A Worm in the Gulch (Worm/Red vs. Blue)

SkyRig · Oct 20, 2022

#9: Houston, We Have A Problem

"Of all the egotistical, self-centered, sons of bitches I've ever met, you assholes really do take the cake! I mean, for fuck's sake, what the fucking fuck is wrong with you people?! First this jackass ropes me into helping you people, then you basically me do all your goddamn chores and don't bother to help! Oh, and let's not forget the amount of times you've conveniently forgotten to tell me about Caboose's superhuman feats of screwing up or breaking shit without even trying! And then you pull this shit on top of all of that! We have a plan! One you don't bother telling me AFTER YOU ALMOST FUCKING SHOT ME WITH THE SNIPER RIFLE!"

"W-well, uh, w-we thought you—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I! AM! TALKING!"

"Meep."

Caboose tilted his head. "Mom is really angry," he said stating the obvious. "Do you think she needs to, um? What was it you told me, Church? That you need to get the big stick out of you?"

Church wasn't listening. Not really. He was feeling quite conflicted. On the one hand, he felt irritated. Taylor finally blew her lid, and in grand fashion no less. Perhaps it was a good thing she had no idea how to handle a gun, otherwise he feared she would be using them as target practice. She very much reminded him of Tex during shark week. On the other hand, he also felt a substantial amount of pride. For…some weird reason.

He was also impressed by how her throat wasn't sore from how loud she was screaming.

"How long do you think she'll go on for?" Church asked with some amusement.

Tucker, on the other hand, was less than amused by his colleague's refusal to help. "Uh, dude? Little help here?! She's kinda freaking me out!"

When it became clear to him that, no, Church was not going to help him, Tucker flipped him the bird. Then Taylor directed her rage to Church. Tucker was the one radiating smugness while Church found himself wondering whether Tex reincarnated or possessed her.

He did not want to find out the answer.

It took about an hour for my anger to abate. Actually, no, that's wrong. My anger hadn't completely disappeared. Finding an outlet to wail on helped ease my stress, but my anger just…diminished. It was still there, though much lesser. It was more like irritation and annoyance than full-on white-hot anger.

"So…" Church started slowly. "Are we calm now?"

"For now," I bit out testily.

"Eres una mujer muy aterradora," Lopez remarked.

We didn't retrieve Lopez so much as he surrendered to us. During his escape attempt, the Reds launched a surprise assault with their jeep. Because Lopez' armor was cobalt, they mistook him for a Blue and attempted to run him down. They didn't get very far as the jeep somehow exploded. Simmons and Sarge somehow survived and quickly mounted a retreat. How the jeep exploded, I hadn't the faintest idea.

Lopez didn't mount any further escape attempts. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was defeated.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Church huffed. "Just hurry up and fix Sheila already, would ya?"

The Spanish-speaking robot grunted and continued to work. The metal plating on the "head" of the tank was removed, exposing various wires, gears, pistons, and other metal innards.

"So, how long is he gonna take?" Tucker asked. "And is Sheila even gonna still be in there?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? Isn't Sheila what you call your tank?"

"Oh no, Sheila's the AI inside the tank," he explained. "She helped Caboose run a tutorial when he hopped in…" Tucker eyed Caboose warily. "Though I'm pretty sure he fucked with her settings somehow. You know, friendly fire and all that."

"Tucker did it!"

"Caboose, that doesn't work if Tucker's right here," Church groaned. "God, what the hell was Command thinking when they sent him?"

"Dude, I don't think they think period. I mean, come on. We've been sitting in the ass-end of nowhere in the middle of Bum-Fuck-Egypt for years doing nothing but fighting a bunch of red guys over flags. They win, they get a flag and another base. We win, same thing."

"Whoop-dee-fucking-do," Church said irritably.

Just when you think this world couldn't get anymore outlandish. Assuming Tucker was right and they were that incompetent, I really did have to wonder how in the hell they had futuristic tech when this was what they invested time and money into. I had half a mind to call Vic and ask him, but I had been doing that so much lately that I worried whether he was getting annoyed with my frequent calls.

"Termine," Lopez announced as he peeled himself off the tank and closed its hood.

Moments later, I heard the sound of machinery powering up. The floodlights on the tank flickered for a few seconds before powering on. A synthetic female voice emerged from the speakers. "Hello, and thank you for activating the… Wait, where am I?"

"Sheila!" Caboose cheered. "Your fixed!"

"'bout fucking time," Tucker chuckled.

The turret stared down Caboose. "Private Caboose? Oh, how nice to see you. May I ask what happened? My memory bank seems to be damaged."

"Long story short, you got fucked up and we had to fix you," Church said. "You can thank this guy."

Lopez waved. "Hola."

"Oh? I was not aware we had new soldiers!" Sheila cooed. "This unit is the M808B Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila."

"Hello," I greeted amicably. It should say something that I liked talking with the A.I. more than I did with these guys. "I'm Taylor."

Lopez puffed his chest. For some reason. "Y yo soy Lopez La Pesado."

"Hello. It's very nice to meet you both!"

Sheila was nice. I liked her.

…is it just me, or was Sheila's turret aimed at Lopez for a long time?

Ugh, about fucking time.

Being reduced to a dig—ghostly state was unpleasant, to say the least. At first, Texas was certain she died for good after that pink bitch lobbed the sticky grenade at her and the tank. When she came to, she was disoriented and confused, memories scrambled to the point she barely remembered her name. It took weeks for the disorientation to subside and for her to regain clarity.

It took her some time to realize she was trapped in someplace without any wifi. To be more precise, she was in some sort of dead zone. No connection, which meant she couldn't contact anyone outside or leave this place. She figured out where she was relatively quickly. Upon her death, her consciousness transferred and got locked inside of the closest vessel capable of holding her.

Unfortunately, that vessel turned out to be the damaged tank and an inert A.I.

Now, Texas could admit she was never the most patient person. Were she stuck inside Sheila for as long as she was damaged and broken, she likely would've gone insane. Thankfully, she only came to recently and spent around a month. The boredom in that time was alleviated thanks to Caboose. Despite Sheila being effectively in a coma until those idiots repaired her, she could still hear things from outside.

In his attempts to repair her, Caboose talked about the new girl Church "recruited" into their ranks. Some civilian who got dropped into Blood Gulch with no idea how she got there or why. Unsurprisingly, Church roped her into joining Blue Team and had her doing manual labor around the base as well as supervising Caboose. She must've been doing a good job because the idiot called her "Mom".

It was cute. Kind of.

After spending a month of waiting, Texas felt her patience reaching its end when opportunity came knocking. Church finally got someone competent to fix Sheila. Once she was done, she had a connection to the outside world. Better yet, there was a port nearby; the robot Church previously inhabited and the one responsible for repairing Sheila. Without any hesitation and more than eager to get out of here, Texas jumped into the port.

There was some resistance from her new body. It fought back, but only briefly as she easily overpowered it and inserted herself into her new lodgings.

Jesus, so stiff, Tex thought as she flexed her new fingers. The robot was definitely not built to be limber. The legs felt heavier for some reason, too.

Still, it was better than having no body at all.

"Aah, that's better."

The blue idiots stared at her gobsmacked. "Wait, what the heck?" Tucker cocked his head in confusion. "Since when the hell did he speak English? Did he finally find the language setting?"

"Why does the robot sound like a woman?" Caboose asked.

Church figured it out quickly and balked. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me…"

Were she in a flesh-and-blood body, Texas would have grinned. "Buenos días, cockbites. Guess who's back!"

Sorry this took so long. IRL is being a bitch. Not helping matters is that some games are coming out soon. I won't like, I'm sort of excited for Gotham Knights if only because of Red Hood. I don't really care about the drama involving that game since I care about the experience, not the technical shit. Oh, and I'm getting Persona 5 Royal for the Switch. So fucking excited.

Anyways, regarding the thing with Tex being trapped in Sheila, this was both on-the-spot and headcanon stuff. When Church lost his OG body, he came back as a "ghost" a couple hours later. It took Tex months to do the same. My theory is that after she got blown to bits, Texas got stuck inside Sheila's body and couldn't get back until Lopez fixed her. Granted, as I said, it was on the spot, but after writing the scene it made sense to me. Think how quick she came back after Sheila was fixed. So, yeah, this is my explanation.

Updates are going to be a bit slower cuz of the aforementioned gaming stuff and IRL matters. Hope you guys continue to enjoy, because this bitch is gonna continue updating until we hit Season 3.

One last thing. PLEASE keep any and all discussion regarding RoosterTeeth's most recent problems out of the thread. I'd rather not have it get derailed by mods, thank you very much. I don't think you guys will, but better to be safe than sorry, you know?

SkyRig · Oct 24, 2022

#10: The Other White Meat
(AKA Taylor Enrolls in Hard Knocks)

"So, let me get this straight. You pretty much got dropped here, in the ass-end of nowhere, without any memory how or why."

"Yyyep."

"And the last thing you remember before waking up was being shoved into your own locker. Which was full of crap from the girl's bathroom?"

"It's as disgusting as it sounds. So many bugs…"

"…riiight. And after you almost got killed because of these idiots, you ended getting shanghaied into working with them."

"Your boyfriend didn't really leave me much choice, and I didn't have a lot of options at the time. Honestly, if I had known about the amount of crap that goes on in this base, I'd have taken my chances with Grif and the others. Actually, about Church… I have to ask, does he always act like he has his sniper rifle shoved up his…"

Tucker snickered. "Sucks to be you, huh, Church?"

His ghostly friend flipped him off in response without so much as looking his way. He was more busy trying to make sure Caboose didn't do something with Sheila after she'd been fixed. Tex's return was definitely cause for concern in more ways that one, specifically ways that involved his body and bruises and broken bones, but those concerns were far and away at the moment.

Taylor Hebert was something of a curious case for him and the rest of Blue Team. Vic promised he'd do what he could to help her and find out who dropped her off at Blood Gulch, but he couldn't find anything. There was no record of any drop ships or unscheduled arrivals coming anywhere near the canyon, and Taylor herself was lost in the system. There were hundreds of girls with the same name, all scattered across the vast, wide universe. It was like looking for a needle in the haystack, according to the desk jockey.

Tucker chalked it up to yet another instance of Command being incompetent. Caboose was proof of that.

Despite what Taylor thought, Church hadn't actually planned on roping her in per say. The original plan was just to have her stay at their base until Command found her parents and contacted them. Tucker was the first to voice against her joining, given they had to deal with Caboose on a daily basis. The only reason she had been roped into joining Blue Team was because Caboose, for some reason, took a liking to her and followed her around like a baby chic. It was a little amusing and adorable, to be honest.

