Magical Girl Home Base Quest

Week 6: Now with 200% more fire where it should and should not be
(AN: This update contains graphic description of medical procedures in the second portion. Viewer discretion is advised)



Sitting in your workshop, you held the cursed blade out at arm's length. Long, meant to take two hale hands to hold, and decorated with a golden hilt and rune carvings on the blade, you felt the power of the curses strike up and down the weapon. This was no mere mortal creation of your own typology, but rather some immortal tool that had been crafted in ages long past where Man had not walked first among the sentient races of the earth. The maeldictum were wrought deep into it's construction, harbringers of evil deeds and horrifying wroth etched into the fuller as deep as the core of the metal itself. A casual scan had horrified you, for each time the weapon was drawn, it was sworn to kill a man before being sheathed again. The fact Eowyn had handed it to you, gold-and-laquere sheath ready to accept the blade, had not been missed by your sense of the power for the weapon. Worse still were the great evil deeds buried deep in the soul of the creation. Kings- many kings- had died on this blade as betrayal forced the hand of those they loved. Goths and Huns had slain each other as they dueled over the fates this blade had warped as it tore through the stream of history.

Now, it sat on your workshop table, emminating evil. Thrice, you would need to break the curses of it before it could be issued. How? Fuck if you knew. Leaning back as you set it down, you heard a mutter coming from the hall behind your workshop.

"Are we really having Sevenfingers help move me in?"

Mistletoe, it had to be. Sofia was too loaded of a name for her now.

"Yes, we're having Medicine Boy help move you in." Calypso said, sighing. "Honestly, I don't know why you're so cold towards him."

"He's charging you an arm and a leg for your amulet! You need that- it's what saved your ass last night!"

Calypso sighed, slumping against the wall. "Sofia. He's running this dump, managing Homer's dumb ass, and still churning out equipment for us at a remarkable rate. More importantly, Medicine Boy isn't just a name, it's a fucking title. Trompdoy got shot to shit three weeks ago, and he managed to get her back online in time for the raid of that hideout! We need that!"

"I didn't have any problems-"

"Because you never had the time to get them!" Calypso yelled. "I've talked to Rose about it enough to know. You think you're doing fine. You're good. It's all going good. Then you take one hit too many, one bruise you can't explain, get locked down. Get ambushed going to school or at work- because they don't care. A swarm of ghouls tries to get you in public, or a vampire hits you from behind. Nobody can protect you anymore, so you try hiding. It doesn't work."

As touching as the conversation was, you had the Shit to Do list and it wasn't quite done yet. "Calypso!" you yelled, digging into a desk drawer quickly for a bottle of mineral oil.

It wasn't long before she was in your workshop, marveling at the gigantic, towering piles of assorted shit you'd been using as ingredients. Tossing her the bottle, you smirked.

"For your trinket, in case it sticks. Also, I need you to sort those neurodes you brought in."

Walking past her as you moved to leave, you leaned in close. "And thanks for taking care of Mistletoe."

"She doesn't like her room much." Calypso replied, leaning in close enough for her lips to brush your ear. "She hasn't cracked yet. If we're lucky, she never will."

Walking out past her, you moved through the corridor like you owned the place because you did own the place and promptly got to your lobby to see a pair of magical girls there sitting in seiza next to a small bottle of something and a well-contained barrel fire.

"Ey!" you yelled, moving forwards angrily. "Not in my fucking lobby!"

"Sorry!" the girls yelled, while you just got a good stout walking stick to hook around the barrel. While they showered you in apologies, you just made sure your building wouldn't burn down.

"Who are you, anyway?" you asked, squinting.

"I, uh, I'm Rose." One of them said. "We met a few weeks ago? I came because I heard about the raid and you might have an item handy for sale?"

"I'm Lappin." The other said, trying to smile and failing. "I just wanted lunch someplace safe."

You nodded. "Well, c'mon in then. It been getting bad out there?"

"More Witches in town, and there's a big one who set up in the forests north of the train line." Lappin said, shivering. "I'm not a city girl, and it's been really bad. I even took a strike team in, but we couldn't do anything."

Squinting, you looked at her. "The train yard's in Midtown, though. What forest north of it?"

"I have no idea." Lappin said, sighing. Leading her to the kitchen and serving up some porridge with bacon, you watched her intently. "All I know is we went into the Moody Woods, hit the Bounded Field of the Witch, and ran like hell. Headed south about three miles and hit the city, quarter mile after that was the trainyard. That's when I found Rose, and-"

"Damnit." You muttered. "Was the trainyard still full of Alchemists?"

"No. Saw signs of a fight, but no Alchemists."

Nodding again, you got your own lunch from the communal pot and everything was silence for a while. Sweet, blissful silence.

"GANGWAY THE HATCHES!" Homer yelled as an explosion rolled out of the Library. "SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"

Dashing out with a fuck on your lips, you watched as a blast of arcane energy threw Homer out of the Library and right on to you as a scroll sat on the plinth inside on fire. Not normal fire, no, this was fucking magical fire, and if your nose was right on the money this was ethereal fire too. Good shit, strong shit, but god damnit Homer!

Gently and firmly picking Homer up by the scruff of his neck, you kindly and politely threw him into a chair to think about what he'd done and get over any arcane energy induced migranes while you dealt with the ethereal fire he'd lit. Once the initial explosion had blasted the shit out of him and therefore done the magical equivalent of throwing a breaker, the scroll of A4 paper had died down to the sort of dull roar you were used to from your furnace.

Wait. You had magically enchanted forever burning paper, and a furnace that always ate heat like a motherfucker.

"Homer!" you yelled, grinning.

"No' now, boss, nearly got it." Homer muttered, punch-drunk from the fact he'd probably lit himself up like a Christmas tree from that stunt. "Soon we can cast Fireball. They'll nae be stoppen us nau."

"Homer, do you think you could do this to a brick?"

"Aye, ah can make tha' brick burn with the ligh' o a sun!" Homer said, grabbing a red solo cup of Flavor-Aide™ and raising it high above his head. "Just as soon as I visit me wee lassie, an' get to… an get too… er, wot came af'er that again?"

You shrugged, Homer shrugged, and the glass spilled and coated him in red goop. It was gonna be one of those days.



-/-/-/-/

Looking at you behind the service counter you'd set up in the lobby, Eowyn handed you a grocery bag full of silvicane, bandages, and clean shop rags.

"I got the stuff." she said, flatly. "Trompdoy's been feeling pretty bad, though. Not sleeping well, and she's starting to smell terrible. That burn wasn't that bad- she should have pulled some healing by now!"

Rifling through the pack, you nodded mildly and grabbed a milk jug of watered-down Gatorade. "The heal time of a burn scales with the affected surface area. A full quarter of her body is gonna eat up time, especially with my slapdash treatment."

Knocking on Trompdoy's door, you heard a muttered 'come in' prompting your entry. Sniffing the air, you sighed quietly. No smell of infection, thank God, but there was a thick reek of bodily odor and a slight smell of raw flesh. Much less good, that. Bundling in, you put the supplies down, before heading back out to get a few five gallon buckets. Filling one with warm water from the shower- prompting a sudden dip in temperature and some mild swearing from Mistletoe and Calypso inside- you went back to Trompdoy's room to get to work.

The first and most important thing to do was to get her clean. As much as you claimed to be a shitty medic, the fact was you spent enough time in the vet clinic so that you could work around most animals. As far as you were concerned, a mammal was a mammal as long as you weren't proscribing medicine. After that, you could start piling on the silver sulfide cream, and covering the burns with teflon-backed bandages so they didn't stick and rip up the new skin forming underneath when you changed them. The extra ten bucks a box would be worth it.

"Tompdoy," you said carefully to the young woman. "How are you doing?"

"T-t-terible." she muttered, spasming a little. "I itched it this morning, and now it's like I'm on fire again. My hands hurt more than they help."

Wincing at the smell, you nodded and pulled out a medical kit you'd been putting together. Tapping out two Benadryl, you handed them over with the jug of Gatorade and beckoned for her to drink.

"The pills should keep the itch down by targeting the histamine reaction." you recited by rote. "Take three after breakfast and one every ninety minutes after until you hit eight pills in a day; then only take them if it starts getting bad. You'll probably fly over the daily limit, but as long as you're not going through the bottle in a week it probably won't turn your liver into swiss cheese."

"Not three to start today?"

You shrugged. "If a lower dose will work, we'll take it. Now take off your shirt."

Eowyn and Trompdoy looked at you like you'd grown a second head. "What."

Holding up one of the shop rags, you sighed. "I can smell the BO from here, and I know a few tricks for washing a bad burn. Now, hoody off."

Eowyn held up a finger, opened her mouth, jiggled her hand around as she thought, and withdrew her objection silently as Trompdoy started to blush.

"I'm not wearing anything under this." she said, staring. "I'm not going to let you get a free look!"

"I'm not fishing for tits, I'm here to make sure you get better in a reasonable timeframe." you replied stiffly. "Besides, if I wanted to get an eyeful, I'd still run the shower instead of making, y'know, the blind guy do it."

"Um, er, well…" Trompdoy replied uncomfortably.

Sighing, you sat on an overturned and empty bucket, deliberately facing away from them. "I'm waiting here."

"I put this on the day after, and well, I can't get it off." Trompdoy said to your back. "If I try, my shoulder crinkles and it hurts, and then I lean forward and my back goes off and then I'm itching and crawling and trying not to yell for a few hours."

You nodded, before turning to face Trompdoy sitting back to you. "I'll have to cut it off, then."

"Okay."

Pulling out your pocketknife, you got to work. The shirt- because it was a shirt, even if it was made of super thick cotton like a hoody- would need to come off wholesale, and since it was Trompdoy's left side that got burned, you decided to work on the right. A little gentle sawing got the collar cut, and then it was fairly easy to work your way down to the bottom hem. A little more sawing, and you could start taking the shirt off.

"Ah! Ow, ow ow oh god it hurts ow!" Trompdoy yelled as you worked the shirt off her, skin crinkling as you swore. Burns oozed, and a lot of the time layers of skin would flake up and off under the burn as things frantically tried to heal. Combine dead skin still attached to live skin at some point and bodily fluid serving as a binder, and you were literally tearing out layers of dead skin by pulling her shirt off.

"Shh, shh, it's ok." you muttered, working the sleeve off as gently as you could. There were only three major areas of third-degree burns, and your early scrub-out looked like they got everything, thank God. Trying to go in with steel wool to get dead flesh out before it potentially turned necrotic had already driven you into drinking your ritual alcohol once, and doing that again would be bad. "Let's get you washed up."

You'd call this a sponge bath, except there wasn't really a sponge. Putting a bucket for Trompdoy to sit on in a tarp basin that led to the room's drain, you started dampening up the shop rags, then coating them gently in soapy water and laying them on the burns. With the nerves so close to the surface, sensation could be strained at best, and sensitive at worse in areas it wasn't gone totally.

"Hothothothothothot" Trompdoy muttered, prompting you to splash more cool water into the rinse bucket. Once her burns were covered, with all of her left arm, side, and a good bit of the front and back of her torso done, you handed Eowyn another soapy rag.

"Well I'm not washing all of her." you stated flatly. "I'm a guy."

"Yeah, I know." she replied, shooting you a stinkeye. "Why do you think I insisted on being here while you did this?"

While Eowyn handled bathing the 3/4 of Trompdoy that wasn't hideously burned, you focused on the bits that were. Friction, of any sort, would be bad, but you did need a little mechanical action to get things moved around, Light pressure- almost nonexistent, just the weight of your hand- was enough, though, and soon enough you could slowly rinse the rags, and through them Trompdoy. One cup of lukewarm water at a time, you worked your way across her side, while your bare feet were covered in the filthy water that slowly worked its way towards the drain.

"So this next part's gonna be interesting." you said, grabbing a beach towel. Wrapping it around your quarter of Trompdoy, you started pat-drying her, while a few non-wet shop rags got used on the rest until you handed Eowyn the towel and worked a rag around the hand and armpit. Once that was done came the medication.

"Feeling better?" Eowyn asked, curious.

Trompdoy tried to smile, before she shivered a little. "Some. I don't smell now, at least."

"That's good." her partner said, while you just smeared the silvidine on a long bandage. Stepping up behind Trompdoy, you explained what you were doing carefully while you got the tape ready.

