Evening, Oct. 21, 2009
Mom was worried. No, scared. It was painted all over her thoughts, a tidal wave of worry threatening to overwhelm Ami. The little girl struggled to keep up with her mother's thoughts without being pulled under them instead—an experience which she hated intensely, because even if Mom had good reason to worry, it hurt Ami to watch it. It hurt even worse because she couldn't do anything.
Ami was scared too, and Mom couldn't even feel it.
"'neechan will be fine," she insisted anyway; half because Mom needed to hear it and half because Ami didn't know what else to say. She hugged Mom's side as best she could, but couldn't hug her mind. Because hugging someone who didn't want to be hugged, was-
It was wrong, and she'd done that, and she'd learned better!
But still.
"I know," Mom lied softly. "Amu won't get hurt. She promised me that."
"Yeah," Ami agreed, nodding frantically in response. Mom looked at her, her gaze softened, and then Ami was swept into a hug and cuddled against her mother's chest as she wondered what on earth had been wrong with what she said—because this was better than being ignored, but still-
She'd been trying to make Mom feel better. And this was still the wrong type of hug.
"Mom?" Ami asked, a little nervously. "Can we go home now?"
"Do you want to?" Mom asked hesitantly in return, letting Ami back onto her feet.
"I'm tired," Ami said, nodding her head and frowning at Mom. "And hungry."
She was tired. And her other half was hungry, although asleep. Acchan couldn't stay awake while Akkun was. Not for very long, and dinner hadn't happened yet. She'd had an adventure instead of dinner, but adventures, Ami found, were nowhere near as nice when you were scared. Which she was, because 'neechan... no, 'neechan would be fine! Because she was 'neechan! Nothing could defeat 'neechan, not really, not even huge flying monsters like had invaded her school.
Ami suddenly found herself trembling slightly, memories flashing back before she could stop them—no matter how hard she tried to pretend that everything was fine and that nothing bad had happened and that the scary things didn't exist-
Mom crouched down again, staring at Ami with a concerned expression on her face and gently rubbing her back.
"We can go home," Mom promised her softly, all comfort and prickly-promise, like she wanted to be a cactus surrounding Ami. Somehow that felt nice. "You're safe now. We'll get dinner ready for Amu." She smiled sadly at Ami, then pushed herself back up, taking Ami's hand in her own and leading her down the corridor and towards the stairs back to where the car was...
Oops.
Ami disentangled herself and let Mom walk half a step ahead of her, just so she wouldn't see the huge blush on her face, because she'd accidentally read her mind. Only for a little while. But then they hit an intersection, and Mom could follow 'neechan's ribbon but still asked Ami to confirm. Which made Ami feel very grown-up right then.
Then there was a spiral staircase, which looked weird and felt weirder, half dream and half real. It gave Ami some ideas, because she'd always wanted to build a castle, but that was another thing for later, and then they were downstairs with Hikaru waiting for them, and- oh.
She stopped on the last step of the stairwell, and they stared at each other. The room she'd walked down into was—was normal. Ami—Akkun, really—had expected somehow that walking out of a dream and into reality would put her in a laboratory of some kind, or an industrial workshop, or somewhere weird, somewhere that looked like it belonged. Instead it was just a room that looked like it belonged in someone's house; big, but furnished, with carpets on the floor and several couches arranged around a television set in a room to the side, and normal incandescent lights on the wall.
Normal.
And it had Hikaru, who'd been walking a literal groove in the floor—it was all cracked—but who'd stopped as soon as Ami emerged and now seemed completely frozen; staring at Ami with an expression somewhere between hope and fear on his face. Like he wasn't sure what he was looking at, and didn't dare try to work out what it was just in case it vanished if he did so.
His mind she was allowed to lean against, so she did so, letting out all the worry and uncertainty and just breathing it out like the young girl that she liked to pretend that she wasn't, where Hikaru was concerned. Only he was older than her, and Ami was sorry she couldn't hug him without him thinking of her as a baby; but if she did, then she would be a baby and she wouldn't be able to hug him anyway without him feeling weird about it! And that-
That wouldn't do at all!
So she settled for leaning into him mentally, and Hikaru, who could neither tell what she was feeling nor get affected by it, only noticed that she was there and she needed comforting somehow. Which—silly Hikaru—didn't make him do anything to make Ami feel better, even if he'd wanted to do so because he could feel that something was wrong; but Ami appreciated the effort all the same.
Hikaru really was the best big brother a girl could have!
Then he looked behind her.
"Utau isn't coming," Ami said, the words tasting sour in her mouth. "Not yet. 'neechan is upstairs too. They're fighting a monster. Or rescuing someone." The floor groaned, before Hikaru got control of himself again.
She hadn't quite figured out what they were doing, but it seemed like fighting and rescuing were somehow connected—or were going to be, at least? Ami had felt the desperation from her sister and didn't know what to do about it, because it was like 'neechan wanted something that Ami couldn't give her; something that Ami couldn't fix or make right or-
It was frustrating! And scary! And-
She sniffled slightly and Hikaru nodded, and Mom was suddenly next to her, and she was hugging her without thinking about it and-
"Let's go home," Mom murmured gently. "Amu will be fine."
