," Amu said, her voice firm. She shook her head. "No. I'll be fine, Dad."
He stared at her for a few seconds.
"Okay," he said, taking her hand. "Let's go home."
= = =
They did.
Some of what happens in the following days is quite obvious. Some of it's not, and much will depend on what Amu chooses to focus on. She's got a week off from school, which her parents expect her to spend resting; but 'resting', of course, doesn't have to mean on the couch.
She also has a lot of worried friends.
What does she focus on? Pick as many options as you want, the top two will win. This affects both her actions and the story focus. Anything that doesn't get chosen isn't abandoned, per se; this vote is purely for the next week. Feel free to add subvotes or write-ins.
[ ][Focus] Lulu
- There's about fifteen increasingly worried texts from Lulu on her phone.
- Amu will obviously want to call her, and Lulu will half-heartedly try to hide her true involvement. It'll take more than one phone call to get through to her, but if she works on it, she's sure she can wear Lulu down. Especially with Hotsuin having practically OK'd it.
[ ][Focus] JPs
- JPs wants her back, to make sure she's healing properly(?). Which is nice of them, but Amu's pretty good at convincing people. And at sneaking around. Miki found a bunch of giant clockwork, and- she's curious, is the point. Might need a sub-vote to decide what she's most curious about, JPs or the demons.
[ ][Focus] Tadase
- Tadase is, predictably, unhurt. Tadase is, almost predictably, spending his time running from Seiyo student to Seiyo student to make sure they're alright. A lot of them aren't.
- Amu isn't sure she wants to join in with this, but she could at least get his perspective on the rift.
[ ][Focus] Ami
- Ami left half a dozen texts on Amu's phone, even though she visited. Most of them are 'please get better soon'.
- Amu's little sister is extremely cute, seriously worried, and concerningly okay with having just killed half a dozen demons. Actually, Amu hasn't had a proper talk with her about psionics in, um, she did do that at some point, right? Didn't she? …did she?
[ ][Focus] Utau
- Utau didn't leave a text.
- Instead she left a voice message that's an entire song. The lyrics add up to 'get better soon'.
- There's absolutely nothing happening with Utau, and that's precisely why visiting her sounds like a great idea. Two out of two parents agree, as do four out of five Amus. The fifth is asleep.
[ ][Focus] Kana
- There are no texts from Kana.
- The Scavengers said to come back in a week, and if she hadn't just nearly died, she would have. Kana must be worried sick… right? But she's not answering her cellphone.
[ ][Focus] Saaya
- Saaya is… unconscious. Amu will definitely visit, but that's about all she's sure she can do. If you pick this focus without a subvote, she will mainly spend the time worrying and trying to remember her life.
[ ][Focus] Tsukasa
- Amu knows—or has a good guess, at least—that the headmaster is precognitive, so… why? Just why? Did he not see this coming? She hopes that's why.
[ ][Focus] Nagihiko
- There's a single 'get better' text message, marked 'from Nadeshiko'.
- Last time Amu physically saw her, it was after she fought a longer fight than anyone else did. And now she's basically radio silent, nearly as much as during her 'studies abroad'. Something is up with Amu's best friend amongst the Guardians, more than the looming topic that has hung over the pair for the last two years.
—
That's a lot of focus options, and not a lot of other tasks. The reason is to let you pick a training option at the same time. I'll write down the full price list in an information post in a minute, but here's some considerations:
- Amu is treated as always having a teacher, for the purposes of training time. This does not mean that actually having a teacher isn't beneficial—if you can find a good one, that reduces the cost of abilties by 1 XP. This is only relevant for good teachers. Mechanically, they would need to (before training) have at least two more dots in the relevant skill/attribute/ability than Amu does.
- The list of psionic skills on Amu and Ami's character sheet is not actually exhaustive; it's only the set of skills that those two are capable of learning. You'll find other people to have different choices.
- If you want Amu to spend the time finding e.g. a good karate teacher or something, you can. You should put that in as a [Focus] action.
- If you want to spend XP, put [X][Training] whatever in your vote.
And then she fell asleep, so she didn't remember any of the trip. She woke up once, briefly, as someone lifted her onto a stretcher, and was about to struggle against them when-
Utau was there, holding her hand. Amu squeezed it.
She drifted. The stretcher was a nice smooth ride and the gentle motions made her sleepy, even in her dreams. Sometimes she heard her father's voice, or Ami's. Utau disappeared after a while. Amu would have liked her to come too, but her sleepy mind admitted that she wasn't family. Despite their history. Even though Amu would quite like her to be. Utau's golden hair would fit nicely in with her pink and blue.
That was a dream. But it was a nice one, one she clung to even as her mind fell further and further into the depths of sleep. Sirens rang in the background. She wasn't sure what it was. Probably nothing important.
She stayed asleep for quite some time.
⁂
Amu woke up.
Her ears rang. Her head ached, if not nearly as badly as it had the last time she remembered being awake—back at school with Utau hovering over her. Speaking of which, where was she? Or Utau?
She sat up, blinking slowly as she looked around. White walls. Teal floor, and a soft, syncopated beeping in the background, sounding somehow dulled. She'd been moved while she was asleep, which was maybe obvious, but... the memories were still coming back to her. She'd been completely exhausted; that was for sure, and Amu couldn't quite make sense of half of what she remembered from back there.
Oh, the impressions were there. The demons. Saaya, coughing up blood. Her father. Hotsuin. Saaya. Saaya!
Amu tried to sit up. She made it halfway before she was stopped by a gentle tug on her left arm. She turned her head, and-
A drip was connected to her arm, as well as- a number of other things. Monitors. Heart rate. Blood pressure. Oxygen levels. There was a needle under her skin. Amu's heart started beating faster. What was this? Why-
She didn't want to panic, but-
Then her eyes refocused and she saw Saaya sleeping in the bed sitting across from her.
