- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Right up there with: "Well, if he's still in there, he ain't happy."
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
All you know is that Omusa said their show has a positive focus and doesn't take people with skulls.
Maybe, but he definitely knows the "blast of water in the ear" trick, which is what he told Drew to do. Drew did and Taylor has been jolted out of his fascination, at least for now.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
I mean, they're still watching a death sport for funsies, and paying money to sponsor victims of the death game.
I imagine that, if we spin the narrative hard enough, mid-attack (not the first to attack, verbally say we're not here to fight fellow Crawlers, make a show of at least attempting nonlethal attacks at the start of combat before being forced to up the lethality in response to enemy acceleration of aggression) then we might be able to talk our way into staying on the show.
Something like "those badass Crawlers tried to give the enemy a way out. They tried talking, tried fleeing, even tried nonletheal. Shame their enemies were braindead chumps that didn't realize the party was doing them a favor. Ha!"
The skull becomes a happy point of pride, rather than a sad, shameful thing.
I imagine that, if we spin the narrative hard enough, mid-attack (not the first to attack, verbally say we're not here to fight fellow Crawlers, make a show of at least attempting nonlethal attacks at the start of combat before being forced to up the lethality in response to enemy acceleration of aggression) then we might be able to talk our way into staying on the show.
Something like "those badass Crawlers tried to give the enemy a way out. They tried talking, tried fleeing, even tried nonletheal. Shame their enemies were braindead chumps that didn't realize the party was doing them a favor. Ha!"
The skull becomes a happy point of pride, rather than a sad, shameful thing.
- Location
- Ivory Tower
Yes. I suppose that he doesn't have to say much. He just has to be there.
[X] Smoke Wall, Run Away, Blow their secrets in the chat (Leo speaks, leveraging charisma stat to spin things in our favor).
Last edited:
[X] Plan : Less Rizz
-[x] Caliope steps up for negotiations and advises Drew to halt his smoke but have it on standby instead of threatening them. She'll verbalize talking Drew down to lower tensions and give the other team an out.
-[x] Caliope and Naaji will be the ones exchanging info, Naaj will not address Taylor or Drew. If she complies, Drew should retract some of his smoke, but not completely as a show of good faith.
-[x] Taylor stops leading negotiations, takes out his respirator, and avoids listening, looking at, or speaking to Naaji.
-[x] If the other side attacks, Drew should make a smoke wall to give the team cover to escape. Taylor will have a response prepared for the chat network warning them about the Naaji's team whether they attack or not. He should ask his chat if anyone knows about them.
-[x] Moose should warn the team of any smells change or if his danger sense is no longer going off.
-[x] Caliope steps up for negotiations and advises Drew to halt his smoke but have it on standby instead of threatening them. She'll verbalize talking Drew down to lower tensions and give the other team an out.
-[x] Caliope and Naaji will be the ones exchanging info, Naaj will not address Taylor or Drew. If she complies, Drew should retract some of his smoke, but not completely as a show of good faith.
-[x] Taylor stops leading negotiations, takes out his respirator, and avoids listening, looking at, or speaking to Naaji.
-[x] If the other side attacks, Drew should make a smoke wall to give the team cover to escape. Taylor will have a response prepared for the chat network warning them about the Naaji's team whether they attack or not. He should ask his chat if anyone knows about them.
-[x] Moose should warn the team of any smells change or if his danger sense is no longer going off.
Vote closed
- Location
- Liverpool
[X] Smoke Wall, Run Away, Blow their secrets in the chat (Leo speaks, leveraging charisma stat to spin things in our favor).
Since voting didn't close. Incidentally, this is a tough spot, since realistically it's likely to become lethal, and these folks are clearly a murder squad, but it's bad for optics. If Omura's show wasn't a thing, I think the moral vs survival weight would tip towards immediately lethal.
Also! Just read the whole thing. Including all the class and race discussions, to understand context. The upside(?) of plugging your work in MfD is that now you have folks who are cross-pollinating more.
But, if it comes to a fight...I don't think we have a way to restrain them non-lethally and trying will get us killed. They're a pvp squad, we aren't, and we have, what, a level on them on average? We've got amazing class and race feats, but enough of it is long term or utility that I don't know if we could win if we didn't go immediately lethal if it comes to a fight.
... We could spin moose killing them as him protecting his family from scary skull invaders and his animal instincts acting? It's even true.
Since voting didn't close. Incidentally, this is a tough spot, since realistically it's likely to become lethal, and these folks are clearly a murder squad, but it's bad for optics. If Omura's show wasn't a thing, I think the moral vs survival weight would tip towards immediately lethal.
Also! Just read the whole thing. Including all the class and race discussions, to understand context. The upside(?) of plugging your work in MfD is that now you have folks who are cross-pollinating more.
But, if it comes to a fight...I don't think we have a way to restrain them non-lethally and trying will get us killed. They're a pvp squad, we aren't, and we have, what, a level on them on average? We've got amazing class and race feats, but enough of it is long term or utility that I don't know if we could win if we didn't go immediately lethal if it comes to a fight.
... We could spin moose killing them as him protecting his family from scary skull invaders and his animal instincts acting? It's even true.
Chapter 54: Player Killers
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 54: Player Killers
Taylor: Smoke wall and run!
He started backing himselves up, yo-yos whirling in rave mode and Glocks in his off hands.
"Back the fuck up," he said to the enemy team. "Back the fuck up or I shoot you in the head."
"Fuck you," Kurō said, his daggers back in his hands as he shook off Naaji's hand.
The cloud of smoke that Drew had released earlier swirled down, forming a vision-obscuring cloud between the two groups. Team Trick Shot turned and ran as fast as they could, aiming for the massive pillar that Moose was hiding behind. Behind them, the enemy team curved and raced forward, circling around the sides of the cloud. Drew tried to keep it in front of them but the smoke couldn't move as fast as a sprinting human.
Moose went past them in a streak, his fur glinting blue. He had chosen his course carefully, cutting right across the path of the enemy without quite striking them. All four of the crawler-killers dove to the side as Moose went past, giving Team Trick Shot plenty of time to get behind the pillar and out of sight.
"Where now?" Calliope asked.
"There," Taylor said, pointing at a nearby...creature? Machine? Automaton? Something. It was an articulated, worm-like thing covered in black chitin. Bristles came off the top, sides, and bottom, holding the thing a few inches above the ground. It was easily two hundred feet long and a bit under nine feet wide, articulated every twenty-ish feet so that the whole thing could be twisted around into various curves. The front was lined with an array of interlocking inward-pointing toothed grinding wheels that would draw in and crush anything they came in contact with. The mouth was currently open, the wheels pivoted outwards like barn doors being opened partway; presumably, it was to allow a mechanic to gain access to the inside of whatever this was. A ramp that looked far too much like a flopped-out tongue lead into the thing's inner darkness.
In the massive open machine shop, this was the only hiding place close enough to reach before the enemy team was on top of them. No one liked the idea. No one argued either.
The inside of the device was a long tube divided into multiple segments at each articulation point. The walls, floors, and ceilings sprouted grinding wheels, robot arms, and tangles of swooping chitin struts that crossed through the open area with no obvious purpose. The team hurried deeper inside, clambering over and under and around various machinery as they moved out of sight from the entrance.
"They'll still see our dots on the minimap," Calliope noted.
"One problem at a time," Taylor said. "First, let's get a little deeper so we aren't exposed to a magic missile or something being fired from outside.
Taylor: Moose, you okay?
Moose: MOOSE IS FINE! MOOSE PLAYED TAG WITH THE BAD GUYS FOR A BIT, THEN FLEW DEEPER INTO THE BAY AND PERCHED. THE PERCH IS TOO SMALL AND MOOSE HAS TO BE CAREFUL NOT TO FALL OFF! IT IS NOT COMFORTABLE! IT IS THE OPPOSITE OF COMFORTABLE, IT IS UNCOMFORTABLE!
"He is such a goofball," Calliope said with a grin.
Moose: MOOSE SEES YOU ON THE MAP! MOOSE ALSO SEES THE BAD GUYS! THEY ARE STANDING NEAR YOU, OUTSIDE THE BIG WORM THING! MOOSE'S SEEING EYE DOG CLASS GIVES HIM VERY GOOD SENSES! MOOSE IS A LONG WAY OFF AND CAN STILL READ THEIR LIPS!
