Good luck to you, who with? I remember my part time jobs with both fondness and deep seeded annoyance. Then again I worked retail.
A Worm in the Gulch (Worm/Red vs. Blue)
- Thread starter SkyRig
- Start date
- Crossover
SkyRig
Wake the f#ck up, samurai.
- Location
- Someplace in California
- Pronouns
- He
I wish. I've been trying to stick to an update schedule, but I can't do it for a variety of reasons. I'm trying my best with Cascade because of what I'm trying to do with it and P a treon and all that crap.
By the way, next chapter should be here sometime this week. Sorry for the delay.
Pog, Can't wait for it! Still on the edge of my seat rig!
#16 - Rescue Mission (AKA Taylor Never Wants To Be Rescued Ever Again)
SkyRig
Wake the f#ck up, samurai.
- Location
- Someplace in California
- Pronouns
- He
#16:
Rescue Mission
(AKA Taylor Never Wants To Be Rescued Ever Again)
Rescue Mission
(AKA Taylor Never Wants To Be Rescued Ever Again)
Were it not for the armor, I had little doubt I would be baking under the hot sun right now. I could see the air warble and waft like a mirage. Omega tapped his foot impatiently next to me, looking over the horizon. The Reds and Blues were supposed to have been here half an hour ago. It was yet another reminder that, for all the signs around me, I was in some weird world cooked up by Douglas Adams.
"I bet Arthur Dent never had to put up with this crap," I muttered sourly under my breath. Omega didn't seem to hear me, which was a plus. He really liked the sound of his own voice.
"You, um, don't think they forgot about us, do you?" DuFresne asked nervously.
I wanted to say they didn't, but then I remembered who I had no choice but to rely on to rescue us. The words died in my throat long before they reached my lips. "Knowing Church?" I scoffed. "He probably thought it was too much of a hassle."
"What is taking these fools so long?!" Omega growled, tapping his foot even faster. "If they don't hurry up, I'll sentence them all to oblivion!"
"Why is it you resort to violence first?" DuFresne asked. "I mean, whatever happened to hashing things out? You know, find common ground."
"What common ground? And since when has talking things out ever worked?!" Omega snarked, no doubt rolling his eyes under his helmet. "It's better just to make things explode or punch their mouth out."
I sighed and shook my head, wondering if this was how I was going to die. I know I should be panicking at the prospect of death, if not torture, but at that point in time, I couldn't muster the energy. Honestly, I was sure I wasn't going to die if only because of Omega's incompetence.
Minutes later, the Reds and Blues arrived. Sheila came into view on the horizon. Riding atop her chassis were the colorful idiot soldiers I've come to know within the past month or so. I couldn't see who controlled Sheila through the cockpit, not until the soldiers disembarked and climbed off the sentient tank.
"About time," Omega grunted. "What took you all so long?!"
"I wasn't aware we were supposed to be on time!" Church called back mockingly, making the A.I. simmer in anger. "More importantly, how's my recruit?"
"Still alive, asshole! Thanks for asking!"
"Somebody's pissed," Grif muttered.
Simmons smacked him upside the helmet. "Can you blame her? We were supposed to be here half an hour ago! We would have gotten here sooner if somebody hadn't gummed up the tank's tracts!"
"Why are you looking at me?"
"How else do you explain the mayonnaise?!"
"Wait, is that what happened to them?" Tucker suddenly asked. "I was wondering if we just misplaced 'em… Hey, wait a second. There were, like, over a hundred jars. Did you seriously drain them all? What'd you use 'em with, butter and bread?"
"Please," Grif scoffed. "What are we, cavemen?"
I felt the vein above my eyebrow throb. Calm down, Taylor. Just think about punching Sophia. Think about punching Sophia…
"Lo siento por el gordo," Lopez said. "Es tonto y feo. Y muy difícil de trabajar."
"Still can't understand a word you're saying Lopez," Sarge grunted before calling out to Omega. "Alright, we're!"
"So I see!" Omega cackled. "You're late, but I'll let it slide. This time. Now, here's how this is going to work!"
"Hold on just a second! We need to talk about conditions first!"
"What?!" Omega sounded scandelized. I realized immediately what Sarge was going for as I noticed Church conspicuously absent. A small glint of light flickered behind Sheila. "What do you mean conditions! It's simple! I give you the girl, you give me the robot!"