Amu went still, and her breathing slowed. Saaya was alive. Alive. She was alive.
There was a small, black box next to the bed, sitting on a side table, with a single button and a speaker, as well as a paper note saying 'Push this if you're awake'.
Amu didn't push it.
Instead, she leaned back into the pillows and took the opportunity to study her surroundings. She was in a hospital room, and the beeping was, in fact, the sound of her heart. She'd- she'd survived. She hadn't felt scared at the time, not really. Not about her own survival. She'd had to save her friends, and the rest of the students. And the teachers, and the janitor, and everyone. It was kind of silly to have thought that, looking back on it, but...
She had saved Saaya, hadn't she..?
Amu sat up without stretching the wires attached to her arm, dropping one foot off the bed to balance on, then looked over at the girl sleeping in the other bed. She was wearing a thin, off-green hospital gown. Her skin was pale. Her hair had been cut, the long, wavy strands trimmed down to something like a buzzcut. There was a bandage on her head, and-
Her right arm was in a cast.
Amu couldn't see anything else, because the blankets were pulled up and hiding everything, but she could definitely feel the Humpty Lock underneath it—still sitting on Saaya's chest. A weight settled onto her shoulders and then Miki was settling herself onto her hair, and Amu looked up at her.
"Morning," Miki whispered. "How are you feeling?"
"Tired," Amu said. "My head's a little sore, but- not as bad as it was."
Miki nodded and settled a little further onto Amu's hair. Amu took the hint, relaxing a little.
"What happened? After I fell asleep?"
Miki paused for a moment.
"They took you to the hospital," she said. "You and Saaya, though Dad and Ami went along. Utau tried but-" Miki shrugged. "She wasn't allowed. They checked her out on the spot and let her go."
"She wasn't hurt, wasn't she?" Amu asked, her eyes darkening.
"A bit. She didn't even notice, so- not very badly, just some scrapes. I made Eru promise to keep an eye on her. She's been back a couple times."
Amu said nothing.
"The school's closed, by the way." Miki sighed. "Ami says the news have been reporting it as a gas explosion, but I caught Dad going over photos of demons while he was sitting here waiting for you to wake up, and I bet he's not the only one. He's a little shaken though," Miki added. "And they're definitely demons. I overheard the people in black—JPs—calling them that."
"I think I'm gonna have nightmares for the next week," Amu muttered.
"Same."
Amu looked over at Saaya, and Miki patted her shoulder.
"They'll figure it out. You did what you had to, Amu. We all did."
Amu swallowed. "Ami?"
"She's fine. She was really brave. She's with Dad, and- yeah."
"That's good," Amu whispered. "That's good. That's- Miki, she said she killed them. The demons. That's- that's wrong. She's a kid."
Miki didn't say anything.
Amu sat there for a while, staring blankly at the wall. Then her stomach growled, and her cheeks heated. She'd been sleeping for… she had no idea how long, but she was hungry. She'd missed dinner, and breakfast, and-
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Um, about a week," Miki said.
Amu's jaw dropped.
"They're probably gonna want to keep you in here a little bit longer," Miki added. "They had you on sedatives. Just to make sure, and-" She shook her head. "Your mind felt a little… weird, after the fight, and I've been a little dazed myself. Your cellphone's in the cupboard, by the way, but it isn't working here. I think we're underground somewhere."
"Oh," Amu said.
She turned to Saaya again, and this time she closed her eyes to focus on her. There were- there were bits missing. Saaya's mind had been cracked and broken, not so much 'hurt' as- 'jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing'. It was...
Broken. Burned.
Broken, and held together by a series of tiny, delicate, glittering threads. The Humpty Lock, presumably. It felt that way. She was too scared to actually touch the threads, though. There were a lot of them, and they looked very, very delicate. One wrong move, and-
Amu didn't know. Even the simple effort of looking at her was making her head hurt. Literally, not metaphorically.
But she was sure that whatever was left of Saaya wouldn't be the same, if she broke them.
"They said something about grade five mental abrasion," Miki told her. Amu opened her eyes and looked up at her.
"Which is... what?"
"Something to do with magic." Miki sighed. "Whatever that means to them. The same doctor said you had grade one, which is why they put you in here together. The room is supposed to help."
"Help?" Amu echoed.
"With healing," Miki clarified. "I think. I don't know. And they ran out of rooms. Amu, are you feeling alright?"
Amu glanced at Saaya, her eyebrows furrowed. Saaya hadn't moved. Her chest rose and fell, but- otherwise, nothing. Her face was blank, her eyes shut, and her mind was mostly silent. It felt a little like she was asleep. But it also didn't.
"Will she- be okay?"
Miki hesitated.
"We did our best," she finally said.
Amu bit her lip, but didn't argue. She was still tired, so she laid back down on the bed, and Miki wobbled onto her lap. Amu petted her and then closed her eyes, and-
Instantly fell asleep.
Again.
⁂
She was a princess, and princesses were supposed to be pretty, and she was. Her parents said so, whenever they bothered to notice her. Her father was almost never home, but when he was, he usually spent the time arguing with her mother. So she spent most of her time by herself.
Her parents had given her everything a child could ask for, so she'd grown up knowing she was the prettiest girl in the world, the smartest girl, the richest, and-
And a liar.
She didn't remember when the lying had started. She'd always been a princess. Princesses were pretty, and popular, and rich, and- and they had lots of friends. She hadn't been able to be any of those things. Not properly.
She'd wanted to be pretty. Her parents had bought her a lot of clothes, and toys, and- and stuff. It was a lot of fun, having everything she wanted. It made her classmates play with her, which made her feel good. But-
And the other kids didn't tell lies. Lies like "We're going to a spa, so you can't come visit", or "Isn't my hair pretty?" or "My parents love me more than anyone in the world".
They just didn't usually tell her anything at all.
⁂
Her father was reading in the corner when she woke up.
