Night_stalker
Slava Ukraini!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Assuming she wants to, that is.
-
Going forward, links to content from Twitter (now X) will no longer be embedded. Pre-existing links should not be affected.
Eden's Edge (Worm/Sonnie's Edge [Love, Death, and Robots])
serra2
Himouto! Sylvanas-chan
Thank God someone said it straight. It's been pretty noticeable how thoughtless Taylor has been to other people throughout most of the story. Like, she seems to decide on a goal or course of action, and forget anyone else if they have a problem with it. Outside of here, it was most noticeable back when, despite everyone in the room telling her not to switch bodies because of the damage she had taken, she still decided to do it.
Like, she gets told not to do a thing/told a thing is upsetting to a person, does the thing anyway, tries to apologize afterward, and then drops into as self-pity "oh, it is my fate to always screw-up" when the apology does not work.
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Nobody ever said Taylor was perfect, or even particularly given to thinking things through, and it is frankly astounding that Amy and Vicky have decided to make her their collective moral conscience.
Then again, I noticed that this chapter Taylor appears to be slightly more restrained than usual, possibly on account of the added responsibility, so maybe it'll all work out for the best?
... Yeah, I don't believe it either.
Tisaku
Head Chief Thinkomancer
urticating
Tattletale: "I must flee before I catch gay."
Also Tattletale: "Holy shit those three have so many issues - must run away - before lose self-control and poke them with a stick."
The Pledge of Fealty could use some work, but it's a start.
Flair: "I wanna be part of Taylor's harem too!"
Well, given Amy's sexual proclivities...
I disagree. Well, not necessarily on the content, but rather that you/Abby are making Taylor out to be an asshole.
I mean, yeah, she has fucked up in a lot of ways, but she's also really really fucked up. Like, up until just recently in story Taylor has been dealing with losing whole portions of her memory and the consequences thereof, on top of being an emotional teen in a really fucked up situation.
There's a reason why there's the whole question of how much do our memories influence the person we are, and Taylor was dealing with the ever present threat of having more of herself taken away.
And as far as Abby is concerned, I'd actually argue that she's kind of the asshole? I mean I can see where she's coming from being a "hurt young teen who's lover 'cheated' on her", but at the end of the day...
As I said before, Taylor is fucked. Her memory is fucked (until like a day ago in-universe), her face is fucked, her life is fucked. And she's told Abby before that she thinks she's poly, which iirc Abby tried to dissuade her from being? Then she tells the person with the fucked self-esteem that she can't handle this and leaves? Which leads to Taylor giving in to the urges/her nature that she'd put aside on behalf of the person who, just, ya know, left.
I mean I could go on. While I understand where Abby's coming from, I don't think it's fair that she try to pin it all on Taylor.
Not to mention that Taylor's now the keystone that's holding up two (arguably three if you consider how she curtails her mother) other fucked up individuals, so great job on fucking her already wrecked self-esteem Abby.
Anyhow, on another note, I'm picturing Taylor being all despondent about not being given acid lugies, then remembering that she has a biokinetic girlfriend with the power to manipulate all life and going up to Amy with puppy dog eyes, begging her to make her into an even more monstrous and deadly killing machine/apex predator.
Amy & Amy's Shard: *Shudders in Orgasmic Delight*
Yeah, both sides are kinda assholes here, but neither intentionally. Taylor has a completely fucked up life and Abby's a mostly normal person who doesn't want to get involved in all the cape insanity and its corresponding risks. Taylor wasn't communicating, but Abby made it clear that she wouldn't be able to stand what Taylor really is and there's nothing Taylor could do about it... but Taylor definitely is continuing their shared tradition of moving way too fast and, well, moved too fast in another direction while Abby was gone.
Honestly I'm definitely leaning on Taylor's side here. She recognizes her problems, she's just not able to deal with them. Abby does this too, but she isn't dealing with both a fucked up feedback loop hormone system and shard fuckery. Abby is justified at being angry, but she's not willing to accept that Taylor is a mess and she has no idea how to respond because of it.
Useful to have confirmation that the powers disable while she's not in the body, that'll let Amy and Annette fix her bodies should they get injured. Definitely need to have that implant looked at though.
Honestly I'm definitely leaning on Taylor's side here. She recognizes her problems, she's just not able to deal with them. Abby does this too, but she isn't dealing with both a fucked up feedback loop hormone system and shard fuckery. Abby is justified at being angry, but she's not willing to accept that Taylor is a mess and she has no idea how to respond because of it.
Useful to have confirmation that the powers disable while she's not in the body, that'll let Amy and Annette fix her bodies should they get injured. Definitely need to have that implant looked at though.
serra2
Himouto! Sylvanas-chan
Why the quotes around cheated? Taylor did cheat on her. Like, Abby left because of the stress of Taylor constantly bringing up the Poly thing, the situation with the Empire, Carol being fairly pushy about Abby needing to go into Witness Protection or something similer, and Taylor, against the advice of everyone, deciding to switch bodies, leaving them to watch her go thru massive seizrues for several minutes to their horror. And even then, all she said was that she needed some space to come to terms with everything that had just been dropped on her. Like, she even started this chapter coming back to try and re-establish the relationship on new grounds, only to find that Taylor had already dynamited the whole landscape.
Taylor is, quite frankly, being fairly abusive in this relationship. She is dumping all of this emotional baggage on her partner, and the moment she gets pushback, she whips around to a self-pity session to refocus everything on herself. The second Abby tried to establish some boundaries on their relationship, Taylor jumped ship.
Last edited:
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
I agree with both of you. Taylor is seriously fucked-up, she's not having an easy time of anything and her last couple of days have sucked. Yes, Taylor's life choices sucked, but she was under a lot of pressure.
That said, none of it is Abby's fault. In fact, Abby did her best to help Taylor, went through a fucking lot for Taylor's sake, seriously put herself out there through danger, emotional instability, and stress, and Taylor just... Threw that aside, mostly. Focused on herself. Which is understandable! She has a lot of stuff to deal with. But it's in no shape or form fair to Abby.
I think Taylor was right, they did need to break up. Taylor needs a lot of work on herself before she can be on a serious relationship without self-destructing. Heck, she needs work to stop self-destructing period.
Now, do I think that if Abby got attacked by Nazis on the way home right now she'd be in an excellent place to trigger? Yes. Does the QM want to drag that sub-plot on by bringing Taylor's salty ex-girlfriend into the burgeoning Rainbow Cape Team, creating more emotional drama? Who knows.
- Location
- Massachussetts
See, I read that sudden departure as more of "Gotta go call my other boss because this is the perfect leverage to play them against each other."
Kadath
Sinnamon Roll
- Location
- Somewhere
Taylor "Suffer-Not-A-Bridge-Unburnt" Hebert really going ham here.
This latest breakdown really makes it clear that Taylor's suffering from borderline personality disorder. She and the people in her life are regarded as either (1) unstoppable, omnipotent, and pure or (2) helpless, worthless, and evil. And if they're not either of those she can't conceptualize them. Annette? A nonentity, then a monolithic evil demon, then a saint who sacrificed everything for her daughter, at least in Taylor's eyes.
