Number6
Unrepentant Like Addict
- Location
- The Village, Scotland
Oooh, two movies I like. The former in a so-bad-its-cheesy-good way, and the latter in a so-good-I want-to-dig-a-fallout-shelter-and-live-there-forever way.
Project Ludovico
- Thread starter Athene
- Start date
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- Tags
- athenemas film media movie review
Oooh, two movies I like. The former in a so-bad-its-cheesy-good way, and the latter in a so-good-I want-to-dig-a-fallout-shelter-and-live-there-forever way.
- Location
- Luton Airport
Lynch's Dune has its charms - it'd have been interesting to see what it could have been had it been made in something like the modern film-making environment, where a four hour extended cut of a film is a feasible and marketable prospect.
Lynch's Dune is quite good for the limits he had to work with.
I'll always regret that the world never got to see Alejandro Jodorowsky's take on Dune, sprawling six+ hour mammoth that it would've been...
Number6
Unrepentant Like Addict
- Location
- The Village, Scotland
You're not wrong, but there are some aspects of Lynch's film that I don't think would have come across well in any era- in particular, hearing the characters' thoughts like we would in a book. That only really worked in that scene with Paul and the knife-missile.
However, an extended cut of that film is something I'd pay to see.
- Location
- Luton Airport
The voiceovers, I believe, were part of the effort to condense exposition and chop the film down to the two hour mark.
- Location
- Portland, OR
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I'm sure Moira has seen all of those because Moira has seen everything. However I've seen Dune (which I enjoyed quite a bit, I think it's a consistently underrated and unappreciated film), The Fifth Element (again I liked), Heavy Metal (awesome), Labyrinth (also awesome), and unfortunately only part of When The Wind Blows.
- Location
- Luton Airport
Ooh, what about Krull?
Captain Orsai
Davion Heavy Guards Captain
Yes! Finally, I'm not the only person that thinks this!
- Location
- Luton Airport
NO! You go too far!
Night_stalker
Slava Ukraini!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
What about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
Known for being the final nail in Sean Connery's career?
Known for being the final nail in Sean Connery's career?
I just rewatched When The Wind Blows. It still makes me cry.
After Earth: YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE FACE OF YOUR FATHER
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This is the story of a son who continually disappoints his stern, disciplinarian father until he finally lives up to his expectations.
And they make a movie together. It's called After Earth.
Even Freud said that sometimes a cigar was a cigar but this is a movie that has sprung a class 3 leak of subtext all over the place with its plot and casting choices.
Will Smith plays Prime Commander Cypher Raige, a 15 year old's XBOX Live handle and the inventor of "Ghosting". See, a thousand years ago, the opening of Sid Meir's Alpha Centauri struck the Earth and it had to be evacuated because it had become an unlivable death world. The Rangers settled humanity on a new planet but Aliens we never see dropped the Ursa onto the planet. These space bears are a terror weapon that are blind and deaf and see entirely through their sense of smell that can only detect human fear.
Also they look like uncircumcised dicks.
Having become incredibly dumb since the fall of Earth, mankind and their melee weapon only military is utterly unprepared for this foe that you probably already thought of three different countermeasures for by the time you finished judging whether they look like cocks or not. This is where Ghosting comes in: Cypher Raige saves humanity through his ability to turn off his fear, making anyone who uses it invisible to the dumbest terror weapons ever constructed with the side effect of having them tremendously underact at all times.
Cypher Raige has a son named Kitai, introduced to us being held back from becoming a Ranger for another year because he "falls apart in the field" which isn't shown because telling is what all the cool director kids do.
Anyway, his adult sister was killed when he was in elementary school by an Ursa while he hid in a terrarium and his father blames him for it. Not in a nebulous "the wrong kid died" way or even a "She died protecting you" way. No, he blames his son for not manning up and fighting a bear at age 6-8. Not even a regular bear but a terror bear. His sister was torn apart in front of his eyes but he hasn't seemed to have undergone any kind of therapy for his obvious PTSD and has continual flashbacks that are just...ignored by everyone else. Maybe he falls apart in the field because he has more triggers than a gun store and he hasn't gotten any help for it?
"WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT THE BEAR YOU COWARD"
His father subjects him to military discipline in the home and treats him more as a particularly unworthy subordinate that he must deal with inside his home. His mother points out that maybe he should be less of a dickbag and treat him as a son. Cypher begrudgingly takes him along on a trip but their space plane gets thrown off course by a Space Maelstrom and they crash land on Earth, a forbidden death world of a planet. Cypher and Kitai are the only survivors but Cypher has been critically injured and so their survival is in Kitai's hands.
