I don't know what the "Vegas Challenge" is; googling just gets me a golf tournament. But from context I expect the realistic answer is "murder", a lot of the time.
And submitting to this kind of evil isn't a happy ending, either.
Fencer's Plot Bunnies
And submitting to this kind of evil isn't a happy ending, either.
Fencer
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The Vegas challenge goes like this 15-17 year old harry goes to vegas. Gets drunk. Wakes up in bed with one or more girls from another fandom and because of magic there are no annulments. Normally written by horny fan service shits the girls almost instantly decide this is awesome and Harry is fine with it because he's getting laid. It's usually terrible. Silently Watches wrote the only version I've read that I would recommend.
So yeah it's a train wreck but I know that. I don't like how it's normally done. So they woke up separate and clothed. There are stipulations involved that protect Taylor. If she says no Harry damn well better listen or he's going to be testing his pain tolerance. They can both blame Tonks because she roped them into her plan to nail Lupin's feet to the floor when she's supposed to be an adult chaperone. Taylor can blame Contessa because it's pretty clearly her fault. Harry as proved by not getting murdered by magic didn't set out to take advantage of her or force her into anything. Given the prompt involved I'd say I did a hell of a job toning it down.
verycoolname
Not actually cool
It's a Harry Potter fanfic prompt-challenge-thingy that can be summed up as 'Harry goes on vacation in Vegas, gets drunk, and accidentally gets married/engaged to someone.' Going by your reaction to this snippet, I doubt you'd like the fics inspired by the prompt. When a fic like this is well-written, Two people manage to wring lemonade from the lemons and find the silver lining on a silver-less cloud. I like those. Most of them aren't that well written and piss me off, so I can only imagine your reaction.
I'd keep arguing that this isn't as bad as you seem to think it is, but this is obviously a hot button for you, and I don't want to keep playing devil's advocate. Because yes, you are right. This is absolutely shitty and the only reason it isn't actually evil is because it is an accident. That doesn't mean the two of them should just give up and resign themselves to a lifetime of unhappiness, though.
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- United States
I want more, so, so much more. It is a silly idea and a fun read and it is not super girl.
Tonks looks especially bad in that it was pre-planned. She set up from the start to force one marriage, that could not be annulled, and even had protections so she couldn't be retaliated against by Remus. As someone who was in law enforcement.
The only thing that she might be able to argue is that she didn't plan from the start to get Harry married. Which isn't much considering that she pre-arranged a wedding that would allow getting permanently and irreversibly married drunk, while only requiring one person to confirm it. But that can be hand waved easily with just how the Magical World works. I mean, with how Harry got forced into the TriWizard tournament, it's not like there isn't precedent for that kind of thing to happen.
And it could have gone so much worse, given that Tonks was drunk and might have accidentally missed Remus entirely. (Actually, does one of the answers to this challenge have something like that happen? Where even the intentional one just flopped?)
The only thing that she might be able to argue is that she didn't plan from the start to get Harry married. Which isn't much considering that she pre-arranged a wedding that would allow getting permanently and irreversibly married drunk, while only requiring one person to confirm it. But that can be hand waved easily with just how the Magical World works. I mean, with how Harry got forced into the TriWizard tournament, it's not like there isn't precedent for that kind of thing to happen.
And it could have gone so much worse, given that Tonks was drunk and might have accidentally missed Remus entirely. (Actually, does one of the answers to this challenge have something like that happen? Where even the intentional one just flopped?)
From the ones I vaguely recall, there's no requirement to have an intentional one. That's just an aspect of this particular execution of the concept.
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- Europe
Ok... how to say i loved it without saying ai loved it?
...
aahm...:
"I thought i was barely beginning to read it by the time Taylor was finding out she'd be a target either way and then it abruptly ended and now i have a giant gaping hole in my *DO WANT!* folder."
great stuff!
...
aahm...:
"I thought i was barely beginning to read it by the time Taylor was finding out she'd be a target either way and then it abruptly ended and now i have a giant gaping hole in my *DO WANT!* folder."
great stuff!
- Location
- Bullcity
It,s true that Las Vegas Challenge it,s mostly a reason to start raunchy stories but at the same time it,s an oportunity/excusse to do a Xover, some authors dont do the engament unbreakeable but at least unbreakeable temporaly, but by the time they can break it, it,s too late and they are already in love with each other
And seriously Tonks is a creepy stalker but it,s magic world, 0 common sense and Osmium grade of density/negacionist Remus
Ooo, an interesting take on that tired trope. And now the eternal curse of reading a favorite writer's fragment folder: do I want more of the shiny new toy, or more of the stories that brought me in?
