Will you atleast try to do the "Victory lap around my Father and her Alternates as I assert my dominance of actually having a decent rule, over them" Omake?
My Life as Mordred in Warhammer World After Training on Earth Bet
- Thread starter wowow2264
- Start date
- Mature Fantasy
I did have plans for a sequel in DXD where Mordred is fleeing from Chaos across the void because she can't enter Warhammer World anymore and makes a deal with God to be a Sacred Gear for a while in exchange for getting to hide there but there are a couple reasons why I decided not to.
One is that before doing a sequel, I'd want to do a rewrite on a massive scale, add in that mercenary arc I cut out, cut out the entire CYOA and Worm stuff and instead just SI!Mordred being dumped into WHF, give Cobbelly and Ulrich actual character interactions and depth as characters, have actual interactions with the dwarfs instead of hi/byes, do actual war arcs instead of Mordred Came, Saw, and Slaughtered, the big bads may or may not get death scenes instead of being off screened, do a proper merge of Mordred's personality and mine instead of it being mostly mine with a couple hints of hers, do way more with the WHF gods in general, and so on.
This would naturally totally change the story into something else and take a lot of time, years in fact, based on my current speed and I'm only a month and a half away from having been writing this for an entire year. As much as I would love to do the rewrite and do the original concept justice, the sheer amount of time and energy it would take for a proper rewrite is just not worth it to me and is unlikely to ever be worth the cost in time and energy I could be spending on other things.
That leads into my next reason. Money is slowly getting tighter and tighter for my family and while I will finish this story come hell or high waters, if I want justify the amount of time I spend writing this to both myself and my family instead of getting a job to help pay the bills, I need to get a Ko Fi or Pateron (which I currently don't have because I'm absolutely terrified of Games Workshop's lawyers) and hope to god that people like my writing enough that they are willing to give me money without basically any incentives besides warm fuzzy feelings and ensuring I can keep putting a update out every other week instead of taking several months per chapter at best. And any sequel to this is too close in my mind to getting sued by Games Workshop if I ever opened a pateron/ko-fi which is as I said a problem since I do in fact need to start generating an income this year, preferably sooner rather than later, one way or another.
This would naturally totally change the story into something else and take a lot of time, years in fact, based on my current speed and I'm only a month and a half away from having been writing this for an entire year. As much as I would love to do the rewrite and do the original concept justice, the sheer amount of time and energy it would take for a proper rewrite is just not worth it to me and is unlikely to ever be worth the cost in time and energy I could be spending on other things.
That leads into my next reason. Money is slowly getting tighter and tighter for my family and while I will finish this story come hell or high waters, if I want justify the amount of time I spend writing this to both myself and my family instead of getting a job to help pay the bills, I need to get a Ko Fi or Pateron (which I currently don't have because I'm absolutely terrified of Games Workshop's lawyers) and hope to god that people like my writing enough that they are willing to give me money without basically any incentives besides warm fuzzy feelings and ensuring I can keep putting a update out every other week instead of taking several months per chapter at best. And any sequel to this is too close in my mind to getting sued by Games Workshop if I ever opened a pateron/ko-fi which is as I said a problem since I do in fact need to start generating an income this year, preferably sooner rather than later, one way or another.
What AGiant said, basically she has anywhere between 20 to 80 percent of the population per non-hostile nation as worshipers or at least adding worship of her alongside their regular gods.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the lizardfolk, on one hand it would be really cool to see Mordred hang out with them but on the other hand she is foreign to the world and outside of The Plan which means there is a high chance of the lizards deciding she needs to die and that means she would have to wipe them all out to stop the attacks on her which is bad because the lizards do some pretty important stuff for the stability of the world.
Hmm, another SI!Mordred? maybe in the distant future, I'd like to give writing other characters a shot before I do another one with Mordred.
I will probably do a few Omakes once I get the actual story finished while I figure what I'm going to do next, I have a few ideas for a new story but I haven't gotten them to click into something more than that.
- Location
- India
Does her descendants all have magical core and circuits?
Can they able use all the winds and high magic?
Can they able use all the winds and high magic?
How about something I have Never seen before.
SI!Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite.
SI gets Worm V3, Crossovers as her with her powers and picks Charles Atlas, Comic book Pretty, Special Snowflake and Woman of Mystery.
First perk enhances her mind as well as her body, so she can rapidly get a handle on the Tear powers.
Comic Book Pretty is so Charles Atlas doesn't make her look roided out. Nothing wrong with bodybuilder women, but that isn't Elizabeth's appeal.
Special Snowflake is to prevent her powers from ever being Nerfed again by Daddy NotsoDearest.
And Women of Mystery is so that Daddy and his crew can never follow or find her again.
SI!Elizabeth wakes up in Worm and Nopes off to somewhere else. The story begins.
How's that sound?
GeekGod_of_Speed
He Who Enjoys The Big Words
I reckon a DXD trip would've done great, as she is a goddess and thus at least on par with most characters in the series. Making her a sacred gear? I'm not sure how that'd work, as I've never read a fic from that pov
At the very least I reckon an omake of her interacting with Excalibur and the pendragons would be fun, I'm picturing a Gordon Ramsey worthy bashing of the sword and what the family has been doing
- Location
- Pale Blue Dot
Hm.
Hmm....
I'm sure Bretonnia isn't in any way or form planning to do something if they think they have a chance. Nope. Impossiburu.
Also, I'm hoping Mordred is trying to support the Cult of Morr a bit now and then. To me, they kind of looked like one of the very few things about the old Empire that was not broken, and if that church can make it through that kind of corruption for that long, it's definitely worth keeping.
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Dimensionist
Grandmaster of Apologism, Keeper of the Faith
- Location
- Bangalore, India
So ... is she just letting Bretonnia kill her worshippers without doing anything about it?
xbox432
Lover of Editing
That is something I've been daydreaming about as well. From what I understand, Mordred has kept a very "hands-off" approach to her cult, so that might be something she can address now that she's no longer Empress. Ya know, gather the leaders of her cult together and lay down some ground rules? Because other than the VERY brief talk she had back when she first established Drachenhole I don't think she's told her followers her expectations. And, well, I don't think she'd want to be responsible for her cult ending up like Sigmar's...
Maybe codify that genocide against other races and religions is bad m'kay? Excepting the ones who follow the Ruinous Powers, of course. Maybe point out that the Dwarves have been friends to, and helped solidify the rule of, the last two Human Gods? It might help the humans out in the future, and flatter the Dwarves, if she just outright says that Humanity does its best when it has Dwarven allies. Both for aid, and to keep their egos(corruption) in check. After all, if a Dwarven kingdom doesn't want to have political relations with a Human ruler, there is probably a damned good reason for it.
Then for the other cults she could point out that while they may all follow different gods, they DO stand unified against the Ruinous Powers in defense of Humanity and the world. It might be amusing if her "hobby" now that she's retired is actually putting together a Human pantheon like what the Elves and Dwarves have, hell, even the Orcs have Gork and Mork working together. Though considering the Lady's actions Mordred will probably punch her in the face... Eh, all pantheons have some internal friction. And hey! The Cult of Morr and the Cult of Mordred even have a lot in common, just look at their names!
On a side note, I kinda wonder what King Truefist thinks of Mordred's ramblings? Especially her thoughts on how stagnation is what rots Human nations? I'd think it would make for a good bit of Dwarven philosophy. The Dwarves make VERY slow and steady progress, while the Humans have bursts of inspiration followed by years of nothing really happening. After a bit Humanity hits a block, throws a revolutionary tantrum, then sprints toward its new goals. With their long history with Humanity, and their long memory, the Dwarves could be in the unique situation of being able to understand how Humans work better than Humans themselves.
*edit* And maybe point out that the Halflings grow most of their food and it's kind of a dick move to treat them as lesser beings? Also, that they are at the perfect height to either kneecap you or punch you in the crotch.
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- Location
- Pale Blue Dot
Wasn't there something about The Lady actually being the elder goddess Lileath, who was holding back Bretonnia a lot, culturally speaking? The kind of goddess you wouldn't want to have in your pantheon at all? Lots of power, BUT... (All peasants are honorless! Keep them down! etc. The Lady is known to be very fickle even to her own followers.)
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The mad lad done what his father never could: stand down and left his kingdoms to his heir instead of stubbornly clinging to his rule and letting it progress into an open revolt
How I've decided it will work is that the further in generations from Mordred they are, the less they get of her power. There is a minimum cap, even a few thousand generations later descendant will have at least E rank physical ability and B rank in Magic (B rank being the lowest that one of her descendant's magical circuits can degrade over the generations.) by 18 years of age. Whereas Johen and Greggory are pretty much A rank in everything at this point and if they go full Might Guy or Rock Lee then they can probably hit X100 physically. Magically their only limitations are skill, knowledge, and output.
Degradation of magical circuits will be pretty rapid, dropping from magical cores down to just absurd amounts of magical circuits with the third and then bottoming out by the 5th generation with the exception of Artoria who is basically a 3rd gen in terms of magic circuits because Mordred used some to do emergency repairs on Artoria's soul to prevent her going utterly insane.
Because they have magical circuits, they have a amazing filter for dark magic and some degree of magic resistance, allowing them to
Physical caps are A rank for 2nd gen and below without extreme focus on breaking that and are hard capped at X100 aka A+ rank.