Cypher Raige gives a speech to Kitai for the trailers about how they are on Planet Earth, a planet where everything has evolved to kill humans and which no person could possibly survive, blah, blah, forced ecological message, blah blah fake stakes, blah blah underacting. Kita needs to get to the tail and grab the Space Flare Gun and call for help but the Ursa they were hauling along with them escaped and is loose upon the island. So he takes his father's Cutlass with him for protection.
Thanks official website, I would have had to explain how stupid this is without you.
If you haven't figured it out yet, this is a straight up SciFi version of a "Deserted Island" plot, only done poorly and without any real clue and a smattering of parental abuse. Grab the flare gun from the crashed plane to save your father the General, and take his sword to fight off the wildlife, including the bear. They even fuck up Cypher's rank about the time of the plane crash. He goes from being a "Prime Commander" to "General". They even try to make the aesthetic reflect it, with random sails and hammocks everywhere.
The problem of course is that by introducing these scifi elements so clumsily, it introduces problems that don't work as believable stakes. There are only a small number of Stakes introduced in fact
Oh I'm sorry, did you think that was a metaphor?
It being a scifi movie actually detracts from it because they went too literal on the translations and didn't put thought into all the nitpicks that are going to hit the audience while they watch it. Of course, there's also the dynamic in this movie between the Father and Son. Most movies about a stern disapproving father have the father recognize his son for the qualities he has and come to accept him as he is. In this movie, the son stops disappointing his father and finally lives up to his example. The movie is so open to meta interpretation its incredible. I mean, the plot of this movie is that the talented, amazing, well liked and legendary father must rely on his son that he feels doesn't live up to his standards. The movie itself puts the talented and beloved Will Smith into a supporting actor role and relies on his son to carry it. This is like, so psychological it feels like a trap almost, because nothing could be this obvious right?
EVEN MORE THAN THIS
I mean, this is a movie where Will Smith pens a letter to his wife because he thinks his son is dead and the message is almost literally "Our son is dead. End message". Hank Hill would tell you that this guy needs to show more emotion to his son but Hank Hill is a way better dad.
Oh and M. Night Shyamalan continues to get work somehow? I don't know how a dude who's name being attached to a trailer can cause audiences to lose interest can be given a budget this big anymore. The world building in this movie is terrible and contradicts its whole "Death World: Earth" premise. It doesn't feel dangerous enough and it looks pretty fine! They just need to find the Wizard that makes the planet freeze solid each night and be fine the next day and cast a counterspell.
The movie is betrayed by its own "twist" of it being a scifi movie. Everything that makes it science fiction does nothing for the plot or themes (How much Jaden needs to step his game up) and only hurts it by introducing plot holes or making you just go "what?". The plot sidelines a great actor and makes him underact to fit his character, which is just a waste of prime WIll Smith Likeability. He's probably the only good thing in the movie during the moments when he's allowed to show emotion but good lord this feels like a twisted vanity project.
And they make a movie together. It's called After Earth.
Even Freud said that sometimes a cigar was a cigar but this is a movie that has sprung a class 3 leak of subtext all over the place with its plot and casting choices.
Will Smith plays Prime Commander Cypher Raige, a 15 year old's XBOX Live handle and the inventor of "Ghosting". See, a thousand years ago, the opening of Sid Meir's Alpha Centauri struck the Earth and it had to be evacuated because it had become an unlivable death world. The Rangers settled humanity on a new planet but Aliens we never see dropped the Ursa onto the planet. These space bears are a terror weapon that are blind and deaf and see entirely through their sense of smell that can only detect human fear.
Also they look like uncircumcised dicks.
Having become incredibly dumb since the fall of Earth, mankind and their melee weapon only military is utterly unprepared for this foe that you probably already thought of three different countermeasures for by the time you finished judging whether they look like cocks or not. This is where Ghosting comes in: Cypher Raige saves humanity through his ability to turn off his fear, making anyone who uses it invisible to the dumbest terror weapons ever constructed with the side effect of having them tremendously underact at all times.
Cypher Raige has a son named Kitai, introduced to us being held back from becoming a Ranger for another year because he "falls apart in the field" which isn't shown because telling is what all the cool director kids do.
