- Location
- US
Probably going to be a big surprise for both parties.
You were rooting for characters before? That's kind of weird.
Dance Puppet Dance! (Transhumanist Naruto OC)
- Thread starter yinko
- Start date
Baughn
Healing-type writer
- Location
- Dublin
In this story? No.
But it's sort of the point of most writing. You want your readers to care about the characters. Bad guys should be evil enough to be hated, or at least interestingly ambiguous. The hero should be a hero, someone strong enough that they subconsciously seem like a decent ally, and decent enough that they wouldn't scare you off. You can trade these off against each other, to a degree, but a pathetic protagonist is as bad as an evil one.
(Why, yes, I'm explicitly arguing that people can't tell the difference between reality and fiction, there. At this level that's true; the ally-recognising parts of us don't care, but higher-order components do.)
Or you can write a story like this, which is interesting in much the same sense as reading about the Black Death is interesting. It works; it doesn't make the story pointless. Neither, however, does it inspire the same depth of emotion.
This is why villain protagonists tend to have a strong code of honor, by the way. At some level, they have to be seen as someone you can deal with. We automatically attach to the most powerful leaders around, but only if that doesn't seem suicidal.
It's also why, despite my own characters generally tending towards cute, they also tend to be potential personified. "Potential ally" doesn't need to mean "right now", and what you're reallly going for here is emotion, of any kind. Children work well enough... but pathetic children don't, I'm afraid. Sorry, Shinji. Not sure what he was thinking.
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Jackercracks
In a British accent
- Location
- England
Exactly.What real body?
- Location
- PR
How did they know the Soul got sucked?
IS the Soul Destroying-Sucking jutsu leaving an identifying mark on the victims body?
Does Kato Dan have the ability to somehow KNOW when a person was killed by the Avada Kedabra of Jutsus?
Serious questions that need to asked.
When you use the jutsu, do the victims simply drop dead or is there a dramatic animation like a HP-Dementor with sucking the soul?
Or is it more like some ghostly thing leaving the victims body?
IS the Soul Destroying-Sucking jutsu leaving an identifying mark on the victims body?
Does Kato Dan have the ability to somehow KNOW when a person was killed by the Avada Kedabra of Jutsus?
Serious questions that need to asked.
When you use the jutsu, do the victims simply drop dead or is there a dramatic animation like a HP-Dementor with sucking the soul?
Or is it more like some ghostly thing leaving the victims body?
- Location
- US
They're bodies are still alive, but without souls to give them agency.
Hence how he got around the Kaguya bone production issue he was having.
- Location
- PR
Thanks, I must have missed this part.
That's what happens
- Location
- US
Date: Nine months twenty five days after awakening
Subject: Soul off… face off of the souls… I can't think of anything witty
Everything hurts.
I can feel my imagination, and it's in excruciating pain.
Dan basically just stood in a field and called me out. I should have known better, but I was actually kind of curious about how his jutsu would react to mine.
Turns out, a bit like oil and water.
He turned into his patented 'living ghost' form and hunted for me. He probably thought that I was just a puppeteer that could control a lot of different puppet at once. I think he can see souls when in his transformed state, because he seemed really surprised to notice all the puppets had souls of their own.
That's right around when everything turned to white hot flames of hellish freezing fuck.
His jutsu lets him possess bodies, which then rapidly break down like a hyper speed version of Orochimaru's possession. My seals trap bits of soul inside and then force the puppet to be considered as a functional body to pair with that portion of the soul.
When Dan entered one of the puppets, the piece of soul got overlaid with his entire spirit, the two got smooshed together by the tiny seal cage and then tried to force both of us to adapt to one another and to the puppet at once.
The puppet disintegrated. Like, it literally turned to unidentifiable dust as the chakra structure that made it up was broken down till it practically ceased to exist.
Fuck! That hurt.
He got forced back into material form. Though I think he might have gotten the worse end of it all. For all that I have my soul damaged, he seems to have suffered a form of partial transformation damage to his internal organs. Came back still thinking some of the puppet was actually him.
Eh, Tsunade can probably fix that up in two shakes of her twin-tails.
Then he was all like "What are you" and I couldn't come up with anything cool to say. So I just walked away and set off an explosion in the backdrop to set the stage.
I'm never going to get over that. He gave me the perfect setup line and I didn't have a decent comeback. Talk about haunting.
At least I didn't say something lame like "I'm batman", I'd never live that kind of shit down.