As for whether this is rape…depending on how you parse the term it is on both Harry and Taylor. Could it be worse? Yes. Is it still a horrible situation? Very yes. Hopefully they can find happiness anyways. And Tonks deserves all of the lice for pulling this.
As for whether this is rape…depending on how you parse the term it is on both Harry and Taylor. Could it be worse? Yes. Is it still a horrible situation? Very yes. Hopefully they can find happiness anyways. And Tonks deserves all of the lice for pulling this.
The obvious way it could have gone worse is "Tonks is eaten alive by insects."
Or even "everyone dies because Taylor ordered the swarm to attack then the wizards stunned her and they ate everyone but her, and she died because of the marriage curse when Potter did".
Finding happiness at this point would be self abuse on their part. It's like telling a rape victim they should just "lie back and enjoy it". It's degrading and would be emotionally self destructive to even try.
Fencer
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- 2nd shift
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Going to go ahead and assume you feel similarly about the fics where the ministry introduces marriage laws and forces people to get together then. Or the ones where Harry discovers a marriage contract from six generations back has just gone active. Honestly one of the weirdest things about me is that between the advice I got hammered with as a teen; "find the middle of the road", and all the reading I've done I've gotten introduced to a lot of ideas and mindsets and it's left me with very few hard and fast rules. People who intentionally hurt children deserve whatever you can do to them before the police arrive. Rapists same deal. Unrepentant killers who did it for fun or out of some ideology that puts them above others? Take a guess.
But situations where it's neither persons fault and things are fucked six ways to Sunday? That in my mind has the potential to go very wrong, very right, or just not terribly.
There was an amazing HP oneshot where Gabriel the itty bitty Veela initiates a magical bond with Harry because she wants a playmate. Magic kicks into high gear. Harry is forcibly de aged can't go more than fifty feet from her without causing them both pain and it goes horribly. He hates her, she hates herself a little, she's confused and alone and harry is furious at how it wrecked his whole life. About ten years later they've mostly forgiven each other but they don't love each other. It's a tragedy start to finish.
There was a great fic where the ministry forced people together by blood backed contracts to distract from that "Voldemort nonsense". Some people overstep and attempt to get handsy or rape their partners and end up in the hospital wing the very first night. Some just get unspeakably lucky and hit it off immediately, and some have a very long rocky road to anything even resembling stable or healthy. The whole situation was a fucking shit show, but people trying their best to make something out of a terrible situation is a really compelling narrative for me so long as it's written like the serious topic it is.
The current solution for Harry and Taylor? One or both of them might die fighting magic terrorists. If they both somehow make it through that alive then they can worry about this marriage thing they've been locked into. With the unspoken double meaning that if one of them gets killed the other is off the hook.
*shrugs* If this is a moral line in the sand for you then more power to you because I can respect that. I just want to be clear that I in no way shape or form endorse or condone rape. I just really appreciate stories where people in garbage situations try to find ways to not be miserable.
I do find that sort of thing repulsive, yes. The first is literally Khmer Rouge territory; they forced people to get married, and to consummate the "marriage" under the threat of being killed by the fanatics listening in if they didn't. I'd certainly consider that severe enough to justify a violent revolution against the Ministry. The second is harder to deal with as the actual responsible people are likely all dead.
And just to be clear I've not been criticizing you in any way; just the situation in the snippet. As you've no doubt realized it's a hot button subject for me.
Fencer
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- 2nd shift
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- He/Him
Nah you were pretty clearly going after the situation and not me but call it 50/50 paranoia and experience, serious topics like this come up it's a lot easier just to make my stance incredibly and unassailably clear. Kinda plotting a second chapter in which Taylor makes her displeasure with the person who performed the ceremony incredibly clear because they are both teens and were clearly drunk. even if magical USA laws are as screwy as magic UK's there is the law and there is what is right. And Taylors usually been a bit iffy on both of those topics but especially the first.
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Important bit of context to keep in mind. The unlucky pair we're talking about are Harry Potter and Taylor Hebert. Both of whom are more than used to the universe shitting upon them from great height. While this in no way makes things better or more tolerable, it does put them in a better position to barrel through the suck until an appropriate target can be found.