Anyway, his adult sister was killed when he was in elementary school by an Ursa while he hid in a terrarium and his father blames him for it. Not in a nebulous "the wrong kid died" way or even a "She died protecting you" way. No, he blames his son for not manning up and fighting a bear at age 6-8. Not even a regular bear but a terror bear. His sister was torn apart in front of his eyes but he hasn't seemed to have undergone any kind of therapy for his obvious PTSD and has continual flashbacks that are just...ignored by everyone else. Maybe he falls apart in the field because he has more triggers than a gun store and he hasn't gotten any help for it?
"WHY DIDN'T YOU FIGHT THE BEAR YOU COWARD"
His father subjects him to military discipline in the home and treats him more as a particularly unworthy subordinate that he must deal with inside his home. His mother points out that maybe he should be less of a dickbag and treat him as a son. Cypher begrudgingly takes him along on a trip but their space plane gets thrown off course by a Space Maelstrom and they crash land on Earth, a forbidden death world of a planet. Cypher and Kitai are the only survivors but Cypher has been critically injured and so their survival is in Kitai's hands.
Cypher Raige gives a speech to Kitai for the trailers about how they are on Planet Earth, a planet where everything has evolved to kill humans and which no person could possibly survive, blah, blah, forced ecological message, blah blah fake stakes, blah blah underacting. Kita needs to get to the tail and grab the Space Flare Gun and call for help but the Ursa they were hauling along with them escaped and is loose upon the island. So he takes his father's Cutlass with him for protection.
Thanks official website, I would have had to explain how stupid this is without you.
If you haven't figured it out yet, this is a straight up SciFi version of a "Deserted Island" plot, only done poorly and without any real clue and a smattering of parental abuse. Grab the flare gun from the crashed plane to save your father the General, and take his sword to fight off the wildlife, including the bear. They even fuck up Cypher's rank about the time of the plane crash. He goes from being a "Prime Commander" to "General". They even try to make the aesthetic reflect it, with random sails and hammocks everywhere.
The problem of course is that by introducing these scifi elements so clumsily, it introduces problems that don't work as believable stakes. There are only a small number of Stakes introduced in fact
- He gets attacked by monkeys because he's an idiot
- He gets poisoned by a leach on his hand
- He only has a limited supply of capsules for breathing
- The planet freezes at night
- He gets attacked by some wild animals like, once more?
- He has to get to the top of a mountain with the Ursa after him.
- His father is a dickhole.
- He can't act in this movie.
Oh I'm sorry, did you think that was a metaphor?
It being a scifi movie actually detracts from it because they went too literal on the translations and didn't put thought into all the nitpicks that are going to hit the audience while they watch it. Of course, there's also the dynamic in this movie between the Father and Son. Most movies about a stern disapproving father have the father recognize his son for the qualities he has and come to accept him as he is. In this movie, the son stops disappointing his father and finally lives up to his example. The movie is so open to meta interpretation its incredible. I mean, the plot of this movie is that the talented, amazing, well liked and legendary father must rely on his son that he feels doesn't live up to his standards. The movie itself puts the talented and beloved Will Smith into a supporting actor role and relies on his son to carry it. This is like, so psychological it feels like a trap almost, because nothing could be this obvious right?
EVEN MORE THAN THIS
I mean, this is a movie where Will Smith pens a letter to his wife because he thinks his son is dead and the message is almost literally "Our son is dead. End message". Hank Hill would tell you that this guy needs to show more emotion to his son but Hank Hill is a way better dad.
Oh and M. Night Shyamalan continues to get work somehow? I don't know how a dude who's name being attached to a trailer can cause audiences to lose interest can be given a budget this big anymore. The world building in this movie is terrible and contradicts its whole "Death World: Earth" premise. It doesn't feel dangerous enough and it looks pretty fine! They just need to find the Wizard that makes the planet freeze solid each night and be fine the next day and cast a counterspell.
The movie is betrayed by its own "twist" of it being a scifi movie. Everything that makes it science fiction does nothing for the plot or themes (How much Jaden needs to step his game up) and only hurts it by introducing plot holes or making you just go "what?". The plot sidelines a great actor and makes him underact to fit his character, which is just a waste of prime WIll Smith Likeability. He's probably the only good thing in the movie during the moments when he's allowed to show emotion but good lord this feels like a twisted vanity project.
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- Location
- Portland, OR
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Funnily enough, starting in media res makes the movie worse. Or at least, it would have if I hadn't already known it was garbage. Like the media res opening is actually pretty good, it's got tension, and then bam, ship breaks apart. Okay great. Now if only the rest of the movie wasn't crap maybe this wouldn't feel like such a cheap attempt at getting me excited over a movie made of a dozen different concepts that have all been done a million times better.