Sounds like the perfect setup for basically a Jumper (jumpchain) without any jump perks. Not something I really want to write, partly because I have a negative impression of Elizabeth and I just can't bring myself to like her. Partly because I want to avoid power fantasies for whatever I write next and both world hopping and CYOAs just lend themselves way too easily to that and are far too much of a slippery slope when I'm trying to avoid that.
A lot of it would be more following around her hosts and what they are doing mixed with chatting with them and/or fucking them over if she doesn't like them. Since she went into it willingly and is meant to be let out later, she can cut off any use of her gear completely if she doesn't like them. The timeline would follow a bit before God dies and then follow the events of the world from there, she would be another Longinus and be released from her healing pod/quarantine chamber at some point during canon, likely during a dramatic fight when her current host is about to lose.
Oh yeah, Morr and Shallya are basically the only two not fucking up as far as I know. Mordred has definitely spread the Morr cult as far as she could and tried to get people to bury their dead in one of the gardens/graveyards. 1, because those in the graveyards can't get back up and eat their still living family and 2, the stronger Morr is, the safer everyone else's (including her descendants) souls are.
economic sanctions, blacklisting them, etc. Things she can do without being forced to butcher them. She is also empowering exposed bretonnian followers with spare bits of power but well... the SI part of Mordred is going, "morally, I should do something about this but come on! They are practically asking for a darwin award! Just stop worshiping me and you won't be sentenced to death! It's not that hard! I legitmately never wanted your worship anyways so stop already!" She has also in the background stopped her divine system from interacting with bretonnians on the vain hope that they will get the hint they should stop throwing their lives away.
She really doesn't need to say this, interspecies relationships have been at a all time high, the dwarfs and elves can even tolerate working together to kill mutual enemies now!
Well, part of it was peer to peer ramblings but he also took some of it as a senior(Mordred) giving insight to a junior(Truefist) on a matter.
Halflings are actually doing very well right now, they are very popular in the southern most regions of Drachenreich since they were the OG followers of Mordred and export tons and tons of food to the rest of Drachenreich. They still have a tendency of borrowing without asking but Mordred managed to instill a rule of being capable of replacing whatever (via making it or buying a new one) you are borrowing into their general culture which isn't a perfect fix but it is something.
l have not been keeping up with the chat but do you roughly now what your righting next or are you taking suggestions @wowow2264 ? but im also guessing that will still be a few months off so you can get relaxed after a project
I'm not taking suggestions but I am still figuring out what I want to write. I've got a couple ideas, one is reusing my absolute flop of a quest's system to do a SI into a generic world, be that cultivation, sci fi, fantasy, or some version of modern. Another is doing the rite of passage and writing an Alt Power Taylor Worm fic, I have an idea for a power there that I'm deliberately not mentioning that I think would be an unique/fun enough spin on things for everyone to enjoy.
A lot of my troubles comes from the fact that most of the settings that I think would be cool, I only know via fanfic (which often don't go past a certain point with or without derailing) and can't stand the OG media hence why I'm now looking at just making my own worlds so I can know everything needed for plot and not get caught out by not knowing there was someone equal to Contessa in the world who should have stomped me into the ground the moment I arrived.
Edit: And yeah, there would be a period of down time as I readjust and get ready to do another story.
Edit 2: While I'm not taking suggestions, people are free to comment/discuss the ideas I have brought up, even if it just to say you aren't interested in them.
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Captain_Saint
Observer Meddler Annihilator...totally not Evil
if your doing an alt power Taylor, do a progression of Artoria Saber Lilly to Artoria Saber to Artoria Lancer and maybe to the Ruler version as end dex, from innocent Saber to perfect Saber to mature Lancer to a content Ruler. In the end, it's your choice.
XelianEmperor
Fragile. Handle with care
"Ah you see she is not a daughter of Sigmar or Ulric Its quite obvious really. SHE IS MORRdred not SIGMARDREDD"
Actually my alt power idea is not at all related to Fate or Warhammer, it comes from a Disney series. Though I might make use of this idea if I ever get around to my Mordred!Vista idea.
Funnily enough, one of the most popular ideas in universe is that Mordred's parents are Shallya and Ranald, which would make her Morr's granddaughter. In most versions, Ranald is a deadbeat and Mordred gets raised by Shallya and Myrmidia(Shallya's sister and where Mordred supposedly gets her skills and power in battle)
Edit: perhaps I should clarify that this is my headcanon but as the author, that means it is canon.
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BlackBaron
Inspector General
- Location
- Michigan, USA
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
You wouldn't have to rewrite everything if you really wanted to make the story better. You have most of the main story already here, though it seemed to have transformed from a straightforward narrative into a semi drabble format, which would work for time skips, interludes, and side story exposition. Its not bad, but there is definitely a feel of there trying to be as stuff as much time and events into each chapter in one update, as opposed to naturally letting one event flow into another. Think of it like a wave:
Narrative Plots normally are done in a wave like format going from the story's introduction to the rising action, which leads to the climax that descends with falling action, before finally reaching the story's resolution and conclusion (introduction -> rising action -> climax -> falling action -> resolution) as seen in figure 1 below. That's the typical set up for most stories, which are designed to fit within a set time, like in a film. In a film they want to tell the story in a set amount of time, and once done the movie ends. In a film series, each film is its own adventure set within an overarching story like In Lord of the Rings, you have three films, each with their own adventure occurring within each film, but they conclude those stories at the end while teasing the next part of the series, (In the Fellowship of the Ring, they conclude the film with the death of Boromir and the breaking of the Fellowship, while teasing the next movie with Merry and Pippen get taken while Frodo continues East with Sam). That's how books and films are usually done they have the single plot that starts and ends in one go, but television shows, and book series over multiple books like comic books are more complex.
Figure 1 (Narrative Plotline)
For something like television shows, comic books, manga, etc. (Fanfiction also tends to fall into this) they are more episodic in nature, meaning that while each individual episode or book has their own individual narrative, they are also often part of overarching narratives that can go on for several installments (think several small narrative plot lines attached to form one big plotline). Depending on how the story operates, some episodes or books may be completely stand-alone without any actual overarching plot like most tv sitcoms, which don't normally have storylines that continue from episode to episode, (Ex. Friends, the Simpsons, or Spongebob), sometimes they do have multiple episodes of the same plot, but they are rare.
The other side of that is what's often seen in more long running series like more developed cartoons or manga (ex. Star Wars: The Clone Wars or Avatar: The Last Air Bender), and many primetime dramas (ex. NCIS or Castle), which have arching plots (Arcs) that build up and end during a season (not always the case, some seasons open or end with a story arc). Now story arcs have their own narrative plotlines, only a story arc narrative plotline is made of several smaller narrative plotlines from the episodes/issues that make up each arc, a show or series is made up of multiple arcs strung together with filler episode/issues in between each to help the audience normalize before moving on to the next arch. As such a episodic story tends to work in a cycle like figures 2 & 3 below, each wave section above the line of zero represents a story arc, while each section below the line of zero (or just the line of zero if you prefer) represents the filler sections that bring the audience back to a normative state in preparation for the next story arc, (there is some psychological aspects for why this is, but they can get really involved and I'm just going to talk about the narrative for now if people want more on it they can ask later). Thus, if you look at figures 2 and 3 each wave cycle is the equivalent of one, story arc plotline and filler cycle, with the dotted line being one season or one volume (in comics volumes = 1 year, issues = 1 month), the slower stories usually have one arc during a season/volume, while faster pace stories have multiple. The main thing to notice, however, is that each cycle flows into the next, thus allowing for the story to continue in a coherent manner from story arc to story arc in a continuous cycle (normalized -> arc -> reset -> normalize), this allows for the audience to enjoy one continuous story rather than something cut into individual pieces and presented separately.
Figure 2 (a more steady paced story)
Figure 3 (a more fast paced story)
However there is aspects in episodic or cyclical writing you need to watch out. These aspects can damage the narrative by taking to much or too little time telling the story, or telling the story in a manner that feels jagged and filled with holes from one arc to the next. This particular issues come in the form of Stretched Cycles, Crammed Cycles, and Jump Cuts.
Stretched Cycles are story arcs that tend to drag on for too long with not a lot of change from episode to episode usually because the time or chapter is filled with too much detail and information like exposition or multiple things going on at one time. Stretched cycles tend to be rather boring because they take too long to resolve and the audience loses interest, which is especially true if the rising action is slow and the content is uninteresting, but sometimes if the content is interesting enough the audience will hang on until the end just to see what happens.
Crammed Cycles is where there is too much being forced into a season or volume (or chapter update), where there is so little time for the audience to adjust from one cycle to the next that they get lost or confused, because events in the story are occurring too quickly for people to take in the material in a comfortable manner (comprehend, accept, adjust, move on). Sometimes this also means that instead of giving each piece the time to tell their part of the story, it just gets summed up in some manner that leaves the audience and the author unsatisfied because there is detail lost and the stitched up summery lacks the heart a full story arc might of had.
Finally Jump Cuts is where you jump from one section of a story to the next without any consideration for the story that lies in between each arc (Think watching the Star Wars Original Trilogy, but skipping Episode V completely, and just watching Episodes IV & VI). Sometimes this is useful like in an abridged series, but in a story that requires a lot of context for what happens from arc to arc this can leave the audience wondering what the heck is going on. A good example of all three issues happened to me when watching the Star Wars Sequels or Episodes VII, VIII, and IX. They either felt too fast (Fin and Poe become friends way too fast for my taste), drawn out (the great space chase + reverse Hoth), or lack background context for things being alluded to, but never seen (like Luke's confrontation with Ben at the Academy which is told in a series of flashbacks from different POVs, but no prior evidence to back up Luke's actions that night, which make no sense in regards to his character from Episode VI). Sometimes story lines have fluctuations that leave certain parts that move slowly while other parts move more quickly, which if not properly balanced can feel irritating and off putting to an audience depending on the situation (this can also be a good thing, kind of like if you used happy peppy background music in a darker film to give the audience a sense of unease like a David Lynch film).