- Location
- That place over there.
And of all the people he could be paired with she's very likely to find a way out of the binding in a reasonable amount of time. Perhaps in time for the magical community to come help her with the Slaughterhouse 9000.
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- Terra-Luna
I'm seriously wondering just how long it might take for Taylor to just get curious or something and wonder if maybe the whole thing is being anchored by the rings, and actually end up sidestepping the whole issue, in all too typical Taylor fashion. Well why don't we just chop off our fingers? What's a little more grievous bodily harm? Missing bits can be fixed no problem!
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Fencer
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- 2nd shift
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- He/Him
… alright that hadn't occurred to me. And while that seems like something Taylor might think up and ask about it also sound wrong. Like it just doesn't line up with what I know of HP magic. We don't see a lot of vows and bonds but what we do see weren't tied to physical objects.
Where is Harry in his personal timeline? Because if it's after the ring horcrux, he could add two and two to get pineapple.
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- Terra-Luna
Eh, I'd say there's plenty of room to have it go either way. The dearth of their feature in canon leaves little room to say that it can't work either way. We get Harry's incident with the Goblet of Fire, the unbreakable vow between Snape and Narcissa, and that's basically it for explicit, unequivocal reference material on how vows and bonds "should" work. One required Harry's name as a vector for at least the execution phase, and the other doesn't offer much in any case. Some argument could be made about the mechanics behind the Fidelius Charm, and Hermione's trick with the sign-up sheet for the DA could perhaps be taken as relevant to some degree too. We do also have precedent of some very serious magic being invested and contained in a thing, given Voldemort's whole immortality schtick, but also plenty of curses that do just get cast at a target and that's it, and Harry Potter magic has a considerable reputation for quirks and foibles that could go any which way.
All in all, there's all the support necessary for it to just be up to authorial preference, really; it could be determined by what's desirable for the story, and be backed up perfectly well enough. The tone of the story could be the deciding factor. If the story is intended to have a comedic bent, then it'd be entirely appropriate for them to just have a d'oh! moment where it's found out by accident after Taylor and Harry have already won the day or whatever, or a more romance-driven plot could have the binding be final only for the two to come to realise that actually they're okay with it, or that it can be slipped only for them to no longer find doing so important to them in the first place. A tragic take could have them being stuck with something that they don't like because, sure enough, it actually isn't something as simple as the binding being anchored by the rings and needing to still be attached.
Fencer
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It's the summer after the department of mysteries fiasco. So he has not seen that yet.
I would argue that house elves demonstrate another magic bond not anchored by anything physical. But you do have a point there is some ambiguity there.
That would likely come across as more than a little creepy, it's what I've heard women sarcastically call "the magic penis plot". A woman is somehow coerced into have sex with a man, and she immediately falls in love with him "demonstrating" that the coercion wasn't actually a bad thing in the first place. Remember; fundamentally, this is rape magic. This is magic specifically made to force people to have sex.
And keep in mind; in real life forcing people to stay together hasn't made them romantic with each other, it's made them hate each other.
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- Terra-Luna
It would depend a lot on how it was written. It would be very be very easy to make it into something that is just trash, really. It would also be possible, though, for the plot to put a lot of focus on the narrative journey involved from start to finish, with strangers at the start simply developing throughout the story. Undesirable circumstances at the beginning do not obviate circumstances later on being something else. Taylor and Harry could perfectly well have serious reservations about their situation, and it might only evolve into something else for said extremely dubious arrangement occurring in the first place, but despite that, they could just as well find that, for so going through their journey together, they actually do come to care for one another.
Given the people involved, I also would not be at all surprised if we do not in fact get any squicky rape magic. It isn't rape magic if there's no sex involved, just magic trying to coerce it. Taylor and Harry, though, are... Taylor and Harry. They're very difference characters, but stubbornness is decidedly something common to them. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if both of them just decide that, whelp, they can't be too far apart forever unless they do something that they don't want to do, that sucks, guess they'll just have to stick close for forever.
They have the potential to change their minds, though. Whether it's organic or utterly contrived is another matter, however. They certainly could find having to stay close to one another to make them hate each other, but it also might not. From a writing standpoint, if the story were to be romantic in tone, the objective would be to back-engineer the end goal in such a way as to make it work.
