- Location
- North of England
- Pronouns
- She/They
Why bother Ebri? We already have the Sleeves of Improbable Capacity.
Anderson Quest: Killing Vampires and Werewolves and Leprechauns (Hellsing/Bloodborne)
- Thread starter Tricia
- Start date
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
Do you really want to carry the bust that may or may not be cursed?
[X] "Hold on a second."
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
Manic Dogma
This, I can't deny.
- Location
- The far side of tired
- Pronouns
- Whatever
This quest is a goddamn health hazard. You're killing me, Tricia.
[X] "Hold on a second."
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
[X] Is there a way to get to the nightmare without fucking with Rom?
Dirtnap
Kanmusu Affecionado
[X] "Hold on a second."
[X] "Hold on a second."
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
[X] Is there a way to get to the nightmare without fucking with Rom?
And so, we finally see the face of our mortal enemy, the chief architect.
[X] "Hold on a second."
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
[X] Is there a way to get to the nightmare without fucking with Rom?
And so, we finally see the face of our mortal enemy, the chief architect.
reborn214
Deep in thought
- Location
- California
Does Anderson know about the nightmare? I mean he can piece together there is a connection to another world from Yurie, but I don't think the nightmare was mentioned.
Okibruez
(Verified Mid-Boss)
- Location
- Dreams
It's not that he's incompetent; normal incompetence would write down pi as 3... and then fail to produce a working engine. Even impressive incompetence would merely cause catastrophic failure.
No, Bloody Stupid Johnson is exactly as far away from incompetence as absolute genius is. He's just in exactly the opposite direction. Negative genius, if you will. (Word of God on that, so.)
Certainly mere average stupidity could never produce an explosive mixture from simple sand and water, nor a triangle composed of 3 perfect right angles.
This explains the construction of this godawful place perfectly. It really, really does.
noahgab1133
Fluffy?
[X] "Hold on a second."
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
-[X] Go back to Johnson's bust
--[X] A wee bit of vandalism is in order here.
[X] Ask about
-[X] Yurie
-[X] Rom
Postgraduate Work
You lean back in your seat, conflicted. One part of you wants to grill Yurie immediately, learn more about this creature that somehow managed to make the leap from squishy pink ape to spacemurderspider. The other part, which just realized he significance of one of the busts, wants catharsis.
"Hold on a sec." You hop to your feet, feeling serious raised-eyebrow vibes from behind Yurie's blindfold, and stroll over to Johnson's bust with permanent marker in hand. If you can't impale him on one of his own bullshit levers, at least you can profane his legacy.
"I wouldn't," she chimes in.
"I would," you reply, looking over your target. Phrenology appears to have failed once again; he's not terribly bad-looking, strong cheekbones and muttonchops compensating for a rather weak chin. Nothing some unflattering facial hair can't fix; you pause in front of it, inwardly debating the relative merits of Hitler moustaches and Fu Manchus, when something occurs to you.
It wasn't facing this way when you came in.
Confused, you circle it. The face follows you no matter where you go, though you can neither see nor hear any hint that it's actually rotating. You move about until the thing is at a ninety-degree angle between you and Simon and put a finger on its nose.
"Simon, what part o' this thing am I touchin'?"
He quirks his own eyebrow before replying. "The cheek. Why?"
"What."
Yurie snorts. "Johnson got enamored with those paintings whose eyes seem to follow you and decided to try his own 'illusory optic.' Don't bother trying to draw on it, it'll just make the migraine worse."
"But," you sputter, "that doesn't make any sense."
"Neither does most of what we've run into," says Simon.
"Yeah, but that shit was sensibly nonsensical. Oy, Ebrietas."
Yes?
"Can ye see this from the door?"
Hang on. You hear some bumping as she tries to slip part of her sizable head through the frame. One green eye settles into view. Okay, I...
A wince visibly ripples across her features. Ow. Ow, that makes my head hurt. She shuffles back onto the porch, tubules wriggling as she tries to shake off the sight, while Simon apparently thinks better of getting up to check it himself.
"Sorry 'bout that," you call to her. You consider rearing back and smashing the thing, but you're afraid that'd collapse the waveform or something and blow you all to bits. A small, bitter part of you gives the man props for successfully defending his work using only a reputation for cataclysmic buffoonery.
You return to your seat with a grumble before the throbbing behind your eyes can get any worse. "So what kinda dark ritual'd he use ta pull that off? He sacrifice two art critics and a postmodernist goat?"
"Just a hammer, chisel, and his own unique brand of transcendental anti-competence," says Yurie. "Three of my classmates wrote their theses on Johnson and at least one was convinced that he was the key to learning higher truths by virtue of being the opposite of enlightened. I think he described Johnson as 'the shadow through which we find the light'."
"Poetic. Anyway, movin' on from the hazards o' pushin' the limits o' human ingenuity to uncharted territory, what's yer story?"