Taylor: I didn't know you could read lips.
Moose: IT IS DIFFICULT, AND IT DOESN'T WORK UNLESS THEY ARE FACING MOOSE! ONLY THE WOMAN IS FACING MOOSE! SHE JUST SAID, 'BEE WOOD SMOKE THEM [SOMETHING]!' MOOSE COULD NOT GET THE LAST BIT! WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT BEES? WHAT IS BEE WOOD?
"There is no way she said that," Drew said, taking a heavy drag on his joint.
Moose: OH, SHE IS TALKING AGAIN! SHE SAYS, 'FAIR. BABY POO COULD USE YOUR [SOMETHING] BANG MEMBERS SPELL!' ISN'T 'MEMBER' ANOTHER WORD FOR MAN-BITS? IF SO, MOOSE THINKS THAT BANGING MEMBERS TOGETHER SOUNDS VERY PAINFUL!
Taylor: Is she talking to Octavius, the guy with the 'Gang Leader' class?
Moose: GASP! HOW DID TAYLOR KNOW? IS TAYLOR PSYCHIC?! MOOSE THINKS IT WOULD BE AWESOME TO HAVE A PEOPLE WHO IS PSYCHIC! TAYLOR COULD PREDICT THE LOTTO NUMBERS SO THAT HE WILL HAVE LOTS OF MONEY FOR BACON!
Taylor: Is it possible that she said 'Conjure Gang Members', or something like that?
Moose: ...THAT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE, YES. TAYLOR IS VERY SMART AS WELL AS BEING PSYCHIC!
Taylor cursed. "If that's anything like the Summon Pirates spell Drew was offered, whatever it was called, it could be a problem. They can send mooks in here after us and there's nothing we could do about it."
"There must be another exit from this thing," Calliope said. "We can try to run deeper into the worm, look for an escape hatch or something."
"They'll see us on their maps," Taylor said. "We're not going to make great time climbing around all this junk."
"Better'n doing nothing," Calliope said, moving off into the darkness without waiting for a response. Taylor sighed, Drew shrugged and conjured his Torch spell ahead of them, keeping the light as faint and low to the ground as possible so as not to be easily visible from outside.
As they forced their way deeper in, Taylor couldn't help wondering at the alien technology of the Zree—which this had to be, since no human would have designed such a thing. The walls were covered in sheets of what looked like muscle. He made the mistake of putting his hand on a wall as he climbed over an obstacle; the thing rippled at his touch, the rough and sticky surface rising up in waves and pushing his hand along from one peak to the next, dragging him deeper. He pulled free with a little effort.
"Hey," Calliope said, straightening up and looking at the ceiling. "What's this?"
The others gathered around, looking where she indicated. There was a small opening in the ceiling, leading up into a loft area barely two feet high.
"Hang on," Calliope said, grabbing the sides of the opening and hoisting herself up.
"Leo—" Taylor began, then shook his head. "Be careful." Sure, they didn't especially have time to be exploring but they also didn't have any good options for escape and needed to open new possibilities.
There came sounds of Calliope shifting around.
"Hey, cool," she muttered from above.
Silence.
"Well?" Taylor demanded. "What is—whoa!"
Blindingly-bright lights in the walls, floor, and ceiling had switched on, eliminating the tiniest trace of shadow from the inside of the machine. A moment later, the floor became sticky and started pulling them deeper into the guts of the thing, much as the wall had earlier. The machinery around them began to whir and come to life, saws and grinding surfaces slowly spinning up.
"Stop it, stop it!" Taylor cried, pulling away from a toothed drill face that was swinging into position right where he stood.
"Sorry, sorry!" The lights switched off and machinery went dead again, swinging back into their stowed positions against the walls.
"What the hell was that?" Taylor called up as he waited for the spots to fade from his vision.
"This is the cockpit!" Calliope said, excited. "It's a really snug fit, but there's controls up here that let me turn everything on. Nothing's labeled, though. Also, the fuel gauge, or battery power, or whatever it is, is blinking blue with a line right at the bottom. I think it's pretty much out of gas."
"Makes sense, if it's in for repairs," Taylor said.
Moose: WHAT HAPPENED?! THE THINGY LIT UP AND SHONE A GIANT FLASHLIGHT ACROSS THE ROOM. IT BLINDED THE BAD GUYS! THEY ARE RUBBING THEIR EYES AND MOOSE THINKS THEY ARE SAYING BAD WORDS!
Taylor: Leo found the cockpit and turned the machine on. Hold one.
"Leo, can you drive us out of here?"
Drew finished his blunt and immediately chain-smoked another one, dragging hard.
"I think so? Hang on, tell me what this does."
"Ow! That's the lights."
The lights went out. "And this?"
"Drills, drills! Badbadbad!"
The grinding machinery turned off, leaving Drew and Taylor once more unmasticated.
There followed a whole series of exploration, most of which accomplished nothing that the men could see. Finally, the whole biomech—since that was clearly what it was—lurched forward a few feet, tumbling Drew and Taylor to the floor. Taylor Orange smacked his head hard on a protruding strut and had to hit his Heal spell.
"I think I got this!" Calliope called.
The biomech lurched again, clumping forward a few feet. It jerked to the left, then spasmed forward again. From outside, Taylor could hear cries of alarm from the player killers.
The enormous biomech jerked and twisted and convulsed its way across the floor of the machine shop. Several times it reared up or slammed its nose into the floor, arching up as though trying to balance upright. Drew and Taylor clutched onto internal struts for dear life and braced as hard as they could. The noise inside the device was apocalyptic; it sounds like a giant was continuously throwing entire kitchens' worth of pots and pans down a very long staircase.
"Jesus, Leo!" Drew called up. "What are you doing?"
"Sorry! The controls aren't made for a human. I think they expect you to have—whoa!—several extra limbs. I'm doing my best."
"Head for the door!" Taylor called from where he was using all eight limbs to wedge himselves in between several brackets.
"I'm trying! It's hard to steer."
Moose: THE BAD GUYS ARE RUNNING ALONGSIDE YOU! THEY LOOK ANGRY! OH NO, A WHOLE BUNCH OF NEW PEOPLES JUST APPEARED! THEY ARE BIG MEN WITH LONG BEARDS AND BIG BELLIES! THEY LOOK A LITTLE LIKE ZZ TOP IF ZZ TOP GOT FAT! THEY ARE ALL WEARING LEATHER VESTS AND HAVE GUNS!
A hailstorm of impacts against the outer surface filled the inside of the device with noise. The hailstorm continued and bits of chitin began to fly off the walls and bounce around inside the biomech.
"Holy shit!" Drew yelled. "Leo, can you make this thing go any faster?!"
"I'm trying! There's weird feedback in my brain and I think ima hurl pretty soon! Hang on, let me try something."
The biomech suddenly stopped moving forward and began to whip furiously back and forth in place.
Moose: OOH, YOU BUTTSMACKED THE GUY WITH THE ROBES! HE WENT ALL THE WAY INTO THE RED AND GOT THROWN TWENTY FEET! HIS FRIENDS MUST HAVE USED A HEAL SCROLL BECAUSE HE IS BACK ON HIS FEET AND IN THE GREEN! OOH, HE DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY!
Taylor: Thanks for the update, keep 'em coming.
Moose: OKAY!
The biomech convulsed back into motion, stumble-thrashing its way across the floor of the enormous repair cavern towards the entrance at furious speed. There was a massive clang! as it bounced off one of the large pillars; the impact bounced Drew and Taylor around inside the device like pinballs, battering them nearly unconscious and forcing them to slam on their Heal spells. More gunfire slammed into the thing and more fragments of chitin and various unknown fluids spanged around inside. Taylor Blue got hit in the gut with a thumb-sized spear of shattered chitin. He would have died in minutes outside the dungeon, but a healing potion ejected the chitin from his body and repaired the damage. It did not take away the remembered agony of having his stomach and intenstines mulched, but that was a problem for later.
After an eternity of noise and pain, the biomech came to a halt.