"So, what I'm going to do is put the burn cream on these bandage pads, and then we're gonna tape 'em down." you said, before gently squishing the affair on. You were starting right on top of her shoulder, and the next pad covered in white goo went closer to her neck, letting you tape the two together and the undamaged skin on the right of her collar. "We're gonna change these every day until you start getting better, and you're getting a bath every day."

"Every day?" Trompdoy asked as you started work on her front. "I thought we only got showers on Wednesday?"

"One, there's enough of y'all that I'm changing that to Tuesday-Thursday because I'm not putting up with BO in my dining room; and two, this is medical. I never skimp on medical."

"Even if it means telling me to rob a pharmacy." Eowyn added unflatteringly.

Trompdoy chuckled a little, making you overlap a bandage by an annoying amount. "I see."

"Yeah." you muttered, glad that the burn stopped above her hip in the front. If you got much lower, the tape arrangements would need to become delicate at best. Next would be the armpit, and wasn't that a job and a half to make work. It took four cuts in a bandage to make it flex well enough, but you could work on the arm after that. "Eowyn, can you handle the baths?"

"I think I can handle them, yeah." the Rider said, chuckling. "She'll owe me one, but it won't be too bad."

"Good, because I got shit to do." you muttered. "As much as I love you two and your consistency in paying rent, it's been nearly twenty minutes of bandage jigsaw here and my hands are getting tired."

"Aw, is the widdle medic getting tired?"

You resisted the urge to yawn, and taped another bandage into place. "First off, last night I had to go yell at Homer for trying to use the Library after curfew because his arcane draw kept waking me up. Second off, yes."

The girls chuckled at you, but you kept at it until the job was done and you could throw a blanket around Trompdoy. Now you could finally go take a damn nap in peace and quiet.

-/-/-/-/

It was Friday before you could finally really get to work on your workshop. The ever-burning materials that Homer had been making had finally gotten formulas laid out, so you could use them in controlled applications instead of just sticking them in old glass jelly jars and putting them in the lobby so you could save on electricity. As your repeat work on Trompdoy and the other girls had shown, though, you needed a way to get the girls enhanced medical care at the drop of the proverbial hat. This in turn meant magical curatives. Being neither pharmacist nor alchemist nor chemically inclined outside the power of our lord and savior nitrogen reactions, you needed to fall back on some hoodoo to get that done.

The end result, once you badgered Calypso into making a Harbor Freight run to get you an anvil, was going to be deferred while you rebuilt your furnace. Originally designed much like a pottery kiln, you came to the sudden and upright realization that you really couldn't actually do a lot with your setup. Sure, you could transmute a piece from it's thaumaturgical base ingredients into a finished project, but after that you were mildly limited. The most annoying part was you could only get one or two bags of cement at a time, since that was the number of girls you had handy and let's face it, most of them were under sixteen and hauling a hundred pound bag of concrete was no small job.

Your new setup was going to be much more efficient, though. With a pair of vacuum cleaner blowers serving as both an upstream pressure source and as a downstream vacuum source (after running the furnace exhaust through an intercooler vessel so you had hot water) cast into the system from the get-go, the new system had a much better forced draft array. Equally importantly, you also shelled out for some plaster-of-paris, which made great ghetto refractory cement so you could be sure the actual cast-in-place ferrocrete parts didn't suffer thermal decomposition.

Yes, it still counted as ferrocrete if you used chickenwire mesh as the reinforcing structure. Honestly, mundane construction made about as much sense as your magical works sometimes.

Once the furnace layer was done, the next step was to build your forge and new ovens. By drawing heat off the lower furnace by way of being directly over it, you could now simultaneously 'cook' a part for later use while building something else, as well as perform magically enhanced hot joinery in your construction. The exhaust and force draft system were different, naturally, but that was a plus in your book. With that all done, you decided to test the system.

To start it, you shoveled in the eternally burning project rejects, some assorted busted-up furnature from the cleanout, and shut the furnace door tight. Then came the pressure fan, whirring up and getting it to all ignite. Good! You could feel the arcane pull, and then you hit up the vacuum fan to really get her going. As the built in thermometer started ticking up higher, you smiled and opened the door to shove in more shit to burn. The new, heavy construction would take about thirty minutes to get up to operating temperatures, but could stay that way for hours. In the meantime, the forge.

This, you couldn't just burn shit in. You needed to use strong material here, since it would intermingle with your work. Thus, a bag of charcoal- not Kingsford, since the fuckers put coal dust in and that would add sulfur you'd need to cook out later- later and you had a lit forge. From there, you pulled out three pieces of rebar, a five pound hammer, and got to work.

The problem, you mused as the hammer strikes rung, was that the eternal flame enchantment as applied to bricks was a slow, low burn; it took one paving stone nearly an hour to boil a gallon of uncovered water. Great for cooking, not so great for crafting. You could work with that, though, since some testing told you that arcane fire tended to make arcane contamination. That, in turn, meant it could enrich materials passively, without your direct influence. Considering the hardest part of making potions or bombs was the enrichment stage?

Yeah, time to get to work building an enrichment stand. As you threw flux into the work, your grin went from ear to ear while your hands slowly started to ache. Controlling a hammer with three fingers was hard; controlling the work with four was harder. Opening a furnace chamber when you figured the first stage was done, you slotted the unfinished three-prong stand while you started wrapping two-liter bottles in tin foil and flux. You managed to fit six of them in the other oven bay- since you now had three, wonder of wonders- and finally pulled out the semifinished stand.

Your new arcane forge had a sense of humor as leaf-tree designs wrapped and twinned around the design, the imperfections of your forge-work melted away into a naturalistic aesthetic. Taking the three hockey-puck sized burners you'd had Homer build earlier and slotting them in, you placed the entire array over the failed heating tile and slotted it all back in to allow the parts to integrate. Meanwhile, pulling out your potion bottles, the plastic had cooked out to get you several… one?... ish liter bottles, which would fit perfectly in your rack once you were done with it.

It was also worth mentioning it no longer felt like you were trying to steer a U-haul truck down I-75 that hadn't been serviced since the Regan administration when doing arcane work, so big plus there! When the potion rack was done, you pulled it out and grinned. This. This was what success looked like, as you filled three bottles up with warm water and let them start percolating.

You now had… free time. That was an odd feeling. Heading to your little-used rec room, you heard a slight cough. Inside, Mistletoe was curled up in one of the beanbag chairs, curled up around a landline you'd hacked in some time ago. God only knew why you'd done it, but it existed and worked.

"Yeah." She muttered. "I just don't know, Chris. I mean, it's a dump, but it's a dump with good people. I keep getting lucky, you know?"

A wah-wah sound came out the other end you couldn't decipher.

"Calypso got out fine. I'm just worried, alright? I know you want in, but it's not worth it. The monkey's paw closes and you get trapped."

More wah-wah.

"No, I didn't! It's just- well, you know! Dad didn't take it well, alright? There was a fight."

Angry wah-wah noises as you slipped in. Mistletoe nearly dropped the phone, before she glared at you and sighed.

"When your dad's a homophobic asshole who thinks you're an abomination against God, yeah. I felt my power there, Chris. I could have put him down like a dog."

You tried not to wince, but you couldn't hide it.

"If he tried to hit me? I would have."

Now the muttering coming out the other end of the headset took on a darker tone.

"Yeah, I know. I love you too. Goodnight, babe."

There was a solid ten minutes as you looked at each other out of the corner of your eyes, before you finally broke the silence by getting a deck of cards. Shuffling it, you looked at Sofia, and sighed.

"So when I got in here initially, I was gonna talk about rent, but after overhearing the end of that I'd rather not." You said cleanly.

"Yeah, I know." Sofia replied, face pinched. "Can I pay weekly?"

You nodded, and she set a mess of bills on the floor before pushing them to you. A hundred bucks, a fat stack of yen, and a mess of pesos. Not too esoteric this time at least.

"You're good." You replied, nodding. Sorting it amnicably and sticking it in your pocket, you looked up as Sofia coughed.

"Do you care?" she asked.

"About the money? Nah." You said, shrugging. "Honestly I'm happy these are all of denominations still in print, and not like a mess of francs again."

"I mean about me being a lesbian."

Sighing, you put your head in a hand. "It's… I don't have an opinion on it? Is that the right way to say it? It doesn't affect me, and I have a dozen other fish to fry. As long as I can sleep at night and the other girls aren't saying you're making problems, I can't really complain."

"Thanks." Sofia muttered. "Well, it's as good as I'll get. If Chris comes-"

"Names!" you interrupted, snapping out. "God's wounds, do you want a Witch to learn that? Their hexes could kill her!"

Sofia recoiled a bit, and shuddered. "I mean… er… Ferra?"

"Better." You groused.

"Ferra's not in a good place." Sofia said, wincing. "Her family is divorcing, and both sides aren't well off. She needs to scram before the state takes her in."

"I'll talk to Homer, probably get him to spruce up a room." You said, sighing. "I need to make something next week, so that'll keep the Library out of commission, and we've still got some time before we need to improve the kitchen again… probably gonna need more help around here at some point… ugh."

"Math?"

"Worse." You groused. "Logistics."

You both shared a threadbare smile, before you grabbed a notebook and started sketching out tables. Things were going to get hectic soon.

/-/-/-/-/-
Votes

Build a Tool
[] Trinket
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 3.
[] Wand
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] Bomb
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] No, you want to work on your building instead
[] No, you want to improve your workshop instead.
[] No, you want to research an item instead.

Tool Effects:
Potion Stand I: Will automatically build 3x Tier I Bombs per action spent crafting or triple production of higher tier bombs.
Forge: Allows you to forge, increasing the number of other tools you can construct.
Arcane Furnace II: Allows you to work on up to three components to a project simultaneously. Upgrades Workshop Level by 1.

 
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Week 7: Absurd luck reaps sown plans with great alacrity


Picking up the blade in your workshop, you carefully sounded it out with your power. Still hellishly cursed, still liable to try and kill anyone who came into your workshop, still legally able to be lain in sheathe if you needed to. Three curses, each worse than the last lain in it. First, to cause thrice works of great evil and doom among Man. Second, to cause death every time drawn, to the point of madness. Third, to kill the wielder.

No pressure here, none at all. Laying it out on a table, you pulled out the butcher paper, and started drawing. If you analyzed the sword like a wand, then the metal itself was the rod of the tool, while the three curses were core, focus, and binder. The first step, then, would be to unfasten the binder.

The issue was, what was the physical manifestation of the binding? The blade itself was the core, while the ever-sharp and blood-seeking edge was the focus, and the physical metal was the rod. Something that tied it all together- the handle, perhaps? It was worth a shot, and to start you wrapped the blade in a cloth and put it in your vice. You'd need heat to get the golden hilt off, which would in turn call for a tool. Just… urg. You had this furnace here, but this damn sword was throwing off the sort of rage and horror you weren't willing to possibly taint it by using this. A small barrel fire? No, that wouldn't work. Checking a clock, you noted it was nearly ten at night, so you tabled the project for tomorrow morning.

As you awoke, you remembered that the girls mostly did their work at night, where you couldn't see it. Why did you need to remember this?

"AHHH! Anyone, help! They've kidnaped-"

A sharp thud came from the lobby, and you just pulled on your pants sadly. Was this going to be a mess? Survey said yes, but the sound of gunshots going off outside as some cop raided a crack house a few blocks down meant it would be an easily disguised mess. When you reached the commotion, you had to stare at the audacity of it- a chained-up Alchemist in a battered wooly greatcoat that was completely out of season, unwashed green hair, and her nightclothes. A handful of socks served as a new gag, and a faint haze over her eyes showed Trompdoy's influence as the cackling Magical Girl let her mind wander.

"Hey, Medicine Boy! We got you a present!" Eowyn called out raucously. Walking up to her, she presented you with a leather belt, holster, and inside some plastic pistol you didn't recognize. "It came with a free Alchemist attached even!"

Your stare could pierce the heavens. "Why. Literally why."

"Well, we figured you'd appreciate a way to defend the motel…"

"I'm not talking about this-" you said, punctuating it with a wave of the gun belt, "-but rather her."

"You are breaking a curse designed to kill people, Medicine Boy." Trompdoy said, smirking. "We just brought you an emergency sword-sheathing component if something goes wrong."