Date: Nine months twenty eight days after awakening
Subject: Kato's recovery
Got notice that Tsunade rushed over to help out her main squeeze. As predicted she's pretty predictable.
Kazekage was kind of pissed that I couldn't take on Dan as is. Chiyo was disappointed. Sasori was smug… I think that's just his face actually.
I might, might, be able to figure out a way around his jutsu, maybe trap him. But the odds are pretty low. The easiest way would be probably just a barrier.
Although… What's that line from the show? Paraphrased. "How would you even fight a ghost? Ninjutsu just goes right through them" Yet more proof that Naruto has cognitive development issues. Because you fight ghosts with genjutsu, like a boss.
So, just need to get him to expend just chakra while under the effects of a genjutsu, and then beat the shit out of him. Would figuring out his signature jutsu be important for me? Maaaybe. Not sure yet.
Date: Ten months five days after awakening
Subject: Hanzo… Hatori Hanzo
Wouldn't that be cool though? I think the swordsmith from Kill Bill used that name too.
Yeah, Hanzo the Salamander swept through and basically destroyed around a dozen of my puppets. The guy's poetry in motion. The sheer mastery of the fundamentals is inspiring. Like watching a geriatric martial arts master kicking the ass of some young punk that thinks he's hot shit.
Sure he's super fast, but so is everyone else, he just happens to never quite be where the attacks end up. Like Cohen the Barbarian. He swept through an entire battlefield like a thresher.
I-I can't even be mad at him. I think he's actually kind of cool. That's how much of a badass he was.
No wonder it took a Rinnegan to take him down.
I'm not fanboying off or anything, just I really want to be that awesome.
…I actually wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if he was the Salamander Sage. He doesn't use a lot of jutsu, the mask probably hides a lot of the markings. It's certainly possible.
Would explain part of his long running winning streak, though a lot of that's just skill.
People here really love the guy too, how else does one explain how he popularized the onesie? Or, at least, I think that's what that is.
Chiyo ended up engaging him with her puppets, sending most of the others from Suna back. She's pretty damn good. The agility she moves them with is cool, but the main thing is that she intimately knows the location of each puppet relative to each other and can get them to work together flawlessly. My own puppets can communicate, but don't know their objective or relative positions without a bird's eye view to coordinate them.
I might need to find a fix for that. Seems to make a major difference.
Date: Ten months fifteen days after awakening
Subject: Spatial reference
Figuring out how to create a jutsu designed for the explicit purpose of giving data in three dimensions, using the puppets as reference points, was… not easy.
Kawarimi sort of requires that basic information, which theoretically makes me a whole lot more dangerous just from that right there. But the main thing was always about mimicking the coordination between the puppets. Making them more a well-oiled machine and less a team of individuals that just happen to all have the same idea about what they're doing.
The fundamental basis of the jutsu was something I recalled from the Orc that worked in the basement of Unseen University, how he said that gaining an instinctive understanding of measurement was something that could be learned. Except that seems like it would take a lot of time.
I started with a genjutsu of a three dimensional grid, applied onto myself externally. Tied to chakra pulses this allowed me to detect the location of my puppets in real time and then associate them with the relevant special coordinates.
Keeping the grid up all the time was tried, but Uncertainty starts becoming a serious problem at ninja speeds. What range do you give when the distance has expanded in the time it takes to determine that range?
Taking the grid away and doing it all by 'eye' was actually a lot more accurate, or well, not more accurate but I made fewer mistakes. I just have almost no idea what the actual distances involved are any more. I can just know in the back of my mind the exact locations of all of my puppets at any given time.
Not sure what kind of team tactics to use now. Most of puppets aren't really optimized in any specific way, so they don't do one type of attack better than any other puppet. And they all know the same jutsu, because they're all me. So maybe more coordination jutsu would be good. Hmm.
Subject: Soul off… face off of the souls… I can't think of anything witty
Everything hurts.
I can feel my imagination, and it's in excruciating pain.
Dan basically just stood in a field and called me out. I should have known better, but I was actually kind of curious about how his jutsu would react to mine.
Turns out, a bit like oil and water.
He turned into his patented 'living ghost' form and hunted for me. He probably thought that I was just a puppeteer that could control a lot of different puppet at once. I think he can see souls when in his transformed state, because he seemed really surprised to notice all the puppets had souls of their own.
That's right around when everything turned to white hot flames of hellish freezing fuck.
