Fate/Sunny Order (FGO)

MadGreenSon · Jan 17, 2018

Swordomatic said:
"Yes, good!" Gilgamesh laughs. "Man to man, with nothing to be shameful of! THIS is how contests ought to be!" He dismisses his portal and spreads his arms wide, taking up a wrestling stance. "Now COME, hound! We shall settle our enmity as MEN do!"

I am 100% sure that, even in porn 'fic, I have never seen Gilgamesh and Cu Cuchulain wrestle naked.

Seihai-kun · Jan 17, 2018

MadGreenSon said:
I am 100% sure that, even in porn 'fic, I have never seen Gilgamesh and Cu Cuchulain wrestle naked.

I'm 100% sure it exists somewhere out there and I'm 100% I don't want to see it.

Nameless Obsidian · Jan 17, 2018

...Caster! Gilgamesh, is that you?

SemiAnarchist · Jan 17, 2018

Well, Rits and Kana should consider themselves lucky Gil and Cu didn't oil themselves up first. Oh, and that Herk didn't join in with the nudity. I think Kana may have broke if he did.

MadGreenSon · Jan 17, 2018

Seihai-kun said:
I'm 100% sure it exists somewhere out there and I'm 100% I don't want to see it.

Trust me when I say that if it has escaped my gaze it is rare indeed.

all fictions · Jan 17, 2018

Oh Gilgamesh...

Fate Strange Fake Volume 2 Chapter 6 said:
Tine was nervous that the King of Heroes might suddenly decide to "remove" the townspeople from his sight. As if to assuage such worries, however, Gilgamesh shrugged.

"Do not concern yourself. I would hardly go out of my way to clean up refuse." Gilgamesh sounded bored as he surveyed the city. "Although if I were to incarnate and truly savor life's pleasures, it would be another story. When that time comes I may consider culling the mongrels unworthy of life, but that has nothing to do with me now. If the mongrels choose a slow ruin, I shall simply watch their foolish end with a laugh."

Then he went on, waxing nostalgic for the distant past and seeming to speak half to himself.

"If my garden was to be spoiled by rampaging monsters, I could not ignore it, but if it is the road the mongrels choose for themselves, I shall not object. Although if they fail to notice that a choice remains, I may at least grant them hardships as guideposts."

You can be insightful sometimes, even while being condescending!

kokuenDG · Jan 17, 2018

Swordomatic said:
Gilgamesh just looks at him, a light frown set in his brow. He looks away quickly, not bothering to address him. Waver thinks he saw a slight nod beforehand. But it doesn't matter.

Most respect anyone's ever gotten from him I would think.

Swordomatic said:
"Beware wha—ohgod," Ritsuka gasps, as he is bearhugged and suplexed by a half-naked Demigod once more.

...Why though.

Icipall · Jan 17, 2018

Swordomatic said:
Cu grabs his shoulder pauldron with his free hand and rips his bodysuit off. Something like nails on a chalkboard screeches near them. Kana curls up into a ball and covers her fully-red face with her legs, while Ritsuka stands over her with his ears covered and his face dead.

Kana's ultimate weakness: Buff, attractive, naked men.

Swordomatic said:
"Yes, good!" Gilgamesh laughs. "Man to man, with nothing to be shameful of! THIS is how contests ought to be!" He dismisses his portal and spreads his arms wide, taking up a wrestling stance. "Now COME, hound! We shall settle our enmity as MEN do!"

So that's what he's about. This isn't the shiny asshole he had to deal with in that castle. This one's fun. "You son of a bitch," Cu grins, and tosses Gae Bolg aside. "Now you've done it! FIGHT ME!"

WELCOME TO SERVANTMANIA, BROTHER!!! IN TODAY'S AMAZING MATCH UP WE HAVE THE FAMOUS HOUND OF ULSTER, ONE OF THE REIGNING CHAMPIONS OF CHALDEA, FACING OFF THE MAN HIMSELF, STRAIGHT OUT OF RETIREMENT, THE KING OF HEROES HIMSELF: GILGAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!!!