You raised your nonexistent index finger, fluttered your hand around, and dropped it.

"Put her in the workshop and chain her to a chair or something." You finally sighed. "Presumably, she'll know something about making cursed items, and we can use her to help reverse-engineer this."

"Or kill her?"

Putting your head in your hands, you groaned. "Can we try not to kill people please? It's bad for business and I can't get rid of a corpse."

"Fair enough."

While you got to work making breakfast and Homer got told the Library was Off Limits due to delicate thaumaturgy happening, the Alchemist was transported to your workshop. As much as you dreaded going in, eventually you bit the bullet and opened the door.

Your first thought was that the girls were paranoid. The folding chair they'd used had been chained to a spare bag of concrete, the Alchemist's legs were hobbled, and her hands were locked up in front of her at the wrists and elbows. Worse, they'd thrice wrapped her neck in a chain and tied that to an eyebolt in a floor member for the next story up for when you inevitably needed a block and tackle. They hadn't even removed the gag! Pulling the mess of socks out, you stared at the Alchemist, daring her to open her mouth.

"So." You grumbled. "Have a name?"

It was a moment before she answered. "Scullery Apprentice."

"Really."

She tried to shrug. "I washed the glassware. My brother joined up, dragged me into it. I just did scutwork for them, the lessons never stuck. Sometimes tested a potion?"

You stared at her, practically smelling the falsehood coming off her. "Alright then." you said, grabbing a container of arcane water, and popping the top off. With your back turned to her, you poured in some vodka, a big squeeze of sweet almond extract, a pinch of cardomon, and for added measure you poured out a capful of bleach on to the table. Spinning it idly to mix the ingrediants, you felt an inkling of power whip around the bottle, before going inert at the incomplete mess in the bottle.

"Well then, drink this." You said, grinning maniacly. As the Alchemist smelled the bleach, her face paled a tad.

"Don't you need me alive?" she asked.

"Oh, this won't kill you." You said sweetly, uncorking the bottle and waving it under her nose. One thing not many people mentioned often? Arsenic smelled like sweet almonds, and you just so happened to have a can of rat poison on your desk.

"Are- are you nuts?" the girl yelled, trying to leap away from you on the chair. As she cleared the seat and got choked by the ceiling chain, you smirked. "That's got rat poison in it! You bastard, everyone knows to mask with bleach-"

Your smile was visible from orbit as you gave her the finger and slugged down half the mess. It tasted like shit, but all arcane potions did. "Want to retry your story?"

"…motherfucker." The Alchemist muttered. "Sweet almond?"

"If you didn't smell the bleach you'd have realized it sooner." You said, shrugging. "So I'm going to stick with the presumption you do in fact know what you're doing."

"In which case, fuck you, and yeah. I was part of Sustainment."

Laughing, you looked at the viced-up sword. "I don't suppose you have any hints on cursebreaking?"

"Boyo, I barely even know how we curse shit. Normally they just duplicate something from a master artifact, and presto there we go."

Nodding, you went over to your butcher paper and started scribbling. If it was a duplication, then copy errors would creep in. Going back over to the sword, you went back to thinking. If there were copy errors, they'd probably start cropping up first in minor systems and unrelated programs to the main design functionality.

Time to light the oven and the forge. Going over to the rebar, you quickly selected some short rods, and a few bracket plates to make a small, sword-sized cage. Wrapping it in tin foil liberally, you tossed it in Oven 1: this would become your safety liner for this job. Oven 2, meanwhile, would shortly be dedicated to cooking you a more esoteric gadget, as you got another chunk of the rebar stock and started making parallel loops of #4 wire. You needed a welder to make this really good, but some magical flux would work for the job. To work on this, you needed a sensor you could use while diagraming faults and errors- your diagnostic senses weren't fast enough. Likewise, you'd also need a diagram of elements to fuck around with to control your curse moderation and proliferation, but that could come in a minute. If everything came to plan, you'd stick the sword through the hoops, and oh! Indicator, right, something to indicate… eh, two strings of old-ass Christmas lights would work. Working them through, you blinked when the Alchemist started talking.

"I've never actually seen an Artificer work before." She said, shrugging. "It's intruiging, how you turn junk into tools."

"You ain't seen nothing yet, then." You grinned. Satisfied with your curse-ometer, you threw it in Oven 2 and got to work on the control array. A few planks, some chalked-out dials, and a hot chisel from your forge let you sear the sympathetic array into the boards, before you pinned in the dial needles and slung them in Oven 3.

Since these were diagnostic instruments, the arcane draw wasn't too bad, but when everything was done the rig looked about as shaky as it felt. The sensor held all lights blue for no item, green for no curse, orange for magic, and red for curse with the rest of the rainbow flickering around for reasons undetermined. The gauges on your not-quite-an-Ouija board barely synched up to the sensor, the sympathetic rune trying to code 'purple' as 'bottleneck' for some reason in determining magical flow, and it took nearly an hour to finish the oven cage.

"So walk me through this." The Alchemist said, sighing.

"It's simple." You said, rolling your hands. "I heat up the sword to get all the magic free-floating and disjointed, then I shove it in the sensor while I pick it apart."

"And how are you going to get at the magecraft inside it?"

"Probably an empathetic circle, and if that doesn't work I have detonite ampules and sulfuric acid."

"You mad bastard." The Alchemist said, grinning. "If this kills me, write 'Jocelyn' on my tombstone."

"Great." You grumbled. "Well, I'm gonna get lunch while this heats up."

"Can I get some water?"

"Sure."

Lunch was a quick affair, and true to your word you did bring back a jug of water. Once the sword was heated up through the oven protector, you then set up the cherry blocks in the sensor, and in went the sword. Right off the bat, it was screaming- evil, evil, evil; straight into the detectors. Once the hilt came off, though, and was put straight back in the oven shield to cook down, things started clearing up.

"Okay, so the board is diagnostic only." You muttered. "I'll have to change this manually. Hand me some chopsticks."

You should probably have been concerned that at some point Jocelyn had managed to ditch her hand and arm manacles, but the neck one held firm by dint of the fact you had rebuilt the lock.

"Chopsticks." She said, handing them over. Spitting on the ends, you reached in, feeling the heat of the sword as the curses resisted their undoing. The last curse had been undone, thankfully, but the madness was still in there going strong.

"I need toothpaste, a brush, and a beaker of arcane water."

A minute later the supplies were on the table next to you. Putting the toothpaste on the brush and swirling it in the charged water, you felt it pick up that slight metaphysical oomph you'd need, before sticking it in. If you did this right, you could polish the curse up, without working on the underlying magic.

"oh, fuck." You muttered as the ring went red, two went yellow, one went purple, and your chopstick got the shit blasted out of it. Moving back to the board, you worked the signal noise out, before you grinned.

"We get it?"

"We got the madness it looks like." You said, squinting. "Those evil deeds are in deep."

"Try a metal pick?"

"I need an insulator, not a conductor."

"A metal pick on a stick then."

"Then you lose the connectivity both ways, and it stops picking and starts probing!"

Joselyn blinked, and nodded. "Right, uh…"

"It needs to be sharp…"

Our thoughts hit the same point at the same time. "Glass!"

Rummaging through your drawers for a whiskey bottle, you chucked it in Oven 2 for a minute while you found a string and some vinegar. Once it was warm and in a pan, you put on some thermal gloves with the correct missing fingers and snapped the neck off cleanly, before subdividing the bottle in four. A few minutes of flintknapping later, and you had a workable knife that just needed a little handle duct tape.

Once that was done, you went back to work with a vigor, the glass sinking into the magical matrices of the sword as you pumped power into it. "steady, steady…"

"Readings are good…" Jocelyn muttered. "Still orange across the board… red on four."

"Red on four?" you groused. "I thought four was set?"

"I'm telling you what the board says. I think it's a conditional spool you knocked loose."

"Fuck this…" you muttered, getting a chopstick to poke ring four's spellwork with. As the tip of your probe entered, you gulped. That was a strong arcane pull.

"DUCK!" you yelled, as the sword exploded. As a piece creased your brow and Joselyn screamed, Homer came running in.

The next few minutes were blurry, but apparently the cursebreaking had worked, and blasted the intial enchantment a little too- thus the edges blowing out five fragments on your side and four on Joselyn's. With Homer and you doing first aid, nobody got too badly hurt, and the wand would take a little time in the shop on Friday to fix up for issue.

The real question was what to do with Joselyn, now the proud owner of at least three chunks of potentially cursed magical artifact buried in her thorax cavity. God, that would not be fun to deal with later- but today's work was done.



-/-/-/-/



"This is gonna be so good…" you muttered, salivating at the sight of the giant cardboard box in the lobby. You'd done a little bit of mail-order shopping out of Ye Olde IKEA catalog, and now the fruits of your labor were in front of you! A brand new armchair! It even had a pronounceable name: Muren. Now as you started unboxing and assembly, the girls around you stared.

"So it really is true." Trompdoy muttered from underneath a pair of blankets pinned together into a full cloak. "Men really are driven to have a recliner."

"It's almost hypnotizing." Eowyn added, smirking. "By the way, has anyone seen Calypso?"

"OH GOD THE SPIDERS!" you all heard from upstairs, followed by a thunk and the crystalline tones of magic.

"I'm sure she's fine, but maybe someone should check on her." Mistletoe said, sighing.

The three experienced magical girls looked at each other quickly, and yelled simultaneously the magic words. "Not it!"

Whatever. Your recliner was complete, and it didn't take long for you to curl up in it, sighing happily. This felt good. This felt really good. Reaching down to pet the cat on your lap, you sighed happily as Mistletoe screamed and the sound of a frying pan hitting a floor joist echoed out through the hotel. As the sounds of a Three Stooges routine went off upstairs, you started dozing lightly.

When you woke up, three magical girls were sitting around an electric kettle on foam knee pads trying and failing to sit in seiza next to one young woman wearing a kimono with a… uh, Japanese glaive… nagantina? Naginata? Something like that, anyway.

"When do you think Sevenfingers will get up?" one of them asked, before Rose looked at her and sighed. You could tell it was Rose, since she had both the titular flowers in her hair and the slightly annoyed sigh that one of her minions was saying a dumb.

"Probably after Elise shows up." Rose said, grumbling. "I go to the trouble to drag you guys here, and you know she's always late.

The cat on your chest meowed and batted at your nose, forcing you from 'kind of awake ish' to 'all stations go' as you got up out of your recliner and sighed.

"I'm Medicine Boy." You announced, looking at them. "Y'all need something?"

"Just a handshake." The one in the kimono said, smiling slightly. "You can call me Kaguya."

The cat meowed again, looking like it was going to pounce on her. Moving quickly, you grabbed it by the back of the neck just as it was about to go for her, and squinted. "No. Bad kitty." You explained, before taking Kaguya's hand. Those were delicate hands, yes, but the calluses in them felt earned and earned well.

"Eto… hanabi?" Kaguya muttered, before nodding to herself. "Thank you, Medicine Boy. I will treasure this."

Your eyes narrowed. "Something to do with your ability, I take?"

A slight smile was your reward, before she grinned. "Would you like a demonstration?"

"I wouldn't mind, no."

Walking out into the parking lot outside your lobby doors, Kaguya yawned lazily, before drawing her naginata and spinning it carefully. Two twirls, a low circle spin around herself, and then a pair of upward and downward slashes before she leaped forward into thin air and right out of the same next to you.

"Personal teleportation to a person? Quite impressive."

Kaguya smiled slightly. "I knew Rose from a mutual entanglement which is how I got to America; things over here seem to be much more hectic than at home."

"I can believe it." You nodded politely. "In any case, do you need my services?"

"At present moment, no." Kaguya replied calmly. "However, your title is well-deserved after I met Trompdoy, and there are few who are comfortable working on someone like us. Dr. Ono has a waiting list several months long, and as like as not I am one of the few in my area who can transport a critical case quickly."

You blinked appreciatively. "In which case, I'd offer you a room if any were free right now."

"I must decline. My apprentices, as wayward as they may be," and here a piercing glare met the rest of the girls gathered around the electric kettle, "have graciously arranged to provide reasonable housing until such time as my obligations here are fuffilled."

"Better than my hostel?" you asked, morbidly curious.

"No."

