So. Things have happened. We've caught up to where we're writing. Updates will be slower from now on in.
Special thanks to my lovely co-author and wife,
@hellgodsrus, without whom I would never would have been able to take part in creating half my fics. Prime Betas
@Tamahori and
@32nd_freeze for being betas and feeding me validation and feedback between updates.
Enjoy!
Genesis
2.9
-.-.-
Where… where the fuck was I? This wasn't the basement. I tried to hit the button to let me out - the little light flashed
red. Red? I was fucking
locked in? If I had to
guess, I was - probably in one of the warehouses near the docks. Near Dad's old office. At the Union…
… part of me wanted to be proud that Mom had maybe gone ahead with that idea. The rest of me was horrified that she already had them on her side. They wouldn't help me get away from her.
Thinking of that, where the hell were Amy and Victoria? Were they dead? Had Mom killed them?!
It was light - wait, Abby! What had happened with her -
Was this
tomorrow?
I twisted around, trying to get a better view of - wherever I was. There honestly wasn't much to look at, just - it was like the basement but bigger. More benches. More tools. A better-looking computer.
I tried talking.
Hello? Is there anybody out there? Silence greeted me.
No more speaker, huh.
My memories weren't helpful. But the date with Abby - I could only remember flashes of it. Getting on the bus, turning to look out the window only to see Abby again, looking at the posters of the movies on offer, wrapping the tickets around her finger despite us never making a choice, flirting with her while waiting in line for snacks, making out in the back of the theater, running up the stairs to her room -
And then nothing.
I felt… cold.
I didn't need to guess what happened in the parts I was missing. But I couldn't remember them. And that - that
hurt. I felt like crying. No - I
was crying, I think. Hard to tell but - I lost my virginity last night and
couldn't recall a single fucking piece of it.
How would Abby react? Would she hate me for forgetting it so easily? Decide it's not worth doing it again because I'll never remember it?
Mom took that from me. The fact that I was - here, in this body, with no memory -
Some part of me had wanted to be wrong about her. For it to be a misunderstanding she could clear up with a tearful speech and a hug. That she'd at least have a
reason, or, or - or something. But I'd been right.
Mom had said I wasn't a monster. But she sure as hell was.
I could break out of my tank. Walk around on the streets drying out until some hero came and put me out of my misery. Where was my human body? Why couldn't I - why had I woken up in
this one?
SkreeEE! I started thrashing. It - I was so
angry with her. Terrified and insane and -
Against the glass. Punching it didn't do anything, couldn't get enough strength in the water, the
nutrient fluid, so thick it was like syrup. I lowered my head, curled up, and
pushed off the back, ramming my crest into the glass. It cracked.
Again. It was tough.
Third time's the charm -
I crashed out, much like last time, but I was
expecting it. The pain of the feeding tube ripped from my throat, the cuts from small shards of glass, the
impact of my fragile body on the floor - it all hurt. But it was necessary. I hauled myself upright as best I could and started limping towards the door.
The door that opened just as I reached it.
"Taylor;
thait gesine wearth, widcuth werum, thaitte wrecend tha gyt lifde aifter lathum."
þæt gesyne wearþ, widcuþ werum, þætte wrecend þa gyt lifde æfter laþum; Twas seen very clearly, known unto earth-folk, that still an avenger outlived the loathed one
Mom. She walked into view slowly, even as my movements froze to perfect, terrifying stillness at her words. She had an arm in a cast, tucked up over her chest in a sling. A bruise forming on her cheek. She had a small speaker in her other hand that she set down on the ground in front of me, and switched on.
"
Mom?"
"Little owl." She dropped her head a little. "I think we need to talk."
"
Yeah." While I was paralyzed by what had to be - something implanted in my mind, my
body. Her fingers under my fucking skin. "
You wiped my memories again."
Her lips curled in on themselves. "Oh. So… you do know about that. I wasn't - I hadn't been sure if you did, or not."
"
Hard not to notice when the last thing I remember is getting on the bus with Abby to go see a movie, and waking up locked in the tank two seconds later in somewhere that I'm fairly sure is not
the basement. So yeah. You fucked with my memories."
