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Dungeon Crawler You!

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  • Voting
    • Scheduled vote count started by eaglejarl on May 29, 2024 at 11:30 AM, finished with 8 posts and 4 votes.
    • [x] Plan So I started blasting...
      -[x] Moose tries to stealth out of view for an ambush
      -[x] Drew smokes up a storm and makes it look like a natural breeze from the tracks is pushing smoke towards the baddies. If there is a pipe that smokes or looks volatile, put some there too to see if we can proc a lucky explosion etc
      -[x] Taylor engages in conversation, trying to buy time for the above and make it clear to viewers it'll be self defense. Play up hero stereotypes, "You don't have to do this. You can be better!" and the like
      -[x] Calliope uses her ability to lie to help Taylor as necessary
      [X] Teddy Roosevelt
    Click to expand...
     
  • Voting
    • Ohhhhh shit🗿

    I hope we get to do some moral grandstanding before we paste them (and perhaps after)

    "Don't worry, Eugene'll be meeting you in hell a little later" type beat
     
    Good news, folks! I have posted chapter 53 to my earlybird Patreon. It will go to the rest of my patrons in 24 hours and afterwards it will be posted here.
     
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    Chapter 53: Bad Jobs
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    • Chapter 53: Bad Jobs​

    Taylor: I'm going to talk to them. Moose, fade back with stealth, get an ambush ready. Drew, smoke it up. Make it look like it's drifting towards them naturally. Leo, my dear little liar, back me up if I need it.

    Calliope: Yah, because you totally should be the one doing the talking instead of me, the one with all the Charisma and lying skills.

    Drew: Not now.

    Moose: MOOSE DOES NOT LIKE LEAVING YOU GUYS ALONE, BUT OKAY! HE DOES NOT THINK HE'S GOING TO BE VERY STEALTHY, THOUGH. NO WORRIES, MOOSE HAS GOT THIS.

    Moose, who was currently about the size of an elephant, looked at the approaching crawlers and cringed. He hunched down on his back legs with his head low, whimpered and backed away, accelerating as he went. Once he was far enough he whirled and raced away, tail between his legs, to hide behind the nearest of the massive pillars.

    Moose: OOH, MOOSE IS SUCH A SCAREDY-PUP! WOE IS MOOSE, HE IS SO SCARED! TERRIBLY, TERRIBLY SCARED OF THESE BIG BAD PLAYER-MURDERING LITTLE MEATBALLS!

    Taylor: Methinks the dog doth protest too much.

    That was all he had time for before the other crawlers were close enough to hail.

    "Hey there!" he called out, offering his best 'welcome to the channel' smile and wave. "Nice to meet some fellow humans."

    "Hi yourself," Naaji called, smiling. Her teeth were very white; she was beautiful already and the smile made her stunning. She pressed her hands together in a mudrā, palms together and pointed up in front of her chest. Taylor couldn't help but notice how the action pulled her scarves/robe tight across generous breasts; he made a distinct effort to keep his eyes on hers instead of letting them drift downwards. She kept her large, dark eyes on his as she bowed slightly, the gesture making her long hair sway. It tumbled down to the small of her back, silky and thick and black as night.

    "First off, please don't worry about the bad look," she said, stopping about ten feet away and gesturing to the skulls floating above herself and her friends. Said friends also stopped, flanking her and slightly spread out. "I know it's not great, but I promise it's not what it looks like. It makes it really hard to make friends."

    Her voice was soft velvet, the tones of exotic lands rounding her vowels. Taylor felt a shiver run down his back.

    "What is it?" Callipe asked after a moment of Taylor not speaking. "If it's not what it looks like."

    "Hm?" Naaji asked, breaking eye contact with Taylor. "What? Oh. We were attacked by a group of player killers on the last floor. They were ambushing everyone who came to the stairs. We had to fight our way past them and, well..." She waved to the skulls and shrugged, the gesture embarrassed.

    "Four of you, each with eight or more skulls," Drew noticed. "Pretty big ambush." He drew hard on his joint and blew out a long puff, aiming it generally towards the other team but up instead of straight at them.

    "It was a large group," she said. "As was ours. We were a combination of several parties. The ambushers had a mass mind-control spell that caught a number of our companions and made them switch sides. The four of us and three others were the only ones who made it down the stairs."