Well that answered that, and you nodded peacefully while the girls behind her tried not to run away screaming from Kaguya's aura.

"In any case, you have free reign of my lobby at present moment." You said kindly. "If you need anything, please, don't be afraid to ask."

"Got any gear yet?" one of the girls asked in badly accented English.

"Not yet." You said, smiling slightly. "I'm working on something big."

Some Japanese swearing met your ear, and Kaguya lazily handled it with a slap upside the head. While she was standing next to you. Truly, she was a senior magical girl, to be able to use that sort of spellcraft so casually!

Soon, the girls departed, and you pet your new cat carefully.

"Well, you won't cause me any trouble at all now, will you?"

"Mjau."

-/-/-/-/

Once you'd recovered from your short bout of Indiana Jones Artifact Reaserch, you got back to the shop and to work. The remains of the cursed shrapnel were sealed up as per normal, while the now-jagged sword had glass filling to cover up the problem areas and a new micarta handle made since the old one melted down into goop.

After you pulled the sword from the oven, you had to whisper to yourself in awe. The shrapnel gaps had been turned into a beautiful glass-coated flamberge pattern, while the new blue handle blended in perfectly. Picking it up, you felt it's power carefully, smiling. Forever preternaturally sharp, forever swung true, and most importantly, capable of interacting with the invisible and unknowable to block ethereal attacks and cut through certain types of spellcraft. That last one would be draining as hell, but to the right girl? It would be priceless.

You could decide who later though. Right now? Still tired, and your recliner still needed to be crashed in.

/-/-/-/-/-

The Joselyn Question
[] Keep her in a cleared-out room: she's not inherently a bad person, and the artifact shrapnel in her could lead to some interesting research possibilities.
[] Throw her out: her work here is done, and quite frankly a lot of the girls here have a professional interest in killing her. Their respect for you only goes so far.
[] Kill her: the only good Alchemist is a dead Alchemist.

Build a Tool
[] Trinket
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 3.
[] Wand
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 2.
[] Bomb
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] Costume
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] No, you want to work on your building instead
[] No, you want to improve your workshop instead.

 
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Week 8: The most unassuming monsters


Finishing lunch with a smirk, you went back to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. It had been raining most of the week, so not many of the girls were moving around much, giving you freedom to start crafting. As you lit the hearth-flame of the furnace, you sighed and steepled your fingers. You learned a lot from the dissection of the cursed sword, and now the time to apply it was at hand.

The first, and most important thing you'd learned was that it was entirely possible to separate magical tasks into separate components of the wand's physical form, which would presumably work like a block and tackle. Instead of using a hundred feet of rope to pull straight up, subdividing by parts meant that you had two fifty-foot lengths undergoing half the respective load. Theoretically, this would extend the durability and the spell strength of the wand too, but right now you just wanted to get two effects in and working with each other.

Going to your parts bin, you started digging around until you grabbed a full detonite injector. A piece of advanced witch-work, it would serve well as the basis to this wand- once you grabbed a septum and popped the nose open to remove the detonite. Putting the globes of volatile green goo to the side in an old loaf pan, you started whistling as you collapsed the injector's tensioned arms down to their minimal position and started locking them shut. For all that calling them 'Witches' made them sound like magical beasts, many of them managed to work mechanical wonders like detonite injectors, so finely-wrought you were certain that not even a Swiss watchmaker could reliably duplicate the quality.

Once you were done working down the detonite injector, you tossed it in the oven to cook for a little bit while you racked out your potion stand. Three globs of detonite, three potion bottles, of course you were going to do some experimental potionry on the side! Pouring the detonite into the arcane water, you spiked the first one with some baking soda, the second with ammonia, and the last one with the tail end of your Crafting Whiskey. Chucking the empty fifth in your recycling bin, you set the bottles back in the stand, and threw a clump of parsley and lime (not the fruit, the chemical) in the top of the device before pouring a measure of salt into each fire. As bright orange flames shot out, you smirked and let that cook. Back to wand now!

Diving into your collection of holy stuff, you grabbed some of the moonstone for this project, before clamping it down and breaking out your carving chisel and a crayon. For this, you were feeling like a triskelion emblazoned on the breast of a dove, and the drawing came out well enough for your satisfaction. Carving it… well, there were some slips. It happened. Still, with the focus done, you pulled out the detonite injector that had been cooking, and dug into your stash of glass bottles. A set of three wine bottles would be glass donors for this as you treated them well before cutting off their necks and bottoms. Working carefully, you got the hot metal of the injector opened, before sliding in each glass segment to create a mostly-uninterupted core where there'd normally be the globs of detonite. Once that was done, you then needed to go into your Concoctions cabinet, and get a jar of the humors- in this case, black bile. About a liter of it was what you needed, so a little olive oil was used as a thinner, along with two nearly-expired eggs Homer had banished from the kitchen. Reeking faintly of depression and despair, you sighed and put it in the oven to render off some of the more frustrating effects. With that cared for, you could now make a stone-setting for the moonstone cap to the wand. This bit, the fun bit, you could dignify with some song.

"I dig my hole you build a wall

I dig my hole you build a wall

One day that wall is gonna fall
"

Once you'd put together a cap-plate and a bezel, a touch of epoxy joined the two without too much ceremony, and from there the moonstone went in. After you taped it down to your anvil, out came the wooden peg and mallet as you got to work on hammering the bezel shut. Repeating the first verse again, you un-taped it, and tossed it in the oven for some warm magical double-checking.

"Gon' build that city on a hill

Gon' build that city on a hill

Some day those tears are gonna spill
"

The next step was sealing the joints between the glass segments in the core of the wand body. Going back over to your epoxy, you went over and dumped some powdered glass into it and started mixing it in so that post-cook it would theoretically form a homogeneous container. Hopefully. Probably. To be honest, you were still pretty damn fuzzy as to the arcane synergies of epoxy. While that all set up, you unclipped the bombs from there stand since they had finished percolating, and put them in the oven to finalize in potency. There was a niggling feeling in the back of your head that this was a really suboptimal way to finish charging them, but you had three oven bays and this project had yet to require more than two at a time.

"So build that wall and build it strong cause

We'll be there before too long
"

It took about a minute for the epoxy to cure, at which point you pulled the reduced black bile out and dumped it in. Hissing as it hit the bottom of the container, you felt the potential of the various components war with themselves, until the ordering of the device sorted itself out from explosive-with-delivery-system fighting melancholy-brew-that-saps-will into delivery-of-despair that finally won out. Capping the fluid chamber with a bottle-bottom, you kept smearing on epoxy and let the set win out.

"Gon' build that wall up to the sky

Gon' build that wall up to the sky

Some day your bird is gonna fly
"

Now came the capstone and focus. Heating up a band of coper wire you'd pulled from the walls, you gauged it ever so carefully before sliding it on top of the affair to serve as a constrictive fastening as it cooled. It wasn't long before you heard the tink and click of contracting metal, and you sighed. Time to finish the song.

"Gon' build that wall until it's done

Gon' build that wall until it's done

But now you've got nowhere to run

So build that wall and build it strong cause

We'll be there before too long"


By the time you were done, the fastening had cooled to the point it was lock-solid, and you could safely put the entire contraption into the oven. Taking a long drink of water, you clapped your hands together once before going to stoke the fire. This would be exhausting, you could tell already. Light-of-the-night-world was a strong concept, and marrying it to delivery-of-despair was a bold move that would need negotiating out. Conceptual ingredients weren't your strong suit, but you'd need to work on it anyway to keep delivering quality work.

"I've come here from nowhere

Across the unforgiving sea.

Drifting further and further

It's all becoming clear to me.

But violent winds are upon us, and I can't sleep

Internal temperatures rising

And all the voices won't recede.
"

Light and despair were hard concepts to compel to work together, you mused. Despair-to-the-dark would require inverting light; Hope-for-those-without required inverting the despair. Finally, you bit the bullet and prepared for an ugly compromise, by shifting light from the purest moonglow to the piercing ray, while moving despair from a gentle melancholy to a crippling depression. It was easier to get two strong assets to combine together like artificial time and clockwork, so the force of the ray would provide the depressive results. With one last tweak, you barely managed to work in the concept of an aura, a small harkening back to the subtler tones, and then the first stage was done.

"I've finally found what I've been looking for.

A place where I can be without remorse;

Because I am a stranger who has found

An even stranger war

I've finally found what I've been looking for.

Here I come."


The second stage was harder. The detonite injector was willing to accept the ray, but the more gentle dispersion was a much harder sell to make. Still, you worked it in carefully and credibly, fusing the dispersal completely as the main effect solidified. Ray-of-oppression would be a good main effect, you thought, the paralyzing hopelessness and mournful results scarring the mind and piercing the soul. The secondary, though, was softer; aura-of-hope. It was no banner to rally around, but even in the worst of times, there would be something keeping the girls together.

"La chaleur me dérange

Mais c'est le grincement du bateau qui ma réverèe"


Going over to the oven, you hauled it open and reached in to withdraw the wand. Sleek and dark in the center, full of churning liquid and power; with three golden rods holding the cap of light on. The moonstone had vanished, sadly, consumed and eaten entire into the wand, but as you picked it up there was still a triskelion on the cap of the weapon. Hand wrapped around the braided machinery of the grip, you felt a lightening of your heart. It wasn't amazing, in your mind, but you knew with this that there was still a touch of heaven's light that ran through it.

-/-/-/

The next day in the commissary, you smiled and looked at the assembled girls. The room was packed, with your four taking up one table, with Rose, Lappin, that cat, and a girl in a red leather motorcycle jacket. Your mind, still buzzing with arcane residue, recognized it as a magical costume. Limited utility, yes, but whoever had made it was damn good- it would last for fucking years.

"Good news, people!" you yelled. "I got shit to sell!"

Eight sets of eyes turned to you, and one nose in lieu of eyes from Homer behind the counter.

"Behold, new wand!" you yelled, grinning as you held it out. "Anyone got an opening bid?"

Trompdoy and Eowyn both shrugged. "We can do you… uh… not that much." Eowyn said, sighing. "Around six pallets of Alchemist supplies? There's been not a lot of activity lately, and we found more signs of that coven of witches, so this last week's been mostly detective work."

Calypso glared at you. "I'm already in debt, so no. Fuck off."

Mistletoe wiped the drool out of her mouth. "Umm… I have some scrap I picked up out of a summoning circle, and a few artifact-things? Nothing great, but it exists?"

You nodded. Not a great payoff, but as the cat sped out of the room you looked at the strangers. "And you guys?"

"Twenty ounces of 24-karat gold." The girl in red said. "Also, I'm Tanner. Nice to meet'cha."

Rose winced. "Bidding's too rich for my taste. Call me in when something cheaper comes up."

"Thirteen Familiar Chimera corpses, two pints of dragon's blood, six non-Euclidian skulls, twenty pounds of enchanted cinnabar," Lappin said with a waver. "and my services for two weeks. For anything."

"Anything?" you asked, eyes lighting up.

"Anything." She said, shivering a little. "Absolutely anything."

"Great!" you said, smiling. "You can do the morning collections and water distribution. If I sell to you, we can go over your routines later, and you'll start on Sunday."

The three strangers let their mouths fall open. Looking at them, Calypso sighed in the most deadpan voice possible.

"You get used to it."

Behind you, a magical girl barged through your lobby, turned at the junction, and came screaming up behind you in an ill-fitting school uniform covered with stains and a size too small. "Sorry I'm late!" she yelled, before tripping on the shitty hall carpet and faceplanting into the ground at your feet. "I'm Elise."

Picking her almost skeletal form upright and taking her inside, you plopped her at the table and clicked your fingers twice, than three times- food, now, please.

"I heard from my cat you were selling a wand. I have a '67 Camero I can offer in trade, and a shipping container full to the brim of Warsaw Pact military equipment."

The girls stared at her, and Elise stared back. "What? You guys act surprised."

"Where the fuck did you get that! When did you get that?" Tanner asked, almost yelling.

"Ukraine, in '89, and I'm not obligated to tell you anything else." Elise said, smirking. "God, I miss working with Henrietta."

You nodded. "I still need to do some cleaning and polish, so I'll be back in a bit. Sales decisions will be finalized by the weekend."


