Mizu
Software Developer
- Location
- Victoria, Australia
Fluffy stuff's nice, and I'm all for more of it. You'd likely want to order bookmarks so it goes before current events though, at a guess.
A Finely Honed Blade [Worm/Kara no Kyoukai | Garden of Sinners]
Eternal Dragon
(Verified Wish Granter)
- Location
- Korin's Tower (Earth Bet)
Enuma Elish!!!
I personally like the way that you told the intro section in a nonlinear fashion. I mean, Paradox Spiral is my favourite bit of KnK, and a big part of that was the way the film was structured. It seems totally fitting that fiction based on it would also experiment with nonlinear structure.
Another section like the beginning of the fic, where you go back and forth between more recent events and further past events, could work well for getting some of the more important characters some 'screen time' before they become more directly relevant to the 'now' of the story.
However, if you elect not to, I totally understand - putting people into stressful, high-stakes, non-fluffy situations can *also* serve to demonstrate character and make them interesting to the audience at *least* as well as fluffy stuff can.
Another section like the beginning of the fic, where you go back and forth between more recent events and further past events, could work well for getting some of the more important characters some 'screen time' before they become more directly relevant to the 'now' of the story.
However, if you elect not to, I totally understand - putting people into stressful, high-stakes, non-fluffy situations can *also* serve to demonstrate character and make them interesting to the audience at *least* as well as fluffy stuff can.
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- Location
- Germany
I would really like to see the beginning of Taylors friends and some more interaction with them. I don't really care for the Madison/Sophia/Emma situation, and I really don't like extended Coil scenarios - in particular if we get a Coil PoV and he doesn't die.
Also, I think going back and inserting past chapters to provide details/new stuff is great, as long as nothing changes in present chapters.
Also, I think going back and inserting past chapters to provide details/new stuff is great, as long as nothing changes in present chapters.
- Location
- Tokyo, Japan
Well, I'd put my two cents and say as long as you know what you are doing, the non-linear Chapter set up is great.
I also think that befriending the twins should be inserted into an earlier part of the story. Either after they go missing or before the current interlude.
Kemayo
A Certain Cheerful Tone Of Voice
- Location
- Missouri
I don't have a strong preference either way. Personally I got enough "Taylor has bonded with these people" out of the existing bits to have this all work on an emotional level.
I see the argument for doing another split-timeline Bisection-style series of chapters while Taylor's dealing with the twins, though. It'd be a good way to juxtapose their current post-trigger situation with happier days. I'd prefer that to you just going and editing more stuff into the earlier story.
Thinking about it, I was going to say insert more fluff with the friends earlier in the fic, but used in the coming arc, it could be used as a great contrast to the twins' post-trauma mental state. Too much, though, could ruin whatever tone you intend for the next arc instead of highlight it, so it's a balancing act.
- Location
- Belfast
You want to cut the twins in half!?! What sort of monster are you?!?
Seriously though, flashbacks could be an excellent contrast to the current situation, though you may want to be careful not to overdo it with them.
Akasha
The Only Truth
- Location
- 「̛̛́́ ͏̨҉̕͏ ͏̶̴」
You want to cut the twins in half!?! What sort of monster are you?!?
Seriously though, flashbacks could be an excellent contrast to the current situation, though you may want to be careful not to overdo it with them.
If you cut the twins in half, you'll get two unrelated people. It's not as bad as it could be.
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ensou
Magical G̶i̶r̶l̶ Servant Mordred-chan
- Location
- NEW YORK CITY!??
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This would be new content, moving forward. I'm fine with inserting singular scenes into past chapters in order to smooth out characterization or make something clearer, but I wouldn't go back and stick in new chapters.
It's great to hear that people actually like that. Because of the fact that this part would be focusing on a single set of characters, it might be a bit more out of order to highlight different aspects of their friendship and the building connections at different points. Something like April 2011 -> March 2011 -> April 2011 -> February 2011 -> April 2011 -> April 2011 (continuing previous chapter) -> March 2011 (part 2) -> April 2011 (climax) -> April 2011 (lead-in to next arc). Dunno. I'd have to plot out the coming events.
It would definitely be a balancing act to get the atmosphere right while maintaining a focus and connection to the current events. Particularly with the twins' trauma, and trying to maintain a proper focus on that and the fallout of what just happened while not getting out of hand. ...And the Bisection chapters in general were a bit shorter, since they did provide a contrast to what was happening.
For sure. Seeing how people work under pressure is a great way of revealing who they really are at the core. It would be how I want to move forward in the current events regardless of flashbacks/previous events. The coming April arc is going to be extremely stress-inducing, particularly for Lisa and Taylor (to a lesser degree) ...and for Coil, yeah, but we all know he's a bastard so we won't really get much out of that.