"You're not locked in anywhere. Obviously." Mom sighed, ran her hand down my flank. It didn't hurt - was it the liquid still clinging to me, or had something happened to this body? "I'm sorry. That wasn't helpful of me to say. And - I think your language is a bit strong. I - altered some memories but it was
necessary."
"
Do you realise what you've stolen
from me, Mom? Why I had to break out?" Did it even matter? "
Can I even get it back?"
"I don't think that's sensible."
"
Of course you wouldn't." I didn't bother to hide my scathing tone. "
Where's my body?"
"You were captured and taken from me." She stuck her chin out. "I expect that you'll find out more about that in time."
I felt like growling in frustration. "
The PRT got me? Why?"
"Not the PRT. We were that lucky at least." She sat down, slowly, running her hand over my head -
stop that - "Why didn't you just - talk to me about this? I don't understand why you would bring in caped authorities when you could have just spoken to me about your concerns."
"
Because every moment I can't recall clearly, I have to wonder if I did
and you didn't like the results. Emma actually tried to be nice again. To reconnect. And it wasn't
the first time." I did growl that time. "
I don't know how much else you've been keeping from me. How much you would
keep from me just because it was easier on you." I couldn't even bare my teeth at her.
Mom - no. No I couldn't call her that in my head any more.
She simply sighed. "Emma. I'm not surprised she's behind this."
"
She's not, M- … she's not behind this. She just brought to my attention that things are missing. Your paranoia rubbed off on me, don't you see? Treat every
person who notices me on the bus as a potential stalker. Always be prepared for a crash."
"She is. She always has brought out the - the
worst. I suppose I'm lucky things weren't worse, that you're still - intact." She pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose. "And it's not easier on me. This hurts me so much, Taylor. But it's
kinder this way. This is the kindest thing I can do."
"
Might as well be a princess locked away in a tower." I chuckled mirthlessly. "
Fragile as spun glass. At least I'm my own dragon." Did that make sense? No. Did I care anymore?
Wow, no, I don't. I just felt so
tired.
"Not locked away. I was… wrong to do that. But guarded? Protected? Yes. Even if you hate me for it."
Hm. "
I guess we'll see." Not like I had a choice in the matter.
"You need proof, I suppose. You'll have it, in time." M -
Annette ran a hand over her face. "You'll need my kindness again."
Not if I have anything to say about it.
"Rest now." She gently ran her fingers over my crest. "
Roan ein gollay gwan in gilly, arr heed-e nous."
We'll put our weak light together - All through the night.
-.-.-
Softness. Warmth. Linen.
I blinked at an unfamiliar roof. And I
screamed.
"TAYLOR!" Ah! Sudden Victoria! Before I could finish she was on me like a limpet with a death-grip hug and everything. "You're alive!"
That just made me scream
more - but when I finally calmed my throbbing heart, I managed to croak out - "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you've been lying there like you were dead for
two days?"
I felt the blood drain from my face. "T-two days? Oh no. Abby…" She was going to hate me. "Fuck, I - what happened? The last thing I remember is getting on the bus to go to the movies, kissing at the top of the stairs outside her room, and then - waking up locked in my tank moments before Mom paralyzes me and tells me I'll need her kindness again."
Wait, fuck, I'm not meant to be calling her Mom anymore.
"Wait, she took that much from you?! And you - you spoke to her?" Victoria bit her lip. "
Shit."
"I didn't exactly have any choice." I grumbled. "It's not like I can switch which body I'm piloting myself." Which still brought up the question of why I woke up in my human body this time instead of my actual body like I had last time. "What
happened? And
whose bed am I in?" Also an appropriate question was
whose pyjamas am I in?!
"You're in the guest room. I, uh, tried to give you my room, but Mom - my mom - insisted that since we didn't know how long you'd be with us or when you'd wake up you should get the guest room." She flumped onto the bed beside me. "How'd you switch back then?"
Oh. That - made a lot of sense.