-/-/-/-/

It had taken a surprisingly small amount of work to make a secured room for Joselyn to stay in, where she was nominally connected to a ring you yourself bolted into a floor stud, with a foot manacle zip-tied to an eight gauge chain. Now, you were coming up with the bolt cutters, and more importantly an employment offer. Entering the room, you found Joselyn sitting on the ground, idly braiding her hair.

"Heya, sparky." She said, sighing. "Make up your mind yet?"

"I've been thinking about it." You said honestly. "As it stands, I don't want to kill you, but I can't let you go."

"Yeah yeah, recruitment at gunpoint works so much better when you have a gun." Joselyn said, sighing. "Really, I thought you would be better at this than the other guys."

"I considered being polite about it."

Joselyn looks at you like you were an idiot drenched in stupid sauce. "I was an Alchemist. Card-carrying, baby-eating, nightmare-inducing Alchemist. You're still in here talking to me? How hard you ring your bell, Sevenfingers?"

You glared at her. "That is not my name."

"Might as well be, mister half-handshake! What, you think a moment of boredom is enough to get me to slip? I helped you because it was funny, and I figured, oh, what the hell, might as well take you down with me!"

The glare intensified. "And you don't want to make up for that? You don't want to try and get better?"

Laughing, Joselyn rolled back. "I have no soul left for you to save, dumbass. Look."

Taking off her pants, or at least as far as she could with the manacle, Joselyn showed you the front of her leg. A long scar slithered up her thigh, covered with ugly stitching and black tissue.

"Exsanguination cut." She explained easily, a dark smile on her face. "They need to suck as much of your blood out as they can before they start replacing bits. Catch your soul up in a ruby, and rack it away for later. If they replace enough bits, well, you've seen Calypso."

"What about Calypso." You asked darkly.

"Oh, you know your literature. Mary Shelly was a real treat, when she gave out the idea for a man made of spare parts and powered by lighting. Technically, a dead end since there's not enough standardization in humans to make it work without masterful interreference, but, well, the old Master of this area was an idiot."

Your eye twitched again. "And what, they'll come rescue you now?"

"Pfft, no." Joselyn said, grinning. "I've got another few days before I get the pangs, a week or two before I kick it after that from represent withdrawl. This isn't a new lease on life, just a chance to die later."

At that, you walked out of the room, and back downstairs. The level of evil, malicious foresight, and institutional knowledge horrified you to your core. Back in your room, you dug around for a package of cigarettes, the brown wrapping paper comfortable in your hands as you searched for a lighter. Growling, you gave up, moving to your workshop to light off a taper in the oven. That done and coffin nail lit, you went out to the lobby pacing. This could be an elaborate ruse, but you weren't so sure. Something was up. Another puff, and you went outside to look at the outside of the building.

"Represent withdrawal" sounded fishy no way you sliced it. Either there was something in her system being repressed, or there was a symptom being controlled. More importantly, there very well could be something else in there that she wasn't telling you because she didn't want you to know, or because she didn't know. Walking around the lot, you stopped. There was a woman outside, looking at you.

"Hello." You said casually, still puffing your smoke.

"Hello, Armorer of Light." The woman said, smiling. "Care to parley?"

You blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You are the Armorer of Light, yes?" the woman asked. Taking a closer look, her dark dress and elbow-length opera gloves started to tickle the back of your brain, before realizing that this bombshell of a woman was trying to talk to you about negotiations.

"I would assume." You said carefully. "I run the hostel, and I do create magical weapons."

"Excellent." The woman said, smiling. "My name is Anna Eriksdotir, and I was chosen as the negotiator for our coven. We wish to evacuate the area in peace, and are willing to barter with you for that right."

"The assumption that I control the girls is a laughable one." You countermanded. "They hunt where they are wont, sleep when they wish, and pay me in the spoils of war."

"A simple shut-down of a week in your services would make it plain that there is a large amount of power you bear." Anna replied. "We depart in five weeks, and if you wish to deliver news as to you and yours' opinions on the matter, you need only step to neutral ground and say my name thrice. I will hear, and arrive as quick as I may."

"Very well then." You said nodding. "Until then."

"Until then, Armorer of Light."

/-/-/-/-/-
Votes

Build a Tool
[] Trinket
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 3.
[] Wand
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 2.
[] Bomb
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] Costume
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] No, you want to work on your building instead
[] No, you want to improve your workshop instead.
[] No, you want to research an item instead. (no items to research)

Wand (T2 sale)
[] Tanner the Red (22 Mundane)
[] Lappin the Rabbit (23 Witchy, 2 weeks staff work) (Occupies 1 furnished room at no rent)
[] Trompdoy & Eowyn (4 Gubbins, 12 Spooky, 2 Demonic)
[] Mistletoe (6 Witchy, 10x Minor Artifacts for Reaserch)
[] Elise (16x Gubbins, 1x Major Item)

Autosell Minor Items in the future?
[] Yes
[] No



AN: As Item Creation starts producing more secondary items as part of your workshop gaining efficiency, there are two ways I can handle this. Option one, auto-generated items are automatically sold to highest bidders offscreen. Option two, auto-generated items are not sold automatically, and are held in stockpile for voting on in future rounds unless a State of Emergency occurs and you need to get every MG out in the field with more gear than a stick and a prayer. Since this is a systematic change to the format of this quest, I'm making it a voting item at present since it implied items getting sold every round and therefore a major change to the voting system that will reduce player agency in certain day-to-day plot elements and events.
 
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The World's Freedom
AN: Commissioned by @KreenWarrior



Sitting on the terrace café in Marseilles, Ouroboros sighed and stirred her coffee. Europe was a beautiful place, if you could get used to the peculiarities of the girls there. Everywhere around the world, this profession of hers was different. The bright lights and darks of Asia, the flash in the pan of the Americas, protective and cooperative powers in Africa, the glorious fury and epics of the Middle East… it was all different, and all special.

"I told you already, my circle can handle him." The girl in front of her, Bridgette, said airily. "It's not so major a demon to cause a true planar warp, and that's the danger here. Everything else, we have a counter for."

Ouroboros rolled her eyes. "If you are correct on the identity of what was summoned, then yes, you can handle him. If you are incorrect and my guild's research holds true, then what will happen is you'll walk in and then you're going to get entrapped by a bounded field."

"You place too much stock in your circle's research." Bridgette said loftily. "You are but a young group, and have much to learn from your seniors."

Rolling her eyes, Ouroboros pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a snap of her fingers. "One, that is blatantly disengious considering we are the experts in Demonic interference in Witch-work and are globally known for it. Two, your circle is twelve girls strong, and this is the sort of threat that everyone agrees should be handled by at least twenty or thirty girls so you have proper recovery for wounded."

"We are masters of elan and have autonomous recovery." Bridgette said, sipping her drink. "This has let us trim out far more wasted manpower than you'd first think."

"You finally got that finished?" Ouroboros asked, nearly dropping her cigarette. "You are dancing on the cusp of madness, and there is exactly one artificer I know who could be remotely trusted to create a golem not given direct and divine animation. We are not in Rome. This path has been closed to us for centuries!"

Bridgette chuckled darkly. "Whoever considered that we would give the machine a soul? No, let it rest as mere iron and automata. Without something for a demon to strike at, it will be as if a tree, or safer."

"I do not trust your engineering nor your artifacy."

"And I do not care what a girl a century my junior has to say about the way I run my circle or how I choose my targets. I was born under the auspices of the Sun King, and this circle was founded with his personal blessings." Bridgette said, her temper cold as leaded glass, and twice as brittle.

That was nothing, though, next to Ouroboros' rage. "The Sun King, then? Well enough, for a ruler in Europe, a benighted continent of disease tied to the yoke of feudal warlords. I was born as cousin to Abbas the First, the Great, the Shah of Shahs, and I predate your precious lightbulb of this cesspit by at least sixty years. If we did not both fight those evils which have plagued our trade and the world for the last three thousand years after Sulayman the Great first took note of what djinn chose to reject the light of God and work against the hands of man, then I would surely take you to the field and demand what excuse for satisfaction one so enraptured in their own chemical bliss might provide."

Rejecting the table, Ouroboros moved over to the balcony, staring south. "Sirocco!" she roared, ire raging. "Sirocco! Sirocco!"

This done, she stood up on the railing, put her spread hand up to her lips, then pointed to a closed hand with one finger before jumping off the railing. Two stories were enough of a fall, though, and as she ran over Bridgette realized that her conversational partner had disappeared without a trace.

-/-/-/

"Boss, you can't keep doing that to me." Sirocco groaned, back when they were on the boat. "I nearly dropped you. Twice!"

Laughing, Ouroboros gave her friend a hug and a kiss on the forehead. "I know, I'm sorry, but it's so much fun! You're the fastest flyer I've seen in decades, and it's like the good old days of barnstorming again!"

Walking up to the two of them, a young woman in dark slacks and a ruffle shirt under a waistcoat sighed. "Ouroboros, please stop trying to poach my girlfriend for, like, ten minutes? Please?"

"I'm sorry, Zephyr." Ouroboros said, before walking over to her and kissing her cheek too. "I'm still a tad wound up by that damn tart. Trying to bludgeon me, of all people, with her seniority and pedigree!"

"Well, you can be salty about it belowdecks." Zephyr said, although not unkindly. "We've a request to make best time for Montreal, because some other members of your whatever-you-call-it need to take the Northwest Passage up and carry some plane-sensitive cargo to Sendai."

"Couldn't they just fly out to Kaguya and fly back?"

"It's too sensitive even for that apparently. Might even be too sensitive for you to stay on the boat!" Zephyr said, laughing. "As much as I love your coin, you know that your semi-corporeal form fucks with touchy stuff."

"Listen, you need a crazy Serb to try and potshot you out of a car one time with bullets that'll actually stick, and you get a little paranoid." Ouroboros griped. "Still, I do need to do some stuff and change my makeup, so if you don't mind?"

"Go ahead." The two Winds said, smiling.

Belowdecks, the ship was titanic, enlarged beyond the constraints of her mere physical volume time and time again over the last hundred and fifty years. Each timber had been enscrolled with corporeal magic ten, no, a hundred times over; each frame decorated in layer on layer of fine spellwork and mysticism. It took a fair bit of walking to find her cabin suite, but once Ouroboros did it still smelled like home and a boat. Lighting two sticks of incense, she settled down on the floor, humming softly as she brought up the hundreds of bounded fields that surrounded her body. Before she had been Ouroboros, she had been the Decietful, using layers on layers of fields to control her appearance like the paint on a doll. As the last of the magic faded away, she examined her true form. Strong bones defined her face, and there was a trace of the mountainside in the tone of her skin and the structure of her face. Her body was still full and hale, an image of slight beauty that had just discovered the cusp of womanhood, but would never become a matron in the fullness of time.

Smiling into her mirror, Ouroboros sat down on the sea chest at the end of her bed, and considered what to become. Montreal was a city of European design and logic, but the people, the Canadians, were not the blood-hungry ones that clamored for the strength of nations that Europeans did. She could afford to let more of her true face show, although some slight tweaks to her eyes added a sense of Orientalism that would throw most people off. A bit more flare to her nose, now, and a narrower, more heart-shaped face would work wonders. As to the rest of her? Well, now, that depended. Negafook would probably be there, and she was a sucker for a strong build.

Inflating her size to over two hundred centimeters, Ouroboros started sculpting her body carefully. Muscle, yes, but not the corded and detailed work that would be incorgious. Assets a-plenty, yes, both above and below, but a trim waist with a hint of softness. Voluptuous, that was the goal, not balloons on bricks. The right clothes to accent it, that would be a trick. Black, red, white; that would be the color scheme, darker below and lighter above as the blouse grew white fluff and blood-red trim and the skirt had napping panels that changed colors as she spun. A ring on her right finger, black jet, and a pair of golden studs finished the costume with a smile.

After that came the waiting. Grabbing a smartphone built as a trade of tools with a rather adventurous gal in Singapore, she started scanning through the contacts. Everyone was asleep, naturally. Oh well- she could use this time to design a scroll, or-

-or get some tedious rituals out of the way. Taking a few minutes to lock down the spellwork that led to this appearance, Ouroboros sent it away and got to work. Her present title was one that was older than her, and a technique that was a trade. The American Alchemists with their strict focus on not bypassing the Law of Equivalent Exchange, and for all the headaches it caused them it existed for a reason- not because it was a law of nature, but because it was a law of man. It kept the caster out of the equation; prevented the soul from entering the work, and divorced the practitioner from what they wrought.

