Post-Mortem Activities (Undead!Taylor, Slight Crack)
- Thread starter We Just Write
- Start date
MetaChthonia
Disco Inferno: ⌈I Learn Through Suffering⌋
- Location
- Somewhere, Elsewhere, Nowhere. Maybe. Probably.
I wanna see some bureaucrats that just want to do their jobs end up BSODing
[X] Afterlife Processing
[X] Afterlife Processing
Neruz
Rogue Spiderbanana
- Location
- The Land of Fire and Poison
What would be really neat is seeing what happens when the latest batch of the Slaughterhouse 9's victims all get back up, pull flaming spiritual chainsaws out of nowhere and chase Jack down the street while screaming bloody vengeance.
Being a psychotic serial killer is a lot less fun when your victims are liable to slingshot right back from the dead, armed with soul-weapons and an undead physique.
Being a psychotic serial killer is a lot less fun when your victims are liable to slingshot right back from the dead, armed with soul-weapons and an undead physique.
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SemiSaneAuthor
Powered by Snark, Spite, and Tea!
- Location
- Sol-3, Memetic Quarantined World - For English
- Pronouns
- They/Them
You know while the latest batch zombifying themselves might be fun but ... Slaughterhouse 9 Rocks into town, they kill someone. That person goes into the afterlife, through Afterlife Processing contacts everyone the Slaughterhouse has killed over the years. Cue army of Ghosts breaking into Town and the Slaughterhouse has to deal with not a few people they've killed this time. They have to deal with a Legion of angry people.
Of course, the next Endbringer attack in that situation might be interesting. The First person where the Endbringers are coming to attack dies, cue the afterlife opening en masse and everyone who has died due to the Endbringers comes. Lead by every Hero and Villain who has died fighting the Endbringers.
- Location
- Nottinghamshire, England
You got that right!
Yeah, those would be AWESOME! I can't wait to see their respective reactions to the dead gunning for their (proverbial) asses!
- Location
- Море песка, солнце огня и множество злых сарацин
[] All of the above
But that's probably not an option, so...
[X] Afterlife Processing
I still think that the other two would also be nice to see, though.
But that's probably not an option, so...
[X] Afterlife Processing
I still think that the other two would also be nice to see, though.
Wild Speculation from Anfan
All I can picture here is those Zombie games that I've seen adds for on my phone. Where there are literal ladders of undead trying to pull themselves over a wall like ants, only with a lot less success. My point being, none of the dead Heroes or Villains will have powers. 💀
Other than Hax Undead Skillls 👻 that they are behind the curve learning work in the living world, unlike Taylor who has already pulled out the Flaming eyes and chainsaw to scare off a miscreant. I speculate later on how this is possible.
It's unlikely that they will all fail to try things that they have done in the after life though, so it's up to @I just write on whether those work or not. My ideas follow and are likely to be way off, but if @I just write likes them, feel free to make use. Or claim I'm reading your notes! I don't need credit for anything. If it's similar, it's just a case of great minds thinking alike. More than likely I'm just wandering off into left field with speculation.
If the Afterlife Processing Group that is meeting with Taylor has a say in what can be done outside the bounds of the veil, it might come up in the meeting.
And it would be likely that Taylor is going to be handed an awful lot of responsibilities and powers when the group decides it's her fault this is happening and she is going to have to create the Afterlife Response Team (ART, or Possibly the Haunting Response Team HRT) and the tie-in aspect of Haunters (similar to the Protectorate) that will try to be affiliated with the Protectorate if the Afterlife Processing Group, or it's backer(s), can restrict things undead can do that is. Might even be that said powers and effects that Taylor is pulling off are pulling their energy from the afterlife and can be restricted. I imagine that Taylor has created an awful lot of work behind the scenes with her antics. Especially if that energy is what maintains and creates the various environments that exist in the Afterlife.
Or she might become the first member of Haunters, the new organization set up to deal with what's happened, and become the "Poster Child" for the new setup. Whether she likes it or not. Drafted into service due to the hullabaloo she's created. Membership reenrollment mandatory baring review every 100 years. Review every 10 if exemplary service is noted. Depends on how much of a grudge the ones being troubled by all this are likely to hold against her.
