5.4 Mental Health Hotline
Between talking to Lisa and my dad, I don't think the three of us would be able to stop any other gang aside from Coil. We just couldn't hit hard enough. We had a massive information advantage against Coil because we were willing to break the unwritten rules against him, because he did so against Lisa. If we did that in general though, well, Lisa was pretty confident that we'd die, or that we'd have to join the PRT and leave the city to get adequate protection. Both those options were lame.
Maybe we could work with New Wave? I'd talk to Amy tomorrow at lunch. I liked that plan. Dad was in favor of it too, but had also suggested using Coil's money to hire Faultline's crew, or recruiting the Undersiders after Coil was dealt with by us. With those extra hands, and working with either New Wave or the PRT, then maybe we could hammer the E88 and basically beat them up in a single night, and capture them all at once, crushing their gang. Lisa didn't think the Undersiders as a whole would go for it, but it was possible Grue would. She expected Regent and Bitch to leave town once whatever hold Coil had on them was gone. Still, given how often cape fights were inconclusive, even I had to admit that seemed optimistic.
Lisa thought Purity had left the E88. She wanted to contact her and convince her to blast a gang safehouse once a day until the problem went away. If Amy was willing, then Purity could get a drastic makeover and leave town. Dad was wary of hassling the most powerful Blaster in the city. He had claimed that as he the only responsible adult of the group, he got to veto any bad plans, which including hassling Blaster capes into helping us without dire need. We still agreed that Lisa could try and find out how to get in touch with her, but Lisa wasn't to contact her without talking to the rest of the team.
The next day at school, I talked to Amy in class, and invited her to join me in the library during lunch, if she had time after she finished eating. She did, and she found me sitting in the library, working on some math.
"Hey Taylor, what's up?"
"Hey Amy, I'm OK. The library is just a quieter place to talk. Sorry if you were busy, I wanted to ask some questions but I didn't think a whole conversation at my house was worthwhile." I subtly nod my head in a knowing fashion. Which is wasted because when I glance up, Amy is digging some books I loaned her out of her backpack.
"Here Taylor, thanks for the books, I threw in one of mine you didn't have, for bus rides."
"Oh, thanks. So, I heard on some forums that Purity hasn't been seen with other E88 capes in a while, and she might be trying to go legit. Would my inside source care to comment? So I can pull one over on the other posters." I try to waggle my eyebrows, to suggest that I'm taking the one upmanship forums as a game to win, but not overly seriously.
"Uh, I actually don't know. I guess it's been awhile since the PRT has needed me to heal anybody from Purity, so maybe she's been avoiding heroes? I mean, she's never hurt a Ward, and Purity has always been pretty careful compared to what her powers can actually do. New Wave would win a fight with her. However, in terms of pure firepower, Legend is closer than us to as an equivalent to Purity."
"Hey, don't be knocking us, you got to stick up for your team Ames." Vicky interjects out of nowhere, or rather from the direction of the entrance door she's walking in from and towards us.
Ugh. "Hey Vicky, I hope you're well." I greet her as politely as I can. Amy adds in a 'Hey Vicky' as the girl sits down with us.
Well, maybe she knows something. "So we were just talking about Purity seeming to be trying to go vigilante. Have you heard anything like that? I want to prove somebody wrong on the internet."
Vicky responds derisively. "Hah, that nazi hasn't made any statements about wanting to be a hero. If she's been wanting to go legit, she should be making posts on PHO, or cutting a deal with the Protectorate. She's powerful enough she can attack the other gangs by herself, leaving the rest of their capes to do their own nefarious deeds."
"Well, OK, but if she's only attacking other gangs, isn't that kind of like being a vigilante?"
"Nah, it just means E88 doesn't want the heroes to hammer them. So, what kinds of things do you argue about on the internet?"
Amy rolls her eyes. Actually, I think that might be the most involvement she's shown in this conversation since Vicky showed up. Well, Vicky is a very, uh, boisterous person. "Plenty of things, and a lot of stuff about cape powers. Not any of the ID stuff, but like when Armsmaster first started using the Arms-bot, or whether he has got the social systems working on it yet."
"The what bot?"
