#15:
Incoming Ham
(AKA Taylor Becomes A Damsel. She Doesn't Like It.)
"I am so sorry about this," DuFresne apologized for what seemed like the thousandth time in the span of an hour. "I'm trying to hold him back, I really am, but he's just so…"
I nodded in understanding, looking at the *medic* empathetically. If we were on Earth Bet, DuFresne would be sitting in a tailor-made cell for Master victims. There were all kinds of horror stories about Simurgh victims, and far too many real for her liking. I remembered hearing of a Master incident on the news a while back. A famous parahuman singer who tried to make her ex-boyfriend kill himself. Canary, I think her name was.
As much as I hated DuFresne for binding my mouth and hands, I hated myself more at the moment. What happened to the poor man was my fault. I should have noticed he wasn't there at Red Base. Because of my screw-up, he had a psychotic A.I. stuck in his head.
If there was one nice thing to say about Omega, it was that he allowed DuFresne a modicum of freedom. He did not totally dominate the *medic* totally, giving him limited control over his body.
"Um, you didn't get hurt too badly, did you?"
I shook my head. It was irksome having your mouth gagged, but it was hardly the worst I've experienced. Nothing could top the locker. Honestly, considering what I was up against, I was surprised I didn't have broken bones or fractures. The armor was very sturdy, but again, it was the sort of stuff a tinker could build. Well, that and DuFresne was a
terrible fighter, possessed by Skynet 2.0 or no.
"Shame," Omega drawled acridly. "I was hoping she'd be whimpering in pain."
"O'Malley, don't be rude!" DuFresne chastised as if the homicidal A.I. was a child.
"You fool, be quiet!"
I groaned under the gag. When you get kidnapped by a poor excuse of a medical officer who is possessed by an A.I., you had expectations. I expected Omega to be like the A.I. conspiracy theory nutjobs on the interwebs and that Saint guy from PHO raved about day after day, or Skynet from those trashy Terminator movies (the Earth Bet versions; the Aleph movies were good). Instead, he was…cartoony. Laughing in a nasally voice while trying and failing to imitate some high-class James Bond villain.
Then again, what else did I expect from Blood Gulch?
"Why do you want Lopez anyway?" DuFresne asked suddenly. It was a question that had been on both of our minds for a while. "Actually, who is Lopez anyway?"
"Red team's robot," I said through the gag.
"Uh, what?"
"It's the robot from Red Team," Omega repeated with a groan. "As for why I need him, how else am I to build my evil robot army?"
Oh, for fuck's sake. Really?! God, what is this? A Saturday morning cartoon show?!
"Let me get this straight," Church began slowly as he tried to wrap his head around what Red Team demanded in exchange for their cooperation. "You want
Hebert on your team for a month."
"Fuck that!" Tucker yelled angrily. "What the hell do you want with her anyway?"
Simmons sighed. "Sarge is convinced you guys brainwashed her, so he wants to rehabilitate her."
"Personally, I think he's off his rocker," Griff added. "And maybe a few screws loose. Or hell, maybe he just likes younger girls."
"
Griff!"
"What? I'm just throwing it out there."
"Yeah, well tell your Sarge if he lays a finger on her, the sniper rifle is going straight up his—"
"Tucker!"
His colleague was understandably pissed, but now was
hardly the time to be throwing a bitch fit. Church understood why Tucker was angry and shared his feelings on the matter. It never occurred to him the older red soldier might be interested in jailbait, and while he cared very little for his "recruit", she was still part of Blue Team. If Sarge had any weird ideas, there would be long talks involving bullets and maybe threat of death by Texas. Assuming he found her within the next fifteen minutes.
"Or maybe Sarge just wants some extra hands to help around the base," the pink-armored soldier offered cheerily.
Church sighed to himself. Donut was another thing, albeit for an entirely different reason. He wasn't sure what to expect, but a guy willingly wearing pink armor ("It's not pink! It's
light-ish red!") was not one of them. He wasn't sure if Texas was going to have a field day or just follow up on her promise to kill the guy for blowing her up in Sheila's cockpit.
