[X] Agree to go with her; you have Patchouli's mask, after all.
-
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Flandre's Quest (Touhou) World - (Madness Quest)
- Thread starter Entropy Judge
- Start date
Just hypnotise them!
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
Votes are not locked.
Any thoughts as to the first words out of Tatsuko's mouth if and when she sees Ilya?
[X] Agree to go with her; you have Patchouli's mask, after all.
5
[X] Beg off; Koakuma suggested it, and she's much more personable than you are.
1
5
[X] Beg off; Koakuma suggested it, and she's much more personable than you are.
1
[X] Agree to go with her; you have Patchouli's mask, after all.
Ilyatwo!
A Wise Hermit
Well, Sometimes.
The quest's introduction page with the Halloween colour makes this quest look like somekind of horror quest.
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
Votes are locked.
[X] Agree to go with her; you have Patchouli's mask, after all.
6
[X] Beg off; Koakuma suggested it, and she's much more personable than you are.
1
6
[X] Beg off; Koakuma suggested it, and she's much more personable than you are.
1
You know, thinking back on the first Puella run, it would have been an interesting omake AU if Junko and Madoka ended up getting pulled along with Flandre to the next world. I just think it would be fun to consider Junko's uncomfortable position of being the mother figure for the childish vampire. And that's not even getting into the ramifications when they return to Puella or meet up with Remilia.
School I
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
[X] Agree to go with her; you have Patchouli's mask, after all.
Well … you're not going to be attending school, only watching over Ilya while she's there. And it shouldn't be for more than one or two days. And it's not like they can make you do anything, right? You finally nod. "I'll go with you, Ilya." She smiles.
"Yay!" Patchouli gives you a look and your nod turns tired. You're not going to do anything stupid, you aren't going to rip peoples' arms off if they look at Ilya funny … not in public, anyway. You take out the domino mask and look at it.
"I guess we can see how well this holds up, too. This is the sort of situation it's made for, right?" Patchouli's eyebrows hitch upward slightly, as if she didn't expect you to have remembered to bring it, but she nods. Ilya leans forward interestedly.
"What is that?" You look at Patchouli; better if she explains it properly to begin with than for her to correct you on some meaningless distinction that's important to her.
"It will mask her appearance from people who don't know who she is, so she will not appear out of the ordinary. It won't remove her wings, of course - so you'll have to keep track of what they're doing - but people won't notice them or anything else unnatural about her appearance so long as she doesn't break the enchantment herself by using too much power." Ilya's eyes widen slightly as she stares at the mask. Is it so unusual? Or is it just that you and Patchouli aren't treating it as something that took effort to obtain? Something else? "Anyway, why don't you go down and make sure the staff knows we're here?" You look up, but Patchouli isn't talking to you. Koakuma bows and walks to the door. "And you should get ready for tomorrow if you're going to see Illyasviel's school. There should be a bath over there. Just don't leave this floor unless you let me know first." Ilya looks at you again as Sella wheels her toward the bathroom. You nod and smile.
"I'll be right there, Ilya." She nods, satisfied, and you turn back to Patchouli. "Is there anything in particular I should know?" She frowns.
"Don't let Illyasviel be taken to the infirmary at the school. It won't be impossible to mitigate, but I would rather not have to deal with her and her allies. If something does happen, just get outside and start taking her back here." You nod as Leysritt sits in a chair near the door, halberd at the ready. Paranoia, or nothing better to do? Patchouli sighs and looks at you. "If everything goes wrong and you do have to fight them, take the other girl out of the fight as soon as possible - steal her stick, throw it far away, whatever you feel is necessary. She is a very capable fighter, and she has the Lancer Card." You start to tilt your head, then narrow your eyes.
"Lancer - Cú Chulainn?" She nods and you clench your teeth. You can survive that spear if you have to, and Berserker will be fine if she attacks him with it … but Ilya won't be. Yes, if it comes to a fight, you'll deal with her ….
"Flan!" You shake your head at Ilya's call, but before you can say anything else to Patchouli she turns away and begins the usual fast-paced muttering she uses when casting many spells. Time to take care of your friend.
You push Ilya's wheelchair along the walkway to the school's main entrance. There are a few children around, and while most don't pay any attention to you, a few stare at Ilya. You scowl at some of them, but she takes it all in stride.
"Upset that we aren't going with the plan to just show up in the class and not tell anyone?" You shake your head and Ilya giggles.
"No, I just … don't like school. At all."