    "You are so full of—"

    Taylor raised a hand. "Be nice, Leo. Remember what Charlie said? Eugene had a party of fifty people and was actively hunting other players. As to the numbers, Astronomy Army is two hundred people last we heard."

    "Unc, are you thinking with your dick or are you just stupid? Heck, that guy is literally painted in blood!"

    "Take a breath, kid," said Santana, the man with the cross painted on his robe in blood. "We don't get to choose what comes out of the loot boxes. It's good gear."

    "And what about those classes, huh? 'Priest of Desecration'? 'Gang Lord'? 'Inquisitional Presbyter', whatever the fuck that is. I don't know who the hell Nirriti is but I'm sure he's a god of murder and deathy deathness."

    "Nirriti is a woman," Naaji said, her voice gently scolding. "She is a Hindu deity, goddess of the southwest. People invoke her name when they set off on a journey."

    "And the rest of you?"

    "A presbyter is simply a specific type of priest," Santana explained. "One step down from a bishop. When I entered the dungeon, my first words were a prayer for the protection of Holy Jesus. I got an achievement for it, a mocking one with no reward. When we reached the third floor I was offered a wide array of priest classes and not much else that was any good."

    "An Inquisitional priest?" Callipe demaned. "Not cool."

    He smiled slightly and sketched a cross towards her. "May the Holy Lord Jesus forgive your doubts and hold his hand over you in protection."

    An arc of golden energy leaped from his fingers to Calliope's chest and wrapped her in a glowing aura.

    Drew's bident came up, lengthening from 'javelin' to 'spear' in a blink and pointed straight at Santana's face.

    Calliope raised a hand to stop him. "Be cool, Uncle Drew," she said. "It's a buff. 'Holy Aura'. Grants emotional stability, protection from emotion-based attacks, a mild healing effect, and a physical shield against undead- and Unholy-type monsters."

    "Take it off of her or I'll fucking murder you," Drew said, his voice calm.

    "Whoa, man! Take it easy," Santana said. "It's a buff. It won't hurt her."

    "You altered her emotions without asking, Taylor is getting hard at the girl, your chameleon friend has his daggers out, and your buddies haven't said a word yet. The only reason I'm not killing you right now is because I don't want the skulls. Take it off of her or you're paste."

    "Easy, Drew," Taylor said, placing a hand on his friend's arm. He shifted slightly, trying his best to discreetly hide the tent in his pants and blushing when he couldn't.

    Naaji's eyes, which had once more drifted back to Taylor's in fascination, jolted off of him and onto Drew. She smiled, the expression a little embarrassed. "Drew, really, everything is fine. We are no threat to you."

    She seemed stressed, Taylor thought sadly. Her delightful accent was thicker.

    "Taylor, snap out of it."

    "Maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea for you to put those daggers away, Kuro," Calliope said. "Ease the tension a little."

    The Japanese man in the chamelon armor looked to Octavius. The Gang Lord, who had stood silent until now, nodded once. Kuro's daggers disappeared into unseen sheaths where his hips presumably were.

    Drew: Levi, we're talking with four player killers. Leo was suspicious until one of them hit her with a buff called 'Holy Aura'. Taylor keeps looking at the woman and he's visibly hard. He's usually got better control.

    Levi: Holy Aura is a good spell. It removes negative emotions, keeps the recipient calm and controlled even if they get whammied with a Fear or Taunt effect. Also gives a variety of protections. As to Taylor, he's got the lowest Charisma in the party by a mile. He'd be most vulnerable to any sex- or lust-based effects. What are their classes?

    "Everyone take a breath," Taylor said. "Drew, it's okay. We're just talking. Kuro was being helpful."

    "Shouldn't have done it without asking," Calliope said, "but it doesn't seem harmful."

    Drew: Priest of Desecration, Ritualist of Nirriti, Gang Lord, Inquisitional Presbyter. Who the fuck is Nirriti?

    "I'm sorry," Santana said. "Look, it wasn't meant to be a problem. It was funny, yeah? Pray for your doubts to be lifted, give you a buff that makes you immune to emotional control."

    "Suspicious bunch," Octavius said, speaking for the first time. "We just wanted to exchange information, get in each other's chats."

    Levi: Nirriti is the Hindu goddess of death. Also sorrow and decay, if I remember right. Not a good set of jobs.

    "We don't need to be in each other's chats," Drew said. "Taylor made that network."