Also depends on how long the joke is fresh if she's unintentionally provided a service to the afterlife. 
Afterlife powers that allow for the chainsaw, flight, and any other things that an undead member can figure out are only available to those who register and join Haunters. Said powers might be limited by how much energy it takes to manifest them and who is sponsoring the new Haunter by providing said energy. And might be packaged as a theme, leading to power groupings like live Heroes have. Afterlife Research and Entertainment groups are still trying to determine the best way to package this to keep things interesting enough to catch the interest of dead spirits that are really really old and have the extra power to enable the entire system. Taylor has been pulling off her stunts using the ambient energy that said older beings make available to try and encourage new ideas in young spirits, thus staving off boredom. This energy being available in Brockton Bay due to the tear she created leaking it into the area.
Undead can still get passports to visit the living, but it will only be at points where the veil is weakened specifically for transfer (likely linked to cemeteries in the living world), the rest of the veil having been reinforced to become a barrier again. Or possiblye the energy enabling spirits to manifest will be more specifically channeled and regulated outside the veil. A simple thing like flaming eyes, possessing your own corpse, and being extra creepy coming with the passport that allows visits. Funding for digging up said corpse available as said funding becomes generated by services rendered to the living. Anyone jumping the fence, so to speak, will be limited to a ghostly haunting that has little to no impact on the living world and are hard to see only enabled by said spirits own ability to generate effects. It encourages lawful traffic after all and allows usage of my supposed link for the energy requirement allowing for said control. This is all an experiment to determine if it will help the newest dead spirits be more creative in what they do when they die. Providing new and diverse ideas for the Afterlife Entertainment Group.
For those who don't "Play Nice" with the system, we can even have various Villainy groups of spirits that will be powered by a very old spirit that wants to play against the system and leaves the afterlife for the living world. This older spirit providing powers to younger ones who want to rebel. This will take quite some time to develop, however, given that it's the main reason for the tales of haunting that exist in the living world. Most remaining spirits don't really feel the desire to lash out that way, or don't play well for others and wear themselves out after making it to the living world and fade away, using up all their own energy. After all, said energy only is generated in the Afterlife. Moving to the living world for a spirit is a good way to end one's existence.
Taylor is lucking out here, because of the way she pierced the Veil. It's caused a leak of said energy into the region around her that's allowed her to perform more than she normally could as a new spirit. The meeting with the Afterlife Processing Group will be to determine how to handle this situation. And they aren't likely to let Taylor know right away if she's provided a Problem or a Service to the Afterlife. Depends on how much of a Troll Writer @I just write is and how that would impact the Afterlife Processing Group.
Hope my speculation was at least entertaining to those following this thread. I was in a creative mood tonight and it just seemed to flow easily. Normally I have a terrible time writing out my ideas, or putting words in order. I'm at that sweet spot where I'm feeling creative and my overly critical and picky side is either asleep or off visiting others.
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Oh, just had an important thought. Do the PTB's of the Afterlife have contact with any other afterlife? Meaning, do they know what is in store for Humanity given that there is a likely pattern of planets sentient life gaining powers, then entire sets of worlds dying off all at once? And if there is an afterlife, some of the deceased Shard Entities might be part of it...
Could impact how the people in charge direct the Afterlife Processing group. If there is any said PTB's. Has to be though, right? Or do those that don't get along and build up the areas of the afterlife, simply fade away and entropy takes them?
Could impact how the people in charge direct the Afterlife Processing group. If there is any said PTB's. Has to be though, right? Or do those that don't get along and build up the areas of the afterlife, simply fade away and entropy takes them?
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- Location
- United States
[X] Afterlife Processing
Bronze_Moose
Okay at Omake
- Location
- Port Angeles, Washington
[X] Piggot
[X] But can't you do all three?
[X] But can't you do all three?