Alright. I think I'll be doing that then. At least in some capacity. I'll have to see how things go and what'll be happening, but it should provide an interesting experience at the least. Definitely a test of my skills. Feedback will be particularly important, since I'll need to know how things are going and if I'm achieving the proper "feel" for the chapters or not.
(Oh, and I love the fact that I can discuss this with all of you, it's absolutely fantastic. So thank you
)
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Kemayo
A Certain Cheerful Tone Of Voice
- Location
- Missouri
Honestly, given the outright rape occurring in the twins' trigger, something lighter is probably going to be helpful for readership-retention. Unless Taylor kills their trauma, it's not going to be a happy arc.
Sidebar: I do quite like how Wildbow avoided rape as a trigger event. His comments about how it's too "easy" as a traumatic-event, and thus too common in comics, resonate with me.
- Location
- Mountains and rivers
(Oh, and I love the fact that I can discuss this with all of you, it's absolutely fantastic. So thank you
For your daily meme intake, I steal from Zerban's repertoire!
Twei
I have a face!
- Location
- the land where they write things
- Pronouns
- They/Them
One of those things is very much not like the others.For your daily meme intake, I steal from Zerban's repertoire!
...well, okay, some of them are slightly not like the others, too, but that's besides the point
Yeah, I have to agree. The cap looks pretty weird.One of those things is very much not like the others.
...well, okay, some of them are slightly not like the others, too, but that's besides the point
Eternal Dragon
(Verified Wish Granter)
- Location
- Korin's Tower (Earth Bet)
I would have to disagree... the one one the left has (at least)G's whilst the rest have B's~
ensou
Magical G̶i̶r̶l̶ Servant Mordred-chan
- Location
- NEW YORK CITY!??
- Pronouns
- She/Her
So, I've got good news: I managed to get my primary editor (who has been with me since I started writing) to read this story, and got them interested it despite them knowing only peripheral information about Worm and KnK, so they'll be helping me out from now on. Which means you should see a marked increase in quality. Because they are ridiculously helpful.
In the meantime, they pointed out some problems to me, which I'll be working on fixing, including:
I can't improve my writing without knowing what's wrong in the first place. All of my stories are living documents, and I edit them constantly. So please, if you think something feels weird, or breaks SoD or anything, you have to let me know or I can't do anything about it. I give all feedback fair consideration.
In the meantime, they pointed out some problems to me, which I'll be working on fixing, including:
- Taylor's understanding of her abilities (goes from nothing to "I know all the things") in 2.3's second scene. I'll be inserting a new scene in the hospital with Taylor getting a sense of her people-sense (hinting at QA abilities earlier on), and provide more gradual build-up on her improved speed –which they noted as being particularly SoD-breaking when Taylor ran to the twins' house–, reaction-time, and proprioception.
- Expansion and explanation on Taylor's reasoning for not killing the gang members in 2.4, which was similarly noted as feeling inconsistent with Taylor's past characterization by @Splodge, based on the narrative and observations from Lisa in 1.x.
- Her uncomfortable sudden shift in attitude in 2.2 and 2.3, particularly in the three gang members scene, which I've never really been happy with in the first place. Taylor is massively OOC, and it seriously needs revising.
- Taylor's (lack of) real discomfort with Alex being all familiar despite not having human contact for a year and a half and being conditioned to fear it.
- Minor formatting changes.
I can't improve my writing without knowing what's wrong in the first place. All of my stories are living documents, and I edit them constantly. So please, if you think something feels weird, or breaks SoD or anything, you have to let me know or I can't do anything about it. I give all feedback fair consideration.
Sever 2.x.3
ensou
Magical G̶i̶r̶l̶ Servant Mordred-chan
- Location
- NEW YORK CITY!??
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Okay guys. It's here. Mod approval for (the slightly edited version of) this chapter has gone through.
Now. There are some things I need to tell you first. This is a very dark chapter. I think Kaizuki put it quite well: it is not kid friendly, and no not in the fun way. It's in the Matou Sakura and Asagami Fujino way, and yes, exactly how you're thinking.
This is Worm. Mixed with Kara no Kyoukai. Both fairly dark in their own right. I said that this story isn't Warhammer levels of grimderp. It's Nasuverse. ...And this is one of those chapters.
Don't feel obligated to read this. If you don't want to, that's fine, I completely understand. There's a summary of what happens at the end of the post. Just scroll down to the bottom. The story will continue, as it has, and I have a few things planned to make the next arc lighter, despite all the heavy stuff that will be going on.