All of these are something to keep in mind when writing a longer cyclical story, you want to be able to balance story cycles to fit how each arc cycle fits within the overall story, while also keeping in mind how that arc is designed to work. If a story arc needs more build up for the climax, make a longer cycle with enough active support to make it not a stretcher cycle where little happens to keep the audience's focus. If you need the story to move forward quickly, give enough detail and context for the story to make sense, but don't progress too fast that you're jumping from one piece of action to the next otherwise the audience and the creator can get burned out. Pick a pace you want the story to progress at, and adjust as need be (like a movie begins slow before ramping up quickly as the climax approaches and then slows down when moving to the films resolution), but don't fluctuate rapidly within a story arc (don't go from fast pace, to slow pace, and back in rapid succession) unless the story calls for it. If and arc is fast you may want more fillers, if the arc is slow you may want less fillers. The overall story should flow from one story arc to the next if done right while keeping the audience satisfied or compelled.
Also use cliffhangers sparingly if you don't intend to follow up on a story quickly, it can leave the audience hanging for too long if there is a lot of time in between the cliff hanger and the resolution, which can leave the audience frustrated and unsatisfied with a lack of proper resolution (looking at you George R. R. Martin).
This is primarily based on my own understanding and what I was taught in the past, so some of this my be incorrect or missing information.
Figure 1 (Narrative Plotline)
For something like television shows, comic books, manga, etc. (Fanfiction also tends to fall into this) they are more episodic in nature, meaning that while each individual episode or book has their own individual narrative, they are also often part of overarching narratives that can go on for several installments (think several small narrative plot lines attached to form one big plotline). Depending on how the story operates, some episodes or books may be completely stand-alone without any actual overarching plot like most tv sitcoms, which don't normally have storylines that continue from episode to episode, (Ex. Friends, the Simpsons, or Spongebob), sometimes they do have multiple episodes of the same plot, but they are rare.
The other side of that is what's often seen in more long running series like more developed cartoons or manga (ex. Star Wars: The Clone Wars or Avatar: The Last Air Bender), and many primetime dramas (ex. NCIS or Castle), which have arching plots (Arcs) that build up and end during a season (not always the case, some seasons open or end with a story arc). Now story arcs have their own narrative plotlines, only a story arc narrative plotline is made of several smaller narrative plotlines from the episodes/issues that make up each arc, a show or series is made up of multiple arcs strung together with filler episode/issues in between each to help the audience normalize before moving on to the next arch. As such a episodic story tends to work in a cycle like figures 2 & 3 below, each wave section above the line of zero represents a story arc, while each section below the line of zero (or just the line of zero if you prefer) represents the filler sections that bring the audience back to a normative state in preparation for the next story arc, (there is some psychological aspects for why this is, but they can get really involved and I'm just going to talk about the narrative for now if people want more on it they can ask later). Thus, if you look at figures 2 and 3 each wave cycle is the equivalent of one, story arc plotline and filler cycle, with the dotted line being one season or one volume (in comics volumes = 1 year, issues = 1 month), the slower stories usually have one arc during a season/volume, while faster pace stories have multiple. The main thing to notice, however, is that each cycle flows into the next, thus allowing for the story to continue in a coherent manner from story arc to story arc in a continuous cycle (normalized -> arc -> reset -> normalize), this allows for the audience to enjoy one continuous story rather than something cut into individual pieces and presented separately.
Figure 2 (a more steady paced story)
Figure 3 (a more fast paced story)
However there is aspects in episodic or cyclical writing you need to watch out. These aspects can damage the narrative by taking to much or too little time telling the story, or telling the story in a manner that feels jagged and filled with holes from one arc to the next. This particular issues come in the form of Stretched Cycles, Crammed Cycles, and Jump Cuts.
Stretched Cycles are story arcs that tend to drag on for too long with not a lot of change from episode to episode usually because the time or chapter is filled with too much detail and information like exposition or multiple things going on at one time. Stretched cycles tend to be rather boring because they take too long to resolve and the audience loses interest, which is especially true if the rising action is slow and the content is uninteresting, but sometimes if the content is interesting enough the audience will hang on until the end just to see what happens.
Crammed Cycles is where there is too much being forced into a season or volume (or chapter update), where there is so little time for the audience to adjust from one cycle to the next that they get lost or confused, because events in the story are occurring too quickly for people to take in the material in a comfortable manner (comprehend, accept, adjust, move on). Sometimes this also means that instead of giving each piece the time to tell their part of the story, it just gets summed up in some manner that leaves the audience and the author unsatisfied because there is detail lost and the stitched up summery lacks the heart a full story arc might of had.
Finally Jump Cuts is where you jump from one section of a story to the next without any consideration for the story that lies in between each arc (Think watching the Star Wars Original Trilogy, but skipping Episode V completely, and just watching Episodes IV & VI). Sometimes this is useful like in an abridged series, but in a story that requires a lot of context for what happens from arc to arc this can leave the audience wondering what the heck is going on. A good example of all three issues happened to me when watching the Star Wars Sequels or Episodes VII, VIII, and IX. They either felt too fast (Fin and Poe become friends way too fast for my taste), drawn out (the great space chase + reverse Hoth), or lack background context for things being alluded to, but never seen (like Luke's confrontation with Ben at the Academy which is told in a series of flashbacks from different POVs, but no prior evidence to back up Luke's actions that night, which make no sense in regards to his character from Episode VI). Sometimes story lines have fluctuations that leave certain parts that move slowly while other parts move more quickly, which if not properly balanced can feel irritating and off putting to an audience depending on the situation (this can also be a good thing, kind of like if you used happy peppy background music in a darker film to give the audience a sense of unease like a David Lynch film).
All of these are something to keep in mind when writing a longer cyclical story, you want to be able to balance story cycles to fit how each arc cycle fits within the overall story, while also keeping in mind how that arc is designed to work. If a story arc needs more build up for the climax, make a longer cycle with enough active support to make it not a stretcher cycle where little happens to keep the audience's focus. If you need the story to move forward quickly, give enough detail and context for the story to make sense, but don't progress too fast that you're jumping from one piece of action to the next otherwise the audience and the creator can get burned out. Pick a pace you want the story to progress at, and adjust as need be (like a movie begins slow before ramping up quickly as the climax approaches and then slows down when moving to the films resolution), but don't fluctuate rapidly within a story arc (don't go from fast pace, to slow pace, and back in rapid succession) unless the story calls for it. If and arc is fast you may want more fillers, if the arc is slow you may want less fillers. The overall story should flow from one story arc to the next if done right while keeping the audience satisfied or compelled.
Also use cliffhangers sparingly if you don't intend to follow up on a story quickly, it can leave the audience hanging for too long if there is a lot of time in between the cliff hanger and the resolution, which can leave the audience frustrated and unsatisfied with a lack of proper resolution (looking at you George R. R. Martin).
This is primarily based on my own understanding and what I was taught in the past, so some of this my be incorrect or missing information.
Taking the information, I laid out in the spoiler, most of what you could do for this story is just flush out the goings on and interactions that are occurring off screen by bring them to the front. You allude to their occurrence in summary, but don't provide enough to leave feeling satisfied. If you want you can try modifying certain chapters that you feel should or could have led into something else, like for the chapters where Mordred had just set up her settlement in the Boarder Princes before going and liberating Dwai Karaks, you could modify these chapters to indicate that Mordred is planning to address her standing with the Dawi, preparing for and leaving on that journey, add some chapters that show her going and meeting a Dawi group, cutting a deal for her grudge, and then have her go liberate one karak as proof of sincerity, before moving on to dealing with more karaks which can be done off screen unless the Karak in question is an important one. This way you get the needed context to feel satisfied without dragging things out by showing each and every karak purge. This can be done with most of the chapters you have and can even make space between arcs to add new arcs, like arcs that actually shows Mordred interacting with her children, (because it felt like they went from born to adult in a few chapters with actually seeing them develop and the harem thing just feels tacked on with no real substance, satisfying build up, and conclusion).
Overall a lot of the more recent chapter have events occurring that playout mostly off screen, you addressed it, but didn't bring it to the table (like having a massive feast, but only giving the guests small samplers and no actual meals). Just add in pieces you feel are appropriate while modifying neighboring chapters to support them, doing so should result in something like this: the chapter before events address the coming approach of events, add the new event chapters that details and give context to the events, and modify the following chapter by removing the description of the event and replace it with referencing of the event as something that happened in a manner that feels like both the audience and the character has experienced it (In other words less: "she would never go back there again, in the hopes of not having to endure the stench that had wafted from the fetid pits that littered the area", and more: "Good gods! I hope I never go back ther-errk... Gahh! Just the thought alone makes me want to hurl. If my constitution was any lower, my armor would be sporting a new paint job, and gods know how long it would take to clean it! I don't know what was in those pits, but gods above did it reek like the pits of hell."). Once you have new fill chapters in place just change up the thread and chapter designations to match the new additions.