Amu stared at him for a moment, and he glanced up, and smiled.
"Good morning, Amu-chan," he said, closing the book.
"Hi, Dad." She wanted to say more than that. She wanted to say- a lot. About Saaya, and what had happened. She didn't. She didn't want to think about that because it made her want to cry. Saaya might never wake up and- and in a way that was her fault. She was the one who'd-
Who'd done what, exactly? Amu went over her memories of Saaya and couldn't find anything terrible. They'd argued, sure, but Amu had never said anything terrible. She'd never paid much attention to her at all, in all honesty. Maybe that was why, or maybe it wasn't.
A couple of seconds passed. Her father studied her, looking for… she didn't know. They stared at each other, until…
"Are you staying awake?" he asked.
She blinked. "Um, yeah?"
"You still look tired," he noted.
"Yeah," she agreed, and yawned. "A little. It's not bad anymore."
The wires and needles were gone from her arm. She was still wearing the hospital gown, but that was fine. She felt fine. The slight aches and pains from earlier had all gone away, which left her pensive and uncertain. She ought to be feeling worse than this.
"Are you okay, Amu?"
Amu bit her lip.
"I- don't know. How are you, Dad?"
Her father got to his feet and came over to her. He hugged her gently, and kissed her forehead.
"I'm worried about you," he admitted. "The doctors here- they know what they're doing, and well, you're not injured, but they're not telling me much." His arms tightened a little. "Amu, are you hurt? I mean- not physically, but you had me worried. A lot."
"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes burning. She couldn't-
"Don't be." He sighed. "Ami has been having nightmares. She won't stop talking about monsters, but the headmaster from your school found her a counsellor, I don't know where. There are a lot of people hurt, and... some dead. They haven't told us much."
"Oh," Amu whispered, burying her face in his shirt.
"Your school is closed, until the damage can be repaired."
"Yeah," she said, remembering Miki saying the same. She'd known, and not thought about it.
"They're still planning on running classes, though. Starting next week. Some arrangement with the neighbouring districts, they arranged it all quite fast... your class shouldn't get split up."
"Dad…" Amu mumbled into his shirt. She didn't want to know, but… "How long have I been asleep?"
"About a week and a half," he said. "More or less. You've been talking before, but this is the first time you stayed awake for more than a minute at a time. You had everyone worried."
He stroked her hair. She didn't pull away. She didn't really want to let go. She was shivering slightly, trying not to show it, but with his arms around her she couldn't manage that.
"The doctor said you're fit to leave when I came here today, though," he continued. "Assuming you don't fall asleep again. They've been ramping down the drugs, and… you'll have to have a check-up before you leave, and another in a day or two, but... you can go home. They could use the space, apparently."
"Saaya is..."
"Not doing very well," he finished. He sounded a little frustrated, and was radiating sadness. "Her parents haven't visited."
"What?" Amu asked, pulling back to stare at him. "They haven't- what? Why?"
He let out a sigh.
"I have no idea. They live right here in Tokyo. I phoned them to schedule the visits so we wouldn't disturb you more than necessary, but no interest." He looked at her, his expression earnest. "She's your friend, Amu. Did she ever say anything?"
"Um." Amu hesitated, and then shook her head. "No. Not about her parents. She's- we weren't close, Dad. I don't know that much about her."
He nodded.
"I see."
"Sorry."
"Amu, no. I didn't mean-" He stopped, and rubbed at his eyes. "Never mind. What matters is that you're healthy, and..."
His words faded out. She squeezed her eyes shut, tears trickling down her cheeks, and tried to remember. What was it Saaya had accused her of? 'Everything', yes, but... specifically?
In the classroom, with the rift just opening. She'd reached out for Saaya's mind, wanting to prod her and make her just leave, and... Saaya had felt it and gotten angry at her. Worse, she'd started crying.
Before then, when it hadn't even started yet.
"It's true," Saaya had said. "You all know it is. You just don't want to admit it. She's got her hooks into everyone. She's got the whole school wrapped around her finger, and she's not even doing anything. Just by existing, she gets her way. That's how Amu is."
What had she done?
She was an easy target. It was so obvious, she was so obviously lying about herself that even a cinnamon roll like Tadase would- no. Everyone could tell how fake Amu was. Saaya wouldn't have to do anything.
Why weren't they noticing?
She wanted-
She'd wanted-
To be loved. She was a liar, and no one wanted her, and she'd hated Amu for being better than her, and-
It was all her fault.
"Amu?"
Her nails were digging into Dad's back. She hadn't noticed until just then, and her nails weren't sharp, but there were tiny marks in the back of his shirt. Her throat felt hoarse. Her eyes burned. She hadn't noticed the tears, or the quiet, muffled sobs. The memories she was reliving weren't hers, they were—Saaya's, had to be—shrapnel from a mind that had shattered itself into pieces, but-
She'd caused it.
"Amu," her father murmured, holding her tight.
"I did it," she mumbled. "Dad, I-" She fell silent. He waited for her to speak, and didn't interrupt.
"It's my fault," she whispered. "It's all- I did this."
"How?" her father asked, his voice gentle, but that wasn't something she could answer. Knowing that Saaya blamed her wasn't the same thing as understanding what she blamed her for. And even if she had, Saaya had already been-
Was that it?
It couldn't be.
She'd been so jealous of her. Of all their classmates. She'd lived with that ugly emotion. She'd-
"Dad," Amu managed. "Can we come visit? To see how Saaya is doing?"
He didn't immediately reply. When he did, his voice was a little uncertain.
"Yes, of course. Why?"
"I need to- say sorry," Amu mumbled. "Even if she doesn't hear. And-" She stopped.
"Amu," her father said. He pulled back a little, his hands resting on her shoulders, and stared into her eyes. "If this was- whatever this was, if it's anything like your old grade school... look at me, Amu." She'd looked down, her face flushing. Her father didn't let her get away with it. He put his hand under her chin, raising her head until she was looking at him.