Sever 2.x.3
Ayame Akiyama
Returning to consciousness wasn't immediate. Wakefulness seeped through her fuzzy mind, like water gradually slipping through cracks. There was a cold hardness against her right arm, her cheek, the side of her forehead. A gritty feeling.
She tried to push herself up, but her arms didn't move from behind her back. Something dug into her wrists, thin cords that were bound tightly.
<What…>
The last moments she remembered came back in frightening clarity. Strong arms holding her as she struggled. Absolute fear as something was placed over her face, and then… nothing.
Kidnapped.
It was hard to think about it like that, about something like that even happening, but there was no other way to put it.
Crushing hopelessness washed over her, and she felt tears tracking down her face to form dark-colored dots on the floor under her face.
She was breathing fast, too fast, and her head was getting fuzzy again. Lightheaded.
What was going to happen? What did they want? Why had they done this? Possibilities ran through her mind, her imagination providing horrible endings.
She was scared. More than anything right then, she wanted her father and mother. Her sister.
Her sister!
Sayaka!
Scrambling to sit up, scraping her shoulder and arms on the concrete floor in the process but finally managing, Aya looked around the room.
…And nearly cried out in relief when she saw another figure to her left. She wasn't alone.
Moving closer took more effort, and it felt like forever before she was there.
It was her sister.
"Nee-san!"
There was no response. She looked so peaceful, like she was just sleeping, completely in opposition to the situation they were in, other than the fact that her arms were tied behind her back like Ayame's own. Her dark hair splayed across the floor around her head like a halo, and Aya couldn't help but think Sayaka would hate that.
"Nee-san! <Wake up!>" Still nothing. "<Please wake up!>"
Why? Whywhywhywhywhy? A choked sob escaped her, and tears once more flowed over, even more than before.
This… this couldn't be happening, right? It couldn't be real. She didn't want it to be real.
Except she knew it was.
"Nee-san!"
A flicker, eyes behind eyelids moving, and then slowly fluttering open. "Ayame?"
Aya nodded, relief once again running through her. Her sister was here. As long as they were together, it was alright.
Sayaka pushed herself up so that she was eye-level with her sister. "Where… where are we? Where's mom and dad?"
"I-I don't know. I woke up… a-and thought I was alone, but then you were there too, but <mom and dad are missing and I don't know what to do and it's all…>"
"Shhhh. It's okay. At least we're together, right?" Ayame could tell her sister was still worried, frightened even, but Saya hid it, trying not to show it. Being the strong one, for her sake.
Ayame nodded again.
She knew they were pointedly ignoring the situation. The reality of what was happening, but that was okay because she didn't want to face it, to think about the hopelessness of it.
"I was talking to Taylor and she'd tell somebody. The police. They'll find us… and then we'll get out of here, alright?"
"<O-okay>," Aya agreed. But she knew it was weak reasoning, that people disappeared without a trace all the time, no hope of being found.
She still held onto that sliver of hope, though. That impossible chance that they'd be found, be rescued.
It was all she had.
Tears started streaming down her cheeks again.
"<Sayaka, I'm scared.>"
For a moment Saya looked like she would start crying herself, but it faded and she just nodded.
Aya wished Sayaka could hug her. That she could find some small amount of comfort from being held by her sister, like she had done back when they were kids and Ayame had been afraid of lightning.
But she couldn't, and that just made her cry harder.
It was the silence that was the worst. That and the anticipation. Occasionally, there were masculine voices outside of the metal door. But the times in between dragged on into small eternities, times where nothing kept her from thinking about what could happen to them, all the terrible things they could do to her and her sister.
She held on desperately to the fact that her sister was there. She couldn't bear to think about her mother and father. About never seeing them again, and she'd cried again when she'd first thought about it.
Their arms were fastened with plastic ties with metal strips in them. There was no way to get them off. And even if they had, what could they do? The door was undoubtedly locked, and if it was discovered that they'd gotten out of their bonds, something even worse could happen to them.
Her muscles were sore from sitting in the same position for hours, but she still couldn't bring herself to move, huddling against Sayaka for the small amount of physical contact.
It was impossible to calm down. She knew something was going to happen. Something… bad. She couldn't stop thinking about it, stop worrying, stop scaring herself. And then she realized that her thoughts were probably realistic. And that just made it all worse.
She prayed. Prayed to the kami, to God, to whoever would listen. Prayed that they would be rescued. Be found. That the police would free them. That Taylor would find them, because Aya knew that the stubborn girl would never abandon them.
But in the end, all they could do was sit there and wait. Wait for whatever was going to happen.