In any case, Red Team's demands were clear. They wanted Taylor for a month. What was he to do? Agree? Deny them? They needed the support. There was no telling what O'Malley was capable of.
"…tell you what," he decided after a moment of thinking. "Taylor gets to decide what'll happen when we rescue her. That sound like a plan?"
Simmons and Grif looked at each other, then back at Church. "Deal," the orange fatass said. "So, what's the plan anyhow? We just go in guns blazing?"
"We don't even know where they are," Simmons pointed out.
"O'Malley said to meet him in the middle of the canyon at 1800 hours."
"1800 hours?" Tucker repeated. "When the heck is that?"
"Hell if I know. What makes you think I know military?"
"Is it local or pacific standard?"
"The fuck?" Simmons couldn't help but chime in. "Who even uses Pacific Standard time anymore?"
He got the feeling that, somewhere in the canyon, Taylor was having another rage-induced aneurism.
"Keep it still, will ya?" Sarge asked gruffly as he put on the finishing touches. When he felt the leg wobble, he raised his voice. "I said, keep it still! What part of that is so hard to understand?"
"Sorry," Caboose apologized. "It is very hard to keep your friend upright while he is trying to grab me."
Sarge raised an eyebrow under his helmet and looked up. Robot #2 was flailing its arms about, making grabbing motions with its hands while swinging them at Caboose, who did his best to hold the robot upright while the Red Team commander finished making some final adjustments and attaching the leg to the groin. As part of the agreement with the Blues in exchange for saving Taylor from O'Malley (or was it Omega? Stupid name. Who in Sam Hill calls himself Omega?), they had to provide the ghostly soldier two robots.
He wasn't sure why they needed two robots when one would have clearly sufficed. Perhaps they simply got used to having Lopez around and decided they needed an extra mechanical buddy when Lopez inevitably returned. While Sarge still could not understand a lick of what he said, he knew deep down Lopez would return to the Reds, and he'd be the first to welcome the robot back with open arms. After he got done fixing whatever faulty programming led him to siding with the Blues in the first place, of course.
Spending a couple hours with the Blues proved begrudgingly enlightening, for the most part. It gave him an up close examination of their personnel, and immediately knew something wasn't right. For starters, their intel was way off. Excluding Lopez and Taylor, who were forcibly recruited into their ranks, there were supposed to be four soldiers. Their captain, Butch Flowers, was nowhere to be found. He had been missing in action for several months now, but Sarge assumed he was out on a recon mission, and there was no intercepted transmissions of him being reassigned elsewhere.
He didn't question the Blues, knowing they'd make up some dumb lie or something, but the absence of Captain Flowers proved an unexpected boon. That man was perhaps the sole Blue-colored soldier in existence Sarge dared to respect. Ever since their assignment in Blood Gulch, Blue Team repelled their assaults time and time again, and Captain Flowers proved an exceptionally good shot. Sarge lost count how many times his shotgun had been sniped out of his hands.
If he was gone, then Red Team finally had the advantage they needed. For now, he would simply bide his time and wait for the golden opportunity. First things first, he needed to focus. The rescue operation would not succeed on its own.
"A little lower down. Ooh, thanks! Man, that spot has been bugging me for
weeks!"
Sarge frowned and looked up. He blinked at the strange sight of Robot #2 strangling Caboose, but the blue didn't seem fazed by it at all. If anything, he seemed happy, oddly comparing the choking to a neck massage.
That boy ain't right, Sarge thought before going back to work.
Alright, where's that wiretap thingamajig?
A bit on the short side. Sorry about that. I really couldn't find a good way to cap this chapter. Next chapter should be a little more meaty, I think. I think my excitement for this fanfic is starting to taper off, which is a little annoying considering we're nowhere near the good stuff.
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On an unrelated note, the Playstation Showcase wrapped up right as I type this out. As a
Destiny fan, my hype is through the rough just from seeing Cayde-6 for the upcoming expansion. Then we
Marvel's Spider Man 2, which has made me even more excited just from seeing the Black Suit alone. SO FUCKING DOOOOPE!