Her newly-unearthed levity slips away in a heartbeat. "I am the last surviving student of Byrgenwerth. The Forest's parasite infestation and those three men isolated the campus from Yharnam and supplies ran low. Most of the faculty grouped up and tried to make a push through the wilds to civilization. None came back; I've been alone with what's left of Master Willem for years, living off of lakewater and what little I can grow from the soil." She coughs and slips around the corner, coming back soon after with glasses of water. "At least I still have everyone's research material."
"Yeah, heard about the snakes," you say after a sip. Doesn't taste too bad, all things considered. "Nasty shite. Ye tried makin' yer way out yerself?"
"No; Byrgenwerth is my home."
"Fair enough. What's with the pricks in the hoods?"
"I don't know; I've killed them more times than I can count. It takes them some time to return, at least."
"Is Master Willem still alive?" says Simon. "He was well into his sixties when I first heard of him and that was shortly after the founding of the Healing Church."
"He is, by a certain definition of the term." She seems unfazed by Simon's anachronistic shenanigans. "When one delves as deeply into the nature of the cosmos as he did, one's mind isn't the only thing affected."
"I've certainly seen stranger," he replies with a nod. "You've been an excellent host, I must say."
She smiles a bit at that. "It's...it's nice to have an actual conversation for once."
"Glad ta provide," you say. "Ebrietas, want some water?"
I can get some from the lake, but thank you!
"Right, then." You swirl the water in your glass for procrastination's sake. "What's Rom's deal?"
"Besides being an interdimensional roadblock?"
"Yeah; how's a human turn into a Great One?"
"Willem never revealed the process; all he ever shared was that her mind didn't survive the transformation. She hasn't moved from somewhere beneath the lake in all the time I've been here. I don't believe she knows how to do anything but exist."
"There any way ta get ta what she's blockin' without botherin' her?"
"I've spent quite a bit of time on that topic and the only answer I can find is no. Her only function as a living creature is to serve as a barrier; it's fundamentally tied into her very being. She's like a mountain in the middle of a road, impossible to go around." She shakes her head. "I've looked for a way around or through or over, brought all of Byrgenwerth's history and resources to bear. Nothing. And I can't kill her. Can't unleash what she's protecting us from."
"Even if we found the door?" says Simon. "We have the means to get to that plane if we take Rom out of the equation."
Yurie bristles slightly and doesn't speak for several moments.
Um, Ebrietas interjects, I can try to help Yurie with her work. Maybe I can talk to Rom and she can be our friend?
[] Let Ebrietas try to assist
[] Go after Rom
[] Go to
-[] Where?
[] Write in...
"Hold on a sec." You hop to your feet, feeling serious raised-eyebrow vibes from behind Yurie's blindfold, and stroll over to Johnson's bust with permanent marker in hand. If you can't impale him on one of his own bullshit levers, at least you can profane his legacy.
"I wouldn't," she chimes in.
"I would," you reply, looking over your target. Phrenology appears to have failed once again; he's not terribly bad-looking, strong cheekbones and muttonchops compensating for a rather weak chin. Nothing some unflattering facial hair can't fix; you pause in front of it, inwardly debating the relative merits of Hitler moustaches and Fu Manchus, when something occurs to you.
It wasn't facing this way when you came in.
Confused, you circle it. The face follows you no matter where you go, though you can neither see nor hear any hint that it's actually rotating. You move about until the thing is at a ninety-degree angle between you and Simon and put a finger on its nose.
"Simon, what part o' this thing am I touchin'?"
He quirks his own eyebrow before replying. "The cheek. Why?"
"What."
Yurie snorts. "Johnson got enamored with those paintings whose eyes seem to follow you and decided to try his own 'illusory optic.' Don't bother trying to draw on it, it'll just make the migraine worse."
"But," you sputter, "that doesn't make any sense."
"Neither does most of what we've run into," says Simon.
"Yeah, but that shit was sensibly nonsensical. Oy, Ebrietas."
Yes?
"Can ye see this from the door?"
Hang on. You hear some bumping as she tries to slip part of her sizable head through the frame. One green eye settles into view. Okay, I...
A wince visibly ripples across her features. Ow. Ow, that makes my head hurt. She shuffles back onto the porch, tubules wriggling as she tries to shake off the sight, while Simon apparently thinks better of getting up to check it himself.
"Sorry 'bout that," you call to her. You consider rearing back and smashing the thing, but you're afraid that'd collapse the waveform or something and blow you all to bits. A small, bitter part of you gives the man props for successfully defending his work using only a reputation for cataclysmic buffoonery.
You return to your seat with a grumble before the throbbing behind your eyes can get any worse. "So what kinda dark ritual'd he use ta pull that off? He sacrifice two art critics and a postmodernist goat?"
"Just a hammer, chisel, and his own unique brand of transcendental anti-competence," says Yurie. "Three of my classmates wrote their theses on Johnson and at least one was convinced that he was the key to learning higher truths by virtue of being the opposite of enlightened. I think he described Johnson as 'the shadow through which we find the light'."