Well, minus the times when she had to actually deal with Caboose and his idiocy. They tried very hard to make sure he didn't pull another Team Killing Fucktard moment like he had with Church months ago.

"At least they're getting along," Tucker said happily. "Maybe it's cause they're both girls?"

"I'm sorry. Was that supposed to be a joke?" Church grumbled, his feelings the polar opposite of Tucker's. "Because I'm not laughing."

"Sheesh, what's got your panties in a twist?"

"My problem is that Tex is hogging my body!" he yelled angrily. "Oh, and how about the fact that she showed up out of nowhere after I spent all that time grieving!"

Tucker scoffed. "Grieving? That what you call insulting her for three months?"

"She got killed by a grenade!"

"While driving a tank," Tucker countered. "If anything, dying in a tank is a badass way to go."

"Still doesn't change the fact she's taken over my body! You know, the one I worked really hard to steal!"

"You mean the body you used to try and convince the Reds that Tex was attacking before that pink chick blew her up," Tucker corrected him.

Church threw his hands up. "Semantics! I still worked really hard, dammit!"

Texas was… Okay, she was every bit as intimidating as Church made her out to be. At first she grilled me on how I ended up with Church and Blue Team and about how I'd regret it if tried to take her spot. She honestly reminded me a lot of the Trio at that moment up until she realized I was younger than she thought, which she then proceeded to grill me about how I wound up in Blood Gulch at all.

Her concern was touching almost. I say almost because she left a rough first impression. Still, she was better than the Trio was.

Having said that…

"So, are you really a ghost?" I asked skeptically.

Texas chuckled. "What makes you think I'm not?"

"Because Church also claims he is a ghost, and I don't believe in them. Way I see it, you're either really advanced computer programs like A.I. or people who got superpowers and found a way to cheat death." Upon pursuing that line of thought, I felt a cold shudder run down my spine. "And I'm really hoping it's the latter."

"Why's that?"

"Because Church can't work a sniper rifle to save his goddamn life. If he really is an A.I., he has to be the crappiest I've ever heard of."

Texas stared at me for a moment before throwing her head back and laughed. "Yeah, he totally would, wouldn't he? Well, let's just say I'm a complicated person and leave it at that." She paused briefly. "…by the way, about the guys. Have they been acting weird since I died?"

"Weird as in how?"

"I don't know. Aggressively, confrontational? Maybe acting like they're on their periods or something?"

I frowned in thought. "Well, Church is always angry at something, and Tucker's…well, Tucker."

"He hasn't tried anything, has he?" Texas suddenly asked, giving Tucker a pointed glare with her visor.

"Nope. He said he had standards and that I was too young," I told her.

The Freelancer grunted and folded her arms, turning her gaze to Caboose. "And what about the blue moron over there?"

"Caboose? Oh, he's a sweetheart. A little…dumb, but a sweetheart when he's not carrying anything. Although, I have noticed he says some weird things and that he's been threatening Tucker an awful lot lately without realizing it."

"I see…"

"Why do you ask?"

"Let's talk to Church and Tucker, first. They're going to want to hear this too."

I raised an eyebrow, but agreed and followed after her.

"…I'm just saying, this is really freaking weird," I heard Tucker as we approached. "How would that even work, anyway?"

"Way I figure it, it could be worse," Church drawled.

"Oh yeah? How?!"

"Caboose could be in love with a sangheili."

Tucker went silent. "…fair point."

Sangheili? What was that? Maybe some kind of alien species?

"Do I even wanna know what you guys are talking about?" Texas said, making the men notice her.

"We were talkin' about Caboose and Sheila," Tucker said.

"You mean his giant crush on her."

I blinked. "Wait, what?"

Church groaned. "Don't ask how or why. Follow my lead in that I don't know, and I never wanna know… Wait a second, how the hell did you know about Caboose's crush on the tank?"

"I was stuck in Sheila for three months, remember? Just because I was trapped inside doesn't mean I was oblivious." Texas sighed. "Lucky for me, I only really came to about a month ago, so I didn't go completely stir crazy. You guys really do some stupid shit, huh?"

"What was your first clue?" Church grunted. "Also, when are you gonna give me back my body?"

"Technically, that's Lopez's body," I pointed out. "And if you say he's not actually a person, I'll rope you into helping me with an experiment." A cold smile grew under the helm. "You said you're a ghost, right? Then why not test that theory with a good old fashioned exorcism?"

"Ooh, good idea," Texas cackled. "You dig up the body, and I'll sneak into Red Base and snatch us some salt."

Tucker gleefully joined in. "Cool. I'll help burn the body."

"What the fuck is this, some kind of mutiny?"

"Pretty much, cockbite."

"Wow. Fuck. You. All."

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Texas snarked. "All fun aside, keep your panties on. I'll give you back your body…on two conditions."

Church grumbled under his breath. "Ugh… Fine. Okay. What do you want?"

"First, a body for myself. Lopez was built by the Reds, right? They should be able to cook up a new one, if they haven't already replaced this guy."

"Okay, and the second thing?"

Texas glanced at Caboose, who was still talking rather animatedly with Sheila. "It's about Caboose."

"What about him?" Tucker asked. "Ooh, wait, you want us to kill him? I'll help!"

"No, you will not!" I shouted. I worriedly looked at Texas. She wasn't seriously considering that, right?

"Relax, he'll be fine. Mentally, though…" The woman sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Okay, fresh recap. You remember the A.I. I had in my head, right? The one Project Freelancer gave me?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Um, about that…" I looked on warily. A.I.'s were a touchy subject on Earth Bet for a variety of reasons, especially when the words 'artificial intelligence' and 'Machine Army' are in the same sentence. "This A.I. thing… Is it, you know, safe? Like, they're shackled?"

Texas shrugged. "Eh, they're mostly dumb A.I.'s. Can't operate beyond what they're operated to do. Though in my case, that sucker's a little different. Omega can jump between different hosts, but he always jumps back into me at the end of the day. Got to the point I had to keep him trapped with a special program so he wouldn't jump into anyone else."

"And the reason you're bringing this up is because…?" Tucker asked nervously.

Church was the first to realize what she was getting at and swore. "Fuck. He's inside Caboose?!"

"WHAT?!" Tucker and I yelled at once.

"Waitwaitwait, how's that possible?!" I yelled, both out of fear for Caboose and confusion. "From the way you guys made it out, Texas should be the only one who can have an A.I. in their head!"

"I wish," Texas hissed. "But rank-and-file soldiers like Church all have A.I. slots installed into their helmets, plus some implants. The slots are usually meant for dumb A.I., but Omega can hop into them, then take control over someone using their implants. Honestly, it's a miracle Caboose hasn't already been taken over. Which makes this the perfect opportunity."

"Perfect how?" Church growled. "You got an idiot with a bad habit for team killing plus herculean strength running around with a killer A.I. stuck in his head, and he's apparently due to go nuts any minute!"

"But Caboose is somehow resisting Omega. Which means we can jump right inside and kill the bastard."

The three of us all looked at Texas in surprise. "You…" I started slowly. "Want our help in killing your A.I.?"

"Why?" Tucker asked suspiciously. "Isn't that thing what made you a badass in the first place?"

Texas shook her head. "Trust me. Omega is bad news. The sooner we get rid of that bastard, the better."

"A-and how do you kill an A.I. inside somebody's head?" I asked. I was still scared for Caboose, but also very, very confused.

…then again, should I really be? This world makes zero sense as it is.

"Shouldn't be too hard," Texas shrugged, explaining absolutely nothing. "The real problem is keeping Omega inside Caboose's head long enough for us to kill it."

"You mean keep him from jumping into anyone," Tucker surmised. "And, uh, how do we do that?"

"Omega jumps around from person to person using radio signals. You just have to shut off every radio here in Blood Gulch. Including the Reds."

"Sounds easy enough."

As it turned out, killing Omega was not as easy as it sounds.

On the one hand, what happened afterwards was stressful. Between Doc getting possessed, us getting separated, and figuring out how I ended up in Blood Gulch in the first place, I was amazed I was still sane and not perpetually angry like Church was.

On the other hand, looking back at it now… I think that might've been the moment I started to consider these crazy people my friends.

Boy, did I have stories to tell Dad…

Before anyone asks, the chapter title isn't meant to be offensive. At least, I don't think it is. It's part of a joke involving Dallas and a possum. A joke I'm not ashamed to admit I don't get.

"Why didn't the possum cross the road? Because in Dallas he's the other white meat."

Next chapter is probs gonna be longer than the previous chapters. I'm aiming to wrap up the rest of Season 2 in the next few chapters.

SkyRig · Oct 31, 2022

#11: Radio Silence
(AKA Taylor Drives A Tank And Helps A Mexican Robot Serenade It)

"I think I'm going to regret asking, but is there any particular reason why we just did a recording of Lopez singing?"

"Insurance," Tucker said simply. "In case the Reds don't feel like listening." I got the distinct impression the aqua-colored soldier swallowed a lemon. "I know he's a robot and all, but damn is he tone deaf."

"Let's…" I groaned. "Let's just get his over with."

Church and Texas jumped inside of Caboose once we figured out a plan. Since Omega needed radiowaves to jump between people, all we had to do was make sure all the radios in the canyon were turned off. Tucker and I turned off ours, so all that was left to do was to convince the Reds to turn off theirs. It was simple, but in practice it was going to be difficult.

Namely because of Sarge.

"Well, let's get this over with," Tucker said as he hopped atop Sheila's leftmost side while Lopez took up the rightmost side. "Hop on in, Taylor!"

I blinked. "I'm sorry, what? Tucker, what in the hell makes you think I know how to drive a tank? I'm a high school student, not an engineer!"

"There is no need for prior credentials," Sheila assured me. "I am outfitted with a tutorial program."

I swallowed a nervous lump. It was one thing to try and learn how to drive a car. Dad showed me the basics when I told him I wanted to learn and one day get a driver's license. I took the lessons to heart and even managed to drive that rust-bucket he called a car well-enough around town without him. Having said that, I'm quite confident driving a tank was another thing altogether.

"W-what about Lopez? Wouldn't he be better suited to this?"

Lopez frantically shook his head and arms in refusal. "¡¿Qué?! No no no. Eso es... Oh no, estoy empezando a sudar."

"I'm gonna go on a limb and say he's too nervous," Tucker deadpanned. "God, first Caboose and now the robot… What, are tanks that sexy or something? I mean, granted, I've never done it inside a tank, but is it really that good?"

"…are you seriously asking that?"