At some point, she must have fallen asleep, because she woke up against her sister, Saya's own head tilted forward and resting against her chest.
"Nee-san?"
Sayaka looked up, smiling slightly at her sister. "<Good morning>"
"<Good morni–>"
The sound of metal scraping on metal cut Aya off and drew both of their eyes to the door on the other side of the room as her heart started beating faster. A number of indistinct male voices drifted through the metal.
The door opened, five men standing in the doorway, blocking the view of the hall, though it appeared to be just as dark as the room was with its single bare, dim orange bulb.
That was all she saw before the door was closed again.
The men moved towards them. Ice ran through her veins.
Ayame pushed herself closer to the wall. Tried to make herself smaller.
Don't look. Don't think.
"Get up."
She didn't know which one said it. But he had an accent. The same Tokyo accent as her parents. An accent she hated hearing from him.
Neither of the twins moved from where they were. Ayame pressed herself further against her sister.
"I said get up!"
A hand grabbed her right arm and pulled her up forcefully. She cried out from the pressure.
Ayame didn't look up. Couldn't look up. Didn't want to see.
Her sister was struggling, twisting and trying to kick out.
It didn't work. They just tossed her against the wall. Her head knocking against it made a muted 'thud'. Saya slumped to the floor. But she didn't stay there. They just grabbed her and pulled her back to her feet.
"Bakuda never said you had to be in perfect condition, and you know, I've always wanted to try twins."
Ayame knew. She knew what they wanted.
She started shaking.
Aya couldn't stop herself from looking up at the man holding her arm. She instantly regretted it. There was a look on his face that made her shiver. His eyes ran up her body.
Just that alone made her feel unclean.
A hand (his hand) grabbed her right breast, squeezing it. Hard. Tears welled in her eyes.
No.
Ayame whimpered.
The hand reached under her shirt, roughly grabbing at bare flesh. She tried to twist away. To stop it. Anything.
A body pushed up against her, hot and unyielding. A hard hand against her shoulder. Pressed against the wall. She couldn't move. Trapped.
A sob escaped.
"<Please, stop!>" The words ran out of her mouth without thought.
"I was waiting for this ever since I saw you yesterday. You must be a fucking slut with a body like this."
Whispered words. Hot breath ran over her ear and the side of her face. She tried to turn her face away. To get as far away as possible.
Fingers moved across her cheek, and then trailed off.
No.
Her shirt was jerked upward without any care. Her bra was pushed away. It didn't slow anything. His hand reached out and grabbed at her left breast, again squeezing it hard.
"<Stop!>"
Tears welled in her eyes and then rolled down her face. She tried to push everything away, but there was too much. Fingers and breath and hands and unable to move.
The sound of tearing cloth came from her left. Ayame looked over at Sayaka. Her sister stared back. Hands moved over her body, squeezing and grabbing and grasping. Tears streamed down Sayaka's face, but she closed her eyes, stopped Ayame from looking at them.
A third hand grabbed at Ayame's shorts. Somebody different. Different from the one still painfully grabbing her chest. Different from the one that was holding her against the wall.
It didn't give the barrier of cloth any notice. Pushed down past the waistband. Grasped her.
She tried to push away. To stop it. It did nothing. Nothing to stop what was happening. To remove the weight pressed against her.
Her shorts and underwear were pulled down. They didn't bother with the clasps.
Aya couldn't stop the sharp cry that came out of her mouth as the rough denim waist scraped over her hips. It felt like her skin was being ripped like a metal grater. And they were around her ankles.
No!
There was too much. Too many. Too many hands, too much weight, too hot, too warm, too many things, running over her, touching her, violating her. She wanted them gone.
NO!
"God, you're so fucking hot."
NONONONONONO!
They circled a massive blue orb. Two things larger than anything she'd ever seen, vast beyond belief. There was no sense of scale, only that somehow they still managed to be small compared to the blue thing, the star they traveled around. Pieces folded and unfolded, layering over each other and somehow seeming to become more real than possible, distinct parts that were separate yet all whole, all one thing.
The conglomerates, the collections, the entities orbited the star lazily, tendrils of ionized gas drawn towards them, circling before finally being absorbed. Energy was drawn from across the boundary of dimensions, from the multiple realities the entities moved through, stored and saved in a number of those more-real-than-real parts.
They orbited again. And again. More and more brilliantly circling light absorbed.
Placement, one entity broadcast, not words, but a concept layered with more nuances and subtleties than could ever be decoded, ever be understood and comprehended in a lifetime.Location.
Patience, the other responded, this one more predisposed towards planning than action, thinking and searching for a solution, the solution, than the other. Collection.