"Hmm? You don't like learning?" You frown down at her.
"I didn't say that. Although it is true that most of what I'm 'supposed' to learn is pretty useless. But school is … it's all rules and learning specific, usually unimportant things." Ilya considers your answer as you frighten off another pair of students.
"Have you ever been to a school?" You make a triumphant noise.
"Nope! Not as a student, anyway - and I'm not going to, because I'm perfectly well-educated and I'm old enough to learn on my own." Ilya sighs and reaches up to pat your head.
"Did Remilia teach you everything?" You shake your head as you lift the wheelchair up to the interior section of the school. A student stares at you, mouth hanging open, until she realizes that you're staring at her in that particularly predatory way and runs off. Ilya sighs again.
"No. She taught me a lot, and I learned a lot just by listening to her when she was talking about things while doing them, but she hired some tutors for specific things, and then Patchouli gave me lessons after she started living with us." You look around for the main office. It should be ….
"Is that why you two don't get along?" You shrug as you push her along toward the office.
"Maybe. Some of it's just different personalities and ways of doing things. I think there's something about me, specifically, that irritates her on some level, though. But Remilia doesn't like it when we fight, so we usually try to keep out of each other's way. Ah, there we are." You adjust the blanket around Ilya and she squirms as if you'd tickled her. "Ilya." She pouts but settles down.
"Flan, it's okay. Nothing's going to happen, and we're just here to engage in cross-cultural examinations. And maybe have some fun." Your head bobs up and down and Ilya sighs.
"I'll … try." You give her a hug and she nuzzles your cheek. "But now it's time to meet the teacher, right?"
"Yep!" She nods brightly after you release her and you scoot around to push the wheelchair to the office, then knock on the door.
"Just a minute!" The voice is slightly muffled but - unfortunately - easily understood, and you settle behind the wheelchair to wait. Fortunately, the door opens quickly and a familiar-looking brown-haired woman looks out at you. "Ah? Illyasviel? And …." She frowns at you, trying to recognize you, then looks back at Ilya and tilts her head. "… Illyasviel?" Ilya nods.
"Yes, my name is Illyasviel von Einzbern. Do you mind if we come in?" The woman stares at you, confused, then hops back and babbles incoherently for a few seconds. "Your name is … ah, Taiga Fujimura?"
"Ah … yes, but … um, you …?" Ilya chuckles.
"Illyasviel is a student here, correct? We are … distant cousins, although I'm not sure how much she knows about me. She probably hasn't talked about her family much." Taiga shakes her head numbly. "Well, I'm in the city to meet with someone, and since we're here, I hoped it would be possible to do a little visit and see how schools here operate."
"Ah, well … um, this is a very short notice …." She looks around the room, probably hoping that someone else is there to help her make the decision, but it looks like she's alone for the moment. "Um, could I perhaps speak with your guardian?" Ilya pauses for a moment before laughing.
"Oh, I'm traveling on my own. Well, with Flan, of course, but - ah, could you just show her it?" You take the small wallet from the holder on the wheelchair and walk around to Taiga, then show her the passport and identification cards. You aren't sure if Patchouli faked them completely or if she just altered some real ones, but they should work for anything you need them to. She studies the documents and looks at Ilya incredulously.
"You're eighteen?!" Ilya smiles sadly and nods.
"A … genetic defect." Taiga stiffens and nods, suddenly very awkward instead of simply confused.
"Um, is that the reason for the wheelchair, too?" Ilya shakes her head as you take the cards back from Taiga.
"Oh, no. I was in an accident and lost my right arm and leg." She reaches up to dislodge the blanket, and Taiga goes white. She almost drops into the chair she was standing over as you put the blanket back over Ilya and tuck it in so it won't be easily tugged out. "And I know this is terribly short notice, but I wasn't sure where I'd be meeting my friend. I don't think I'll be in town for more than a day or two, either, so this is pretty much my only chance." After a few seconds Taiga recovers a little, shaking herself and smiling at Ilya.
"Right, yes. Um, I'm sure there's some paperwork around here that you're supposed to fill out, but …." She grabs a blank sheet of paper and begins scratching madly. "I'll just write a quick note, and if you can sign it then we'll count it as done, okay?" You glance at Ilya while the teacher is distracted, but she just nods, so you undo the blanket so she has her hand free. Taiga slips the piece of paper onto a clipboard and holds it out before freezing, suddenly aware that she's asking someone who lost an arm to sign something. Her lip twitches and you're pretty sure she's about to get emotional, but Ilya smiles and you take the clipboard from the teacher.