The Ritual of the Ouroboros was the opposite. At the end of the world beyond which all the lands of Men might lie, was the World-Snake, forever encircling the world with it's tail grasped in it's mouth to form a circle of containment and bounding. Here lies the realm of Man, and here lies the realms not of Man. It was eternal. If one could draw a mystical connection, one could take on attributes of a creature. Shapeshifters used it as the root of their art; summoners and voudun priests too.

The fact the World-Snake was alive made it a perfectly valid target, and at some point, a brave woman went and made the connection, and bound it into a ritual.

Now, it was Ouroboros, once called Deceiver, once called Djinn-whisperer, once called Nahid, and forever known for her artistry, who would preform this working. Drawing out her namesake symbol on the floor of the cabin, she sighed and started chanting. This was the language of her childhood, and not one soul would understand the simplicity of the creation. Three steps around the inside of the circle, repeated three times, then a pinch of hair from the head and a pinch of hair from elsewhere to show the head and the tail coming together. Settling down to the floor, the girl once called Nahid sighed and got to the hard part- shifting her leg up and around to where she could bite her foot.

A large part of the ritual was establishing the sympathetic mimicry, and that meant motion to represent the orbit of the World-Snake around the realms of man, and stillness to show the eternity. While, naturally, mirroring the posture of the World-Snake. So, the girl once called Nahid sat there, and bit her foot until faint drops of crimson fell to the decking, and held her position. Scars still decorated her foot from those early days when her legs and tendons weren't used to holding this position and her teeth had ripped at herself, but several hundred years was plenty of time to correct a technique. The rocking of the ship didn't disturb her any, and slowly her mind faded away. Mortal concerns did not disturb the World-Snake, for it was eternal. The passage of days, the motion of one star, the spinning of a planet, not nearly so important as the peace and serenity that was eternity.

The girl once called Nahid was not so immortal, nor so immaterial, however, and as a twinge ran through her leg she brought it down, sighing. The ritual was complete, and some quick work with a broom and dustpan cleaned the floor, while a fast spell disposed of the material reagents needed.

Groaning, Ouroboros stretched herself back out, and re-cast her preferred face for today. If her clock was correct, they'd reach Montreal soon, and it would behoove her to make sure she was ready. After all, one never knew what sort of fun she would find!
 
Week 9: An eternal mystery of the theoretical perfection's mortal flaw


After spending two months and change running this madcap hostel for wayward magical girls, you'd gotten used to being woken up in the middle of the night. Really, eight hours of uninterrupted sleep was a rarity now.

"Medicine boy, we got us a fucking problem!"

Such as this fine Monday night, circa three in the morning. Getting up and slipping on a pair of sweatpants and your slippers, you moved over to your front door. Standing in front of it, Calypso grimaced faintly, holding her trinket as it faintly released steam. You could smell the energy wafting off it as she pushed it's power, distorting time in order to buy a few more minutes.

"What are we looking at." You asked brusquely, slinging on a bathrobe.

"Joselyn started vomiting blood and pissing herself, and the piss smells rancid." Calypso explained, tightlipped. "Last time I saw this, the homunculus in question needed four liters of blood transfusion and a new liver booster unit."

"I have duct tape and a bag full of bullshit." you replied, going into your workshop to grab a satchel full of assorted potion ingredients and two shaker cans of paint. "Let's see what we can do."

Heading up the stairs, you hissed. The smell was emanating out past Joselyn's door, and as you opened it up the poor girl let out a sound like she was dying- possibly because she was.

"Go get Homer up, we need hot water as soon as possible." You muttered, pulling out the paint can and spraypainting a pentagram around the puke-filled toilet bucket.

"I am not giving that bitch a bath." Calypso grumbled.

"Neither am I, but we need to get her at least moderately clean before I try and do a chakra realignment."

"A whatsit."

"We need to unfuck her chi."

Calypso stared at you like you'd grown a second head. "You shitting me, Medicine Boy? You've got essences of blood and black bile, just recharge her humors and it'll patch her back up."

You glared at her. "And then in two more days I'll need to dump more blood and bile into her because this is a systematic problem, not a one time thing! Get fucking Homer and some hot water, before I have to tap you as a blood bank!"

"Christ, okay, yeesh." Calypso muttered, before leaving.

With the peanut gallery gone, you got to work cutting off Joselyn's clothes. Aside from the subtle surgical scars and faint covering of sweat and slime, there was nothing outwardly wrong with her. This would take some deeper analysis, so you started painting a circle around her and lighting sticks of incense at the cardinal points of the compass. Muttering out a Hail Mary, you added a second circle and started adding trigrams to it. Everything you'd seen was evidence of a fundamental imbalance, which meant digging in to find it. These rough and ready field diagnostics wouldn't tell you much, but it would be a start.

A moan and shift in posture threw out an arm towards Lake, and you groaned. Liver problem. Right, fuck. Going into your satchel, you dug around for a chakra guide. Manipura would be your best guess at what to whale on, before you grabbed a bag of lead fishing weights. Setting them on Joselyn's solar plexus, you watched her breathing hitch before she rolled over to puke again. A faint sniff told you that blood was both caustic beyond that of normal bile, and more importantly smelled of decay. Once you checked her throat was clear, you rolled Jocelyn back over and replaced the pressure on her Manipura chakra.

If you were to restore or boost power of the liver, you'd need to find something to supliment it at some point. Herbal medicine wasn't your strong suit, but a bottle of arcane water might be enough to get some energy into her system? Worth a shot. As you slowly fed her the reagent, her leg started twitching, and you felt something start to hew back towards normal.

"I got Homer and some water." Calypso yelled from the door. "Is it safe to come in?"

"About as safe as it's gonna get, yeah." You called back. "Just splash her down while I think about how I'm gonna fix this. Her blood's kinda acidic, and I'm probably going to need to infuse some humors after all."

"Told you she needed some black bile." Calypso muttered.

"I'm actually thinking phlegm and yellow bile." You replied, stroking your brow. "You don't fix a liver problem with black bile."

"Eh, what do I know? Not like I had to live with the sons of bitches who invented this."

"You'd be surprised." You muttered. "After all, who said they were trying to heal their creations?"

Calyspo shut up, and you made sure Joselyn was clean. Once that was done, you went over to the waste bucket, and glared. That was some fucking toxic waste right there, and if you didn't pitch it posthaste it would probably eat through the bucket, floor, and room below.

"Right, mission planning." You declared. "Calypso, get Sofia up and have her sit watch. I'm gonna get that yellow bile. Homer, hit the books; we need to get her liver fixed before it starts a cascading failure. We need to fix this."

"I can't see why you're dumping so much work into her." Calypso said, glaring at you. "She's just a fucking Alchemist. Let her die."

"Everyone deserves a second chance, Calypso." You replied. "If you can have one, why not her?"

"Because I never had a first one."

-/-/-/

The next morning, you woke up, got to the kitchen to turn the warmers on, synthesized some yellow bile, and had breakfast. Rose, Lapin, and Kaguya were sitting in the commissary, while Eowyn and Trompdoy were looking morose at Reheat of Porridge. With Homer hitting the books all night, you'd had to skimp on breakfast prep, and this week was going to be the first dip in food quality in quite a while.

"Right, so." You said, gesturing to them all once you were done eating. "Gather 'round, I got shit to sell."

Your paired magical girls just looked at you, sighed, and and tossed you a purse full of buffalo dollar coins. "Rent?" you asked.

"Yeah, rent. That's two hundred Buffalo Dollar coins, which are pretty much the closest thing to a recognized magical currency right now." Eowyn said, sighing. "Sorry about missing last week, by the way."

"Late rent is no skin off my nose." You said back, shrugging. "Not sticking around for the bidding?"

"I don't trust that cursed sword none, and after you picked up Misteltoe's bid, it's like what we offer matters." Trompdoy said without heat. "When you want us to have something, ask."

"How about some potions?" you asked. "I've got three healing-ish ones ready to go."

"Sure." Trompdoy said, trying not to move her scarred arm too much. "We found another giant-ass moonstone; does that sound good?"

"Done." You replied. "Drop it off in my room later, and I'll get you the potions."

As those two left, Rose looked hopefully at you. "A formerly cursed sword?"

"Yes, a now-not-cursed sword."

"I'll trade you five of my special rosebushes, and six hundred gallons of Agent Orange for it." Rose said confidentially.

Everyone in the room stared at her. "How the fuck did you find six hundred gallons of Agent Orange." You asked, mildly horrified.

"Found it in an old tanker car I was gonna turn into a shelter." Rose said unashamedly. "In other news, I might also start boarding here because my last place got burned down."

"Right well we'll talk about that later." You sighed. "Other bids?"

"One million yen, and one small favor." Kaguya said, smiling faintly. "An… IOU is the correct expression?.. from one such as myself is quite valuable, although not a tradeable commodity."

"Same as last time." Lapin said, sadly. "Not much time to do stuff with all the training going on."

"And you act like you're not stronger for it?" Kaguya asked, attentions changing like a whip. "Such a deficient rabbit like you needed some hard work to learn her trade. Even a pale imitation of myself should shine brighter."

"Yes, Sensei." Lappin said, dejected.

Sighing, you went back to your workshop. You had to plan shit out.

-/-/-/

After you figured out that a daily infusion of yellow bile kept Joselyn stable enough, it was Thursday by the time you finally decided it was time to step up your medical game. The longer you were here, the more weird shit crossed your desk, which meant spending time figuring out how it all interacted. Your gut was strong, but it wasn't strong enough to reliably plan for complex item interactions. You needed a test chamber, a place to perform hermitic experiments safely. Cracking your knuckles, you grabbed your china crayons, and headed over across the hallway.

As above, so below. That was the maxim every Hermetic lived with, and it applied across the fabric of the world. While you were no initiate to that cult of mystery, even their public information was valuable and rang true to your own work in mystical artistry. The Alchemists took this one step further with the creation of their Homunculi, a simplified human that they could work on as a microscopic test they could abort. You would, unfortunately, need to dip into that same playbook in order to solve this problem of their causing- to restore function to Joselyn, you'd need to create a duplicate of her malproper organs and experiment in the curative means of solving her problem.

That would come later, though, as you went back to your workshop to get some paper to test the spells you had come up with. Floor circle and Ceiling circle checked out reasonably well, and you only needed to correct two symbols, but East Wall Circle had to have half a dozen mirrored variants compared to West Wall Circle, and your Sun Circle around the boarded up window to the south was inconsistent as hell.

By the time you were finished, it was dinner time, and after that was sleep.

-/-/-/-/

It took four days to fully finish the laboratory, and after that was moving Rose in. Since some of her garden plants could help you synthesize humors, she currently paid rent in those plant products at a rate of one bushel of synthesis ingredients per week, which roughly worked out to one and one-fifth liters of assorted humors a week.

Equally importantly, Joselyn's condition had stabilized and improved slightly, prompting you to head up to her room. Her complexion had steadily been worsening, by now a jaudinced yellow, and her hair was flat and brittle. Sunken eyes with a thin film on them stared at you, and the beach recliner that someone had brought her served as an impersonal chaise lounge for this meeting.

"Well, I see you didn't listen." She rasped, looking at you. "I can barely walk to the toilet, now. You've got maybe four more days before the bone fever starts."

"I can tell things are degrading, yes." You said calmly. "I think I can fix you, though, with some time investment and some more permanent modifications. It shouldn't need to be surgical, since most of the problems root from poor bodily restructuring and that can be solved thaumaturgically."

Joselyn sat, and her face went through a number of transformations. "One condition."

"Yes?"

"If this goes wrong, you get that gun, you put it up to my head, and you blow my fucking brains out." Joselyn said. "My fall will not go before your pride."

"Are you sure?"

"My headstone will read: here lies Joselyn Krazowstanskislaw, death her most peaceful repose. You will put it on a hill, and underneath it my body will sit in a lead lined coffin so whatever damnfool digger finds it next doesn't open it up and have my offgas kill him."

Finally, you nodded. It was time to go down to the laboratory, and get to work.