"Last stop, everybody out!" Calliope called, eeling her way out of the cockpit. "Battery's empty, we gotta go!" She ran for the mouth and out into the steady light of the machine shop.
Taylor followed her, glancing over one shoulder as he stepped off the tongue-ramp and once more onto reassuringly solid and unmoving stone. The player killers were about a football field away and running towards them, angrily shouting something that he didn't bother to parse.
"Train!" Calliope shouted, racing forward into the tunnel just as a horse-sized Moose dropped to the ground next to them, wings folding closed with a neat flip.
Only then did Taylor notice what younger ears had caught sooner: the hiss of a train braking as it pulled into the station. He set off at a dead sprint, drawing on every scrap of speed that a 20 Dexterity would grant him.
He came around the corner to the platform to find the train stopped, its doors open. Calliope, speed boosted by her catgirl race, was leaping aboard with Drew a few steps behind her. There was a ding! as the train signaled its intent to start moving.
Taylor body-flickered forward, closing the distance with teleport-based speed and jumping aboard. Blue turned to check for Moose while Orange pulled a massive slab of metal from his inventory, hoping that it would be enough to brace the doors open.
Moose had been hanging back to ensure that he was between his peoples and the bad guys, but with no further need to play rear guard he was running for all he was worth. He leaped, shrinking in midair, and dropped into the train car just as the doors slammed shut behind him. It was so close that he would have lost his tail if it hadn't been curled up.
"Nowwww departing, station 123! Next stop is station 124 in seventeen minutes! Please watch your step and thank you for riding the Iron Tangle!" came the announcement.
The train lurched into motion and everyone slumped in exhaustion.
Author's Note: Wow, that was a bit of a hiatus. Ugh.
You have successfully escaped from the player killers. You are now on the train headed up the line. Where would you like to go next?
Voting is open.
- [] I don't care what we do, let EJ decide
- [] Find a saferoom and chill, open boxes, and catch a nap
- [] Check out a farm
- [] Check out a medical bay
- [] Contact other people, see what's going on with them
- [] write in
Old Achievement! Discordian Delight
You are invited to drop by the #dungeon-crawler-you channel in the Quests and Stuff Discord. (That second link is an invite to the server.)
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
How many boxes do we have? Doing that and checking in with Levi seems like a reasonable idea if we've accumulated some.
SoixanteZio
Dead man walking
- Location
- anywhere
It's alive! And so is the crew. I'll be real I expected a death or maiming with this encounter.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Author's Note: This is what I originally started writing for chapter 54; I got partway in and realized that I was subverting the will of the players, who had wanted to run instead of fight. Therefore, I threw it out and started over. I post it here for your interest but it is NOT canon.
Taylor: Smoke wall and run!
He started backing himselves up, yo-yos whirling in rave mode and Glocks in his off hands.
"Back the fuck up," he said to the enemy team. "Back the fuck up or I shoot you in the head."
"Fuck you," Kurō said, his daggers back in his hands as he shook off Naaji's hand.
Cold metal circles, the barrel ends of two Glocks, pressed to the back of Kurō's and Naaji's heads as Taylor Orange swapped weapons and teleported behind the enemy team.
"Don't want to back up? Then let's go with not moving," Taylor Blue said, backing away. "Not kidding, boyo, if any of you move, if I start thinking Naaji is hot, you're going to be picking these two's brains up off the dirt."
Team Trick Shot was in full retreat as a wall of smoke billowed up between the two teams, blocking sight of one another from everyone except the Multacorpalan who stood on both sides of the wall at once.
Octavius's head turned, checking what the situation was with Taylor before reacting. Taylor pressed the pistols a little harder into his captives' heads even as he and the others ran for it.
"Blow their secrets to the chat," Taylor Blue called to Calliope as the three of them charged towards the far wall of the maintenance bay, Moose gallumphing beside them.
Calliope: Hey, mah doodz and doodettes, this is Calliope comin' atcha with a hot tip: there's this team, Naaji, Kuro, Octavius, Santana. They're like, suuuuper evil. Just, like, all the skulls. Jobs are Priest of Desecration, Gang Lord, Inquisitional Pres-something (it's a priest), and Ritualist of Nirti. The priest guy has a robe with a cross painted in blood, covered in flies. Super gross. Kuro has this invisibility suit, so keep an eye out. Anyway, the chick, Nirti, wears nothing but scarves with blood on them and has some kind of mind control. Rocked up to us, smiling and jiggling her boobs, Uncle Taylor gets googly-eyed and has a tent in his pants, utterly convinced that these people were the all the awesome despite every piece of evidence.
Calliope: Sorry, the chick is Naaji, not Nirti. Nirti is her god. Apparently Hindu goddess of death, although Naaji said it was the goddess of the southwest, lying meatball that she is.
Ashok Ven: It's Nirrti, not Nirti. And yes, she is the goddess of death but it's also true that she is the goddess of the SW. People ask her favor when they travel.
Victor Alexseev 2: No one likes a know it all, Ashok. Thank you for the warning, Calliope. We will be on watch for them.
Nirrti: This is so distorted it might as well be lies! We did nothing wrong! We walked up to them, hoping to make friends and exchange information. We explained that the skulls were from us defending ourselves against a large party of player-killers and suddenly they became hostile for no reason! Drew raised a weapon at my friend and said he was going to murder us all if we didn't leave immediately! One of them has a gun pressed to my and Octavius's heads right now while the rest of them are running away!
Octavius: They abandoned their friend to hold us here while they flee for their lives, even though we didn't threaten them. You don't abandon your friends. And you don't hold a gun to the heads of people who haven't done anything to you.
"Shut the fuck up," Taylor Orange said, grinding his pistol into Octavius's head a little harder. "No more chatting."
Octavius raised his hands in surrender...and then spun, left arm knocking Taylor's pistol away as his right lashed out, striking Taylor's left forearm and knocking the pistol away from Nirrti. The impact sent the weapon flying, and Octavius's follow-up jab to Taylor's chin sent the Multacorpalan stumbling back, knees rubbery and vision speckled. His remaining pistol discharged but it was pointed only at the floor and the bullet did nothing.
Callipe: Didn't do anything wrong?! Bitch, please, your buddy cast an emotion-control spell on me at the same time you and your magical massive tiddies were getting Uncle Taylor all drooly!
"Please don't say 'massive tiddies'," Drew said, wincing. He pulled up short as Taylor Blue staggered, almost going to his knees. Drew grabbed him by the arm and held him up, the other two skidding to a stop alongside. Behind them, the smoke wall had dispersed as Drew moved out of range, but the team had put one of the massive pillars between themselves and the enemy.
"Taylor, bring Orange here now," Drew said firmly. "Taylor!" He shook his friend's arm to wake him up.
Taylor doubled over, hands going to his stomach as though he'd been kicked.
"TAYLOR!"
Moose: MOOSE IS ON IT!
The enormous dog galloped back the way they had come. Enormous wings snapped out and he leaped into the air, soaring upwards and accelerating.
Moose: TAYLOR! BRING ORANGE TO BLUE!
Octavius: Let's try this again. I'm going to gut your friend in ten seconds unless all of you stay out of the public chat and come back here.
Moose: Step away from Taylor right now or I will kill you.
Taylor Blue was blinking rapidly, stumbling and rubber-kneed. Calliope and Drew looked at each other.
"What do we do?" Calliope asked. "If we go back they'll try to kill us. If we don't, they'll kill Unc."
Drew considered that for a moment. "I dunno. Can we buy time? If he gets his head back together he can just bamf out."
Calliope quickly dug into her chat menus, finding the names of the enemy team and assembling them into a new chat group with Team Trick Shot.
Calliope: You'll kill all of us if we come back. Tell me we've got a way to win here.
Octavius: Five seconds.
Calliope: Whoa, whoa! Look, we don't want to fight you and you don't want to fight us. Sure, maybe you win, but we'll take at least one of you with us. C'mon, Uncle Taylor is on the Top Ten, you've got to realize we're not pushovers.
Kurō: Bottom of the top ten just means he's got a 100,000 gold bounty, bitch. Get your ass back here.