"Listen," he told her, his tone firm. "If you're blaming yourself for whatever happened, then- fine. But I want you to think about this, and ask yourself- did you want this to happen? Were you the one who did it?"
She shook her head, half-heartedly.
"Then don't take the blame for surviving."
"I wasn't- I didn't mean- Saaya, she's hurt, Dad. I-"
He hugged her.
"And you pulled her out of there. She'll live, thanks to you. Listen Amu. I don't care if she was bullying you, or- if you were bullying her, even." He stopped, and took a breath. "Was anything like that going on?"
Amu shook her head, her face flushed. "No, Dad. It wasn't."
"I didn't think so," he said. "Then whatever's wrong, it isn't your fault. That's all you need to know, okay? It's not your fault. Whatever happened, whoever did what they did, it wasn't you."
She buried her face in his shirt again, and didn't argue.
"Now," her father said. "You should get changed, Amu," he said. "The doctor's been very insistent that you not miss your meals. Your clothes are in the bag. Let's get you a shower, and something to eat."
Amu nodded, her voice too raw to speak. She managed a smile, then got to her feet. She felt a little stiff and sore, but it was a familiar sort of sore—the kind from practising football or gymnastics too much. Nothing serious. Her body wasn't protesting.
"Okay," she mumbled. "Thanks."
"That's okay."
"Um, can you... look away? I want to change."
Her father nodded, and turned towards the wall.
The clothes he'd brought her weren't inspired. Just one of her shirts, a light-green one with a few pink hearts on it, and a pair of jeans that didn't match. He'd probably packed them in a hurry, so Amu didn't complain. She was happy enough to get rid of the hospital gown and the shirt smelled faintly of detergent.
"I'm done," she said, once the jeans were buttoned.
"Good," her father replied, turning back.
They both paused, and stared at the bed, which was now empty. She'd slept there for...
"A week and a half?" Amu muttered, staring at the spot where she'd been lying.
"Just about," her father agreed. "You needed the sleep. Now, you need breakfast."
She snorted and walked over to the curtains, Dad hovering behind her, but behind them was- not a window, like she'd expected. Instead there was a large, flat lamp. Amu's eyebrows furrowed. Underground, huh. Speaking of which, where had Miki gone off to?
"Miki?" she whispered, just to check.
"Over here," Miki replied, her voice coming from somewhere above Amu's head. "I was exploring. They've got a lot of weird stuff. Hey, look."
Amu blinked.
Miki was flying over to her, her hair and clothes fluttering a little. Amu frowned, and then blinked again. The light behind her seemed to be shining through her.
'You're... see-through?'
"Yep," Miki agreed. "I couldn't get out of the room. There's something stopping me, like a bubble or something. Once I stopped trying to exist, it worked." She held out her hand, and Amu tried poking it. Her hand passed right through it, like it was air. "See?"
"That's..."
"Amu?" her father said, stepping up beside her. "Oh, the 'window'. We're actually underground. Underneath the Diet, would you believe it?"
She blinked up at him.
"Um."
"There's a lot of interesting technology. It's all very hush-hush though, so I wasn't allowed to take any photos. They're not telling us much about anything. I suppose demons are real? That was a bit of a shock."
"Yeah," Amu agreed. She stared at Miki, who now looked as opaque as she was normally supposed to. "They are."
Her father hesitated, wanting to say something. His mind was a mess, full of questions she couldn't—or didn't—pull out of there. In the end he didn't ask, and Amu didn't peek.
"Well, anyway," he eventually said. "We should probably head home."
"Yeah," said Amu. She could feel her stomach rumbling, but- "Can you give me a minute with Saaya first? Please?"
Her father nodded.
"All right. I'll wait outside."
"Thanks, Dad," Amu whispered, her voice thick. He smiled at her, then turned and left.
Amu waited until the door had closed and the footsteps stopped before sitting down on the edge of Saaya's bed. Saaya was still sleeping, the machinery still beeping its quiet rhythm. Amu didn't have the courage to try to wake her, so instead she sat there and held her hand.
"Saaya," she said. Her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat. "Hey, I'm- I'm sorry." She huffed. "I haven't figured out what I'm sorry about. Probably a lot of things. I wish- I don't know. I wish you'd told me. That you'd trusted me, I guess."
Saaya didn't respond. She didn't move. Her hand was warm, but not particularly responsive.
"I hope you'll get better soon, so you can tell me," Amu told her. She rubbed at her eyes, and tried to stop herself from crying. "I didn't- I didn't mean for you to get hurt, you know. You saved me," Amu said. "Or, I don't know. You were right there with me, and you kept the rift from catching us, and- and I'm really glad you escaped with me. I'm glad you're not dead. I'm really glad."
She leaned forward, her eyes shut, and tried to think of the words to say. There weren't any. Instead she just sat there for a while, holding her hand. Miki hovered next to her, waiting patiently.
There was one more thing she had to do before she left.
Amu focused. She had a vague idea of how to do it now. She couldn't fix Saaya—she couldn't repair the damaged portions of her mind, but-
Saaya had shattered, and some fragments of her mind were stuck inside of Amu. Not a lot. Bits and pieces. Amu had tried not to absorb them, and not to reject- destroy them—and she was pretty sure it had worked, but—there was still something there. A lot of memories.
"Look, Amu-chan, look," the girl had said, pointing at the small, grey lizard scuttling along the roadside. "Isn't it cute?"
Yes, it certainly had been. Saaya had been there as well, had laughed that awful laugh of hers and stalked away, but had been thinking something like 'it's so cute!', and... that was it. Just a single moment of happiness, followed by fear of Amu and annoyance that she couldn't stay.
"I can't fix you," Amu whispered. "But you can have these back."