Amu would be fine. Ami would be fine too, even if- even if Mom needed to learn how to hug someone right, but right now wasn't the time for that because Mom's hug was fine and Ami needed to relax. She really did. This place felt weird. Cloying, kind of. Like it wasn't sure if it liked her or not.
"Can I have a quick word, Ichinomiya-kun?" Mom asked quietly.
Hikaru nodded, blinking curiously at her. Mom hugged her again and said she'd be back soon, and-
And-
Ami was left alone for the first time since they'd left 'neechan.
Well, not quite alone. There was of course the part of her that was 'Acchan'. The dreamer, instead of the dream, but Acchan was asleep. If that was the right way to think? They both remembered each other's lives anyway. Ami wasn't entirely sure where the boundaries were anymore.
She could wake her, of course, but...
'Akkun' looked around.
She was outside.
In reality.
Not stuck at the back of Acchan's mind.
...
She wasn't going to wake her.
It was too exciting! And cool.
⁂
"Mom?" Ami asked, playing idly with her hair. She was seated in the back of Mom's car and they were driving home, but Ami was no longer sure if she really wanted to eat anything. Despite being hungry. "Did... did you notice I'm a little different?"
"Oh? Not at all," Mom lied gently. "You look exactly like my sweet little daughter."
A few seconds passed, and they reached a traffic stop. Mom turned around in her seat to give Ami a small smile that Ami couldn't help but smile back at in response, even if she got a little bit embarrassed.
"Um..." Ami mumbled shyly, ducking her head and playing with her hair some more instead.
She wasn't even sure where to begin explaining it to Mom.
"I never bought you that dress," Mom pointed out.
Which she hadn't. Ami was dressed in a blue dress with black highlights, in a style that Mom had never bought for her. It had a small capelet too, which Ami had put there for reasons she couldn't quite put her finger on.
"It looks adorable on you," Mom continued on. "But I think we'll have to get you some more, if you like this look."
Ami wasn't sure what she thought about that.
This one wasn't complete without her sword? Which a troll was sharpening for her. She wasn't used to wearing dresses?
Not exactly true, she'd worn this one a lot, but 'neechan was usually Mom's dressing doll. Even if Ami liked them too—Mom was right about how pretty dresses were!—she didn't like wearing them enough for them to become a regular thing. Did she?
"And your hair isn't usually that bright a blonde," Mom continued on, studying Ami intently in a way that made her feel very shy about things. "And you're a little taller than I expected you to be." She smiled at Ami's stunned expression, and gave her a small shrug as well. "What, did you expect your mom not to notice?" she asked with a wry grin on her face. "I know what my daughter looks like. This is your magical girl form, right?"
Uhhhh...
"I'm not a magical girl," Ami mumbled shyly, blushing all the while. But she could be! Dream powers! There were lots of magical girls weaker than her. She would love being a magical girl. And-
'I don't want to,' the Acchan part of her replied. 'We have other things to worry about.'
"...kinda," Ami said, contradicting herself. "Yes. I guess. But also kinda."
"What's that mean?" Mom asked curiously.
Yeeeeaaaaah...
That was not an explanation Ami was ready to give her mom right now! Or ever! Maybe to 'neechan? But 'neechan wasn't here right now.
"Magical dream powers," she settled on. "Which means, Mom. When we get home. I'm going to already be there, in my bed, sleeping. Or on the couch maybe. Sleeping." She frowned. "So we should tell Dad, so he doesn't get scared."
Mom pulled the car to a stop, ignoring the road for a moment as she gave Ami a thoughtful look. She considered her daughter's words for several seconds before finally nodding in response.
"Okay," she agreed.
"'Okay'?" Ami repeated incredulously; her earlier shyness evaporating at Mom's easy acceptance of things. "No! 'Okay' doesn't mean 'okay'! You need to be not okay! This isn't okay!" She pouted at Mom and then crossed her arms in front of her chest for good measure; huffing unhappily at her mother's continuing insistence on being not weirded out by the strangest things ever!
Mom chuckled in response, smiling at Ami.
"Are you secretly an evil clone? Are you going to assimilate the other Ami? Do you need me to-"
"Mom!" Ami interrupted her plaintively; blushing furiously and shaking her head. "No! And also: No!" She was not going to explain anything! Not even the light teasing was okay! It wasn't! "I'm just... growing up? Maybe? Just a little." She gave Mom an embarrassed smile. "...I'll fall asleep when she wakes up. Probably."
Something in her wording made Mom give Ami an odd look for a few seconds. Her mother's mind felt pensive. Then she shook her head, and it passed.
"If this was another day," Mom said. "Then I'd say we should surprise Dad. But not today." She grinned at Ami's relieved sigh.
Mom unparked the car, and they continued down the road towards home.
