For a moment I thought that was The Mouse that Roared. You should add that to the list.
Project Ludovico
- Thread starter Athene
- Start date
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- Tags
- athenemas film media movie review
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Like, background note: The term Manic Pixie Dream Girl was coined in response to the movie Elizabethtown, described as a Bataan Death March of Whimsy, and its romantic lead.
Aloha is basically the director trying yet again.
Aloha is basically the director trying yet again.
Night_stalker
Slava Ukraini!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
So why does this one suck so bad, yet Freddy Got Fingered not earn your ire?
- Location
- Portland, OR
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Because there's nothing I can say about Freddy Got Fingered. I was in such agony that fifteen minutes in I jammed my earbuds in, slumped until my knees covered the TV screen, and listened to music until that dumpster fire of a film was over.
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
It suffers from Oppressive Whimsy and has a pace that can only be approached in terms normally reserved for geology.
Hopefully you like He Never Died better.
Another suggestion. Ravenous.
So ladies, I'm wondering... Have either of you experienced Lars Von Trier before? Or perhaps Harmony Korine?
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Roar: THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE MOVIE EVER MADE
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Roar is the story of an absolutely insane man and his lions.
They make a movie together.
A vanity project by director Noel Marshall and his wife Tippi Hedren, Roar is an infamous movie in which they throw the cast and crew into a Darwinian battle for survival with untrained Lions and Tigers, injuring a documented 70 and a rumored 100+. This isn't going to be a long review because well, the movie credits wild animals with writing and just like your cat Chairman Meow, they have little interest in writing a coherent story.
Instead of a coherent script, the movie follows a rough outline of events with improvised fleeing filling out the details, like a Christopher Guest movie but replace Eugene Levy with 700 pounds of murder machine and the brilliant comedy improvisation with terror. The plot such as it is, is that it's the white man's burden (his name is Hank) to save the great cats of Africa by jamming them together with imported tigers from Asia and living amongst them as the Alpha Hipster. He rides majestically on his fixie and\or vintage motorcycle through the African countryside that is in no way his property in California. He is living in vaguely defined and often questionable harmony with the big cats in a vaguely defined experiment and probably smelling like a patchouli factory was struck by hurricane BO. However his nemesis the Grant Committee is wondering just WTF is going on and have brought evil poachers on board to study the effects of killing everything that moves in the true spirit of Captain Planet villains everywhere.
They're soon mauled by the cats and flee for safety, and the FEAR IS REAL. After this incident, Hank sets out on an errand and forgets all about his family that is coming to visit him, namely his estranged wife Madeline played by his soon to be IRL divorced real wife and his real life sons with the addition of the nearly literally scarred for life Melanie Griffin as his promiscuous daughter, a fact that will never have any impact on anything because everyone will be too terrified to talk about much. See, they show up at the home of this actual lunatic not knowing that it is filled with countless lions, tigers, jaguars, cheetahs and madness. They soon find themselves in a desperate struggle for survival while their father/husband realizes oh right, my family and rushes somewhat back to save them.
Along the way the poachers show up, and are easily killed by a lion after shooting some animals and are removed from the movie, having accomplished nothing but some cheap pathos. Soon his family discovers that oh my, these animals are perfectly friendly and meant us no harm the entire time, mankind and predators can naturally live together in perfect harmony. There was never any danger, they were just imagining it because they viewed them as dangerous animals! Everyone lives happily ever after in perfect, hipster harmony and they post about it constantly on tumblr, please ignore all the literal maulings we witnessed.
Roar is an entertaining movie created by a madman. The director would keep rolling as people were seriously wounded in his movie about how safe and wondrous living with wild animals is. In fact, the movie ends with a song about how to save endangered animals, we must let go of our hatred like poaching was a civil rights battle instead of the exploitation of nature. It posits, that we can all learn a thing or two by following this brave white man's lead, Africa. The movie takes such a bizarrely hippy stance on conservation (STOP THE LION HATE) and rams it so far down your throat that you really just want to get involved in a southeast Asian war out of spite. Here's a break down of its plot in fact:
I don't count madness as characterization for this movie, otherwise it would be 100%
You can't bombard us with this bullshit message about how these animals are really adorable and harmless after you kept your wife getting mauled and an hour of people struggling to react to whatever this mass of untrained animals is doing. People are actually getting hurt by these animals and the horror sections absolutely work because the FEAR IS REAL and its terrifying and horrifying to watch this gauntlet that these poor actors have to pass through. This is the finest level of method acting, this is like, some fucking Ricky Bobby "DRIVE WITH A COUGAR" training. And its enjoyable! Aside from how facepunchable the lead is, the movie works and is about the most unique disaster you will ever see. You won't even know what's real anymore because "Real or fake mauling" is a pretty damn hard game sometimes.