"Which robot?" Sarge asked cheekily as he gestured to the blue and black-armored soldiers behind him. "We've got three! Lopez, Robot #2, and Francisco Montegue Zanzibar!"
Why would you build two more? I wondered in confusion before remembering Church and Texas required bodies to inhabit. Church probably got the Reds to agree to help them through some kind of stupid deal, making them build two robots in exchange for something, maybe a favor or to say something humiliating like what Grif had to do a couple days ago when Blue Team 'surrendered'.
"Why do you have…?" Omega started before shaking his head. "No, I just need Lopez! …Wait. Why is that last one named differently?"
Oh, that's the thing you picked up on?!
The aforementioned robot let out a series of beeps and noises, which for some reason sounded very much like, "Suck it, cocksucker."
I've been in this canyon way too long…
"More importantly, how about we talk features?" Sarge continued cheerily. "Like, you want Lopez, right? How do you want him?"
"I—what? I want him intact!"
"Like arms and legs?"
"Of course, moron!"
"Arms and legs are optional!"
"What! That doesn't even—why would—" Omega sputtered in confusion and genuine bewilderment.
As 'negotiations' continued, Sarge very obviously stalling for time and Omega gradually growing more and more irate, I noticed that Church was absent. He was not among the Reds and Blues. Where had he—
I felt an odd sensation wash over me, as if someone put a thin film of plastic wrap over my body. Hey, Hebert, a gratingly-familiar voice echoed through my head. How are you holding up?
Church? How are you…?
I jumped inside body while Sarge's got this guy talking, he explained to me. Don't say anything or do anything that might make him suspicious. Basically, the plan is for me to hop inside Doc and distract O'Malley—
I couldn't help but correct him. You mean Omega.
Y-yeah, yeah, whatever, Church scoffed. I'll distract him, then you make a run for it. Then Caboose and Sheila blow Doc to kingdom come.
I felt a chill run down my spine. You can't be serious, I protested immediately. That'll kill DuFresne!
And its our best chance at getting rid of O'Malley, Church retorted. Everyone's got their radios turned off.
Logically, I saw where he was coming from. If we dealt with Omega now, he was unlikely to come back. What was the cost of a single measley soldier, if DuFresne could be called that, much less a proper medical officer? I knew that, but that did not change the fact that DuFresne was innocent. He did not ask to be possessed by a homicidal A.I. nor become its hostage. He was a genuinely good person, even if he did choose a questionable business practice.
It was wrong.
No, I'm not going to let you do this, I retorted immediately. We are not killing DuFresne.
I felt Church's irritation broil. Well, what the hell do you suggest then? Shove him inside your head?
Why not?
The idea of having Omega in my head and in control of my body did not sit well with me. Even I thought it was a bad fucking idea, but it was not like there was much Omega could do with my body. I was a beanpole of a girl with no muscle. What was the worst he could do? Make me PMS?
Which sounds better to you, shove him in the head of a useless teenage girl, or a poor excuse of a doctor who has a gun?
Church was silent for a few seconds before grumbling. …okay, fine. We'll try it your way, then. I'll hop inside Doc's head like we planned. Just… Just try to keep him busy, alright?
I'll do my best, I thought back with visible relief. I did not want to live with the idea that DuFresne died because of my stupidity.
I saw Church's translucent form shimmer into existence behind me, carefully sneaking out of Omega's peripheral view as the purple-armored soldier was a hair's width away from blowing a gasket. "Enough of this idiocy! I've made it quite clear by now that I want Lopez! Intact! Arms, legs, everything! I see so much as a screw missing from him, the girl will face oblivion!"
"Um, excuse me, but when you say oblivion," the pink-armored soldier started curiously. "On a scale from one to ten, how mad are we talking? Like a bruise bad or missing limb bad?"
"The fuck he is!" Tucker yelled out angrily, much to my surprise. This was different from the times I saw him angry. He was annoyed, irritated mostly at Church's general attitude or dismissal, but this was not annoyance or irritation. He was very angry. "Church, do it now!"
"What? What are you—" That was far as Omega got before Church dove into DuFresne's body. "Hgrgrgrk!"
"Hey, Hebert!" Grif shouted. "Move it now!"
"Caboose! Church needs some help now!"
"Okay!"
I paled, now realizing Caboose was inside Sheila's cockpit. "Nonono, wait, Caboose!" I moved to shield DuFresne as he spasmed and trembled. The Reds and Blues panicked, scrambling and yelling at Caboose to stop.