They were small, young, and this was one of the few ways they had to gather the necessary energy that would be needed to maintain them for the next cycle.
The orbiting continued, a hundred, a thousand times, until the star was barely a marble compared to its previous size, dwarfed by the entities now, and then even that disappeared.
Completion, the Thinker sent. Satisfaction.
Agreement, replied the Warrior. Preparation.
Destination, the other returned.
They moved away, folding and rippling, pulling and pushing, accelerating away towards the target of the next cycle.
She came to with hands still against her skin.
NO!
Whiteness. And there was heat, unimaginable heat, but it didn't affect her, only feeling warm.
A ring of light circled her. Rotated. Spun.
She felt it in her mind as it expanded outwards. As it tore at the men in front of her, ripped them apart, their flesh bubbling and internal liquids boiled in their bodies. As they were flayed to the bone, the muscle so much as tissue paper.
She felt her sister at her side. Knew she was there through the light they both had, an almost magnetic link between them.
And then it all stopped.
Charred, smoking masses lay a yard and a half away. It would be impossible to call them bodies anymore.
The scent of burnt meat permeated the room, like overcooked pork. Ayame was unable to stop herself from falling to her hands and knees and vomiting what little she had in her, her stomach trying to force up what wasn't inside it at the smell.
She heard a retching behind her, and knew that Sayaka had done the same.
It took minutes before the need to throw up abated, leaving her throat raw and sinuses burning, scoured from the acidic fluid. Ayame collapsed sideways, panting, shivering. But it wasn't from the cool air that she couldn't feel anymore against her exposed skin.
She couldn't even bring herself to try and fix her clothes. Her mind was blank, void, and she felt detached, like everything was far away, at the end of a tunnel.
A body collapsed next to hers, and she felt warm arms surround her, hold her, and it was only then that she realized her hands were free.
Everything that had happened descended on her, and she rolled into Sayaka's grasp, crying freely and shaking as her sister hugged her tighter.
It was the sound of the door unlocking that jerked them back to awareness, both of them jumping at the sound. Adrenaline shot through Aya, and she rolled over to watch the door, unnatural sharpness and clarity taking over her mind.
White light appeared, circling her midsection, and she felt more than saw it pass over to Saya, moving around her in the opposite direction before returning, the energy transferred between them increasing rapidly. Ayame instinctively prepared to unleash it, to direct it at whatever threat would appear.
The door swung open, but instead of what she had expected, a blonde girl stood there, dressed in a form-fitting purple suit. The girl's green eyes flicked rapidly between the bright white light moving around the near-naked sisters, the carbonized bodies, and the scorch marks on the floor.
Her gaze moved back to Ayame and Sayaka.
"Oh, god."
A/N: This is the darkest chapter in the story.
Rape is horrible, traumatizing, and absolutely one of the worst things that a person can go through. I am very aware of the different kinds of damage that it can do to a person's psyche, and that not all rape victims act or react the same. I really hope I managed do this justice, to get across all just how terrible it can really be.
Some of you may not want to continue reading the story after this. I understand. I'd ask you to give it a chance, though, because as I've said before, I try to maintain a balance of light and dark content in my stories, and things get better.
...The twins still deserve all the hugs.
So, take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Drink a cup of hot chocolate. Watch cat videos. Go read a crackfic or something that'll make you feel good. This was intense.
Thank you for reading, and uh, feedback please?
Also, because some people might be curious (it's not necessary, just extra info): an explanation of what the twins triggered with
Now. There are some things I need to tell you first. This is a very dark chapter. I think Kaizuki put it quite well: it is not kid friendly, and no not in the fun way. It's in the Matou Sakura and Asagami Fujino way, and yes, exactly how you're thinking.
This is Worm. Mixed with Kara no Kyoukai. Both fairly dark in their own right. I said that this story isn't Warhammer levels of grimderp. It's Nasuverse. ...And this is one of those chapters.
Don't feel obligated to read this. If you don't want to, that's fine, I completely understand. There's a summary of what happens at the end of the post. Just scroll down to the bottom. The story will continue, as it has, and I have a few things planned to make the next arc lighter, despite all the heavy stuff that will be going on.
imprisonment, rape
Sever 2.x.3
Ayame Akiyama
Returning to consciousness wasn't immediate. Wakefulness seeped through her fuzzy mind, like water gradually slipping through cracks. There was a cold hardness against her right arm, her cheek, the side of her forehead. A gritty feeling.
She tried to push herself up, but her arms didn't move from behind her back. Something dug into her wrists, thin cords that were bound tightly.