/-/-/-/-
Votes

Josylen's Condition
This is a project that will take all week, and will replace the normal Crafting action due to the scale of the operation.
[]: [HEAL] With no effort or fund spared. It was your decision to save her life and keep her here, and you will see it through. (cost: 15 Witchy, 4 Demonic, 4 Holy, 1 Gubbin)
[]: [HEAL] To the best extent your limited resources may, you'll fix this damn problem. (cost: 10 Witchy, 2 Demonic, 2 Holy, 2 Mundane)
[]: [HEAL] You're no proper miracle-worker, but you've done some right proper bullshit before. You can stop this. (cost: 5 Witchy, 1 Demonic, 1 Holy)
[]: [HEAL] Theoretically, this will be textbook, and you're not going to wing it with something this delicate. (cost: 2 Witchy, 6 Mundane)

Wand Sale (T3)
[] [SALE] Lappin the Rabbit (23 Witchy, 2 weeks staff work) (Occupies 1 furnished room at no rent)
[] [SALE] Kaguya the Lunar Rabbit (20 Mundane, 1 IOU)
[] [SALE] Rose the Entangling (5x Witchy, 35x Demonic, 35x Spooky) (warning: some danger in transportation of payment)

Minor Items Sold
3x T1 bombs: Eowyn & Trompdoy @6 Holy total


AN: Yes, this vote is to determine how much power you want to invest into Joselyn. Choose wisely.
 
This well-wrought wand
(A series of four commissions by @KreenWarrior to be posted as I finish them. Three more to go.)

The club was noisy, with bright lights flashing out of the windows and the thump of a base desire and heavy beat coming out the door. There might not have been a line, per say, but there were a pair of bouncers to control the crowd in front of the affair. Most of the guys and girls waiting to get in were patient about it, but someone always was going to get pushy. The girl walking up screamed fashion punk, from the once-long plaid skirt that steadily frayed until you could only count the top third as a complete garment, to the white shirt sans sleeve trying and failing to hide a full black corset with silver piping. The only misnomer on her was the two golden torcs on her wrists, each one a coiled snake- the right with sapphire eyes, the left with emerald.

"ID, please?" one of the bouncers asked. A wave of her left hand, though, and his eyes were glazing over.

"C'mon, Paddy, you know me." The girl said, voice sweet and dusky.

"Of course, miss." The bouncer said, nodding. "Still like an Emperor's Horchata?"

"You know it."

Inside the club, the pulse almost seemed dimmer as it mixed with the heartbeat of the patrons. A powerful piece of magery was at work here, but powerful didn't mean louder than the music. Sipping her thirty dollar drink at the bar, the girl waited calmly. Her target would be coming through any minute to pick a new victim.

It was a few minutes later, and a tap on her shoulder by the bartender, that got her to blink.

"From the owner." The bartender said, smiling. It was a tall goblet of washed milk punch, red with raspberries and bitter with cloves. "He invites you to the higher lounge."

Shrugging, the magical girl moved up to the wrought iron stairway to the next floor. There, the sound fell off, and amidst the velvet and leather a young man sat on a loveseat between two buxom girls.

"Ah, Celeste, my darling, so good to see you!" he said, flouncing his way in. "It's been months, you know!"

"Sitri." Celeste muttered. "Why are you talking?"

"Because you're not stupid enough to beard a dragon in his own den." The Grand Prince of Hell said, his mortal illusion flickering in the sapphire light that gently came from the torcs.

"True." Celeste said, smiling. "Considering how well things went last time, however, I was willing to give negotiation a shot."

"Oh?" Sitri said, form flickering.

"The delusional vampire that summoned you is dead. Now, either you can agree to go back to Hell peacefully, or I can turn your unholy artifact upstairs into ash and watch the Presidents drag you back to work."

"A hard offer…" Sitri said, before bringing his hand up, forming a magical circle to throw a ray of heat. Celeste was ready, though, and a thin green line pierced through to strike the demon in his shoulder. As corrupted ichor flowed forth, the demon screamed, the girls on the couch fell back frothing at the mouth, and the heat ray flew wide.

"I warned you." Celeste muttered, eyes flickering as the power coursed through her. Putting both hands over her head, circles of prepared runes flickered out around her, layering themselves deeper and deeper. This was not her spell, but it was still a great one. "Titans' thunder, heed my cry/ for if not, then we shall die/ 'twixt barren rock and broken plain/ our home and God ne'er seen again."

The green and blue snake eyes flashed, and above the building energy built.

"I didn't think I'd be worthy of your death, Celeste!" Sitri yelled as he started forming a thin sword out of demonic energy. "I'll enjoy playing with you down below, but it won't be for long!"

"From demon's wroth and bitter brew/ this gift we make to send to you/ all sin contained in package clad/ of hellspawn and devil's band"

Sitri paled. "oh"

Then the thunder came screaming down. Hitting the roof of the club, it struck through the demon's living quarters to destroy the binding seal, then coursed down around Celeste. Laughing, she walked up to Sitri, before blasting his head off in a ray of light.

"Now, let's get you home." She muttered to the poor girls still paralyzed by their master's banishment. Lightning that once burned soothed, and in a crackle of ozeone the maleficence was burned away.
 
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Dressing for Success
"Well, this is a pickle." Sona muttered. Three vitriolic Familiars were standing guard at the end of a cul-de-sac, covering all the angles. "I hate it when we get a smart Witch."

"I mean they could be garbage men?" the new girl, Pica, asked.

"First rule of a hunt, they're never just innocent bystanders. No such thing."

"I'll handle it." The other girl, Acer said. Dusting off her red and violet dress, she pulled out a combat knife from behind her back, testing the balance. "Don't hit me, please?"

"Relax; I'm not pulling the trigger until you're clear." Sona said. Nodding, Acer moved in. The Familiars turned, staring at Acer as she walked forward, an old solitaire ring on her knife-hand glittering. Hissing, the first one got ready, before letting out a piercing scream. That was the inhale. Next came the exhale, a wave of sharp acid that left smoking concrete in it's path. It struck true on Acer, burning and hissing.

"Is she nuts?" Pica asked.

"No."

The familiar laughed, right up until it noticed the girl was still walking. Two more screaming jets of acid failed to slow her approach, and then she was close enough. Reaching out, she casually grabed the shoulder of the first familiar, dragging it to the ground. Mutating under her hands, it turned more and more serpentine, until it was fully revealed as the root combination of man and snake. Then the knife came down into it's throat, and through it's spine. Acer was thourough, ripping with a too-calm precision as she butchered it and extracted the heart. Taking a bite, she smiled a bloody smile.

So horrified were the other two Familiars that they never noticed Sona and Pica casting oblivion onto them. Then came the house itself. Caught in a heated debate on how to breach and clear it, Pica and Sona didn't notice Acer's approach, heart still in hand as she ate and kicked down the door. The attached shotgun blast didn't even faze her.

"Rock salt? Really?" Acer called up. "Points for creativity, I guess?"

A hand grenade out the window was the Witch's response.

"We'll keep her from getting out." Pica yelled. "Good luck!"

The witch hadn't left her post, and moments later a bolt of ice narrowly missed Pica's head. Ducking, the junior magical girl winced.

"You idiot." Sona muttered. "Do you want to pull a Muskateer?"

"Who?"

"I'll explain after this just pay attention!"

Growling, Acer moved through the house. The kitchen was sadly clear, and the tripwire to the lighter by the leaking gas stove was too easily diffused. Then came the stairs.

"Stay back!" yelled the Witch from up top. "I'll shoot to kill!"

Acer didn't care, moving up the treads. Credit where credit was due, the greased treads didn't start until the fourth step, and it wouldn't have gotten her if there hadn't been a bowling ball thrown at her from the balcony at her back. Falling down, she groaned. Fine. Cracking her knuckles, she slammed her knife into the wall, hauling back until it caught on a stud she could haul herself up with it. Knife, stud. Knife, stud, until she finished the climb up.

The snap-crackle of a lightning bolt told Acer the Witch tried to bolt. Fat chance.

"You!" another familiar roared. "I won't let you hurt my sister!"

Turning around, Acer braced herself for the monster. A Familiar made of a stitched together child and dozens of pieces of construction equipment, it howled mournfully before powering up the drill fore-ends and pulling forth a profane sword.

"Oh. Oh dear." Acer murmured. "I'm sorry."

"DIE!" the Familiar yelled, charging. Parrying the sword, Acer was shoved into the ground by the drill trying to rip into her dress. A swing of her knife stopped that as she cut the air line, the loose pneumatic hose flying free in a havoc of cutting air. As the hose whipped around and sliced off an arm and a leg, Acer's knife flew up, right under the child's sternum to pierce it's heart. Coughing and laughing, the Familiar just tried to bite her before the blood loss killed it.

Stepping up, Acer came to the last room of the house. Inside was the Witch. Moving through the door quietly, she saw the girl, a pale memory of someone like herself. Power, corrupted, twisted and bent.

"Please. No." the Witch whispered. Acer nodded, and tucked her into the bed, smiling faintly.

Then the knife came down.
 
A Sealed Letter of Death
Sitting at the small round table were two girls, one in black and one in white.

"This is the last one I can get you." The one in white warned. "They've figured out I'm giving them away."

"I'll only need one shot." The one in black promised.

"I hope so, for your sakes."

-/-/-/

It was several days later that things finally came to a head between the Witches of the Delta and the Sirens of Pontchartrain. War was in the air and waves, as the girl in black ducked behind cypress trees and through the swamps along the north edge of the lake. If she could get back to Amite, from there it would be a short walk across the inverse of the world to reach New Orleans and her target.

"Well, ain't this'un a find!" a voice called up from up in a tree. Looking up, the girl hissed. One of the Sirens, her matte feathers dripping with gore as the wrung neck of a Familiar sat in her claws sat there, smiling a vulture's smile. "Been a fair while since I smelled me a martyr in the making!"

"The cypress swamps are neutral ground."

"Oh, don't you give your gran-mere that!" the Siren said, cackling. "At least give me a name, girly, so I don't take you out for a ride where the Three Sisters are waiting. Got 'em fresh up from mon amis in Detroit, and they be right hungry from the swim down here."

"Souvalaki." The girl in black said. "What will passage cost?"

"A bad turn against the voduns would be a good start." The Siren said. "They started this war, and it'll be the blood of them and their loa we spill to end it. Swear on a Name you'll break the first piece of gris-gris you find, I call this passage even."

"Fine." Souvalaki said. "I, Souvalaki-"

"I no said what I called you, girl." The Siren spat. "I said your Name."

"I, Marie Grant, swear to break the first piece of gris-gris I find."

The Siren cackled. "Good girl. Keep on walking now, and I might even forget what you just told me."

Shaking her head, Souvalaki just kept moving through the swamp. It wasn't long before she hit Amaris, and then it was a walk across the inverse of the world to reach New Orleans and her target.

The Vodun Witches were good, but they were still bound by ritual. It was there, in the courtyard where the morning empowerment happened, that she planted her charges. Nine inconspicuous bricks, coated in symbols and thrumming with magic, they were not out of place in the cobbled square. All that remained was finding a garret to hide in, and to wait for morning to come.

When the sun and stars brought the appointed time about, the square was full of the devout Witches and their Familiars. The Queens had been warned to keep their hands away from this fight, and no mortal man would die here today. These creatures had forsaken humanity long ago.

Quietly, then louder and louder, the singing began and the drums were beaten. Each Witch was choosing her Loa, preparing for the day's war as they sang and preened in front of their hoards. Settling down, Souvalaki pricked her finger to draw blood, and inscribed the circle on the wood of her perch.

"Let the snake's skin come and whet their cries for attention." She muttered, the spell to arm the devices warm in her hands. "Let the ashes come and clean the remains."

The trap was set; as their ritual escalated higher and higher, more and more of the Witches completed the bargains for power. Then, as the lead Witch completed her binding, the gates of the trap slammed shut. Each brick started unfolding, the hundreds of runes encapsulated in each lighting up as they raised a dome around the event. Nothing was severed, so the seniormost Witches weren't worried about it.., until their shoes were soaked in the water pouring forth. The semicircle had revealed the method of their destruction: drowning. More than a few of the younger witches charged the barrier, slamming their fists and magery at it, and the sweeping waves of cinders that erupted in response killed no few number of them.