Arc 1 was well put together and linear in progression, though you may have wanted to end things after discussing the banishment in the end of arc 1 with a meeting with the emperor candidate before moving to arc 2 (you may have done this but I don't remember). Arc 2 was trying to cover the events on a slightly bigger scale that's trying to keep pace with the events going on in Mordred's Principality, but didn't have much going on beyond day to day efforts, which was ok since setting up settlements, nations, governments, and religions can be complicated, so a summary of what they're about is fine. However, as you got further along, I think you were trying to address long gaps in between chapter updates by compensating, and having more seem to happen between posts with summery of the events without really providing much to experience (just my opinion based on observation). Without the summaries, and not including the interludes, the chapters after a certain point (which I think may have been the Dark Elf Invasion) seem to be just be snap shots or drabbles of a moment in time, where things happen; however, without the characters and running themes (like the harem gag), there's little tying one chapter to the previous chapters. That's not a bad thing for a training montage, or time skips over a long period of time, but there also needs to be some form of grounding at a particular point before you can jump to the next point (Ex. have an arc where Mordred experiences the trials of being a new mother, time skip to an arc that has her sons growing up and being mischievous little stinkers, then jump to an arc that has Mordred on tour with her sons showing them the lands they are to inherit and an attack by something, then have the academy arc with the beginnings of the harem drama nonsense with the brother and Mordred making fun of it, then a final jump to where the haram is solidifying and being worked out but Mordred makes clear the consequences if they screw up). These grounding points help give the readers something to build upon during the time skip, this can be done chapter by chapter, a whole arc dedicated to the time skip, or just a chapter or two cycling through various instances in time if you give enough detail and content, but I would suggest a few chapters just to give the readers time to enjoy the moment.
Overall the story is good, great even. It's a well thought out story with a great premise and well laid out main story line and idea you set out with. At the beginning it was well paced and interesting, and really kept people eager for the next chapter; however, after a while your pace began to pick up, and you go from "just showed up in Warhammer Fantasy, fought my first war, got banished and founded my own kingdom" to "oh it's been 20+ years since I got here, and I got two kids, and a massive kingdom. Oh, and did I forget I'm now a god, with mega magic powers, and have butchered whole armies in a couple of weeks that couldn't be done in centuries? Yeah been there, did that, got the shirt" in what felt like a handful of chapters. There was also a lot of potential cut by having the Dark Elves suicide on Mordred so early, and the Empire just subverting and willingly join the Drakenreich as quick as it did. Those plotlines could have been drawn out, but other than the Empire's coups they just didn't have much substance to them. There are some other aspects that felt like they could have had better pay off like having Beastmen, Scaven, daemon, undead incursion, to liven things up.
I would agree with the notion, however, that the entire Worm aspect you had at the beginning could easily be cut all together. It doesn't add anything to the story, beyond the reason to use the CYOA to get the power to become Mordred, which could have just as easily been done as some ploy by the Chaos Gods or a ROB to screw with the MC. However, I think to a point, that Mordred just became too powerful too quickly for the narrative and the story setting. After a while there just wasn't enough of a challenge for her to really overcome, in the short term, there is the War of Apocalypse(?) but that's like a 1,000ish years away and Mordred hasn't been there a century and has already knocked out two factions, one being the Dark Elves, and the other being the Sigmar's Empire, and actually the prevented the formation of the Vampire Counts (since Sylvania is under her rule). Additionally, the Dawi have multiple Karaks back in their control that were lost for centuries, the Orks have been pushed out, Chaos and the Beastmen have been neutered with Mordred's Aegis. Who else besides the good guys is there left to fight that would bother showing up Nagash, the Ogres, the Scaven, the Dawi-Zharr, the Slann? I honestly feel like Mordred could solo the world, win and rule it in 10 years. It would honestly be interesting to see what type of effect she would have in the WH40k verse at this juncture.
I think that, for whatever you do for your next project, come up with some form of scale to just how powerful the characters should be, OP characters are good for short stories, crack fics, power trip fics, or "I'm so powerful, but I so lazy" fics. I think looking at some D&D might help with that. Also I know that reading the original material can be crappy (Worm is not fun to read for someone like me, because I don't care for downward spirals to endings with less than pyrrhic victories but more than a total loss), but it will do you well to find some sources that are abridged or someone who is familiar with the content to bounce ideas off of, if you continue with fan fiction, just having a passing idea of the material will go a long way. You also may want to try your hand at doing your own world building on an original story idea you come up with.
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Hey everyone, sorry for going dark for a bit and the lack of a chapter. I know I was supposed to put out an update but @BlackBaron gave me some awesome critique that really made me want to reexamine how I want to do Arc 5 and put together more of a plan than "I want X to happen over X time period before the Grand Finale and just wing everything else like the last two arcs."
Unfortunately I'm not like those crazy authors who write and plan at the speed of light, so I have come to the decision that since I'm already 3 days late and that I did just finished Arc 4, that I'm going to skip posting this week and instead do some thinking about how to do what I want and how to do it well. It's my hope and goal to get this done and a chapter written in time for my next scheduled posting on May 8th.
Huh, I never considered this but I could definitely reduce my 3-4ish years estimate by 6 to 12 months if I did that.
Yeah, I messed up there, about Arc 3 I started having some serious burnout and got really lazy with my writing. By Arc 4 I wasn't feeling the burnout as much but I was in "let's get this over with" mode and tried to speed things along so I could finish this story and I had this whole plan to time skip about 200 years forward into the future which obivously never happened because my muse got sidetracked writing about Johen and Greggory but I was tunnel visioned on the whole idea of a 200 year time skip so I just sprinted through everything to the detriment of the story.
There is no doubt in my mind that I made Mordred way too powerful. Just her base servant power level is too much for normal WHF, the CYOA boost stacked with her becoming a goddess was just overkill. I really should have left off Mordred becoming a goddess until near the very end for that classic shonen power up and played up the general power level of warhammer fantasy enough that she could have some decent fights against the high tier enemies.
And as you and others have said, there is just a bunch of wasted potential in general regarding Mordred's enemies.
That's a good idea, I will definitely come up with some sort of scale to use in the future. Though I find it kind of funny that you mention D&D because most fics I've read generally have D&D characters as some really overpowered ones. Granted, a lot of the time, they are lvl 20 and munchkined to hell.
I want to disagree but also don't. The example that comes to mind is that I have a passing idea of Konosuba but I have very little idea of what happens past the equivalent of the first few episodes which is just not enough in my mind to write it despite being a very fun setting to play with.
This is something I am really considering as my best option right now, it really isn't much different from doing fanfic beside needing to come up with a world setting and characters myself instead of using someone else's.
Also, has anyone else noticed that Isekai stories are basically SI fanfics but using their own generic settings and OCs?
Unfortunately I'm not like those crazy authors who write and plan at the speed of light, so I have come to the decision that since I'm already 3 days late and that I did just finished Arc 4, that I'm going to skip posting this week and instead do some thinking about how to do what I want and how to do it well. It's my hope and goal to get this done and a chapter written in time for my next scheduled posting on May 8th.
Huh, I never considered this but I could definitely reduce my 3-4ish years estimate by 6 to 12 months if I did that.
Yeah, I messed up there, about Arc 3 I started having some serious burnout and got really lazy with my writing. By Arc 4 I wasn't feeling the burnout as much but I was in "let's get this over with" mode and tried to speed things along so I could finish this story and I had this whole plan to time skip about 200 years forward into the future which obivously never happened because my muse got sidetracked writing about Johen and Greggory but I was tunnel visioned on the whole idea of a 200 year time skip so I just sprinted through everything to the detriment of the story.
There is no doubt in my mind that I made Mordred way too powerful. Just her base servant power level is too much for normal WHF, the CYOA boost stacked with her becoming a goddess was just overkill. I really should have left off Mordred becoming a goddess until near the very end for that classic shonen power up and played up the general power level of warhammer fantasy enough that she could have some decent fights against the high tier enemies.
And as you and others have said, there is just a bunch of wasted potential in general regarding Mordred's enemies.
That's a good idea, I will definitely come up with some sort of scale to use in the future. Though I find it kind of funny that you mention D&D because most fics I've read generally have D&D characters as some really overpowered ones. Granted, a lot of the time, they are lvl 20 and munchkined to hell.
I want to disagree but also don't. The example that comes to mind is that I have a passing idea of Konosuba but I have very little idea of what happens past the equivalent of the first few episodes which is just not enough in my mind to write it despite being a very fun setting to play with.
This is something I am really considering as my best option right now, it really isn't much different from doing fanfic beside needing to come up with a world setting and characters myself instead of using someone else's.
Also, has anyone else noticed that Isekai stories are basically SI fanfics but using their own generic settings and OCs?
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BlackBaron
Inspector General
- Location
- Michigan, USA
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
I should have expounded on that, I meant the D&D monsters. Their monsters as well as most RPGs and MMORPGs tend to have scaling enemies and equipment as the characters progress. D&D was the first thing that came to mind, but World of Warcraft, Diablo, Final Fantasy XIV, Legends of Zelda, and other similar games have enemies that get harder as they progress.
What happened here is that Mordred started out already as a top tier player, which is clearly seen in the prologue, that's partly due to her own training, skills, abilities, and bloodline, but a lot of that come from her being dropped first into Worm,which is a world without magic, (thus everyone was generally weaker in comparison), and then into the world of Warhammer Fantasy which despite having magic, its magic system is completely different from Mordred's native magic system, and its not going to just give the population a passive boost, because that's not how that Warhammer's magic works.