Vicky is surprisingly good at feigning ignorance, while Amy just puts her face in her hands in exasperation at the small talk that is taking away from our covert heroing time.
"I, or well, I mean the internet, doesn't have access to PRT databases, and so they just make up names for cape stuff. Most of Armsmaster's stuff gets 'arms' stuck to the front of it. Like the Arms-cycle."
Vicky nods slowly, while Amy sits back and pays attention to her.
"So, people have done calculations, and even if Armsmaster slept only 6 hours a night, he doesn't have enough time to tinker, patrol, and do paperwork. Nobody believes the PRT could let paperwork go." Vicky snorts and nods in agreement. "So people have been wondering how he does it. One guy eventually said 'How do we know Armsmaster is on patrol? Because we can see his goatee, meaning it's not just somebody else wearing his armor. But then, the guy pointed out that the goatee never changes. He had all kinds of photos, showing that it was never changing length. Maybe it is fake, and therefore, maybe the whole face was fake. I mean, what's the difference between a power suit with a guy in it, and a power suit with a robot in it."
Vicky looks like she's trying to figure out how to respond without resorting to the generic 'no comment' response the PRT does when people guess right about secret PRT stuff. Amy has heard this theory before, so she's just patiently waiting. And smirking a bit.
"Of course, that's the real beauty of it, the robot, after building it, just needs to be repaired or maintained, while Armsmaster can do all the tinkering he wants, and send the Arms-bot on the Arms-cycle out patrolling when he's not expecting trouble. He sent it out too early though, before it was really ready, about 2 years ago, and somebody got a video of the robot's programming glitching. See, 'Armsmaster' was arresting this E88 thug, and luckily the video had sound, because partway through, the guy stops cursing and stuff. He looks at Armsmaster funny, and just sort of thinks for a moment, then asks 'Are you reading off a script?' Armsmaster stops for like a solid three seconds, then just tasers the dude. See the Arms-bot wasn't ready to divert questions about its existence, so Armsmaster, from his lab, remotely ordered the Arms-bot to tase the guy, so that he couldn't notice anything else about the Arms-bot. Void_cowboy, who can't figure out the rules for PHO, does make a useful spreadsheet of all cape sightings in the bay. After that event, Armsmaster disappeared for like two weeks from patrol, which clearly meant he had to quickly improve the Arms-bot before he could send it out again."
Vicky is just sort of confused, while Amy is giggling. Amy doesn't believe me all the time, but she doesn't make fun of me directly or spread rumors about me, which is good enough. She also said she can't confirm any secrets, even just telling me I'm wrong, because that's cheating.
She has said I'm right about at least one of the cape theories though, which is as much rule breaking as she's willing to do. Amy is big on rules, so I stick to being grateful for all the under the table cape help she's giving me.
Vicky gets her thoughts together. "So, this is what the internet thinks is the most likely explanation for how Armsmaster gets so much done?"
"Yeah, pretty much, well as much as the internet agrees on anything. Personally, I always kind of wondered if inside the Arms-lab, he couldn't just secretly have a stunt double, or something, for normal patrols. Still, the internet says Tinkers don't share gear much. So, it's just mostly fun trying to figure out how the capes get things done, especially the heroes."
"So getting to ask me questions must be a good opportunity for you, if you'd like, to get to share some new information that the internet doesn't know yet." Vicky says, leaning forward and looking mischievous.
I don't particularly feel like encouraging her. "Oh, well, I guess, but that would be kind of cheating. I mean, we're; we get along, and it would be inappropriate to take advantage of that. I don't look up stuff on Amy," who perks up and looks pleased but confused. "Because if I wanted to know about Panacea's stuff, I'd just ask her. Anything that I shouldn't know, well, I shouldn't be asking or she just wouldn't tell me. That's also why I don't post about her, because we talk in person. In contrast, I don't know Armsmaster, I have equal or fewer advantages that villain capes have for figuring out what he's doing. The upside is, that at least he can see what is being posted in public about what people might be able to figure out."
Vicky looks a bit annoyed that I am not asking her questions, but Amy is happy, as much as she ever gets anyway, and Amy is the one of the pair that I hang out with.
Well, lunch is almost over, and I didn't get to talk to Amy much, but there's time later. I'll invite her over again at some point to my house, and then we won't have interruptions.