Also the hyperactivity, stream-of-consciousness speech pattern, obsessiveness, and hypersexuality aren't really doing her life many favors.
And one of the worst parts is that this is Earth Bet and most therapists are going to just say "sorry, it's a personality disorder. Try getting a better personality. That'll be $1200"
This latest breakdown really makes it clear that Taylor's suffering from borderline personality disorder. She and the people in her life are regarded as either (1) unstoppable, omnipotent, and pure or (2) helpless, worthless, and evil. And if they're not either of those she can't conceptualize them. Annette? A nonentity, then a monolithic evil demon, then a saint who sacrificed everything for her daughter, at least in Taylor's eyes.
Also the hyperactivity, stream-of-consciousness speech pattern, obsessiveness, and hypersexuality aren't really doing her life many favors.
And one of the worst parts is that this is Earth Bet and most therapists are going to just say "sorry, it's a personality disorder. Try getting a better personality. That'll be $1200"
GBscientist
The Empire's Greatest Mouse
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I think a lot of Abby's reaction can be attributed to someone who has just been hurt saying things to hurt the person that hurt them. Taylor has been extremely self-centered and oblivious to the needs of others, but it didn't need to be phrased the way Abby presented it. Abby has been put through the emotional wringer by Taylor, but she also has an admitted tendency to move through relationship phases too quickly. Finally, Taylor is an emotional basket case at the best of times, which does not a reliable narrator make, and Abby is just as much of a hormonal teenager, so good decision-making is unlikely all around.
That last point goes for Amy and Vicky, too. All of the main characters are a big ball of unstable hormones, psychological trauma, and bad decision-making.
That last point goes for Amy and Vicky, too. All of the main characters are a big ball of unstable hormones, psychological trauma, and bad decision-making.
- Location
- Singapore
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Not good that Coil is now getting involved more directly with Eden's Garden. The New Wave adults need to stop waffling and pick a side. I don't really care about Abby outside of lewds.
Wolfman217
Oh No! Oh No! Oh No!
- Location
- England
Man, I hate Tattletale, she's on screen for like 2 seconds and she's 100% bitch for every moment. What do you wanna bet she's running off to tell Coil everything right now.
I hope the Travelers aren't spies for Coil, they really shouldn't be given that given her specialty the Travelers would hopefully contact Lilith before joining Coil.....and really Annette, especially with Amy right there too, stands the best chance of fixing Noelle.
Really they should be prepping to fight the Proctectorate, they aren't going to change their minds about branding Eden villains, and they're too stupid, corrupt, and arrogant to back down, and just hunking down will give the Protectorate time to bring in that backup to overwhelm Eden, they need to expand, take territory and make themselves too powerful for the Protectorate to remove without lots of collateral damage, and make it clear to the public what it means if they STILL try to go after Eden, that the Protectorate is willing to cause LOTS of collateral damage to remove one rogue group but not to take down literal NAZI'S.
I mean really that could really hit their PR - that the Protectorate cause lots of damage going after the Rogue group made up of LGBT, ethnic minority, and poor people but are content to leave the group of Nazi's around to be their racist homophobic etc selves.
"What does that say, that the Protectorate are willing to cause lots of collateral damage and call in reinforcements to go after US - a Rogue organization made up of struggling working class people of all races and with a leadership consisting of several LGBT people - but aren't willing to do so to remove the Nazi infestation that has been around for decades!"
I hope the Travelers aren't spies for Coil, they really shouldn't be given that given her specialty the Travelers would hopefully contact Lilith before joining Coil.....and really Annette, especially with Amy right there too, stands the best chance of fixing Noelle.
Really they should be prepping to fight the Proctectorate, they aren't going to change their minds about branding Eden villains, and they're too stupid, corrupt, and arrogant to back down, and just hunking down will give the Protectorate time to bring in that backup to overwhelm Eden, they need to expand, take territory and make themselves too powerful for the Protectorate to remove without lots of collateral damage, and make it clear to the public what it means if they STILL try to go after Eden, that the Protectorate is willing to cause LOTS of collateral damage to remove one rogue group but not to take down literal NAZI'S.
I mean really that could really hit their PR - that the Protectorate cause lots of damage going after the Rogue group made up of LGBT, ethnic minority, and poor people but are content to leave the group of Nazi's around to be their racist homophobic etc selves.
"What does that say, that the Protectorate are willing to cause lots of collateral damage and call in reinforcements to go after US - a Rogue organization made up of struggling working class people of all races and with a leadership consisting of several LGBT people - but aren't willing to do so to remove the Nazi infestation that has been around for decades!"
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Not disagreeing, but just to point out the Protectorate covered for this by claiming they're calling reinforcements to take down the Empire. How much of a lie that is, we'll find out shortly.
Wolfman217
Oh No! Oh No! Oh No!
- Location
- England
Oh I know - I meant from their POV AFTER (/if) the Protectorate attack them, like they say to anyone/shout from the rooftopes etc when the Protectorate actively make a move: "they're using that back up to attack us! - the rogue organization that just wants to be left alone to provide safety and a wage to locals and entertainment to everyone and is led by members of the LGBT community - but NOT the Nazi's taken residence in the city for years! They said it was for the Nazi's! They're lying! They think WE'RE the problem! Not the NAZI'S! What does that say about the so-called Heroes that they consider the minorities just trying to make a living the bigger problem than White Supremacist's!!!!"
Play the PRT at their own game - they're so obsessed with PR so hit them where it hurts. Beat them in a couple of fights to make them look incompetent in combat, point out they've left ACTUAL Nazi's alone for years, that they left rapists & sex slavers alone for years, that they couldn't take out ONE cape (Lung) but a member of Eden did, and that they've alienated a independent Hero group that's also been around for years and are locals themselves.
They have the advantage of all of that being true.
Especially if people start seeing their territory as a safer option (WE took out LUNG, WE took out HOOKWOLF, where the Protectorate couldn't) which puts more civilians in a potential crossfire should they try to attack Eden.
Uh, fuck you Abby. Not only did she tell you about it the next time she saw you, she is clearly sorry, and you abandoned her when she was extremely emotionally vulnerable. You can be upset, but that reaction makes you a petty, jealous bitch. You KNOW she is poly, and again, you abandoned her.
Yes it was hard for you, but she is just starting to understand herself and is going through a lot more than you. Get out of the story and don't come back until you can be a less shit person.
If I was supposed to emphasize with her, I sure as hell did not.
Yes it was hard for you, but she is just starting to understand herself and is going through a lot more than you. Get out of the story and don't come back until you can be a less shit person.
If I was supposed to emphasize with her, I sure as hell did not.
Division 7.7
WhoAmEye
Bunker-Dwelling Cryptid
- Location
- Vault Birb
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Hey. Hey people. Cute lesbians incoming. Nnnnnnnnnnnnnext chapter. >.>
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife, @hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics, and our girlfriend @SolarFlare for being awesome and also betaing! Also special thanks Prime Betas @Tamahori and @32nd_freeze and @Ganurath for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates!
