[X] No, not everything is perfectly okay. And of course it hurts. Otherwise, there wouldn't be anything to forgive.
-[X] "But it is never near enough for me to stop caring about you or to not want to be your friend. What we have isn't that fragile. It isn't perfect. No one really is. Sometimes friends really hurt each other. But they also forgive each other, too."
[x] You are my friend and I care about you, no matter what. If there's something I'm doing that's troubling you, I want to know about it, okay? I don't want there to be any bad feelings between us.
[x] "Things might be a little awkward for a while, yeah. But I know that we can work through it together."
"N-no, everything is not perfectly okay. I-it hurts a lot, of course it does," you say back with full honesty. Even if you have thought about it a lot, even if you have doubted everything you ever did and said... Hearing someone you considered- no, you still do- someone who is your friend say things like hurts more than you could have imagined. But at at the same time… "O-otherwise there wouldn't be anything to forgive."
...At the same time, you can't bring yourself to be truly angry about it. Perhaps some part of you wants to take revenge, to lash back at Evelyn for her words. But what would that accomplish? What would you gain from hurting her back? Nothing. "But it is nowhere near enough for me to stop caring about you, or to not want to be your friend anymore. W-what we have isn't that fragile… It isn't perfect, no one really is. S-sometimes… sometimes friends really hurt each other. But they also forgive each other."
You tighten your hug on Evelyn again, partly to get the point across and partly to gather courage for what you need to say next. Everything she did back in the city was under the control of a witch. But if there is something about it that bothers her enough to still think about it… then you suppose it is only better to hear it out rather than let actual bitterness fester between the two of you.
"Y-you are my friend and I care about you, no matter what. So if there's… something I'm doing that's troubling you, I want to know about it, okay? I don't want there to be any bad feelings between us," you tell her with sincerity.
For a few moments, the room turns silent again as the two of you keep hugging each other, you waiting for your friend's answer and Evelyn struggling to find the words for this situation. Even if it doesn't last long, you find yourself becoming increasingly anxious about this. Theories and guesses about what she might say appear one after another in your head, each more pessimistic than other…
And when the other girl finally breaks the silence, it feels like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. "D-do you really want to know about that?" Evelyn asks you shakily with a great deal of reluctance clear in her voice, "Because as of now it feels stupid… no... horrible to even think about it, less say it out loud."
You nod slightly in response, having some trouble moving properly within the constraints of the hug you are unwilling to loosen up just yet. "E-even if things might be a little awkward for a while, yeah… But I know that we can work through this together…" you say to assure her. Truthfully, you are not entirely sure if it really is something you actually want to hear. But even if you may not like it, you will probably need to hear it, sooner or later. Things like that might escalate if given time...
Evelyn stays quiet, contemplating her answer further before letting out a weary sigh, "I think… I think it sometimes feels like I'm just... tagging along people living in another world… You and Kishi especially seem to have been through much together before even meeting you."
The girl shifts uncomfortably on the bed and gently presses her head against yours as she goes on, "Heck, even for someone who you have apparently know for a couple of days, Ariane easily seems to be joining that dynamic… Almost like you had been through a lot together in the short time you had known each other."
You have to force yourself to stay silent and let her finish what she has to say. True, you think you get along with you friends well, even if you haven't known each other for that long. Just what is she getting at?
"It is something I think only Magical Girls can know and experience with each other…" Evelyn says, making you feel honestly surprised, "I… I have seen the injuries, the pain it has caused you. I just wanted to scream in horror when seeing what that witch managed to do against you back in the park, even when you had the fight under control... For God's sake, the effort you put into getting better is pretty clear when watching you practice with your powers..."
You can hear Evelyn gulp down something in her throat. Her voice is starting to crack again and her speech becomes increasingly slurred with light sobs, "B-but… every time I am there when you go out there and fight, I am just someone to be watched over. Even today, I only managed to cause you grief and pain… I-I'm just the one to be left behind again."
With her face so close to you, even if it is dark and the sight partially covered by the angle, you can see new lines of tears on Evelyn's cheeks, "I-it is something I could even try to remedy... Just make the wish… B-but, I don't know what it even could be, what kind of miracle would be worth my life… I don't know if I'll ever be sure."
As surprising as Evelyn's feelings have been, there is still this uneasy feeling in your stomach that you know now exactly where this is going… The realization is enough to cause your arms to start slipping from the hug.
"I-I… asked you about this some time ago… And I still feel that it is possibly the best piece of advice I could have ever gotten on this…. But when thinking about it… I… I sometimes… well, very rarely start doubting your intentions… 'What if she said that so you would never make the wish', that's what it feels like then. It is horrifying, stupid and callous of me… B-but the thought refuses to leave me alone…"
You stare at Evelyn's barely visible face with increasing worry as she starts slowing down her speech again, the noise barely above a strained whisper "A-and when seeing just how far above average humans you guys are…. I-it is sometimes like I am just a burden there, like no matter how hard I try, it will never matter."
Going from being almost calm already back to a sobbing wreck… It seems she has been trying to bottle up everything and is only letting it go now.
What do you do?
[] Keep writing in.
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First of all, sorry for taking this long to update. I got preoccupied out of the blue for this day and the previous evening, and was unable to find a good moment to take the time to update.
Well, on the update itself, this will be one of the last on this particular scene, unless you decide to start dragging things on.