There was a long, pregnant silence lasting exactly thirteen seconds before Tucker awkwardly coughed and looked away. "Yeah, um, let's just get this over with. Please try not to kill me. Blue Team has enough team-killing fucktards as it is…"

You know, there were a lot of things I expected to happen. I expected shooting. Lots and lots of shooting. I mean, that's a reasonable thing to expect, right? A tank comes rolling in, smashing your car and parks itself right in front of your base. That's enemy aggression. The Reds would naturally take up arms and fight back. Especially Sarge. He was a hothead with a hair-trigger. I had him pegged just from two interactions and what little I knew of from word-of-mouth.

Instead, I was sorely reminded how fucking cracked this universe was. Instead of panicking or retaliating when Tucker contacted them, they instead chose to give us the proverbial "fuck you" and told us to get lost. Admittedly, I was also expecting Tucker to get frustrated and launch an assault, but he took the thankfully less-lethal approach.

Said approach being to bombard their radios with the most god-awful music I've ever heard.

Just from the tone alone, it was a cheesy Aleph-worthy love song. And it was sung by a monotone Spanish-speaking robot. The target of the song, if the way Lopez looked at Sheila, was obvious.

Really, I should have known better. Nothing in this place makes sense. And I genuinely had no idea if it was just these people or if everyone in this universe was bonkers.

The plan ultimately went off without a hitch. The Reds turned off their radios, unwilling to listen to Lopez's god-awful singing any longer. Tucker and I shut off our radios as well. When we made it back to Blue Base, Caboose was back to normal and Church was back. Texas, strangely, was nowhere to be seen.

"We're back!" Tucker announced, hopping off of Sheila. Lopez carefully picked himself off the side of her chasis and landed on his feet. I had a little trouble getting out of the cockpit, but Lopez was there to pick up me up when I stumbled and nearly fell off. "How'd things go?"

"Peachy," Church huffed while looking around. "Either of you guys seen Tex?"

"She wasn't with you?"

"No. Either she's still in Caboose's head for some reason, or…" He shook his head and looked at us. "So, everything went okay on your end?"

"For the most part," I said. "Sheila's a little dinged up after smacking into the side of Outpost #1, but other than that…"

Even though I said that… Why couldn't I shake this feeling that something was wrong? It bugged me since we left Red Base. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind, gnawing and clawing for my attention.

"And how's Caboose?" Tucker asked. "He still, uh, weird or did you guys fix that?"

"Hi, Tucker!" Caboose chirped. "Hi, mom!"

I sighed heavily. "Caboose, for the last time… Ah, fuck it. Just do whatever you want. I'm too tired to deal with this crap right now…"

"Omega's gone for good," Church bit out. "Just one problem."

"What's that?"

"Apparently, there were some…side-effects."

"Like what?" Tucker glanced at Caboose. "No, wait, don't tell me. He's actually smart now."

"Caboose…" I started. "Is, um, everything okay? You don't feel weird or get the urge to murder people anymore for random reason?"

"Nope!" Caboose said happily. "I'm okay! The rookie said he helped!"

"That's good…wait, rookie?"

"Yeah, him!" He pointed to Church.

Tucker and I stared.

"He's kind of full of it, though."

"Turns out killing his mental image of me made me forget I ever existed," Church said. "On the one hand, I don't have to listen to him trying to get my attention every goddamn second. On the other hand, he now thinks I'm somebody new. He can't even remember what my goddamn name is."

"Waitwaitwait," Tucker held up his hands, relaying exactly what I was feeling at the moment. "What do you mean by mental image? The fuck happened inside of Caboose's head?"

"You want the short version or the long one?"

On the short side this time around, and that's just because I couldn't figure out what else to put into it. Seriously, short chapters are somehow the worst to write.

As always, google translate ftw for Lopez.

So, we're about, oooh, halfway done with Season 2 of BGC. All that's left now is the stuff with Sheila, Lopez, and of course Doc and the Reds. As mentioned previously, after Season 2 is wrapped up, I will be moving on to Phantom. Thanks to Persona 5 Royal releasing on Switch, my interest has been renewed and re-invigorated like you wouldn't believe.

…ah, fuck it. Mega updates when the time comes!

Admittedly, I'm also working on something else. It's something of an experiment; my first time writing a CYOA story. It'll be Worm, of course, and it will feature an OC because why not. On the subject of CYOA, The Director of Protectorate ENE is getting an update in the near future as well.

Surprise, surprise. I haven't forgotten about my Quest fanfic.

Out of curiosity, which Worm fanfic should I focus on after I've wrapped up the next arc for Phantom?

Cheers everyone. And Happy Halloween.

Usual shill. If you wanna support me financially, please consider buying Chase Ryder and the City of Lost Memories over on Amazon. Kindle is cheapest.

SkyRig · Nov 16, 2022

#12: Belated
(AKA Taylor Realizes She Missed One)

"Okay, so let me get this straight," I began slowly. At this point, despite the absurdity and nonsensical things I've seen up until now, Blood Gulch still finds ways to shock me. "Caboose's mind has, in your words, fucked up versions of us. Tucker was obsessed with eating food and sniffing butts…"

The aqua-colored soldier was no doubt giving the blissfully ignorant Caboose a harsh glare under his helmet. "Really, dude?"

"You were apparently his best friend and a raging asshole… For the record, minus the best friend part, you do realize you're an asshole, right?"

"That sounds like a nightmare to me," Tucker chimed in. "I mean, two of Church in the same room? Total disaster waiting to happen. Ooh, wait, if there were two of you, which ass was Caboose kissing?"

"Neither, he acted like he was the smartest person in the whole damn room," Church grumbled irritably. He'd been in a foul mood ever since he came back from getting rid of Omega. "And after Omega killed him, Caboose pretty much forgot all about me."

Ah, so that explains why Caboose didn't recognize him and kept calling him different names. "Was that all that happened?" I asked partly out of suspicion. Even if Caboose's mental image of Church was gone, that didn't really explain his new…dimwittedness?

"What do you mean?"

"She means Caboose is acting stupider than normal."

"Probably Omega, then." I narrowed my eyes at his quick deflection, making a mental note to drag the answer out of him when this was over. "Anyway, the only semi-normal one in his head was Hebert."

Tucker leaned in curiously. "You mean, same old same old?"

"Eh, sort of. She insisted we called her 'mother' or she'd bend us over her knee and start smacking our asses."

"Bow-chicka-"

"Lavernius Tucker," I snarled a la Sopha Hess. "Finish that sentence, and so help me, I will shove that sniper rifle up your ass."

"Okay, okay! Tooouchy…"

I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, and slowly counted upwards from ten. I couldn't lash out, it was bad for my health. My…current predicament aside, for better or worse, these guys were my superiors. I was pushing my luck as is, and I really did not want to see what their idea of retribution was.

…though I suppose it would be something stupid, like everything else in this god-forsaken canyon.

"So, where's Tex in all this?"

"Fuck if I know," Church groaned. "I tried to find her after I jumped out of Caboose, but I couldn't find her anywhere! It's like she just upped and vanished. Again." That explained why he was in a foul mood. "Where the hell could she have gone…?"

"It took you a while to come back, maybe it's the same for her? Plus, you were in Caboose's head for a while," Tucker pointed out to him. "Anyway, at least that A.I. is gone. I guess that just leaves the Reds."

"I guess…"

"If that's all, I'm going to check up on Caboose."

Church waved me off, his ghost form flickering as he went about somewhere. Tucker moved on back inside the base to do something. Having spent a month in the base getting to know him and Church, I wisely decided it was better not to get involved with whatever the hell he was up to. I made that mistake one too many times.

Caboose just stood there by the base wall, shifting from foot to foot and humming a tune. It sounded familiar, almost like… No, that can't be. I didn't sing it often or around him. "Hey, Caboose."

"Hi, Mom!" Caboose said happily.

"For the last time, I'm…" I sighed in defeat. This place took so much out of me, it was a miracle I could even muster the strength to get angry at Church for his stupid fucking antics. "I'm never going to get you to stop calling me that, am I?" The blue-armored manchild just stared at me. I had the vaguest sense he looked like a lost little puppy. "I'm never going to get you to stop calling me that, am I?"

"Probably not."

"…alright, fine. Guess I'll have to get used to hearing that until I find a way out of here." Being called mom at the age of 15. What would Dad…

Dad…

I grimaced, grateful my helmet hid my expression from others. I haven't been thinking much about him, so caught up in everything happening around me. At first, I thought about whether there were any alternate versions of him here, but…there wasn't. Vic told me after my first week or so here that there was no Daniel Hebert. There wasn't even an Annette Hebert here, either. It was just me, all by my lonesome. When Vic told me that, I… I felt like my world just collapsed in on itself.

I felt so alone. And I hated it. I hated every minute of that miserable feeling.

And yet…

Does Dad even care I'm gone?

That treacherous thought was always there, lurking somewhere in the back of my head. Ever since mom died, our relationship was distant. He barely even noticed the bullying, only seeing the blotchy stains on my clothes and how many notebooks and backpacks I went through. I knew on some level that distance was my fault; I never told him what happened between me and Emma or anything about the bullying because I thought he couldn't do anything about it. Worse, I thought he might be like the rest of the adults in my life and call me a liar or just look at me with apathy.

That image went against everything I knew and love about Dad, but no matter how hard I try, it's always there. I want to believe Dad is looking for me. I want to believe he still cares…

"Are you okay?"

I don't realize how wet my cheeks are until Caboose's words reach my ears. God, how pathetic was I? "I'm okay," I lied. "I-I don't think the helmet is sealed right. There's dust floating around in my helmet."

"Are you sure? You don't look okay."

"I'm fine, really. It's… It's sweet of you, though. I'm going to check and see what's up with Sheila and Lopez, see how they're doing. Don't do anything weird while I'm gone, okay?"

"Okay!"

God, he acts like such a puppy. It was adorable, almost.

Sheila was parked on the other side of the base, with Lopez doing what I thought was maintenance since her chassis was open and her metal, wired innards were exposed to the elements. The robot was humming something, head bobbing and feet tapping.

"Hey, you two," I greeted and waved as I approached. "Everything okay over here?"

Lopez gave a non-committal grunt, not stopping his hands whatsoever. Sheila was more forthcoming. "Hello, Recruit Hebert!" the tank said cheerily. "Lopez and I are doing fine, thank you for asking. He is currently repairing my motor functions. I sustained some light damage after we assaulted Red Base."

Saying we assaulted them was overstating things, considering all we did was run up to them, yell at them to shut off their radios, and then blast them with god-awful Mexican music. I repressed the "recording session" to the best of my ability. There are some things no human should see. The only good thing I had to say about it was the strange, completely out-of-nowhere dance number Tucker pulled mid-show.

