Taylor... you were so close...
So close to what?
Creeping Brian out by staring at him?
Grasping that her units are actually all on just one side of the Adorable/Terrifying Sliding Scale of Public Trauma, and it's not the side of the fluffy bunnies?
Remembering to use her actual arms instead of her tentacle arms for normal actions?
Noticing that she still subconsciously flails her tentacle arms when she's nervous?
I mean, there's just so many options
That is going to go nicely, I'm sure she'll be pleased by the attention.
Well, Taylor doesn't really want to talk to Ms Piggot about it, so she'll likely just tell her dad. Or decide that it's retroactively implied by the "I protect my allies" policy and that it's totally fine to just not talk to anybody about it.
It's not like she's working on people, and that's the big No issue. Protecting her allies, even the grumpy angry ones that are mean, is so obvious that people would likely tell her
not to protect Ms Piggot if she wasn't supposed to protect Ms Piggot.
Yeah, that's reasonable. She should just do it and not bother telling people about things that she should obviously be doing.
Taylor, putting tinkered monsters into her house is not how you make friends with Emily. Better make them the super stealth versions so that you can get all of them inside and surrounding her before she notices.
Well, yeah. Ms Piggot likely has like friends from her work that come over, and other friends.
What if somebody saw a Jelly Unit flopping around when its active camouflage failed? Wouldn't that just be the worst of all possible things in terms of embarrassments for Taylor as a Tinker?
Also, it might make things awkward for Ms Piggot if a Jelly unit fell on somebody's head while they were using the bathroom. Amy complained a lot about that from when Taylor rescued her at the hospital.
if it comes to it, Emily will appreciate your habitual "helpful kidnappings"TM even less than Othala did. I recommend sending twice as many drone units as you expect to need. Maybe even dedicate a full production run to following her around so you are ready to respond as needed.
Ms Piggot has already stated off screen, in unknowing agreement with Lisa and Amy, that there is no such thing as a 'helpful kidnapping/rescue' unless every step, device, and person involved has been vetted by somebody other than Recluse.
Don't worry Taylor! Let me introduce you to the term
Wrench Wench. Basically, it means there's an allure in girls who does machinery. Some people even find them attractive. Maybe Brian is one of them?
Brian has enough confidence to ask a prospective partner out, and he doesn't think Taylor is unattractive.
However, he also thinks Taylor is a
Mafia Princess and that her 'considered and calm' reactions have resulted in a concerning list too long to include here. Also, being the first person to test whether or not Danny is an
Overprotective Dad might end up being a
terminal issue for his future. If Brian thought Taylor liked him, he would be very happy to let her take the lead on every advancement in their relationship. If things didn't work out along the way, he'd talk to Danny first and then let Taylor down as easy as possible.
"Containing" would offend my sensibilities much less.
All residues after high-explosions are carbon-based. With, maybe (maybe!) some nitrogen, yes, but carbon based. Compounds with large amount of nitrogen are usually explosives, the more percentage of nitrogen, the worse the thing is.
Fun link. All (most of) the nitrogen from high explosives (and HE usually have little nitrogen, ideal stochometry is around C/N/O : 1:1:2) transforms into molecular nitrogen gas.
Alien Space Whale(TM) provided science? It's supposed to be weird. Wouldn't including something sensible make it uninteresting to Taylor?
It's a throwaway bit of technobabble, so I'm not opposed to changing it, but it seems to be doing its job of making a reader sit up and say "Hey, that's weird to find in an engine."
The only problem with that entire scenario is that Tagg is a military man, not a social thinker. He'll think about the easiest, more efficient way to t.ake them down and do it, much like he did in Canon, without worrying about how it looks, just like when he attacked a warlord in a school. It might have the best odds, but in any real city, the parents would be filing suit after suit for endangering their children. Then the media would destroy him until his Superiors tucked him away out of sight in Antartica.
To be fair, we're working within Worm's setting. Tagg wasn't immediately destroyed politically for what he did at Arcadia, and he at least appeared to believe he would get away with it.
Assuming, of course, that he did, in fact, manage to catch the entire cabel at once. Something I don't see happening with Taytay's paranoia.
Well, yes, I believe that is the key assumption in this scenario. Well, perhaps just behind Lisa's inability to stop sticking her nose into the PRT's business. I'm not sure she could do it more than she does already if she also desperately wanted a nose job and the Brockton Bay PRT HQ was physically holding all of the nose job plastic surgeons of the world hostage within its walls.
the PRT isn't in full control of the media, otherwise incidents like the E88 identity leak wouldn't happen.