It would have been so, so easy to change what Saaya would remember. Give her Amu's point of view as well—she and Charlotte had spent fifteen–twenty minutes chasing the little thing about, and it had been the most fun they'd ever had together. That memory would make her happy. Had made Charlotte's day, a week before her return to England. Amu had her phone number. Somewhere.
She didn't do that.
She pulled the fragmented memory out, leaving it as intact as possible. Fear and annoyance included. As soon as it was free of her, the Humpty Lock grabbed on to it and drew it inside itself. The fragments were absorbed. She felt Saaya's mind settle slightly.
'Did you see it, Saaya?' she thought. 'Didn't it look cute? Why didn't you say so?'
The girl didn't answer. Amu pulled another fragment loose, and another. Her mind had started aching by the end of it, but she was able to finish without losing too much time.
"Amu?" her father said, knocking at the door. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," she lied. "Just... yeah. I'll be out in a second."
She squeezed Saaya's hand.
"Bye, Saaya."
She patted Saaya's arm, then got to her feet. Her stomach rumbled and her mouth felt dry.
Miki settled on her shoulder.
"I'll come back later," Amu decided. Her father was opening the door, a concerned expression on his face. "Dad, I'm hungry."
⁂
It wasn't as easy as all that. There were tests. Reflexes, strength and hearing, plus more she didn't understand.
Apparently she'd burst her eardrums in the fight, and hadn't noticed until they told her. The doctor looked at her a little weirdly, but took her rapid healing in stride.
The doctor also wanted to do some scans in two days, or something. The words 'brain activity' were used. Amu wasn't a doctor, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't tell them much. Why, three quarters of her had spent years flying around as a group of chibis! How did you even scan for that?
...probably wasn't how it worked, but she'd take it.
Then, before they let her leave, she had to sit down and sign a few forms. There was a bunch of legalese involved, a few "non-disclosure agreements" and some other paperwork she didn't really understand, but...
Amu was distracted.
This wasn't a hospital.
They were underground; okay. Under the Diet. Sure, maybe that explained the couple of soldiers. They were dressed in black and yellow, but what else did you call someone who carried assault rifles? Not just the one, either—they were everywhere, guarding all the corridors that weren't marked with 'Observation', or 'Radiology', or... medical stuff, going by her father's mind. But 'mess hall'? Didn't that mean kitchen? Why did that need a guard?
There was also the fact that Amu wasn't getting much attention from the doctors. They didn't seem hostile, just... busy. Each and every one of them had that same dulled, foggy-glass-pane feel to their mind, so it wasn't like she could find out why. But she'd seen an upperclassman she vaguely recognised be rushed into what she thought was surgery, and- so she had a pretty good idea why. Her father hadn't mentioned it, and she wasn't sure if he knew, but...
Well.
"Dad?" she asked. He looked at her, and smiled.
"Ready to go?"
"Um," Amu said. They'd already checked out at the desk, but she'd gotten distracted. There were a lot of people here in the lobby, and she couldn't stop noticing them. Lots of parents. Some of them she recognised. One or two recognised her, and their emotions ranged from worried to-
"...yes," she decided, looking away. She didn't want to know why they were feeling envious.
"Amu." She blinked. He was looking at her, his expression serious. "You don't have to pretend. If you want to cry, it's all right."
"No," Amu said, her voice firm. She shook her head. "No. I'll be fine, Dad."
He stared at her for a few seconds.
"Okay," he said, taking her hand. "Let's go home."
= = =
They did.
Some of what happens in the following days is quite obvious. Some of it's not, and much will depend on what Amu chooses to focus on. She's got a week off from school, which her parents expect her to spend resting; but 'resting', of course, doesn't have to mean on the couch.
She also has a lot of worried friends.
What does she focus on? Pick as many options as you want, the top two will win. This affects both her actions and the story focus. Anything that doesn't get chosen isn't abandoned, per se; this vote is purely for the next week. Feel free to add subvotes or write-ins.
[ ][Focus] Lulu
- There's about fifteen increasingly worried texts from Lulu on her phone.
- Amu will obviously want to call her, and Lulu will half-heartedly try to hide her true involvement. It'll take more than one phone call to get through to her, but if she works on it, she's sure she can wear Lulu down. Especially with Hotsuin having practically OK'd it.
[ ][Focus] JPs
- JPs wants her back, to make sure she's healing properly(?). Which is nice of them, but Amu's pretty good at convincing people. And at sneaking around. Miki found a bunch of giant clockwork, and- she's curious, is the point. Might need a sub-vote to decide what she's most curious about, JPs or the demons.
[ ][Focus] Tadase
- Tadase is, predictably, unhurt. Tadase is, almost predictably, spending his time running from Seiyo student to Seiyo student to make sure they're alright. A lot of them aren't.
- Amu isn't sure she wants to join in with this, but she could at least get his perspective on the rift.
[ ][Focus] Ami
- Ami left half a dozen texts on Amu's phone, even though she visited. Most of them are 'please get better soon'.
- Amu's little sister is extremely cute, seriously worried, and concerningly okay with having just killed half a dozen demons. Actually, Amu hasn't had a proper talk with her about psionics in, um, she did do that at some point, right? Didn't she? …did she?
[ ][Focus] Utau
- Utau didn't leave a text.
- Instead she left a voice message that's an entire song. The lyrics add up to 'get better soon'.
- There's absolutely nothing happening with Utau, and that's precisely why visiting her sounds like a great idea. Two out of two parents agree, as do four out of five Amus. The fifth is asleep.
[ ][Focus] Kana
- There are no texts from Kana.
- The Scavengers said to come back in a week, and if she hadn't just nearly died, she would have. Kana must be worried sick… right? But she's not answering her cellphone.
[ ][Focus] Saaya
- Saaya is… unconscious. Amu will definitely visit, but that's about all she's sure she can do. If you pick this focus without a subvote, she will mainly spend the time worrying and trying to remember her life.