"I - I don't know. I guess either Mom let me or - wait, if I'm
here, then at least…
some of the heist went well, right? Or did it not happen at all and I just - you took me here?" I
hated not having my memories.
"No, uh. There was a sort of heist but it was more like - a really badly handled rescue operation. We couldn't get your - other body." She winced. "Sorry. Your Mom kinda was - pretty scary. And she had help."
"
Fuck." I hissed. "As long as my - actual body is with her, she can do whatever she wants to me. And for all I know, next time I start reacting because I'm enjoying myself, she's going to - trigger a switch, or a seizure, or
something so I can't - I can't -" I clutched my head in my hands and curled up.
"We'll find her. Mom uh. When we got back with you she kinda insisted we get government authorities involved. I know you didn't want her arrested, but - "
"It doesn't rain, it pours." I hugged my knees. "Did - did
anything go right?"
"Some things." Victoria turned her face into the pillow for a moment, then rolled over. "Uhh, Amy managed to do something to your skin so you won't dry out as quick?"
"So that's why - " I stopped myself. "That's - that's good. Useful." I nodded slowly. "I just -" I stifled a sob. "Where do we go from here?"
Also, I was in bed with Victoria. Asking 'where do we go from here'. That wasn't the direction I had
intended to go but - hindsight sucked.
"Well. You still need to go to school. You'll, uh. Be staying here a while." Victoria bit her lip. "I dunno. I'm kind of. Grounded. But I'll pester Mom into giving me updates on how things are going."
"It's -" I frowned. Asleep Friday. Saturday. "Is it Sunday or Monday? I need to call Abby and - try to explain why I'm -"
in bed with Victoria Dallon who I think is hot - "I've been quiet all weekend."
"I heard you two had some fun~" Victoria started in a teasing tone, before I flatly cut her off.
"I wouldn't know."
She looked down. "... I'm sorry. I'm sorry she took that from you."
"It's not your fault." I - could I risk giving her a hug? I wanted a hug. I gave her a hug. "I'm the one who decided we should do both in the same night."
"It kind of is my fault a bit. I should have… there's more I could have done. Mom and Armsmaster made that pre-tty clear."
"Shit,
Armsmaster's involved?" I vaguely remembered giggling at a pair of panties with his face on them when Mom and I found a pair in the PRT HQ gift shop. Mom had, of course, then loudly asked why anyone would think it was a good idea to put his face near the crotches of preteen girls like that.
I never ended up getting a pair thanks to the mortified salesperson taking the entire rack and literally tossing it behind the staff-only door.
"He was part of the whole bringing the PRT in and yelling at Amy and me thing." Victoria shrugged. "He's um. Probably going to want to talk to you at some point. About the situation with your mom."
"Does he know I'm - actually in the tank or," I gestured to myself vaguely.
Seriously whose pyjamas are these? "Piloting myself?"
"I'm not sure. We haven't told Mom about that part, yet, um. Just that it's
really important, for
you, that the uh. Thing in the tank isn't hurt."
"Thing in the tank." I repeated, deadpan. "Really."
"Bringing up monsters around the local PRT Director will bring up Nilbog comparisons even though they don't really fit, I think." Victoria scrunched her face up. "Or not, Piggot really's tried to put her past behind her, or at least professionally has? And it's not even like you look really that much like a Nilbog creation. I don't know why you thought you did."
"Honestly, I wouldn't know." I sighed. "I've never seen myself in the mirror. And it's - nearly impossible for me to see
into the tank. So I don't really have anything to go off other than how I feel and how far I can crane my neck to look at myself."
"Oh." Victoria blinked. "So why Nilbog?"
I shrugged. "Mom's avoidance of 'cape frippery' means half the time I only recognise the
big names. And Nilbog is
the monster-related cape. Not the - monster capes, I know there's a PC name for them, uh - y'know what I mean right?"