"Poetic. Anyway, movin' on from the hazards o' pushin' the limits o' human ingenuity to uncharted territory, what's yer story?"
Her newly-unearthed levity slips away in a heartbeat. "I am the last surviving student of Byrgenwerth. The Forest's parasite infestation and those three men isolated the campus from Yharnam and supplies ran low. Most of the faculty grouped up and tried to make a push through the wilds to civilization. None came back; I've been alone with what's left of Master Willem for years, living off of lakewater and what little I can grow from the soil." She coughs and slips around the corner, coming back soon after with glasses of water. "At least I still have everyone's research material."
"Yeah, heard about the snakes," you say after a sip. Doesn't taste too bad, all things considered. "Nasty shite. Ye tried makin' yer way out yerself?"
"No; Byrgenwerth is my home."
"Fair enough. What's with the pricks in the hoods?"
"I don't know; I've killed them more times than I can count. It takes them some time to return, at least."
"Is Master Willem still alive?" says Simon. "He was well into his sixties when I first heard of him and that was shortly after the founding of the Healing Church."
"He is, by a certain definition of the term." She seems unfazed by Simon's anachronistic shenanigans. "When one delves as deeply into the nature of the cosmos as he did, one's mind isn't the only thing affected."
"I've certainly seen stranger," he replies with a nod. "You've been an excellent host, I must say."
She smiles a bit at that. "It's...it's nice to have an actual conversation for once."
"Glad ta provide," you say. "Ebrietas, want some water?"
I can get some from the lake, but thank you!
"Right, then." You swirl the water in your glass for procrastination's sake. "What's Rom's deal?"
"Besides being an interdimensional roadblock?"
"Yeah; how's a human turn into a Great One?"
"Willem never revealed the process; all he ever shared was that her mind didn't survive the transformation. She hasn't moved from somewhere beneath the lake in all the time I've been here. I don't believe she knows how to do anything but exist."
"There any way ta get ta what she's blockin' without botherin' her?"
"I've spent quite a bit of time on that topic and the only answer I can find is no. Her only function as a living creature is to serve as a barrier; it's fundamentally tied into her very being. She's like a mountain in the middle of a road, impossible to go around." She shakes her head. "I've looked for a way around or through or over, brought all of Byrgenwerth's history and resources to bear. Nothing. And I can't kill her. Can't unleash what she's protecting us from."
"Even if we found the door?" says Simon. "We have the means to get to that plane if we take Rom out of the equation."
Yurie bristles slightly and doesn't speak for several moments.
Um, Ebrietas interjects, I can try to help Yurie with her work. Maybe I can talk to Rom and she can be our friend?
[] Let Ebrietas try to assist
[] Go after Rom
[] Go to
-[] Where?
[] Write in...
Last edited:
[X] Let Ebrietas try to assist
-[X] If that bust won't sit still and accept the defacing it deserves, than a good smashing will have to do.
-[X] If that bust won't sit still and accept the defacing it deserves, than a good smashing will have to do.
FunkyEntropy
Occasionally insightful, possibly grumpy
- Location
- Los Angeles
No, no. Clearly, we ought to weaponize it.
At the very least it ought to make for a very interesting and non-standard grenade.
- Location
- A Place Miserably Bereft of Cats
I really do not like the idea of shoving something that warps space just by existing into our infinitely folded space sleeves.
That sounds like it might spawn a whole new Great One.
[X] Let Ebrietas try to assist
-[X] If that bust won't sit still and accept the defacing it deserves, than a good smashing will have to do.
-[X] If that bust won't sit still and accept the defacing it deserves, than a good smashing will have to do.
Well, it looks like working on Yharnam give him some new insight into his work. It's good, I think?
Highwind
To Rise From The Ashes
- Location
- Brazil
[X] Let Ebrietas try to assist
That's a no brainer. Even of she doesn't manage to speak with Rom, the good lass should still be given a chance to try.
That's a no brainer. Even of she doesn't manage to speak with Rom, the good lass should still be given a chance to try.
The bust gave Ebrietas a headache. I don't think breaking it is a good idea. It might turn everything in a three mile radius into chesse for all we know.
- Location
- Portland
[x] Let Ebrietas try to assist
-[x] But try to keep an eye on things.
-[x] But try to keep an eye on things.
ChildishChimera
A umbran summon
- Location
- New York
[x] Let Ebrietas try to assist
-[x] But try to keep an eye on things.
-[x] But try to keep an eye on things.
- Location
- USA
.....I'm now imagining a Eldtrich Horror calling Anderson dad.....it's both amusing and terrifying at the same time.
PhantomFractions
I can (not) type fast enough
- Location
- Australia
I couldn't ever decide what the best part of this quest is, but the whole Bloody Stupid Johnson reference has got to be near the top of the list.
[X] Let Ebrietas try to assist
-[X] Try fitting Johnson's bust up your sleeves
[X] Let Ebrietas try to assist
-[X] Try fitting Johnson's bust up your sleeves