He was quite good, surprisingly. Better than most professional dancers I saw on YouTube, anyway.

"And you're completely fine?" I asked out of concern. I couldn't shake this feeling that something was wrong. "No…software glitches or anything like that? No strange, sudden urge to go SkyNet on us?"

"Oh no, perish the thought. My subroutines explicitly forbid me from watching or replicating the behavior exhibited by homicidal artificial intelligence in any form of media. To answer your question, Recruit Hebert—"

"Just, um, call me Taylor. Hearing you call me by my last name feels really weird."

Sheila bobbed her turret. "Acknowledged. Changing user designation to [TAYLOR]. To answer your question, Taylor, Lopez and I have yet to notice any changes in behavior." The tank paused as if in thought. "Caboose's personality, however, seems to have changed slightly since our return to Blue Base."

"Yeah, we're just gonna blame Church for that one," I shook my head. "So, how are you two feeling?"

"As I said, we—"

I waved my hands. "I mean, how are you two doing? Like, are you bored and want to do something? Want to talk about anything?"

"Nothing comes to mind… No, there is something that bothers me. It concerns Private Church and Private Tucker."

"What about them?"

"I do not feel they appreciate us."

I blinked in surprise. I mean, given how she's been acting up to this point, I knew Sheila must have a sophisticated A.I. or something, but it was still shocking to hear her express such emotion. It was harder to tell with Lopez, what with his robotic monotone and all, but he at least had body language…stiff as it was to read or understand. He was a robot, yes, but it still amazed me how far technology came. And so far, there was no sign or hint of cape involvement. This was just normal human engineering.

I wondered whether Earth Bet would ever reach this level before answering Sheila's concerns. "How do you mean? Like, you think they don't value your efforts more?" I honestly failed to see why. On the one hand, yes, I can understand where Tucker and Church might be concerned. A.I. or no, Sheila is a tank. Tanks are used to gun down opposition. On the other hand, her A.I. was very much human. "I fail to see how. You've blown up Red Team's car so many times now…"

"Church still holds a grudge against me for killing him," Sheila bemoaned.

…oh, right. There was that stupid thing, wasn't there? I still refuse to believe Church is a ghost until proven otherwise.

"…correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Caboose piloting you when Church…you know…?"

"He was. However, Private Church's death is also my responsibility as I disabled friendly fire." Sheila hummed thoughtfully. "I still don't quite understand why that function was disabled. I know someone fiddled with my settings, but my logs from that time are strangely incomplete. I suspect my memory bank was damaged after Red Base's bombardment left me inoperable."

"Wait, you were sabotaged?" Okay, that was pretty important. Who could have messed with Sheila's settings? Could it have been someone from Red Base? Was it Simmons? He struck me as the resident 'tech guy' of Red Team. "By who? No, wait, you just said your memory was damaged. Fuck." I looked at Lopez. "Did anyone from your team mess with Sheila's settings?"

Lopez leaned back, arms stained in grease and black and brown fluids. I sighed as he spoke, reminded of the fact that I still knew zilch about Spanish. "…right, I forgot. You don't speak English. Hang on, let me call Vic…"

It was a miracle how he hadn't gotten tired of me given how often I called him. Seriously, I asked about the most mundane of things, especially regarding my exams… Oh, right. I still need to look into my medical license. Lord only knows those blue morons will just go back to using duct tape.

"Actually," Sheial said suddenly. "If you'd like, Taylor, I can act as Lopez's interpretor."

"You can?!" I grinned under my helmet. "You know Spanish? Oh, thank you so much, Sheila."

"It is my pleasure. Thanks to Rosetta Stone Translation application, I instantly know every foreign human language ever spoken! Sadly, I have no records for alien tongues."

A pregnant silence ensued following her words. A tumbleweed rolled past our feet.

"Hay mucho viento," Lopez commented, ignorant of the twitching eyebrow and throbbing vein on my forehead as I processed that absurd fucking statement.

"…Rosetta Stone," I said in forced calm. "You're installed with Rosetta Stone."

"Yes," Sheila affirmed. "It is standard issue software installation for all smart A.I. …is that a problem?"

I just stared at the tank for a few seconds before dragging a hand down the visor. That bubbling fury was rising to the surface.

Advanced tech, aliens, honest to god space marines, I thought irritably. And even though fucking google is apparently out of style, a fucking tank is the only thing in this motherfucking canyon with a TRANSLATOR! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!

WHY DOES NOTHING IN THIS CANYON MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE?!

The angry female is getting angry again, Lopez thought.

Ever since his "defection" to the Blue Team meatbags, the robot came to understand the similarities between them and his creators and former masters. They were all idiots, for starters. A step-up from the usual idiocy, but not by a large margin. The aqua meatbag was a raging pervert, the default-blue meatbag was a moron, the cyan meatbag annoying and foul-mouthed, and the pacific-blue meatbag… Okay, Lopez couldn't classify her as such. Not when she was actually trying to communicate with him instead of guessing what he was saying.

After Sarge installed the speech unit, the Red Team meatbags kept trying to figure out what he was saying without even actually trying to understand the language. He did ponder whether to install a software patch and switch to English, but thought otherwise when he realized it would serve no purpose and he was given no orders to do so at the time. It was probably for the best, now that Lopez realized it. Conversing with those morons would just degrade his circuits.

The pacific-blue meatbag…Taylor, he remembered. She did not understand the language of Spanish, but she at least had the decency to ask for help in translating him. She was also surprisingly thoughtful, actually asking him how he was doing and if he needed help with anything. Lopez wished she was in Red Team when he was commissioned, if only because she would've made everything more bearable.

The only negative he could say about Private Hebert, Taylor was that she had bottled-up anger. A lot of bottled-up anger. She did her best to suppress it, but he could tell by her body language and shaking hands she was inches away from popping a gasket.

Lopez did not blame her in the least, given what he had to work with.

"For sure, you're really okay?" Taylor asked him kindly. "I mean, after that misunderstanding with Sarge…"

The robot whirred his circuits in mild irritation. Truthfully, he had been disappointed and heartbroken when his creator mistook him for a Blue and attempted to run him down. Now, he realized, he was quite glad to be rid of him. While Sarge gave him entertaining tasks, such as punishing the stupid orange sack of shit named Dexter Grif, he was the worst sort of master to have, not to mention a moron.

Duct tape was not the answer to everything. Duct tape was weak, and in his mechanical, professional opinion, stupid. Gorilla tape was far superior.

"I am fine," Lopez told her, his words translated by Sheila. "My only complaint is Blue Base's sore lack of proper work materials. I had barely any to work with when I brought Sheila back online!"

"Not surprising," Taylor sighed. "I'll see about contacting Vic and requesting supplies. I need to talk to him anyway about my next exam…"

The robot grew curious. "Your Command operator is named Vic as well?"

"As well? Wait, you mean your guys' rep is also a guy named Vic?"

"Yes. He is very annoying." At least based on what he heard from Sarge's frequent transmissions with Command. How that idiot got a job at Command, Lopez had no idea.

"I see… That's a weird coincidence," she muttered under her breathe. She shook her head, gathered on herself, and shifted ever so slightly. "If there's anything you need, let me know, okay? I'm glad neither of you guys got hijacked by Omega."

"It is very fortunate, yes," Sheila concurred. "Hopefully, our efforts to remove him were successful."

"Unless one of the Reds had their radios still on, it should be gone, I think. All five of them shut off their radios, right?"

"Four," Lopez corrected her. "I found only four vital signs in Red Base."

For some reason, Taylor grew alarmed. "Wait, only four? But that's…" Her tone took on a more dreadful tone. "Lopez… Who was in Red base when we got there?"

"Including my creator, there was only Grif, Simmons, and Donut. Four in total."

Lopez got the distinct impression Taylor lost all color in her face. She turned on her heel and ran back towards the base, screaming for Church. The robot looked at his armored crush in confusion. "What was that?"

"Beats me," Sheila replied. "Humans are surprisingly hard to understand…"

I was aiming for 6k words with this, believe it or not. I wanted to involve a confrontation with O'Malley proper...but I decided that in itself, plus other butterflies, deserves to be featured in its own chapter. That decision is partially why this chapter took so long. The other reason is a growing lack of motivation. My muse is starting to run dry, and THERE ARE TOO MANY DAMN VIDEO GAMES COMING OUT! First there's Sonic Frontiers, and then there's God of War: Ragnarok! It really doesn't help I finally got my hands on Sifu, a game I've been dying to play for months.

IRL sucks ass, man.

Anyway, this chapter showcases the first real deviation, though honestly, it's quite minor compared to what I have planned later. And I do mean, later. In the early seasons like BGC, there's not much for Taylor to influence and change beyond how she interacts with certain characters. Now, the Recollection trilogy is slightly different in that regard. You'll understand when and if we ever reach that point.

That's it for now. Cheers everyone.

You guys know the shill by now.

SkyRig · May 1, 2023

#13
Medical Malpractice
(AKA Taylor Experiences First-Aid The Blood Gulch Way)

"What do you mean O'Malley isn't gone?" Church yelled.

I nodded grimly. "Lopez and Sheila said there were only four people at Red Base. There were supposed to be five! DuFresne wasn't there!"

"Who?"

"The medic! Doc!"

"Oooh, yeah, the shitty doctor guy," Tucker recalled. "I was wondering what happened to him. I thought he went back to the Reds."

Church swore angrily. "God dammit, that's why Tex hasn't shown back up yet! The A.I. must have jumped into Doc when Tex and I killed him in Caboose's head!"

"Is that really something to be worried about?" Tucker asked. "I mean, what's one A.I. gonna do? Besides, Doc's pretty harmless. He's only got that weird green-glowing thingie."

"Not the point, Tucker!" Church snapped at him, then rounded on me. "Okay, change in plans! Hebert, take Caboose and Sheila and start searching the perimeter. You see Doc, you shoot him. No questions asked."

A chill ran down my back. "Shoot him? W-why? Wouldn't it just be better to tie him up?"

"I am not taking any chances with this. You have your orders, Private. Now get to it!"

Really? He was choosing now of all times to want to kill someone?

"…fine," I bit out, turning on my heel and leaving. I heard Tucker getting into some kind of argument with Church as I left. What about, I didn't know nor care. If Church thought I was going to kill someone, he was clearly delusional. I'm not a soldier. I'm not even part of this freaking army. Why would I need to do something I don't want to?