Division
7.7
-.-.-
I hadn't bothered keeping track of time. Victoria came up to see me, mentioned something about flying Abby home. I didn't really hear her words. I just - tried to weakly push her away. Leave me. I -
I was a self-pitying bitch, wasn't I? Martyr complex, delusional. I knew I did wrong, I - was trying to take responsibility for my actions, like - like parents everywhere wanted their kids to do. I broke her heart and her hating me because of that was the consequence.
Victoria backed off and Brandish came in. Sat on the bed next to me.
Her hands were making fists on her thighs. Scratching at her skirt, a slow rhythmic noise. She didn't say anything.
If you want to kill me, I'm sorry, but you'll have to use your fists. I wanted to say it. But opening my mouth was too much effort. Even letting my head roll to let my eyes fall on her was like - like breaking a mountain.
Her hand nearest to me twitched upward, then settled back on her lap. I could hear her working saliva in her mouth.
"I am sorry things ended poorly with Abigail," she said eventually.
That was - I actually managed to lift my head. "Poorly? I cheated on her. I deserve everything she said. I am just an asshole."
She was silent again, hands twitching. I let my head drop again.
A hand, sudden and bony, grabbed my shoulder. It took me a moment to realise she was trying to hug me. "I'm not. Good at comfort. To cheat on someone is - not good. But that doesn't mean that her words were true, or that they didn't hurt you."
She released me as suddenly as she'd grabbed me, hands working over themselves like she was washing them.
Was I that filthy? Where was this coming from? "It doesn't matter. I'm going to die soon anyway. Either the Protectorate gets me, the Nazis get me, or the Protectorate gets Mom and I die due to being Tinkertech with no maintenance." Ignoring the possibility of Amy.
"I'd find a solution. Something. It might be harder now but. I wouldn't just let you die. And I'm sure Amelia and Victoria would endeavour to keep you alive as well." She paused. "Which of them… was the indiscretion with?"
"Amy." Should I even be telling her this? "Things wouldn't have worked out with Abby anyway. At least Amy and I managed to get to know each other before doing something stupid and hormonal."
"I think that kind of stupidity comes part and parcel with being a teenager." She was frowning, though. "I. Forgive me, but - you were safe with her, yes? I'm not entirely familiar with protection methods used in lesbian sex."
"If I have anything, I'm pretty sure she's either immune or fixed me without mentioning it." I shrugged. "Powers are bullshit, after all."
"Don't rely on that. Sexual health and safety are important." She nodded, still frowning. "I will look into appropriate methods for you to keep on you should you have intercourse with anyone." The frown deepened. "And for Amelia too, I suppose. I'll - ask her how she identifies sexually later."
I - why? Aaaah. I couldn't bring up enough energy to properly panic. "Maybe don't? Life here is a little - intense right now. It's why we were heading to Eden in the first place. Just need a few days to - cool off and process this all before we start confronting the incredibly embarrassing thing that is talking about sex with parental figures." I sighed. "And besides. Now we know there's a gang war going on, I doubt we'll find time to do anything before that's dealt with. Oh, and the Protectorate being a bunch of dickwaffles. It doesn't just rain, it pisses down."
"... we do need to discuss you and Eden. And the Protectorate's response."
I nodded. "Agreed. Maybe we should bring Amy and Victoria in for it?"
"I'll talk with them separately, later." Her voice was growing more confident, firm. Cold. "I would like to understand your position first."
"Mom kept me from killing myself. All the gaslighting, memory suppression, the overbearing paranoia - there was a reason for it. I don't like it, but I understand it. And I'm - for now, ultimately grateful for being alive. So I forgive her. Not gonna let her try it again, but I forgive her."
"Okay." It clearly was not entirely okay - Brandish was looking at me like I'd sprouted a second head, with mantis mandibles and big googly eyes. "In the interest of not letting her try it again, wouldn't it be - saner to stay out of her reach while trust is… rediscovered?"
I sighed. Still staring up at the ceiling. "Normally I would say yes, but my real body has been with her this whole time. No offense, but you don't really have the facilities to house me yet, and putting the maintenance burden on Amy without consulting her on it first is… taking her for granted, and I want to avoid doing that. More relevantly there's the Protectorate's latest shitshow of a PR stunt. I trust Mom more than I trust the government funded expletives." I still needed to call Chris and ask him what the fuck his boss was thinking. Oh and if Sophia and Emma got in trouble for killing people.
I should feel more concerned about that. About ending a human life. About watching someone die. But at the same time, every time I see those fucking colours - all sympathy goes out the window. They can die. They should die. Anyone who willingly did, or could stand by and watch, what happened to Dad and I - they should die. I can only hope to be the one to kill them. I shouldn't be thinking this. I shouldn't be. But I am and I am so, so fucked up. Why would Victoria trust me with her judgement? I'm suicidal at best, psychopathic suicidal at worst.
"Brandish - Carol. Do you - know what happened to me? When the ABB took Dad and I?"
"... not to the extent you do. I have read the… news articles, the police incident report. But they always… they aren't the same as experiencing it, or - " She made an indecipherable noise. "Regardless. I think you would be safest if both bodies were out of her custody. Something she herself was moving to facilitate?"
I sat up. "I don't know if she'll be safe doing that. The fact that I - remember what they did to me. That the Protectorate are focusing on Mom, who only wanted to help, rather than those stains of human indecency -" I shuddered and took a deep breath.
"The people involved in your kidnapping are all dead." Her thumb drummed on her thigh. "They have been for some time."
That was - both a surprise and not at all. "I remember watching Dad kill some of them. Before they left me the cell with his corpse and vanished." Did Mom get the rest of them? I hope so. "And I - monster, who facilitated it. Is dead." Can I ever be at peace?
She shook her head. "Lung didn't run the ABB like that, with that level of involvement with his groundlings. But. I hope that his death brought some measure of peace." She drummed her thumb faster. "Your mother is… destabilising. Dangerous on a level that the PRT feels it needs to contain. You need to be safe before things escalate further."
"More dangerous than the Nazis. More dangerous than the sex traffickers. More dangerous than the rage dragon that destroyed entire city blocks, more dangerous than the pit fighters with enough murders on their sheet that they're birdcage bound. For what? For her power? For setting herself up as a rogue? For trying to protect her daughter?" I scowled. "The Protectorate already escalated things when they decided to ignore the offer of negotiations in favour of releasing the existence of the abuse case to the public, when they cut ties with New Wave for daring to house me."
"I don't - I am not on their side." Her voice cracked like a whip. "And yes, she is more dangerous than the status quo. Lilith - "
"Look at my scars." I grabbed her shoulders. "This is what your precious status quo did to me - "
"I know!"
She pulled my hands off her shoulders, took several deep breaths. Sorted out her hair.