[ ][Focus] Tsukasa
- Amu knows—or has a good guess, at least—that the headmaster is precognitive, so… why? Just why? Did he not see this coming? She hopes that's why.
[ ][Focus] Nagihiko
- There's a single 'get better' text message, marked 'from Nadeshiko'.
- Last time Amu physically saw her, it was after she fought a longer fight than anyone else did. And now she's basically radio silent, nearly as much as during her 'studies abroad'. Something is up with Amu's best friend amongst the Guardians, more than the looming topic that has hung over the pair for the last two years.
—
That's a lot of focus options, and not a lot of other tasks. The reason is to let you pick a training option at the same time. I'll write down the full price list in an information post in a minute, but here's some considerations:
- Amu is treated as always having a teacher, for the purposes of training time. This does not mean that actually having a teacher isn't beneficial—if you can find a good one, that reduces the cost of abilties by 1 XP. This is only relevant for good teachers. Mechanically, they would need to (before training) have at least two more dots in the relevant skill/attribute/ability than Amu does.
- The list of psionic skills on Amu and Ami's character sheet is not actually exhaustive; it's only the set of skills that those two are capable of learning. You'll find other people to have different choices.
- If you want Amu to spend the time finding e.g. a good karate teacher or something, you can. You should put that in as a [Focus] action.
- If you want to spend XP, put [X][Training] whatever in your vote.
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XP / Training rules
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
XP Pools:
At the time of writing, the game is still in its introductory phase. Long-term the plan is for each major character to have their own XP pool, as well as one pool that's shared between every, and can be spent on any of the major characters.
However, right now the only major character is Amu. Once that changes I'll cut the XP pool in half, and move half of it to Amu's character sheet.
Rules for gaining XP:
The story is (intended to be) split into somewhat self-contained arcs about half the size of arc 1, focusing on a specific scenario—as vague as that may sound. The basic reward for surviving one such arc is 4 to 6 XP, depending on length. If it should be more than 6, then... well, that's my problem; clearly there's an issue with pacing or organisation in that case. So there's your baseline; the math gets more complicated with more characters, but that's a worry for later.
(Specifically: That should be 4–6 XP per major character deeply involved, with half the total moved to the common pool. Unless the simulator says 'no'.)
In addition to that, there's a couple of ways to gain XP outside of that flow:
- If you do something that makes half the thread gape, that's worth a point of XP regardless of what it is. Most likely it's a good write-in, but an omake that's promoted to side-story status would also count, et cetera. This is a 'know it when I see it' bonus, and the standard hasn't quite been reached yet.
- All three-dot stunts give 1 XP, regardless of whether or not they're successful. This is addition to the willpower / mote award, not instead. This can only be awarded once per arc.
- Achieving a major, long-term goal is worth 5 XP. Said goal must have been explicit for at least one arc, ideally more. It can be an intrinsic story element or an explicit goal of the questors, so long as the story in fact has been moving in that direction for that time. Again, this is a 'know it when I see it' award—but it's more likely to happen if you as readers work towards it. This is a quest; take control of the story!
Rules for spending XP (for psionics):
For all human psionics, these are the same as for a solar exalted with no caste and no favoured skill. Training time assumes 8 hours spent per day; unfortunately, schoolchildren are lucky to get 2. Training time cannot usually be bypassed, but a stunt may let it overlap with what Amu (or others) are already doing.
All psionics are treated as always having a teacher. However, if they actually have a teacher—defined as someone who can spend a minimum of 2 hours per 8 spent practicing, and also has at least 2 dots beyond the student's [rating]—then the cost of training an ability is reduced by 1 XP.
In addition, psionics can skip the training time at most once per arc in an acutely stressful situation in which they desperately need a specific skill or ability. This doubles the XP cost, and may have other consequences.
[rating] refers to the current rating, prior to training.
Attributes: [rating]*4 XP, [rating] months
Abilities: [rating]*2 XP, [rating] weeks
Psionic skill: max(1, [rating-1]) XP, [rating] weeks
Willpower: [rating]*2 XP, immediate
New ability: 3 XP, 3 weeks
New p. skill: 2 XP, 2 weeks (Special note: Only skills with 0 dots can be upgraded this way. Not all characters can learn all skills.)
Ability / Skill specialisation: 3 XP, 3 weeks
At the time of writing, the game is still in its introductory phase. Long-term the plan is for each major character to have their own XP pool, as well as one pool that's shared between every, and can be spent on any of the major characters.
However, right now the only major character is Amu. Once that changes I'll cut the XP pool in half, and move half of it to Amu's character sheet.
Rules for gaining XP:
The story is (intended to be) split into somewhat self-contained arcs about half the size of arc 1, focusing on a specific scenario—as vague as that may sound. The basic reward for surviving one such arc is 4 to 6 XP, depending on length. If it should be more than 6, then... well, that's my problem; clearly there's an issue with pacing or organisation in that case. So there's your baseline; the math gets more complicated with more characters, but that's a worry for later.
(Specifically: That should be 4–6 XP per major character deeply involved, with half the total moved to the common pool. Unless the simulator says 'no'.)
In addition to that, there's a couple of ways to gain XP outside of that flow:
- If you do something that makes half the thread gape, that's worth a point of XP regardless of what it is. Most likely it's a good write-in, but an omake that's promoted to side-story status would also count, et cetera. This is a 'know it when I see it' bonus, and the standard hasn't quite been reached yet.
- All three-dot stunts give 1 XP, regardless of whether or not they're successful. This is addition to the willpower / mote award, not instead. This can only be awarded once per arc.
- Achieving a major, long-term goal is worth 5 XP. Said goal must have been explicit for at least one arc, ideally more. It can be an intrinsic story element or an explicit goal of the questors, so long as the story in fact has been moving in that direction for that time. Again, this is a 'know it when I see it' award—but it's more likely to happen if you as readers work towards it. This is a quest; take control of the story!