Nasu verse (before magic began to fade as much as it did by the First Grail War), has from my understanding a form of passive magical buff that strengthens the physical abilities of those who live in that world even if they aren't magically attuned,or utilize and practice magic regularly in some way. Thus even if Mordred was never trained in magic, nor had her dragon heritage, just her training as a knight, with the passive strength boost from her world, would have likely put her head and shoulders above most beings in that world besides Champions like Emperor Magnus the Pious, Vlad von Carstein, Settra the Imperishable, and Upper tier Chaos Daemons. With magic and her training she would have equaled a Champion status easily. Add her dragon heritage, servant abilities, and her enchanted equipment, she would easily be stepping into lower god tier at least. Mordred had access to everything at the start, instead of having to build up to that point. Its kind of the same premise at the start of some video games, where you have the most powerful armor, the best weapon, and all your abilities at the start, only for them all to be stripped away from you and you have hunt for them. You didn't do any thing to limit her power in the beginning, thus Mordred became too powerful.
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I will have to say as someone who doesnt really know warhammer that well (all my knowledge comes from fanfic or yogscast tom and ben) I personally really liked that the dark elves werent that much of a threat since from what i understnad they shouldnt be, unless they had had gotten a reason to be cautious and prepare some 'bulshit chaos ritual' that empowers them enough to be one. Sure enemies that decide to attack after that i would be more willing to believe that they could give a decent fight since they would be more cautious and having used there power up rituals before they get close to morderds land. Otherwise i think with how powerful they were when ariving and how they didnt stagnant on power most enemies should be more indirect (like raiding dark elves, have them raid multiple places at once and retreat fairly quickly after summoning deamons or something to cause trouble. Easy for mordred to deal with but not her people.) however most threats that rely on mordred not being there doesnt work at this stage of the story.
Basically i like a big faction/threat getting wiped out since they dont take mordred seriously. And i personally believe the arrogant/prideful dark elves work perfectly as an example for the rest of the worlds threats.
Personally i just like to think in the current iteratoon of the story that the other potential threats are building up to be able to fight against whag mordred has shown to be capable of. ( which i could totally see a chaos using faction being like 'this ritual was prepared for xx years xx months and xx days with xxx sacrafices every x hours x = sacred number of insert chaos god. To power up to fight/tae out/seal mordred)
BlackBaron
Inspector General
- Location
- Michigan, USA
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
In most cases, yes you would be correct, the Dark Elves are primarily a pirate/raider faction who mostly hit coastal and nearby settlements for loot and slaves. They are not a faction that is prone to engaging in big battles with other factions. Sure they are more than capable of going up against opposing armies, but unless they have a reason to amass troops for something they want, most of what you would encounter is small raiding fleets. In that regard the overall threat of the Dark Elves is rather minimal in most cases compared to the likes of Skaven, Chaos, Beastmen, Orcs, and the Vampire Counts.
However, that is what makes them a rather insidious faction, because they aren't interested in merely killing you, they want you to bleed, to suffer as much pain and trauma from their raids as possible. These raids lead to resources being taken away from other areas that need them to rebuild raided settlements, shifting of troops from somewhere else to repel or ward off raids weakening the areas they are transferred from. Raids cause unrest in the population for fear of future attacks, while also leaving behind the broken families of those killed or captured during their raids. All of this in turn creates a ripe breeding ground for Chaos Cults, and creates opportunities for other factions to attack weakened defenses. (Think about it like this - Analogy: A family has four kids, one older child, one middle child, and two younger children. The older sibling has a plate of cookies, and sits down to watch tv. The two younger siblings want those cookies, so one of the younger siblings pokes and harasses the elder sibling into chasing them, the second younger sibling then sneaks in and steals the plate of cookies and runs off with it. Next the middle child shows up, sees the open tv, grabs the remote, and starts watching tv. The oldest sibling returns to find their plate of cookies gone, and the tv now occupied by the middle sibling, thus they don't get their cookies, nor do they get to watch what they wanted to watch. The Dark Elves are the two young children, the older sibling is their victim, and the middle child is every faction that might exploit any weakness in a faction that the Dark Elves have raided if given the opportunity)
Dark Elves are all about creating maximum pain and suffering to their victims because they enjoy it. Sure they may not seem the strongest faction around, but they are not designed to be a heavy hitting faction, they are sorcerers, warlocks, witches, torturers, assassins, slavers, and pirates.
Norscans are similar, except they are more likely to get into pitched battles, some of this is simply due to their culture, but most of it is because of the influence of the Chaos Gods they worship. They are also closer to places like the Empire, Bretonnia, and Kislev so they are also likely to have larger invasions to take land or cause havoc and spread Chaos. In that regard they are much better suited to hitting harder and last longer if they get into a fight, but are also just as willing to jump back in their longboats with loot and captives if the situation isn't in their favor.
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Chapter One - Arc Five
Arc Five, Salvation.
Chapter One, Mormor Visits and Foreshadowing Happens
I hugged Greggory firmly, his own arms wrapped around me as we said our final goodbyes.
"I'm going to miss you, I know we can talk whenever we like but it's not the same as talking face to face. It sucks that Johen isn't here to see you off with me but I suppose that the newly crowned emperor can't just run off at the first opportunity now can he?" Greggory said, an odd mixture of sadness and schadenfreude filling his voice.
"I'm going to miss you both, perhaps not the bickering you two get up to when you think I'm not looking but I will miss the both of you. Try not to rub the fact he couldn't be here in your brother's face too much please? Oh, and make sure that Artoria doesn't fall in with some sketchy people, much like you and your brother, she and Alfonso have inherited the Pendragon Luck and hers seems to have manifested in the manner of befriending shady people." I waved my finger in his face as I lectured him on the dangers of letting his teenage daughter with terrible luck hang around criminals and thugs.
"Don't worry about it Mom, Artoria is a big girl now, she is very competent and perfectly capable of taking care of herself much like my brother and I did. Man, it's getting late in the day, you should head out soon if you want to make good progress." He said as he very blatantly tried to get me to leave and stop lecturing him already.
"Alright, alright, I get it, but if something happens just remember that I told you so. Goodbye, I love you!"
I waved goodbye as I shook my head before power walking my way down the road, the "summer house" as it was nicknamed quickly disappearing as I weaved my way through the crowds, my disguise spell keeping me from being recognized and swarmed by the lunch hour crowds. Even with me leaving the throne, my popularity was sky high. An entire generation was born and raised under my rule and quite a bit has changed and mostly for the better.
With a glance I could see a mage walking down the street chatting with what looked like a soldier, the mage touched his elemental bottle before casting a small illusion to show to his friend and not a single person gave them a second glance. The time, money, and energy I put into normalizing mages and magic was well worth it.
Another glance but to the other side, heh, showed that the cult of Morr was still going strong despite the lack of skirmishes and wars going on. Probably has to do with the fact that it was here that I made it practically mandatory for every decent sized town to have a "Garden of Morr" or in other words, a graveyard. It was a rather unpopular decision considering the fact it was a rather morbid topic but the distinct drop in undead rising back up to feast on the living was a major selling point.
I turned the corner and grimaced as the heat of the sun hit me fully for the first time today as I strode out of the comfortable shade and walked into the plaza in front of the southern gate. A constant flow of traffic flowed through here as the main stream of traffic going south and north had to go through Drachenruhe's capital unless you were willing to cross over the mountains or had access to the dwarf pathways which were normally incredibly hard to gain access to even temporarily.
Of which, I was going over the mountains because that was where I would find what I was searching for. Passing through the archway was a simple affair, all I had to do was present my badge of office and leav-
"Halt! Unknown mage, dispel your illusions and prepare for inspection! If you don't have an extremely good reason for walking around under an illusion, then you will find yourself under arres- W-w-what?" The poor blushing mage stuttered as I did as he asked and dispelled my illusion. Oops? I forgot that mages were stationed at province capital gates to catch exactly this kind of thing, it very rarely comes up, maybe once a year and usually as a dare for those capable of stealthy illusions.
Though, the reason why he was stuttering was likely less that I was the former empress, though that probably didn't help, and more that I was wearing a tube top and short shorts which meant by most people in this side of the world, I was practically naked. Not that I cared about that, as long as it covered as much as a bikini then I was fine in terms of skin coverage.
I pulled out my badge of office, something that didn't carry much legal weight anymore since I abdicated the throne but almost everyone of a certain rank knew it and knew that there was only one as just getting a piece of gromril was incredibly difficult, let alone forging it into the intricate shape and detail required to match it.
"Ah, sorry about that, I was deep in thought and forgot to declare myself under illusion. Here is my badge of office to confirm my identity, I would appreciate it if we hurried this along though, I tend to get swarmed by crowds if I stay undisguised like this for long." I said with an apologetic smile, causing the poor man and the guards with him to become mortified and hurriedly nodded their heads.
"O-of course your majesty, your identity is easily confirmed by your august appearance and badge of office, you may reapply your illusion and exit the gate." The mage told me, struck and torn between chivalry, the fact I was indeed Mordred Pendragon, and the fact that the widely acknowledged most beautiful woman in the world was practically nude in front of him. I wasn't even joking about that last bit, there was this whole thing about who was the fairest in all the lands that was started by an Estalian prince, short story short, I won by a landslide.
"Thank you, I will be on my way now. Keep up the good work." I said as I reapplied my illusion, going from the well known appearance of Mordred, the former empress to the stereotypical image of an aqshy mage of relative mundanity. Without further adieu, I briskly walked out the gate and made my way towards Blackfire Pass. Once I was out of sight, I redid my illusion and became Toph, the earth element mage and started walking through the outskirts of the forest towards the World Edge Mountains south of Karaz a Karak.