========
Lisa remained sure Purity had gone vigilante, but since she didn't use PHO, or otherwise appear to talk to anybody, interacting with her hadn't really panned out.
This evening, Lisa had caught a cab from the boardwalk to our house. We invite her over about twice a week to have dinner with us. Now that the dangers of Lisa being surprise abducted by Coil had been greatly reduced, she has been able to get out and about more. However, as a group we didn't have the money to support her eating out every day. The money Lisa had stolen using the v3 power suit was enough to keep her supplied for a while. She had about $42,000, and of course, my share would help her too if she needed it, but nice restaurants and mall crawling would go through it a lot faster. Saving enough of it to get her out of town if needed was important.
Afterwards we got to talking, or at least to my dad pestering Lisa about how she was doing. She was a former supervillainess, or maybe she preferred 'supervillain' to avoid gender implications? Lisa snorted and cracked up in the middle of her conversation with dad, as she was apparently spying on my thoughts again.
She waves a hand at me to mollify me and responds with, "Sorry Taylor, I didn't mean to do it, I just glanced over. Sorry to dodge out of the conversation Danny, but to answer Taylor's unspoken question, I generally think of myself as Tattletale, more than either supervillain or supervillainess."
Dad gets enough of unspoken part of things to chuckle and add in, "My daughter caught the feminism from her mother, not that I disapprove. Actually, so your power is both active and passive right? With your ability to tamp down on it dependent on your emotional state? You've raided gang safehouses by yourself and the Undersiders, and have been doing research from your lair as well. Do you have a preference between those activities?"
"Well, I'm better at doing the desk stuff, and with allies fighting, but if you don't let a parahuman use their powers aggressively, well, there's been a couple studies and in them the cape starts to get crazy. Taylor is the most patient cape I've ever met in person. Still, Tinkers in general are less susceptible to it. Dragon hasn't left her base in years. She still does combat remotely though."
Dad gets concerned at the thought of me going nuts. "Taylor, are you feeling a need to go out and beat up criminals?"
Yeah, I'm feeling real mindlessly violent. I sigh and actually answer the question. "Uh, not really, I mean, as long as I feel like I'm making a difference I'm pretty OK. I guess recently I feel like I've been doing nothing, just waiting for Coil to be ready to get smacked down. I've been wanting to maybe go attack the E88, weaken them, so that we can go after them after Coil."
"Well, I'm going to confirm that research myself Lisa, no offense meant, but if that's really the case that Taylor needs a healthy outlet for aggression, well, that's the case for some of the dockworkers too. We're going to discuss this more later OK, that way you can be safe. And you too Lisa, since you've apparently got it worse than Taylor here, and I'd like to know you're safe, in light of all the help you've done for us, and because you're part of the group at this point as well. Actually, speaking of mental weaknesses, you're good at picking those out, aren't you Lisa?"
Dad, where are you going with this?
"Yeah, I am Danny, but this are also usually very private."
I add in "You've been pretty decent about it though, I mean, for not poking at things."
"That she has, but especially if you, Taylor, are going to be fighting capes at some point, and Lisa already has, and I'm supposedly a responsible adult, I figure Lisa here might be willing to share some insights she has inadvertently picked up, just due to the passive nature of her power."
Lisa is looking about as uncomfortable as I feel about dad asking her to poke around psychological issues we might have. Still, healthy mind, healthy body, beating up gangers. Getting all three sounds like a good idea, at least in concept.
"Alright Lisa, if it'll get dad to worry less; what's an issue I've got, and I promise to not immediately flip out on you for saying it."
Lisa grimaces "Well, OK, I've really tried not to pry, but here is then. You refuse to call anybody 'friend', because after whomever betrayed your friendship, you refuse to acknowledge current social relationships, and it's stunting your ability to relate to others."
I'm calm enough to appreciate the irony of how upset I am at her betrayal for doing what I asked. I guess I'm not overly surprised though at what she says. I'm not dumb, it's just easier to not be weakened by trusting people, like what happened before.
