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Belated Battleships (KanColle) [REHOST]

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theJMPer said:
"Holy fuck, Gale!" Jersey squinted into the tiny webcam, ignoring the stares that everyone else in the room was trying not to direct towards her still-wet swimsuit clad ass. "Are those your tits or did you open a beach resort while I was away."
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I see Big J's tact is absent as ever!


theJMPer said:
"Really?" Wisky peeked around her sisters. Her nose scrunched up and Jersey could hear the unnecessary calculations running through her weeb-infected mind. Wisconsin had an unusually large German enclave and… well, it showed. "You look ready to pop now."

"Actually, yeah," said Jersey. "Is that a fuckin' globe under your shirt?"

"Hardy har," Gale groaned.

"No, really." Mo adjusted her mirrored red sunglasses and momentarily flashed her angry red irises. "I can see longitude lines."

"What?" Gale made a face and hiked up her shirt. Not only was her belly a perfect sphere, someone had drawn a navigation-quality map of the world—or at least the western hemisphere—on her taut skin. "Borie!"
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Destroyer pranks bring more Gale suffering!

theJMPer said:
Wisky produced a soggy five dollar bill from somewhere in that absurd rig of a swimsuit and wordlessly handed it to her equally damp sister.

"Look…" Jersey shook her head, trying to keep things on topic before the combined sexual energy of three soaking-wet Iowas in swimwear completely destroyed the combat effectiveness of Naval Activities Sasebo. "Where's the doc, I need to talk to him."
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Just don't let Johnston see you three and we should be okay!


theJMPer said:
"It was, uh, Vicky's idea actually," said Jersey. "We go into a deep trance together and… point is it worked." She bit her lip and forced herself to slow down. "The Abyss is old."

"We knew that."

"I mean really old," said Jersey. "It's… okay, we're the manifestation of hope and sailors' dreams and all that positive shit, right?" she motioned to herself and her sisters.

"As far as we can figure, yeah."

"But they are the manifestation of fear and terror," said Jersey. "The Abyss was born the first time man struck another man in anger on the sea. Or maybe just close to them. Maybe blood washes off the beaches and feeds the Abyss."

"That'd be my reading," said Wisky, adjusting her glasses.

"Right," said Jersey. "The Abyss feeds on fear and hate and destruction and death… and during the war we gave it the fuckin' mother of all buffets."

"But after 1945…"

"We starved them…" said Mo. "It… whatever."

"And this has happened before," said Wisky.

"The Sea Peoples," said Crowning. "Another period of peace and prosperity disrupted by raiders from the ocean."

"Exactly!" said Jersey. "But there's more."

"We met their admiral," said Mo. "Old Jones himself."

"He put on the face of Admiral Lutjens," said Jersey. "He gave me his dagger, his Imperial German dagger."

"Okay…" Crowning blinked.

"You don't understand why that's significant?" half-asked Jersey.

Wisky didn't wait for a response. "Lutjens served his country because he had to, not because he had any particular allegiance to the Nazi party. Well—"

"It's the short version," Mo deftly snipped one of her little sister's meandering rants in the bud.

"But I wanted to tell him—"

"Ohmygod, shut the fuck up!" Jersey snapped. "Look," she rounded on Crowning. "I think the Abyss and its admiral aren't the same thing. And I think the admiral's rooting for us."
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Somewhere a certain sailing ship is laughing while turning shrimp on the barbie!


theJMPer said:
"Thanks," said Jersey. "Oh, and uh…" she glanced around and coughed significantly until her sisters left her alone. "You and 'shima fucking yet?"

"Oh my god, Jersey!" Gale scowled from off-camera, but from the sound of it she was too hungry to waste any more time yelling while there was food to eat. Crowning slowly turned a new and interesting shade of red.
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Sometimes I think Jersey teases Crowning because he and Kirishima are a thing now and she and him imploded. She's jealous... *dodges shells*



theJMPer said:
Jersey shook her head with a roguish grin. "Ain't nothing that can match an Iowa. Anyway, I got shit to do. Gale?"