It was about an hour before the dome's work was finished, the Witches dead and destroyed. Nodding to herself, Souvalaki dismounted her perch and got to work destroying their tools.
 
Wardjacker
(finished this piece late last night, forgot to post it)

Looking at the 'abandoned' train terminal, the strike team of magical girls scowled.

"They're dug in pretty good." Eowyn muttered. "I smell at least two machine guns, and there might be rockets."

"Lots of magical defense too." Trompdoy grumbled. "Feels like a… I want to say five-stage ward. I can't spoof it."

The other two girls winced. The initial plan was for Trompdoy to spoof the wards, break in, steal and burn everything not nailed down, and use Eowyn's Shadow Mounts to ride out before they could organize a pursuit. Now that plan was carked right proper.

"Let me take a look at it." Calypso said calmly. Stepping up to where she felt the magic tripwire, she knelt down and pulled out the pocketwatch. As the cover slid open smoothly, the hands kept ticking in true time, while the dials inside the face started spinning carefully. Scratching a quick circle in the dirt and muttering an incantation, she stared at it carefully.

"There's a way through." Calypso said carefully, staring at the sympathetically displayed ward matrix around her. "Just give me a minute to pick it out."

"You sure it'll stick" Trissa asked, squinting. "Cause that ward smells nasty."

"It's not a real strong one, just five back to back apprentice ones." Calypso explained as she felt her watch focus click into synch with the ward net. "Normally I'd have to goose-step through all the holes with about a centimeter for error, but right now? Now I have options."

As Calypso fiddled with the watch, the rest of the girls watched carefully. "Nothing on one, two is binding... no, that's a spooler, damnit, nothing on three, is four… four is not anchored to anything you fucking scrubs…"

"What in tarnation." Trissa asked.

"I'm defusing this mess of a ward now hush"

A minute later, Calypso started chuckling. "You fucking idiots. Girls, follow me!"

As the group walked straight in, Calypso kept grinning right up to the front door. "Trissa, think you can blast through?"

The young magical girl smiled. "With pleasure."

Placing her hands against the door, Trissa muttered a brief incantation, and there was heat, fire, and most of all rage that left the door asunder. Charging through after the dust settled, Eowyn pulled a sack of darts out and started throwing, each missile digging preternaturally deep into the walls of the building.

There were few guards, and fewer still when their work was done. Then came time for the pillaging. Diving into the stockpiles of treasure, there was much rejoicing- and no small amount of trepidation on Calypso's part. A trapped cache would be devastating, and before she entered each one got scanned. Not all the others were so paranoid, though, and as they were cracking into the supply areas she felt a seal go off. Turning and screaming, her hand instinctively clicked the third button on the watch. Time slowed, stopping, and it gave Calypso a chance to turn and start running.

As the grayscale world held true, the pocketwatch grew hotter and hotter. It still held long enough for her to get to Trompdoy and the slowly expanding fireball that was going to eat her alive. Going into a slide, time finally broke free it's artificial chains just as Calypso's foot hit Trompdoy's legs. It wasn't enough to get her below the blast entirely, but one burned arm was better than her whole body.

With the world returning to it's natural rhythym, an alarm started blaring.

"What the hell?" Trissa yelled, packing a sack full of cinnabar and myrrh.

"Traps on some of the caches, we gotta scram!" Calypso roared. "They'll be bringing in the combat units soon-"

"Oh shit!"

Turning around, everyone looked at the tracks, where Mistletoe had spoken for the first time today. Next to her, the train was slowly standing up and transforming into a giant combat mecha. As steam and smoke poured out of the stack, Mistletoe yelled.

"Get back! I got this!"

"Are you nuts?" Eowyn yelled. "Run!"

Moments later, Mistletoe started chanting, a spear forming in her hands. It started covered in leaves, but as her work finished it condensed itself into a bolt of gray metal, rust, and glistening explosive. As she threw it, Mistletoe yelled 'Begone' at the mechanical beast, and when it struck explosions and flames jolted out. Screaming, the train-golem clawed at it's chest, but the bolt was not stopped as it exploded into burning fragments that destroyed it's volatile innards.

"Time to go." Calypso, said, sighing. No one there was going to argue.
 
Week 10: To love a monster despite it's flaws.


The human body was a complex thing. Thousands, millions of interlocking parts mundane and magical. The separation and connection of mind, body, and soul. A seat for animus, corpus, and mentis. Destruction and damage spread like waves in a pool, rebounding off the edges and creating places of tempest and places of calm. Now, you were going to play God, and set right what had been made wrong so long ago.

The first day was spent setting up the theurgic table. You started with a slab of steel, and poured on the resins and carvings with as much freedom as you could spare, spending resources liberally to achieve the desired result. Should something happen to Joselyn short of flagrant disintegration, she could be kept alive and mostly stable. Everything was accounted for, no variable left unknown.

The second day was spent on your tools. An array of means to detect the issue, plenty of surgical equipment to perform operations and move things around, and lenses magical and mundane so you would know everything about the patient. There would be no doubt about what system you'd use to fix issues, magical and mundane.

The third day you spent in the library, studying synthesized textbooks on medicine and surgical operations. Copious notes were taken, and finally you were ready.

Then the fourth day came around, and Calypso looked at you like you were fucking nuts.

"You really think you can do anything like this?" she asked, glaring. "She's badly imbalanced, and your duct-tape cure isn't holding her together well enough. If you operate now, it could kill her!"

"If I don't operate now, it'll kill her anyway." You replied, throwing open the door to Jocelyn's room.

"There's not enough left to save!" she roared. "Look at her!"

Bundled in an old Army blanket, Joselyn was filthy. As much as Homer and Calypso had tried to keep the room clean, they had failed. Picking her frail form up, you winced at the outline of bones through the thick wool, silently promising her a bath before you got to work. Taking her down to the laboratory and setting her- still wrapped- on the table, you went out back to make some hot buckets of water. Once that was done, you got to unwrapping, and hissed.

Joselyn had been decaying faster than you thought. Parts of her were skeletal, while in other areas ropey muscle had been unraveling under her thin skin into messes of free floating snarl. Jaundace had colored her yellow, and as you washed her scalp black hair came off in your hands. The closed eyes were caked shut with mucas, and a pale layer of sweat and grease covered her, one you took off with humble care.

When that was done, you got to work. Pulling out a circlet of neurodes and aetheric wire, you affixed it to Joselyn's crown to null the pain, and got to work.

You didn't remember much of what you did as you got to work, probably for the better. There was blood, and under that was oil and ticking gears. Most of this was something you could handle, but there was an imposition. A blockade. Something stopping you, something missing that none of your artistry could recreate.

Pebbles in a pond. As the splash hits the edges, it bounces back, forming intersections of calm and of noise separate the original wave. You had tamped down the dangerous intersections with your first cure to buy time for this, but it hadn't worked. This second treatment had started work on the waves themselves, but there was too much damage, the pool of life stirred to a froth.

"Just… stop…" Joselyn muttered. Coming out of your fugue, blood up to your eyebrows, you blinked.

"What?"

"Just… stop…" she muttered. "Too much… pain."

Pursing your lips, you looked at the guts and relays, veins entangled with lines of hydraulics and clockwork portions. Ticking, your mind saw the relays and devices, and suddenly an idea came to you.

"I need your True Name." you said. "Because I have a plan."

"Already… told you…"

You smiled. "Excellent."

Going over to the bucket with your short list of parts, you got to work. Some sack-cloth, sewn to a doll in your hands preternaturally quickly. A smear of Joselyn's blood, then her hair and hydraulic oils, and finally a washer and a broken piece of a rib strut from when that sword took it's revenge. From there, you inverted the doll, filled it with rice, and stitched it shut.

"Joselyn Krazowstanskislaw." You muttered over the doll. Where there should have been eyes, there were two crosses of red thread that started to slowly turn the color of fresh blood; where there should have been a heart, the hard piece of iron began to throb.

"Joselyn Krazowstanskislaw." You spoke over the doll. Scars began to cover it, stitching so fine no mortal man could duplicate it showing the history of a life so long to be but a mote in God's eye. A mouth and nose were rendered in string and stitchery.

"Joselyn Krazowstanskislaw!" You yelled at the doll, and on the table there was a keening wail. Connection thus established, you took the doll, and placed it on a separate table, before warding it with seven small circles, a five pointed star, and a thin ring of silver.

"All this, to take away pain." You muttered, before slicing across your wrist. As blood poured into the arcane symbols, a power flit across them, before a snap and a crackle of lighting engaged them to the table. With one final scream, Joselyn fell silent, and you pursed your lips.

What you were doing was ambition deep enough for any of the girls to kill you if they figured out the degree of human experimentation that was underway. You could stop the pain, but it was entwined so deep in her that you would have to conduct a complete separation of mentis and anima from the corpus. Her mind and soul were still perfectly intact, it was merely the wasting away of the rest that was causing so much grief. You could fix it later, if you could just give her a will to live!

Thus your current, last, final step. Conjoin an operational extension of the body for Joselyn's anima to acknowledge as her own, and then put the mentis in it. Then hit that new body with as much pain nullification as you could, box up the old one… and well things got kinda shaky from there. You'd figure it out later.

"Can you hear me, Joselyn?" you asked carefully. "Did it work?"

"On one hand, the pain has stopped." Joselyn replied, chuckling dryly. "On the other hand, it's dark, I can't hear much, and I can't move at all. I feel this is a solid six of ten improvement in my status of life."

"Great!" you laughed. "I was worried my plan C wouldn't work!"

"Well what did you do?"

"I may have put you in a voodoo doll temporarily."

"Until you fix my body, right?"

"errrr…"

"You have no plan to fix my body do you."

"I plan to develop a plan to fix your body."

"A plan to develop a plan? Christ, when did you run for politics? Next thing you're telling me it'll only take five years to revolutionize the city!"

"Listen, I need to get up to speed on it! Most of my medical knowledge is 'put blood back in body' and 'don't move the broken bones!'"

"Shitty Medicine Boy!"

We both sighed for a minute. "I'll whip you up a sensory platform or something, okay?"

"Fine." Joselyn muttered. "If you can't make one, just build a synthetic net I can run around this joint in."

-/-/-/

Thursday and Friday were spent wiring the hostel for Joselyn's disembodied spirit, and Saturday was when your new moribund staffer got to meet the girls. It was breakfast, the coffee pot was dry, and the girls were arguing with sleep dreprivation from the last haul.

"Good morning!" called out the spider-like doll that served as Joselyn's avatar.

Two wands, several knifes, and a crumpet were all pointed at the fluffy spider.

"Medicine Boy. What the holy sanctified Roman flying fuck is that." Mistletoe asked, wand crackling with energy.

"I fixed Joselyn."

"You made her into a spider."

"It was a very drastic fix."

The two new girls who'd shown up looked at each other very carefully, and then at you. You waved. They waved back, clearly scared.

"Can we, er, pet it?" one of them asked.

"Pet her." Joselyn clarified, before scuttering over to their table. "And yes."

As the two new girls pet Jocelyn, Trompdoy sighed. "No new stuff to buy yet?"

"Nope." You said, shrugging. "I burned out on Jocelyn."

"tabernac." Trompdoy grumbled. "Well fine then. Still, need to tell you something's up."

"What is it?"

Trompdoy sighed, and put a small illusory map of the city on the table. "The Witches are packing up and moving out; we can't hit them anymore. The half-dozen hardpoints we know about are dug in to hell and back, and we know they're preparing to leave. Alchemists are doing the same."

You squinted at the map. "We need more data, or a way to correlate it."

"You're telling me. Knowledge is power, and we need more of it."

Nodding, you went over to get some grits. "Anyway, who are the newfaces?"

"Chevron and Mars. Found 'em poking around a Witch Circle, figured we could bring 'em here and introduce them."

"Great." You muttered. "Great."

"You are completely burned out aren't you." Trompdoy said flatly.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go take a nap."

It was not a short nap.

/-/-/-/-

Votes

Build a Tool
[] [WORK] Trinket
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 3.
[] [WORK] Wand
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 2.
[] [WORK] Bomb
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] [WORK] Costume
-[] Write in Level, between 1 and 1.
[] [WORK] No, you want to work on your building instead
[] [WORK] No, you want to improve your workshop instead.
[] [WORK] No, you want to research an item instead.

 
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