"OK, see, I'm really trying to not be a smartass here, or abuse my power's insight into your mind, but you won't even let yourself think the name of the person who betrayed you. That's not healthy. You're not moving past it, you haven't let go, you just ignore that part of life much as you can. I'm trying to be a decent friend, Amy is your friend. You can have friends, and sure, some people will be jackasses, but you'll be happier if you actually move past the betrayal from your former friend."
Dad hadn't interrupted her, to defend me, and I glare him.
"Taylor, maybe Lisa is being a brat, but even if she's that and completely wrong, I'm not seeing this as malicious. I'm not going to be mad at her for it. If she is right, I'm not going to love you less, even if I'll still want to help you improve."
'Thanks dad', I think sourly, but try to be marginally more polite in my response. "I'm content how I am now though. I don't want to change. I'm making something of myself and I'm making the Bay safer while I'm doing it." My words are a bit more clipped than I'd like, for expressing how irrelevant this conversation has become. "I am fine how I am."
"Did you think I was doing fine after your mother passed on? Before I reconnected to some our family friends?"
Low blow, and not fair. "Well, we're different people."
"Yeah, we are, and I remember how much Emma's betrayal hurt you, both in your actions and mind during your freshman year. I struggled to hold on to myself after your mother died, and if I hadn't needed to force myself back together and if I hadn't gotten help from Kurt, Lacey, and other friends, I'm pretty sure I'd be a much worse parent and person. You don't have to have friends Taylor, I'm not going to try and force that on you, but if you do make friends, that is a good thing."
I'm debating on how to respond to that when Lisa interrupts.
"Actually, speaking of our friends, how aware are you guys about Amy's mental well-being."
Dad looks at me, so I guess I'm talking first. "Amy doesn't like her power and seems pretty unhappy even if she's healed loads of people, because she can't heal her dad."
"Danny?" Lisa asks.
"Amy is burning out from severe stress and overwork, and there's possibly emotional or physical abuse in her home life. Those problems, coupled with a severe cynicism and distrust are pushing her towards a meltdown."
I can't help my immediate response of "Holy shit, why weren't we talking about Amy then?"
Lisa responds in a rapid voice. "OK, one, why do you care if Amy isn't your friend? Two, yes, I'm being a jackass, sorry. Three, if I'm not supposed to share other's secrets, how the hell am I supposed to bring it up if neither of you are aware of it?"
I'm not sure how to respond to that, especially all of those points together, which I guess is why Lisa spoke quickly.
Dad starts before I can. "Let's leave the issues you guessed at with Taylor alone for the moment." Dad gives me a nod, which I return. "Amy had a breakdown here at the house a while back, and since then, I've done some checking online, with the folks that track cape stuff. Amy, in her role as Panacea, works some 20 to 30 hours a week at various hospitals, after her schooling. I took an opportunity to talk with her mom, who is either unaware of the actual total hours, or considers them barely adequate for Amy's role as a hero. Amy shouldn't be doing that much as a kid, or otherwise she should be getting college funds or whatever. I've had to watch a lot of union boys get slowly torn down as the work has dried up, and Amy is a kid, but some of the issues sound similar."
"Amy looks pretty OK at school though..." I'm not really sure how to respond to any of that.
"Sure she does." Lisa says. "I'm sure you look like you're fine as well."
Before I can put words to the look I send towards Lisa, which by all rights should set her literally on fire, dad starts talking. "Lisa, that's not a reasonable way to say that, and second, I hope you understand that while I'm leaving you until last but I still have major concerns are about you."
Lisa blinks, and well, I'll feel like a jerk if she's got worse issues than Amy or I.
"How did you slip that by my power?" Lisa asks, but then looks smug.
Dad smirks for a moment at her. "Yeah, yeah, you've already figured it out, clever girl. I phrased it that way to knock you out of the conversation before you could start to bait Taylor with either her issues or Amy's issues, and as soon as I said it, I decided I was probably right in thinking it. You got kidnapped at gunpoint, threatened and forcibly recruited, and made to commit various crimes. Taylor here eventually rescued you, but you've lived for months in fear of being recaptured and drugged into compliance. I'm pretty sure your issues rank up there around Amy's problems. I'd like to hope Taylor is doing better, but in thinking about this conversation, I can't recall, after Emma turning into a bitch, if Taylor has referred to anybody as a friend, so that's a problem."
Dad trails off there.