"What!?"

"If you pop before I see you again, congrats."

"Oh," Gale's bluster deflated in much the way her stomach didn't. "Thanks, Jerjer."

"Because you're pregnant I'm gonna let that slide," Jersey shook her head. "Take care of yourself."
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Oh give it a rest already JerJer, that nickname will stay with you forever!


theJMPer said:
The first time they'd met, Jersey had not had a very high opinion of the battleship Yamato. She was big, the biggest girl and near-on the biggest thing in Sasebo. But she seemed almost afraid of her height, shy and blushing and demure. She got her hips stuck in places a proper battleship could have—should have—smashed her way out of without a second thought. She didn't command the attention of a room just by entering it, stature be damned. She almost folded into herself and forced the spotlight away.
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We already have a Yamato who's shy and quiet and her name is Shinano!


theJMPer said:
The admiral glared at Jersey, his gaze burning through her mirrored shades and almost melting her ice-blue eyes. "Run her down, find her home, and burn it to the ground. I leave the details in your very capable hands."

"Sir," said Jersey. "It would be my honor."
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Something tells me that Tosa will be begging to be sent back to the locker! That frozen hell will be very much preferred over the hell that JerJer is going to rain on her parade! Of course having Yams and Titsushi along for the ride will help too. *dodges 16 inch and 18 inch shells!* Oi! Save those for the Princess will ya!
 
Generally speaking, it's Iron and I who have the canon omakes. Some exceptions aside :p

(...I swear, I'll write another one. Eventually.)
 
CompassJimbo said:
Have you not been following @Old Iron and his omakes?
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neutronium95 said:
The one that introduces Yamato isn't threadmarked, I missed it when I first binged the story, I had to backtrack and find it after I realized that I missed it.
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Sigh. Honestly. This is the first time I managed to read through the entire damn story. I had been following the story on SB a couple years ago but I got tired of it and let it fall to the wayside. I saw this on SV and decided to give it another try and thanks to the Threadmarks I manage to get the gist of the main story but I avoided the majority of the omakes because I did not want to get waylaid from the main story. Therefore, my biggest complaint with this story and others like it, that one KC/Harry Potter crossover comes to mind, is that there is too much to read through the main story, the canonized omakes, and the non-canon omakes. Not to mention too much going on in story to keep track of. Which is why I threw up my hands on SB and moved on. I am glad that I managed to get to the end of the story so far, and that I will be reading the new stuff as it comes out but I can see why some newcomers don't even try to read this story due to how much there is...
 
... it kinda says something about the amount of free time I have since I've re-read the story plus omakes multiple times. :lol
 
theJMPer said:
"Thanks," said Jersey. "Oh, and uh…" she glanced around and coughed significantly until her sisters left her alone. "You and 'shima fucking yet?"
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One of the many reasons I don't read and drink. Too much risk for a disastrous spittake. XD
theJMPer said:
As much as she hated the little shit… she'd never seen Yuudachi cry. Not like that. Destroyers weren't supposed to cry. They made other people cry, but this…
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Now I feel like even more of a monster.
theJMPer said:
The admiral glared at Jersey, his gaze burning through her mirrored shades and almost melting her ice-blue eyes. "Run her down, find her home, and burn it to the ground. I leave the details in your very capable hands."
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They say the Devil is in the details and now Hell shall rain down upon you, Tosa.
Skywalker_T-65 said:
Generally speaking, it's Iron and I who have the canon omakes. Some exceptions aside :p

(...I swear, I'll write another one. Eventually.)
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We who must write! XD
theJMPer said:
Canon omakes are those that get referenced in my stuff. That's the main way to tell, tbh.

Also, might I direct some viewers thusly?
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Oh dear lordy it's a thing now.
 
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