There is simply too much to talk about. Where should you start? Where
can you start? So much has changed, so many things revealed in the past few days, and it all bubbles up within you as if threatening to burst out in an incoherent stream of words. You only barely manage to keep your mouth shut and avoid hastily spouting complete nonsense. You're even tempted for a millisecond to just say that the world was secretly just an anime all along, before rejecting that thought.
Instead, you finally take a deep breath, banish the useless whirl of thoughts for a moment, and start with one thing. "So… Magic exists."
"Well, clearly," Kichirou snarks back, though he looks more awed than disgruntled by your apparently obvious statement. "I can't think of any other reason for what happened earlier, or how you're here now."
You nod, and feel yourself relax a little bit more. Despite everything, this feels… casual, like any ordinary debate about stupid semantics over dinner, and a far cry from the stress of talking to your new teammates earlier. You find it a little easier to shuffle your thoughts into some semblance of order, and you press on. "Magical Girls exist too," you gesture down at your dress, "and I am one now."
Kichirou wrinkles his nose. "What? That's way too dumb and girly."
You facepalm. "Girly? I
am a girl."
"It's still dumb."
"And your 'sentai riders' aren't? At least this turned out to be real."
"...Okay, fine, got me there."
Silence falls for a moment, the two of you glaring at each other slightly, before he cracks a grin. "Maybe it can be a
little cool, I guess, as long as there aren't too many sparkles. I'll wait until I see you in action to decide." You hope he won't have to, but keep that thought to yourself. The last thing you want is for him to get hurt, or worse.
That reminds you of the other elephant in the room, and you glance back down at yourself. "Magical Girls exist, as do ghosts. Which I also am." Despite the comfortable atmosphere, an echo of the hollow feeling from the funeral still lingers, and that admission makes you all the more aware of it.
Kichirou doesn't say anything to that, face falling, and you quickly move on. "And there's also werebears, apparently? Definitely not one of those." You're not sure that's really what Rina-san was, but right now it's the first thing that comes to mind. "Oh, and also aliens." You recall the talk with Nel about the other worlds that the Shades influence, and your silly image of an extraterrestrial in a tutu. In a way, it occurs to you that the Shades themselves are also aliens, even if not what you would have expected.
Mental tangents aside, you're glad to see that lightened the mood a bit again. "A werebear? Did you fight one?" You suppress a wince, unwittingly recalling the distressing sound of Miho getting slapped down.
"...Yeah. We sent her running, too!" You don't think of yourself as a particularly egotistical person, but your pride does feel a bit more bruised over it than you realized until now. Technically, despite how poorly it all went, Rina-san did flee in the end, right? That totally counts. For sure, yep.
If Kichirou notices your plastered-on bravado, he doesn't comment. "Aliens… Do they like, abduct and probe people or something?" Putting his hands to his forehead, he wiggles a pair of fingers like antennae, adding a series of silly mouth noises and "beep boop, neener neener"s, and you giggle loudly. You just as quickly shut up, conscious of the noise, but laughter still shakes you into a slumped position. It feels… nice.
Finally sitting back upright, you shake your head with a lingering grin. "Not exactly, no. Really, one of them was the one who offered me this job. Magical Girl, uh, Kikuko, protector of this city!" He rolls his eyes again, and you stick your tongue out at him.
After a moment he suddenly sobers up. "Are… are they trustworthy?" You give a noncommittal hum, but nod after a moment. Nel, at least, feels too airheaded to have any ulterior motives, and the explanation of the Shades' history yesterday has mostly appeased any doubts you might have had before. Something still feels a little off, and the hospital nurse flashes in your mind, but you push that away. Midori will be looking into it tomorrow. So lost in these thoughts, you almost miss Kichirou's next question. "You said 'we'. There are other magical girls, right?" You nod again, tilting your head curiously. "Then are they… you know… deadorsomething, too?"
Ah. You close your eyes and sigh. "No, it's just… just me. My situation is quite specific." You find yourself trying to recall your first conversation with Nel, and the reasons they had given for approaching you, but so much else has happened since, that exchange is already a bit muddled in your recollection. Finally opening your eyes again, you simply shrug. "I just happened to be available, and… it lets me stick around."
This time, the melancholy silence lingers longer, before you can work up the courage to break it again. "At least when I'm in my Magical Girl form like this, I can interact normally with the world. Kind of attention-getting, really, but it's something. Otherwise, it's like when we 'talked' earlier."
It's your brother's turn to nod silently, chewing on his lower lip, before his brows furrow in discontent, tone curdling. "Then why didn't you say anything sooner?"
Your own frustration flares up in response, and you nearly snap back about how busy and overwhelmed you've been, dump everything you've had to deal with onto his shoulders and see how well he takes it. But you once again manage to hold yourself back, sinking back down into the chair, only now realizing you had leapt to your feet, and noticing the way your brother shrunk back.