"It's okay. I can write with this hand." Taiga's mouth works for a moment as you hold the clipboard for Ilya to sign, but she finally simply nods without saying anything. "And … there. Is there anything else?" Taiga takes the clipboard from you, glances at Ilya's signature, and puts the sheet of paper in a drawer. She smiles weirdly at Ilya - she means well, but the situation is just too much for her, it seems.
"Ah, no, that should be it. Um, just a moment, let me get my things …." She stares at her desk, almost in a daze, then shakes herself and takes up a stack of papers and a bag. "This way - oh, the key!" She scrambles back into the office and rifles through another desk before walking up to you with a small key. "It's for the elevator! Very important!" You follow her through the halls to the elevator and take it up. When you leave it, she hands the key to you. "Just remember to return it before you leave, okay?" She takes you to a classroom and stands outside the door, suddenly looking very nervous again. "Um, just wait here for a moment, please. I have to let them know someone will be watching." You and Ilya nod politely and she enters the classroom. There's a short introduction ceremony before she starts explaining that you'll be there and that everyone needs to be on their best behavior. The amount of emphasis she uses makes you wonder if she's actually talking to a specific person, but soon enough she calls for you to come in. You edge the door open with your foot and back the chair into the room before spinning it around so Ilya can see everyone's reaction. You look and find the two girls you're interested in, the local Illya and her friend Miyu. Illya stares at you, mouth hanging, but Miyu is glaring.
"Ah! It's Illya's evil twin from another dimension, come here to take her place!" The room freezes as a runty blonde girl leaps to her feet and points at Ilya. Taiga looks torn between humiliation and true anger … but you're pretty sure you can get to the little girl before she can, even without breaking the mask's glamour.
What do you do?
[ ] Get in the girl's face and terrify her.
[ ] Throw something at her.
[ ] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
[ ] Other?
DM Note: Considering how frequently I use the term 'blonde,' you'd think I wouldn't need to check Wikipedia to see if I'm using the right term each time. :/
Happy Halloween, everyone!
Well … you're not going to be attending school, only watching over Ilya while she's there. And it shouldn't be for more than one or two days. And it's not like they can make you do anything, right? You finally nod. "I'll go with you, Ilya." She smiles.
"Yay!" Patchouli gives you a look and your nod turns tired. You're not going to do anything stupid, you aren't going to rip peoples' arms off if they look at Ilya funny … not in public, anyway. You take out the domino mask and look at it.
"I guess we can see how well this holds up, too. This is the sort of situation it's made for, right?" Patchouli's eyebrows hitch upward slightly, as if she didn't expect you to have remembered to bring it, but she nods. Ilya leans forward interestedly.
"What is that?" You look at Patchouli; better if she explains it properly to begin with than for her to correct you on some meaningless distinction that's important to her.
"It will mask her appearance from people who don't know who she is, so she will not appear out of the ordinary. It won't remove her wings, of course - so you'll have to keep track of what they're doing - but people won't notice them or anything else unnatural about her appearance so long as she doesn't break the enchantment herself by using too much power." Ilya's eyes widen slightly as she stares at the mask. Is it so unusual? Or is it just that you and Patchouli aren't treating it as something that took effort to obtain? Something else? "Anyway, why don't you go down and make sure the staff knows we're here?" You look up, but Patchouli isn't talking to you. Koakuma bows and walks to the door. "And you should get ready for tomorrow if you're going to see Illyasviel's school. There should be a bath over there. Just don't leave this floor unless you let me know first." Ilya looks at you again as Sella wheels her toward the bathroom. You nod and smile.
"I'll be right there, Ilya." She nods, satisfied, and you turn back to Patchouli. "Is there anything in particular I should know?" She frowns.
"Don't let Illyasviel be taken to the infirmary at the school. It won't be impossible to mitigate, but I would rather not have to deal with her and her allies. If something does happen, just get outside and start taking her back here." You nod as Leysritt sits in a chair near the door, halberd at the ready. Paranoia, or nothing better to do? Patchouli sighs and looks at you. "If everything goes wrong and you do have to fight them, take the other girl out of the fight as soon as possible - steal her stick, throw it far away, whatever you feel is necessary. She is a very capable fighter, and she has the Lancer Card." You start to tilt your head, then narrow your eyes.
"Lancer - Cú Chulainn?" She nods and you clench your teeth. You can survive that spear if you have to, and Berserker will be fine if she attacks him with it … but Ilya won't be. Yes, if it comes to a fight, you'll deal with her ….