A solid point. The PRT would very much like to have prevented the media from trying to get Brockton Bay burned to the ground.
the PRT and Hebert SCONE aren't the only actors involved here. The SCONE is managing two of the six refugee camp. The people in this camps will scream if their already low supply is being cut off further. The media is not always the one that shapes public opinions, the welfare of the people in this camps have a louder say than anything the PRT would try to make the media spin. And by this point, the media will fold and amplify the cry louder.
The Hebert SCONE was providing food and supplies only to Taylor's camp, which is an unofficial one. Still, the Hebert SCONE does provide security for both camps.
On that point though, with Danny gone, I'd give it better than even odds that the official camp collapses into anarchy. It's not guaranteed, and I hadn't thought about it before now, but the juggling of locations and people that Danny has to manage by himself or with Lisa to ensure that nobody notices the lack of Taylor living in camp and the ways in which the camp is protected means that he's very much the keystone for day to day operations. Then there's the way in which the dockworkers union might throw a fit of their own over the treatment of their leader that has been keeping them fed and having them run the camp.
Why bother with a rewrite? A letter or call from the Pellham's to Amy should be enough to give an outline, shouldn't it? That is, if this is going to be something that needs to come up in the future of the story. Now, does it need to? I believe so and my reasoning will be given below but at the end that is up to you.
here are the things...
- They were made to join. The Pellham's and the Dallon's did not want to join, they were made to join.
- The they did so in a way that specifically tried to rob the one who forced them to join of their services, making it seem as if they would make things difficult for the PRT when pressed in other ways.
- Their attempt was unsuccessful, sine the Dalon's are still in Brockton Bay, meaning there was probably additional pressure, assurances from the PRT that wasn't kept or broken bonds, family or friendship or both.
- The Pellham's had to leave their home, their friends and their family.
- The PRT are aware that they were forced to join, meaning there must be some form of "no quitting within the next 5 /10 / 15 years" in their contract, because otherwise they could give notice after a month or two, so there is a lack of freedom.
Given the above, I do not see them, the Dallon's or especially the Pellham's being very happy with the PRT. Resigned, working to get to a better position, doing their time... But not happy yet. (Maybe not ever.) Them already being happy with the PRT and their current situation would require a lot I think. And the PRT should be aware of this. So them doing fine... If you want happy loyal Pellham's and / or Dallon's who are doing well and would be willing to keep being part of the PRT and / or Wards then give the readers a reason to think that they won't quit the moment they turn 18 or their contract allows then give a reason or two.
Now, does the above matter? Yes. Because of Amy. Amy's interaction with the PRT / the Protectorate / the Wards / ex directors, her opinion of the PRT / the Protectorate / the Wards / ex directors and the opinions she gives regarding the PRT / the Protectorate / the Wards / ex directors would be influenced by how those she knew were treated. If the PRT forced the Dallon's (excluding Amy) and the Pellham's to join, if good PR for Victoria depended upon her joining, despite how easy it should have been, if the PRT brought more pressure down onto New Wave to successfully ensure that part stayed in the Bay, if... Things like that would affect how Amy interacts with the PRT and their representatives as well as with Piggot and would affect her discussions with Taylor about the PRT, Wards, Protectorate and Piggot.
You summed up nicely the number of issues that would make fixing this require a rewrite.
Now, to expand more on the Protectorate/New Wave issues: The outcome could be looked at
either Win/Win or Lose/Lose, but not Lose/Win.
As Piggot commented, if New Wave wanted to be heroes, then the PRT had them over a barrel for their screw ups.
The people of New Wave do, in fact, want to be heroes.
The Pelhams are already good heroes overall, but they seriously dropped the ball in relating to the other half of the team and keeping an eye on them. As capes with public identities, that is a issue with
life-threatening implications for their future. Neil and Sarah do not want their children hurt, killed, or kidnapped, and New Wave clearly lacks the type of self-management that would prevent such issues. Joining the Protectorate and Wards is a solid and significant step towards fixing those issues. Leaving the city is a fresh start for the Pelhams, and forming a core of a new Protectorate District ensures that any possible bad faith politics from District ENE is also left behind.
Carol accepted that she was a bad parent. She loves Vicky, and describing her feelings towards Amy right now as "it's complicated" is a hilarious understatement. However, Vicky and Amy were nearly utterly uncontrolled, and nothing of Carol's hopes and fears for them were affecting what they were doing. Furthermore, unlike the rest of New Wave, Carol's actions directly contributed to getting a lot of people killed. Carol knew nothing about the remote bombs of Bakuda, and acted entirely without concern for the strategic implications of her own actions.