Thankfully, rather than all of that, there is a much more convenient scapegoat for your ire. "Alien-san wants as much stuff kept under wraps as possible, for some reason. Can't tell the others that I'm a ghost, because that might make them look bad, and I wasn't supposed to talk to my family unless it became absolutely necessary."
Kichirou nods in understanding, looking mostly relieved, though he still raises an eyebrow at you. "But here you are."
You grin nervously with a slightly-too-shrill chuckle. "Yep. I uh… I, finally got permission? And here I am! Heh…" Your lie does not even convince yourself, and judging by the flat gaze you're met with, he sees through it too.
Then after a moment, he smiles wide and jumps up, and before you can blink, you're dragged into a tight, warm hug. "...Thanks, Nee-chan. I'm glad you talked to me anyway," he mumbles into the area of your collarbones.
Your stiff stance quickly melts, and even with your arms pinned at your sides, you find a way to return the embrace. Neither of you were especially inclined towards close contact like this, and you'll start getting uncomfortable if this lasts too long, but just this once you can make an exception. Exhaling, you lean your chin on the top of his head to hide your fond grin, and feel a little piece of that hollowness from before fill back up. For someone you were never too eager to spend time with before, you suddenly realize just how much you've missed him these past few days.
"Brrr, you're freezing!"
Thankfully, the hug ends before it can get weird, and you giggle teasingly at his exaggerated shivering, rubbing his hands together to warm them again. (With Miho's lack of complaints about the cold when you were helping to carry her, you have to wonder just what's happening here. The first place your mind goes is your old Yuki-onna costume from last year; could this be some new side-effect of being a ghost? Or perhaps your newfound ice powers are to blame; you are transformed right now, after all, though why hasn't this happened until now? Maybe you should just move on, rather than overthinking things. You need to stop thinking about this now. Stop it.)
Sitting back down much more gently this time, you lean your head back a bit. You're still not sure how much more you want to tell him, or how much you should, really, but there's a relief in having gotten this far. Nel may not approve if they knew, but it isn't without a little spiteful satisfaction that you resolve not to inform them what you've done. More importantly… You have some of your family back, in a way. Even if you are… a ghost, you are not
gone, are you?.
Ghostly tears drip from your face, and yet your cheeks could almost hurt from how wide you're smiling.
Suddenly, a loud knock on the door startles you out of your feelings, and you nearly detransform on instinct before remembering the door is locked. Instead, you glance back to Kichirou, who seems just as frazzled, but makes no moves to open up. "What is it?" He finally squeaks. "This isn't a great time!"
"It's me," comes the other voice. Your father, Naruhito Yukimura. "Your mother and I have been talking about this weekend, and while I wanted to tell you earlier over dinner, we didn't make up our minds until just now. May I come in?"
Kichirou glances at you, and you hold up a finger for him to wait. Quickly picking your way across his messy floor to a far corner, you nod at him before detransforming. He stares at you in shock for a few moments more, but before you can start to worry that you're still visible, he hurries to the door to unlock it. "Toh-san, what's going on?" Kichirou asks while ushering him in.
Your father sits down heavily in the seat you just vacated, shivering briefly and subsequently frowning, before writing it off. "Given… what's happened, I realized that I have…" He pauses, giving you time to notice his crumpled business clothes, and a few grey strands (dull and flat, as opposed to the gleaming silver you and Mom share) in his short black hair that you don't remember being there before. His voice is low and quiet as always, but something about it is heavier, more exhausted, than you have ever heard it before, and his blue eyes are dull and downcast. Your soul aches at the sight. "We have not spent as much time together as a family as I would wish for in recent years, and that is largely my fault."
Your brother slumps back down onto his futon, nodding mutely.
"I still need to decide exactly how to balance my responsibilities at work with spending more time at home, and I have been… considering something, since even before last week. It isn't usually done, and I do not know what may come of this, but I may end up requesting a demotion back to my old position." You gasp, unheard. You half-remember many dinner discussions from several years ago; he had worked long and hard for his current promotion in the first place, and mixed feelings roil within you at this new admission. Kichirou looks just as shocked as you feel, but father merely gives a wry grin in response. "I don't care if that impacts my reputation in the company; I want to prioritize the important things in my life, like your mother, and you. While I still have them."
You slump back into the corner, sinking down until your chin rests on your knees. The morose mood is suffocating, too thick to even cut.
But finally, he cracks another, more genuine smile. "But all of that is long-term business. For the short term, what we can do is take a weekend vacation. Just the fo-er, three of us. You, me, and your mother, to get out of the city for a bit and get our heads on straight. We also still need to figure out whether to take condolence leave with our workplaces and your school, but for now, this is the plan."
Kichirou's eyes flicker toward your corner, but he quickly focuses back on his guest. "...What if I want to stay?" Father seems confused by his reluctance; you have no idea how to feel about any of this at all. "This just seems like pretty short notice, is all."
Your father sighs. "It is, but we didn't settle on this sooner, and I did not want to give you false expectations before we decided one way or another. I
am sorry for springing this on you, but I really do think this will be good for us all."
