"I dig my hole you build a wall
I dig my hole you build a wall
One day that wall is gonna fall"
I loved Bastion. Good shit.
"Good news, people!" you yelled. "I got shit to sell!"
Eight sets of eyes turned to you, and one nose in lieu of eyes from Homer behind the counter.
"Behold, new wand!" you yelled, grinning as you held it out. "Anyone got an opening bid?"
And here. We. Go.
Trompdoy and Eowyn both shrugged. "We can do you… uh… not that much." Eowyn said, sighing. "Around six pallets of Alchemist supplies? There's been not a lot of activity lately, and we found more signs of that coven of witches, so this last week's been mostly detective work."
Not terribly surprising bid by them. They never were particularly flush with valuable materials.
Calypso glared at you. "I'm already in debt, so no. Fuck off."
Harsh, but not entirely uncalled for.
Mistletoe wiped the drool out of her mouth. "Umm… I have some scrap I picked up out of a summoning circle, and a few artifact-things? Nothing great, but it exists?"
Someone likes the view?
"Twenty kilos of 24-karat gold." The girl in red said. "Also, I'm Tanner. Nice to meet'cha."
Jesus fucking christ.
Twenty kilograms of gold. I... just... bloody hell. I have no idea what to say. Current market rate for gold is over 50k USD per kilogram of gold. This is literally a million dollars of gold. What the actual
fuck!
Rose winced. "Bidding's too rich for my taste. Call me in when something cheaper comes up."
No shit Rose. I don't blame you.
"Thirteen Familiar Chimera corpses, two pints of dragon's blood, six non-Euclidian skulls, twenty pounds of enchanted cinnabar," Lappin said with a waver. "and my services for two weeks. For anything."
"Anything?" you asked, eyes lighting up.
"Anything." She said, shivering a little. "Absolutely anything."
"Great!" you said, smiling. "You can do the morning collections and water distribution. If I sell to you, we can go over your routines later, and you'll start on Sunday."
The three strangers let their mouths fall open. Looking at them, Calypso sighed in the most deadpan voice possible.
"You get used to it."
Hah! Medicine Boy subverting expectations once again.
Behind you, a magical girl barged through your lobby, turned at the junction, and came screaming up behind you in an ill-fitting school uniform covered with stains and a size too small. "Sorry I'm late!" she yelled, before tripping on the shitty hall carpet and faceplanting into the ground at your feet. "I'm Elise."
Picking her almost skeletal form upright and taking her inside, you plopped her at the table and clicked your fingers twice, than three times- food, now, please.
Good boy Goodyear. She looks like she needs it.
"I heard from my cat you were selling a wand. I have a '67 Camero I can offer in trade, and a shipping container full to the brim of Warsaw Pact military equipment."
Oh a car? Useful... wait. Um. What?
The girls stared at her, and Elise stared back. "What? You guys act surprised."
"Where the fuck did you get that! When did you get that?" Tanner asked, almost yelling.
Pretty much my thoughts.
"Ukraine, in '89, and I'm not obligated to tell you anything else." Elise said, smirking. "God, I miss working with Henrietta."
She got it in the midst of the USSR collapsing into its member states? Holy shit. She's actually middle age at a minimum.