Moose: [private to us] OOOH, KURŌ WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! OCTAVIUS IS VERY GRUMPY WITH KURŌ! HE IS GOING ALL SCOLDY-SCOLD! MOOSE IS CIRCLING ABOVE THEM AND WATCHING. THEY SEE HIM. ICKY BLOOD-ROBES GUY IS WATCHING MOOSE'S EVERY MOVE!
Octavius: Three seconds.
Calliope looked helplessly at Drew, who shrugged. They each grabbed one of Taylor's arms and helped him back towards the enemy at their very best shuffle-trot.
Calliope: We're coming. Taylor is all wobbly from whatever you did to him so it's taking a second. Moose, stand down until we get there. Stay back from them.
Octavius: Two.
Octavius: Oh, there you are.
They had swung wide enough that the pillar was no longer between them and the enemy team.
Taylor Orange was on his back, Naaji straddling him and leaning close, staring into his eyes. Octavius stood next to her, smoking a cigarette and casually swinging the chain that wrapped around his right wrist. Santana, the Inquisitional Presybter with the blood-painted robes, was tracking on Moose, who had sitting, wings folded and teeth bared, about sixty feet away. There was no sign of Kurō.
Octavius: Stop dragging your feet.
Calliope and Drew half-carried Taylor Blue back until they were close enough to talk with only slightly raised voices.
"We're back," Calliope called. "Let him up and let's talk."
"Let the teleporter up?" Octavius said with a smile. He flicked his cigarette away and hooked his left thumb in his belt, swinging the chain on his right wrist a little more. "I don't think so. I don't like to shout, so come over here and talk like civilized people or Naaji will turn his brain into pudding, permanently."
Moose growled, low and soft.
"You lie down, dog," Octavius said.
Moose's snarl became the sound of tearing metal at being ordered around by the man who was currently threatening Taylor. He leaned forward.
"Naaji. Blade," Octavius said, not looking away from Moose.
A dagger appeared in Naaji's hand. She never took her eyes off of Taylor's.
"Okay, okay!" Calliope said, raising both hands in placation. "Moose, do it. It'll be okay."
Moose's murderous growl spooled down into a low rumble, but he obeyed.
Slowly, Drew and Calliope lugged a stumbling Taylor Blue back to conversational distance of the player killers. They lowered him to the ground where he sprawled out in a vaguely-conscious puddle.
"You know there's no way this goes well for you, right?" Calliope asked. "Think about it. Say you kill us; we're in the personal chat list of hundreds of people. The minute we die, we get marked as deceased in their contacts and they'll know it was you. You won't be able to run that 'we were just defending ourselves' scam anymore. Let Uncle Taylor up, walk away, I'll tell the chat that it was all a big misunderstanding and I take back what I said."
Santana snorted.
"And two seconds later you'll say 'psych, I totally meant it'."
Calliope snorted. "Dude, no one says 'psych' anymore."
"Not the time, Calliope," Drew said from gritted teeth.
"Right, sorry." She spread her hands. "Look, is there a way for this to end where everyone is alive? Sure, you can kill Unc before we can stop you, and maybe you can even beat our team, but I guarantee that you're not going to get all of us without some of you dying too. Who wants to gamble that you'll be the one who survives? You, priest guy? You want to take that bet?"
"We're not worried," Octavius said with a smile.
Moose: MOOSE'S 'SNIFF OUT CRAWLER' SKILL IS WORKING! INVISIBLE DUDE IS TO DREW'S BACK-RIGHT, ABOUT THIRTY FEET AWAY.
"Then what are we doing here?" Calliope asked. "If you're going to start something, start it. If not...what are we doing?"
"We're giving you the chance to make up for the way you've disrespected us," Octavius said. "Your little stunt in the chat has caused me a problem, girl. Convince me that you can fix it."
Calliope cocked her head, studying the Gang Leader as she suddenly realized what she was seeing: not cold calculation but a desperate attempt to cover up uncertainty.
Moose: IF TEAM ICKY-GUYS WANTS TO STOP BEING NASTY SKULL-EARNING PEOPLE, TEAM TRICK SHOT COULD SET THEM UP WITH GOOD GEAR AND GOOD CONTACTS. WORKING TOGETHER IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOT.
"Talking dog. Yeah, that'll never not be weird," Santana muttered.
Moose: MOOSE IS VERY SMART DOG! AND FRIENDLY...UNLESS YOU HURT HIS PEOPLE, AT WHICH POINT HE WILL CRUSH YOU INTO PASTE WITH ONE STOMP. JUST SAYING.
"What's with the all-caps?" Santana asked. "Your earlier chat was normal."
"Santana." Octavius's single quiet word caused the priest to snap his mouth closed.
Moose: MOOSE IS A CUTE AND ADORABLE AND NON-THREATENING DOGGY! For now.
"Could everyone please take a goddamn breath?!" Calliope demanded, exasperated. "Jesus Christ, how is it that the impulsive teenager is the only person in the room not making threats?"
"I haven't said a word," Drew noted. "Although there is one thing I'm tempted to say."
"Stay cool, Uncle Drew," Calliope hissed. "We're still talking."
"Listen to your niece," Octavius said. "You still have a shot at convincing us to let you live."
Moose growled.
"Jesus fucking CHRIST, what is wrong with you people?!" Calliope shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "All of you! Fuck, why am I the diplomat here?! Dude, seriously. He's a flying dog the size of an elephant and he's got magic powers that you don't know. You honestly think you're going to live through that?"
"I like our chances," Octavius said, smiling slightly. "You people don't have the spine to fight humans."
"Gravity Anvil," Drew said.
The air thickened for a moment. Nothing else happened.
Octavius and Santana exchanged looks, then looked to Naaji where she knelt atop Taylor.
"It was an environmental effect of some kind," the woman said, not looking away from her victim. "Stability of Death canceled it."
Octavius turned back to Drew, but before he could speak things started happening very fast.
Drew snarled, his face twisting into a mask of rage as he pulled his Tavor shotgun into his hands and dumped five shells of birdshot into Naaji.
Author's Note, part deux: This is the part where, as stated above. I realized I was subverting the will of the players and thus threw out the chapter.
(Noncanon) Chapter 54, the original version
Taylor: Smoke wall and run!
He started backing himselves up, yo-yos whirling in rave mode and Glocks in his off hands.
"Back the fuck up," he said to the enemy team. "Back the fuck up or I shoot you in the head."
"Fuck you," Kurō said, his daggers back in his hands as he shook off Naaji's hand.
Cold metal circles, the barrel ends of two Glocks, pressed to the back of Kurō's and Naaji's heads as Taylor Orange swapped weapons and teleported behind the enemy team.
"Don't want to back up? Then let's go with not moving," Taylor Blue said, backing away. "Not kidding, boyo, if any of you move, if I start thinking Naaji is hot, you're going to be picking these two's brains up off the dirt."
Team Trick Shot was in full retreat as a wall of smoke billowed up between the two teams, blocking sight of one another from everyone except the Multacorpalan who stood on both sides of the wall at once.
Octavius's head turned, checking what the situation was with Taylor before reacting. Taylor pressed the pistols a little harder into his captives' heads even as he and the others ran for it.
"Blow their secrets to the chat," Taylor Blue called to Calliope as the three of them charged towards the far wall of the maintenance bay, Moose gallumphing beside them.
Calliope: Hey, mah doodz and doodettes, this is Calliope comin' atcha with a hot tip: there's this team, Naaji, Kuro, Octavius, Santana. They're like, suuuuper evil. Just, like, all the skulls. Jobs are Priest of Desecration, Gang Lord, Inquisitional Pres-something (it's a priest), and Ritualist of Nirti. The priest guy has a robe with a cross painted in blood, covered in flies. Super gross. Kuro has this invisibility suit, so keep an eye out. Anyway, the chick, Nirti, wears nothing but scarves with blood on them and has some kind of mind control. Rocked up to us, smiling and jiggling her boobs, Uncle Taylor gets googly-eyed and has a tent in his pants, utterly convinced that these people were the all the awesome despite every piece of evidence.
Calliope: Sorry, the chick is Naaji, not Nirti. Nirti is her god. Apparently Hindu goddess of death, although Naaji said it was the goddess of the southwest, lying meatball that she is.
Ashok Ven: It's Nirrti, not Nirti. And yes, she is the goddess of death but it's also true that she is the goddess of the SW. People ask her favor when they travel.