Fencer
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- 2nd shift
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First of all the magic would be from an old worldview so it's not about forcing people to have sex even if that is a side effect. It's about the continuation of family lines, old world aristocratic Europe remember? Keeping the money and power out of the hands of the commoners and preventing usurpation of the royal line by bastards etc etc etc. love would have been an unexpected but welcome luxury in some cases.
And people forced together do not always end up hating each other. There are a lot of cultures where arranged marriages were or are a thing and some of those parents treat it very seriously and go looking for someone their child could get along with and be happy with. I'm not saying it always works or even half the time. But it's a thing and people forced to spend time together and get to know one another can and often do find themselves getting along with even people who are wildly different from themselves. It doesn't even have to come to 'and they lived happily ever after' even just 'we both got stuck in a terrible situation and we respect and like each other as people enough to not go out of our way to make each other miserable out of spite'
Edit: and why the hell am I playing devils advocate for this?! Gahh damn my dislike of absolutes.
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Vegas Vacation 2
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AN: So, more Vegas. Because uhhhh actually fuck if I know, I just had ideas. Muse said go and… I don't know. I'm just going to enjoy my muse kicking into overdrive and writing something because it's fun for me and there isn't any stress or expectations on it yet.
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POV: Taylor Hebert
Wandering the city with my new husband was not how I wanted to spend my day. But there were things I wanted to do before we left, and things I needed to do if I was going to help fight a small war. I couldn't do any of those things if I left hubby behind so we were just going to get a head start on the whole 'getting to know you' disaster.
I was actually a little lucky. All it took to get the address of the shady magical marriage parlor was glaring at Nymphadora. Harry was curious enough about what I intended to do that I only had to ask to convince him to come with me after we'd tested how far from one another we could get.
The answer was about six hundred feet. Not a lot of room to range away, but enough to give some illusion of freedom. Tonks had been stunned and insisted it shouldn't have allowed for more than sixty feet, but I was betting my power's range had something to do with it. Which was a very good reason to find some magical bugs that thrived in the cold or we might find ourselves getting much closer come winter. Unless I could convince him to give up on the crazy Scottish Castle and find a property somewhere warm that we could turn into a deathtrap for any attacking force.
Harry had countered that idea by explaining what Acromantula were and how many were living in the forest by his school. Which had started a discussion about why he went near them without my powers, and how unbelievably lethal his school was. Harry further pointed out that the school being lethal could hopefully be turned in his favor for once and the fact that without magical protections the Death Eaters could probably just wipe out a normal safe house with Fiendfire.
I wasn't really happy about that argument, but he did make several good points I had no ready counter for. And the fact he seemed to be thinking in terms of tactics was reassuring, sort of, because if he couldn't even get a little creative on his own, I'd outlive him. And while that might solve a lot of my current problems he didn't deserve to die just because we were stuck together.
His cousin on the other hand… even if dragging the two of us into this mess was just her being too drunk to think straight. She'd still trapped Remus into a marriage that he couldn't get out of. She'd planned it out in advance. The fact Remus was angry, but accepting, was insane. Even if they had been dating already this was the kind of bullshit that should destroy a relationship.
Harry saying it was complicated didn't explain anything. Remus agreeing that it was complicated made me want to grab the man by the shoulder and shake sense into him.
"So, now that we're away from my auror cousin-" Harry started to say.
"What is an auror?" I cut him off.
"Magic police, and maybe a bit of MI5 type work as well? Not entirely sure. Didn't really grow up with all of this."
Right, he mentioned normal relatives, very briefly, with the kind of tone I'd heard from most of the Undersiders when discussing family. Landmine for another day.
"Anyway, now that we're away from her and we don't need to worry about plausible deniability, I've got two questions."
"Just two?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
Harry just grinned.
"Only two right now. You weren't one of the heroes, were you?"
I seriously considered lying, but he already sounded certain, and honestly the way I acted… Gunboat diplomacy is still diplomacy, right? But if we were going to be stuck together, and I was not jumping in bed with a stranger without a much better reason than losing a six hundred foot leash…We were going to have to work together. And that meant extending a little trust.