"I am well aware of the problems in this city. I am well aware of the Protectorate's deficiencies in handling them. I am not on their side in this matter, I think a return to the status quo and going no further would be a vast loss for the city." She took another deep breath. "But. Having the city descend into anarchy, having it be overrun by villains, is also un-ideal. Yes?"
"Mom's not a villain. The Protectorate are bringing in reinforcements and if what Armsmaster told me is true, so will the Empire. Things have already escalated." I shuffled into a better sitting position and folded my arms, hunched my shoulders. "It's too late to prevent war. So we just need to make sure we come out on top."
"Which 'we' are you referring to? Because your mother is a villain."
"How?"
Brandish shifted off the bed and crouched down in front of me, eyes wide and lips pursed. "What's your definition of villainy? I can give the legal one, but I'd prefer yours."
"Like a hero is doing the right thing, a villain is doing the wrong thing for the sake of doing the wrong thing. Making people suffer for no decent reason. But… with powers, I guess. Without powers I guess it'd just be a criminal - unless they were a henchman? But that makes things muddy."
"So intent matters. How do we determine intent?"
"Watch what they do and their attitude about it."
"That can be fooled but… what about doing the wrong thing for the right reasons? Someone might genuinely believe that murdering a crowd of people is the right thing to do. They might even have reasons that other people can understand. Does that make them a hero? A villain?"
I almost snorted. "This feels like a trick question. I could put Nazis on either side of the equation - the crowd, the crowd-killer - and it still fits like algebra. I don't know. I know my views are flawed but." I sighed. "I like to think I have a decent moral compass."
"So your definition is - intent is hard to judge. Ultimately, action matters. But, statements of intent are useful." Her hand tapped her knee. "Like, for example, saying 'I'll be your villain, down to the bone'."
"Yeah, that." I huffed. "Is what happens when people refuse to even give you the chance to be anything else. So you play the role you've been forced into, because it's all you've got. Reap what you sow, and so forth."
"But it is still a role she is playing, Taylor. We can discuss how things came to be this way until the last trump, but the fact of the matter is that your mother is a villain. She has performed villainy. She has stated that she intends to do villainy. She has associated with villains. Your forgiveness, while touching, has no impact on the fact that she is a villain."
"She's doing what she has to." I looked away.
"As you yourself pointed out, Kaiser might say much the same thing."
"Yeah but he's a Nazi." I frowned. "Like, his entire MO based on making other people suffer for inane reasons that they have no choice over."
"And your mother's entire MO is stealthy, murderous executions on people whose guilt she couldn't possibly ascertain, followed by repeatedly altering the mind of a minor who she had a duty of care over. Followed by, from the PRT's point of view, intransigent refusal of compromise and building dangerous biological weaponry."
I curled up further. "If she didn't alter my mind, I would have killed myself. I remember how close I've gotten."
"And that's an argument she might have to make in court." Her hand rested, soft and brittle, on my knee. "But she's still a villain for doing it."
"Are doctors villains for breaking a bone that's healed wrong so it can set right?" I looked up, tears in my eyes. "I think she's - banking on it. Maybe. Doing what has to be done, that the Protectorate can't or won't do, and accept that she'll be locked up for it. The consequences are the same for one crime or a hundred, because of what she is. A Biotinker. So why not go for a thousand and be locked away a legend?" I sniffled. "Isn't that basically what happened with Hookwolf? He knew he was being sent to the Birdcage if he got caught. A death-sentence in all but name. So why bother holding back anymore? Why play by the rules when you don't have anything left to lose?"
Brandish looked down. She didn't say anything. Just curled her fingers. Then - "I'm sorry, Taylor."
The tears were flowing freely now. "She's going to change this city. She's going to clean it up and leave her mark. Nothing's going to change that or stop her. So all we can do - is guide her. The nuke's already flying and past the defences. All we can do is minimize the collateral." I sniffled again, wiped at my eyes. "Whether you agree with her methods or not, something needs to happen and she's going to do it. And I'm going to be by her side for as long as I can be. Try to guide her because I don't know who else she's capable of listening to. Please, work with us? We know it's going to end badly but it can't not end badly at this point." Deep breath. "So we might as well make the most of it while we can."
"That's not your job. You're fifteen."
"I was twelve when I was raped, carved up, and left to die after watching my father murdered in front of me. I spent three days laying next to him, listening to the bugs chewing." I shuddered. "Life doesn't give a fuck if it's fair, if it's right, if you're old enough or not."
"But it should!" Her hands grabbed my legs. "Life should care, and I am not going to let you - throw your life away on - you don't have to let her, or what happened to you in that dark room define you. You don't. You don't. Please."
I smiled sadly. "I've wanted to throw my life away for three years. At least now I can go out fighting, knowing I'm making a difference. I don't plan on dying. I still have your daughters to care for. And I'm not going to leave them."
"You'll be dying inside. And that's even worse. You'll hurt them more that way." Her eyes were very wide. "You'll hurt them so much if you try to be with them while you're still in that room, in your head."
"I relived the whole thing and triggered just last night." I wanted to tear my skin off, it felt so wrong and tight and - "That's not something I can just - get over with a conversation. It's part of me, of who I am, whether I like it or not, and believe me, I don't. I don't want to be racist but I'm never going to be able to look at that ethnicity the same way again."
"I - I know, but you can't move on from it with your mother - " She shook her head. "I don't. I don't know how you get out of that room, I never knew, I never got out."
I didn't know what to say, and didn't have enough spoons to process it, so I just reached out and hugged her. She stiffened, clawed at my back, then went limp. Shook a little, and took a shuddering breath.
"When this war is over. When Mom undoubtedly gets locked away on whatever bullshit they charge her with. We'll go get therapy. All of the therapy. Even if I have to hold your hand and drag you out myself, we'll get out of the room together."
… fuck, was my default state 'care more about others than I do myself'? Because I was recognising a lot of this from my talks with Amy and Victoria. And I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. But - life's not fair. If I had to somehow deal with her as well. Then I would.
And if I couldn't? Well… I'd just be killing myself with kindness.
-.-.-
It had taken a few minutes of quiet… I wanted to say cuddling, but I wasn't sure how to feel about. Well. Cuddling my friend's mom. But it seemed to help.
And it put a new perspective on her. Her own trigger, locked in a room? Something happened to her, something she couldn't get over, something making her die inside. Something that made Amy stick out like a sore thumb to her.
All I could guess was it was someone she trusted turning out to not be trustworthy. So she didn't trust again. Amy was adopted. There'd been tons of cases of parental neglect of adopted children, but - this didn't feel like that. Or more complicated than that, maybe. Amy mentioned there was a villain in her lineage, just like me -
Oh. Oh.
That was why Carol was so cold to her. Made Amy think she was evil - maybe not intentionally but. She came from an untrustworthy source. Maybe? I was - not qualified for this, and I didn't know much about the situation. Could I ask her? Should I?
"Are you okay?" I finally asked, when her breathing had settled for more than a minute.
She stiffened, and shrugged off my arms. "I am sorry about that. That was extremely unprofessional of me."