Mark is depressed, and has a lot of self-blame now on top of it. He knew Carol had issues, and still did nothing he sees as adequate to protect her or his kids. He's going to be in therapy for a while.
Carol and Mark elected to accept the PRT's desire that they stay in Brockton Bay for several reasons. First, it is a sort of public self-flagellation over their own guilt. Not the healthiest of reasons, but it also clearly separates them, the failed heroes, from the Pelhams. Helping the Pelhams make a clean separation is a decent thing to do for them. Second, Vicky is not getting out of this without probation in the Wards. Letting her stay with her boyfriend and other friends is a small kindness that may help Vicky understand that this is both a punishment and lesson on how to be a better hero. Third, Amy and the huge hot mess of political issues that the unrestricted healing she represents entails. Taking Amy out of the city, into a new District, would make her the most attractive target out of all of New Wave for being kidnapped. Brockton Bay has an established cape scene. Not a stable or static one, but at least the capes that already tried to kidnap her were out of towners. If Amy is taken out of the city, there's now unknown threat levels of both out of towners and the local established villains. Furthermore, Amy has Recluse here. Carol and Mark are not thrilled about Recluse, but the enigmatic Tinker is at least helpful to Amy, and Amy has passed all M/S screening thus far for malign influence. If a new Director, either Tagg in Brockton Bay or the Director of wherever they might move to, decides to pressure Amy, then Recluse has already fully demonstrated her ability and willingness to not care about what other groups want in opposition to what Amy wants. Amy is the only Dallon who didn't screw up, and Carol has a complex mess of feelings that has resulted in trying to ensure that Amy isn't punished for what her sister or parents did. Also, it's a little reassuring to keep Amy in the city of the only group that was able to rescue her when she was kidnapped. The PRT and New Wave completely failed in dealing with that, but Recluse made the problem go away. Whether or not 'go away' means 'experiment on everybody involved in kidnapping Amy until they eventually died' is a question that Carol and Mark really hope has an answer that is at least neutral on the morality scale, but at least Recluse rescued Amy when they and the PRT failed.
As for Vicky, she feels horribly guilty about what her aura did to Amy, and yet also emotionally violated by the implicit trust about the sisterly relationship with Amy being something other than what Vicky understood it to be. She still considers Amy her sister, and wants good things for her, but being in the same room as Amy makes Vicky's skin crawl. She's going to get over it, just as Amy is slowly getting over her own power induced infatuation, but Amy not having to join the Wards is a solid plus, for both sisters. Amy would be severely isolated if her only option was 'not-Wards'. Staying in Brockton Bay means Amy has the option of Recluse as protection and support.
Doesn't illegal mean that nobody is allowed to do it?
Paperwork doesn't make Danny Xanathos. However, doing paperwork that only Xanathos would do proves Danny is Xanathos. Additionally, him only doing paperwork at the camp doesn't make sense. Hense the fact that he should have an office at the lair.
Danny made up the character for Xanatos, whole cloth and entirely for the purpose of talking to people.
There is no paperwork for Xanatos.
All the paperwork Danny does is for Lisa's part of the Hebert SCONE. Most of it also doesn't have Thrawn's name on it, because that's a clear and obvious sign that it's illegal. Now that I've thought about it, I've fairly sure that Danny has never actually applied a writing implement to dried wood pulp to mark out the letters 'Xanatos'. If he ever signed an autograph, it would surprising valuable. Xanatos only exists insofar as the costume of Xanatos exists.
The PRT does not get to dictate custody rights, but would an evil Director be able to interfere by making statements to those who decide custody rights? If he can say that the Pelham's aren't the best choice of guardians's because of their children triggering and what that implies and / or because Lady Photon was the leader of New Wave but look at how she did not keep track of how much Panacea worked and / or because Lady Photon was the leader of New Wave but look at the Bakuda mess and / or something else that is true enough?
Sure, Tagg can say that first point. He'll have to present evidence to a judge to make it stick, but he could certainly try for a PR win before that. Making an argument that the parents of children who trigger are inherently not fit to retain custody of their children makes me think of outcomes where he's literally eaten by a soccer mom brigade (The teasing of BeaconHill about their cannibalism tropes is a bad influence on me) before every other Director overseeing Wards have the time to pool their money and have him assassinated, but Tagg could certainly try for that argument.
The other points would work with varying degrees of success, but the argument that Tagg would then be an idiot for working with untrustworthy people after he took over as Director and did nothing to change their deal with the PRT would undercut his points. That's before anybody else even has to make a statement. I expect that if I was writing it, I would give Tagg a victory on these points, but a rather narrow one that was only relative to the loss of credibility done to his opponents. The people whose reputation he is tearing down are supposedly his own people after all.