"I wanted to be, at first. But… I was a mess when I first went out, I felt like I needed to prove my worth before I could join them. I didn't really want to deal with a bunch of teenage capes either. It sounded like more high school drama and…" I shook my head. "I couldn't really take any more of that. So, I came up with the brilliant plan to go undercover, only my hero contact didn't want to give me time to work, and I started to like the people I teamed up with, and then there was this little girl I needed to save. I couldn't really help her unless I stayed part of the team, and two of the heroes had tried to kill me at that point and just…" I wasn't getting into my trigger with him now. Maybe someday if we became friends, but not today. Maybe not ever. "Before I ended up here? Before the crazy bitch got involved? I actually turned myself in. I remember sitting in a cell waiting for a chance to negotiate with someone. I wanted them to leave my friends alone, and in exchange put me to work hunting down the worst of the worst. It was something I'd be good at, and it was more important than just playing king of the castle with the city."
For a minute we walked in silence.
"Thanks for being honest." Harry said sincerely.
"What was your other question?"
"What are we doing to the asshole who performed the ceremony?"
That actually got me to chuckle.
"Hold out your hand." I said.
Harry glanced at me but complied.
I landed a fly in his hand. A fly that was carrying a termite.
"I'm collecting every termite I can and when we get there, I'm going to set them to chewing through all the supports. Would normally take a while for them to do serious damage, but it's pretty amazing what bugs can do when they're backed by human intelligence. Besides that? He's about to get the mother of all scorpion infestations and if the rings and money he has on site aren't locked up too tight? I could use some start up funds."
Harry gaped at me and I couldn't help grinning just a little.
"I'd like to storm in there and start swarming him with all the bugs while screaming about him being a slaver or something. But I want to keep my powers quiet. Surprise is only good once. I'd hate for word of what you married to get back to this lich of yours before I get to take my first shot at him or his people."
Harry faked gaging.
"Ergh, the wanker isn't mine. Saying it like that just sounds creepy. And why do you keep calling him a Lich?"
"Well, he's not exactly the classic version. Those are usually some sort of undead skeleton that can still think. I always thought of them as some necromancer binding his soul to his bones so he won't pass on, but most fiction skips the part about how they are made. Usually, they're fine with that and want to conquer something with an army of zombies."
Harry hummed thoughtfully.
"I don't think that's it. He was running around as a spirit, no bones involved."
Which was a good point. So, the fucker wasn't a lich. But then what was he? Drawing on the fantasy genre and fairytales for hints and clues and ideas sounded like it was going to be pretty hit or miss. But… well…
"Then maybe he's more like Sauron." I offered.
"Sauron?"
"The main antagonist from Lord of the Rings. He was killed in battle, but he had put a part of himself into his ring. The man who killed him, was tempted by the ring's power and chose not to destroy it. But so long as the ring survived Sauron did too, just not physically."
Harry's eyes narrowed and he worried at his bottom lip.
"The diary, the one from my second year." He muttered back.
My eyebrow shot up, but then I nodded.
"That would make sense. A memory possessing someone sounds a bit sketchy but if it was a piece of his soul or something…"
And man did I ever have mixed feelings about that. Soul's are real. See dementors and the feeding of. I wasn't going to run off and join a church, because I wasn't really impressed with any of them, but if heaven and hell are real too… Maybe it was a good thing I was trying to give up the villain life and turn over a new leaf.
"But he's still around." Harry countered, which was also a very good point.
"Could there be more than one?" I asked.
Harry scowled.
"That sounds like the worst case scenario, so knowing my luck? Probably. Unless we're well off the mark in the first place."
"Still, might be something to ask this Dumbledore about."
"There is that. Hopefully he'll give me a straight answer."
"Even if he doesn't, watch his face. People, even ancient politicians, give plenty away when you catch them off guard."
Harry only hummed thoughtfully so I let the topic lie for now.
We were finally in range of the chapel and I was going to ruin this man.
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POV Harry Potter.
Watching Taylor work was interesting. Not so much what she was doing with the bugs because I couldn't see that, which was mildly terrifying to think about, but how she effortlessly navigated a city she'd never been in to find every shady pawn shop, and back alley watch salesman. Selling off the wedding bands she'd stolen a few at a time with a different believable story every time.
"Man kept going on about owning a chapel here, but he was shit at poker. Bet me a few rings he had on him when he ran out of chips." Taylor said straight faced to the latest pawn shop owner who was busy examining the rings.
"Well, it's all fourteen carrot, simple bands. So, you weren't scammed, but I'd bet he told you it was worth more than it is."
"I figured that even before I won them, but the man was terrible at cards. Easy money is easy money. What'll you give me for them?"