No, the better idea here is to just detain DuFresne. Caboose is strong enough to hold him down, and I'm sure we still have some leftover Gorilla tape to bind him. I just need to convince Sheila and Caboose to follow my lead. Caboose shouldn't be too much of a problem, but the tank…

I'm well aware she's just a computer program, but she has thoughts and feelings. Same as Lopez. She may as well be her own person. I don't want to force her to do anything. Speaking of Lopez, I'll have to find a way to convince Church not to possess Lopez again. I'm sure the robot will appreciate it.

I found Church waiting over by Sheila, doing some light maintenance. Or at least I hoped it was maintenance.

"Hey, Caboose," I waved.

Caboose stopped what he was doing and looked up from Sheila's internal circuitry. "Hi, Mom!"

"Hola," Lopez greeted me half-heartedly.

Sheila bobbed her turret. "Hello, Taylor. Is something the matter? You seem…distressed."

"That's one word for it…"

I explained the situation to them; how DuFresne might have the Omega A.I. stuck in his head, how Church wants him gone, and how I want to simply restrain him.

"Oh my. That does sound serious."

"I don't want him to die," I said somberly. "All we have to do is keep our radios off, and there shouldn't be any real problems. I hope, at least." And now for the hard part. "Sheila, um, I know you're still in the middle of being repaired, but are you well enough to help? I can fib to Church and say Lopez is still giving you a look over."

I'm not entirely sure why, but for some reason, Lopez was flustered and saying something in Spanish that Sheila chose not to translate.

"Can I help?" Caboose asked innocently.

"Yes, Caboose. Just, erm… Don't get too enthusiastic about helping, please?"

"Okay!"

"I am able to assist," Sheila said. "I do not mind helping!"

I sighed with relief. Convincing Sheila turned out to be easy. As for Lopez…

"Did you want to come along?" I asked the robot. Sadly, Lopez shook his head and replied in the negative. "You sure?"

"I'm sure," Sheila translated. "Though if you see my creators while you're out there… Feel free to run them over."

Well, he's certainly not bitter about what happened…

Our patrol across Blood Gulch was uneventful by the time we reached the "border" between Blue Base and Red Base. There was no sign of the Reds whatsoever, which was kind of a good thing. I didn't want to deal with them at the moment, especially when O'Malley was still running around.

Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect. Caboose was…okay, he had his moodswings, but otherwise, he was a lovable dork most of the time. I had no idea what to expect from DuFresne being possessed, but I was half certain it was not anything good.

"See anything, Sheila?" I asked from outside the cockpit. Caboose was the only one in the army who knew how to drive, so it made sense for him to ride shotgun in Sheila.

"I do not detect any hostile threats in the viscinity," the tank replied.

"Alright, then. Keep looking."

"Hey, Mom?" Caboose suddenly spoke up. "What do we do when we find doc?"

I…wasn't completely sure, to be honest. Ideally, the best thing to do is contact Vic, let him know we have a compromised soldier running around with a murderous A.I. riding shotgun in his head, but that required using the radio. I didn't want DuFresne to die just because of the A.I., so keeping him away from Church was top priority.

There had to be some kind of way to remove the A.I. from DuFresne without Church or Tex. If I remember right, Church mentioned that their armor had slots for A.I. to occupy. Assuming the A.I. wasn't just stuck inside his head, we would just have to…eugh…strip DuFresne, then restrain him.

Easy enough, or so I thought.

"We find him, we tie him up, then hand him over to Command," I told him. "Why?"

"Won't Church get mad?"

"What Church doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Church is gonna get maaad…"

I snorted. "Sounds like a Church problem, then."

Our patrol eventually reached the northwestern side, where I first met the Reds and Blues. The high clifftops stared down almost mockingly at me. I glared back in turn, thinking how I got here. I still don't quite understand how I ended up in Blood Gulch. I'm almost positive a parahuman was involved, but for the life of me, I couldn't understand why. What could have happened? Was Sophia a cape and decided to one-up herself? Did a cape attack the school and transport everyone they came across to parts unknown? Each theory I came up with sounded more outlandish than the last.

I wanted to believe that, maybe, I had powers of my own, but that was stupid. There was no way I was a cape.

"Taylor?" Sheila's voice called out to me, knocking me out of my thoughts. "Is everything alright? You have been quiet for the last ten minutes. Is something bothering you?"

"I'm fine," I lied. "Just…thinking is all." I took a quick look around the area. I didn't find any sign of the Reds. "Okay… Caboose, you come with me for a bit. Sheila, do you have an auto-pilot mode?'

"Affirmative."

"Okay, switch to that. If you see the Reds, just…scare them off with a few shells. And if you see DuFresne, just…try not to hurt him too badly?"

"Affirmative."

Caboose hopped out of the cockpit and joined me as we ventured into the clifftops. I hadn't really had a good chance to explore the gulch in its entirety, so there was no telling what sorts of hiding places there were. I knew of one place, at least. The cave system where I woke up was as safe a bet as any.

"Are we there yet?"

"Almost, Caboose," I sighed. "Just keep an eye out for DuFresne, okay?"

"Okay! ………are we there yet?"

Lord help me…

We did not have to venture in very far into the caves. We found DuFresne quickly. The purple-clad "medic" was lying prone on the ground as if passed out. Next to him was…something. It was metal and purple, with a seat and handle bars in the center. It looked like a bike, but it wasn't anything I saw before. I had half a mind to think it was tinker tech.

"Found him!" Caboose yelled. His voice bounced off the walls of the cave, creating an echo.

"Why is he passed out?" I wondered aloud with a frown. He didn't look to be injured. Aside from the dust and grime on his armor, he looked fine. Maybe the A.I. did something to him? I shook my head and focused. I pulled the Gorilla tape from my pouch, handing one roll to Caboose. "Wrap this around his ankles. I'll handle the wrists."

"Okay, Mom!"

I walked over to DuFresne, gently rolling him onto his back. His orange visor stared back impassively. I reached for his wrists—

"No touching."

DuFresne's voice was cold and harsh, almost guttural. He snatched my wrist, yanked me forward, and slammed his helmet into mine. The exchange caused my head to rattle, bouncing off the insides of my helm. Caboose cried out in concern, yelling "Mom!" right as something grabbed me by the neck and threw me toward him. Our bodies collided, becoming a pile of tangled limbs.

"Owwie…" Caboose murmured under me.

"Oh, gosh, I am so sorry about that," DuFresne stammered behind us. "I-I don't know what came over me. I just…"

"I just want you all to taste oblivion!" O'Malley cackled.

"…we're in trouble, aren't we?" I groaned in response to Caboose's question.

Why can't things be simple…?

Hey everyone. Been a while. I'll be honest, I didn't think I was gonna make my deadline considering I ended up getting sick the day I made that post. Worse, this freaking cough won't go away. It's really inconvenient too because A) drafting for Chase Ryder Part II is finally done and the first chapter is written, and B) the Xenoblade Chronicles 3 DLC Story Expansion dropped a couple days ago. Which sucks because at the time of this writing, I still haven't beaten the game.

Anywho, trying my best to make these chapters much longer as we approach the meatier bits and have Taylor be more…well, Taylor without any Earth Bet angst looming too much over her head.

At any rate… Enjoy the raging insanity!

SkyRig · May 1, 2023

#14:
The First Ripples
(AKA Taylor Kick Canon In The Gonads)

Church wasn't sure what to expect when Sheila returned from patrol with only Caboose, or how the pink-armored soldier who killed Tex was actually some dude. There was no sign of Taylor, which raised several alarm bells already.

Then Caboose gave him the report. Naturally, he swore up a storm.

"So, this is pretty bad, huh?" Tucker remarked awkwardly.

"Pretty bad? Pretty bad?" Church growled. "How about really fucking bad? Of all the pig-headed, stupid, idiotic things that stupid girl could've done!"

Taylor followed her orders, but not to the letter. Honestly, he should have realized it. He kept forgetting that Taylor wasn't a soldier. She was a civilian who led a normal life before getting dumped in Blood Gulch. Asking her to kill someone was like asking her to cut open her hand with a knife for no reason at all. Because he failed to remember this fact, Taylor was now in the hands of a crazed doctor.

They tried to apprehend Doc instead of killing him, which proved to be the worst mistake she could have made. Just as they suspected, O'Malley had taken up residence inside Doc's head, only instead of being a mood-swinging idiot like Caboose, the A.I. had much better control over the so-called medic. Then again, Doc did seem like the wet blanket type, so it was possible he just folded and didn't try to resist Omega.

Between that and Taylor's lack of experience, O'Malley easily captured her. Why he left Caboose alone, Church did not know. He supposed it was a good thing since it allowed Caboose to inform them of Taylor's kidnapping. That said, he wished the A.I. killed the idiot. For reasons that he didn't need to explain.

"So, what do we do?" Tucker asked. "We're not just gonna leave her, are we?"

Church wasn't surprised Tucker was worried about the angsty teenage girl. At first, he thought his co-worker was into jailbait (seriously, a girl that tall could not be fifteen), but it turned out Tucker genuinely cared for the girl's wellbeing. A little weird, but far be it for him to judge. Still, Tucker's concerns were valid. Hell, Church found himself growing a little attached to the girl, even if she could be a bitch.

"We won't, assuming O'Malley hasn't used her for target practice," Church told him. "Caboose, did O'Malley say what he wanted in exchange for us getting Hebert back?"

"Oh, um, the mean doctor person said he wanted the robot."

Church stared. "He wants who?"

"Why the heck would he want Lopez?" Tucker questioned. "I don't think anyone other than Sheila knows what the hell he says."

"Maybe he wants Lopez to repair something for him," Church surmised. "But what?"

"…uuum, Church?"

"Maybe he wants to build his own personal robot army?" Tucker offered. "I mean, isn't that, like, the first thing evil supervillains do in comics? Build an army?"

"Nah, no way. He's an A.I. I don't think he'd do something really stupid and cliché like that."

"Um, Church? You, uh, might want to turn around."

"He also possessed Caboose. I'm pretty sure he lost, like, half his digital braincells."

"Touché. But if he has Lopez build his army, wouldn't they all be speaking in Spanish too? How would he even get them to…"

"Church," Caboose called out again with urgency. "We have a problem."

Oh, for fuck's sake! Church threw mental hands into the air and whirled around on Caboose, just about ready to choke the life out of him. "WHAT?! What is so goddamn important that you…"

A shotgun stared down his visor. "Put your hands in the air, Blue scum! I hope you have your wallet on ya, because the rent in hell gets paid in advance!"

"Oh, how the hell are you even here?!"

Church glared in Sheila and Caboose's direction. The latter looked down dejectedly while the tank…okay, he had no idea what the hell he was even supposed to be looking at, but he assumed she was feiling guilty. Or maybe she wasn't' and was secretly laughing about his new predicament.

