#11: Radio Silence
(AKA Taylor Drives A Tank And Helps A Mexican Robot Serenade It)
"I think I'm going to regret asking, but is there any particular reason
why we just did a recording of Lopez singing?"
"Insurance," Tucker said simply. "In case the Reds don't feel like listening." I got the distinct impression the aqua-colored soldier swallowed a lemon. "I know he's a robot and all, but damn is he tone deaf."
"Let's…" I groaned. "Let's just get his over with."
Church and Texas jumped inside of Caboose once we figured out a plan. Since Omega needed radiowaves to jump between people, all we had to do was make sure
all the radios in the canyon were turned off. Tucker and I turned off ours, so all that was left to do was to convince the Reds to turn off theirs. It was simple, but in practice it was going to be difficult.
Namely because of Sarge.
"Well, let's get this over with," Tucker said as he hopped atop Sheila's leftmost side while Lopez took up the rightmost side. "Hop on in, Taylor!"
I blinked. "I'm sorry,
what? Tucker, what in the hell makes you think I know how to drive a tank? I'm a
high school student, not an engineer!"
"There is no need for prior credentials," Sheila assured me. "I am outfitted with a tutorial program."
I swallowed a nervous lump. It was one thing to try and learn how to drive a car. Dad showed me the basics when I told him I wanted to learn and one day get a driver's license. I took the lessons to heart and even managed to drive that rust-bucket he called a car well-enough around town without him. Having said that, I'm quite confident driving a
tank was another thing altogether.
"W-what about Lopez? Wouldn't he be better suited to this?"
Lopez frantically shook his head and arms in refusal. "¡¿Qué?! No no no. Eso es... Oh no, estoy empezando a sudar."
"I'm gonna go on a limb and say he's too nervous," Tucker deadpanned. "God, first Caboose and now the robot… What, are tanks that sexy or something? I mean, granted, I've never done it inside a tank, but is it really that good?"
"…are you seriously asking that?"
There was a long, pregnant silence lasting exactly thirteen seconds before Tucker awkwardly coughed and looked away. "Yeah, um, let's just get this over with. Please try not to kill me. Blue Team has enough team-killing fucktards as it is…"
You know, there were a lot of things I expected to happen. I expected shooting. Lots and lots of shooting. I mean, that's a reasonable thing to expect, right? A tank comes rolling in, smashing your car and parks itself right in front of your base. That's enemy aggression. The Reds would naturally take up arms and fight back. Especially Sarge. He was a hothead with a hair-trigger. I had him pegged just from two interactions and what little I knew of from word-of-mouth.
Instead, I was sorely reminded how
fucking cracked this universe was. Instead of panicking or retaliating when Tucker contacted them, they instead chose to give us the proverbial "fuck you" and told us to get lost. Admittedly, I was also expecting Tucker to get frustrated and launch an assault, but he took the thankfully less-lethal approach.
Said approach being to bombard their radios with the most god-awful music I've ever heard.
Just from the tone alone, it was a cheesy Aleph-worthy love song. And it was sung by a monotone Spanish-speaking robot. The target of the song, if the way Lopez looked at Sheila, was obvious.
Really, I should have known better.
Nothing in this place makes sense. And I genuinely had no idea if it was just these people or if everyone in this universe was bonkers.
The plan ultimately went off without a hitch. The Reds turned off their radios, unwilling to listen to Lopez's god-awful singing any longer. Tucker and I shut off our radios as well. When we made it back to Blue Base, Caboose was back to normal and Church was back. Texas, strangely, was nowhere to be seen.
"We're back!" Tucker announced, hopping off of Sheila. Lopez carefully picked himself off the side of her chasis and landed on his feet. I had a little trouble getting out of the cockpit, but Lopez was there to pick up me up when I stumbled and nearly fell off. "How'd things go?"
"Peachy," Church huffed while looking around. "Either of you guys seen Tex?"
"She wasn't with you?"
"No. Either she's still in Caboose's head for some reason, or…" He shook his head and looked at us. "So, everything went okay on your end?"
"For the most part," I said. "Sheila's a little dinged up after smacking into the side of Outpost #1, but other than that…"
Even though I said that… Why couldn't I shake this feeling that something was wrong? It bugged me since we left Red Base. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind, gnawing and clawing for my attention.
"And how's Caboose?" Tucker asked. "He still, uh, weird or did you guys fix that?"
"Hi, Tucker!" Caboose chirped. "Hi, mom!"
I sighed heavily. "Caboose, for the last time… Ah, fuck it. Just do whatever you want. I'm too tired to deal with this crap right now…"
"Omega's gone for good," Church bit out. "Just one problem."
"What's that?"
"Apparently, there were some…
side-effects."
"Like what?" Tucker glanced at Caboose. "No, wait, don't tell me. He's actually
smart now."
"Caboose…" I started. "Is, um, everything okay? You don't feel weird or get the urge to murder people anymore for random reason?"
"Nope!" Caboose said happily. "I'm okay! The rookie said he helped!"
"That's good…wait, rookie?"
"Yeah, him!" He pointed to Church.
Tucker and I stared.
"He's kind of full of it, though."
"Turns out killing his mental image of me made me forget I ever existed," Church said. "On the one hand, I don't have to listen to him trying to get my attention every goddamn second. On the other hand, he now thinks I'm somebody new. He can't even remember what my goddamn name is."
"Waitwaitwait," Tucker held up his hands, relaying exactly what I was feeling at the moment. "What do you mean by
mental image? The fuck happened inside of Caboose's head?"
"You want the short version or the long one?"
On the short side this time around, and that's just because I couldn't figure out what else to put into it. Seriously, short chapters are somehow the worst to write.
As always, google translate ftw for Lopez.
So, we're about, oooh, halfway done with Season 2 of BGC. All that's left now is the stuff with Sheila, Lopez, and of course Doc and the Reds. As mentioned previously, after Season 2 is wrapped up, I will be moving on to Phantom. Thanks to Persona 5 Royal releasing on Switch, my interest has been renewed and re-invigorated like you wouldn't believe.
…ah, fuck it. Mega updates when the time comes!
Admittedly, I'm also working on something else. It's something of an experiment; my first time writing a CYOA story. It'll be Worm, of course, and it will feature an OC because why not. On the subject of CYOA, The Director of Protectorate ENE is getting an update in the near future as well.
Surprise, surprise. I haven't forgotten about my Quest fanfic.
Out of curiosity, which Worm fanfic should I focus on after I've wrapped up the next arc for Phantom?
Cheers everyone. And Happy Halloween.
Usual shill. If you wanna support me financially, please consider buying
Chase Ryder and the City of Lost Memories over on Amazon. Kindle is cheapest.