"Case 53's. Well. Anyway. Better safe than sorry." Victoria jiggled her leg, which made the bed wobble, which made certain other things I wasn't meant to be looking at also wobble. "I should probably get Amy to check on you? Or give you your phone so you can call Abby…"
"I think I should call Abby first. Or text her or something." I worried at my lip. "I mean, we - yeah. And then
that, and ghosting for two days -" I sighed and slumped. "I should do it in person but I don't know how to get to her place or - or do it in the school halls tomorrow."
"At least let her know you're alive, then? Just like 'I'm alive, things are complicated, talk when I'm back at school'?" She winced. "No, that's… unbelievably lame, no wonder Dean and I keep falling out."
"I honestly wondered how you two handled the whole break-up-make-up on repeat thing, but then Chris clued me in that you're both big fans of
drama." So if I wanted to seduce her which I definitely didn't I was just letting my lesbian brain get away on me - then I'd need to do something bigger and better and flashier than half-asleep pickup lines and accidental anal sex jokes.
Victoria made a face. "That's not really fair. I think drama's just kind of inevitable with both of our lives."
"I guess it must be awkward when your girlfriend's seen in the news for taking down gangers and getting shot at and stuff every other weekend." I winced sympathetically. Trying to - take my mind off things.
"Yeah, and his parents are dumb and rich and obsessed with dumb rich people things…" She patted my shoulder. I guess my feeble distraction attempt had been noticed. "I'll - go let Amy know you're awake. You just text Abby."
"Okay." I accepted the phone and just stared at the black screen. What was I going to say? What was I going to
blame.
"Oh, um, so - uh. We." She sighed, and drummed her fingers on the doorframe. "So your mom actually sent us a suitcase? With your clothes in it? If you want to get changed or something."
I blinked and stared at her.
What?
Victoria shrugged. "Um. yeah, your house is kinda not available right now. The PRT's watching over it and she's not
there anyway. I put your stuff in the drawers."
"Thanks."
I think. Mom, what on earth is going on with you?
Victoria gave me an awkward thumbs up before slipping out with a sort of hovering bounce and shutting the door quietly behind her.
Right. I - pretty much lived here now.
Not awkward at all.
I curled up under the covers and tapped the phone, just thinking. What could I even say? What excuse could I give? The truth? Like she'd
believe that. I just had to -
Wait, what?
My text conversation with her. Something had apparently been sent to her late on Friday evening from my phone -
>
Taylor had another seizure, this is her mother. She might not be in touch for a little while
<
Oh no! I hope she's ok
<
Taylor if you're reading this i hope you're alright
<
please let me know you're okay?
I - didn't know what to think. Had M - had
Annette - maybe she did still love me? Or was just - covering bases. Or - or…
Fuck.
>
hey abby, it's taylor again. I'm about as ok as i can be
>
i think
>
i wish i knew what to say
>how to tell you that mom deleted my memories of the date
I hesitated. Was I - was I going to take the coward's way out and keep Mom's secret or -
<
omg TAYLOR
<
been so worried
<
areyou okay?
>
yeah
>
im not sure if you're aware that sometimes the seizures come with memory issues
>
but i cant
>
I can't remember most of the date
>
i know we went on one, but it cuts off when we got on to the bus, theres flashes of it, and the last thing i remember is going from biting your lip in the back of the theater to doing the same at the top of your stairs
>
and then waking up just now and being told its been two days
>
i was terrified you'd hate me
>
for not staying in contact
>
then I found out mom went through my phone to text you, which is like yay kinda but also oh god no my mother searched through my phone
>
its
>
its all so complicated and i hate it
<
oh
<
that's a lot
<
im sorry you can't remember most of it 
<
i think you enjoyed it?
<
i
<
um, having a dumb emotion moment sorry
>
i'm sorry i cant remember it too
>
i wish i could
>
maybe when things settle down we can make up for lost time?
>
sorry im
>
also kind of bitter for losing my first time
I knew who to blame, too. But I
couldn't. Because she still had my body with her. I almost wished I could switch back, see if she had me in a new tank yet, so I could break it and cause her some measure of discomfort.
<
if it's any consolation i don't think i'd um
<
we mostly just made out a lot
<
after another are we moving too fast talk
>
... I'm honestly surprised we had that much self control
>
so we didn't actually…
>
yknow
>
insert euphemism here?