"Hey, Sarge!" Simmons called out from the other side of the base. "I found Lopez! I think! He's all covered in blue!"

"Nicely done, Simmons!" Sarge shouted back. "Bring him back to Red Base, and get him debriefed! Now, if you'll excuse me…" He pumped his shotgun, aiming it square in Church's helmet. "I have Red Justice to dispense!"

Tucker groaned. "Caboose, why didn't you say anything?"

"He did say something," Sheila interjected. "You two refused to listen."

"And why, exactly, are you not blowing them up?" Church growled.

"I attempted to do so, but it would seem all my mortar shells have been dispensed. I'm terribly sorry."

"Oh, for fuck's sake…"

"You know, this was a lot easier than I thought it'd be," Grif commented. He was the only Red not doing anything other than lounging against the side of the base, his gun nowhere on his person. "Maybe it's payback for all the times you assholes blew up our jeep."

Church scoffed. "That was your own damn fault. Also, we really don't have time for this crap."

"Yeah, so if you assholes could hurry this up so we can rescue Taylor, that'd be great."

The pink-armored soldier cocked their head. "Oh, is that the civilian you guys recruited?"

Oh, holy shit, it really was a dude. Church almost wanted to laugh. He never thought he'd see the day when someone willingly put on pink armor. Or maybe the poor guy lost a bet and didn't have much choice. Maybe Tex would be less inclined to beat the shit out of him. Or maybe not. It was hard to tell with her.

Speaking of, where the hell was she? If Omega was still up and running, Texas would be around somewhere too.

"God dammit, you are a guy," Tucker groaned, obviously disappointed. "I was seriously hoping you were a chick. It really is a fucking sausage fest in this canyon!"

Grif sighed. "Tell me about it."

"What about Tex?" Caboose asked.

"Puh-lease. She's no chick. She's half shark and half silverback gorilla on steroids!"

"You are so lucky Tex isn't here to hear you say that," Church remarked.

"Hey!" Sarge snapped. "Do you idjits not see my shotgun?! In case you haven't realized it, you are outnumbered and outgunned! We have the advantage! Now hands behind your—OHGEEGABABUCKA!" The red army leader cried out in gibberish, collapsing to the ground in an unmoving heap. Above him stood Lopez, holding a rifle as though it were a baseball bat. Behind him was a badly beaten Simmons if the dents in his armor were any indication.

Grif and Donut were startled. "Lopez!" the latter stammered in confusion. "What are you doing?! That's Sarge!"

"Cierra la puta boca," Lopez said. "Idiotas intentaron matarme. Al menos estas bolsas de carne son decentes." The robot leaned down and picked up the shotgun, disassembling it in record time. "Bien, entonces, ¿dónde está la mujer enojada?"

"You do realize none of us still don't know any Spanish, right?" Grif asked.

Church sighed, resisting the urge to facepalm his helmet. "Give me a break…"

Thanks to Lopez subduing Sarge and Simmons, apprehending the Reds proved an easy affair. Grif gave up on the spot while Donut was easily cowtowed when the two more combat capable members of Red Team were defeated. Their weapons were taken from them, leaving them defenseless. Caboose and Sheila stood guard, though just to be on the safe side, Church told Caboose to "help" the Reds in case they needed anything.

Church hoped they would die by way of Caboose, but it was wishful thinking.

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Grif began after Tucker explained the situation to them. "That medic guy who showed up here is being possessed by some crazy A.I. that belonged to your bitch of an ex, and kidnapped Taylor."

"Yep," Church said, popping the 'p' for emphasis. "And he wants your robot buddy in exchange for her safety."

"What does he want Lopez for? He can't build an evil army all by himself?"

"Knowing our luck, they'd all probably speak in Spanish," Simmons sighed.

Lopez huffed. "Oh por favor. Los robots son superiores a ustedes, bolsas de carne."

"Hey now, Lopez!" Donut exclaimed. "That's rude! Just because Grif is a little overweight…"

"Wait, you understand him?" Church asked in surprise.

The pink-armored soldier nodded. "Yep! I took high school Spanish!"

"No, no lo hiciste," Lopez said before sighing. "Ya extraño a la mujer enojada..."

"And you're telling us all this, why?" Simmons asked suspiciously. "I can understand wanting to look after Taylor, but what's this got to do with us?"

"Besides the fact we have you hostage?" Church pointed out to him. Sarge grumbled something under his breathe, no doubt some sort of insult or disparaging remark against him. "Look, as much as I'd love to just kick your guys' ass and take your flag, the fact is this A.I. is really fucking dangerous, even if it is inside the head of a quack medic. So here's how this is gonna go. You idiots are going to help us."

"How?"

"First, you're gonna build two robots."

"What the heck do we need robots for?" Tucker asked. "We already have Lopez, don't we?"

"I mean for me and Tex," Church explained irately. "I don't want her stealing from me again. You build us those robots and help us rescue Hebert, and you guys can go along your mosey little way…and then we can resume kicking the shit out of each other."

"And what do we get?" Grif asked.

Church and Tucker shared a look, then turned back to the Reds. "Well, what do you guys want?"

"…hold on a sec."

The Reds huddled around each other and began whispering. While Church couldn't quite make out what they were saying, he heard a few suggestions being thrown around, the most frequent being "lasers and robots". Not sure why, but Church heard worse. Actually, laser-shooting robots sounded cool. Maybe he could convince the Reds to outfit his new robot body with a laser-shooter in the face? That would be awesome.

After a minute or so of talking, the Reds separated. "Alright, Blue," Sarge said. "We talked it over and figured out what we wanted."

"Alright, what do you want?"

Sarge told him. Church's reaction was to just stare at the soldier and ponder whether or not to shove his sniper rifle up his ass.

A Reds and Blues focused chapter, and showing off the first small changes Taylor's presence is causing in Blood Gulch. They'll be pretty minor, but just wide-reaching enough to make sure I'm not simply just implanting her in the story without causing some sort of change.

I also decided to keep the chapters relatively short, at least for the Blood Gulch Chronicles story. Once we hit the story of Season 6 and up, chapters will no doubt be much longer to reflect how serious the story will get.

On a side note, the next chapter of Perdition will be coming soon. That thing has taken long enough. For those who need a refresher because it's been so long, Perdition is a Post-GM/SWTOR story where Taylor reincarnates as the Sith Inquisitor.

SkyRig · May 24, 2023

#15:
Incoming Ham
(AKA Taylor Becomes A Damsel. She Doesn't Like It.)

"I am so sorry about this," DuFresne apologized for what seemed like the thousandth time in the span of an hour. "I'm trying to hold him back, I really am, but he's just so…"

I nodded in understanding, looking at the *medic* empathetically. If we were on Earth Bet, DuFresne would be sitting in a tailor-made cell for Master victims. There were all kinds of horror stories about Simurgh victims, and far too many real for her liking. I remembered hearing of a Master incident on the news a while back. A famous parahuman singer who tried to make her ex-boyfriend kill himself. Canary, I think her name was.

As much as I hated DuFresne for binding my mouth and hands, I hated myself more at the moment. What happened to the poor man was my fault. I should have noticed he wasn't there at Red Base. Because of my screw-up, he had a psychotic A.I. stuck in his head.

If there was one nice thing to say about Omega, it was that he allowed DuFresne a modicum of freedom. He did not totally dominate the *medic* totally, giving him limited control over his body.

"Um, you didn't get hurt too badly, did you?"

I shook my head. It was irksome having your mouth gagged, but it was hardly the worst I've experienced. Nothing could top the locker. Honestly, considering what I was up against, I was surprised I didn't have broken bones or fractures. The armor was very sturdy, but again, it was the sort of stuff a tinker could build. Well, that and DuFresne was a terrible fighter, possessed by Skynet 2.0 or no.

"Shame," Omega drawled acridly. "I was hoping she'd be whimpering in pain."

"O'Malley, don't be rude!" DuFresne chastised as if the homicidal A.I. was a child.

"You fool, be quiet!"

I groaned under the gag. When you get kidnapped by a poor excuse of a medical officer who is possessed by an A.I., you had expectations. I expected Omega to be like the A.I. conspiracy theory nutjobs on the interwebs and that Saint guy from PHO raved about day after day, or Skynet from those trashy Terminator movies (the Earth Bet versions; the Aleph movies were good). Instead, he was…cartoony. Laughing in a nasally voice while trying and failing to imitate some high-class James Bond villain.

Then again, what else did I expect from Blood Gulch?

"Why do you want Lopez anyway?" DuFresne asked suddenly. It was a question that had been on both of our minds for a while. "Actually, who is Lopez anyway?"

"Red team's robot," I said through the gag.

"Uh, what?"

"It's the robot from Red Team," Omega repeated with a groan. "As for why I need him, how else am I to build my evil robot army?"

Oh, for fuck's sake. Really?! God, what is this? A Saturday morning cartoon show?!

"Let me get this straight," Church began slowly as he tried to wrap his head around what Red Team demanded in exchange for their cooperation. "You want Hebert on your team for a month."

"Fuck that!" Tucker yelled angrily. "What the hell do you want with her anyway?"

Simmons sighed. "Sarge is convinced you guys brainwashed her, so he wants to rehabilitate her."

"Personally, I think he's off his rocker," Griff added. "And maybe a few screws loose. Or hell, maybe he just likes younger girls."

"Griff!"

"What? I'm just throwing it out there."

"Yeah, well tell your Sarge if he lays a finger on her, the sniper rifle is going straight up his—"

"Tucker!"

His colleague was understandably pissed, but now was hardly the time to be throwing a bitch fit. Church understood why Tucker was angry and shared his feelings on the matter. It never occurred to him the older red soldier might be interested in jailbait, and while he cared very little for his "recruit", she was still part of Blue Team. If Sarge had any weird ideas, there would be long talks involving bullets and maybe threat of death by Texas. Assuming he found her within the next fifteen minutes.

"Or maybe Sarge just wants some extra hands to help around the base," the pink-armored soldier offered cheerily.

Church sighed to himself. Donut was another thing, albeit for an entirely different reason. He wasn't sure what to expect, but a guy willingly wearing pink armor ("It's not pink! It's light-ish red!") was not one of them. He wasn't sure if Texas was going to have a field day or just follow up on her promise to kill the guy for blowing her up in Sheila's cockpit.

In any case, Red Team's demands were clear. They wanted Taylor for a month. What was he to do? Agree? Deny them? They needed the support. There was no telling what O'Malley was capable of.

"…tell you what," he decided after a moment of thinking. "Taylor gets to decide what'll happen when we rescue her. That sound like a plan?"