I sighed. "It's fine. I'm not looking for professional anyway."
"You should. You need - a clear level-headed adult in the room. I failed to be that."
"We had similar triggers. Or - experienced similar situations, at least. I don't know, but - I can't blame you for being distressed talking about it." I hunched my shoulders.
She frowned. "Triggers? I… did you not tell us you were a parahuman?" She frowned more. "You said - triggered from reliving it. Hmm."
"Yeah, I triggered last night." I curled up and tucked my knees under my chin. "And - when I mentioned earlier that - Lung was dead. I didn't mention that - that I was the one who killed him."
"I already knew that." Her voice was dry. "Both from your implication that you'd achieved some measure of revenge, and from other sources."
Awkwardness. "How would I even kill him without being a para… whatever I am? Parabeastie? Is that even possible?" Not like it matters either way.
"I don't know your other form's capabilities. His regeneration could have been taxed by Hookwolf. He could have underestimated you. He could have been poisoned by Lilith in some fashion that inhibited him."
"Mmm." I'd need to ask Mom about that now. Poison to deal with regenerators and Brutes. "I'm a nullifier."
She tensed. "Like Hatchetface?"
"... who?" I frowned, melancholy momentarily forgotten in favour of curiosity and confusion. "Hatchetface sounds like a name that was inspired by the same inane bullshit that brought Knifehead into this world."
"Serial killer of parahumans."
"Oh. Well. um. I don't know the specifics but um. Amy can't 'see' my body when she's touching it and I'm awake in it. Shadow Stalker couldn't phase through me. I caught Victoria's punch and spun her around so she sort of tripped up on me. Lung didn't heal from the cuts I made. I didn't start burning until he died…" I listed off. "Um. He didn't hurt to look at anymore? Like in the - being too bright. Sort of thing. Like staring at the sun and how you're not meant to do that."
Brandish frowned. Then - "No, that'd be silly. I think the focus should return to - matters with Lilith, though discussion of your powers and what you intend to do with them should also be scheduled."
"What would be silly?" I was dying of curiosity now. Hang on - "Are you telling me you don't want Gay Pride Godzilla affiliated with New Wave?" I gasped, mock-affronted.
"The silly idea was testing your power here and now. If that went wrong, however, I could do very serious damage to you." She paused. "We also apparently need to discuss branding, as that is a… choice of a cape name."
"Oh, no, I'm taking Khanivore, the Gay Pride Godzilla thing is a joke because I'm an incredibly useless lesbian and also a giant lizard monster." I grinned. "But - seriously." I held out my arm far away from the bed. "It's not like even decapitating me right now would kill me. This body has sentimental value but it's far from life-ending to lose it."
"Even so. I would prefer not to injure you."
"Aw." I slumped, lowering my arm. "I kinda wanted to see if I could hold your lightsabers."
"They're not - they don't even look like lightsabers." Her voice was snappish, and seemed to have gone up several notes. Note to self; stop poking Brandish in the Branding. It is a bad idea.
"Sorry, sorry, I - I'm just looking for distractions." I ducked my head. A couple of blinks - I had a sudden thought that I should check on the lab. Make sure everything's still standing. Nothing seemed to be out of place.
"No, I'm sorry. It's. I forgot that I'm meant to be being responsible." She shook her head. "I'm acting like my sister. My apologies."
"It's good to let your emotions out sometimes. If you bottle them up forever eventually the bottle breaks and then you have emotional glass shards everywhere."
Brandish gave me an unimpressed raised eyebrow, as if to say, 'Really?'
"It's a metaphor the Psychology professor gave us." I pouted. "But anyways - we were talking about um. Lilith and stuff, right?"
"Yes. I don't think staying with her is… I can't in good conscience say stable, since I've just proved that I'm not. Staying with the PRT is something that you have made it clear you won't accept. What is your proposed solution?"
"Stay at Lilith's with Amy and Victoria as backup until the Protectorate can get their shit together, the gang war isn't on everyone's doorsteps, and we'll actually have some time to sit down and talk everything out."
Brandish shook her head. "No. Staying with Lilith isn't safe."
"Well I can't exactly stay here." I winced. "I might be sitting in front you right now, but I'm also in my tank at Eden. It - sort of makes things difficult."
"Which could be moved somewhere more secure."
"I'm not sure there is anywhere more secure - beyond somewhere that could be unfavourably likened to a prison." I sighed. "Eden is a veritable fortress right now, there's an army's worth of Beasties that can respond to an assault faster than the Protectorate. And my other body still needs work done on it before I can be safely handed off to anyone. I'm still Tinkertech."
Brandish was silent for several moments after that. I could see her thinking about it, her jaw making tiny movements, like she was trying to sound out what to say.
"I -" I wanted to reach a conclusion with her. An end. "I don't think we're going to convince each other of anything right now. Maybe. Maybe you should talk to Amy and Vicky and - we can come back to this later, if we need to?"
"That. Might be sensible." She took a deep breath. "I'd like to apologise again for my earlier break in professionalism. I hope you can forgive me."
"Of course." I reached out to give her another quick hug. I wanted to say something like - like 'it helped break down some barriers between us' or something, but she probably wouldn't take it very well. She stiffened a little in my grip, but patted my shoulder. I broke away with a smile. "Now - it's already been a hell of a day, so -" my smile fell as I remembered it. As it all came back to hit me. And made me feel like shit again. "I think - I think I'm going to take a nap."
"That seems sensible, yes. I'll be downstairs if you wish to talk further." Her hand patted my shoulder again, stilled. "I hope… I hope you survive this. In every sense."
"Me too." The tears were starting to flow again as my voice choked up. "Me too."
-.-.-
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife, @hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics, and our girlfriend @SolarFlare for being awesome and also betaing! Also special thanks Prime Betas @Tamahori and @32nd_freeze and @Ganurath for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates!
Division
7.7
-.-.-
I hadn't bothered keeping track of time. Victoria came up to see me, mentioned something about flying Abby home. I didn't really hear her words. I just - tried to weakly push her away. Leave me. I -
I was a self-pitying bitch, wasn't I? Martyr complex, delusional. I knew I did wrong, I - was trying to take responsibility for my actions, like - like parents everywhere wanted their kids to do. I broke her heart and her hating me because of that was the consequence.
Victoria backed off and Brandish came in. Sat on the bed next to me.
Her hands were making fists on her thighs. Scratching at her skirt, a slow rhythmic noise. She didn't say anything.
If you want to kill me, I'm sorry, but you'll have to use your fists. I wanted to say it. But opening my mouth was too much effort. Even letting my head roll to let my eyes fall on her was like - like breaking a mountain.
Her hand nearest to me twitched upward, then settled back on her lap. I could hear her working saliva in her mouth.
"I am sorry things ended poorly with Abigail," she said eventually.
That was - I actually managed to lift my head. "Poorly? I cheated on her. I deserve everything she said. I am just an asshole."
She was silent again, hands twitching. I let my head drop again.