<
nah s'all cool we totally didn't
<
...wow i didn't sell that at all didi I
<
sorry
<
just trying to make you feel better about it all because
<
wow that sucks
<
and i don't know what to say or do
<
and my whole body and mind just hurts
<
im sorry
Hope, granted and taken away in the same moment, leaving me feeling as emotionally empty and drained as when I'd first figured it out. My numb fingers continued typing without me.
>
i'm
>
i want to say thanks for trying but
>
yeah, i'm sorry. There is a but.
>
i'm sick of trying to work out what happened in the patches i'm missing
>
and people just giving me bullshit or half-truths
>
i'm just gonna a break to think
>
i'm sorry
I didn't look at the replies, just - buried my face in my pillow and tried not to scream. Why did it hurt so much more
now? I had to - not think about it. Just get dressed, and go figure out what was taking Amy and Victoria so long.
I don't know what kind of system Victoria used to categorise her own clothes but it was a nightmare trying to find a full outfit of mine. Shirts in the bottom drawer and pants in the top drawer? She seemed like the kind of girl to make full use of a walk-in wardrobe.
Opening the door as quietly as I could, I peeked out into the hall. Stairs were over there, so I was on the second floor. Just like at home, cool. Though the carpet was - nicer, cleaner. Bannisters in white, plain white walls rather than peeling floral paper M- Annette complained about constantly but never replaced. And voices were coming from the room next to my new one.
It sounded like Victoria and Amy.
" - really not comfortable with this."
"I've already had to restabilise her a few times because of us trying your way." Amy's voice was firm, confident - more confident than I'd ever heard it. "Seriously, let it be."
Oh.
Oh. I scowled and stepped out, going to lean on the wall next to the room they were in. Folding my arms and just
waiting. Because of
course there were more lies.
"Because
letting it be is such a great part of heroing? God, this whole thing is such a
nightmarish mess." The flumping sound of someone throwing themselves onto a bed. "Ugh. I hate Masters. I hate not knowing the right words to use to explain things to her, I hate how sad and
lost she looked - "
"Hey." Amy's voice was - gentle? "You'll find a way. You're Glory Girl. You kick ass."
"Yeah, I kick ass, I'm not good at… talking ass."
"As that last sentence just proved."
Is this what Amy sounded like when she wasn't being bitchy? It was kind of a novel experience. And she sounded… almost
cute.
"Could you at least - help me try and find the words to give her a better explanation of what happened other than
oh it sucked, and now the PRT hates me?"
"I think that's pretty succinct and accurate."
"Amyyyyy," Victoria whined. "You're not helpingggg."
I sighed and and stepped into the room. "And you'd think the girl who's had trouble with her mother wiping her memories would have
issues with people hiding things from her."
Victoria leapt off the bed to hover around the ceiling. "We're not hiding anything! We just - ok, yeah. I was hiding. Temporarily. I just - I didn't know how to tell you about the stuff that happened. On the heist. That made it go badly."
"Your mom said a lot of weird shit."
"How was talking to Abby?"
"Went well until she lied to try and make me feel better." I looked away to glare at the doorhandle. It was… shiny. Not a very good distraction.
Victoria cringed into the ceiling stucco. "I am trying here. I just - it's complicated and I don't want to say it wrong."
"I could say it." Amy offered sarcastically.
"You'd
definitely say it wrong, Ames."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Why can't I just get the truth, sugar-coating be damned? My family situation's fucked up beyond any hope of recovery, my own mother's kidnapped me to keep me from being kidnapped by you two - er, rescued - and -" I threw my hands up in a shrug. "I've lost
two fucking days in which apparently
everything has happened."
"Because the truth sucks?" Amy gave her own shrug.
"But you do deserve it." Victoria flopped back onto the bed. The room as a whole was very plain - whose was it, hers or Amy's? It didn't really feel like it fit either of them. "Okay, from the top. So Friday evening, you and Abby headed off on your date…"