Simmons and Grif looked at each other, then back at Church. "Deal," the orange fatass said. "So, what's the plan anyhow? We just go in guns blazing?"

"We don't even know where they are," Simmons pointed out.

"O'Malley said to meet him in the middle of the canyon at 1800 hours."

"1800 hours?" Tucker repeated. "When the heck is that?"

"Hell if I know. What makes you think I know military?"

"Is it local or pacific standard?"

"The fuck?" Simmons couldn't help but chime in. "Who even uses Pacific Standard time anymore?"

He got the feeling that, somewhere in the canyon, Taylor was having another rage-induced aneurism.

"Keep it still, will ya?" Sarge asked gruffly as he put on the finishing touches. When he felt the leg wobble, he raised his voice. "I said, keep it still! What part of that is so hard to understand?"

"Sorry," Caboose apologized. "It is very hard to keep your friend upright while he is trying to grab me."

Sarge raised an eyebrow under his helmet and looked up. Robot #2 was flailing its arms about, making grabbing motions with its hands while swinging them at Caboose, who did his best to hold the robot upright while the Red Team commander finished making some final adjustments and attaching the leg to the groin. As part of the agreement with the Blues in exchange for saving Taylor from O'Malley (or was it Omega? Stupid name. Who in Sam Hill calls himself Omega?), they had to provide the ghostly soldier two robots.

He wasn't sure why they needed two robots when one would have clearly sufficed. Perhaps they simply got used to having Lopez around and decided they needed an extra mechanical buddy when Lopez inevitably returned. While Sarge still could not understand a lick of what he said, he knew deep down Lopez would return to the Reds, and he'd be the first to welcome the robot back with open arms. After he got done fixing whatever faulty programming led him to siding with the Blues in the first place, of course.

Spending a couple hours with the Blues proved begrudgingly enlightening, for the most part. It gave him an up close examination of their personnel, and immediately knew something wasn't right. For starters, their intel was way off. Excluding Lopez and Taylor, who were forcibly recruited into their ranks, there were supposed to be four soldiers. Their captain, Butch Flowers, was nowhere to be found. He had been missing in action for several months now, but Sarge assumed he was out on a recon mission, and there was no intercepted transmissions of him being reassigned elsewhere.

He didn't question the Blues, knowing they'd make up some dumb lie or something, but the absence of Captain Flowers proved an unexpected boon. That man was perhaps the sole Blue-colored soldier in existence Sarge dared to respect. Ever since their assignment in Blood Gulch, Blue Team repelled their assaults time and time again, and Captain Flowers proved an exceptionally good shot. Sarge lost count how many times his shotgun had been sniped out of his hands.

If he was gone, then Red Team finally had the advantage they needed. For now, he would simply bide his time and wait for the golden opportunity. First things first, he needed to focus. The rescue operation would not succeed on its own.

"A little lower down. Ooh, thanks! Man, that spot has been bugging me for weeks!"

Sarge frowned and looked up. He blinked at the strange sight of Robot #2 strangling Caboose, but the blue didn't seem fazed by it at all. If anything, he seemed happy, oddly comparing the choking to a neck massage.

That boy ain't right, Sarge thought before going back to work. Alright, where's that wiretap thingamajig?

A bit on the short side. Sorry about that. I really couldn't find a good way to cap this chapter. Next chapter should be a little more meaty, I think. I think my excitement for this fanfic is starting to taper off, which is a little annoying considering we're nowhere near the good stuff.

If you guys want to help support me financially, consider becoming a subscriber to my p a treon. It's only ten bucks a month, but I currently have no content up there yet. Cascade is still very much a work in progress. I'm also happy to receive a pledge, but keep it reasonable please. I know I'm a bit tight on cash, but I don't want people wasting so much money. Alternatively, if you want to support me and want to read more of my work, consider buying my book Chase Ryder and the City of Lost Memories over on Amazon. I recommend kindle and paperback, which are the cheapest options.

On an unrelated note, the Playstation Showcase wrapped up right as I type this out. As a Destiny fan, my hype is through the rough just from seeing Cayde-6 for the upcoming expansion. Then we Marvel's Spider Man 2, which has made me even more excited just from seeing the Black Suit alone. SO FUCKING DOOOOPE!

SkyRig · Jun 9, 2023

#16:
Rescue Mission
(AKA Taylor Never Wants To Be Rescued Ever Again)

Two hours. That was how long I spent with this loon. Two hours of listening to him monologue and argue with DuFresne, who was surprisingly growing used to being controlled by a homicidal computer program. It was surreal and stupid, in all honesty. I never thought I would miss Earth Bet and all its problems, but here we are.

Were it not for the armor, I had little doubt I would be baking under the hot sun right now. I could see the air warble and waft like a mirage. Omega tapped his foot impatiently next to me, looking over the horizon. The Reds and Blues were supposed to have been here half an hour ago. It was yet another reminder that, for all the signs around me, I was in some weird world cooked up by Douglas Adams.

"I bet Arthur Dent never had to put up with this crap," I muttered sourly under my breath. Omega didn't seem to hear me, which was a plus. He really liked the sound of his own voice.

"You, um, don't think they forgot about us, do you?" DuFresne asked nervously.

I wanted to say they didn't, but then I remembered who I had no choice but to rely on to rescue us. The words died in my throat long before they reached my lips. "Knowing Church?" I scoffed. "He probably thought it was too much of a hassle."

"What is taking these fools so long?!" Omega growled, tapping his foot even faster. "If they don't hurry up, I'll sentence them all to oblivion!"

"Why is it you resort to violence first?" DuFresne asked. "I mean, whatever happened to hashing things out? You know, find common ground."

"What common ground? And since when has talking things out ever worked?!" Omega snarked, no doubt rolling his eyes under his helmet. "It's better just to make things explode or punch their mouth out."

I sighed and shook my head, wondering if this was how I was going to die. I know I should be panicking at the prospect of death, if not torture, but at that point in time, I couldn't muster the energy. Honestly, I was sure I wasn't going to die if only because of Omega's incompetence.

Minutes later, the Reds and Blues arrived. Sheila came into view on the horizon. Riding atop her chassis were the colorful idiot soldiers I've come to know within the past month or so. I couldn't see who controlled Sheila through the cockpit, not until the soldiers disembarked and climbed off the sentient tank.

"About time," Omega grunted. "What took you all so long?!"

"I wasn't aware we were supposed to be on time!" Church called back mockingly, making the A.I. simmer in anger. "More importantly, how's my recruit?"

"Still alive, asshole! Thanks for asking!"

"Somebody's pissed," Grif muttered.

Simmons smacked him upside the helmet. "Can you blame her? We were supposed to be here half an hour ago! We would have gotten here sooner if somebody hadn't gummed up the tank's tracts!"

"Why are you looking at me?"

"How else do you explain the mayonnaise?!"

"Wait, is that what happened to them?" Tucker suddenly asked. "I was wondering if we just misplaced 'em… Hey, wait a second. There were, like, over a hundred jars. Did you seriously drain them all? What'd you use 'em with, butter and bread?"

"Please," Grif scoffed. "What are we, cavemen?"

I felt the vein above my eyebrow throb. Calm down, Taylor. Just think about punching Sophia. Think about punching Sophia…

"Lo siento por el gordo," Lopez said. "Es tonto y feo. Y muy difícil de trabajar."

"Still can't understand a word you're saying Lopez," Sarge grunted before calling out to Omega. "Alright, we're!"

"So I see!" Omega cackled. "You're late, but I'll let it slide. This time. Now, here's how this is going to work!"

"Hold on just a second! We need to talk about conditions first!"

"What?!" Omega sounded scandelized. I realized immediately what Sarge was going for as I noticed Church conspicuously absent. A small glint of light flickered behind Sheila. "What do you mean conditions! It's simple! I give you the girl, you give me the robot!"

"Which robot?" Sarge asked cheekily as he gestured to the blue and black-armored soldiers behind him. "We've got three! Lopez, Robot #2, and Francisco Montegue Zanzibar!"

Why would you build two more? I wondered in confusion before remembering Church and Texas required bodies to inhabit. Church probably got the Reds to agree to help them through some kind of stupid deal, making them build two robots in exchange for something, maybe a favor or to say something humiliating like what Grif had to do a couple days ago when Blue Team 'surrendered'.

"Why do you have…?" Omega started before shaking his head. "No, I just need Lopez! …Wait. Why is that last one named differently?"

Oh, that's the thing you picked up on?!

The aforementioned robot let out a series of beeps and noises, which for some reason sounded very much like, "Suck it, cocksucker."

I've been in this canyon way too long…

"More importantly, how about we talk features?" Sarge continued cheerily. "Like, you want Lopez, right? How do you want him?"

"I—what? I want him intact!"

"Like arms and legs?"

"Of course, moron!"

"Arms and legs are optional!"

"What! That doesn't even—why would—" Omega sputtered in confusion and genuine bewilderment.

As 'negotiations' continued, Sarge very obviously stalling for time and Omega gradually growing more and more irate, I noticed that Church was absent. He was not among the Reds and Blues. Where had he—

I felt an odd sensation wash over me, as if someone put a thin film of plastic wrap over my body. Hey, Hebert, a gratingly-familiar voice echoed through my head. How are you holding up?

Church? How are you…?

I jumped inside body while Sarge's got this guy talking, he explained to me. Don't say anything or do anything that might make him suspicious. Basically, the plan is for me to hop inside Doc and distract O'Malley—

I couldn't help but correct him. You mean Omega.

Y-yeah, yeah, whatever, Church scoffed. I'll distract him, then you make a run for it. Then Caboose and Sheila blow Doc to kingdom come.

I felt a chill run down my spine. You can't be serious, I protested immediately. That'll kill DuFresne!

And its our best chance at getting rid of O'Malley, Church retorted. Everyone's got their radios turned off.

Logically, I saw where he was coming from. If we dealt with Omega now, he was unlikely to come back. What was the cost of a single measley soldier, if DuFresne could be called that, much less a proper medical officer? I knew that, but that did not change the fact that DuFresne was innocent. He did not ask to be possessed by a homicidal A.I. nor become its hostage. He was a genuinely good person, even if he did choose a questionable business practice.

It was wrong.

No, I'm not going to let you do this, I retorted immediately. We are not killing DuFresne.

I felt Church's irritation broil. Well, what the hell do you suggest then? Shove him inside your head?

Why not?

The idea of having Omega in my head and in control of my body did not sit well with me. Even I thought it was a bad fucking idea, but it was not like there was much Omega could do with my body. I was a beanpole of a girl with no muscle. What was the worst he could do? Make me PMS?