Swordomatic said:
There is rumbling in the ground, in the walls, in the distance. Ritsuka isn't sure if anyone is still on deployment right now.

*pulls out a pocketwatch* Huh, it's Berserker-time.

Swordomatic said:
Ritsuka reaches the end of the trail of destruction a few minutes later, thoroughly enjoying the break – besides the destruction he's going to have to send someone to fix later – and finds Gilgamesh locked in a grapple with the great Herakles. Though stronger and faster than Gilgamesh, the smaller man retains his mind, and successfully holds his own with technique and mathematical principles. So in essence it's a stalemate and no one is going to win.

Man, if Herc's Mad Enhancement were off he could fully use his skills in pankration. That would be an truly epic match.

Swordomatic said:
He does notice Mashu on the far side, though, looking at the duel, covering her eyes but peeking through her fingers at the same time. Her face is fully red again, but again what is new?

Mash: "And then, after I saw Senpai's bare upper half just some time ago, I just felt so weird... I'm-I'm really... a perverted girl at heart, am I not....!"
Boudica, Mata Hari and da Vinci: *NYAHAAAA~~~~*
Mash: "Pl- please take my story seriously!"

Swordomatic said:
Berserker growls, refusing to let go. He tries kicking at Gil's knees to break his stance and continually changes the angle of his pushes to force the King down, but the King of Heroes counters every attack. He laughs loudly. "Why would I?" Gilgamesh shouts. "This is a good day! A true challenge in the pit, between MEN!"

*Leonidas smashes through the wall* DID SOMEONE TALK ABOUT BEING MANLY!!!

SemiAnarchist said:
Well, Rits and Kana should consider themselves lucky Gil and Cu didn't oil themselves up first. Oh, and that Herk didn't join in with the nudity. I think Kana may have broke if he did.

And then we add oiled up Leonidas and EMIYA there.

kokuenDG said:
...Why though.

Because MANLINESS!!!

maguado87 · Jan 17, 2018

Shouldn't Hercules murder Gil in grappling? He is a master wrestler. Wait he is THE master wrestler

MadGreenSon · Jan 17, 2018

maguado87 said:
Shouldn't Hercules murder Gil in grappling? He is a master wrestler. Wait he is THE master wrestler

Yeah, but Gilgamesh had maximized his possible advantages by getting naked and warming up with Irish Hercules.

maguado87 · Jan 17, 2018

MadGreenSon said:
Yeah, but Gilgamesh had maximized his possible advantages by getting naked and warming up with Irish Hercules.

Greek Wrestling was done naked

MadGreenSon · Jan 17, 2018

maguado87 said:
Greek Wrestling was done naked

Yep. Herc wasn't noted as being naked, thus Gilgamesh had the advantage.

Swordomatic · Jan 17, 2018

maguado87 said:
Shouldn't Hercules murder Gil in grappling? He is a master wrestler. Wait he is THE master wrestler

Because in the Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh is also a master wrestler. It's two masters going at it, with Gil being able to match up despite his comparatively poor statistics because he actually gets to use his brain. If Herakles had his brain, he'd destroy Gil.

As is he's only equal to the King of Heroes, when he is completely insane and lacks any sort of the tactical brilliance and masterful guile that he would otherwise have.

Z000 · Jan 17, 2018

Swordomatic said:
Gilgamesh just looks at him, a light frown set in his brow. He looks away quickly, not bothering to address him. Waver thinks he saw a slight nod beforehand

He know

one look and he know

RexHeller · Jan 17, 2018

When Child-Gil?

Kyte · Jan 17, 2018

Z000 said:
He know

one look and he know

Roman is often the buttmonkey of conversations, but Gil always treats him seriously. Roman is also surprisingly casual about talking to and about Gil. It could be the fact he's not directly present, but dunno.
Check it out:
The Worthy
Axiom of Creation

Falzyker · Jan 17, 2018

Swordomatic said:
Cu grabs his shoulder pauldron with his free hand and rips his bodysuit off.