"Flan!" You shake your head at Ilya's call, but before you can say anything else to Patchouli she turns away and begins the usual fast-paced muttering she uses when casting many spells. Time to take care of your friend.
You push Ilya's wheelchair along the walkway to the school's main entrance. There are a few children around, and while most don't pay any attention to you, a few stare at Ilya. You scowl at some of them, but she takes it all in stride.
"Upset that we aren't going with the plan to just show up in the class and not tell anyone?" You shake your head and Ilya giggles.
"No, I just … don't like school. At all."
"Hmm? You don't like learning?" You frown down at her.
"I didn't say that. Although it is true that most of what I'm 'supposed' to learn is pretty useless. But school is … it's all rules and learning specific, usually unimportant things." Ilya considers your answer as you frighten off another pair of students.
"Have you ever been to a school?" You make a triumphant noise.
"Nope! Not as a student, anyway - and I'm not going to, because I'm perfectly well-educated and I'm old enough to learn on my own." Ilya sighs and reaches up to pat your head.
"Did Remilia teach you everything?" You shake your head as you lift the wheelchair up to the interior section of the school. A student stares at you, mouth hanging open, until she realizes that you're staring at her in that particularly predatory way and runs off. Ilya sighs again.
"No. She taught me a lot, and I learned a lot just by listening to her when she was talking about things while doing them, but she hired some tutors for specific things, and then Patchouli gave me lessons after she started living with us." You look around for the main office. It should be ….
"Is that why you two don't get along?" You shrug as you push her along toward the office.
"Maybe. Some of it's just different personalities and ways of doing things. I think there's something about me, specifically, that irritates her on some level, though. But Remilia doesn't like it when we fight, so we usually try to keep out of each other's way. Ah, there we are." You adjust the blanket around Ilya and she squirms as if you'd tickled her. "Ilya." She pouts but settles down.
"Flan, it's okay. Nothing's going to happen, and we're just here to engage in cross-cultural examinations. And maybe have some fun." Your head bobs up and down and Ilya sighs.
"I'll … try." You give her a hug and she nuzzles your cheek. "But now it's time to meet the teacher, right?"
"Yep!" She nods brightly after you release her and you scoot around to push the wheelchair to the office, then knock on the door.
"Just a minute!" The voice is slightly muffled but - unfortunately - easily understood, and you settle behind the wheelchair to wait. Fortunately, the door opens quickly and a familiar-looking brown-haired woman looks out at you. "Ah? Illyasviel? And …." She frowns at you, trying to recognize you, then looks back at Ilya and tilts her head. "… Illyasviel?" Ilya nods.
"Yes, my name is Illyasviel von Einzbern. Do you mind if we come in?" The woman stares at you, confused, then hops back and babbles incoherently for a few seconds. "Your name is … ah, Taiga Fujimura?"
"Ah … yes, but … um, you …?" Ilya chuckles.
"Illyasviel is a student here, correct? We are … distant cousins, although I'm not sure how much she knows about me. She probably hasn't talked about her family much." Taiga shakes her head numbly. "Well, I'm in the city to meet with someone, and since we're here, I hoped it would be possible to do a little visit and see how schools here operate."
"Ah, well … um, this is a very short notice …." She looks around the room, probably hoping that someone else is there to help her make the decision, but it looks like she's alone for the moment. "Um, could I perhaps speak with your guardian?" Ilya pauses for a moment before laughing.
"Oh, I'm traveling on my own. Well, with Flan, of course, but - ah, could you just show her it?" You take the small wallet from the holder on the wheelchair and walk around to Taiga, then show her the passport and identification cards. You aren't sure if Patchouli faked them completely or if she just altered some real ones, but they should work for anything you need them to. She studies the documents and looks at Ilya incredulously.
"You're eighteen?!" Ilya smiles sadly and nods.
"A … genetic defect." Taiga stiffens and nods, suddenly very awkward instead of simply confused.
"Um, is that the reason for the wheelchair, too?" Ilya shakes her head as you take the cards back from Taiga.
"Oh, no. I was in an accident and lost my right arm and leg." She reaches up to dislodge the blanket, and Taiga goes white. She almost drops into the chair she was standing over as you put the blanket back over Ilya and tuck it in so it won't be easily tugged out. "And I know this is terribly short notice, but I wasn't sure where I'd be meeting my friend. I don't think I'll be in town for more than a day or two, either, so this is pretty much my only chance." After a few seconds Taiga recovers a little, shaking herself and smiling at Ilya.