Which sounds better to you, shove him in the head of a useless teenage girl, or a poor excuse of a doctor who has a gun?

Church was silent for a few seconds before grumbling. …okay, fine. We'll try it your way, then. I'll hop inside Doc's head like we planned. Just… Just try to keep him busy, alright?

I'll do my best, I thought back with visible relief. I did not want to live with the idea that DuFresne died because of my stupidity.

I saw Church's translucent form shimmer into existence behind me, carefully sneaking out of Omega's peripheral view as the purple-armored soldier was a hair's width away from blowing a gasket. "Enough of this idiocy! I've made it quite clear by now that I want Lopez! Intact! Arms, legs, everything! I see so much as a screw missing from him, the girl will face oblivion!"

"Um, excuse me, but when you say oblivion," the pink-armored soldier started curiously. "On a scale from one to ten, how mad are we talking? Like a bruise bad or missing limb bad?"

"The fuck he is!" Tucker yelled out angrily, much to my surprise. This was different from the times I saw him angry. He was annoyed, irritated mostly at Church's general attitude or dismissal, but this was not annoyance or irritation. He was very angry. "Church, do it now!"

"What? What are you—" That was far as Omega got before Church dove into DuFresne's body. "Hgrgrgrk!"

"Hey, Hebert!" Grif shouted. "Move it now!"

"Caboose! Church needs some help now!"

"Okay!"

I paled, now realizing Caboose was inside Sheila's cockpit. "Nonono, wait, Caboose!" I moved to shield DuFresne as he spasmed and trembled. The Reds and Blues panicked, scrambling and yelling at Caboose to stop.

The last words I heard before the tank opened fire were, "Firing main cannon."

Grif felt his stomach lurch in horror. A memory flashed through his head, of finding Kakaina somehow under a thin sheet of ice and pounding against the barrier between her and her brother. He looked back at the incident with mixed emotions as it was one of the bizarre times when she somehow found herself pregnant, but not at this moment. Instead, he thought of how horrified and scared he'd been, wondering if he was about to lose his sister.

The smoke cleared. Taylor was lying on her side, helmet half-hanging on half-demolished. The visor was cracked to pieces, bits having already fallen off. Dark locks of hair cascaded down her face, stuck to her skin by the red liquid pouring down her temple and cheek. O'Malley was lying flat on his back, unmoving and maybe dead.

"FUCK!"

Tucker rushed to her first, followed by Grif and Simmons. The aqua soldier removed her helmet and gently took her into his arms. He pressed his fingers on her neck, searching for a pulse.

"Sh-she's fine," Tucker wheezed. "Oh thank fucking Christ."

"Sheila must have lowered her arm at the last second," Simmons realized. "Oh, man… This is gonna shave years off my lifespan."

"I thought the plan was for Church to take him over and for Taylor to get away?" Grif asked with a frown.

Tucker nodded, similarly confused and irritated. The three soldiers were more irritated with Caboose at the moment, however, Tucker especially judging by the way he was reaching for his handgun.

Before they could give the Blue absolute hell, however—

"Yipe!"

Simmons cried in panic as he was suddenly lifted off the ground and thrown several feet away. Grif whirled around, ready to tacke and sit on whoever attacked them when a hand seized his throat in a vice grip.

O'Malley's visor glared him down as he spoke like a demon from the bowels of Hell. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE YOU ARE IN."

"Oh, shi—"

That was as far as Grif got before a fist layed him flat on the ground and seeing stars, vision flickering between black and blurry. He heard sounds of a struggle around him, angry shouts and gunfire. He felt the earth quake from under him. As he clung to consciousness, desperately fighting to stay awake, he rolled onto his side to try and find Taylor and hopefully drag her away from all this.

He found O'Malley limping away, a half-broken robot dragging behind him with one hand and the other holding a girl with long hair.

"K-Kai…"

Grif's eyes rolled to the back of his head and succumbed to unconsciousness.

So, first off, that job interview I mentioned? Yeah, I'm not going into that shitshow. Thinking about it pisses me off. On the plus side, I have lots of room to write now. Speaking of, sorry about the delay! Etrian Odyssey Origins Collection came out not too long ago and I've been playing it like crazy. I wish they gave us the Untold remakes plus an Untold remake for the third game, but since the third game is literally the only Etrian Odyssey game I don't own, I'll take what I can get.

Also, this document was a nuisance to write. For some reason, after I copy and pasted what Lopez said from Google Translate to here, my spell check thing switched to Spanish, so it flagged everything I wrote afterward as wrong and insisted on changing everything to Spanish. It was a little annoying, to be honest.

If you guys want to help support me financially, consider becoming a subscriber to my p a treon. It's only ten bucks a month, but I currently have no content up there yet. Cascade is still very much a work in progress. I'm also happy to receive a pledge, but keep it reasonable please. I know I'm a bit tight on cash, but I don't want people wasting so much money. Alternatively, if you want to support me and want to read more of my work, consider buying my book Chase Ryder and the City of Lost Memories over on Amazon. I recommend kindle and paperback, which are the cheapest options.

With this chapter, we officially conclude Season 2 of the Blood Gulch Chronicles and enter Season 3. It's going to be fun watching Taylor react to the "time travel" shenanigans, even though they really didn't travel back in time. Moreso in her case, though you'll have to read and find out for more about that.

This'll be the last chapter I write for this story for a while now that we've wrapped up Season 2. Don't worry, I'm not giving up on this fanfic so soon, but I do want to finish Devil Trigger and finish writing my second book.

So, yeah, my only planned update for the rest of the foreseeable future is Invincible Girl of Another World. After that, it's all things Devil Trigger.

Mantech1 · Jul 9, 2023

OwlsAreBestBirbs said:
Tay becoming more and more vulgar and time goes by amuses the shit out of me. For some reason I have this image of skidmark pissing her off when she gets home, and Tay, to everyone's shock, out cusses him.

OMAKE: THE SWEAR-OLYMPICS

"Hello to all our fans on the Internets! I am of course that handsome rascal himself, L337! And beside me is the nightmare of all Twitch streamers who hardly needs an introduction, Ub3R!"

"Hello, everyone. As you've no doubt noticed this is not one of our regular videos involving either video-game themed heists or commentary on a game."

"Indeed not! No, tonight we've decided to show everyone a completely new segment whose video we got by mistake-"

"A very fortuitous and happy mistake mind you!"

"-and that new segments name is 'The Swear-Olympics' and with that title reveal I'm sure some of our Brockton Bay fans can guess who one of the contestants will be."

"Yes folks, you know him, you hate him-"

"-cause quite frankly there isn't enough drugs&booze in the world to make a sensible person feel otherwise-"

"-and was voted most likely to melt like the Wicked Witch from OZ if he came into contact with water&soap...it's SKIDMARK!"

"And his challenger-"

"-the girl with the kickass armor that Armsmaster wants to confiscate-"

"-that magnet for weird chaos-"

"-she for whom After Action Reports cannot adequately report on-"

"-[ECHO]!"

--------------------------------

Kid Win: "....[Echo] and Skidmark had a 'swear-off'?! How bad was it?"

Clock Blocker: "Well~..."

--------------------------------

Bonesaw: "I'm learning soo much!"

Jack Slash: "Poppet no!"

Bonesaw: "POPPET YES!"

--------------------------------

Astronomer: "Sooo.....just what is the protocol when we see the Simurgh's eyes grow cartoonishly large before it slams its hands over its ears?"

--------------------------------

"Sir, do you really need that many bars of soap?"

Danny Hebert *shrugs*: "At this point in my life I've learned to trust my gut instincts."

:tongue:

SkyRig · Nov 4, 2023

Hey guys. Important notice.

First off, if you've been following my other works, I'm still very much alive and well. Been busy with...well, a lot of stuff. Some important things to go over.

First, I am almost done with Chase Ryder and the City of Lost Memories, Part II: Revolution. The third-to-last chapter is almost done and I'm writing the epilogue chapter because the penultimate chapter is a war sequence that will probably take me weeks, if not a whole fucking month to write. I don't do war sequences well. Fight scenes have never been my strong suit.

Second, after Chase Ryder is wrapped up, I'll be starting my next original work. Instead of going the self-publish route, I'll be posting it as a web serial over on Royal Road. I've heard its a good place for original works from what I've looked online, but at the same time, I'm a little concerned. Starting a brand new website is always a risky gamble because you have no idea what to expect. I managed to get some footing here because my first actual SV fanfic was a Worm story, and that series is so fucking popular it deserved its own section both here and on Spacebattles. You'll notice a lot of my works here are Worm stories, and those usually tend to do better than what I have uploaded here, original or crossposted.

Third, my writing for Sufficient Velocity hasn't died out. I'll be regularly rotating fanfics so as to keep myself from being burned out, but this ties into the major announcement for this PSA of mine.

Devil Trigger has been a collaborative effort between myself and another, who requested they remain anonymous because of prior bad experiences on sites like FFN and Wattpad. We took turns planning and writing out drafts for arcs, with Arcs 1 and 3 being the brainchild of yours truly and Arcs 2 and 4 being theirs. As of October...*glances at calendar* 3rd at the time of this writing, however, my co-writer is leaving Devil Trigger. This is not because of a falling out, but rather because of his disinterest in Worm as of lately and wanting to retire from writing to focus on other matters.

This means that I will now be in charge of writing and planning out the remain arcs. Arcs 4 and 5 are mostly done in terms of planning and rough drafts, but Arcs 6 and 7 are still unfinished.

This, of course, means the wait for the upcoming chapters will be extended. Really sorry about that.

Last announcement for this PSA: After I finish up Chase Ryder, get my next original work all set up, and finish the planning and rough drafts for the remaining arcs of Devil Trigger, writing for A Worm in the Gulch and Phantom will be resumed.

...on a totally yet slightly unrelated note, I have a story that is currently only available over on Patreon. I've got like seven followers over there and make around twenty bucks a month XD Its not a whole much for a guy who's struggling to make ends meat (my interview was a total shitshow in case you didn't know and please don't ask), but its still a lot more than I was expecting since I've made it blatantly clear I don't like using patreon at all. If you are at all curious about the story, there's a link to my patreon page HERE. On Nov. 6, I will be posting a preview of what you guys can expect when I release it publicly here on Sufficient Velocity. It will compile the first three chapters in a single chapter (as said chapters are around 1-2k words long).

I hope people will look forward and enjoy it. Hopefully.

That's it for this announcement. Sorry for the long wait. I promise it will be over soon...ish.

A Worm in the Gulch (Worm/Red vs. Blue)

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