So....
From the descriptions in this chapter I have to ask, have you also never drunk, or possibly even been around, any alcohol? Because the way you're describing people's drinks sounds like how an edgy 14 year-old that's never stepped foot in a bar, or been in the presence of an open container of alcohol, would try to make them sound impressive. I just wanted to see of that's intentional or not, because if so it totally fits the tone of the early DmC games, but if not it might be something you want to work on as it otherwise detracts from the storytelling.
Addressing the particulars in this chapter for instance, no bartender after being asked for something "light" is going to respond with anything in a shot-glass. The most likely response would have been a light beer. Secondly, I'm not sure what you think of in response to "acrid" but as someone that's been a casual drinker for going on two decades, liquor or beer isn't what springs to mind when I hear that, maybe some variety of things wine but that doesn't seem like what you were gonna ng for in this scene. Maybe it's just me, but it makes me think of dryness or at best ozone, not really something I'd associate with any drink, so a different descriptor would probably be a better fit here depending on what sort of impression you were hoping for the reader to take away. Additionally, contrary to what TV and Movies tell you, you almost never are just given a shot glass and bottle of your own. It can happen, but it's not normal and it is crazy expensive and it makes no sense for both Danny and Alan here to have ordered a drink and each be given their own individual bottles of liquor.
Anyway, you've got an interesting if very AU story here and I just wanted to give some helpful advice towards verisimilitude in case you ever do any future scenes set in a bar.