It was a frustrating setback to have to take this roundabout path but the small army of people I could see in the distance trying to track me down on my supposed path up north was all I needed to remind myself that it was of my own doing. Besides the fact I didn't want to deal with so many people, I highly doubted that the dragons I was tracking down were going to be happy about me bringing hundreds of humans to their doorstep.
"I know that Greg! We are done with the easy part, now it is time for the hard part, getting shit done while convincing everyone that we are worthy of our positions. Sorry… I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. There has been rumors floating around that somehow I kicked Mom off the throne and forced her into exile, which is ridiculous for multiple reasons but I'm sure that at least a couple of the more dimmer and ambitious nobles will try to take advantage of it. Between dealing with these rumors and constantly worrying about Alfonso who keeps tripping over the lairs of vampires, skaven, hydras, beastmen and so on, I might end up going gray soon." He said as he massaged his face while he held the "shellphone" as his mom called it with his other hand near his head.
"It's fine, I get it, I've been hearing similar rumors and from what you just mentioned, more of them down here too. A few of them even came from a couple of Artoria's recent acquaintances." his brother mentioned, sounding annoyed as well at the lies that started spreading the moment their mom left.
"Oh? How is Artoria? I haven't heard much since my coronation ceremony, is she still running into and befriending hardened criminals and monsters?" He asked, a small dose of amusement infecting his words.
"Not recently, even if I'm not sure I like the people she has been hanging around with, Mom even gave me a lecture about it before she left. Mom is probably right as she usually is but a part of me says that I'm worrying for nothing because what could possibly harm my little dragon these days?"
"Did you really just say that? You do remember Mom's mini panic attacks whenever someone said something along the lines of 'what could possibly go wrong' right?" He asked his dumb ass of a brother, his voice deadpan.
"Bah! Mom was always overly cautious about things like that. I'm sure it will be fine, we can handle a little trouble." He pulled his shellphone away from his face, staring in disbelief at the conch shell, wondering how his twin lived as long as he did.
He pulled it back to his face moments later because he did in fact need it near his head to hear and speak through it. "I have a hard time believing that we are related sometimes, I must have stolen all of your intelligence in the womb or something. I'm going to be on edge for days now thanks to you repeatedly taunting Murphy again, hopefully this time it won't unleash a record breaking Waaagh! I'm going to end the call now before you somehow incite Him into unleashing daemons upon us. Goodbye." "Wai-" He hung the shellphone back up onto the hook and left the small soundproof room that allowed shellphones to work at all.
He walked down the hall towards his next appointment, this one was also family, well… The man might as well be family considering Uncle Helmann used to babysit him and his brother, probably even changed his diapers at some point, not that he would ask his pseudo uncle, there were questions that shouldn't be asked and that was one of them.
Though, since the two of them were working together, it was Lord General Erhard. The difference made it easier to remember that they were at work and needed to be professional. It was a bit odd to give him orders instead of being ordered around but he was adapting. Ignoring the pair of startled maids who were desperately trying to hide the fact that they had been gossiping and not working, he entered today's meeting room. Inside he found that Lord General Helmann had already arrived with his usual assistants and seemed to have just finished setting up.
"Greetings Your Majesty, I've taken the initiative to lay out all of the documents for today's meeting." The general told him, gesturing slightly towards the table nearly completely covered in papers.
He nodded and walked over to the table and then got right down to business. "As you are aware, it is time to get our plan into action. I refuse to let those damnable Bretonnians continue their backwards ways. Mom might have been too concerned about the message it would send to our allies and neighbors if she rode out to conquer Bretonnia but it is far past time for us to deal with them now." He declared, excitement filling several of the aids, old and young alike. Bretonnians were very unpopular currently and had only avoided a war with Drachenreich because his mom hadn't wanted to deal with them. But now that he was ruling, Bretonnia's days were numbered.
"What can we spare to send against the Bretonnians and what are their arms?" He asked of the Lord General, scanning the map detailing every connection between Drachenreich and Bretonnia.
The general shifted a few papers and handed it over to his emperor while saying, "as of this moment? Just short of 120,000 soldiers Your Majesty. The majority of those soldiers are on foot and are currently armed with muskets and bayonets with the rest mostly carrying spears or axes. About a sixth of the main force are mounted and of those mounted, half are armed with pistols and light cavalry swords, the other half carry lances. In regards to artillery, there are fifty cannons and thirty mortars with trained teams all capable of meeting firing standards. I also estimate that at a minimum about five hundred mages will volunteer for this campaign."
He looked at his most trusted military advisor in concern. "That's not much in the way of soldiers, are we really so heavily tied down in other areas that we can't spare more?"
The man placed a few of what looked like reports in front of him and scanned them before speaking. "It's less that we are embroiled in so much conflict that we can't spare them, more that this is how many that aren't permanently garrisoned somewhere. We can certainly free up to ten times what I'm projecting but it will cause a significant drop in soldiers available to perform the ever important animal control duty. The rats in particular, have become rather feisty and creating any weakness for them to exploit is a very bad idea right now."
His uncle looked up from the reports spread across the table and stared him right in the eye as he said, "give me six months Your Majesty and I can get you four times my current estimate on top of what we have right now. We currently have a lot of fresh recruits coming in that, with some encouragement, could be brought up to standard and if I do it carefully, I can make up the rest by taking small amounts from garrisons across the empire without the animals attempting to take advantage."
He searched the Lord General's eyes for any doubt and didn't find any. "A bold plan Lord General but I trust in your ability to pull it off. You will have your time, just make sure that all of the animals are contained, and a stampede would be a terrible start to my reign."
With the meeting winding down, he decided to check the time and a quick spell later he grimaced. Standing he made towards the door. "My apologies but it is nearly time for me to preside over that nasty Tilean versus Dwarf trial and being late to that would be disastrous. We will have to resume this next week."
His subordinate nodded and gave a light bow. "Of course Your Majesty, I'll begin work immediately, good luck convincing the dwarfs not to march on Ravola." He shook his head as he walked out the door, his uncle was so smug about not needing to deal with this mess. One day his uncle would end up dealing with a similar mess and he would get to be the one to watch with glee as his uncle suffered.
I hadn't expected to enjoy walking around at near human speed so much, hiking had never appealed to me before, I never got the point of just walking around with no goal in mind. I guess that I've changed quite a bit since I last had time to go for a walk, the lack of books and the internet probably also contributed to my new found enjoyment of hiking.
Anyway, my new hobby was half the reason why it had taken me two weeks to reach my destination instead of a couple hours. The other half was me messing around trying to invent earth bending so I could do a proper Toph impression. There might have also been a bit of procrastinating involved but who could blame me? I was… Damn how old was I again? Oh right, seventy one years old! I was allowed to enjoy my retirement damn it!
Huffing to myself, I checked back in with reality and realized that I was much closer to the lair of the two dragons I was looking for. They were an odd couple, it was pretty rare for dragons to share a lair and what with Myvnilth being an Ice Dragon and Grimbiedon a Great Storm Dragon, it should have led to one of the two getting fed up with the other but even after over two thousand years together, they were still going strong.
But the most important thing about them was that they were very much some of the biggest social butterflies of the dragon race. They knew practically every dragon out there over the age of a couple hundred years old and that was more because most dragons needed that long to get over their "I am fire, I am death" phase.
Why did I even know them? Because they were my unofficial contacts with the rest of the dragon race. We've only met a couple times over the last thirty odd years to set boundaries and talk a bit, which was, according to them, enough to make me one of the most social dragons they knew outside of each other. That timeline made a lot more sense when you realized that the vast majority of dragons were hermits and every single dragon had eternal youth.
"Mormor! It's so good to see you again! You look as adorable as always! What brings you here? Myvnilth! Mormor's here! Come inside Mormor, make sure to transform before Myvnilth sees you, you know how she gets about you spending so much time human shaped." I blinked as Grimbiedon turned back around into the depths of the cavern that was the pair's lair. Oops, I got lost in my head again. Shrugging, I transformed into my dragon form as I followed Grimbiedon into his home.
"It's good to see you too Grimbiedon, I was hoping to get some assistance with meeting up with some of the older magically inclined dragons so I could get their advice on a project of mine."
"Come on. Mormor! It's just us here, no need to get all formal. And of course we'll help you, our adorable little goddess! Oh, oh! I bet that we could get quite a few dragons to come if we spread the word that you want to meet up, I don't think that there has been a proper meet up between dragons since a bit after the Old Ones came."
I couldn't help but find it funny that while I was considered old and wise back in Drachenreich, I was treated much like I was an adorable little girl by the dragons I was supposedly goddess of. Though, I supposed that I was the goddess of dragons more by default because I happened to be a dragon in addition to being a goddess than anything else.
"Sorry Grimby, force of habit, I'll try to relax a bit." I dipped my head in apology.
"Don't worry about it, it will only make it that much harder to relax. Oh, here we are!" Grimbied- Grimby said, causing me to duck out of the way of his wagging tail. It always amazed me how much Grimby was like a very scaly oversized puppy.
"Hello Mordred dear, it is good to see you. Grimbiedon, mind your tail, you almost hit the girl. Now what brings you here? Usually you are busy playing with your little kingdom." Myvnilth said, almost grandmotherly in tone as she sprawled out on a pile of gold coins.