Rules for spending XP (for psionics):
For all human psionics, these are the same as for a solar exalted with no caste and no favoured skill. Training time assumes 8 hours spent per day; unfortunately, schoolchildren are lucky to get 2. Training time cannot usually be bypassed, but a stunt may let it overlap with what Amu (or others) are already doing.
All psionics are treated as always having a teacher. However, if they actually have a teacher—defined as someone who can spend a minimum of 2 hours per 8 spent practicing, and also has at least 2 dots beyond the student's [rating]—then the cost of training an ability is reduced by 1 XP.
In addition, psionics can skip the training time at most once per arc in an acutely stressful situation in which they desperately need a specific skill or ability. This doubles the XP cost, and may have other consequences.
[rating] refers to the current rating, prior to training.
Attributes: [rating]*4 XP, [rating] months
Abilities: [rating]*2 XP, [rating] weeks
Psionic skill: max(1, [rating-1]) XP, [rating] weeks
Willpower: [rating]*2 XP, immediate
New ability: 3 XP, 3 weeks
New p. skill: 2 XP, 2 weeks (Special note: Only skills with 0 dots can be upgraded this way. Not all characters can learn all skills.)
Ability / Skill specialisation: 3 XP, 3 weeks
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Training time overlap
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
It's the reduction in training time, as a percentage of total... um, a worked example might be best here. This will all be staggeringly obvious once there is some output to look at, I hope, so-
Let's say Amu is attempting to train Integrity 3 at the same time as Dreamwalking 2, and you've somehow stunted them into a 25% overlap. The base training time for I3 is 2 (Amu: 8) weeks (96 hours); for DW2, it's 1 (Amu: 4) weeks -- 48 hours.
It's dreamwalking, so Amu gets the base 2 hours of practice per day, plus 30 minutes while asleep. Not a lot, but any more than that would be dangerous given the nature of the Dreamlands. Doing it while fully lucid is a large safety boost. Note that the stunt means the base 2h/day is already 2.5h/day, even for the part of this that's practicing Integrity.
If she was doing this with 0% overlap, she'd need a little over 8.2 weeks total. With 25% overlap, it's 8.2 / 1.25 instead; about 6.5 weeks. With a hypothetical 100% overlap there'd be no penalty for doing two things at once, and the training would finish in 4 weeks...
... but that assumes all the training finishes simultaneously, which wouldn't happen. DW2 has half the cost of I3.
= = =
The best way to think about this is probably like the research screen in a 4X game. You get a certain number of "research points" (free time Amu chooses to spend on training) per week, which can be allocated towards one or more goals. You get bonus income for stunts that let her allocate more time, whether that's "training in your sleep" or "convince mom and dad she totally isn't traumatized, honest, practicing martial arts for four hours per day is just a hobby". You get a multiplicative bonus for spending the time more effectively, e.g. by doing something that trains two related skills at once.
So for the calculation above, it becomes:
- Base 2h of training
- + 0.5 hours at night
- * 125% for the 25% overlap
= 3.125 effective hours spent training Dreamwalking & Integrity
Which then gets split in half, for 1.5625 hours, per day, for each of the two level-ups.
With a total cost of 48 hours for leveling up Dreamwalking, that makes it 31 days before she's done. At that point the 'research income' reverts to being 2.5 hours per day, all of which is assigned to Integrity.
... and no, you can't balance that out by spending less time on one than the other. Mostly because this spreadsheet is already complicated enough.
= = =
However... realistically this is a quest, not a computer game. I don't mind seeing lots of discussion. But if you're trying too hard to min-max then you're forgetting about the first rule: Vote for the story you want to read. Stunts exist for that reason, not to let you min-max better, and I promise I'm not such a harsh QM that you'll regret leaving a few percentage points on the floor.
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Voting semi-closed
Vote closed
In the distance: 0.2
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
There is an order to Creation. From innermost to outermost, the rings are named.
The First Ring, Yu-Shan, is the centre of all, the home of the gods. It is the foundation of reality. It is the first and greatest creation, and therefore, it is the greatest authority on the proper order of things.
The Second Ring, the Blessed Isle, is the terrestrial centre, the place where the will of the gods is carried out by the hands of heroes. As such, it is the second great authority. It stretches eight thousand by ten thousand miles across, though it was once larger. Only in the databanks of Shard 0-60 and its kin are its specifications recorded, using terms that no longer have meaning to the denizens of Creation.
The Third Ring is no more. It was where mortals lived, and as such, was the gameboard where the Primordials played their war. The death throes of those titanic entities tore the Third Ring into fragments, and some are still drifting. The Raksha now play where the Primordials once did, and they are not known for their neatness.
The Fourth Ring, the purity of chaos, is the outermost. It is the border between All That Is and the Outside. Its only inhabitants are the true Raksha, those who were never tempted into the illusions of form, and those who have yet to be born into Creation.
There is no Fifth Ring. The Fourth is bordered by the Shinma, who do not exist, but whose nonexistence defines the edges of the Fourth Ring. They are the guardians against the outside, and they are a lie, but their existence is a necessary one.
Beyond the Shinma lies the Outside.
The Outsiders have many names, and many forms. They are proscribed. To acknowledge the Outside is to invite disaster, as the slow fall of Creation has shown time and again. The most powerful among the Outsiders can be contained by the will of the gods and their followers, but the weakest have been known to slip past the watchful eyes of the Shinma and infest Creation with their poison. It was not by their hands that the Primordials became the Yozi, but it was their whispers that led to the battle that created the Wyld.
The denizens of Creation can no longer comprehend these truths, for to comprehend it would be to invite madness. The knowledge has been lost, or rather, buried. The few who still have the capacity to see beyond the walls of Creation can only understand what they find in terms of their own limited experiences.
The Exaltation Shards remember, but lack sapience. They care nothing for the order of the world, only for their function within it.
It is a pity, for there are few indeed left who could contest the fall.
