Detroit's at it again. Meet Wee Vee and Sister Sara with a brief cameo from Kentucky who may or may not appreciate her namesake's bourbon. Also, Trantos and Tenryu meet.
"Did you hear!?" Detroit exclaimed as she burst into New Mexico's room. Honed experience screamed at her, and she obeyed with a tucked roll as a wrench sailed over her.
"Damn it, Detroit; we're in the middle of delicate work!" West Virginia shouted.
"I'm in the middle of delicate work – stop fidgeting," New Mexico said from where she was crouched next to the other battleship with a welder. "And grab that wrench on your way in."
Detroit grabbed the monkey-wrench and tore it free of where it was imbedded in the wall before she skipped into the room and set the wrench down next to New Mexico while staying out of West Virginia's reach as she said, "So what does she have that you're gonna crank with that thing?"
West Virginia began to grow red in the face but was cut off when New Mexico rotated and slotted in her number four turret by the barbette. Detroit's eyes widened at the sight of the triple turret and said, "Wee Vee, have you gained weight?"
West Virginia snorted and said, "Yes, I've gained some weight."
"I doubt most women would qualify a few thousand tonnes as 'some weight,'" New Mexico said while welding a few plates despite West Virginia's shushing.
"First you take those torpedoes below the waterline and now you're gaining weight," Detroit said with a frown. "This is just like Pearl all over again. You're beam'll expand, and you won't be able to fit through the canal again let alone doors."
West Virginia snarled and tried to claw out Detroit's eyes but was firmly held in place by the docking frame attached to her rigging. She redoubled her efforts when Detroit asked, "Hey, can I convince you to name it after me?"
"I believe that you came here with news, and not to speculate whether Wee Vee is pregnant or not," New Mexico said as she finished with the welder and turned off the machine.
"But trying to figure out if Wee Vee has been ruined for marriage is more fun," Detroit whined at New Mexico before she turned back to her victim. "So, did Arizona light your fire this time too-"
There was a snap as New Mexico hit the dock's release and freed West Virginia who grabbed Detroit by the shoulders and hoisted the light cruiser into the air while she tried a last ditch change of topics by asking, "Have you heard what SoDak has done now?"
New Mexico grumbled at South Dakota's name while West Virginia froze as her mind tried to deal with the sudden shift before she said, "She released a video where Enterprise accidentally recreated the battle of Midway."
"Accidentally? I thought she intentionally weaponized those durians," New Mexico said.
"You two have heard of that but not her trip to the comic convention?" Detroit asked.
"It really isn't relevant to my interests," West Virginia said as she looked Detroit over.
"Nor mine," New Mexico said as she tidied up her workspace. "I suppose I might be interested if she incited a mob or something, but I doubt enterprise let her out of her sight long enough for that to happen."
"But, but, comic con! And you're a nerd!" Detroit said as she looked down at New Mexico from where West Virginia held her.
"There are many kinds of nerds, and as you have pointed out, I am not the sort that keeps up with pop culture," New Mexico said.
"What was the point of telling us about comic con?" West Virginia asked.
Detroit sagged in the battleship's grasp before she said, "I thought you two, or at least New Mexico, would be jealous and then we could run off to the con."
"I now have thirty-three percent more main battery firepower than SoDak," West Virginia said as she rolled her eyes before she set Detroit down. "I'm good."
"Why would I be jealous of SoDak and her desire to stay up to date with the world?" New Mexico said with a smile as she began to bend the monkey-wrench she had been putting away and her cheek twitched. "It's not like she's ever tried to reach beyond cutting edge and grasp revolutionary."
"What about ra-" Detroit began before she was cut off.
"Radar was tested and everyone who c\had the room for it got it as soon as they could!" New Mexico said as the wrench groaned under her ministrations. "Washington used it to save her ass from Kirishima!"
"I hear she's looking into hip replacement?" Detroit asked more than said as she began to hide behind West Virginia.
"Geriatric old farts get hip replacements all the goddamn time!" New Mexico shouted as she threw the wrench into the air. "There is nothing revolutionary about them!"
Her wrench was the wrench that pierced the ceiling and the roof. Kentucky's drunken cursing drifted through the hole in the ceiling as West Virginia said, "Uh, hey, who wants to blow things up at the range?"
