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Metroid: Zero Missions At All

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... Is that enough to make insurance companies consider her a "walking act of god", I wonder?

... And why am I now imagining an insurance agent assigned to tracking her trying to use that as a pick up line?
 
How is Other:M not history i know is horrible just the gameplay?. And i belive that Samus just run into the GF version of the CIA during Fusion because organization like the CIA would be all over the metroids as weapons and others things. Lets face it metroids energy absorbing properties are something a goverment good or bad would want to have.
 
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    • Samus heard a bird cawing, and immediately she shot her head up. She stood up and stumbled, before she inadvertently clothes-lined a man with a stray arm. "Shorry."

    The poor man was unconscious.

    She stumbled towards the bird, feet slamming against the ground far too loudly, as she giggled like a schoolgirl. "You remindsh me of someone."

    The bird cawed in response.

    "Heeeeeeere." Samus brought up a little bit of dried food out of her pocket. The bird stared at it for a second as Samus's hand wavered about wildly. It pecked once, before it made a light coughing sound and started flying off.

    "YOU'RE WELCOME!" Samus shouted, before she started skipping away, only to trip over her own feet. She barreled into a man as he left the bar, immediately knocking him off of his feet. He fell over with a scream, before Samus recovered. "Oh, shish. Are you alrighty?!"

    He grumbled as he stood up, teeth clenched and exposed. "You spilled my fucking beer!"

    "Well you were holding iiiiiit." Samus said. "Snaught miy fault!"

    "Bullshit!" The man said, as he balled his fist. "You fucking spilled my shit!" He ran forwards, fist raised, before he belted Samus across the face with a wild haymaker.

    She just stood there for several seconds, before she spit onto the ground. Suddenly, her happy mood was gone, and she stopped her wild flailing. She stood above the man, showing off her actual height. "...You made a mishtake."

    The man stared at her, then at his now-aching fist. "...oh....oh, fuck."

    Samus cracked her knuckles as she just looked down at him, before she grabbed him by his collar, and then-

    [=]​

    "Oh, shit, and then she fucking threw him at a wall?" An officer laughed as she talked to her friend.

    "Yeah! And the wall cracked open!" The man said. "Like, holy shit, look at this!" He moved his finger across a holographic screen. "She just fucking headbutted him, then she punched him through the wall!"

    True to form, it showed Samus looking like she was doing the world's most awkward headbang, followed by her throwing the poor man into the air before punching him viciously in the stomach. "Holy shit. He's gonna be in the hospital for weeks after that."

    "Yeah. I've never seen a beating so vicious!"

    "You haven't seen Samus Aran." Both of them paused, before they quickly stood up and saluted their CO.

    "C-Commander!" Both of them said.

    "At ease." He said. "So...I see that Samus is in custody?"

    "Yeah." One of them said. "She was subdued and arrested for assault charges, sir." As he mentioned that, the video showed her being hit with a small dart, before she fell to the ground, shaking. "Uh...yeah."

    "...Great." The Commander sighed. "...More paperwork. Can't wait until we explain why Mr. Suposam can't walk for the next few weeks. Thanks for the information Rocko, Sam."

    "Yes, sir." The both said, before they sat back down at their desk.

    The man sighed, before he walked over to a nearby holding sell. True to form, Samus was there, dressed in a black tank top and shorts. She didn't seem to be doing anything in particular, and her clothing was held in a locked closet. "...It seems that it's a good thing that you rarely come to Earth, Aran."

    Samus didn't say anything. Instead, she just nodded.

    "...Uh...are you going to say something?" The man said. "Perhaps a defense for your actions?"

    "I have none." Samus said. "I made a poor decision twice today. First was ramming a pirate ship, and the second was getting drunk." She said the line flatly.

    "Well, at least you can admit fault, though your tone says very little about what you feel about it."

    "My tone is unimportant, sir." She said. "...More importantly, when can I be released? My ship isn't to be spaceworthy for the next few days, and I would at least like to purchase some ice cream in the meantime."

    "...Ice cream?"

    "Rocky Road. It's crunchy and delicious."

    "Uh...huh."

    "I am allowed to like ice cream."

    "I never said that you weren't, Samus."
     
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    • To be fair at least one of the planet detonations was on accident, she had no reason to believe Mother Brain tied the self destruct button to her lifesupport. or that said self destruct would be for an entire planet.

    she still isn't sorry though. the place was a dump.
     
    BlackoutSampler said:
    To be fair at least one of the planet detonations was on accident, she had no reason to believe Mother Brain tied the self destruct button to her lifesupport. or that said self destruct would be for an entire planet.

    she still isn't sorry though. the place was a dump.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Zebes was Samus's home, the place where she grew up. One of the few places with intact Chozo artefacts.

    I imagine she was rather effected by its destruction.
     
    Well, this is a relief: As long as Earth is the exclusive source of genuine rocky road, its continued existence is guaranteed.
     
    "Here, I'll buy you whatever amount of Ice Cream you want if you just sit tight on this cell until you are departing the planet."

    A few days later:

    "I've spent more on ice cream these last few days than my car costs, but it was worth just to avoid the headache she'd have caused otherwise."
     
    Watched. It's a beautiful trainwreck you have here, Moid, what inspired you?
     
    "Would it be possible for me to leave now, sir?"

    "No."

    She frowned deeply. "...If you wouldn't mind me asking, why not?"

    "They're still processing your fuckup back at the bar." He sighed. "...Look, Samus. The only reason you haven't just been stuffed in the cubes for punching that guy in the gut is because-"

    "I am a valuable asset." Samus finished.

    "Well, yeah." He shrugged. "You're a merc that's worth more than this entire facility. Not everyone can blow up planets."

    She looked away at that. "One of those planets was my home, sir."

    "Well, yeah, but the life there was more than willing to mulch my soldiers. Especially with that pirate base."

    Samus didn't say anything in response.

    "But that's a digression. Point is, they don't wanna arrest you."

    "This is not the first time, sir." She looked up at him. "...Can I please leave to buy myself some ice cream, now?"

    He sighed. "It'll be another two hours before the processing is done. In the meantime, you can...uh...play video games."

    She looked at him incredulously. "...Such as what?"

    "...This one. Fantasy series." He gave her a small touchscreen, and immediately a hard-light controller popped out of the top. "It's based on some really old programming, but it should be fun."

    She just made a noncommittal grunt, and started playing. Five minutes later, Samus Aran, galactic bounty hunter, screamed in frustration at the virtual screen in front of her.

    The officer just sighed deeply as he left the room.
     
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