"Well, ten rings of this quality and in a basic design? I'll give you say, eighty per."
Taylor scoffed.
"You could melt them down and get more than that. They're probably worth one fifty from a jeweler."
"Sure, but this is a pawn shop, not a jewelers. And with such a boring design? If they don't move I probably will melt them down to sell for metal. Product sitting around doesn't make me money. I'll give you eighty five per, but no more."
Taylor did an amazing job of glaring like a wet kitten instead of a biblical plague. Then she made a show of glancing around the shop before perking up.
"How about eighty per and you throw in those punch daggers." She pointed at the small triangle blades with the weird handles.
The man behind the counter did some quick thinking and then scoffed.
"Girl, don't make me laugh. If you're going to try and screw me, at least try and be a bit less obvious about it."
"Fine, fine." Taylor waved her hand. "A ring per knife and eighty per for the remaining eight rings."
The man laughed genuinely.
"Much better! But no deal. A ring per knife and seventy five per for the other eight."
Taylor scoffed, then sighed, and offered the man her hand.
"Fine, deal."
"Pleasure doing business with you." The man grinned.
Ten minutes later we were back on the street, and I asked something I was sure I knew the answer to.
"You don't care about the money at all do you? You're really just after the weapons."
Her running count so far was two police batons, the punch daggers, three military knives in different styles, a small case of pepper spray, and a taser.
"Yup, but going to a bunch of different places gives me a few benefits though. Spreads the rings across the city and makes us harder to pin down. Getting the weapons as an afterthought muddies the water a little as opposed to just walking in and buying a number of weapons all in one place, and it gives me a chance to search for any gun nuts we could help with their very specific hoarding problem."
I really wasn't sure how to feel about… most of that. Actually, the only part I was fully on board with was screwing over the man who performed the ceremony. Loading up on weapons and planning to steal guns and bullets from a perfect stranger because it was convenient? Definitely didn't feel too great about that. Doing all of this so Taylor could be better equipped to kill Death Eaters?
That was a whole tangled mess I was still trying to work through.
Guilt that I was dragging her into my mess where she could get killed or worse.
Gratitude she wasn't holding me responsible for this shite and that she was willing to help.
A whole tangle of emotions I couldn't even pin down about the idea of fighting to kill instead of capture.
And the fact that I was now married to the most terrifying and confident girl I'd ever met…. That one might take another week to settle because I didn't even know where to begin on that.
"Hey, Harry… think there's any chance the whole marriage oath is tied to the rings?"
"I have no idea. Why?" And why do you suddenly look like you are plotting murder.
"Just thinking I could get through life just fine with nine fingers if it got us out of this marriage."
Well… it was something to ask about? Merlin damn it all, getting used to this girl was going to take a while.
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POV: Taylor Hebert
Wandering the city with my new husband was not how I wanted to spend my day. But there were things I wanted to do before we left, and things I needed to do if I was going to help fight a small war. I couldn't do any of those things if I left hubby behind so we were just going to get a head start on the whole 'getting to know you' disaster.
I was actually a little lucky. All it took to get the address of the shady magical marriage parlor was glaring at Nymphadora. Harry was curious enough about what I intended to do that I only had to ask to convince him to come with me after we'd tested how far from one another we could get.
The answer was about six hundred feet. Not a lot of room to range away, but enough to give some illusion of freedom. Tonks had been stunned and insisted it shouldn't have allowed for more than sixty feet, but I was betting my power's range had something to do with it. Which was a very good reason to find some magical bugs that thrived in the cold or we might find ourselves getting much closer come winter. Unless I could convince him to give up on the crazy Scottish Castle and find a property somewhere warm that we could turn into a deathtrap for any attacking force.
Harry had countered that idea by explaining what Acromantula were and how many were living in the forest by his school. Which had started a discussion about why he went near them without my powers, and how unbelievably lethal his school was. Harry further pointed out that the school being lethal could hopefully be turned in his favor for once and the fact that without magical protections the Death Eaters could probably just wipe out a normal safe house with Fiendfire.
I wasn't really happy about that argument, but he did make several good points I had no ready counter for. And the fact he seemed to be thinking in terms of tactics was reassuring, sort of, because if he couldn't even get a little creative on his own, I'd outlive him. And while that might solve a lot of my current problems he didn't deserve to die just because we were stuck together.