Victor Alexseev 2: No one likes a know it all, Ashok. Thank you for the warning, Calliope. We will be on watch for them.
Nirrti: This is so distorted it might as well be lies! We did nothing wrong! We walked up to them, hoping to make friends and exchange information. We explained that the skulls were from us defending ourselves against a large party of player-killers and suddenly they became hostile for no reason! Drew raised a weapon at my friend and said he was going to murder us all if we didn't leave immediately! One of them has a gun pressed to my and Octavius's heads right now while the rest of them are running away!
Octavius: They abandoned their friend to hold us here while they flee for their lives, even though we didn't threaten them. You don't abandon your friends. And you don't hold a gun to the heads of people who haven't done anything to you.
"Shut the fuck up," Taylor Orange said, grinding his pistol into Octavius's head a little harder. "No more chatting."
Octavius raised his hands in surrender...and then spun, left arm knocking Taylor's pistol away as his right lashed out, striking Taylor's left forearm and knocking the pistol away from Nirrti. The impact sent the weapon flying, and Octavius's follow-up jab to Taylor's chin sent the Multacorpalan stumbling back, knees rubbery and vision speckled. His remaining pistol discharged but it was pointed only at the floor and the bullet did nothing.
Callipe: Didn't do anything wrong?! Bitch, please, your buddy cast an emotion-control spell on me at the same time you and your magical massive tiddies were getting Uncle Taylor all drooly!
"Please don't say 'massive tiddies'," Drew said, wincing. He pulled up short as Taylor Blue staggered, almost going to his knees. Drew grabbed him by the arm and held him up, the other two skidding to a stop alongside. Behind them, the smoke wall had dispersed as Drew moved out of range, but the team had put one of the massive pillars between themselves and the enemy.
"Taylor, bring Orange here now," Drew said firmly. "Taylor!" He shook his friend's arm to wake him up.
Taylor doubled over, hands going to his stomach as though he'd been kicked.
"TAYLOR!"
Moose: MOOSE IS ON IT!
The enormous dog galloped back the way they had come. Enormous wings snapped out and he leaped into the air, soaring upwards and accelerating.
Moose: TAYLOR! BRING ORANGE TO BLUE!
Octavius: Let's try this again. I'm going to gut your friend in ten seconds unless all of you stay out of the public chat and come back here.
Moose: Step away from Taylor right now or I will kill you.
Taylor Blue was blinking rapidly, stumbling and rubber-kneed. Calliope and Drew looked at each other.
"What do we do?" Calliope asked. "If we go back they'll try to kill us. If we don't, they'll kill Unc."
Drew considered that for a moment. "I dunno. Can we buy time? If he gets his head back together he can just bamf out."
Calliope quickly dug into her chat menus, finding the names of the enemy team and assembling them into a new chat group with Team Trick Shot.
Calliope: You'll kill all of us if we come back. Tell me we've got a way to win here.
Octavius: Five seconds.
Calliope: Whoa, whoa! Look, we don't want to fight you and you don't want to fight us. Sure, maybe you win, but we'll take at least one of you with us. C'mon, Uncle Taylor is on the Top Ten, you've got to realize we're not pushovers.
Kurō: Bottom of the top ten just means he's got a 100,000 gold bounty, bitch. Get your ass back here.
Moose: [private to us] OOOH, KURŌ WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! OCTAVIUS IS VERY GRUMPY WITH KURŌ! HE IS GOING ALL SCOLDY-SCOLD! MOOSE IS CIRCLING ABOVE THEM AND WATCHING. THEY SEE HIM. ICKY BLOOD-ROBES GUY IS WATCHING MOOSE'S EVERY MOVE!
Octavius: Three seconds.
Calliope looked helplessly at Drew, who shrugged. They each grabbed one of Taylor's arms and helped him back towards the enemy at their very best shuffle-trot.
Calliope: We're coming. Taylor is all wobbly from whatever you did to him so it's taking a second. Moose, stand down until we get there. Stay back from them.
Octavius: Two.
Octavius: Oh, there you are.
They had swung wide enough that the pillar was no longer between them and the enemy team.
Taylor Orange was on his back, Naaji straddling him and leaning close, staring into his eyes. Octavius stood next to her, smoking a cigarette and casually swinging the chain that wrapped around his right wrist. Santana, the Inquisitional Presybter with the blood-painted robes, was tracking on Moose, who had sitting, wings folded and teeth bared, about sixty feet away. There was no sign of Kurō.
Octavius: Stop dragging your feet.
Calliope and Drew half-carried Taylor Blue back until they were close enough to talk with only slightly raised voices.
"We're back," Calliope called. "Let him up and let's talk."
"Let the teleporter up?" Octavius said with a smile. He flicked his cigarette away and hooked his left thumb in his belt, swinging the chain on his right wrist a little more. "I don't think so. I don't like to shout, so come over here and talk like civilized people or Naaji will turn his brain into pudding, permanently."
Moose growled, low and soft.
"You lie down, dog," Octavius said.
Moose's snarl became the sound of tearing metal at being ordered around by the man who was currently threatening Taylor. He leaned forward.
"Naaji. Blade," Octavius said, not looking away from Moose.
A dagger appeared in Naaji's hand. She never took her eyes off of Taylor's.
"Okay, okay!" Calliope said, raising both hands in placation. "Moose, do it. It'll be okay."
Moose's murderous growl spooled down into a low rumble, but he obeyed.
Slowly, Drew and Calliope lugged a stumbling Taylor Blue back to conversational distance of the player killers. They lowered him to the ground where he sprawled out in a vaguely-conscious puddle.
"You know there's no way this goes well for you, right?" Calliope asked. "Think about it. Say you kill us; we're in the personal chat list of hundreds of people. The minute we die, we get marked as deceased in their contacts and they'll know it was you. You won't be able to run that 'we were just defending ourselves' scam anymore. Let Uncle Taylor up, walk away, I'll tell the chat that it was all a big misunderstanding and I take back what I said."
Santana snorted.
"And two seconds later you'll say 'psych, I totally meant it'."
Calliope snorted. "Dude, no one says 'psych' anymore."
"Not the time, Calliope," Drew said from gritted teeth.
"Right, sorry." She spread her hands. "Look, is there a way for this to end where everyone is alive? Sure, you can kill Unc before we can stop you, and maybe you can even beat our team, but I guarantee that you're not going to get all of us without some of you dying too. Who wants to gamble that you'll be the one who survives? You, priest guy? You want to take that bet?"
"We're not worried," Octavius said with a smile.
Moose: MOOSE'S 'SNIFF OUT CRAWLER' SKILL IS WORKING! INVISIBLE DUDE IS TO DREW'S BACK-RIGHT, ABOUT THIRTY FEET AWAY.
"Then what are we doing here?" Calliope asked. "If you're going to start something, start it. If not...what are we doing?"
"We're giving you the chance to make up for the way you've disrespected us," Octavius said. "Your little stunt in the chat has caused me a problem, girl. Convince me that you can fix it."
Calliope cocked her head, studying the Gang Leader as she suddenly realized what she was seeing: not cold calculation but a desperate attempt to cover up uncertainty.
Moose: IF TEAM ICKY-GUYS WANTS TO STOP BEING NASTY SKULL-EARNING PEOPLE, TEAM TRICK SHOT COULD SET THEM UP WITH GOOD GEAR AND GOOD CONTACTS. WORKING TOGETHER IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOT.
"Talking dog. Yeah, that'll never not be weird," Santana muttered.
Moose: MOOSE IS VERY SMART DOG! AND FRIENDLY...UNLESS YOU HURT HIS PEOPLE, AT WHICH POINT HE WILL CRUSH YOU INTO PASTE WITH ONE STOMP. JUST SAYING.
"What's with the all-caps?" Santana asked. "Your earlier chat was normal."
"Santana." Octavius's single quiet word caused the priest to snap his mouth closed.
Moose: MOOSE IS A CUTE AND ADORABLE AND NON-THREATENING DOGGY! For now.
"Could everyone please take a goddamn breath?!" Calliope demanded, exasperated. "Jesus Christ, how is it that the impulsive teenager is the only person in the room not making threats?"