"Right, yes. Um, I'm sure there's some paperwork around here that you're supposed to fill out, but …." She grabs a blank sheet of paper and begins scratching madly. "I'll just write a quick note, and if you can sign it then we'll count it as done, okay?" You glance at Ilya while the teacher is distracted, but she just nods, so you undo the blanket so she has her hand free. Taiga slips the piece of paper onto a clipboard and holds it out before freezing, suddenly aware that she's asking someone who lost an arm to sign something. Her lip twitches and you're pretty sure she's about to get emotional, but Ilya smiles and you take the clipboard from the teacher.
"It's okay. I can write with this hand." Taiga's mouth works for a moment as you hold the clipboard for Ilya to sign, but she finally simply nods without saying anything. "And … there. Is there anything else?" Taiga takes the clipboard from you, glances at Ilya's signature, and puts the sheet of paper in a drawer. She smiles weirdly at Ilya - she means well, but the situation is just too much for her, it seems.
"Ah, no, that should be it. Um, just a moment, let me get my things …." She stares at her desk, almost in a daze, then shakes herself and takes up a stack of papers and a bag. "This way - oh, the key!" She scrambles back into the office and rifles through another desk before walking up to you with a small key. "It's for the elevator! Very important!" You follow her through the halls to the elevator and take it up. When you leave it, she hands the key to you. "Just remember to return it before you leave, okay?" She takes you to a classroom and stands outside the door, suddenly looking very nervous again. "Um, just wait here for a moment, please. I have to let them know someone will be watching." You and Ilya nod politely and she enters the classroom. There's a short introduction ceremony before she starts explaining that you'll be there and that everyone needs to be on their best behavior. The amount of emphasis she uses makes you wonder if she's actually talking to a specific person, but soon enough she calls for you to come in. You edge the door open with your foot and back the chair into the room before spinning it around so Ilya can see everyone's reaction. You look and find the two girls you're interested in, the local Illya and her friend Miyu. Illya stares at you, mouth hanging, but Miyu is glaring.
"Ah! It's Illya's evil twin from another dimension, come here to take her place!" The room freezes as a runty blonde girl leaps to her feet and points at Ilya. Taiga looks torn between humiliation and true anger … but you're pretty sure you can get to the little girl before she can, even without breaking the mask's glamour.
What do you do?
[ ] Get in the girl's face and terrify her.
[ ] Throw something at her.
[ ] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
[ ] Other?
DM Note: Considering how frequently I use the term 'blonde,' you'd think I wouldn't need to check Wikipedia to see if I'm using the right term each time. :/
Happy Halloween, everyone!
Motile Mollusc
Bitten by a radioactive were-tilde
- Location
- Here
Is this something like chalk, or a book, or is it 'desk'?
... Do we still have that head lying around in our storage?
[x] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
Fitting in~ Not hard at all~
Until we snap, and kill them all~
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
Small and handy, yes. And ... yes, it seems that Mami's head is still going along for the ride. (You'll have to write-in to throw that, though.)Is this something like chalk, or a book, or is it 'desk'?
... Do we still have that head lying around in our storage?
asdx
Superior Sword Fairy
- Location
- Texas.
And now I'm thinking it's gonna be a brick.[X] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
ultima333
Lazy Snug Youkai
[X] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
Deep breaths, Flan. Remember, some people really are that dumb and insensitive. Like that ice fairy from the lake.
Besides, Illya hasn't asked you to dismember her yet, so it'd be rude to do so on the trip meant for her.
Deep breaths, Flan. Remember, some people really are that dumb and insensitive. Like that ice fairy from the lake.
Besides, Illya hasn't asked you to dismember her yet, so it'd be rude to do so on the trip meant for her.
- Location
- Voidbetweenstars
Because ours has set a literal demigod at people and the other hasn't? (I rather not lie after all
)[X] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
Motile Mollusc
Bitten by a radioactive were-tilde
- Location
- Here
Clearly, the solution is that they are both the evil twin.
asdx
Superior Sword Fairy
- Location
- Texas.
Because it kina ends up being 'No u!'. And seems rather boring and Ooc, as Flandre would probably much rather beat the girl to death with her own arms.
A Wise Hermit
Well, Sometimes.
[X] Remain silent and let the teacher handle it.
Let's go along with the jest. I revise my vote. Let's deal with this carefully.
