Voting is open
Confused Jackie Chan and Facepalming Picard Counter New
All Instances of Confused Jackie Chan & Facepalming Picard



Total Confused Jackie Chan Tally: VII

1D100 = 6+25+5+10-15 = 31 (The heck? :jackiechan: )
1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat!Fail! 7 (Why do I even bother... :jackiechan:)
1D3+3 = 3+3 => 6! ( :jackiechan: )
:jackiechan: Bro, at this point, the dice just have a mind of their own. And no one can convince me otherwise.
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = Nat! 97+20+10-10-15 => Nat!Crit! 87 ( :jackiechan: What is going on?!)
1D100 = Nat! 1+15+15-20 => Nat!Fail! 11 ( :jackiechan: THREE NAT ONES?!?!?!)

|==================================|

Total Facepalming Picard Tally: VII

1D100 = Nat! 2+20+10-15-10 = Nat Crit! 7 ( :facepalm: ...of course.)
1D100 = Nat! 96+25+15+10+5 = Nat!Crit! 151 ( :facepalm: Oh, screw off.)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20-15-10 => Neg!Fail! -4 ( :facepalm: Of course...)
1D100 = Nat! 1+20+10-15 => Nat!Fail! 16 ( :jackiechan: I... Buh... Whu... :facepalm:)
1D100 = 11+15+15-20 => 21 ( :facepalm: Can anything be normal in my quest?)
1D100 = 85+15+10-15 => Art!Crit! 95 ( :facepalm: I'm done... I've had enough of this.)



@Randomnerd, thank you for the idea.
 
Last edited:
Fucking Magoose Dice, I tell ya. You let them go for a walk then they ruin other people's damn quests I tell you what?!

Anyway... I shall vote.

[x] Plan All In
Honestly that's more emberassing then the real history of the battle of bunker hill for the American Revolution. The Redcoats literally dropped the ball when they had a chance to gain a victory while our allies were still fortifying their position, instead it was our allies, fellow American Revolutionaries who defeated them even when unprepared.
Ironically, I think that this battle of Bunker hill is actually less of an embarrassment then IRL for two reasons.

1. we were in an even better-entrenched position, and building better then IRL, and we counter-attacked immediately before they had a foot hold...

2. they lost less men, killed wounded or captured and while we almost got Gentlemen Johnny, he escaped, and the officers that died in the battle, at least, are not dead, unless I am wrong.
Meanwhile George III rolls a 1 and dies on the toilet
That would actually be a bad thing, for many reasons.

George the 4 may be a financial disaster for the Exchecor and royal finances, but that man was a francophile and he was certainly a gentleman who could severely wreck our possibly needed alliance with France.

Be honest look at his record and political alliances with Fox and his ilk and tell me the man wasn't at least willing to get comfy with France. (Yes I know he was fighting against napoleon and he did a fine job in the regency, but in my reading paints him different in my eyes)

Also, a Teenage king desperate for glory might do some crazy shit especially if he goes behind Lord North.
This genuinely might change the entire course of the early war. If the Revolutionaries crushed the British at Bunker Hill, it'd inspire so much more to join the cause, and might even sway things in Canada.
I mean, maybe, esspcially if we can prevent the Regulars from escaping to HAlifax. then the early war is really up in the air.
Oh that would be interesting having Canadian revolutionaries join the revolution. It would make things much more different then historically. And I know which plan I vote that will guarantee it to happen.
Benny A deserves all the support and we should do everything in our power to get onto Washington staff and give it to him. I want to save Benny A and turn him into a real American hero.

Even if it means he has to die at Saratoga. :V
Howe and Clinton are probably gonna get severely reprimanded. Assuming they don't explode to the sheer force of Magoose Dice.
I don't think they would get fired or reprimanded for losing one battle where they did not have a huge disaster.

part two bunker hill however?
 
Last edited:
I don't think they would get fired or reprimanded for losing one battle where they did not have a huge disaster.

If they keep crit failing in part 2 of Bunker Hill I will get in my Tardis and reprimand them myself

Also if Benedict Arnold actually did die at Saratoga there would be streets and schools named after him for sure, don't @ me :V
 
Last edited:
Now, now, let's not get too ambitious here. Quebec is in an odd place with it feudal-style governance of seigneurs over habitants, and both the Americans and British fundamentally misunderstood their culture. Ultimately, Quebec was fine with British rule at the moment, and America invading only cemented their siding with the British. So, really, everything is still up in the air regarding them. Now, the Letters to Quebec (an attempt by the Americans to win Quebec over to their side) have started in the month of June, the current month in quest. So... I'll probably roll and see if they were more effective this time around.

2. they lost less men, killed wounded or captured and while we almost got Gentlemen Johnny, he escaped, and the officers that died in the battle, at least, are not dead, unless I am wrong.
Actually, it was Clinton you nearly caught. Both IOTL and in quest, he was out scouting and the one who first discovered the Americans fortifying Breed's Hill. He's also the one who led the initial assault before hastily retreating when things quickly went pear-shaped.
 
Now, now, let's not get too ambitious here. Quebec is in an odd place with it feudal-style governance of seigneurs over habitants, and both the Americans and British fundamentally misunderstood their culture. Ultimately, Quebec was fine with British rule at the moment, and America invading only cemented their siding with the British. Now, the Letters to Quebec (an attempt by the Americans to win Quebec over to their side) have started in the month of June, the current month in quest. So... I'll probably roll and see if they were more effective this time around.