Hikari no miko: Cast Off! Just doesn't have the same flavour that AUO has...

Swordomatic said:
So that's what he's about. This isn't the shiny asshole he had to deal with in that castle. This one's fun.

Yes, I honestly had my doubts about him but after watching half a playthough of CCC subbed I admit this Gil is really fun.

Swordomatic said:
The battle of men commences, bare as the day they were born, before their Masters' very eyes. Kana whimpers, for she is weak. Ritsuka strokes her head reassuringly, as a big brother does. Even though they are twins.

She wants it, but this is too lewd for her...

Swordomatic said:
"At least they aren't killing each other," he says hopefully.

Always look for the silver lining.

Swordomatic said:
King Gilgamesh was a brawler in his Epic.

He wrestled Enkidu into submission didn't he? Or something like that.

Swordomatic said:
Before Gilgamesh can explain himself, the wall nearest to him comes apart. A gigantic obsidian arm, thick like a tree trunk, rips through the stone like paper and slings Gilgamesh in the neck. The King of Heroes, clotheslined through a wall, is ripped through the concrete to the sound of distant beastial roaring.

Sadly this was the only one I could find...

Swordomatic said:
"I blinded his Master and ripped out her heart in the Fifth War," Gilgamesh calmly explains. "It was necessary at the time. There was no joy to gain in the act, but it had to be done. I needed the Lesser Grail, and she was uncooperative."

Well at least he admits it was just business.

Swordomatic said:
"Who was Herakles' Master?"

"Just some doll; it no longer matters. That was a lifetime ago."

Well Shirou at that point had barely interacted with Illya so I'm not surprised they don't know anything.

Swordomatic said:
Gilgamesh frowns, thinking back on the time. Golden portals appear above and around Herakles and bind a divine chain around his neck and limbs, allowing the King of Heroes to step away.

This barely worked the first time idiot.

Swordomatic said:
Another golden portal laps over Gilgamesh's lower body, cladding him in his lower armor.

Finally thank god, I bet the light was blinding everybody.

Swordomatic said:
Ritsuka, meanwhile, was more formal, more dutiful, and straight up the better student.

It's a pity that he has to curse his name right now. Because right as he was about to leave the CIC to tend to his own workshop, meager as it is, the doors open and he is face to face with a man that strikes primal terror into his heart.

Heh, I bet Waver is really wondering why haven't they summoned Alex yet.

Swordomatic said:
Leonardo hops over from the side room, the mechanical eagle on her shoulder warking. "Oh! A new Servant! And it's... King Gilgamesh!" The Inventor gasps and goes up to him. "My goodness, I didn't expect to meet him so soon!"

"And you must be Leonardo Da Vinci," the King of Heroes responds. His arms still folded, the king still manages a slight smirk. "Hmph. Were it that men at large were as brilliant as you, we would have reached the stars by now."

Leonardo chuckles. "Oh stop, that's impossible! I'm a genius, after all, it's only natural that I stand head and shoulders above other people!"

"Indeed," Gilgamesh nods.

Oh dear lord, they're fans of each other...

Swordomatic said:
Gilgamesh just looks at him, a light frown set in his brow.

Sha Nagba Imuru sending mixed messages?

Swordomatic said:
"By the way Master... beware."

"Beware wha—ohgod," Ritsuka gasps, as he is bearhugged and suplexed by a half-naked Demigod once more.

This is going to become a thing isn't it?

Icipall · Jan 17, 2018

Falzyker said:
He wrestled Enkidu into submission didn't he? Or something like that.

Yes, that he did. And it was a long wrestling match.

Datcord · Jan 17, 2018

Icipall said:
*Mad Enhancement upgraded to EX*

Given Arturia's comments about Merlin's skills last chapter, it... uh... it took me a few rereads of that sentence to see it as "Mad."

RBomber said:
That was recipe for Galahad to self summoned himself. Outside Mash.