Last edited:
- Location
- Voidbetweenstars
Who says she's jesting?
A Wise Hermit
Well, Sometimes.
Eh, Because it sounds like something kids (I) would jest about in that situation.
SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
Hey, to be fair, the Ilya that just entered is this Ilya's evil twin from another dimension. She just doesn't (yet) plan on taking her place.
Scarlet Devil's View
Entropy Judge
Recurring Bouts of Misanthropy
Well ... given that it's quite possible to argue that Prisma!Illya (...) is actually a changeling and therefore the 'evil twin' of her own universe ....
Not that Flan has that information; she 'knows about' Kuro/Chloe/Illya 1.0/Whatever's-fashionable-these-days, but only in the sense that she knows 'something' exists inside Illya that isn't necessarily detrimental to Flan and Ilya's efforts.
Votes are not locked.
[X] Try to let it go and let the teacher handle it.
4
[X] yell back that the other illya is obviously the evil twin and not our one.
2
[X] Remain silent and let the teacher handle it.
1
4
[X] yell back that the other illya is obviously the evil twin and not our one.
2
[X] Remain silent and let the teacher handle it.
1
"… If you don't mind my asking, what's your philosophy?" Remilia frowned at Deis as the sorceress floated unsteadily up the bookshelf, placing books and scrolls where they belonged. "I mean, I think I get Flandre pretty well, but you're … you're a little different from her." Remilia laughed and looked at the suit of armor - the sort-of tsukumogami called Ershin - that pulled the cart full of books below them.
"Different from Flandre … yes, I suppose I am." Deis faltered, almost dropping the book she was holding, and looked nervously at the vampire sitting on the shelf behind her.
"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to …." She trailed off and Remilia laughed, waving her hand uncaringly.
"Oh, no, that's probably the best way to phrase it, really. Hmm …." She frowned in thought and Deis turned back to her work. "That book's upside down." The sorceress frowned and looked down at the book's title.
"No it isn't." Remilia snorted.
"Really? You can read the title?" Deis looked at her and tapped the translating glasses she'd been given. "Flip it over." She smiled as the sorceress did so, shifting into a smug grin as her house-guest turned the book over several times before finally opening the book to read the first few pages.
"Alright, it's upside down." Shaking her head, Deis oriented the book correctly and started to put the book on the shelf, then turned back to the vampire. "… It doesn't go in this section, does it?"
"Nope!" Deis shook her head as Remilia laughed merrily.
"And you'd have let me put it there if I hadn't asked, wouldn't you?" She scowled at Remilia, who shrugged it off.
"Of course." Remilia's smile faded and she seemed to be looking into the distance. "Flandre is fundamentally an honest person, really. Very direct - oh, she can lie and be sneaky when she thinks it's more likely to get what she wants, but her …. Well, I say 'nature,' but I'm not sure it's all her …. Anyway, she's not the sort of person to make complicated plans or really use misdirection. She's blunt about what she wants, and doesn't appreciate people not being as truthful with her." Deis nodded and held herself still as a gust of wind carried the book back down to the cart.
"And you aren't?" Remilia smiled at her.
"Oh, I'm a liar and a cheat, and I'm lazy to boot. I'm a warrior and a warlord, a witch and a murderer and a thief. I'm a seductress and a confidence artist, a robber queen and a coward, treacherous and fraudulent. More, and worse besides." She tilted her head at the stunned sorceress. "Do you find something wrong with those descriptions?" Deis numbly nodded.
"Yes! I mean … that's nothing like what Flandre describes you as, and not like what I've figured out about you!" Remilia laughed at the obviously flustered sorceress and dropped to the floor level to peer at Ershin. Deis slowly followed.
"I wouldn't say they're wrong. At least, not from the perspectives of the humans who called me those names. But then, the real problem with them calling me that is the same problem with calling you a hedonist." Deis frowned, digging through her memory for the term. "A human philosophy that says that people will seek to maximize their pleasure and minimize their pain."
"… Isn't that the normal way of doing things?" Remilia shrugged and skipped to the side before turning to look at her.
"Hedonists believe that maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain are the only motivators for human actions, and that all decisions are based on those motivators alone. Did you catch the key word, Deis?" She waited for a moment as the sorceress frowned. "Human. I am not human, and neither are you. You're close, to be sure, but unless you adopt a human philosophy you're still inherently apart from it. And I am absolutely not a human, nor do I follow their values. What I do, I do because I want to." Deis frowned at her and looked around.