His jutsu lets him possess bodies, which then rapidly break down like a hyper speed version of Orochimaru's possession. My seals trap bits of soul inside and then force the puppet to be considered as a functional body to pair with that portion of the soul.
When Dan entered one of the puppets, the piece of soul got overlaid with his entire spirit, the two got smooshed together by the tiny seal cage and then tried to force both of us to adapt to one another and to the puppet at once.
The puppet disintegrated. Like, it literally turned to unidentifiable dust as the chakra structure that made it up was broken down till it practically ceased to exist.
Fuck! That hurt.
He got forced back into material form. Though I think he might have gotten the worse end of it all. For all that I have my soul damaged, he seems to have suffered a form of partial transformation damage to his internal organs. Came back still thinking some of the puppet was actually him.
Eh, Tsunade can probably fix that up in two shakes of her twin-tails.
Then he was all like "What are you" and I couldn't come up with anything cool to say. So I just walked away and set off an explosion in the backdrop to set the stage.
I'm never going to get over that. He gave me the perfect setup line and I didn't have a decent comeback. Talk about haunting.
At least I didn't say something lame like "I'm batman", I'd never live that kind of shit down.
Date: Nine months twenty eight days after awakening
Subject: Kato's recovery
Got notice that Tsunade rushed over to help out her main squeeze. As predicted she's pretty predictable.
Kazekage was kind of pissed that I couldn't take on Dan as is. Chiyo was disappointed. Sasori was smug… I think that's just his face actually.
I might, might, be able to figure out a way around his jutsu, maybe trap him. But the odds are pretty low. The easiest way would be probably just a barrier.
Although… What's that line from the show? Paraphrased. "How would you even fight a ghost? Ninjutsu just goes right through them" Yet more proof that Naruto has cognitive development issues. Because you fight ghosts with genjutsu, like a boss.
So, just need to get him to expend just chakra while under the effects of a genjutsu, and then beat the shit out of him. Would figuring out his signature jutsu be important for me? Maaaybe. Not sure yet.
Date: Ten months five days after awakening
Subject: Hanzo… Hatori Hanzo
Wouldn't that be cool though? I think the swordsmith from Kill Bill used that name too.
Yeah, Hanzo the Salamander swept through and basically destroyed around a dozen of my puppets. The guy's poetry in motion. The sheer mastery of the fundamentals is inspiring. Like watching a geriatric martial arts master kicking the ass of some young punk that thinks he's hot shit.
Sure he's super fast, but so is everyone else, he just happens to never quite be where the attacks end up. Like Cohen the Barbarian. He swept through an entire battlefield like a thresher.
I-I can't even be mad at him. I think he's actually kind of cool. That's how much of a badass he was.
No wonder it took a Rinnegan to take him down.
I'm not fanboying off or anything, just I really want to be that awesome.
…I actually wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if he was the Salamander Sage. He doesn't use a lot of jutsu, the mask probably hides a lot of the markings. It's certainly possible.
Would explain part of his long running winning streak, though a lot of that's just skill.
People here really love the guy too, how else does one explain how he popularized the onesie? Or, at least, I think that's what that is.
Chiyo ended up engaging him with her puppets, sending most of the others from Suna back. She's pretty damn good. The agility she moves them with is cool, but the main thing is that she intimately knows the location of each puppet relative to each other and can get them to work together flawlessly. My own puppets can communicate, but don't know their objective or relative positions without a bird's eye view to coordinate them.
I might need to find a fix for that. Seems to make a major difference.
Date: Ten months fifteen days after awakening
Subject: Spatial reference
Figuring out how to create a jutsu designed for the explicit purpose of giving data in three dimensions, using the puppets as reference points, was… not easy.
Kawarimi sort of requires that basic information, which theoretically makes me a whole lot more dangerous just from that right there. But the main thing was always about mimicking the coordination between the puppets. Making them more a well-oiled machine and less a team of individuals that just happen to all have the same idea about what they're doing.
The fundamental basis of the jutsu was something I recalled from the Orc that worked in the basement of Unseen University, how he said that gaining an instinctive understanding of measurement was something that could be learned. Except that seems like it would take a lot of time.
I started with a genjutsu of a three dimensional grid, applied onto myself externally. Tied to chakra pulses this allowed me to detect the location of my puppets in real time and then associate them with the relevant special coordinates.
Keeping the grid up all the time was tried, but Uncertainty starts becoming a serious problem at ninja speeds. What range do you give when the distance has expanded in the time it takes to determine that range?