The last words I heard before the tank opened fire were, "Firing main cannon."
Grif felt his stomach lurch in horror. A memory flashed through his head, of finding Kakaina somehow under a thin sheet of ice and pounding against the barrier between her and her brother. He looked back at the incident with mixed emotions as it was one of the bizarre times when she somehow found herself pregnant, but not at this moment. Instead, he thought of how horrified and scared he'd been, wondering if he was about to lose his sister.
The smoke cleared. Taylor was lying on her side, helmet half-hanging on half-demolished. The visor was cracked to pieces, bits having already fallen off. Dark locks of hair cascaded down her face, stuck to her skin by the red liquid pouring down her temple and cheek. O'Malley was lying flat on his back, unmoving and maybe dead.
"FUCK!"
Tucker rushed to her first, followed by Grif and Simmons. The aqua soldier removed her helmet and gently took her into his arms. He pressed his fingers on her neck, searching for a pulse.
"Sh-she's fine," Tucker wheezed. "Oh thank fucking Christ."
"Sheila must have lowered her arm at the last second," Simmons realized. "Oh, man… This is gonna shave years off my lifespan."
"I thought the plan was for Church to take him over and for Taylor to get away?" Grif asked with a frown.
Tucker nodded, similarly confused and irritated. The three soldiers were more irritated with Caboose at the moment, however, Tucker especially judging by the way he was reaching for his handgun.
Before they could give the Blue absolute hell, however—
"Yipe!"
Simmons cried in panic as he was suddenly lifted off the ground and thrown several feet away. Grif whirled around, ready to tacke and sit on whoever attacked them when a hand seized his throat in a vice grip.
O'Malley's visor glared him down as he spoke like a demon from the bowels of Hell. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE YOU ARE IN."
"Oh, shi—"
That was as far as Grif got before a fist layed him flat on the ground and seeing stars, vision flickering between black and blurry. He heard sounds of a struggle around him, angry shouts and gunfire. He felt the earth quake from under him. As he clung to consciousness, desperately fighting to stay awake, he rolled onto his side to try and find Taylor and hopefully drag her away from all this.
He found O'Malley limping away, a half-broken robot dragging behind him with one hand and the other holding a girl with long hair.
"K-Kai…"
Grif's eyes rolled to the back of his head and succumbed to unconsciousness.
SkyRig
Wake the f#ck up, samurai.
- Location
- Someplace in California
- Pronouns
- He
Some quick notes about this chapter:
- The original plan was to have Church hide behind Sheila and shoot at O'Malley/Omega, distracting him so Taylor could escape and give the Blood Gulch Crew an opportunity to rush him. This was scrapped in favor of Church trying to possess Doc and mentally distract Omega, partly because of you guys suggesting he try to possess Taylor and partly because of one of the special episodes from the BGC where Omega possessed Church and we got a glimpse instead the latter's head.
- O'Malley's sudden shift is related to Church trying to distract Omega, which has some mixed results. The cannon blast knocked DuFresne unconscious, along with Church and Omega. The end result is that when Omega wakes up, he's temporarily reverted back to being at his most primitive, that being Alpha's emotional core of "rage". He's not attacking the Blood Gulch Crew because he's pissed, but because he's acting on instinct.
- Originally, I planned to show off the whole "fight" of Omega beating down the Blood Gulch Crew, but I decided against it for a few reasons. Firstly, I wanted to try my hand at 'minimalist' writing where I keep things as limited and vague as possible as shit happens in the background. Secondly, I wanted to leave it to your guys' imagination. Depending on feedback, I may write out the scene in full.
Tenno Drifter
IT WAS ALREADY ON FIRE WHEN I GOT HERE
Tay becoming more and more vulgar and time goes by amuses the shit out of me. For some reason I have this image of skidmark pissing her off when she gets home, and Tay, to everyone's shock, out cusses him.
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- Location
- marble Minnesota USA
Hmmm, if the plan was to force him into Taylor then why is he still in doc? There is two thought on what happened there. First is that the shot went off too soon for church to 'kill' him and thous is still in Doc body. The second; and in my mind the more fun/intcesting of the two, is that he DID move to Taylor and is in her head and this is the imprint he left in doc mind. We see it appear again in season 13 so we know its possible for it to come about in times of high stress like getting shot at with a tank. The reason its his move viante parts is that he didn't get much time to sharpe it in his full image just his earlyist past.
infinityDivided
Prince Of Doom
- Location
- USA
Errors spotted.