"I'm not sure I follow." Remilia laughed chillingly and looked up at the seemingly-limitless ceiling.
"Why do I surround myself with human notions of aesthetics, associate with my inferiors, and tolerate open and deliberate threats and insults? Because I choose to, Deis." She took a deep breath. "Did you know that I promised Reimu that I would help protect Gensokyo so long as she still lived, would not act in a manner that threatened it? I swore an oath, wrote up a devil's contract. Do you know what I would do if some of those fools out there harmed my sister? Gensokyo would die. I would unleash hundreds of thousands of flesh-eating creatures, sorceries unimaginable by humans, distortions of the realities of the world, its rules. Honor, pride, my word? Dust on the wind matters more to me than those when it is my sister that is at stake. I was not happy with Patchouli when she let her find the portals before everything was ready. I intend, in the fullness of time, to break through to Tamriel and pay back Mephala and Akatosh for their insults to my sister." Deis stared at the creature floating before her, mesmerized by the power playing about her and unable to look away. "Youkai are the nightmares of humanity, the forces of Chaos given shape to oppose the Order that humans need to thrive, but youkai are bound. They do not change on their own, and they are restricted in their actions, abilities, and thoughts because they are given form by humans and so are of humanity. Monsters exist, and youkai exist because of human stories. And in human stories, monsters can be beaten."
"… But … but you're a youkai, too. Aren't you?" The thing that called itself Remilia Scarlet grinned toothily.
"That is the conventional wisdom, yes. Vampires have weaknesses. They can be killed, even by humans. But we are not youkai - human faith and imagination no longer is required to sustain us. We have no need of a Gensokyo to survive. And while Gensokyo is pleasant enough, it is nothing more than another place, its denizens just another group of things." Deis shook herself as if waking from a daydream. "What I do, I do because I want to. That is what vampires are - some youkai uphold order, and some seek to overthrow it; some exist outside social structures, and others are ignorant of them. Vampires alone get to choose." Deis shook her head.
"That makes you hardly seem like youkai, then. You're … a lot like humans, really." Remilia laughed.
"Careful! There was a human philosopher several centuries ago who came to that conclusion. He even published a short treatise about how both magicians and vampires were 'evolutions' of humanity … and that magicians were obviously superior while vampires were a throwback to the days of barbarism and such. Needless to say, his mansion was razed, salted, his family crucified, and seventy percent of his flesh was found scattered over his lands, along with most of the more insignificant bones. I believe the authorities called it an Act of God and refused to investigate further." She giggled and Deis sighed and shook her head. Then Remilia looked up, eyes narrow.
"Is something wrong?" Remilia blinked and spun around.
"Come with me," she said as she began walking back toward the library's exit. Deis glanced at Ershin and shrugged before following the vampire, wondering what had soured her mood.
"Different from Flandre … yes, I suppose I am." Deis faltered, almost dropping the book she was holding, and looked nervously at the vampire sitting on the shelf behind her.
"Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to …." She trailed off and Remilia laughed, waving her hand uncaringly.
"Oh, no, that's probably the best way to phrase it, really. Hmm …." She frowned in thought and Deis turned back to her work. "That book's upside down." The sorceress frowned and looked down at the book's title.
"No it isn't." Remilia snorted.
"Really? You can read the title?" Deis looked at her and tapped the translating glasses she'd been given. "Flip it over." She smiled as the sorceress did so, shifting into a smug grin as her house-guest turned the book over several times before finally opening the book to read the first few pages.
"Alright, it's upside down." Shaking her head, Deis oriented the book correctly and started to put the book on the shelf, then turned back to the vampire. "… It doesn't go in this section, does it?"
"Nope!" Deis shook her head as Remilia laughed merrily.
"And you'd have let me put it there if I hadn't asked, wouldn't you?" She scowled at Remilia, who shrugged it off.
"Of course." Remilia's smile faded and she seemed to be looking into the distance. "Flandre is fundamentally an honest person, really. Very direct - oh, she can lie and be sneaky when she thinks it's more likely to get what she wants, but her …. Well, I say 'nature,' but I'm not sure it's all her …. Anyway, she's not the sort of person to make complicated plans or really use misdirection. She's blunt about what she wants, and doesn't appreciate people not being as truthful with her." Deis nodded and held herself still as a gust of wind carried the book back down to the cart.
"And you aren't?" Remilia smiled at her.