You do have an extremely legit point, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one here on the "Make Benedict Arnold a Patriot Hero" train, so we'll take what we can :V
 
Actually, it was Clinton you nearly caught. Both IOTL and in quest, he was out scouting and the one who first discovered the Americans fortifying Breed's Hill. He's also the one who led the initial assault before hastily retreating when things quickly went pear-shaped.
THats on me for thinking it was Johnny and not clinton.
Now, now, let's not get too ambitious here. Quebec is in an odd place with it feudal-style governance of seigneurs over habitants, and both the Americans and British fundamentally misunderstood their culture. Ultimately, Quebec was fine with British rule at the moment, and America invading only cemented their siding with the British. Now, the Letters to Quebec (an attempt by the Americans to win Quebec over to their side) have started in the month of June, the current month in quest. So... I'll probably roll and see if they were more effective this time around.
I actually think you shouldn't not because of the effectiveness of it, but because our actions here show weakness inthe British control in the Americas. which would be more effective then anything Congress can write down.
You do have an extremely legit point, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one here on the "Make Benedict Arnold a Patriot Hero" train, so we'll take what we can :V
Hey now, Benny A was a patriot hero, because he threw it all away for money, and got remembered as a traitor.

I think that man was America's tragic hero... turned villian.

the fact he wanted to sell West Point... still gets me. I get that it was one of the greatest fortifications of the war but still... West Point.
 
THats on me for thinking it was Johnny and not clinton.

I actually think you shouldn't not because of the effectiveness of it, but because our actions here show weakness inthe British control in the Americas. which would be more effective then anything Congress can write down.

Hey now, Benny A was a patriot hero, because he threw it all away for money, and got remembered as a traitor.

I think that man was America's tragic hero... turned villian.

the fact he wanted to sell West Point... still gets me. I get that it was one of the greatest fortifications of the war but still... West Point.

Our goal for the quest is to get Jonathan Halbert to lightly shake Benny A and get him to see reason. Reason in the Thirteen. Reason in America. Reason in patriotism. Reason in Magoose Dice.
 
Our goal for the quest is to get Jonathan Halbert to lightly shake Benny A and get him to see reason. Reason in the Thirteen. Reason in America. Reason in patriotism. Reason in Magoose Dice.
I don't think making Benny A to see reason is the thing that would make him stay in the revolution.

Him not have commanders that decided that they were going to steal credit and belittle him for his personal bravery and valor... Looking at you Gates. and Lee, and Schuyster.

As well as him getting fucking financially ruined by doing things for the revolution that most people who fought in the war never did... would take a toll.

And trusting the wrong woman to be his wife.
 
Last edited:
You do have an extremely legit point, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one here on the "Make Benedict Arnold a Patriot Hero" train, so we'll take what we can :V
Hey, I'm on your side here as well. :D Benedict Arnold certainly deserves the chance to become more than just a name synonymous with betrayal.
 
I don't think making Benny A to see reason is the thing that would make him stay in the revolution.

Him not have commanders that decided that they were going to steal credit and belittle him for his personal bravery and valor...

As well as him getting fucking financially ruined by doing things for the revolution that most people who fought in the war never did... would take a toll.

And trusting the wrong woman to be his wife.

Trust in the dice that bare your name
 
[x] Plan: Save me a piece man!

I'd like to attempt to persuade the British POWs to join our side by convincing them they they're nothing but cannon fodder and if they won, they won't be reward and compensated for their service.
 
I'd like to attempt to persuade the British POWs to join our side by convincing them they they're nothing but cannon fodder and if they won, they won't be reward and compensated for their service.
Not at all possible at this point in time. A bare chance of this maybe working after Second Bunker Hill (even then, you're more likely to find oil in Maine), but no way in heck is it working now.
 
Not at all possible at this point in time. A bare chance of this maybe working after Second Bunker Hill (even then, you're more likely to find oil in Maine), but no way in heck is it working now.
In addition to that, its not like we have the Hessians coming here who would be more susceptible to such a thing, which did happen by the way.

The average regular was loyal to King and country, and this was a civil war where we are rebelling against King and Country. No way that this will ever change that.
 
I- Buh-

Holy fucking shit. This is a genuine, world-class emasculation of the British. OTL, it was bad enough that the Redcoats took nearly a thousand casualties, but the fact is, OTL, they were still able to take Breed's Hill and Bunker Hill after the Colonists ran out of ammo. This? This is a hundred times worse. Not only did the 'colonial rabble' NOT break and run upon seeing the then-greatest army in the world marching towards them, they fumbled the attack so badly that they were completely broken by a counter-charge and had hundreds captured.


The rider grinned as he proudly patted the horse's neck. "Got to thank General Clinton for it, sir. Poor boy was left behind by the general; bastard just barely managed to slip back into the bay before we could catch him."

He's not going to be General for long. Clinton will be lucky if he keeps his head, much less his post. I cannot imagine the disgrace he is under right now for fucking up like this.
 
Also, really playing into the famous line in the opening: I'm looking at life through my own eyes/Searching for a hero to idolize/Feeling the pain as innocence dies..."
+20 to any Action related to the Liberty's Kids characters or Dr. Warren (if he survives) next turn. Also, Dr. Warren will receive a good bonus during the Battle of Bunker Hill.
 
He's not going to be General for long. Clinton will be lucky if he keeps his head, much less his post. I cannot imagine the disgrace he is under right now for fucking up like this.
What if he redeems himself and wins a smashing victory next time?

I think then he might keep his head if that happens.

+20 to any Action related to the Liberty's Kids characters or Dr. Warren (if he survives) next turn. Also, Dr. Warren will receive a good bonus during the Battle of Bunker Hill.
Awesome...

Now to begin the Benny A Omake.
 
Voting is open
Back
Top