A hand, sudden and bony, grabbed my shoulder. It took me a moment to realise she was trying to hug me. "I'm not. Good at comfort. To cheat on someone is - not good. But that doesn't mean that her words were true, or that they didn't hurt you."
She released me as suddenly as she'd grabbed me, hands working over themselves like she was washing them.
Was I that filthy? Where was this coming from? "It doesn't matter. I'm going to die soon anyway. Either the Protectorate gets me, the Nazis get me, or the Protectorate gets Mom and I die due to being Tinkertech with no maintenance." Ignoring the possibility of Amy.
"I'd find a solution. Something. It might be harder now but. I wouldn't just let you die. And I'm sure Amelia and Victoria would endeavour to keep you alive as well." She paused. "Which of them… was the indiscretion with?"
"Amy." Should I even be telling her this? "Things wouldn't have worked out with Abby anyway. At least Amy and I managed to get to know each other before doing something stupid and hormonal."
"I think that kind of stupidity comes part and parcel with being a teenager." She was frowning, though. "I. Forgive me, but - you were safe with her, yes? I'm not entirely familiar with protection methods used in lesbian sex."
"If I have anything, I'm pretty sure she's either immune or fixed me without mentioning it." I shrugged. "Powers are bullshit, after all."
"Don't rely on that. Sexual health and safety are important." She nodded, still frowning. "I will look into appropriate methods for you to keep on you should you have intercourse with anyone." The frown deepened. "And for Amelia too, I suppose. I'll - ask her how she identifies sexually later."
I - why? Aaaah. I couldn't bring up enough energy to properly panic. "Maybe don't? Life here is a little - intense right now. It's why we were heading to Eden in the first place. Just need a few days to - cool off and process this all before we start confronting the incredibly embarrassing thing that is talking about sex with parental figures." I sighed. "And besides. Now we know there's a gang war going on, I doubt we'll find time to do anything before that's dealt with. Oh, and the Protectorate being a bunch of dickwaffles. It doesn't just rain, it pisses down."
"... we do need to discuss you and Eden. And the Protectorate's response."
I nodded. "Agreed. Maybe we should bring Amy and Victoria in for it?"
"I'll talk with them separately, later." Her voice was growing more confident, firm. Cold. "I would like to understand your position first."
"Mom kept me from killing myself. All the gaslighting, memory suppression, the overbearing paranoia - there was a reason for it. I don't like it, but I understand it. And I'm - for now, ultimately grateful for being alive. So I forgive her. Not gonna let her try it again, but I forgive her."
"Okay." It clearly was not entirely okay - Brandish was looking at me like I'd sprouted a second head, with mantis mandibles and big googly eyes. "In the interest of not letting her try it again, wouldn't it be - saner to stay out of her reach while trust is… rediscovered?"
I sighed. Still staring up at the ceiling. "Normally I would say yes, but my real body has been with her this whole time. No offense, but you don't really have the facilities to house me yet, and putting the maintenance burden on Amy without consulting her on it first is… taking her for granted, and I want to avoid doing that. More relevantly there's the Protectorate's latest shitshow of a PR stunt. I trust Mom more than I trust the government funded expletives." I still needed to call Chris and ask him what the fuck his boss was thinking. Oh and if Sophia and Emma got in trouble for killing people.
I should feel more concerned about that. About ending a human life. About watching someone die. But at the same time, every time I see those fucking colours - all sympathy goes out the window. They can die. They should die. Anyone who willingly did, or could stand by and watch, what happened to Dad and I - they should die. I can only hope to be the one to kill them. I shouldn't be thinking this. I shouldn't be. But I am and I am so, so fucked up. Why would Victoria trust me with her judgement? I'm suicidal at best, psychopathic suicidal at worst.
"Brandish - Carol. Do you - know what happened to me? When the ABB took Dad and I?"
"... not to the extent you do. I have read the… news articles, the police incident report. But they always… they aren't the same as experiencing it, or - " She made an indecipherable noise. "Regardless. I think you would be safest if both bodies were out of her custody. Something she herself was moving to facilitate?"
I sat up. "I don't know if she'll be safe doing that. The fact that I - remember what they did to me. That the Protectorate are focusing on Mom, who only wanted to help, rather than those stains of human indecency -" I shuddered and took a deep breath.
"The people involved in your kidnapping are all dead." Her thumb drummed on her thigh. "They have been for some time."
That was - both a surprise and not at all. "I remember watching Dad kill some of them. Before they left me the cell with his corpse and vanished." Did Mom get the rest of them? I hope so. "And I - monster, who facilitated it. Is dead." Can I ever be at peace?
She shook her head. "Lung didn't run the ABB like that, with that level of involvement with his groundlings. But. I hope that his death brought some measure of peace." She drummed her thumb faster. "Your mother is… destabilising. Dangerous on a level that the PRT feels it needs to contain. You need to be safe before things escalate further."
"More dangerous than the Nazis. More dangerous than the sex traffickers. More dangerous than the rage dragon that destroyed entire city blocks, more dangerous than the pit fighters with enough murders on their sheet that they're birdcage bound. For what? For her power? For setting herself up as a rogue? For trying to protect her daughter?" I scowled. "The Protectorate already escalated things when they decided to ignore the offer of negotiations in favour of releasing the existence of the abuse case to the public, when they cut ties with New Wave for daring to house me."
"I don't - I am not on their side." Her voice cracked like a whip. "And yes, she is more dangerous than the status quo. Lilith - "
"Look at my scars." I grabbed her shoulders. "This is what your precious status quo did to me - "
"I know!"
She pulled my hands off her shoulders, took several deep breaths. Sorted out her hair.
"I am well aware of the problems in this city. I am well aware of the Protectorate's deficiencies in handling them. I am not on their side in this matter, I think a return to the status quo and going no further would be a vast loss for the city." She took another deep breath. "But. Having the city descend into anarchy, having it be overrun by villains, is also un-ideal. Yes?"
"Mom's not a villain. The Protectorate are bringing in reinforcements and if what Armsmaster told me is true, so will the Empire. Things have already escalated." I shuffled into a better sitting position and folded my arms, hunched my shoulders. "It's too late to prevent war. So we just need to make sure we come out on top."
"Which 'we' are you referring to? Because your mother is a villain."
"How?"
Brandish shifted off the bed and crouched down in front of me, eyes wide and lips pursed. "What's your definition of villainy? I can give the legal one, but I'd prefer yours."
"Like a hero is doing the right thing, a villain is doing the wrong thing for the sake of doing the wrong thing. Making people suffer for no decent reason. But… with powers, I guess. Without powers I guess it'd just be a criminal - unless they were a henchman? But that makes things muddy."
"So intent matters. How do we determine intent?"
"Watch what they do and their attitude about it."
"That can be fooled but… what about doing the wrong thing for the right reasons? Someone might genuinely believe that murdering a crowd of people is the right thing to do. They might even have reasons that other people can understand. Does that make them a hero? A villain?"