- Location
- brazil
[X] Piggot
- Location
- Nottinghamshire, England
[X] All three (3)
-[X] If not possible, Piggot
-[X] If not possible, Piggot
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Going to be doing Piggot + Afterlife Processing
I look forward to the next chapter! Can't wait to see what Piggot's reaction to events is, and I'm eagerly looking to see if Taylor ends up in a hot seat! Or if it's the group looking to patent her SpiteSaw!
And it appears you want to keep your plot lines to yourself. A good plan for keeping your readers on the edge of their seats.
Thanks for the Wild Speculation threadmark! And it's appropriately Apocrypha. I suspect that I passed left field a little bit into that post I love stories that lead to wild speculation. They are fun to read and the anticipation while waiting is exciting.
And it appears you want to keep your plot lines to yourself. A good plan for keeping your readers on the edge of their seats.
Thanks for the Wild Speculation threadmark! And it's appropriately Apocrypha. I suspect that I passed left field a little bit into that post
I love stories that lead to wild speculation. They are fun to read and the anticipation while waiting is exciting.I believe we can say it is officially established since Taylor did Trigger in her locker before she died and now does not have bug powers.
MetaChthonia
Disco Inferno: ⌈I Learn Through Suffering⌋
- Location
- Somewhere, Elsewhere, Nowhere. Maybe. Probably.
[Space Economy]
[Space Economy]
[Space Economy]
I imagine she looks like that Titan running:
Flailing everywhere at 20MPH.
EVERY DAY IS NOW SPOOPYTIME! NYHEHEHEHEHEHEH!
I for some Reason Imagined this in the same Style as Prequel Adventures.
I imagine some of the more Edgelord Resurrected might actually try being vampires just to seem cool.
[Space Economy]
[Space Economy]
"Me an the girls at 2AM lookin for BEANZ "*
I imagine she looks like that Titan running:
Flailing everywhere at 20MPH.
It's not every night you see a spoopygurl go flailing down the sidewalk at midnight.
Capes are Parahumans who choose to punch people in the face. She is just dead but chose not to be. a Resurrected.
Ah, so that is why Exposition Fairy is here, she is being annoying. Thinking Taylor can freely turn herself into a bone rattler? Thinking she is a Natural C53?
Rex might just not want to come back.
BETTER RUN BOYS! GHOSTLUMBERJACK IS HERE FOR YOUR TOES!
EVERY DAY IS NOW SPOOPYTIME! NYHEHEHEHEHEHEH!
I for some Reason Imagined this in the same Style as Prequel Adventures.
Reminds me of a Post on Tumblr about a Millennia vampire, blasting Dank Smashmouth before a T-posing figure comes shooting out of the graveyard it is blasting from 10 feet off the ground.
I imagine some of the more Edgelord Resurrected might actually try being vampires just to seem cool.
The Bureaucrats aren't happy.
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- Location
- earth
I feel like slight crack is an understatement.
Interlude 2: Piggot/Afterlife Processing
We Just Write
Blatantly Plural
- Location
- New England
- Pronouns
- Plural
Being director of the PRT ENE was a stressful job at the best of times. Not only were there the constant worries about funding and obstructive bureaucrats that would come with being in any similar position, but then there were the particular difficulties unique to the PRT. First, there were the staffing problems; since there was no reliable way to induce Parahuman powers, this made it very difficult to actually choose who was working in the local Protectorate. On top of that, this same factor meant that the local hero roster was greatly outnumbered by their villainous counterparts.
That wasn't Emily Piggot's biggest grievance with her position however. No, that dubious honor went to the fact that every single time something sufficiently bizarre and unexpected happened, it was presumed to be a Parahuman's fault. This meant that in 90% of such cases, the responsibility to deal with it was dumped right on her. Case in point, a call over the intercom to her office had just arrived, saying "Ma'am. The coroners at the police station just reported that the corpse they were autopsying; a Taylor Hebert who attended Winslow, reanimated and asked for pants. Prior to the autopsy, the CDC retrieved her body from her locker at Winslow, which had been filled with biohazardous waste."
Hitting the button to return the message, Emily asked "Are you sure this isn't a case of her being in a coma and waking up at just the right time? That's happened before."