Taking the grid away and doing it all by 'eye' was actually a lot more accurate, or well, not more accurate but I made fewer mistakes. I just have almost no idea what the actual distances involved are any more. I can just know in the back of my mind the exact locations of all of my puppets at any given time.
Not sure what kind of team tactics to use now. Most of puppets aren't really optimized in any specific way, so they don't do one type of attack better than any other puppet. And they all know the same jutsu, because they're all me. So maybe more coordination jutsu would be good. Hmm.
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Rinn
Coffee Addict
- Location
- Cornfield County, Ohio
I have this mental image, now:
Chiyo and Hanzo fighting, with Shuzaku hiding one of his puppets off to the side. Chiyo is retreating, buying time for the others, before fleeing herself. Hanzo sighs, then turns to look at Shuzaku-XX1349.
Hanzo: "Well? Are you going to try your luck, Soul Puppeteer? BLAH BLAH (INSERT DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE HERE)"
Shuzaku: "I... Can I... Have your autograph?!"
Hanzo: 0.o "Whut"
- Location
- Wall Gazing
Dan: "What are you?"
Shuzaku: "Transcendent."
Dan: "What?"
Shuzaku: "I have shed the shackles of mortality, and now walk the Path of the Singularity."
- Location
- a nice place
soul damaged?!!! can u even heal the damage? what about personality shifts or worse? isn't having a soul damaged a serious problem?
- Location
- US
Even knowing about transhumanism that sounds incredibly conceited, imagine how it must sound without that context.
"Me? I'm just a passing god, a burgeoning immortal on his way to omnipotence. Don't mind me." :lol
- Location
- Wall Gazing
That was the point, whenever there's a new monologuing villain in Naruto, they sound so fracking full of themselves.
They just go on and on and on about how they are perfection given form. Especially if they have some sort of immortality/invincibility shtick going on.
I based that line on how the OC would respond if the OC was an actual invincible/immortal antagonist in Naruto.
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- Location
- US
Eh, walk it off. Considering the genjutsu and stuff that pretty much directly affects the soul, plus the way all the ninjas inadvertently manipulate their own souls via simply drawing on chakra. It not that severe a problem, more similar to how it is in Dresden files.
In that case, well done.
- Location
- a nice place
I don't know how it is In the Dresden files...
explicit
Also wouldn't it have made more sense to develop sensing instead of going this route? Having experienced the Byakugan, and the whole... 'interpreting natural energy via the eye' it seems like using each puppet as a radar buoy for natural energy would be the logical step.
Basically: So long as you don't use up all your soul in one go, you can grow more soul.
- Location
- NYC
"I am the harbinger of your ascension."
Obviously. Geeze man. Honestly.
Kaesar
The Son of Mars
- Location
- USA
I almost died thanks to you. I was eating while I read this and I start choking and not in the good way. I know people say that they die laughing, but I don't think they meant literally.
Note to self, don't eat while I read your chapters.
- Location
- US
I'm not going to have him start dealing with natural energy till he gets his paws on some summon animals. He kind of knows how one bloodline interacts with it, but it's also about as dangerous to play with as radioactive waste, so he wants to raid some experienced people for the know-how first.
Flawless Victory. I didn't even have to enter the same room to defeat you.
Eh. It's only dangerous if you try and make senjutsu chakra with it. Literally everyone in all of the Naruto world is marinating in it at all times. The danger comes from drawing it and failing to balance it against your own spiritual and physical energies.
Not messing about with sage mode makes sense, especially in light of the whole...not having any yang chakra. But not pinging the field that permeates everything, as the Byakugan seems to do, seems strange.
- Location
- US
He actually specifically says that the Byakugan doesn't ping, and that he doesn't really understand the precise mechanism by which it detects normal chakra in the midst of the nature chakra without directly interacting with it. I went back and checked. Pinging would probably be the way Sages sense things, which would mean they'd need to send out senjutsu chakra to pull it off.
- Location
- The Outer Plane Of Munchkinry.
i wonder if you can give someone soul cancer.
BobtjeNORMALguy
Color From Beyond
- Location
- Lost in time and space
Have you thought about making a gestalt puppet? Each individual puppet acts as a kind specialized unit that can combine with others.
- Location
- The Outer Plane Of Munchkinry.
thinking about it i wonder what kind of puppet he can make with sage-chakra stone.
- Location
- a nice place
so its basically like a regenerating mana meter