I almost snorted. "This feels like a trick question. I could put Nazis on either side of the equation - the crowd, the crowd-killer - and it still fits like algebra. I don't know. I know my views are flawed but." I sighed. "I like to think I have a decent moral compass."
"So your definition is - intent is hard to judge. Ultimately, action matters. But, statements of intent are useful." Her hand tapped her knee. "Like, for example, saying 'I'll be your villain, down to the bone'."
"Yeah, that." I huffed. "Is what happens when people refuse to even give you the chance to be anything else. So you play the role you've been forced into, because it's all you've got. Reap what you sow, and so forth."
"But it is still a role she is playing, Taylor. We can discuss how things came to be this way until the last trump, but the fact of the matter is that your mother is a villain. She has performed villainy. She has stated that she intends to do villainy. She has associated with villains. Your forgiveness, while touching, has no impact on the fact that she is a villain."
"She's doing what she has to." I looked away.
"As you yourself pointed out, Kaiser might say much the same thing."
"Yeah but he's a Nazi." I frowned. "Like, his entire MO based on making other people suffer for inane reasons that they have no choice over."
"And your mother's entire MO is stealthy, murderous executions on people whose guilt she couldn't possibly ascertain, followed by repeatedly altering the mind of a minor who she had a duty of care over. Followed by, from the PRT's point of view, intransigent refusal of compromise and building dangerous biological weaponry."
I curled up further. "If she didn't alter my mind, I would have killed myself. I remember how close I've gotten."
"And that's an argument she might have to make in court." Her hand rested, soft and brittle, on my knee. "But she's still a villain for doing it."
"Are doctors villains for breaking a bone that's healed wrong so it can set right?" I looked up, tears in my eyes. "I think she's - banking on it. Maybe. Doing what has to be done, that the Protectorate can't or won't do, and accept that she'll be locked up for it. The consequences are the same for one crime or a hundred, because of what she is. A Biotinker. So why not go for a thousand and be locked away a legend?" I sniffled. "Isn't that basically what happened with Hookwolf? He knew he was being sent to the Birdcage if he got caught. A death-sentence in all but name. So why bother holding back anymore? Why play by the rules when you don't have anything left to lose?"
Brandish looked down. She didn't say anything. Just curled her fingers. Then - "I'm sorry, Taylor."
The tears were flowing freely now. "She's going to change this city. She's going to clean it up and leave her mark. Nothing's going to change that or stop her. So all we can do - is guide her. The nuke's already flying and past the defences. All we can do is minimize the collateral." I sniffled again, wiped at my eyes. "Whether you agree with her methods or not, something needs to happen and she's going to do it. And I'm going to be by her side for as long as I can be. Try to guide her because I don't know who else she's capable of listening to. Please, work with us? We know it's going to end badly but it can't not end badly at this point." Deep breath. "So we might as well make the most of it while we can."
"That's not your job. You're fifteen."
"I was twelve when I was raped, carved up, and left to die after watching my father murdered in front of me. I spent three days laying next to him, listening to the bugs chewing." I shuddered. "Life doesn't give a fuck if it's fair, if it's right, if you're old enough or not."
"But it should!" Her hands grabbed my legs. "Life should care, and I am not going to let you - throw your life away on - you don't have to let her, or what happened to you in that dark room define you. You don't. You don't. Please."
I smiled sadly. "I've wanted to throw my life away for three years. At least now I can go out fighting, knowing I'm making a difference. I don't plan on dying. I still have your daughters to care for. And I'm not going to leave them."
"You'll be dying inside. And that's even worse. You'll hurt them more that way." Her eyes were very wide. "You'll hurt them so much if you try to be with them while you're still in that room, in your head."
"I relived the whole thing and triggered just last night." I wanted to tear my skin off, it felt so wrong and tight and - "That's not something I can just - get over with a conversation. It's part of me, of who I am, whether I like it or not, and believe me, I don't. I don't want to be racist but I'm never going to be able to look at that ethnicity the same way again."
"I - I know, but you can't move on from it with your mother - " She shook her head. "I don't. I don't know how you get out of that room, I never knew, I never got out."
I didn't know what to say, and didn't have enough spoons to process it, so I just reached out and hugged her. She stiffened, clawed at my back, then went limp. Shook a little, and took a shuddering breath.
"When this war is over. When Mom undoubtedly gets locked away on whatever bullshit they charge her with. We'll go get therapy. All of the therapy. Even if I have to hold your hand and drag you out myself, we'll get out of the room together."
… fuck, was my default state 'care more about others than I do myself'? Because I was recognising a lot of this from my talks with Amy and Victoria. And I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. But - life's not fair. If I had to somehow deal with her as well. Then I would.
And if I couldn't? Well… I'd just be killing myself with kindness.
-.-.-
It had taken a few minutes of quiet… I wanted to say cuddling, but I wasn't sure how to feel about. Well. Cuddling my friend's mom. But it seemed to help.
And it put a new perspective on her. Her own trigger, locked in a room? Something happened to her, something she couldn't get over, something making her die inside. Something that made Amy stick out like a sore thumb to her.
All I could guess was it was someone she trusted turning out to not be trustworthy. So she didn't trust again. Amy was adopted. There'd been tons of cases of parental neglect of adopted children, but - this didn't feel like that. Or more complicated than that, maybe. Amy mentioned there was a villain in her lineage, just like me -
Oh. Oh.
That was why Carol was so cold to her. Made Amy think she was evil - maybe not intentionally but. She came from an untrustworthy source. Maybe? I was - not qualified for this, and I didn't know much about the situation. Could I ask her? Should I?
"Are you okay?" I finally asked, when her breathing had settled for more than a minute.
She stiffened, and shrugged off my arms. "I am sorry about that. That was extremely unprofessional of me."
I sighed. "It's fine. I'm not looking for professional anyway."
"You should. You need - a clear level-headed adult in the room. I failed to be that."
"We had similar triggers. Or - experienced similar situations, at least. I don't know, but - I can't blame you for being distressed talking about it." I hunched my shoulders.
She frowned. "Triggers? I… did you not tell us you were a parahuman?" She frowned more. "You said - triggered from reliving it. Hmm."
"Yeah, I triggered last night." I curled up and tucked my knees under my chin. "And - when I mentioned earlier that - Lung was dead. I didn't mention that - that I was the one who killed him."
"I already knew that." Her voice was dry. "Both from your implication that you'd achieved some measure of revenge, and from other sources."
Awkwardness. "How would I even kill him without being a para… whatever I am? Parabeastie? Is that even possible?" Not like it matters either way.
"I don't know your other form's capabilities. His regeneration could have been taxed by Hookwolf. He could have underestimated you. He could have been poisoned by Lilith in some fashion that inhibited him."
"Mmm." I'd need to ask Mom about that now. Poison to deal with regenerators and Brutes. "I'm a nullifier."
She tensed. "Like Hatchetface?"
"... who?" I frowned, melancholy momentarily forgotten in favour of curiosity and confusion. "Hatchetface sounds like a name that was inspired by the same inane bullshit that brought Knifehead into this world."