"I haven't said a word," Drew noted. "Although there is one thing I'm tempted to say."
"Stay cool, Uncle Drew," Calliope hissed. "We're still talking."
"Listen to your niece," Octavius said. "You still have a shot at convincing us to let you live."
Moose growled.
"Jesus fucking CHRIST, what is wrong with you people?!" Calliope shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "All of you! Fuck, why am I the diplomat here?! Dude, seriously. He's a flying dog the size of an elephant and he's got magic powers that you don't know. You honestly think you're going to live through that?"
"I like our chances," Octavius said, smiling slightly. "You people don't have the spine to fight humans."
"Gravity Anvil," Drew said.
The air thickened for a moment. Nothing else happened.
Octavius and Santana exchanged looks, then looked to Naaji where she knelt atop Taylor.
"It was an environmental effect of some kind," the woman said, not looking away from her victim. "Stability of Death canceled it."
Octavius turned back to Drew, but before he could speak things started happening very fast.
Drew snarled, his face twisting into a mask of rage as he pulled his Tavor shotgun into his hands and dumped five shells of birdshot into Naaji.
Author's Note, part deux: This is the part where, as stated above. I realized I was subverting the will of the players and thus threw out the chapter.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Summary of recent history for those who don't want to reread multiple chapters:
The team left the saferoom a few hours ago, went up to the machine shop, and explored around a bit until a bunch of people with player killer skulls showed up. The bad guys used some lust-based mind control on Taylor, which Drew broke him out of, and used a buff on Calliope which makes her immune (highly resistant?) to emotion-manipulation effects, but it also stabilizes her emotions, preventing her from feeling fear/suspicion/etc. The team decided they didn't want to deal with this and ran for it. They have earned a small handful of boxes since leaving the saferoom.
The team left the saferoom a few hours ago, went up to the machine shop, and explored around a bit until a bunch of people with player killer skulls showed up. The bad guys used some lust-based mind control on Taylor, which Drew broke him out of, and used a buff on Calliope which makes her immune (highly resistant?) to emotion-manipulation effects, but it also stabilizes her emotions, preventing her from feeling fear/suspicion/etc. The team decided they didn't want to deal with this and ran for it. They have earned a small handful of boxes since leaving the saferoom.
Welcome back EJ and everyone else reading this! Secondly, thank Dinniman the train we jumped on to get away wasn't one of the named lines!
[X] Communication Warfare
First thing we need to do is send message blast about this group to warn people. We didn't want the skulls we would get for facing them but we can't let anyone else who runs across them get suckered as well. We should also warn our friends about the emotional stability buff being used to forcibly calm someone. I don't want to put that in message blast to give any other baddies on there the idea.
Is it possible for Taylor to remove the baddies from the message group or if not change their names to show *Player Killers* or 💀s or something? Removal would be best so they can't benefit from info.
[X] Lucky number 7
I went back and read a few of the most recent chapters and in it we had told Charlie we would see if we could find anything special at stations ending in 7. Since we aren't far from one and I don't think there's an anything immediate to investigate why don't we take the train there and check it out.
[X] Communication Warfare
First thing we need to do is send message blast about this group to warn people. We didn't want the skulls we would get for facing them but we can't let anyone else who runs across them get suckered as well. We should also warn our friends about the emotional stability buff being used to forcibly calm someone. I don't want to put that in message blast to give any other baddies on there the idea.
Is it possible for Taylor to remove the baddies from the message group or if not change their names to show *Player Killers* or 💀s or something? Removal would be best so they can't benefit from info.
[X] Lucky number 7
I went back and read a few of the most recent chapters and in it we had told Charlie we would see if we could find anything special at stations ending in 7. Since we aren't far from one and I don't think there's an anything immediate to investigate why don't we take the train there and check it out.
We did a load of platform grinding before we talked to the terminal and then we went looking for the biomechs.
The player killers control the biomech room. Let's hope they don't find a way to power them. Are the fat bikers a summon?
[X] Communication Warfare
Last edited:
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] Lucky number 7
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Unfortunately, no. He's not an admin or anything like that, he's simply the guy who knew what buttons people could press to form a mesh network.
Yup.
- Location
- Liverpool
Genuinely appreciate realizing that cool fighting update isn't the direction the players wanted, and putting extra effort into re-writing it. FWIW, the newer chapter is really cool!
Vote closed
Chapter 55: Big Pipe Energy
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 55: Big Pipe Energy
"Calliope, blow their secrets to the chat," Taylor Blue said, sagging into a seat against the subway car's starboard wall and allowing his head to drop back in exhaustion. "We don't want anyone else getting caught by those assholes." He didn't even care that the seat was soaked in the blood of the humanoid cats the team had wiped out when they first jumped aboard.
"On it."
Calliope: Hey, mah doodz and doodettes, this is Calliope comin' atcha with a hot tip: there's this team, Naaji, Kuro, Octavius, Santana. They're like, suuuuper evil. Just, like, all the skulls. Jobs are Priest of Desecration, Gang Lord, Inquisitional Pres-something (it's a priest), and Ritualist of Nirti. The priest guy has a robe with a cross painted in blood, covered in flies. Super gross. Kuro has this invisibility suit, so keep an eye out. Anyway, the chick, Nirti, wears nothing but scarves with blood on them and has some kind of mind control. Rocked up to us, smiling and jiggling her boobs, Uncle Taylor gets googly-eyed and has a tent in his pants, utterly convinced that these people were the hotsauce despite every piece of evidence.
Calliope: Sorry, the chick is Naaji, not Nirti. Nirti is her god. Apparently Hindu goddess of death, although Naaji said it was the goddess of the southwest, lying meatball that she is.
Ashok Ven: It's Nirrti, not Nirti. And yes, she is the goddess of death but it's also true that she is the goddess of the SW. People ask her favor when they travel.
Victor Alexseev 2: No one likes a know it all, Ashok. Thank you for the warning, Calliope. We will be on watch for them.
Nirrti: This is so distorted it might as well be lies! We did nothing wrong! We walked up to them, hoping to make friends and exchange information. We explained that the skulls were from us defending ourselves against a large party of player-killers and suddenly they became hostile for no reason! Drew raised a weapon at my friend and said he was going to murder us all if we didn't leave immediately!
Calliope: Didn't do anything wrong?! Bitch, please, your buddy cast an emotion-control spell on me at the same time you and your magical massive tiddies were getting Uncle Taylor all drooly!
"Please don't say 'massive tiddies'," Taylor said, wincing.
Calliope: Anyway, you can believe them, a bunch of assholes with just alllll the skulls, or you can believe us, the group that has zero skulls and got this whole chat system turned on just to help everyone. Your call. Calliope out, bitches!
Taylor: In case it helps: everything Calliope said is true. Also, this all happened in one of the machine bays. Enormous place filled with pillars, equipment, and heavy machinery, some or all of which can be used as vehicles. We were briefly able to capture and ride an enormous mecha shaped like a snake. Hard as hell to drive—Calliope was in the pilot's seat and Drew and I were getting smashed around like rocks in a tumble dryer. Still, we managed it, and I'm pretty sure that the machine was designed to dig through rock—the insides were full of drills and grinding surfaces. We had to abandon the machine shop to get away from Team Murder and the snake we were driving ran out of power almost immediately, but if anyone can find a charged-up version of one of those, it might be possible to dig tunnels straight to the exit stairs.
Chandler F: Oh, damn, that is fire! I need to get one of those! It would be like having a Gundam!
"A Gundam?" Drew asked. Calliope shrugged helplessly.
Jacob Z: Gundam, seriously? Ugh, that show is so overrated.
Chandler F: Guzzle my cum, asshole! Gundam: The Origin is the best anime ever!
Catherine Foxworth: I apologize for Chandler, everyone. He is not allowed to speak like that and he will be punished for it. I think it may be because his Ritalin ran out.
Anna Bianchi: nah. haven't had my pills since we got in here, but no siezures. p sure the dugneon fixes any health issues u have the minute u walk through the doors
Catherine Foxworth: I think I know my son a bit better than someone like you would, Anna, and I'll thank you not to meddle. He is always like this when he is off his medication.
Anna Bianchi: 'someone like me'? what's that mean, u stuckup bitch?