"Oops, sorry Mormor, I got a little excited. Speaking of exciting, guess what Myvnilth? Mormor was just telling me that she wanted to gather a few of our magic friends together to get their opinion on a project of hers and it gave me a great idea! Why not send the call out to everyone we know and have a Dragon Conference! There hasn't been one since the third spawning of the slann!"
Grimby explained as he walked over and sat down next to Myvnilth, the two of them towering over me like the ancient dragons they were. I knew that eventually I would get bigger but it would be nice if I was closer to their size, being dwarfed by everyone I knew was getting a little old.
"Oh? Sounds like fun, but are you up for that dear? You haven't really spent much time with dragons besides us and dragons can be very different from the humans you like to play with." I had to hold back my sass because she wasn't wrong even if a bit condescending.
"I'm sure, it's true that I haven't spent much time amongst our kind but I think it would be good for me to change that. Who knows, it might go well enough to become a regular thing." I shrugged with my wings, not coming even close to touching the ceiling.
"In that case, I suppose we have a Dragon Conference to plan. But first, come here Mordred, I need to make sure you've been keeping up with your grooming." She demanded, sitting up and patting a spot in front of her.
I sighed and walked over, there was no getting out of this.
AN: It's here finally, it's even the early evening instead of midnight too! Hopefully it was worth the wait. Have a good Mother's Day everyone!
Chapter One, Mormor Visits and Foreshadowing Happens
I hugged Greggory firmly, his own arms wrapped around me as we said our final goodbyes.
"I'm going to miss you, I know we can talk whenever we like but it's not the same as talking face to face. It sucks that Johen isn't here to see you off with me but I suppose that the newly crowned emperor can't just run off at the first opportunity now can he?" Greggory said, an odd mixture of sadness and schadenfreude filling his voice.
"I'm going to miss you both, perhaps not the bickering you two get up to when you think I'm not looking but I will miss the both of you. Try not to rub the fact he couldn't be here in your brother's face too much please? Oh, and make sure that Artoria doesn't fall in with some sketchy people, much like you and your brother, she and Alfonso have inherited the Pendragon Luck and hers seems to have manifested in the manner of befriending shady people." I waved my finger in his face as I lectured him on the dangers of letting his teenage daughter with terrible luck hang around criminals and thugs.
"Don't worry about it Mom, Artoria is a big girl now, she is very competent and perfectly capable of taking care of herself much like my brother and I did. Man, it's getting late in the day, you should head out soon if you want to make good progress." He said as he very blatantly tried to get me to leave and stop lecturing him already.
"Alright, alright, I get it, but if something happens just remember that I told you so. Goodbye, I love you!"
I waved goodbye as I shook my head before power walking my way down the road, the "summer house" as it was nicknamed quickly disappearing as I weaved my way through the crowds, my disguise spell keeping me from being recognized and swarmed by the lunch hour crowds. Even with me leaving the throne, my popularity was sky high. An entire generation was born and raised under my rule and quite a bit has changed and mostly for the better.
With a glance I could see a mage walking down the street chatting with what looked like a soldier, the mage touched his elemental bottle before casting a small illusion to show to his friend and not a single person gave them a second glance. The time, money, and energy I put into normalizing mages and magic was well worth it.
Another glance but to the other side, heh, showed that the cult of Morr was still going strong despite the lack of skirmishes and wars going on. Probably has to do with the fact that it was here that I made it practically mandatory for every decent sized town to have a "Garden of Morr" or in other words, a graveyard. It was a rather unpopular decision considering the fact it was a rather morbid topic but the distinct drop in undead rising back up to feast on the living was a major selling point.
I turned the corner and grimaced as the heat of the sun hit me fully for the first time today as I strode out of the comfortable shade and walked into the plaza in front of the southern gate. A constant flow of traffic flowed through here as the main stream of traffic going south and north had to go through Drachenruhe's capital unless you were willing to cross over the mountains or had access to the dwarf pathways which were normally incredibly hard to gain access to even temporarily.
Of which, I was going over the mountains because that was where I would find what I was searching for. Passing through the archway was a simple affair, all I had to do was present my badge of office and leav-
"Halt! Unknown mage, dispel your illusions and prepare for inspection! If you don't have an extremely good reason for walking around under an illusion, then you will find yourself under arres- W-w-what?" The poor blushing mage stuttered as I did as he asked and dispelled my illusion. Oops? I forgot that mages were stationed at province capital gates to catch exactly this kind of thing, it very rarely comes up, maybe once a year and usually as a dare for those capable of stealthy illusions.
Though, the reason why he was stuttering was likely less that I was the former empress, though that probably didn't help, and more that I was wearing a tube top and short shorts which meant by most people in this side of the world, I was practically naked. Not that I cared about that, as long as it covered as much as a bikini then I was fine in terms of skin coverage.
I pulled out my badge of office, something that didn't carry much legal weight anymore since I abdicated the throne but almost everyone of a certain rank knew it and knew that there was only one as just getting a piece of gromril was incredibly difficult, let alone forging it into the intricate shape and detail required to match it.
"Ah, sorry about that, I was deep in thought and forgot to declare myself under illusion. Here is my badge of office to confirm my identity, I would appreciate it if we hurried this along though, I tend to get swarmed by crowds if I stay undisguised like this for long." I said with an apologetic smile, causing the poor man and the guards with him to become mortified and hurriedly nodded their heads.
"O-of course your majesty, your identity is easily confirmed by your august appearance and badge of office, you may reapply your illusion and exit the gate." The mage told me, struck and torn between chivalry, the fact I was indeed Mordred Pendragon, and the fact that the widely acknowledged most beautiful woman in the world was practically nude in front of him. I wasn't even joking about that last bit, there was this whole thing about who was the fairest in all the lands that was started by an Estalian prince, short story short, I won by a landslide.
"Thank you, I will be on my way now. Keep up the good work." I said as I reapplied my illusion, going from the well known appearance of Mordred, the former empress to the stereotypical image of an aqshy mage of relative mundanity. Without further adieu, I briskly walked out the gate and made my way towards Blackfire Pass. Once I was out of sight, I redid my illusion and became Toph, the earth element mage and started walking through the outskirts of the forest towards the World Edge Mountains south of Karaz a Karak.
It was a frustrating setback to have to take this roundabout path but the small army of people I could see in the distance trying to track me down on my supposed path up north was all I needed to remind myself that it was of my own doing. Besides the fact I didn't want to deal with so many people, I highly doubted that the dragons I was tracking down were going to be happy about me bringing hundreds of humans to their doorstep.
"I know that Greg! We are done with the easy part, now it is time for the hard part, getting shit done while convincing everyone that we are worthy of our positions. Sorry… I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. There has been rumors floating around that somehow I kicked Mom off the throne and forced her into exile, which is ridiculous for multiple reasons but I'm sure that at least a couple of the more dimmer and ambitious nobles will try to take advantage of it. Between dealing with these rumors and constantly worrying about Alfonso who keeps tripping over the lairs of vampires, skaven, hydras, beastmen and so on, I might end up going gray soon." He said as he massaged his face while he held the "shellphone" as his mom called it with his other hand near his head.
"It's fine, I get it, I've been hearing similar rumors and from what you just mentioned, more of them down here too. A few of them even came from a couple of Artoria's recent acquaintances." his brother mentioned, sounding annoyed as well at the lies that started spreading the moment their mom left.
"Oh? How is Artoria? I haven't heard much since my coronation ceremony, is she still running into and befriending hardened criminals and monsters?" He asked, a small dose of amusement infecting his words.
"Not recently, even if I'm not sure I like the people she has been hanging around with, Mom even gave me a lecture about it before she left. Mom is probably right as she usually is but a part of me says that I'm worrying for nothing because what could possibly harm my little dragon these days?"
"Did you really just say that? You do remember Mom's mini panic attacks whenever someone said something along the lines of 'what could possibly go wrong' right?" He asked his dumb ass of a brother, his voice deadpan.
"Bah! Mom was always overly cautious about things like that. I'm sure it will be fine, we can handle a little trouble." He pulled his shellphone away from his face, staring in disbelief at the conch shell, wondering how his twin lived as long as he did.
He pulled it back to his face moments later because he did in fact need it near his head to hear and speak through it. "I have a hard time believing that we are related sometimes, I must have stolen all of your intelligence in the womb or something. I'm going to be on edge for days now thanks to you repeatedly taunting Murphy again, hopefully this time it won't unleash a record breaking Waaagh! I'm going to end the call now before you somehow incite Him into unleashing daemons upon us. Goodbye." "Wai-" He hung the shellphone back up onto the hook and left the small soundproof room that allowed shellphones to work at all.
He walked down the hall towards his next appointment, this one was also family, well… The man might as well be family considering Uncle Helmann used to babysit him and his brother, probably even changed his diapers at some point, not that he would ask his pseudo uncle, there were questions that shouldn't be asked and that was one of them.
Though, since the two of them were working together, it was Lord General Erhard. The difference made it easier to remember that they were at work and needed to be professional. It was a bit odd to give him orders instead of being ordered around but he was adapting. Ignoring the pair of startled maids who were desperately trying to hide the fact that they had been gossiping and not working, he entered today's meeting room. Inside he found that Lord General Helmann had already arrived with his usual assistants and seemed to have just finished setting up.
"Greetings Your Majesty, I've taken the initiative to lay out all of the documents for today's meeting." The general told him, gesturing slightly towards the table nearly completely covered in papers.