Number6
Unrepentant Like Addict
- Location
- The Village, Scotland
Will Smith plays Prime Commander Cypher Raige, a 15 year old's XBOX Live handle and the inventor of "Ghosting". See, a thousand years ago, the opening of Sid Meir's Alpha Centauri struck the Earth and it had to be evacuated because it had become an unlivable death world. The Rangers settled humanity on a new planet but Aliens we never see dropped the Ursa onto the planet. These space bears are a terror weapon that are blind and deaf and see entirely through their sense of smell that can only detect human fear.
Also they look like uncircumcised dicks.
Having become incredibly dumb since the fall of Earth, mankind and their melee weapon only military is utterly unprepared for this foe that you probably already thought of three different countermeasures for by the time you finished judging whether they look like cocks or not. This is where Ghosting comes in: Cypher Raige saves humanity through his ability to turn off his fear, making anyone who uses it invisible to the dumbest terror weapons ever constructed with the side effect of having them tremendously underact at all times.
Perfume bombs to drown out the fear pheromones. Snipers working from a safe distance- they won't be able to tell where the gunfire is coming from, or even that they're under attack. Well-labelled minefields with speakers at regular intervals repeating "All humans should follow the path marked in luminous orange tape". And that's just off the top of my head.
Sufficient Juice
A steady supply of vitamins
- Location
- The carbohydrates
Athene
Athene plz
You took us from "hardcore badass Liam Neeson fighting the class war" to "people discovered space migration, forgot guns" in one post
Slow your roll plz
Athene plz
You took us from "hardcore badass Liam Neeson fighting the class war" to "people discovered space migration, forgot guns" in one post
Slow your roll plz
BlackAeronaut
Scaring people witless since 1980
- Location
- A state of mind where it is always ****ing Monday.
Yeah, just from a world building perspective, After Earth had a LOT of issues.
First of all, let's talk about these aliens. Like, WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE INSCRUTABLE BASTARDS?
I mean, they don't really invade or anything. They just send down some horrible bioengineered nightmare fuel to kill a few people and scare the rest.
But the finny thing is that if these aliens were at all smart, they'd realize that they're dealing with a race of beings that not only reproduce fairly quickly and efficiently, but also came from a planet that spent millions of years trying to kill them off by all sorts of means (and ultimately lost that battle, so to speak).
Otherwise, there's no apparent motive for the attacks, leaving them to seem as nothing so much more a xenophobic fuck-you to humanity. (Which would be a very terrible idea because once the humans figure out where you live, you're FUCKED. Bioengineered weapons? How cute. BRING ON THE ASTEROID LAUNCHERS!)
I don't care if it would be 'true to life' if some alien menace was truly inscrutable. Just some clue about why they hate humans so much would be nice.
And the no guns thing? Why? Is this supposed to be some kind of subtext? "Humans don't need guns to be badass" maybe? If that's the case, then it falls flat. I mean, hell, even if it's an aversion to using a chemical reaction that generates noxious fumes and other pollutants, then their tech should be advanced enough for them to have freaking small-arms coil guns! Or even effective laser weaponry!
Not that a good knife will ever go away. Us military types love to have something good and sharp on hand for whatever reason. But for all our weapons to be melee only? Fuck that noise! It's not just backwards, but also every strategist in the galaxy would have pitched a screaming fit over an idea so outlandish.
And how about Earth? Because seriously, what the fuck? I mean, I get that the whole planet got raped by humanity. It's kindofa delicious irony if you subscribe to the school of "The Planet is Trying to Kill Us" thought - the planet tried so hard, yet in failing to destroy us, it succeeded when we destroyed the very mechanisms that support life.
So if that was the case, why isn't the planet some kind of giant dustbowl now?
Okay, okay. I can see it MAYBE happening that the Earth would make some kind of miraculous recovery. But that still doesn't explain why the air is unbreathable.
I mean, look at all the fucking foliage! There's gotta be so much oxygen on that world and so little CO2 that they should feel like fucking Superman! I mean, it's not like they changed themselves, right? Because supposedly they only settled on worlds that could support human life, right? Which means they didn't have to do a damn thing to change the needs of their respiratory systems.
And then the thing with the wild temperature shifts? Why? Shifts like that don't happen in forests like that. They happen in arid, wide-open areas like deserts, which have very little water in the air to help retain heat once the sun goes down.