Catherine Foxworth: Someone who is either so uneducated that she cannot think in complete, grammatical, properly-punctuated sentences or is too unintelligent to have learned that the chat system does not require typing. You may simply think into it and it will transcribe your words with accurate form.
Anna Bianchi: Fanculo tu e la tua puttana di madre, stronzo! Vieni al Club Vanquisher e ti taglio! Che ne dici di questa forma corretta?!
The conversation went downhill from there, so Taylor pushed it into a folder and ignored it.
"In the seven minutes we have before things get loud again," Taylor said, waving an exhausted hand towards the countdown timer to the next stop, "we should decide what we're doing next."
Calliope groaned loudly and let her head thump dramatically back against the window. She then picked it up again, said, "Ow," and rubbed the back of it grumpily.
"I'm easy," Drew said, tucking his wax container away with one hand as he licked the fingers of the other.
"We could ride to a safe room, get cleaned up and sleep," Taylor said, eyeing his friend. He extended an arm, looking down at it with a grimace. The entire group was still drenched in blood from their earlier ride up the Violet line.
"That sounds like the what," Calliope said. She raised an arm and sniffed her armpit, then gagged. "Yah, I reek."
"Alternatively," Taylor said, continuing as though uninterrupted, "we're six-ish minutes out from stop 161. The next safe room is at 163, but we could continue on to 167. It's another transit stop, so we'll have access to our personal space, but it's also one of those x7 stops that I've been wanting to check out."
"Huh?" Drew asked.
"The transit stops that end in 1 have a Desperado Club. The ones that end in 9 have a Vanquisher. What about the ones that end in 3 and 7? It feels like there should be something there. If there isn't, it was a missed opportunity for the showrunners."
"We can shower before we check around the station, right?" Calliope asked.
"Absolutely."
"Wouldn't mind a nap, either," Drew said, stretching and yawning fit to crack his jaw. Taylor had to resist a sympathetic yawn of his own.
"Ugh," Calliope said, rolling her eyes. "You oldies. Five minutes out of bed and you want a nap."
o-o-o-o
"God, I feel so much better after a shower and a nap," Calliope said, toweling her hair dry with a fluffy white towel as she came to join the others on the couch of their personal space.
Taylor raised an eyebrow at that. He forebore from commenting on the 'nap' part. Fish in a barrel should not be shot at; it was unsporting. Instead, he tossed a small handful of Skittles into his mouth. They were the good kind, the ones from the purple bag. Moose, currently the size of a Golden Retriever, was happily chomping a few of his own.
"Shower didn't dry your hair?" Drew wondered.
"Nah," she said, shaking her head widely so that her tousled mop of straw-blonde hair whipped around. It only reached the bottoms of her ears at the most, so there wasn't a lot of travel. "I let it dry the rest of me but made it leave the hair. Toweling it off feels nice, and it dries off pretty fast on its own." She draped the towel around the back of her head, then bent forward with head between her knees so she could twist the towel up into a self-supporting cone which flipped back over her shoulders when she straightened.
"Mm," Drew said. He was sprawled in the armchair to the side of the couch, a blunt dangling precariously from his fingers. At some point, his bones had completely left his body.
"The part I'm stuck on is that apparently you fell into bed filthy and took your shower after you woke up," Taylor said.
"What? The beds are self-cleaning. Heck, they'll even get a little bit of the dirt off you while you sleep. Not as good as a shower, but it's something."
"It disturbs me that you have done that experiment, but thank you for the knowledge."
She stuck her tongue out at him and dropped into an armchair with teenage drama and disregard for bodily impact. "So, we're going exploring, right?"
"Right," Taylor said, tucking the candy into inventory and heaving himself to his feet. "Drew, you mind staying here? Someone should keep an eye on the screens."
"Hm? Oh. Yeah, sure man." Drew took a drag on his blunt.
Calliope opened her mouth to say something, but Taylor gave her a sharp look and shook his head.
"Levi, we'll see you soon," Taylor said.
The manager had been sitting in his oversized chair, fingers laced together, watching the humans without speaking, for the last ten minutes. At Taylor's words he nodded.
"Sure. Also, I have these for you." He pulled two small leather pouches from his pocket and tossed one to Calliope and one to Taylor. "Runestones. I didn't have the materials to do much, but I made two for each of Taylor, Drew, and Calliope."
Moose: WHY DOES MOOSE NOT GET RUNESTONES?! MOOSE WANTS RUNESTONES!
"I didn't have the stuff to make ones that will work for people who don't have hands, sorry. I will as soon as we can hit up the right shops on the Silk Road. Anyway, the red one is a fire grenade, the blue one is acid resistance. Snap them in half to activate them. The acid resistance one will activate instantly and protect whoever activates it. The fire grenade has a three second timer, then fwoosh, fireball ten feet across. The timer is reliable, so it's safe to let it cook for a second or two before you throw it. Also, they respond to intent, so they won't break unless you want them to." He dipped his head in a sudden reversal of thought. "Well, that's not completely true. They won't handle overdamage, but you don't need to worry about breaking one if you're just using it as a fidget toy or if you drop one."
"What's overdamage?" Calliope asked.
"Pretty much what it sounds like. Damage over and above anything sane. For example, they aren't going to hold back a train. Still, point is that you don't need to worry about it."
"Could I make armor out of these?" Taylor asked, pulling one of the stones out. It was a piece of bone about the length and width of his thumb, but only a quarter inch thick. Honestly, it looked much like a domino except instead of spots it had sharp, angular letters cut into it.
Levi snorted. "No, but I like your thinking. Speaking of, how much money do you have left?"
"Between us?" Taylor asked. "Should be another four hundred thousand or so. We made 1.2 million in the card game and spent about eight-fifty on the personal spaces and upgrades."
"Cool. Calliope, stop off at the Bopca on your way out and buy me an upgrade for my enchanter's crafting table. Base price is 250,000 but you should be able to get it down to two twenty-five, maybe even two hundred."
"What about the other tables?" Taylor asked. "You have a weaponsmith and armorer's table, right?"
"Yes, but we can't afford it. The price goes up fifty percent for each table upgrade after the first, compounding, and the base price is based on the current level of the table. Buying a level one to a level two is expensive, buying a two to a three is very expensive, and anything past that isn't worth it. The showrunners really don't want people buying their way into a level ten table and making Celestial-grade gear on the fourth floor."
"You can make Celestial-grade equipment?" Taylor asked.
"With a level ten table and the right materials, yes. Those materials are all either crazy expensive, rare, or both. Still, I've done it. I got lucky and received a level three enchanter's crafting table as part of my racial package on the third floor, then on the ninth floor I spent an absolute fortune to raise it to level ten. The armor I made was the only thing that got me through Faction Wars alive."
"I've been meaning to ask you about Faction Wars," Taylor said. "And all the other stuff that happens on the later floors."
"Later. For now, go buy my upgrade, then explore the station. I think you're onto something about the x3 and x7 stops not being just transit hubs. It would make sense."
Taylor considered arguing that, then nodded and turned for the door. "Come on, kiddo," he said over his shoulder. "Let's go do the thing."
Calliope looked to Drew, then to Taylor, then followed silently after with Moose padding beside her.
Outside, the Bopca was just as surly as most of them were and his attitude turned around just as quickly when Calliope dropped 200,000 gold on him in exchange for the upgrade that Levi had requested. Moose watched the bargaining with much amusement, his tongue lolling happily as he leaned into Taylor's idle petting.
With that done, they set out to explore the station.
There wasn't much to see. It was a wide, circular area about fifty feet across. There were three sets of stairs leading down: the Violet line that they had arrived on, the Yellow line, and the Torquemada Express. The first two were the familiar subway lines, nothing unusual about the tracks or the platforms.
"What's up with Uncle Drew?" Calliope asked as they walked down the stairs to the Torquemada Express.
"Hm? How do you mean?" Taylor asked.
"He's way more blasted than I've ever seen him. Did he lick cannabis wax?"
Taylor considered that for several moments before finally say, "Yeah, I think so. I think the thing with Team Murder got to him a bit. Octavius looked a little like his dad."
Calliope winced. "Ouch. Yeah, it would be rough having your dad try to kill you." She went silent and Taylor started to relax, but then she continued. "I don't think I ever met his dad, and Uncle Drew doesn't talk about him much. What's he like?"