The clerk on the other end of the call replied "No Ma'am. Coma patients aren't undergoing rigor mortis, still have a heartbeat, and don't have green flames for eyes."
Groaning, the PRT Director replied "Sounds like we've either got a biotinker on the loose, or someone just Triggered. Tell Armsmaster to button up his armor in hazmat mode and go join in the interrogation to find out which is the case."
With that annoyance hopefully dealt with, Piggot returned to paperwork, and imagined nightmare scenarios about a biotinker unleashing a zombie army on Brockton Bay, hoping against hope that this was just a fluke.
Less than two hours later, that hope was unceremoniously dashed, though not in a way Piggot had ever expected. The debriefing had started fairly straightforward, until Emily asked Armsmaster "What was the subject's general condition during the interview?"
Much to the PRT director's surprise, Armsmaster answered "Completely and totally deceased. No body heat, no heartbeat, no brain activity, no signs of respiration, nothing. In addition, her soft tissues are actively undergoing decomposition. I have no explanation for how she was moving around and talking despite these factors, as Taylor passed a cursory Master/Stranger analysis and there are no Parahumans on record capable of both puppeting a corpse with such precision while also causing them to manifest green flames for eyes."
There were several moments of awkward silence, before Emily got her thoughts together enough to ask "Does the subject have any sort of explanation for this state of affairs?" it was probably wrong, whatever she'd come up with, but it would at least grant some insight into how the latest addition to the shitshow that was Brockton Bay thought.
Without delay, Armsmaster stated "According to Taylor, she is in fact actually deceased, visited the afterlife, and forcibly made an exit with a chainsaw she imagined into existence. At least legally speaking, she's correct when it comes to being deceased, as she meets the official definitions."
There was a brief pause, as Armsmaster caught his breath. "In addition, Taylor claims that she was murdered by a trio of assailants including Shadow Stalker's civilian identity, and has provided additional evidence in the form of detailed documentation of a vicious ongoing bullying campaign."
Narrowing her eyes, Piggot simply hit the intercom and stated "Renick, have both of Shadow Stalker's phones confiscated immediately and confine her to quarters. She has been recently implicated in a potential parole violation and her phones may have incriminating evidence in them."
Turning back to Armsmaster, Piggot practically growled "Is there anything else I need to know?" while stewing in such immense amounts of rage that if it were a form of energy, she would have slagged the entire solar system.
Spurius Marsus, now simply going by Spur among friends and co-workers, had been dead for a bit over two millenia now. He had also been working with Afterlife Processing for about a century, enjoying the work of welcoming new souls to the afterlife greatly. With such a massive amount of experience, he had seen many people declaring that they'd be going right back to land of the living, followed by their attempts inevitably failing. Therefore, when miss Hebert came through making the exact same declaration he'd seen made time and time again (including by her mother), Spur hadn't paid the matter much attention.
Then Rosy, one of his co-workers had burst into his office and loudly proclaimed "Spur, I just saw a new arrival successfully chainsaw a hole in the afterlife barrier! According to her she got the instructions for how to do it from someone else who figured it out first, which means that someone who died recently succeeded."
Completely staggered by the implications of this, Spur took a few moments to come up with a response, before asking "Did she just use a chainsaw, or did she employ some sort of other trick in addition to that?"
Awkwardly waving the catlike tail she'd altered her appearance to have, Rosy fired back immediately "Just the chainsaw, as far as I could tell."
Thinking for a moment, Spur rubbed his chin and noted "We should go through the records of recent arrivals who made a Lazarus Declaration. If we find any who can't be located in the afterlife, or have been recorded entering multiple times by the entry machine, there's our first example of a successful Lazarus Declaration."
Blood red eyes focused intently on Spur as Rosy asked "So, shall we get to it?"
Two minutes later, and both Rosy and Spur were at a terminal for Afterlife Processing's Filing and Locating Engine, quite possibly the single oldest computer-like device in existence. It had been actively worked on and tinkered with since records started being kept of new arrivals to the afterlife, and it swiftly became clear that a large enough team of clerks to keep track of everything manually would be almost entirely self-defeating. As such, the Engine was comprised of a mishmash of components from nearly every era. There were parts literally made by mesolithic stonecrafters right next to hyper-modern integrated circuit chips, mostly held together by what could only be described as literal magic. It was a common suspicion among workers of Afterlife Processing that the Engine was in fact deliberately failing the sapience tests it had been regularly subjected to ever since Alan Turing died.