*puerile giggle* No, Galahad! You'll go blind! (Also, he'd better not try it INSIDE Mashu, because Ritsuka will murder him.)

Swordomatic said:
It's actually kind of amazing how many of Ritsuka's deployment plans eventually degenerated into 'throw Lancer at the problem'.

Ritsuka has an Irish hammer, and he's using it to nail EVERYTHING!

And when you love fighting, there's really no reason not to murder armies on your own. That's just kind of expected at this point.

"Why NOT murder an army?" - Every Servant in every Fate series ever, as near as I can tell.

Fuckmothering Gilgamesh, King of Assholes.

Naked.

That's his thing what the fuck.

Uh... when you say "your thing".... What, EXACTLY, do you mean by that? I mean, I know that Gil collects mighty weapons like a spinster collects cats, but... does that also apply to... uh... *glances down* ...other "weapons," too?

...also, seriously, I thought I was joking about Chaldea becoming a nudist colony, but I'm honestly starting to think I was just seeing the future.

"Damn, Master, you just know how to push all my buttons."

*puerile giggle* I'll just bet they DO.

It seems that past all the vigour and fire, his Master is still a girl. Interesting.

And THAT is the moment when Ritsuka decided to send Lancer on a lot more suicide missions. ALL THE SUICIDE MISSIONS.

"Fuhahaha!" Gilgamesh laughs. "Our Master is intimidated by the mettle of a King!"

...well, it's not the weirdest nickname I've seen someone give their junk, Gil.

Cu grabs his shoulder pauldron with his free hand and rips his bodysuit off.

....
"Welcome to Chaldea! We're saving all of humanity, one clothing optional hero at a time!"

Kana curls up into a ball and covers her fully-red face with her legs,

(Which would put her face... right at waist level. Just pointing that out.)

Ritsuka stands over her with his ears covered and his face dead.

"Why this," his male Master whispers.

Shhh, shhhh, shhhh, just go with the flow, Ritsuka. M-maybe get a few pictures. For... blackmail. I'll... I'll hold onto them for you.

"Man to man, with nothing to be shameful of! THIS is how contests ought to be!"

Naked. And in public.

"Now COME, hound! We shall settle our enmity as MEN do!"

Naked. And in public. While your Masters watch.

Wow. We're just learning ALL KINDS of things about Gilgamesh in this chapter.

Gilgamesh dodges and slams his head against Cu's.

*opens mouth*
*pauses*
I-is this where I make some sort of comment noting that they're both naked and that Swordo didn't specify WHICH he- no, no. Down that path lies a Kana dead through blood loss.

The battle of men commences, bare as the day they were born, before their Masters' very eyes.

*sniffles*
*wipes away tears of joy*
I... I can never repay Swordo enough for getting me to read this. Never, ever. Ever ever ever.

Kana whimpers, for she is weak.

Le Chevalier d'Eon films, for they are smart.

"At least they aren't killing each other," he says hopefully.

*puerile giggle* Oh, I'm sure at least a little bit of death will be involved at some point. They REALLY like wrestling.

Today, Ritsuka Tohsaka learned something. Well, actually he learned a lot of things.

Do any of them revolve around Gilgamesh's naked body and how you could bounce yogurt off his abs?

...stop looking at me like that.

that Cu is easily baited by naked wrestling,

and that his sister still isn't over her personal hang-ups about things like nudity and anything vaguely lewd.

Making Ritsuka VERY happy because she's his SISTER and thusly off limits for any datings or anything. ...from anyone else.

Dumb idiot would be lost without him.

I'm not saying I'm writing things on The Chart, Ritsuka. I'm just saying that things are being written and The Chart is in the general vicinity of them. Also, the specific vicinity. Also, I'm writing on The Chart.

There is rumbling in the ground, in the walls, in the distance. Ritsuka isn't sure if anyone is still on deployment right now.

Hmmmm... I'm betting: Impact in 3....

The rumbling is louder now. Ritsuka swears he's not imagining things.

2....