Detroit nodded and led the way.
-*-*-*-
A half hour later, New Mexico had calmed down as she and Detroit watched West Virginia shoot at targets with her main battery. The weapons worked well, but she was still getting used to the new recoil that an additional naval rifle in each turret brought. At one point she overcompensated so much she fell on her face in the water. As it was, only firing the turrets on one side would cause her to rotate in place while a full broadside would push her back.
"I give her another hour before she figures out how to turn on the recoil dampeners and stabilizers," New Mexico said.
"Nah, I figure she'll stubborn her way into figuring out how much each salvo causes her to rotate so she can change direction without her rudder before she starts playing with the stabilizers," Detroit said as she scratched her jaw.
"Eh, either way she's going to beach herself within a half hour if she keeps puttering in the direction she's going," New Mexico said.
"As much as I want to tease her about that, I have other things to do," Detroit said.
"As do I," New Mexico said. "I wish to advance to the next tier in WoWs before the day is over."
"Eh, I like the South Carolina more than the Wyoming, so I'd put it off a bit to squeeze as much enjoyment out of it as possible," Detroit said while she stretched.
"Actually, that is my current battleship in-game," New Mexico said as she turned toward where the rec center was. "I will soon be acquiring the New York."
"What? You've been playing without me?" Detroit said before she latched onto New Mexico. "I am so proud!"
By the time they got to the computers, New Mexico had successfully dislodged the smaller ship girl. She was about to claim one of the computers when she noticed that Saratoga was playing WoWs as well.
"Low tier carrier driving, Sara?" Detroit asked as she craned over Saratoga's shoulder. "I hadn't thought that you were the trolling type."
"Actually, Langley is the only carrier I have unlocked," Sara said without looking away from the screen. "I figure I'll be able to get Bogue in a few hours."
"You should division with us," Detroit said as she smooshed her cheek into Saratoga's. "Wait. Sensually stacked sister? Really?"
"Hey, if you got it, flaunt it," Saratoga said with a smile as she straightened her shoulders and angled her chest at the screen. "And not to brag, but my sister and I are stacked."
"Fat stacks," Detroit said.
"Ah~" Saratoga crooned. "Someone's jealous that even though she's four times as stacked as me, she isn't even close to being as stacked as I am."
"Detroit, are you going to join us online or just enviously seethe on top of Sara?" New Mexico asked from her computer as she turned away from the game client.
Detroit grumbled a bit before she made her way over to an unoccupied computer and logged in.
(04:45) Tantos1_0 (Tenryu) : MM hates me. It's the only answer.
(04:45) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : MM is love, MM is life.
(04:45) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : balanced teams killed MM's parents
(04:45) TorepdoTerror (Tenryu) : It's not all bad
(04:45) QueenOfExperiments (Wyoming) : I'm following Spacy
"I guess I am as well," Detroit said as she began pushing buttons on her keyboard.
"You need to stay with Sara," New Mexico said.
"Why?" Detroit asked.
(04:46) ChuckleberryAwesome (Minekaze) : Swiggity swooty, gunna get me some carrier booty
(04:46) DirectToVideo (Aoba) : How can MM have dead parents? I am confused
(04:46) SensuallyStackedSister (Langely) : Oh no! If only there was a cruiser to protect me from the naughty destroyer
(04:46) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : it's a joke
(04:46) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : Stick with me, Trantos, we're going to use the BBs as a shield
(04:46) DirecttoVideo (Aoba) : but it doesn't make sense
(04:46) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : is that allowed? I thought we were supposed to screen them
(04:47) DirectToVideo (Aoba) : you shouldn't post things that don't make sense
(04:47) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : when you're the small fry, you use every advantage you can get
(04:47) SensuallystackedSister (Langley) : you might want to stay off the internet then
(04:47) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : as long as you drive off the enemy destroyers, I'll be happy
(04:47) QueenOfExperiments (Wyoming) : same
(04:47) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : I suppose I can do that
(04:48) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : What's it worth to you
(04:48) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : our continued survival and ability to shield you from other enemies
(04:48) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : it sounds like a good deal
(04:48) ChuckeberryAwesome has achieved First Blood
(04:48) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : tempting
(04:48) QueenOfExperiments (Wyoming) : you know you want to wrangle destroyers
(04:49) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : but I wrangle munchkins all day, and Spacy called me an oversized tin can
(04:49) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : I don't recognize your screen name
(04:49) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : I changed it
(04:49) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : after I was made aware my sister's suggestion was a dick joke
(04:49) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : oh yeah, the kindergarten hot babysitter lady born with the eye patch
(04:49) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : seriously?