Lastly, the whole schpiel about "A planet where everything has evolved to kill humans". Hah! Buddy, it's the other way around. Humans evolved to kill everything on Earth. Even if a good number of animal species had decided that all humans must die, we simply would have killed everything instead of developing domestication and agriculture. Sure, it's a challenge to survive on a world like Earth, but that should be nothing that a soldier, even a half-trained cadet, can't handle. (Seriously, why the fuck would you go out of your way to pick a fight with an animal you know nothing about? BASIC FUCKING STRATEGY!)
So yeah. Total fail on worldbuilding.
First of all, let's talk about these aliens. Like, WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE INSCRUTABLE BASTARDS?
I mean, they don't really invade or anything. They just send down some horrible bioengineered nightmare fuel to kill a few people and scare the rest.
But the finny thing is that if these aliens were at all smart, they'd realize that they're dealing with a race of beings that not only reproduce fairly quickly and efficiently, but also came from a planet that spent millions of years trying to kill them off by all sorts of means (and ultimately lost that battle, so to speak).
Otherwise, there's no apparent motive for the attacks, leaving them to seem as nothing so much more a xenophobic fuck-you to humanity. (Which would be a very terrible idea because once the humans figure out where you live, you're FUCKED. Bioengineered weapons? How cute. BRING ON THE ASTEROID LAUNCHERS!)
I don't care if it would be 'true to life' if some alien menace was truly inscrutable. Just some clue about why they hate humans so much would be nice.
And the no guns thing? Why? Is this supposed to be some kind of subtext? "Humans don't need guns to be badass" maybe? If that's the case, then it falls flat. I mean, hell, even if it's an aversion to using a chemical reaction that generates noxious fumes and other pollutants, then their tech should be advanced enough for them to have freaking small-arms coil guns! Or even effective laser weaponry!
Not that a good knife will ever go away. Us military types love to have something good and sharp on hand for whatever reason. But for all our weapons to be melee only? Fuck that noise! It's not just backwards, but also every strategist in the galaxy would have pitched a screaming fit over an idea so outlandish.
And how about Earth? Because seriously, what the fuck? I mean, I get that the whole planet got raped by humanity. It's kindofa delicious irony if you subscribe to the school of "The Planet is Trying to Kill Us" thought - the planet tried so hard, yet in failing to destroy us, it succeeded when we destroyed the very mechanisms that support life.
So if that was the case, why isn't the planet some kind of giant dustbowl now?
Okay, okay. I can see it MAYBE happening that the Earth would make some kind of miraculous recovery. But that still doesn't explain why the air is unbreathable.
I mean, look at all the fucking foliage! There's gotta be so much oxygen on that world and so little CO2 that they should feel like fucking Superman! I mean, it's not like they changed themselves, right? Because supposedly they only settled on worlds that could support human life, right? Which means they didn't have to do a damn thing to change the needs of their respiratory systems.
And then the thing with the wild temperature shifts? Why? Shifts like that don't happen in forests like that. They happen in arid, wide-open areas like deserts, which have very little water in the air to help retain heat once the sun goes down.
Lastly, the whole schpiel about "A planet where everything has evolved to kill humans". Hah! Buddy, it's the other way around. Humans evolved to kill everything on Earth. Even if a good number of animal species had decided that all humans must die, we simply would have killed everything instead of developing domestication and agriculture. Sure, it's a challenge to survive on a world like Earth, but that should be nothing that a soldier, even a half-trained cadet, can't handle. (Seriously, why the fuck would you go out of your way to pick a fight with an animal you know nothing about? BASIC FUCKING STRATEGY!)
So yeah. Total fail on worldbuilding.
all fictions
I hate you! (it's not against the rules!)
- Location
- Mons Regius
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"globalist terrorist organization (aligned with the UNITED NATIONS)"
"strong survival skills"
"freedom"
It's like a sign of God or something.
"strong survival skills"
"freedom"
It's like a sign of God or something.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I don't live in Arizona anymore which was one of the few places that have screenings and even then we don't have like, money to spend on this kind of thing.Athene Athene Athene, do you have your next movie picked out, because if you do not, oh my god, Athene,
BlackAeronaut
Scaring people witless since 1980
- Location
- A state of mind where it is always ****ing Monday.
If it's any comfort, I think we now have a good litmus test. Google 'Amerigeddon' along with whatever news/opinion site you want and you'll find out pretty quickly what kind of stupid resides there.