Kana is still on the ground, trying to get the imagery out of her head.

Kana is a WIMP. Don't do that, Kana! That imagery will be useful for... later. I would explain exactly HOW, but I'm still not 100% certain that Ritsuka can't reach through the screen and crush my skull through sheer rage, so....

"Ho?" Cu smiles wolfishly. "You're complimenting me now, Gold Archer?"

I've shipped weirder!

Before Gilgamesh can explain himself, the wall nearest to him comes apart.

1....

A gigantic obsidian arm, thick like a tree trunk, rips through the stone like paper and slings Gilgamesh in the neck. The King of Heroes, clotheslined through a wall, is ripped through the concrete to the sound of distant beastial roaring.

IMPACT! And Herakles makes the scene!

Also, now seems like a great time to link one of my favorite shorty AMVs:

It doesn't even shock him with suddenness. Ritsuka closes his eyes irritably as the dust settles.

Ritsuka starts pouring another layer of salt on the fields in which his fucks are grown. Just in case the first three layers and the roundup and the nuke didn't do the trick.

Still, he should check on them. Just to make sure no one dies. Or is further scandalised by male nudity.

Why... did you have to specify MALE nudity in that, Ritsuka? You sexist pig. I demand you prove you're not sexist by showing that people can be scandalized by female nudity, too! I'll let you pick who you'd like to convince to prove that for you.

Though stronger and faster than Gilgamesh, the smaller man retains his mind, and successfully holds his own with technique and mathematical principles.

Oh, my god! Gilgamesh knows EGYPTIAN XENO-MATH!

So in essence it's a stalemate and no one is going to win.

Um. *raises hand* I... I feel like I'm winning, if that matters to you at all?

He does notice Mashu on the far side, though, looking at the duel, covering her eyes but peeking through her fingers at the same time. Her face is fully red again, but again what is new?

And apparently so is Mashu!

She tries to form words but nothing coherent comes out.

(Only lustful growls!)

Meeting her at all is the highlight of his day, actually. It's a shame that he can't ask her out, because neither of them can commit to a relationship right now, and she deserves better.

i swear to go i'm going to slap both of them until their faces fall off

...Also, he needs, uh. Time. To prepare himself. In case he's rejected again. If it happens again without prior warning he might do something foolish.

...like suggest to d'Eon that the only way the relationship is happening is if the threesome comes FIRST? At that point, I'd give it... a week, tops. Le Chevalier d'Eon Gets Shit Done.

"So you've been watching them this entire time?"

Mashu nods. "Yes. In case they go anywhere and cause more damage."

It occurs to Ritsuka that Mashu Kyrielight might just be one of the best liars he knows.

*laughter* Glorious. Well done, Swordo.

"Why would I?" Gilgamesh shouts. "This is a good day! A true challenge in the pit, between MEN!"

Look, there's a LOT of jokes I could make here about Gil enjoying challenging men in his pit, but they're not even a challenge, so.... (Just like Gil's pit! BAM!)

Another golden portal laps over Gilgamesh's lower body, cladding him in his lower armor.

And screams of anguish sound from every girl in Chaldea... and a few of the guys. ...a lot of the guys. ...look, we've already covered Gilgamesh being a gimme on the "Free Five" list, okay?

"Ho?" The Archer smirks. "You speak with the mad? Well, I suppose it is a useful skill."

*slowly looks at Gil*
He... he doesn't even realize the irony, does he.

Ritsuka already a Fes despite his young age,

"I'm a Fes. Fes are cool now."
"...you're no longer allowed to watch that show."

Waver looks evenly at the King of Heroes, but internally he is screaming the song that will end the world.

*snicker* It sounds a lot like: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" and so on.

Curse that boy, and the girl too, for summoning this man.

Would... would it be better if Gil was a woman? I'm informed there's a pretty good chance Gil can make that happen, if so.

Leonardo chuckles. "Oh stop, that's impossible! I'm a genius, after all, it's only natural that I stand head and shoulders above other people!"