Oddities aside, the Filing Engine still performed its task with the extreme efficiency of a system that had been continuously improved and refined for millenia, rapidly returning all files matching the search terms. Those search terms were for files within the last 72 hours with a positive Lazarus Declaration checkmark, who were not instances of Tess Richter AKA Dragon, and who had either been detected entering the afterlife more than once, or were not present in the afterlife despite having previously entered. Half a second later, six files were produced:
Samantha J. Parish, the lady Rosy had watched chainsaw a hole in the barrier.
Brandon Morris
Taylor Hebert
Arseniy Krupin
Casey Fowler
Dalubuhle (Born Beautiful) Mbhodwe
Of this list, Morris, Krupin, Fowler, and Mbhodwe were currently in the afterlife and thus easily queried; meanwhile Parish was confirmed as being in the land of the living at the moment, which left only Taylor Hebert unaccounted for. Now the only remaining question was to figure out why Taylor had been successful in her Lazarus Declaration when so many before using the exact same method had failed...
Piggot's chest hurt. So did everything else.
"No pulse!"
Her vision was darkening around the edges, and she felt very tired.
"We need that defibrilator NOW!"
Maybe she could just nap for a little while.
"Clear!"
Suddenly, nothing hurt anymore.
"Hello, and welcome to the Afterlife Processing Center."
That wasn't Emily Piggot's biggest grievance with her position however. No, that dubious honor went to the fact that every single time something sufficiently bizarre and unexpected happened, it was presumed to be a Parahuman's fault. This meant that in 90% of such cases, the responsibility to deal with it was dumped right on her. Case in point, a call over the intercom to her office had just arrived, saying "Ma'am. The coroners at the police station just reported that the corpse they were autopsying; a Taylor Hebert who attended Winslow, reanimated and asked for pants. Prior to the autopsy, the CDC retrieved her body from her locker at Winslow, which had been filled with biohazardous waste."
Hitting the button to return the message, Emily asked "Are you sure this isn't a case of her being in a coma and waking up at just the right time? That's happened before."
The clerk on the other end of the call replied "No Ma'am. Coma patients aren't undergoing rigor mortis, still have a heartbeat, and don't have green flames for eyes."
Groaning, the PRT Director replied "Sounds like we've either got a biotinker on the loose, or someone just Triggered. Tell Armsmaster to button up his armor in hazmat mode and go join in the interrogation to find out which is the case."
With that annoyance hopefully dealt with, Piggot returned to paperwork, and imagined nightmare scenarios about a biotinker unleashing a zombie army on Brockton Bay, hoping against hope that this was just a fluke.
Less than two hours later, that hope was unceremoniously dashed, though not in a way Piggot had ever expected. The debriefing had started fairly straightforward, until Emily asked Armsmaster "What was the subject's general condition during the interview?"
Much to the PRT director's surprise, Armsmaster answered "Completely and totally deceased. No body heat, no heartbeat, no brain activity, no signs of respiration, nothing. In addition, her soft tissues are actively undergoing decomposition. I have no explanation for how she was moving around and talking despite these factors, as Taylor passed a cursory Master/Stranger analysis and there are no Parahumans on record capable of both puppeting a corpse with such precision while also causing them to manifest green flames for eyes."
There were several moments of awkward silence, before Emily got her thoughts together enough to ask "Does the subject have any sort of explanation for this state of affairs?" it was probably wrong, whatever she'd come up with, but it would at least grant some insight into how the latest addition to the shitshow that was Brockton Bay thought.
Without delay, Armsmaster stated "According to Taylor, she is in fact actually deceased, visited the afterlife, and forcibly made an exit with a chainsaw she imagined into existence. At least legally speaking, she's correct when it comes to being deceased, as she meets the official definitions."