"Oh, I'm a liar and a cheat, and I'm lazy to boot. I'm a warrior and a warlord, a witch and a murderer and a thief. I'm a seductress and a confidence artist, a robber queen and a coward, treacherous and fraudulent. More, and worse besides." She tilted her head at the stunned sorceress. "Do you find something wrong with those descriptions?" Deis numbly nodded.
"Yes! I mean … that's nothing like what Flandre describes you as, and not like what I've figured out about you!" Remilia laughed at the obviously flustered sorceress and dropped to the floor level to peer at Ershin. Deis slowly followed.
"I wouldn't say they're wrong. At least, not from the perspectives of the humans who called me those names. But then, the real problem with them calling me that is the same problem with calling you a hedonist." Deis frowned, digging through her memory for the term. "A human philosophy that says that people will seek to maximize their pleasure and minimize their pain."
"… Isn't that the normal way of doing things?" Remilia shrugged and skipped to the side before turning to look at her.
"Hedonists believe that maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain are the only motivators for human actions, and that all decisions are based on those motivators alone. Did you catch the key word, Deis?" She waited for a moment as the sorceress frowned. "Human. I am not human, and neither are you. You're close, to be sure, but unless you adopt a human philosophy you're still inherently apart from it. And I am absolutely not a human, nor do I follow their values. What I do, I do because I want to." Deis frowned at her and looked around.
"I'm not sure I follow." Remilia laughed chillingly and looked up at the seemingly-limitless ceiling.
"Why do I surround myself with human notions of aesthetics, associate with my inferiors, and tolerate open and deliberate threats and insults? Because I choose to, Deis." She took a deep breath. "Did you know that I promised Reimu that I would help protect Gensokyo so long as she still lived, would not act in a manner that threatened it? I swore an oath, wrote up a devil's contract. Do you know what I would do if some of those fools out there harmed my sister? Gensokyo would die. I would unleash hundreds of thousands of flesh-eating creatures, sorceries unimaginable by humans, distortions of the realities of the world, its rules. Honor, pride, my word? Dust on the wind matters more to me than those when it is my sister that is at stake. I was not happy with Patchouli when she let her find the portals before everything was ready. I intend, in the fullness of time, to break through to Tamriel and pay back Mephala and Akatosh for their insults to my sister." Deis stared at the creature floating before her, mesmerized by the power playing about her and unable to look away. "Youkai are the nightmares of humanity, the forces of Chaos given shape to oppose the Order that humans need to thrive, but youkai are bound. They do not change on their own, and they are restricted in their actions, abilities, and thoughts because they are given form by humans and so are of humanity. Monsters exist, and youkai exist because of human stories. And in human stories, monsters can be beaten."
"… But … but you're a youkai, too. Aren't you?" The thing that called itself Remilia Scarlet grinned toothily.
"That is the conventional wisdom, yes. Vampires have weaknesses. They can be killed, even by humans. But we are not youkai - human faith and imagination no longer is required to sustain us. We have no need of a Gensokyo to survive. And while Gensokyo is pleasant enough, it is nothing more than another place, its denizens just another group of things." Deis shook herself as if waking from a daydream. "What I do, I do because I want to. That is what vampires are - some youkai uphold order, and some seek to overthrow it; some exist outside social structures, and others are ignorant of them. Vampires alone get to choose." Deis shook her head.
"That makes you hardly seem like youkai, then. You're … a lot like humans, really." Remilia laughed.
"Careful! There was a human philosopher several centuries ago who came to that conclusion. He even published a short treatise about how both magicians and vampires were 'evolutions' of humanity … and that magicians were obviously superior while vampires were a throwback to the days of barbarism and such. Needless to say, his mansion was razed, salted, his family crucified, and seventy percent of his flesh was found scattered over his lands, along with most of the more insignificant bones. I believe the authorities called it an Act of God and refused to investigate further." She giggled and Deis sighed and shook her head. Then Remilia looked up, eyes narrow.
"Is something wrong?" Remilia blinked and spun around.
"Come with me," she said as she began walking back toward the library's exit. Deis glanced at Ershin and shrugged before following the vampire, wondering what had soured her mood.
I think I've got a rough draft of that treatise around somewhere, still. A long time ago (... early last year, I think) I'd gotten it into my head that it would be nice to toss in selections from books in Patchouli's library to give in-universe thoughts and perspectives on some things that exist. I also very quickly came to the conclusion that it would be a lot of work and that actually updating the Quest was more important (and that actual Quest-relevant omakes were more important), so it got set on one of the many back burners I'm using for ideas and left to simmer.