The problem is that if the inner circle of SCONE is captured, the PRT is the ones who'll be able to spin things. SCONE won't. The PRT will be able to provide recordings and statements and pictures and expert opinions. The inner circle of SCONE will sit in cells. The PRT will be able to call in favors for past interviews, make promises about future interviews and provide photo opportunities. The inner circle of SCONE, considering the Canary trial, could easily sit in bio hazard cells, gagged and with brute restraints on for the media to get one or two quick pictures. (Because Recluse could be a bio tinker who might have enhanced them or buried unpleasant stuff in their bodies and Xanathos and Thrawn could be social thinkers who might also have unearthed and shared secrets that should not be released.) So Danny thinking things will work out because of possible media attention positively focused on SCONE in case of capture does no seem warranted to me.
I don't understand why you aren't accounting for Brian, Aisha, and Amy when you say this. The PRT will absolutely be contested in their treatment of the Hebert SCONE by Amy, almost certainly by Brian simply teleporting out of containment, and there's good odds that Aisha will simply walk out if she was somehow picked up.
Which could very easily have been spun into Canary losing control of her powers when an extortionist ex caught her by surprise. Showing that Canary needed training and oversight, thus allowing the PRT to force her into the Protectorate as a probationary member. Honestly, the brute restraints, only communicating with her lawyer by email and the lawyer only responding after
hours or days? Canary's trial was unfair and could relatively easily have been spun another way by focusing on the extortion of the ex.
Yeah? A reexamination of Canary's trial would be very unlikely to make it easier for Tagg to abuse the Hebert SCONE.
So Aisha or Brian goes to a reporter with a story about how Tagg has a policy of "white supremacy is fine". And the reporter asks some questions. And the reporter gets an interview with Shadow Stalker and some PRT agents and a different headline appears that praises the brave PRT agents and Shadow Stalker for shifting from a mission that was observation or perhaps a mission that aimed at a suspected non powered gang members thrashing an abandoned camp or perhaps a patrol to attempting to capture Hookwolf and company.
Now, one side of the story has interviews and quotes and the other just a headline and speculation... Which story gets taken seriously and printed.
Uh, the one built around the issue where the teenage girl was somehow
not ordered to retreat from a four verses one cape fight that included a birdcage bound murderer?
What part of that situation makes you think the media wouldn't gnaw off one of their own arms to run a story like that? Running a story about the PRT sending a single heroic
child parahuman against four villains makes for an amazing story line about PRT reckless endangerment or incompetence. Every part of Worm canon downplays the ability of normals to fight parahumans. The PRT strike squad, the one that had multiple fatalities and was only saved by the timely intervention of Recluse's drone units, was clearly inadequate as protection or backup for Shadow Stalker.
With one statement (an informant provided the PRT with information about the Bond villain style base) and proof that there has been clashes with Empire 88 it looks like he got a good tip on where to raid one of the gangs in the city.
The gang that is run by a bunch of kids and a single dad? The gang that spent the vast majority of its now public activities in running two homeless camps and ferrying around Panacea? The one keeping villains in their employ from committing further crimes, took down another gang that was into kidnapping children, and has been attacking the white supremacist gang of the city?
That gang, or was it another one?
If Tagg gets all of the Hebert SCONE, Aparrit is going to escape and Imp is probably going to escape. They're going to tell the news people the same content as what I said in the immediately preceding sentences to this one. Then they're going to get Amy to back them up, which she will. Panacea is going to be upset at Taylor getting incarcerated, and will enthusiastically confirm that Tagg likes abusing children and breaking the law.
If Tagg stops
that, by incarcerating Amy, then Carol and Vicky will lose their shit. They will tell anybody and everybody that Tagg is trying to cover up his own crimes by scapegoating children, as publicly as possible.
If Tagg stops
that, by incarcerating all the Dallons, then the Pelhams will calmly and methodically make public statements to wreck Tagg's narrative.
They rescued Canary and they know Recluse does at least some tinkering with humans.
Yeah? I've already agreed to that multiple times at this point. I don't see how it's further relevant.
I have two points. The first is that Lisa should have some inkling of how far Tagg is willing to go and thus would have opposed Danny's plan to approach Piggot because of what could have gone wrong for SCONE.
As for what Lisa should know, I'm not sure how to respond to the or the subsequent points based on it. Metastable!Lisa thinks her decisions are good ideas, and that her compromises are at least acceptable.