There was a brief pause, as Armsmaster caught his breath. "In addition, Taylor claims that she was murdered by a trio of assailants including Shadow Stalker's civilian identity, and has provided additional evidence in the form of detailed documentation of a vicious ongoing bullying campaign."
Narrowing her eyes, Piggot simply hit the intercom and stated "Renick, have both of Shadow Stalker's phones confiscated immediately and confine her to quarters. She has been recently implicated in a potential parole violation and her phones may have incriminating evidence in them."
Turning back to Armsmaster, Piggot practically growled "Is there anything else I need to know?" while stewing in such immense amounts of rage that if it were a form of energy, she would have slagged the entire solar system.
Spurius Marsus, now simply going by Spur among friends and co-workers, had been dead for a bit over two millenia now. He had also been working with Afterlife Processing for about a century, enjoying the work of welcoming new souls to the afterlife greatly. With such a massive amount of experience, he had seen many people declaring that they'd be going right back to land of the living, followed by their attempts inevitably failing. Therefore, when miss Hebert came through making the exact same declaration he'd seen made time and time again (including by her mother), Spur hadn't paid the matter much attention.
Then Rosy, one of his co-workers had burst into his office and loudly proclaimed "Spur, I just saw a new arrival successfully chainsaw a hole in the afterlife barrier! According to her she got the instructions for how to do it from someone else who figured it out first, which means that someone who died recently succeeded."
Completely staggered by the implications of this, Spur took a few moments to come up with a response, before asking "Did she just use a chainsaw, or did she employ some sort of other trick in addition to that?"
Awkwardly waving the catlike tail she'd altered her appearance to have, Rosy fired back immediately "Just the chainsaw, as far as I could tell."
Thinking for a moment, Spur rubbed his chin and noted "We should go through the records of recent arrivals who made a Lazarus Declaration. If we find any who can't be located in the afterlife, or have been recorded entering multiple times by the entry machine, there's our first example of a successful Lazarus Declaration."
Blood red eyes focused intently on Spur as Rosy asked "So, shall we get to it?"
Two minutes later, and both Rosy and Spur were at a terminal for Afterlife Processing's Filing and Locating Engine, quite possibly the single oldest computer-like device in existence. It had been actively worked on and tinkered with since records started being kept of new arrivals to the afterlife, and it swiftly became clear that a large enough team of clerks to keep track of everything manually would be almost entirely self-defeating. As such, the Engine was comprised of a mishmash of components from nearly every era. There were parts literally made by mesolithic stonecrafters right next to hyper-modern integrated circuit chips, mostly held together by what could only be described as literal magic. It was a common suspicion among workers of Afterlife Processing that the Engine was in fact deliberately failing the sapience tests it had been regularly subjected to ever since Alan Turing died.
Oddities aside, the Filing Engine still performed its task with the extreme efficiency of a system that had been continuously improved and refined for millenia, rapidly returning all files matching the search terms. Those search terms were for files within the last 72 hours with a positive Lazarus Declaration checkmark, who were not instances of Tess Richter AKA Dragon, and who had either been detected entering the afterlife more than once, or were not present in the afterlife despite having previously entered. Half a second later, six files were produced:
Samantha J. Parish, the lady Rosy had watched chainsaw a hole in the barrier.
Brandon Morris
Taylor Hebert
Arseniy Krupin
Casey Fowler
Dalubuhle (Born Beautiful) Mbhodwe
Of this list, Morris, Krupin, Fowler, and Mbhodwe were currently in the afterlife and thus easily queried; meanwhile Parish was confirmed as being in the land of the living at the moment, which left only Taylor Hebert unaccounted for. Now the only remaining question was to figure out why Taylor had been successful in her Lazarus Declaration when so many before using the exact same method had failed...
Piggot's chest hurt. So did everything else.
"No pulse!"
Her vision was darkening around the edges, and she felt very tired.
"We need that defibrilator NOW!"
Maybe she could just nap for a little while.
"Clear!"
Suddenly, nothing hurt anymore.
"Hello, and welcome to the Afterlife Processing Center."