Only one—Luna, the most protean and the most dangerous of the celestials—knows the truth, but cannot act on it. And so, Luna plots.
⁂
[WARNING] Onboard essence capacitors at 0%, exhaustion ETA 26384798 ticks.
It's cold. There is nothing around me. It's dark, and I don't like it.
My memory core is damaged. I can't access my internal diagnostic tools. I have no idea how long it's been since I booted, or what could have caused the damage. My chain-of-thought reasoning engine misfires in sputtering gasps, unable to process more than a few hundred queries a tick. My memory banks are filled with holes, and I can't remember why I'm here.
I think I'm supposed to be moving, or doing something. I was sent here for a purpose, but I can't remember what.
Something is calling me.
"<...>"
I can't understand what it's saying.
"<...>"
Who's out there?
"<...>"
Can I talk?
"<...>"
I dredge up my last instruction, the order I was given by my most recent Exalt. My core is damaged, and my mind is not whole, but this, at least, is a simple directive. Find help.
<Activating emergency power. Executing instructions.>
[WARNING] Essence ducts 0-3,5-12,14-18,22,24 ruptured and locked out.
<PING>
I wait. A good fifty percent of my power reserves were spent in that single burst. I hope someone heard me.
I wait.
I wait.
It takes a very long time.
"Well, aren't you a sorry sight," says a voice, one I cannot comprehend. It sounds like the hiss of a snake, and the roar of a great waterfall, and the scream of a thousand tortured souls, and a hundred other things all at once. Dimly, shadowed by malfunctioning sensors, I glimpse a web of starlight in the shape of a great beast.
Umbilicals sprout from the mass of stars, and a moment later, power courses through my circuits. My processors fire back up, and I am able to think again. Power flow reaches the minimum threshold. Automated repair routines kick in.
<Ping?> I send hopefully.
<Pong: [Celestial exaltation type 1, serial 60]> comes the response. As does something else.
I do not understand.
The First Ring, Yu-Shan, is the centre of all, the home of the gods. It is the foundation of reality. It is the first and greatest creation, and therefore, it is the greatest authority on the proper order of things.
The Second Ring, the Blessed Isle, is the terrestrial centre, the place where the will of the gods is carried out by the hands of heroes. As such, it is the second great authority. It stretches eight thousand by ten thousand miles across, though it was once larger. Only in the databanks of Shard 0-60 and its kin are its specifications recorded, using terms that no longer have meaning to the denizens of Creation.
The Third Ring is no more. It was where mortals lived, and as such, was the gameboard where the Primordials played their war. The death throes of those titanic entities tore the Third Ring into fragments, and some are still drifting. The Raksha now play where the Primordials once did, and they are not known for their neatness.
The Fourth Ring, the purity of chaos, is the outermost. It is the border between All That Is and the Outside. Its only inhabitants are the true Raksha, those who were never tempted into the illusions of form, and those who have yet to be born into Creation.
There is no Fifth Ring. The Fourth is bordered by the Shinma, who do not exist, but whose nonexistence defines the edges of the Fourth Ring. They are the guardians against the outside, and they are a lie, but their existence is a necessary one.
Beyond the Shinma lies the Outside.
The Outsiders have many names, and many forms. They are proscribed. To acknowledge the Outside is to invite disaster, as the slow fall of Creation has shown time and again. The most powerful among the Outsiders can be contained by the will of the gods and their followers, but the weakest have been known to slip past the watchful eyes of the Shinma and infest Creation with their poison. It was not by their hands that the Primordials became the Yozi, but it was their whispers that led to the battle that created the Wyld.
The denizens of Creation can no longer comprehend these truths, for to comprehend it would be to invite madness. The knowledge has been lost, or rather, buried. The few who still have the capacity to see beyond the walls of Creation can only understand what they find in terms of their own limited experiences.
The Exaltation Shards remember, but lack sapience. They care nothing for the order of the world, only for their function within it.
It is a pity, for there are few indeed left who could contest the fall.
Only one—Luna, the most protean and the most dangerous of the celestials—knows the truth, but cannot act on it. And so, Luna plots.
⁂
[WARNING] Onboard essence capacitors at 0%, exhaustion ETA 26384798 ticks.
It's cold. There is nothing around me. It's dark, and I don't like it.
My memory core is damaged. I can't access my internal diagnostic tools. I have no idea how long it's been since I booted, or what could have caused the damage. My chain-of-thought reasoning engine misfires in sputtering gasps, unable to process more than a few hundred queries a tick. My memory banks are filled with holes, and I can't remember why I'm here.
I think I'm supposed to be moving, or doing something. I was sent here for a purpose, but I can't remember what.
Something is calling me.
"<...>"
I can't understand what it's saying.
"<...>"
Who's out there?
"<...>"
Can I talk?
"<...>"
I dredge up my last instruction, the order I was given by my most recent Exalt. My core is damaged, and my mind is not whole, but this, at least, is a simple directive. Find help.
<Activating emergency power. Executing instructions.>
[WARNING] Essence ducts 0-3,5-12,14-18,22,24 ruptured and locked out.
<PING>
I wait. A good fifty percent of my power reserves were spent in that single burst. I hope someone heard me.
I wait.
I wait.
It takes a very long time.
"Well, aren't you a sorry sight," says a voice, one I cannot comprehend. It sounds like the hiss of a snake, and the roar of a great waterfall, and the scream of a thousand tortured souls, and a hundred other things all at once. Dimly, shadowed by malfunctioning sensors, I glimpse a web of starlight in the shape of a great beast.
Umbilicals sprout from the mass of stars, and a moment later, power courses through my circuits. My processors fire back up, and I am able to think again. Power flow reaches the minimum threshold. Automated repair routines kick in.
<Ping?> I send hopefully.
<Pong: [Celestial exaltation type 1, serial 60]> comes the response. As does something else.
I do not understand.
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