His cousin on the other hand… even if dragging the two of us into this mess was just her being too drunk to think straight. She'd still trapped Remus into a marriage that he couldn't get out of. She'd planned it out in advance. The fact Remus was angry, but accepting, was insane. Even if they had been dating already this was the kind of bullshit that should destroy a relationship.
Harry saying it was complicated didn't explain anything. Remus agreeing that it was complicated made me want to grab the man by the shoulder and shake sense into him.
"So, now that we're away from my auror cousin-" Harry started to say.
"What is an auror?" I cut him off.
"Magic police, and maybe a bit of MI5 type work as well? Not entirely sure. Didn't really grow up with all of this."
Right, he mentioned normal relatives, very briefly, with the kind of tone I'd heard from most of the Undersiders when discussing family. Landmine for another day.
"Anyway, now that we're away from her and we don't need to worry about plausible deniability, I've got two questions."
"Just two?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
Harry just grinned.
"Only two right now. You weren't one of the heroes, were you?"
I seriously considered lying, but he already sounded certain, and honestly the way I acted… Gunboat diplomacy is still diplomacy, right? But if we were going to be stuck together, and I was not jumping in bed with a stranger without a much better reason than losing a six hundred foot leash…We were going to have to work together. And that meant extending a little trust.
"I wanted to be, at first. But… I was a mess when I first went out, I felt like I needed to prove my worth before I could join them. I didn't really want to deal with a bunch of teenage capes either. It sounded like more high school drama and…" I shook my head. "I couldn't really take any more of that. So, I came up with the brilliant plan to go undercover, only my hero contact didn't want to give me time to work, and I started to like the people I teamed up with, and then there was this little girl I needed to save. I couldn't really help her unless I stayed part of the team, and two of the heroes had tried to kill me at that point and just…" I wasn't getting into my trigger with him now. Maybe someday if we became friends, but not today. Maybe not ever. "Before I ended up here? Before the crazy bitch got involved? I actually turned myself in. I remember sitting in a cell waiting for a chance to negotiate with someone. I wanted them to leave my friends alone, and in exchange put me to work hunting down the worst of the worst. It was something I'd be good at, and it was more important than just playing king of the castle with the city."
For a minute we walked in silence.
"Thanks for being honest." Harry said sincerely.
"What was your other question?"
"What are we doing to the asshole who performed the ceremony?"
That actually got me to chuckle.
"Hold out your hand." I said.
Harry glanced at me but complied.
I landed a fly in his hand. A fly that was carrying a termite.
"I'm collecting every termite I can and when we get there, I'm going to set them to chewing through all the supports. Would normally take a while for them to do serious damage, but it's pretty amazing what bugs can do when they're backed by human intelligence. Besides that? He's about to get the mother of all scorpion infestations and if the rings and money he has on site aren't locked up too tight? I could use some start up funds."
Harry gaped at me and I couldn't help grinning just a little.
"I'd like to storm in there and start swarming him with all the bugs while screaming about him being a slaver or something. But I want to keep my powers quiet. Surprise is only good once. I'd hate for word of what you married to get back to this lich of yours before I get to take my first shot at him or his people."
Harry faked gaging.
"Ergh, the wanker isn't mine. Saying it like that just sounds creepy. And why do you keep calling him a Lich?"
"Well, he's not exactly the classic version. Those are usually some sort of undead skeleton that can still think. I always thought of them as some necromancer binding his soul to his bones so he won't pass on, but most fiction skips the part about how they are made. Usually, they're fine with that and want to conquer something with an army of zombies."
Harry hummed thoughtfully.
"I don't think that's it. He was running around as a spirit, no bones involved."
Which was a good point. So, the fucker wasn't a lich. But then what was he? Drawing on the fantasy genre and fairytales for hints and clues and ideas sounded like it was going to be pretty hit or miss. But… well…
"Then maybe he's more like Sauron." I offered.
"Sauron?"
"The main antagonist from Lord of the Rings. He was killed in battle, but he had put a part of himself into his ring. The man who killed him, was tempted by the ring's power and chose not to destroy it. But so long as the ring survived Sauron did too, just not physically."
Harry's eyes narrowed and he worried at his bottom lip.
"The diary, the one from my second year." He muttered back.
My eyebrow shot up, but then I nodded.