<What…>
The last moments she remembered came back in frightening clarity. Strong arms holding her as she struggled. Absolute fear as something was placed over her face, and then… nothing.
Kidnapped.
It was hard to think about it like that, about something like that even happening, but there was no other way to put it.
Crushing hopelessness washed over her, and she felt tears tracking down her face to form dark-colored dots on the floor under her face.
She was breathing fast, too fast, and her head was getting fuzzy again. Lightheaded.
What was going to happen? What did they want? Why had they done this? Possibilities ran through her mind, her imagination providing horrible endings.
She was scared. More than anything right then, she wanted her father and mother. Her sister.
Her sister!
Sayaka!
Scrambling to sit up, scraping her shoulder and arms on the concrete floor in the process but finally managing, Aya looked around the room.
…And nearly cried out in relief when she saw another figure to her left. She wasn't alone.
Moving closer took more effort, and it felt like forever before she was there.
It was her sister.
"Nee-san!"
There was no response. She looked so peaceful, like she was just sleeping, completely in opposition to the situation they were in, other than the fact that her arms were tied behind her back like Ayame's own. Her dark hair splayed across the floor around her head like a halo, and Aya couldn't help but think Sayaka would hate that.
"Nee-san! <Wake up!>" Still nothing. "<Please wake up!>"
Why? Whywhywhywhywhy? A choked sob escaped her, and tears once more flowed over, even more than before.
This… this couldn't be happening, right? It couldn't be real. She didn't want it to be real.
Except she knew it was.
"Nee-san!"
A flicker, eyes behind eyelids moving, and then slowly fluttering open. "Ayame?"
Aya nodded, relief once again running through her. Her sister was here. As long as they were together, it was alright.
Sayaka pushed herself up so that she was eye-level with her sister. "Where… where are we? Where's mom and dad?"
"I-I don't know. I woke up… a-and thought I was alone, but then you were there too, but <mom and dad are missing and I don't know what to do and it's all…>"
"Shhhh. It's okay. At least we're together, right?" Ayame could tell her sister was still worried, frightened even, but Saya hid it, trying not to show it. Being the strong one, for her sake.
Ayame nodded again.
She knew they were pointedly ignoring the situation. The reality of what was happening, but that was okay because she didn't want to face it, to think about the hopelessness of it.
"I was talking to Taylor and she'd tell somebody. The police. They'll find us… and then we'll get out of here, alright?"
"<O-okay>," Aya agreed. But she knew it was weak reasoning, that people disappeared without a trace all the time, no hope of being found.
She still held onto that sliver of hope, though. That impossible chance that they'd be found, be rescued.
It was all she had.
Tears started streaming down her cheeks again.
"<Sayaka, I'm scared.>"
For a moment Saya looked like she would start crying herself, but it faded and she just nodded.
Aya wished Sayaka could hug her. That she could find some small amount of comfort from being held by her sister, like she had done back when they were kids and Ayame had been afraid of lightning.
But she couldn't, and that just made her cry harder.
It was the silence that was the worst. That and the anticipation. Occasionally, there were masculine voices outside of the metal door. But the times in between dragged on into small eternities, times where nothing kept her from thinking about what could happen to them, all the terrible things they could do to her and her sister.
She held on desperately to the fact that her sister was there. She couldn't bear to think about her mother and father. About never seeing them again, and she'd cried again when she'd first thought about it.
Their arms were fastened with plastic ties with metal strips in them. There was no way to get them off. And even if they had, what could they do? The door was undoubtedly locked, and if it was discovered that they'd gotten out of their bonds, something even worse could happen to them.
Her muscles were sore from sitting in the same position for hours, but she still couldn't bring herself to move, huddling against Sayaka for the small amount of physical contact.
It was impossible to calm down. She knew something was going to happen. Something… bad. She couldn't stop thinking about it, stop worrying, stop scaring herself. And then she realized that her thoughts were probably realistic. And that just made it all worse.
She prayed. Prayed to the kami, to God, to whoever would listen. Prayed that they would be rescued. Be found. That the police would free them. That Taylor would find them, because Aya knew that the stubborn girl would never abandon them.
But in the end, all they could do was sit there and wait. Wait for whatever was going to happen.
At some point, she must have fallen asleep, because she woke up against her sister, Saya's own head tilted forward and resting against her chest.
"Nee-san?"
Sayaka looked up, smiling slightly at her sister. "<Good morning>"
"<Good morni–>"
The sound of metal scraping on metal cut Aya off and drew both of their eyes to the door on the other side of the room as her heart started beating faster. A number of indistinct male voices drifted through the metal.