    Drew: Taylor is thinking with his dick. How do I get him to shake it off?

    "Oh, that was you?" Naaji asked, eyes rising in surprise. "Wow. Taylor, you're amazing."

    Taylor felt a swell of embarrassed pleasure in his chest at the beautiful woman's words. He opened his mouth to thank her—

    —and jolted in shock as water soaked his shoulder and the side of his head. He looked over to see Drew holding a Super Soaker out with one hand, his other hand still on the bident and his eyes on the other party.

    "Back the fuck up," Drew said to the other crawlers. "Last warning and then I deal with the skulls."

    "Fuck you, you little shit," Kuro said. "Four on three, you think you can—" He cut off as Naaji placed a hand on his arm. The woman took a small step back, tugging Kuro along with her.

    Moose: THE WOMAN SMELLS WEIRD. SPICY AND SWEET. THE MEN SMELL ANGRY.

    You have been Packed!

    Taylor: Easy, buddy.

    "Naaji, what are you doing?" Kuro demanded.

    "Easy, Kuro. It's not four on three. That dog of theirs is right over there."

    Four lidless plastic tubs dropped out of Drew's inventory, a cloud of smoke billowing forth from each and forming a dark thunderhead above the team. It started rolling towards the other crawlers.

    "Walk the fuck away," Drew said. "Right now."

    "Easy, Uncle Drew. Take it easy. They aren't doing anything."

    "The fuck they aren't."

    Moose: MOOSE'S DANGER SENSE IS GOING CRAZY! MOOSE THINKS THEY ARE ABOUT TO ATTACK!






    Voting is open.

    • [] Attack first!
    • [] Run away!
    • [] I don't care what we do, let EJ decide
    • [] write in
    Here's the problem: if you kill these guys then you'll get skulls. If you get skulls then you can't go back on Omusa's show. Their show greatly increases your visibility and is likely going to be a big factor in you getting fans and benefactors. Plus, killing other humans is bad.

    You're in a repair bay that's large enough to lose Yankee Stadium in. There are multiple hourglass-shaped stone pillars around, each one ten or twenty meters wide at the base, with ladders attached to them. They are placed randomly but usually 30-60 meters apart. There are workspaces and machines scattered around on the floor and at various heights on the pillars. There are large amounts of open space between the workspaces; the nearest is about 20 meters away and consists of a half-disassembled humanoid mecha ten feet tall plus a large array of tools and machines around it. Immediately behind you is a 'puddle' of black slime the size of a small pond, with bubbles filled with monsters.

    Moose is behind a pillar ~10m away. The other crawlers are between you and the exit that leads back to the railway.

    You can try to run deeper into the bay, you can attack, you can keep trying to talk everyone down, or whatever else you like.

    Voting ends when discussion has run its course, but no earlier than .

    Old Achievement! Discordian Delight
    You are invited to drop by the #dungeon-crawler-you channel in the Quests and Stuff Discord. (That second link is an invite to the server.)
     
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    • "We have a large networked group chat and are not afraid to use it. Back up and stop seducing me and we don't have to black ball you to every human group that might ever keep deals again."
     
    Running seems like the winning move. They have a buffer (and probably healer), a source of mind control which might get more powerful if she gives up being subtle, and if "Priest of Desecration" doesn't have strong debuffs, there's something wrong with the world (apart from the televised apocalypse, that is). Also, their priest apparently has better reflexes than the resident catgirl.

    The puddle of black slime seems like the best fleeing option. Monsters make life complicated for everyone in unpredictable ways, and more chaos is what you want if you're trying to get away.

    [x] Run Away
     
    Well, can we make sure the skulls are only on Drew, maybe? Taylor is the face and Leo is charismatic plus Moose is the mascot. We don't really want to get them banned from the show, but Drew being kicked off in self defense wouldn't hurt too bad
     
    Could we beat these guys up but not kill them? I don't know how feasible knocking people unconscious is in this setting when they can instantly heal with potions and magic.

    But I feel like it would be really good optics to dunk on them, teabag them a bit, then leave. Otherwise running is probably the best bet here
     
    Shrooms said:
    Could we beat these guys up but not kill them? I don't know how feasible knocking people unconscious is in this setting when they can instantly heal with potions and magic.