"Eh," Taylor said. "He's a guy. Worked at a hardware store, smoked like a chimney. Cigarettes, not weed."
Before the conversation could continue, the group reached the bottom of the steps.
The Torquemada Express tracks were of a wider gauge than the subway lines and there was no electrified third rail. The long platform was illuminated by fluorescent light panels that dangled from the ceiling, which was at least half again as high as the subway platforms. Two of the panels were flickering and all of them emitting a subtle hum that made Calliope flatten her ears to her head.
Moose: MOOSE CAN SEE A HATCH IN THE CEILING OVER THERE!
"Dayum," Calliope said, peering in the direction Moose was nosing. "Good eyes, Moose."
Moose: MOOSE'S SPOT SKILL LEVELED UP TO 7 WHEN HE SAW THE HATCH! MOOSE IS VERY CLEVER!
Moose: ALSO, MOOSE WOULD LIKE TO NOTE THAT CALLIOPE DID NOT SEE THE HATCH!
"Are you seriously feeling grumpy that I have enhanced senses too?" Calliope asked, putting her hands on her hips and staring at the giant dog. "Seriously? I thought you were just being a doofus before."
Moose: MOOSE SAID NOTHING ABOUT BEING GRUMPY! MOOSE SIMPLY POINTED OUT THAT MOOSE'S SPOT SKILL IS VERY USEFUL AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE IN THE PARTY THAT HAS IT! MOOSE BRINGS A GREAT DEAL OF VALUE TO THE TABLE, IS ALL MOOSE IS SAYING!
"I think Moose brings a whole lot more to the table than just a Spot skill," Taylor said, ruffling the dog's ears vigorously with Blue while Orange affectionately thumped the pony-sized dog on the flank.
Moose turned his head and slurped Taylor Blue's entire face before panting happily at him. For his part, Taylor Blue gacked and wiped his face off on his arm.
Moose: THANK YOU, TAYLOR! GIVEN HOW MUCH MOOSE BRINGS TO THE TABLE, MAYBE TAYLOR COULD BRING SOME BACON TO THE TABLE?
Taylor groaned. "Later. Come on, let's see what's up with this hatch."
The hatch was small, perhaps two feet on a side, and blended almost perfectly with the stone of the roof. It was placed exactly in the shadow of one of the light panels.
Taylor: Hi everyone. We're at station 167 on the Violet line, crossing with Yellow and Torquemada Express. We're on the TE's platform and there's a hatch in the ceiling. Very hard to see, about two thirds of the way down the platform in the shadow of a light panel. We're going to check it out. If anyone else is at an x7 transit station, could you check to see if you have an equivalent hatch? I'd like to know if every x7 station has them, if it's only the named-line stations, or if this is just an anomaly about this particular station.
Viktor Ale: We are at station 197 on the Black, Puce, and Green lines. We will check and get back to you in a few minutes.
Taylor: Great, thanks. You'll need a ladder or something.
"Boy, good thing you told him he would need a ladder to check the ceiling hatch," Calliope noted. "Not sure he would have thought of that on his own. Very thoughtful of you."
Moose: TAYLOR IS VERY THOUGHTFUL! TAYLOR IS THE BEST PERSON!
Moose: DON'T GET MOOSE WRONG—CALLIOPE IS ALSO A VERY GOOD PERSON AND MOOSE LOVES HER! TAYLOR IS SIMPLY MOOSE'S SPECIAL PERSON!
"Hey, I'm the one who gives you bacon," Calliope reminded him.
Moose: MOOSE TAKES IT BACK! CALLIOPE IS MOOSE'S SPECIAL PERSON NOW! MOOSE STILL LOVES YOU, TAYLOR, BUT THIS IS BACON WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
"Cupboard love," Taylor said, shaking his head sadly. "I knew it wasn't real. Keep this steady for me, Leo." He pulled an aluminum workman's ladder from his inventory and set it up under the hatch. Calliope braced it as he climbed up and inspected the hatch.
"Opens down towards us, but there's a recessed ring to open it from this side," he reported. "Hang on, I'm trying it now." He tugged on the ring and leaned back out of the way as the hatch swung down.
The top face of the hatch was painted bright yellow with red crosshatching around the perimeter. In the center of the hatch, in large bold letters, were the words 'CAUTION: EMERGENCY DRAINAGE HATCH. DO NOT OBSTRUCT'.
Taylor Orange climbed up through the hatch and Calliope scampered after him. Moose whined and whined until Taylor Blue whisked him into the pet carrier on the platform, then brought him out again in the room above.
The room was large and very alien. The walls were stone, as was everywhere else the team had seen, but it was rough-polished and vaguely scalloped in no particular pattern. It was easily a hundred feet long and averaged thirty feet wide with only minor variation, but the ceiling changed height at various points with no rhyme or reason. In some areas it was an airy thirty feet high, in others it was a claustrophic five feet. At the back of the room was a glowing portal, but some quick testing revealed that it would not pass anything from this side. Not people, not random objects chucked at it. Frustrated, they left it behind and explored elsewhere.
The room was filled with pipes and wiring. Most of the pipes were about the size of Taylor's arm and all of the wiring was safely ziptied together and hidden away behind transparent tubing.
Two of the pipes, however, were different. Eight feet in diameter, one on either side of the room. More importantly, one thing distinguished them from every other pipe.
A hatch.
"Hey, guys, check this out," Calliope called from the lefthand pipe.
Taylor Blue blinked into existence next to her while Orange continued exploring down the length of the room.
"What is that?" Taylor asked, staring at the thing in Calliope's hands. It was so bizarre that his brain couldn't recognize what he was seeing and tried several times to parse it. His first thought was 'enormous snake' as ancestral instincts pattern-matched to danger, but it was too thin and it wasn't moving. His next thought was 'a transparent horse got skinned.' It wasn't until Calliope held it up that he realized what he was looking at: a transparent sleeping bag with what looked like a ziploc seal on one end.
"It's an underwater operations bubble," Calliope said, pointing at an alcove to her right, in which hung another of the suits. Beyond the alcove were three more just like it. "I took this one off the hook at the end and these two bio-robot-thingy arms dropped down and started spinning a new one. It's got those picture-based instructions, like you see on the safety cards in airplane seat pockets? According to the pictures, you put it on, seal it, and it will form up around you. It shows a person wearing one underwater inside one of those big pipes."
"Inside the pipe."
She nodded. "Yup. They were holding a flashlight and looking at the walls. There were little bubbles coming off, so I think the bubble provides air. Probably intended as some kind of inspection thing." She looked at him expectantly.
Taylor looked at the hatch which led down to the train tracks below. He looked at the pipes and matched up the direction of the two.
"It can't be that simple."
She shrugged. "Let's find out."
Together, Calliope and Taylor Blue climbed atop the nearest of the two massive pipes and unscrewed the hatch. Lifting it aside showed a two-foot airspace above fast-rushing water. Steam rose from the surface of the water.
"Check this," Taylor Orange called from the other side of the room. He had teleported in to check the second pipe while Calliope and his other body were looking at the first.
"The water is cold," he said. "And based on that train platform we climbed up from, this pipe flows down the line."
Voting is open.
- [] I don't care what we do, let EJ decide
- [] write in
Old Achievement! Discordian Delight
You are invited to drop by the #dungeon-crawler-you channel in the Quests and Stuff Discord. (That second link is an invite to the server.)
Last edited:
Welcome back!
I don't know what the plan for these pipes will be but I know the name must be Loot 'n' Chute.
That said, we have to test these pipes before we try riding them. See if we can get someone back down the line at a *7 stop watching a pipe and send something floating on the current: does it arrive? intact? after how long? We'll need some way to stop in the pipe and a way to break out if a hatch isn't available. Can the hatches be opened from the inside?
I don't know what the plan for these pipes will be but I know the name must be Loot 'n' Chute.
That said, we have to test these pipes before we try riding them. See if we can get someone back down the line at a *7 stop watching a pipe and send something floating on the current: does it arrive? intact? after how long? We'll need some way to stop in the pipe and a way to break out if a hatch isn't available. Can the hatches be opened from the inside?