The door opened, five men standing in the doorway, blocking the view of the hall, though it appeared to be just as dark as the room was with its single bare, dim orange bulb.
That was all she saw before the door was closed again.
The men moved towards them. Ice ran through her veins.
Ayame pushed herself closer to the wall. Tried to make herself smaller.
Don't look. Don't think.
"Get up."
She didn't know which one said it. But he had an accent. The same Tokyo accent as her parents. An accent she hated hearing from him.
Neither of the twins moved from where they were. Ayame pressed herself further against her sister.
"I said get up!"
A hand grabbed her right arm and pulled her up forcefully. She cried out from the pressure.
Ayame didn't look up. Couldn't look up. Didn't want to see.
Her sister was struggling, twisting and trying to kick out.
It didn't work. They just tossed her against the wall. Her head knocking against it made a muted 'thud'. Saya slumped to the floor. But she didn't stay there. They just grabbed her and pulled her back to her feet.
"Bakuda never said you had to be in perfect condition, and you know, I've always wanted to try twins."
Ayame knew. She knew what they wanted.
She started shaking.
Aya couldn't stop herself from looking up at the man holding her arm. She instantly regretted it. There was a look on his face that made her shiver. His eyes ran up her body.
Just that alone made her feel unclean.
A hand (his hand) grabbed her right breast, squeezing it. Hard. Tears welled in her eyes.
No.
Ayame whimpered.
The hand reached under her shirt, roughly grabbing at bare flesh. She tried to twist away. To stop it. Anything.
A body pushed up against her, hot and unyielding. A hard hand against her shoulder. Pressed against the wall. She couldn't move. Trapped.
A sob escaped.
"<Please, stop!>" The words ran out of her mouth without thought.
"I was waiting for this ever since I saw you yesterday. You must be a fucking slut with a body like this."
Whispered words. Hot breath ran over her ear and the side of her face. She tried to turn her face away. To get as far away as possible.
Fingers moved across her cheek, and then trailed off.
No.
Her shirt was jerked upward without any care. Her bra was pushed away. It didn't slow anything. His hand reached out and grabbed at her left breast, again squeezing it hard.
"<Stop!>"
Tears welled in her eyes and then rolled down her face. She tried to push everything away, but there was too much. Fingers and breath and hands and unable to move.
The sound of tearing cloth came from her left. Ayame looked over at Sayaka. Her sister stared back. Hands moved over her body, squeezing and grabbing and grasping. Tears streamed down Sayaka's face, but she closed her eyes, stopped Ayame from looking at them.
A third hand grabbed at Ayame's shorts. Somebody different. Different from the one still painfully grabbing her chest. Different from the one that was holding her against the wall.
It didn't give the barrier of cloth any notice. Pushed down past the waistband. Grasped her.
She tried to push away. To stop it. It did nothing. Nothing to stop what was happening. To remove the weight pressed against her.
Her shorts and underwear were pulled down. They didn't bother with the clasps.
Aya couldn't stop the sharp cry that came out of her mouth as the rough denim waist scraped over her hips. It felt like her skin was being ripped like a metal grater. And they were around her ankles.
No!
There was too much. Too many. Too many hands, too much weight, too hot, too warm, too many things, running over her, touching her, violating her. She wanted them gone.
NO!
"God, you're so fucking hot."
NONONONONONO!
They circled a massive blue orb. Two things larger than anything she'd ever seen, vast beyond belief. There was no sense of scale, only that somehow they still managed to be small compared to the blue thing, the star they traveled around. Pieces folded and unfolded, layering over each other and somehow seeming to become more real than possible, distinct parts that were separate yet all whole, all one thing.
The conglomerates, the collections, the entities orbited the star lazily, tendrils of ionized gas drawn towards them, circling before finally being absorbed. Energy was drawn from across the boundary of dimensions, from the multiple realities the entities moved through, stored and saved in a number of those more-real-than-real parts.
They orbited again. And again. More and more brilliantly circling light absorbed.
Placement, one entity broadcast, not words, but a concept layered with more nuances and subtleties than could ever be decoded, ever be understood and comprehended in a lifetime.Location.
Patience, the other responded, this one more predisposed towards planning than action, thinking and searching for a solution, the solution, than the other. Collection.
They were small, young, and this was one of the few ways they had to gather the necessary energy that would be needed to maintain them for the next cycle.
The orbiting continued, a hundred, a thousand times, until the star was barely a marble compared to its previous size, dwarfed by the entities now, and then even that disappeared.
Completion, the Thinker sent. Satisfaction.
Agreement, replied the Warrior. Preparation.
Destination, the other returned.
They moved away, folding and rippling, pulling and pushing, accelerating away towards the target of the next cycle.