"Serial killer of parahumans."
"Oh. Well. um. I don't know the specifics but um. Amy can't 'see' my body when she's touching it and I'm awake in it. Shadow Stalker couldn't phase through me. I caught Victoria's punch and spun her around so she sort of tripped up on me. Lung didn't heal from the cuts I made. I didn't start burning until he died…" I listed off. "Um. He didn't hurt to look at anymore? Like in the - being too bright. Sort of thing. Like staring at the sun and how you're not meant to do that."
Brandish frowned. Then - "No, that'd be silly. I think the focus should return to - matters with Lilith, though discussion of your powers and what you intend to do with them should also be scheduled."
"What would be silly?" I was dying of curiosity now. Hang on - "Are you telling me you don't want Gay Pride Godzilla affiliated with New Wave?" I gasped, mock-affronted.
"The silly idea was testing your power here and now. If that went wrong, however, I could do very serious damage to you." She paused. "We also apparently need to discuss branding, as that is a… choice of a cape name."
"Oh, no, I'm taking Khanivore, the Gay Pride Godzilla thing is a joke because I'm an incredibly useless lesbian and also a giant lizard monster." I grinned. "But - seriously." I held out my arm far away from the bed. "It's not like even decapitating me right now would kill me. This body has sentimental value but it's far from life-ending to lose it."
"Even so. I would prefer not to injure you."
"Aw." I slumped, lowering my arm. "I kinda wanted to see if I could hold your lightsabers."
"They're not - they don't even look like lightsabers." Her voice was snappish, and seemed to have gone up several notes. Note to self; stop poking Brandish in the Branding. It is a bad idea.
"Sorry, sorry, I - I'm just looking for distractions." I ducked my head. A couple of blinks - I had a sudden thought that I should check on the lab. Make sure everything's still standing. Nothing seemed to be out of place.
"No, I'm sorry. It's. I forgot that I'm meant to be being responsible." She shook her head. "I'm acting like my sister. My apologies."
"It's good to let your emotions out sometimes. If you bottle them up forever eventually the bottle breaks and then you have emotional glass shards everywhere."
Brandish gave me an unimpressed raised eyebrow, as if to say, 'Really?'
"It's a metaphor the Psychology professor gave us." I pouted. "But anyways - we were talking about um. Lilith and stuff, right?"
"Yes. I don't think staying with her is… I can't in good conscience say stable, since I've just proved that I'm not. Staying with the PRT is something that you have made it clear you won't accept. What is your proposed solution?"
"Stay at Lilith's with Amy and Victoria as backup until the Protectorate can get their shit together, the gang war isn't on everyone's doorsteps, and we'll actually have some time to sit down and talk everything out."
Brandish shook her head. "No. Staying with Lilith isn't safe."
"Well I can't exactly stay here." I winced. "I might be sitting in front you right now, but I'm also in my tank at Eden. It - sort of makes things difficult."
"Which could be moved somewhere more secure."
"I'm not sure there is anywhere more secure - beyond somewhere that could be unfavourably likened to a prison." I sighed. "Eden is a veritable fortress right now, there's an army's worth of Beasties that can respond to an assault faster than the Protectorate. And my other body still needs work done on it before I can be safely handed off to anyone. I'm still Tinkertech."
Brandish was silent for several moments after that. I could see her thinking about it, her jaw making tiny movements, like she was trying to sound out what to say.
"I -" I wanted to reach a conclusion with her. An end. "I don't think we're going to convince each other of anything right now. Maybe. Maybe you should talk to Amy and Vicky and - we can come back to this later, if we need to?"
"That. Might be sensible." She took a deep breath. "I'd like to apologise again for my earlier break in professionalism. I hope you can forgive me."
"Of course." I reached out to give her another quick hug. I wanted to say something like - like 'it helped break down some barriers between us' or something, but she probably wouldn't take it very well. She stiffened a little in my grip, but patted my shoulder. I broke away with a smile. "Now - it's already been a hell of a day, so -" my smile fell as I remembered it. As it all came back to hit me. And made me feel like shit again. "I think - I think I'm going to take a nap."
"That seems sensible, yes. I'll be downstairs if you wish to talk further." Her hand patted my shoulder again, stilled. "I hope… I hope you survive this. In every sense."
"Me too." The tears were starting to flow again as my voice choked up. "Me too."
-.-.-
- Location
- Earth, probably.
- Pronouns
- None/Any
Aw, Taylor and Brandish are bonding. And emotionally confiding in each other.
Oh my god, look at it. Its beautiful, they're talking to each other and actually communicating their thoughts and feelings. Things are emotionally progressing and staring to understand.
So whose gonna fuck it up?
In all seriousness this is a great chapter and its really good when characters get to just sit down and talk. I really enjoy seeing characters resolve a personal conflict by talking. Don't get me wrong it can be great to see someone get what's coming but a brawl isn't what they need. You've done amazing this chapter and thank you for continuing to work on this story, I love it.
So whose gonna fuck it up?
In all seriousness this is a great chapter and its really good when characters get to just sit down and talk. I really enjoy seeing characters resolve a personal conflict by talking. Don't get me wrong it can be great to see someone get what's coming but a brawl isn't what they need. You've done amazing this chapter and thank you for continuing to work on this story, I love it.
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
... I'll come back to leave a proper comment later.
Shut up, I'm not crying! You're crying!
Shut up, I'm not crying! You're crying!
Wolfman217
Oh No! Oh No! Oh No!
- Location
- England
Yay Update!
.....is no one gonna address the fact that Brandish is going off about what Annette did to Taylor all the while she spent virtually the entire time since she adopted her at the least being horrifically neglectful if not outright emotionally abusing Amy?
Pot. Kettle. Black. Brandish can't say shit about the horrible things Annette had to do to Taylor to save her life when she did bad shit to Amy for no reason.
I'd say a solid 70-80% of Amy's problems are caused directly or indirectly by Carol.
.....is no one gonna address the fact that Brandish is going off about what Annette did to Taylor all the while she spent virtually the entire time since she adopted her at the least being horrifically neglectful if not outright emotionally abusing Amy?
Pot. Kettle. Black. Brandish can't say shit about the horrible things Annette had to do to Taylor to save her life when she did bad shit to Amy for no reason.
I'd say a solid 70-80% of Amy's problems are caused directly or indirectly by Carol.
Alright, can I just say how fucking hilarious it is that Brandish felt the need to ask?
Seems that Amy & Vicky sandwich isn't as far out of Taylor's reach as she might have thought.
Is it wrong that I'm kinda hoping for a Leviathan interrupt?
- Location
- Canada
This was really just All of Carol's Traumas, Insecurities, and Fuckups are Laid Bare But Only One of Them Knows It: The Chapter, huh. Taylor may have accidentally bulldozed through a bunch of Carol's walls, which could be a good or bad thing. Things are pretty heavy, so I'm hoping next chapter has some fluff to go along with those cute lesbians.
I mean, I totally am, but how did you know?!