"That would make sense. A memory possessing someone sounds a bit sketchy but if it was a piece of his soul or something…"
And man did I ever have mixed feelings about that. Soul's are real. See dementors and the feeding of. I wasn't going to run off and join a church, because I wasn't really impressed with any of them, but if heaven and hell are real too… Maybe it was a good thing I was trying to give up the villain life and turn over a new leaf.
"But he's still around." Harry countered, which was also a very good point.
"Could there be more than one?" I asked.
Harry scowled.
"That sounds like the worst case scenario, so knowing my luck? Probably. Unless we're well off the mark in the first place."
"Still, might be something to ask this Dumbledore about."
"There is that. Hopefully he'll give me a straight answer."
"Even if he doesn't, watch his face. People, even ancient politicians, give plenty away when you catch them off guard."
Harry only hummed thoughtfully so I let the topic lie for now.
We were finally in range of the chapel and I was going to ruin this man.
{}{}{}{}
POV Harry Potter.
Watching Taylor work was interesting. Not so much what she was doing with the bugs because I couldn't see that, which was mildly terrifying to think about, but how she effortlessly navigated a city she'd never been in to find every shady pawn shop, and back alley watch salesman. Selling off the wedding bands she'd stolen a few at a time with a different believable story every time.
"Man kept going on about owning a chapel here, but he was shit at poker. Bet me a few rings he had on him when he ran out of chips." Taylor said straight faced to the latest pawn shop owner who was busy examining the rings.
"Well, it's all fourteen carrot, simple bands. So, you weren't scammed, but I'd bet he told you it was worth more than it is."
"I figured that even before I won them, but the man was terrible at cards. Easy money is easy money. What'll you give me for them?"
"Well, ten rings of this quality and in a basic design? I'll give you say, eighty per."
Taylor scoffed.
"You could melt them down and get more than that. They're probably worth one fifty from a jeweler."
"Sure, but this is a pawn shop, not a jewelers. And with such a boring design? If they don't move I probably will melt them down to sell for metal. Product sitting around doesn't make me money. I'll give you eighty five per, but no more."
Taylor did an amazing job of glaring like a wet kitten instead of a biblical plague. Then she made a show of glancing around the shop before perking up.
"How about eighty per and you throw in those punch daggers." She pointed at the small triangle blades with the weird handles.
The man behind the counter did some quick thinking and then scoffed.
"Girl, don't make me laugh. If you're going to try and screw me, at least try and be a bit less obvious about it."
"Fine, fine." Taylor waved her hand. "A ring per knife and eighty per for the remaining eight rings."
The man laughed genuinely.
"Much better! But no deal. A ring per knife and seventy five per for the other eight."
Taylor scoffed, then sighed, and offered the man her hand.
"Fine, deal."
"Pleasure doing business with you." The man grinned.
Ten minutes later we were back on the street, and I asked something I was sure I knew the answer to.
"You don't care about the money at all do you? You're really just after the weapons."
Her running count so far was two police batons, the punch daggers, three military knives in different styles, a small case of pepper spray, and a taser.
"Yup, but going to a bunch of different places gives me a few benefits though. Spreads the rings across the city and makes us harder to pin down. Getting the weapons as an afterthought muddies the water a little as opposed to just walking in and buying a number of weapons all in one place, and it gives me a chance to search for any gun nuts we could help with their very specific hoarding problem."
I really wasn't sure how to feel about… most of that. Actually, the only part I was fully on board with was screwing over the man who performed the ceremony. Loading up on weapons and planning to steal guns and bullets from a perfect stranger because it was convenient? Definitely didn't feel too great about that. Doing all of this so Taylor could be better equipped to kill Death Eaters?
That was a whole tangled mess I was still trying to work through.
Guilt that I was dragging her into my mess where she could get killed or worse.
Gratitude she wasn't holding me responsible for this shite and that she was willing to help.
A whole tangle of emotions I couldn't even pin down about the idea of fighting to kill instead of capture.
And the fact that I was now married to the most terrifying and confident girl I'd ever met…. That one might take another week to settle because I didn't even know where to begin on that.
"Hey, Harry… think there's any chance the whole marriage oath is tied to the rings?"
"I have no idea. Why?" And why do you suddenly look like you are plotting murder.
"Just thinking I could get through life just fine with nine fingers if it got us out of this marriage."
Well… it was something to ask about? Merlin damn it all, getting used to this girl was going to take a while.
verycoolname
Not actually cool
Come to think of it, marrying Taylor is exactly the kind of good/bad luck that Harry Potter is cursed with.