This is a movie you absolutely need to see, preferably with a group. Its so unique and bonkers and dangerous, its incredible. This is an absolute must see movie, I cannot recommend this trainwreck enough. THE RIFFING IS REAL.
They make a movie together.
A vanity project by director Noel Marshall and his wife Tippi Hedren, Roar is an infamous movie in which they throw the cast and crew into a Darwinian battle for survival with untrained Lions and Tigers, injuring a documented 70 and a rumored 100+. This isn't going to be a long review because well, the movie credits wild animals with writing and just like your cat Chairman Meow, they have little interest in writing a coherent story.
Instead of a coherent script, the movie follows a rough outline of events with improvised fleeing filling out the details, like a Christopher Guest movie but replace Eugene Levy with 700 pounds of murder machine and the brilliant comedy improvisation with terror. The plot such as it is, is that it's the white man's burden (his name is Hank) to save the great cats of Africa by jamming them together with imported tigers from Asia and living amongst them as the Alpha Hipster. He rides majestically on his fixie and\or vintage motorcycle through the African countryside that is in no way his property in California. He is living in vaguely defined and often questionable harmony with the big cats in a vaguely defined experiment and probably smelling like a patchouli factory was struck by hurricane BO. However his nemesis the Grant Committee is wondering just WTF is going on and have brought evil poachers on board to study the effects of killing everything that moves in the true spirit of Captain Planet villains everywhere.
They're soon mauled by the cats and flee for safety, and the FEAR IS REAL. After this incident, Hank sets out on an errand and forgets all about his family that is coming to visit him, namely his estranged wife Madeline played by his soon to be IRL divorced real wife and his real life sons with the addition of the nearly literally scarred for life Melanie Griffin as his promiscuous daughter, a fact that will never have any impact on anything because everyone will be too terrified to talk about much. See, they show up at the home of this actual lunatic not knowing that it is filled with countless lions, tigers, jaguars, cheetahs and madness. They soon find themselves in a desperate struggle for survival while their father/husband realizes oh right, my family and rushes somewhat back to save them.
Along the way the poachers show up, and are easily killed by a lion after shooting some animals and are removed from the movie, having accomplished nothing but some cheap pathos. Soon his family discovers that oh my, these animals are perfectly friendly and meant us no harm the entire time, mankind and predators can naturally live together in perfect harmony. There was never any danger, they were just imagining it because they viewed them as dangerous animals! Everyone lives happily ever after in perfect, hipster harmony and they post about it constantly on tumblr, please ignore all the literal maulings we witnessed.
Roar is an entertaining movie created by a madman. The director would keep rolling as people were seriously wounded in his movie about how safe and wondrous living with wild animals is. In fact, the movie ends with a song about how to save endangered animals, we must let go of our hatred like poaching was a civil rights battle instead of the exploitation of nature. It posits, that we can all learn a thing or two by following this brave white man's lead, Africa. The movie takes such a bizarrely hippy stance on conservation (STOP THE LION HATE) and rams it so far down your throat that you really just want to get involved in a southeast Asian war out of spite. Here's a break down of its plot in fact:
I don't count madness as characterization for this movie, otherwise it would be 100%
You can't bombard us with this bullshit message about how these animals are really adorable and harmless after you kept your wife getting mauled and an hour of people struggling to react to whatever this mass of untrained animals is doing. People are actually getting hurt by these animals and the horror sections absolutely work because the FEAR IS REAL and its terrifying and horrifying to watch this gauntlet that these poor actors have to pass through. This is the finest level of method acting, this is like, some fucking Ricky Bobby "DRIVE WITH A COUGAR" training. And its enjoyable! Aside from how facepunchable the lead is, the movie works and is about the most unique disaster you will ever see. You won't even know what's real anymore because "Real or fake mauling" is a pretty damn hard game sometimes.
This is a movie you absolutely need to see, preferably with a group. Its so unique and bonkers and dangerous, its incredible. This is an absolute must see movie, I cannot recommend this trainwreck enough. THE RIFFING IS REAL.
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- Location
- Portland, OR
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I have not.
- Location
- Singapore
So, how many black people did get speaking roles in this trainwreck? And is it ever made clear what this man is hoping to accomplish living out in the middle of nowhere with hordes of dangerous animals around?
Athene
Rise for the Shadow Queen
- Location
- Dream of The 90s
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I have
As for what they hope to accomplish? To show that like, peace is possible man. Tigers and Lions and Humans can like, get along.
There were two so Circe won that bet, I was giving the movie a little bit too much credit.
As for what they hope to accomplish? To show that like, peace is possible man. Tigers and Lions and Humans can like, get along.
*sadistic grin* Melancholia and Ken Park
AKuz
Been Better
- Location
- A Rising Tide of Horrors
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Melencholia, AKA: Confusedly waiting for something to make sense or for any explanation, the movie.
Stuff just... happens.
Then again, I missed the first 5 mins, maybe something vital happens there.