It's good to see humble people like Gilgamesh meet up with other humble people, you know?

"That said, I have no plans of doing such even after the Grand Order. Mankind is so worthless I cannot be bothered to enact such a cull myself. You lot will manage yourselves. Find the stars or die trying, it matters not."

And once more, apathy saves humanity! I'd cheer, but... meh.

"By the way Master... beware."

"Beware wha—ohgod," Ritsuka gasps, as he is bearhugged and suplexed by a half-naked Demigod once more.

Gilgamesh REALLY likes grappling with attractive men. Just... pointing that out. (You should probably never let him see you in a dress, Ritsuka.)

Seihai-kun said:
I'm 100% sure it exists somewhere out there and I'm 100% I don't want to see it.

Wimp!

SemiAnarchist said:
Well, Rits and Kana should consider themselves lucky Gil and Cu didn't oil themselves up first. Oh, and that Herk didn't join in with the nudity. I think Kana may have broke if he did.

Kana is ALSO a wimp!

Icipall said:
Kana's ultimate weakness: Buff, attractive, naked men.

Yesssss. Just Kana. Only Kana. *blots forehead*

MadGreenSon said:
Yeah, but Gilgamesh had maximized his possible advantages by getting naked and warming up with Irish Hercules.

*sniff* It's.. it's just so BEAUTIFUL.

maguado87 said:
Greek Wrestling was done naked

And covered in oil! Can't forget the oil. It's... an important part. *blots forehead* Oh my, yes.

Swordomatic said:
It's two masters going at it,

*puerile giggle* Aren't the only two Masters here Ritsuka and Kana? .... G-go on...?

Chuckles · Jan 17, 2018

You know, I was reading this and thinking "man, Datcord is gonna have a field day with this."

I was not wrong. How's the victory scotch tasting, man?

Grue · Jan 17, 2018

Datcord said:
Given Arturia's comments about Merlin's skills last chapter, it... uh... it took me a few rereads of that sentence to see it as "Mad."

No, no, that's Hero Creation. Completely different Skill.

Swordomatic · Jan 17, 2018

Also tomorrow will not have a Chapter because I'm starting to get worried the chapters aren't funny, so I need to build up my comedic reserve again. It might be Rider and Stheno, but honestly I'm up for ideas. They have to make me giggle, though, otherwise they're not good.

On the other if I manage to get bits of France down I might put that up instead. So, you know. Beware edgy dragons.

Swordomatic · Jan 17, 2018

Also, there was going to be a scene between Gil and Altera, but it went nowhere so.

Incidentally, Altera hasn't shown up because her moment happens in Rome and I feel awkward showing her after her character growth that hasn't been seen yet. But she's still cute. And learning to adapt and enjoy Good Civilisation right now.

She's currently raising some goldfish. :>

burningclaw2 · Jan 17, 2018

I'm wondering why Gilgamesh keeps suplexing Rituska?

Also does this mean since Kana used up all her luck summoning Gilgamesh the summon lucksack status has been passed to Ritsuka now?

ImpossibleMuffin · Jan 17, 2018

burningclaw2 said:
I'm wondering why Gilgamesh keeps suplexing Rituska?

Also does this mean since Kana used up all her luck summoning Gilgamesh the summon lucksack status has been passed to Ritsuka now?

So being suplexed by Gil counts as being lucky? Maybe it's because I'm not a wrestler, but being grabbed and thrown to the ground by a half naked dude is not my idea of a good time.

Fate/Sunny Order (FGO)

[Unverified Wish Granting Device]

I hate you! (it's not against the rules!)

Good Civ Inspector

Don't worry, we can fanfix that!

Lord of All

Lord of All

Moderates Moderately Mondays

If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster

Title Incoming. Please Hold.

Never quacked for this

2020! What will you try now?

Don't worry, we can fanfix that!

I will sing you the giggle of my people.

滅亡迅雷

Moderates Moderately Mondays

Moderates Moderately Mondays

The Power of the Tomato!