"OK, that got pretty heavy all around." Lisa starts, but dad interrupts her.
"Sorry, I'm not done with my soapbox yet. I'm going to play the adult card." I don't bother rolling my eyes. "Taylor, I'm grateful you're mature enough to not roll your eyes." Curse dad's understanding of my personality, and also Lisa's smug face that I want to punch. "But the point so stands that none of you young adults are recovering as much as I'd like from your problems. Taylor, you need friends. Lisa, we're going to wreck Coil, and we'll talk more later about any other issues you have that you want help with, since I'm not willing to waste time trying to force you to get help. Since neither of you two girls want to address your personal problems, yes, I know that's the case because it's obvious, let's talk about how the pair of you can avoid making Amy's life worse. Taylor, Amy needs more friends. Lisa, you're a smart, insightful girl, and your method of psychological help is like polishing a car with steel wool, so be nice. The pair of you, I hope, would be good friends for her, and regardless, can probably help her."
"Dad, do you really think Amy's being abused?"
"She spends more time at work then at home, and doesn't seem to have people taking care of her. I don't think she's in danger of being say beaten and in need of a hospital herself, but I expect that she is using the hospital as an escape from her home life. Hospitals do good work, but I've heard it can be very draining. I think the phrase is 'people leave the hospital when they're healthy, and otherwise stay in the hospital until they die', so if Amy is avoiding her home by choosing to go to the hospital, no matter how much good work she's doing, I'm doubtful she's healthy mentally."
"When she was giving me my total body makeover, she was pretty resentful of her power and afterwards at lunch, that's the happiest she's been in a while, excepting time when she's with her sister. I got some mixed signals about her sister. I think Glory Girl is the best and worst for Panacea. I'm not really clear, but something like Amy treats not being with her sister or not being as good as her sister as a kind of failure? I was mainly using my power to ensure I kept my balance after my dramatic growth spurt to avoid shattering my skeleton."
"Why would she spend time at the hospital if she wants to feel special by being near Vicky?" That seems like an obvious conundrum to me.
"Well, I don't know, I'm basically guessing at this point. She liked getting lunch with the three of us, but because of that her mind wasn't really on her problems. My power works best when a person really wants me to know, or really doesn't want me to know. Amy wasn't thinking about her problems until you had already given me a headache by trying to talk in metaphor, so I'd have needed to intentionally seek out that info, and well, I wasn't trying to do that."
Dad says "Actually that's probably for the best. We're not her family, and while we care and are concerned, prying into her life's problems uninvited is a good way to make things worse. Lisa, you can't help but pick up stuff from people you talk to. It's not fair, but as a kindness to Amy, would you mind if Taylor let Amy know at school that your power might pick up on her secrets, especially after she starts being paranoid and worrying about it?"
"Sure, that's fine."
"Maybe you can talk to her on PHO? Or she won't mind taking to us?" I try to be both helpful and not talking about my problems. Lisa will know my intentions, but a responding brief grin from her assures me that she too would prefer that neither of our potential problems are discussed in front of my dad.
"Well, that's quite a lot to think about. I would like know what Amy thinks before I try and figure out what I want from all of this talk." Lisa goes for the subtle, then frowns at she looks at my dad.
"Yeah yeah, not subtle enough there, Lisa. Anyway, dinner was good, and I'm going to call it a good thing to get more of these issues out in the open, but for now it's fine to take a break and think about things. Would you two be ok with watching a movie by yourselves? Kurt invited me out for drinks this evening, and I figure you are both sufficiently mature to not kill each other, or burn down the house?"
Thanks for putting that in the form of a question dad.
Lisa and I are fine with it, and we go for a classic scary movie, The Frighteners. After dad heads out, I hit Lisa with a pillow a few times until she settles down and stops trying to pester me. Eventually, before she heads back to her lair, I do sigh and say "Fine, we can be friends. You are my friend Lisa."
I half heartedly try and use a pillow to beat the smug expression off her face, but the pillow is too soft. She eventually leaves me alone when I offer to rescue her if the fox she stole her grin from ever catches back up to her. I think I'm hilarious, but if bad metaphors really cause Lisa physical pain, that's also acceptable.
Taylor, sigh
, no words.