She came to with hands still against her skin.
NO!
Whiteness. And there was heat, unimaginable heat, but it didn't affect her, only feeling warm.
A ring of light circled her. Rotated. Spun.
She felt it in her mind as it expanded outwards. As it tore at the men in front of her, ripped them apart, their flesh bubbling and internal liquids boiled in their bodies. As they were flayed to the bone, the muscle so much as tissue paper.
She felt her sister at her side. Knew she was there through the light they both had, an almost magnetic link between them.
And then it all stopped.
Charred, smoking masses lay a yard and a half away. It would be impossible to call them bodies anymore.
The scent of burnt meat permeated the room, like overcooked pork. Ayame was unable to stop herself from falling to her hands and knees and vomiting what little she had in her, her stomach trying to force up what wasn't inside it at the smell.
She heard a retching behind her, and knew that Sayaka had done the same.
It took minutes before the need to throw up abated, leaving her throat raw and sinuses burning, scoured from the acidic fluid. Ayame collapsed sideways, panting, shivering. But it wasn't from the cool air that she couldn't feel anymore against her exposed skin.
She couldn't even bring herself to try and fix her clothes. Her mind was blank, void, and she felt detached, like everything was far away, at the end of a tunnel.
A body collapsed next to hers, and she felt warm arms surround her, hold her, and it was only then that she realized her hands were free.
Everything that had happened descended on her, and she rolled into Sayaka's grasp, crying freely and shaking as her sister hugged her tighter.
It was the sound of the door unlocking that jerked them back to awareness, both of them jumping at the sound. Adrenaline shot through Aya, and she rolled over to watch the door, unnatural sharpness and clarity taking over her mind.
White light appeared, circling her midsection, and she felt more than saw it pass over to Saya, moving around her in the opposite direction before returning, the energy transferred between them increasing rapidly. Ayame instinctively prepared to unleash it, to direct it at whatever threat would appear.
The door swung open, but instead of what she had expected, a blonde girl stood there, dressed in a form-fitting purple suit. The girl's green eyes flicked rapidly between the bright white light moving around the near-naked sisters, the carbonized bodies, and the scorch marks on the floor.
Her gaze moved back to Ayame and Sayaka.
"Oh, god."
A/N: This is the darkest chapter in the story.
Rape is horrible, traumatizing, and absolutely one of the worst things that a person can go through. I am very aware of the different kinds of damage that it can do to a person's psyche, and that not all rape victims act or react the same. I really hope I managed do this justice, to get across all just how terrible it can really be.
Some of you may not want to continue reading the story after this. I understand. I'd ask you to give it a chance, though, because as I've said before, I try to maintain a balance of light and dark content in my stories, and things get better.
...The twins still deserve all the hugs.
So, take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Drink a cup of hot chocolate. Watch cat videos. Go read a crackfic or something that'll make you feel good. This was intense.
Thank you for reading, and uh, feedback please?
The twins are locked in a cell. They have no sense of the passage of time. After falling asleep once, five men enter the cell and assault the girls. They trigger, with a kinetic/radiant blaster power, killing the men in the process and carbonizing their bodies. They understandably enter shock. The chapter ends with Lisa -as Tattletale- finding them some unclear time later, horrified and at a loss for what to do.
Also, because some people might be curious (it's not necessary, just extra info): an explanation of what the twins triggered with
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ensou
Magical G̶i̶r̶l̶ Servant Mordred-chan
- Location
- NEW YORK CITY!??
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Yes. I did. It's been approved.
I think the rapist might have got off lucky with the twins killing them rather then Taylor finding then?
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pheonix89
Wants to be Seven Of Nine
- Location
- North American Plaguelands
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Not sure. Taylor hasn't really gotten to full semantic superpower level, so "kill his ability to move voluntarily" or similar such means of using conceptual kill-anything to inflict fates worse than death are probably beyond her.
Ryougi could do that, but Ryougi uses her MEoD as a cooking tool by doing things like killing bitterness. She's GOOD at the whole semantic superpower thing. I'm pretty sure reviving the dead by killing their death is a thing end of KnK Ryougi could do if sufficiently motivated.
Wow, there's even an 'Approved' with the likes and all, that's helpful. Of course I guess it means I check my threads too often if I can see the post before the mods can click the 'approved' button on it...
Well, I'm fairly sure Taylor would've just killed them soo... dead is dead?
I mean... it seems less painful for 'insta-death' compared to 'canonization' as I'm 86% sure the Taylor wouldn't for for the whole 'slowly kill parts of them' bit.
- Location
- Germany
Missed a word here.