He nodded and walked over to the table and then got right down to business. "As you are aware, it is time to get our plan into action. I refuse to let those damnable Bretonnians continue their backwards ways. Mom might have been too concerned about the message it would send to our allies and neighbors if she rode out to conquer Bretonnia but it is far past time for us to deal with them now." He declared, excitement filling several of the aids, old and young alike. Bretonnians were very unpopular currently and had only avoided a war with Drachenreich because his mom hadn't wanted to deal with them. But now that he was ruling, Bretonnia's days were numbered.
"What can we spare to send against the Bretonnians and what are their arms?" He asked of the Lord General, scanning the map detailing every connection between Drachenreich and Bretonnia.
The general shifted a few papers and handed it over to his emperor while saying, "as of this moment? Just short of 120,000 soldiers Your Majesty. The majority of those soldiers are on foot and are currently armed with muskets and bayonets with the rest mostly carrying spears or axes. About a sixth of the main force are mounted and of those mounted, half are armed with pistols and light cavalry swords, the other half carry lances. In regards to artillery, there are fifty cannons and thirty mortars with trained teams all capable of meeting firing standards. I also estimate that at a minimum about five hundred mages will volunteer for this campaign."
He looked at his most trusted military advisor in concern. "That's not much in the way of soldiers, are we really so heavily tied down in other areas that we can't spare more?"
The man placed a few of what looked like reports in front of him and scanned them before speaking. "It's less that we are embroiled in so much conflict that we can't spare them, more that this is how many that aren't permanently garrisoned somewhere. We can certainly free up to ten times what I'm projecting but it will cause a significant drop in soldiers available to perform the ever important animal control duty. The rats in particular, have become rather feisty and creating any weakness for them to exploit is a very bad idea right now."
His uncle looked up from the reports spread across the table and stared him right in the eye as he said, "give me six months Your Majesty and I can get you four times my current estimate on top of what we have right now. We currently have a lot of fresh recruits coming in that, with some encouragement, could be brought up to standard and if I do it carefully, I can make up the rest by taking small amounts from garrisons across the empire without the animals attempting to take advantage."
He searched the Lord General's eyes for any doubt and didn't find any. "A bold plan Lord General but I trust in your ability to pull it off. You will have your time, just make sure that all of the animals are contained, and a stampede would be a terrible start to my reign."
With the meeting winding down, he decided to check the time and a quick spell later he grimaced. Standing he made towards the door. "My apologies but it is nearly time for me to preside over that nasty Tilean versus Dwarf trial and being late to that would be disastrous. We will have to resume this next week."
His subordinate nodded and gave a light bow. "Of course Your Majesty, I'll begin work immediately, good luck convincing the dwarfs not to march on Ravola." He shook his head as he walked out the door, his uncle was so smug about not needing to deal with this mess. One day his uncle would end up dealing with a similar mess and he would get to be the one to watch with glee as his uncle suffered.
I hadn't expected to enjoy walking around at near human speed so much, hiking had never appealed to me before, I never got the point of just walking around with no goal in mind. I guess that I've changed quite a bit since I last had time to go for a walk, the lack of books and the internet probably also contributed to my new found enjoyment of hiking.
Anyway, my new hobby was half the reason why it had taken me two weeks to reach my destination instead of a couple hours. The other half was me messing around trying to invent earth bending so I could do a proper Toph impression. There might have also been a bit of procrastinating involved but who could blame me? I was… Damn how old was I again? Oh right, seventy one years old! I was allowed to enjoy my retirement damn it!
Huffing to myself, I checked back in with reality and realized that I was much closer to the lair of the two dragons I was looking for. They were an odd couple, it was pretty rare for dragons to share a lair and what with Myvnilth being an Ice Dragon and Grimbiedon a Great Storm Dragon, it should have led to one of the two getting fed up with the other but even after over two thousand years together, they were still going strong.
But the most important thing about them was that they were very much some of the biggest social butterflies of the dragon race. They knew practically every dragon out there over the age of a couple hundred years old and that was more because most dragons needed that long to get over their "I am fire, I am death" phase.
Why did I even know them? Because they were my unofficial contacts with the rest of the dragon race. We've only met a couple times over the last thirty odd years to set boundaries and talk a bit, which was, according to them, enough to make me one of the most social dragons they knew outside of each other. That timeline made a lot more sense when you realized that the vast majority of dragons were hermits and every single dragon had eternal youth.
"Mormor! It's so good to see you again! You look as adorable as always! What brings you here? Myvnilth! Mormor's here! Come inside Mormor, make sure to transform before Myvnilth sees you, you know how she gets about you spending so much time human shaped." I blinked as Grimbiedon turned back around into the depths of the cavern that was the pair's lair. Oops, I got lost in my head again. Shrugging, I transformed into my dragon form as I followed Grimbiedon into his home.
"It's good to see you too Grimbiedon, I was hoping to get some assistance with meeting up with some of the older magically inclined dragons so I could get their advice on a project of mine."
"Come on. Mormor! It's just us here, no need to get all formal. And of course we'll help you, our adorable little goddess! Oh, oh! I bet that we could get quite a few dragons to come if we spread the word that you want to meet up, I don't think that there has been a proper meet up between dragons since a bit after the Old Ones came."
I couldn't help but find it funny that while I was considered old and wise back in Drachenreich, I was treated much like I was an adorable little girl by the dragons I was supposedly goddess of. Though, I supposed that I was the goddess of dragons more by default because I happened to be a dragon in addition to being a goddess than anything else.
"Sorry Grimby, force of habit, I'll try to relax a bit." I dipped my head in apology.
"Don't worry about it, it will only make it that much harder to relax. Oh, here we are!" Grimbied- Grimby said, causing me to duck out of the way of his wagging tail. It always amazed me how much Grimby was like a very scaly oversized puppy.
"Hello Mordred dear, it is good to see you. Grimbiedon, mind your tail, you almost hit the girl. Now what brings you here? Usually you are busy playing with your little kingdom." Myvnilth said, almost grandmotherly in tone as she sprawled out on a pile of gold coins.
"Oops, sorry Mormor, I got a little excited. Speaking of exciting, guess what Myvnilth? Mormor was just telling me that she wanted to gather a few of our magic friends together to get their opinion on a project of hers and it gave me a great idea! Why not send the call out to everyone we know and have a Dragon Conference! There hasn't been one since the third spawning of the slann!"
Grimby explained as he walked over and sat down next to Myvnilth, the two of them towering over me like the ancient dragons they were. I knew that eventually I would get bigger but it would be nice if I was closer to their size, being dwarfed by everyone I knew was getting a little old.
"Oh? Sounds like fun, but are you up for that dear? You haven't really spent much time with dragons besides us and dragons can be very different from the humans you like to play with." I had to hold back my sass because she wasn't wrong even if a bit condescending.
"I'm sure, it's true that I haven't spent much time amongst our kind but I think it would be good for me to change that. Who knows, it might go well enough to become a regular thing." I shrugged with my wings, not coming even close to touching the ceiling.
"In that case, I suppose we have a Dragon Conference to plan. But first, come here Mordred, I need to make sure you've been keeping up with your grooming." She demanded, sitting up and patting a spot in front of her.
I sighed and walked over, there was no getting out of this.
AN: It's here finally, it's even the early evening instead of midnight too! Hopefully it was worth the wait. Have a good Mother's Day everyone!
Well, I can't really blame him. He is probably well aware of the bullshit that was the Empire Implosion that Mordred accidentally set off and then had to consolidate and fix for a few decades after that. Dealing Bretonnia just after she fixed all her internal issues and finally stabilized her empire? Screw that! She hasn't even visited her Dragons yet, and she's their damn goddess!
But yeah, if Mordred told any stories of why she wants nothing to do with Bretonnia due to it being some sorta twisted parody of Camelot? Then there's their wholesale execution of her faithful too, which is legitimately crossing all the lines for Human nations in general, ain't it? Weakening of any of their gods is very bad because of Chaos, so one who is diametrically opposed and the antithesis of Chaos? To the point that Chaos can't really do anything to her territory? That's... That's bad. Like, worse than the former Empire in some ways, bad. Mind you, Mordred really isn't affected by this because she still has her physical body and is using her divinity as more along the lines of an automated Divine Network Administrator rather than being in her Ascendant form.
All that stuff combined? Well, they don't have any pressing internal matters to deal with, and their entire population are kinda disgusted with Bretonnia right now, which is sorta impressive, in a bad way. Now? Now they can take care of them without any distractions. They've been doing their purges for how long? A decade now? Mordred is gonna be in for a surprise, huh?
There's one thing for certain that everyone will know after Bretonnia though! They were, quite literally, asking for this to happen to them.
But yeah, if Mordred told any stories of why she wants nothing to do with Bretonnia due to it being some sorta twisted parody of Camelot? Then there's their wholesale execution of her faithful too, which is legitimately crossing all the lines for Human nations in general, ain't it? Weakening of any of their gods is very bad because of Chaos, so one who is diametrically opposed and the antithesis of Chaos? To the point that Chaos can't really do anything to her territory? That's... That's bad. Like, worse than the former Empire in some ways, bad. Mind you, Mordred really isn't affected by this because she still has her physical body and is using her divinity as more along the lines of an automated Divine Network Administrator rather than being in her Ascendant form.
All that stuff combined? Well, they don't have any pressing internal matters to deal with, and their entire population are kinda disgusted with Bretonnia right now, which is sorta impressive, in a bad way. Now? Now they can take care of them without any distractions. They've been doing their purges for how long? A decade now? Mordred is gonna be in for a surprise, huh?
There's one thing for certain that everyone will know after Bretonnia though! They were, quite literally, asking for this to happen to them.