(04:50) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : close enough
(04:50) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : you called my Newest Mexico fat
New Mexico blinked a few times while Detroit burst out laughing and one of the purple haired Nip light cruisers snickered a few rows away at her computer.
(04:50) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : New Mexico isn't fat
(04:50) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : she fits through the Panama Canal
(04:50) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : if that's your definition of fat, only Montana and Midway meet the criteria on the American side
(04:51) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : don't they share the same hull or something?
(04:51) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : ye
(04:51) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) has achieved Devastating Strike
(04:51) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : yes
(04:51) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : so would they be relatives?
(04:51) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : wut
(04:52) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : maybe? possibly cousins?
(04:52) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : ah, internet. never stop entertaining me.
(04:52) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : uh, does this mean it's a poor idea?
(04:52) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : no, it just means I have more ammo to pester a friend with
(04:52) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : you guys are such goofs
(04:53) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : This is no Zaku, girl. No Zaku.
(04:53) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : Neeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrd
(04:53) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : should I be concerned about this?
(04:53) QueenOfExperiments (Wyoming) : I doubt it's catching
(04:53) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : but if it is, Terror will probably catch it first since her immune system is probably overloaded trying to fight off the things the little kids keep bringing with them
(04:54) MotorCityCruise (Phoenix) : so Trantos needs to save Terror from a bunch of children before she catches Spacy's crazy?
(04:54) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : I do not need saving
(04:54) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) has achieved Devastating Strike
(04:54) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : don't need saving, eh?
(04:54) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : bah, that was just your job
(04:54) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : strong independent woman who don't need no man
(04:55) QueenOfExperiments (Wyoming) : just some BBs to save her from other CAs
(04:55) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : and Trantos to save her from the crazy
(04:55) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : actually, she's been saving me
(04:55) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : the beauty of the post-modern relationship. Ladies can save princes if they want to
(04:55) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : I will find you all and do horrible things to you
(04:55) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : except Trantos
(04:56) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : I might division with him
(04:56) MotorCitycruiser (Phoenix) : aw, young love
(04:56) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : It is not love!
(04:56) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : There's no reason to be so tsunder about it
(04:56) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : why do I even bother trying to fight the crazy?
(04:57) QueenOfExperiments (Wyoming) : okay, maybe it is catching
(04:57) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : quick! you need to get a move on, Trantos!
(04:57) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : I don't even know where she lives though
(04:57) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : no problem
(04:58) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : just ride into every daycare/kindergarten class on your trusty steed and declare your intentions to save the hot babysitter type from the kids – you'll eventually get the right one
(04:58) Trantos1_0 (Tenryu) : pretty sure that will get me arrested
(04:58) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : this is why you are the damsel in distress instead of the hero
(04:58) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : or it's why he's not in prison
(04:59) SensuallyStackedSister (Langley) : nah, it's why he isn't the hero
(04:59) MotorCityCruiser (Phoenix) : well, that dd is dead, I think I'll go out and play now
(04:59) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : nope, you get to reset the cap and spot for our cv
(04:59) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : it's the last ship, so I guess it could be important
(05:00) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : point, but I'm not getting over there in any decent amount of time
(05:00) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : so I'm going to sit here and cap
(05:00) TorpedoTerror (Tenryu) : so not only are you fat, but you're also lazy
(05:00) UNSpacy000 (New Mexico) : away with you, you 30 knot destroyer
Detroit killed the last enemy cruiser with a spread of torpedoes that was supposed to make him maneuver and lessen the number of guns he could bring to bear on her, and the match ended.
Saratoga leaned back in her chair and asked, "Ready for the next round?"