Kichirou shrugs reluctantly, looking troubled. "I guess. Then in that case… What time are we leaving?"
"Before noon, if all goes well. We will all have to spend the morning packing, but I want to be on the highway before the lunch rush, so we can arrive in the mid-afternoon. We can spend tomorrow evening and most of Sunday sight-seeing or just relaxing, before driving back that night." Standing back up, Naruhito claps his hands once. "So if you want enough time to get your things together, bedtime should be soon. I know your teachers have assigned light homework, you can take care of that in the car tomorrow. Whatever else you are doing right now, should be finished shortly."
"Alright, alright, you got it,
Otoh-san." Kichirou grumbles in annoyed resignation. You can't help but crack a small grin at the familiar tone, grateful for the levity. You are suddenly very glad that you didn't push off talking to him until later.
The two of them briefly hug, before your father heads back to the door. Before leaving, he turns back one last time. "I hope you know that I love you. Both of us do." With your brother standing almost between you and him, you can almost imagine that he's looking your way, that you're being addressed as well. He shuts the door behind him, Kichirou locks it again, and the room blurs with tears.
~~~ .oO◯Oo. ~~~
It takes a full ten minutes for you to finally pull yourself together again and retransform, startling your brother with the sudden flash of purple light. You wordlessly make your way back across the room and not so much hug him as drape yourself over him, and he seems to understand why, quietly, literally supporting your limp figure as you let out lingering sniffles and tears.
Once your frigid contact becomes too much, he taps your arm, and you shuffle back to the chair to fall into it. Unlike the unexpected frost you left for your father, there is a warmth in the cushions left over for you, and you take comfort in it before it is soon overpowered by your deathly cold again. There is probably a metaphor in that, though you swiftly reject following that thought any further.
For his part, Kichirou busies himself with digging around in his closet, presumably for the small rolling travel suitcase buried somewhere very deep within. You notice him taking occasional glances back at you, though, and you're not sure whether he's checking on you, or checking to make sure you're still there at all. Most likely both. He doesn't say anything, and neither do you, the silence stretching wide and heavy. It feels like a dense cloud has rolled into the room, simply looming over you both without breaking into rain.
Finally finding a handle and hauling his suitcase from beneath a big pile of assorted junk, Kichirou speaks up at last. "Will you tell them too?"
You slump down further. "I…" You don't know. You hadn't even thought of it too much, and if you're perfectly honest with yourself, have been trying your hardest to think about everything
but that as long as you could. Even the thought of whether to approach your brother hadn't quite crossed your mind until seeing him at the bookstore, and instinct took over then. You're glad for what's come of it, but somehow your parents feel like a different thing entirely to worry about. It's awful to see them hurting like this, but… you don't want to hurt them even more, either.
Indistinct thoughts and possibilities you can't quite put the right words to spin endlessly in your head, and in the end you just pull your knees up to bury your face in them. The thick white leather and black laces of your long boots feel weird against your forehead, reminding you of your transformation, and the whole other set of reasons to hesitate. And still yet, you miss them both so much it
aches.
Kichirou speaks up again, sounding a little impatient now. "If you want to go tell them right now, I'll be here with you. Otherwise, it's two, probably three whole days before you get another chance. I get you had your reasons for waiting to tell me, but this past week was… it felt like nearly six years, not six days."
You lift your head just slightly, enough to peer over the tops of your knees at him with a frown. "I'm sorry," you mumble, "for all of… that. I just… but I don't…" You sigh. The right words refuse to come together, a blizzard raging inside of you with flurries of half-formed feelings swirling every which way. Closing your eyes again, it occurs to you that perhaps instead of trying to understand them
all at once, you just need to find
one to follow.
What Do You Want?
> To Tell Them Now (You're already a mess and even more unprepared than with Kichirou, but maybe you really should just rip off the bandaid while the opportunity is here. Making them wait could be too much. Whatever it was you promised to Death can wait another night.)
> To Wait Until Later (Maybe telling Kichirou sooner was good for him, but you don't know that the same will apply to your parents. Let them have their vacation to figure things out, and hopefully buy yourself the time to be better-prepared as well, and then try to find a good opportunity once they've come back. Kichirou will have to survive the weekend without saying what he knows, but you won't make him wait too much longer than that. In the meantime, you have a corrupted spirit to defeat.)
> Not To Tell Them At All (There's a part of you that worries that no matter the timing, revealing yourself to them would do more harm than good. They might not even believe you, and even if they do, you won't be coming back to life. They already lost you; it would be too cruel not to let them grieve properly. And with your new duties, you can't guarantee against them losing you all over again if something goes wrong.)
> To Abstain From Deciding (You still don't know what you want, but what you do know is that you've already committed to work with Death, and you don't intend to break that promise on the first real job she's given. You're not in a good state to be making big decisions about your parents right now; it's better to bury yourself in your work and come back to this when you've had more time to think. This may be kicking the problem down the road, perhaps, but despite feeling annoyed with yourself, you see no good point in breaking tonight's apparent streak.)