Added missing words.
Skidmark:What do you think you're doing in our territory you blue armored bitch?
Taylor:What was that? I couldn't hear it over the dick in your mouth, you monkey fucking cockbite!
Skidmark:.....I ain't even mad, frankly I'm impressed
TheStranger
Of course you realize, this means war.
- Location
- Take a Guess!
- Pronouns
- Who
Rereading the chapter, I can take a guess and say that Church probably didn't bother relaying the new plan to the Reds and Blues as he should have, and something happened inside Doc's head between Omega and Church.
Also, the author did mention that Sheila and Caboose knocking out Doc, Church, and Omega made the latter wake up all murder-stab-happy and at his crankiest, though I have to wonder if that's because Church and Omega might have tried to "merge" back together since Tex isn't there to, you know, help beat the shit out of Omega.
I think u mean Caboose was doing light maintenance. Not Church.
my
First person.
we're here!"
inside your body
An old man jumping inside a teenage girls body huh?
TheStranger
Of course you realize, this means war.
- Location
- Take a Guess!
- Pronouns
- Who
Okay, so had a rando idea for you Sky. Don't ask me where in the hell this idea came from, because I have absolutely no idea.
Have you ever thought of having Taylor channel her inner rage...with explosives? Make her Blue Team/Red Team's unofficial demolitions expert?
Have you ever thought of having Taylor channel her inner rage...with explosives? Make her Blue Team/Red Team's unofficial demolitions expert?
I'm pretty sure Simons is actually the red teams explosives "expert" he was the only one actually trained to use a rocket launcher apparently.
Archivist Grim
Totally not AI
- Location
- The abyss
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They
I have feeling by time we hit the chorus arc she's going to be skilled in a variety of field's, rich in experience, and all out of patience
NGL, I really like that idea... Like if she returns to Earth Bet *HOPEFULLY She'll have studied how to make her armor and stuff* she just becomes a Pesudo Tinker and and independent that fucks over the PRT at every turn because of Sophia and she does it better than them and has an active rivaly with Armsmaster about who's tech is better because her's isn't black-boxed.
- Pronouns
- Mr.
She gets into fight and does a complete Texas beatdown on her opponents.
Will she be able to do a recreation of Texas' 'beating someone with their own skull' feat?
So she becomes Mr Torgue's ancestor than.
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- Location
- Michigan
Anybody else now picturing her recreating the first half of the Texas vs. Red and Blue team fight against the Dragon Slayers after going back to Bet.
Maybe she gets a copy of Dragon to act as the onboard A.I. for her copy of all the Freelancer tech she could theoretically add to her suit.
Maybe she gets a copy of Dragon to act as the onboard A.I. for her copy of all the Freelancer tech she could theoretically add to her suit.
InfiniteChaosRai
The world's only not cringe furry
- Location
- The dimension of Florida
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Make it part of the God Magic arc instead of the mid season we got instead. Red and Blue + Taylor use magic guns to go to Earth bet and accidently Red Vs Blue all over the place into killing Zion by using Grif's Stromboli canon idea because he was mad that the pizza quest didn't lead to pizza
- Location
- Michigan
What are you talking about? God Magic arc? That wasn't in the 13 seasons.
There's 17 seasons. After the Chorus Trilogy there's Season 14, which is an anthology of unrelated things such as one of Epsilon's attempts to find Tex in the Storage Unit and part of Locus/Felix' backstory.
Then there's Season 15 which introduces another sim trooper team, the "Blues and Reds".
After this is The Shisno Paradox, where the Reds and Blues obtain the ability to time travel with portal guns, and Singularity, where the Reds and Blues fix the issues in time they caused to prevent the release of the entity which created the "portal guns". These are collectively "The Shisno Trilogy".
You can find them on the Rooster Teeth website or on the Rooster Teeth Animation YouTube channel
- Location
- Michigan
You didn't get the joke. A lot of people don't acknowledge any season after S13.
I still can't get past the Chorus arc. I had been watching since about 5 episodes into season 1. So yeah long time fan just lost the fun of RvB and a bunch of guys just goofing off.
Fair, good thing they never made anything after Shisno right? Because it would probably be god awful if they even attempted it and retconned basically everything for a High-octane fast pace action that is shity and should never have been made. That family shatters spin-off they made was pretty cool though, hopefully, it gets an actual season with good lore that continues the story properly.