    But I feel like it would be really good optics to dunk on them, teabag them a bit, then leave. Otherwise running is probably the best bet here
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    They wouldn't be going for a harmless dunk back - it's taking on all the risks of a lethal fight but made more difficult (and so more dangerous) and with no xp or loot at the end. Afterwards, they'll still be social engineering their way closer to other crawlers and murdering them. And they'll be out for revenge on Team Trickshot.

    I'm sure enough that they're hostile that I think we should attack first. We need the tech in this chamber, turning our backs to flee is potentially giving them a free shot and keeping the conversation going until they make a move hands them the initiative but we'll still have skulls so I don't think it will save our show appearances.

    [x] kill 'em with fire
    - Moose ploughing though one or more of them with Legion's Rush is a good shock opener. In a space this large the should be a line with a safe runout.
    - Drew is ready to go with the smoke.
     
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    [X] Smoke Wall, Run Away, Blow their secrets in the chat (Leo speaks, leveraging charisma stat to spin things in our favor).
     
    I would like to avoid combat, if possible, to avoid the skulls but I'm not sure that's practical. Note that we took into account varoius things in approaching this party, in particular, their classes. We do not have such ominous sounding classes. Other players will probably do that for us. They know that there are circumstances where a player kill could not be helped or was justified. There was a scene I vaguely remember, I think it may have been in Dungeon Crawler Deryl (not canon) where a player got a golden skull for killing a particularly evil player killer. I wonder if something like that may happen here.

    Let's think of any specific tactics or weapons to use. I can't think of anyhing specific at the moment. You use frost against fire and fire against frost. You use holiness agains undead but not vice versa. What is the anthesis of such characters?

    RandomOTP said:
    [X] Smoke Wall, Run Away, Blow their secrets in the chat (Leo speaks, leveraging charisma stat to spin things in our favor).
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    I like this idea best so far but what we have are strong suspicions, not proof, that they are player killers. We would have to pass on the info as suspicion rather than fact.

    CrabTravelLLC said:
    Well, can we make sure the skulls are only on Drew, maybe? Taylor is the face and Leo is charismatic plus Moose is the mascot. We don't really want to get them banned from the show, but Drew being kicked off in self defense wouldn't hurt too bad
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    Moose doesn't participate much in shows. He can be in a pet carrer when we go on a show.
     
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    Retalnus said:
    On the other hand, Moose dosen't participate much in the shows. He can be in a pet carier when we go on a show.
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    Isn't Moose among the most popular party members? Seems like losing his presence could hurt socials even if he's only there as a mascot

    [X] Smoke Wall, Run Away, Blow their secrets in the chat (Leo speaks, leveraging charisma stat to spin things in our favor).
     
    It think we have to have Drew halt the smoke and retract it. He escalated things by putting the male team members on edge and that led to Moose informing us that his danger sense was pinged. We saw that Kuro put away his and Naaji seems to be trying to restrain her guys.

    I think if we have Caliope take point while having our team pull out their respirators, we can get Taylor away from being charmed. The gang member seems to lead here, so it might do some good to address him directly and warn him of our ability to blackball them if Naaji doesn't layoff asap.

    Oh, and Taylor needs to break eye contact immediately.
     
    [X] Smoke Wall, Run Away, Blow their secrets in the chat (Leo speaks, leveraging charisma stat to spin things in our favor).
     
    Wow, don't know how missed the update but the in laws are in town and we've been busy.

    Ugh Leo...
    Gee Uncle Taylor why don't you let me talk and take lead since I have all the Charisma and conversational skills.
    *powers up angsty, angry teen mode and starts swearing at and insulting others immediately*

    @eaglejarl we definitely won't be able to go on the show if we get skulls? Even in self defense?

    I don't want to attack first. I don't think we're those people and we haven't been playing that way. We try to help others and give people the benefit of the doubt.

    Yes, I agree this group is super fishy. Their story sounds bogus. They've lied to us (or mislead by giving only partial information on the goddess.) They have used skills on us without asking that seem to be getting ready to take advantage of us. Although it's tempting to keep Leo on that spell all the time of it makes her chill the fuck out some.
    They haven't actually attacked us though. Striking first is a huge departure from who we've been up until this point and I don't want to be that team. It doesn't make sense strategically I know but if we were playing just for power/ strategy with no regards for humanity we would be doing something like Eugene and killing everyone lower than us.

    Does Levi know the finger breaking trick for Taylor?
     
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