Number6
Unrepentant Like Addict
- Location
- The Village, Scotland
Yeah, I prefer my feline murder machines to be lap-sized and familiar with litter trays, thanks. Amazing how deluded some people can be.
Sufficient Juice
A steady supply of vitamins
- Location
- The carbohydrates
Ah, so this is how "capitalist dogs" became a phrase, thanks.
- Location
- Luton Airport
If I remember correctly, "Mao" actually does mean "cat" (or at least one pronunciation of it does).
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grommile
nasty-minded old cynic
- Location
- NERV-Mercia
- Pronouns
- Traditional/Animate
Yes, in Mandarin māo (pronounced with the high level tone) means "cat".
The Chairman's surname was apparently 毛, one of several Chinese characters pronounced máo (i.e. with the rising tone) in Mandarin; that particular Chinese character has a lengthy list of meanings including "hair", "to devalue", and "small".
Roar is the story of an absolutely insane man and his lions.
They make a movie together.
A vanity project by director Noel Marshall and his wife Tippi Hedren, Roar is an infamous movie in which they throw the cast and crew into a Darwinian battle for survival with untrained Lions and Tigers, injuring a documented 70 and a rumored 100+. This isn't going to be a long review because well, the movie credits wild animals with writing and just like your cat Chairman Meow, they have little interest in writing a coherent story.
Instead of a coherent script, the movie follows a rough outline of events with improvised fleeing filling out the details, like a Christopher Guest movie but replace Eugene Levy with 700 pounds of murder machine and the brilliant comedy improvisation with terror. The plot such as it is, is that it's the white man's burden (his name is Hank) to save the great cats of Africa by jamming them together with imported tigers from Asia and living amongst them as the Alpha Hipster. He rides majestically on his fixie and\or vintage motorcycle through the African countryside that is in no way his property in California. He is living in vaguely defined and often questionable harmony with the big cats in a vaguely defined experiment and probably smelling like a patchouli factory was struck by hurricane BO. However his nemesis the Grant Committee is wondering just WTF is going on and have brought evil poachers on board to study the effects of killing everything that moves in the true spirit of Captain Planet villains everywhere.
They're soon mauled by the cats and flee for safety, and the FEAR IS REAL. After this incident, Hank sets out on an errand and forgets all about his family that is coming to visit him, namely his estranged wife Madeline played by his soon to be IRL divorced real wife and his real life sons with the addition of the nearly literally scarred for life Melanie Griffin as his promiscuous daughter, a fact that will never have any impact on anything because everyone will be too terrified to talk about much. See, they show up at the home of this actual lunatic not knowing that it is filled with countless lions, tigers, jaguars, cheetahs and madness. They soon find themselves in a desperate struggle for survival while their father/husband realizes oh right, my family and rushes somewhat back to save them.
Along the way the poachers show up, and are easily killed by a lion after shooting some animals and are removed from the movie, having accomplished nothing but some cheap pathos. Soon his family discovers that oh my, these animals are perfectly friendly and meant us no harm the entire time, mankind and predators can naturally live together in perfect harmony. There was never any danger, they were just imagining it because they viewed them as dangerous animals! Everyone lives happily ever after in perfect, hipster harmony and they post about it constantly on tumblr, please ignore all the literal maulings we witnessed.
Roar is an entertaining movie created by a madman. The director would keep rolling as people were seriously wounded in his movie about how safe and wondrous living with wild animals is. In fact, the movie ends with a song about how to save endangered animals, we must let go of our hatred like poaching was a civil rights battle instead of the exploitation of nature. It posits, that we can all learn a thing or two by following this brave white man's lead, Africa. The movie takes such a bizarrely hippy stance on conservation (STOP THE LION HATE) and rams it so far down your throat that you really just want to get involved in a southeast Asian war out of spite. Here's a break down of its plot in fact:
I don't count madness as characterization for this movie, otherwise it would be 100%
You can't bombard us with this bullshit message about how these animals are really adorable and harmless after you kept your wife getting mauled and an hour of people struggling to react to whatever this mass of untrained animals is doing. People are actually getting hurt by these animals and the horror sections absolutely work because the FEAR IS REAL and its terrifying and horrifying to watch this gauntlet that these poor actors have to pass through. This is the finest level of method acting, this is like, some fucking Ricky Bobby "DRIVE WITH A COUGAR" training. And its enjoyable! Aside from how facepunchable the lead is, the movie works and is about the most unique disaster you will ever see. You won't even know what's real anymore because "Real or fake mauling" is a pretty damn hard game sometimes.
This is a movie you absolutely need to see, preferably with a group. Its so unique and bonkers and dangerous, its incredible. This is an absolute must see movie, I cannot recommend this trainwreck enough. THE RIFFING IS REAL.
*watches trailer*
I legitimately did not think that, like, my Platonic Ideal film could exist in the real world.
THIS MAN IS LIVING MY DREAM