A BRand new day. High School DXD Self Insert (Gender Bender) Multi cross? Sort of.
- Thread starter Jaune Pendragon
- Start date
- Crossover
bahbahben
Free-to-Player, Never forget the first 5 Star.
- Location
- USA
Just as long as they are wrist and ankle weights, those do more to hinder than help.
She might summon forth Cheese-kun
Considering he is inspire by this,
probably a male Marisa Kirisame. Either that or Nanoha, but seems to whimsical for that. Also Master Spark get.
- Location
- Places
oh dearie me, how could I forget to train to resist abnormal acceleration vectors, did you know that human body can take ~20g from the front but ~8-13 from the sides or back? Also, ~3-4 gees upwards makes all blood leave the brain (which is bad) or around the same downwards makes all the blood go to the head (also very bad and much more deadly). guess how often you get convenient acceleration vectors in a superpowered fight. Although, they are running on Por, sorry ecch, sorry again, anime biology, that probably doesn't matter overmuch
Chapter 9 The start of the Battle
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
My current supporters include @orchamus and Artur. Who are both supporting me at Jaune Pendragon is creating Fanfiction | Patreon . Please do consider supporting me there. Even a few dollars would help a lot. I am in a dire financial situation and I didn't even pay this months rent yet. Many Thanks to @orchamus and Artur.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I woke up quite late the next day somewhere around 3 o'clock? Not sleeping on time does that for you. Good thing I inscribed a {Battle Healing} on our clothes and charged it before going to bed. Or else we would both still have torn muscles. Or Sore muscles.
Also, it seems when I went to sleep the shapeshift remained as it was I had to revert back manually once I woke up so that experiment was a success.
Yesterday I was able to add {Getsuga Tenshou} on the opposite side of my katana and {Molecular Reinforcement} near the bottom of the blade so that it doesn't just snap when I was In a fight against legendary heroes. So now I had three enchantments. I just had to channel mana to either of the enchantments and it would activate.
Then I was able to make apply reinforcement on my body at the cellular level. I was still not proficient enough in my Reinforcement to go any deeper than that.
I was concerned that I was still too slow to keep up with up with the other servants. So I took a Page from Naruto and 'developed' the [Lightning Armour] spell. Unfortunately using that resulted in crashing my body through a lot of trees. While the [Lightning Armour] allows me to literally move at the speed of lightning and gives me an extremely durable body it has two downsides.
One it consumes a lot of mana. Even with my huge Mana reserves. If I used only the [Lightning armour] spell I could maintain it for about 5 minutes before my tank would be completely empty. I couldn't use [Time Alter] here as Kiritsugu would easily recognize it.
So I brainstormed until I made two spells to solve that problem [Thought Acceration] which would increase my reaction time and help me use [Lightning Armour] without crashing into every single obstacle. [Mental Partition] so that I can concentrate on my spells without taking my eyes off my opponent.
Since I didn't have my original physical body I couldn't join Shirone in gravity training to solve that problem. I did come up with a temporary solution... Those who played those old dungeon games would find this quite familiar. I enchanted four unassuming rings with the enchantment {Speed+}. Then put a string around them and I them tightly around my neck. Not too tight but enough so it doesn't sway in the wind or during battle.
When stacked on top of [Molecular reinforcement] gave me a quite a boost in speed.
I also created several other spells but that's for some other time.
Shirone easily had C rank Strength and speed. With reinforcement, she should be just shy of A-Rank. Her added Nekoshou senses should help her if she enters a battle. I also taught her a few techniques that take advantage of her Nekosou heritage.
Guess it was time to wake Shirone. Once I got up I and got ready I decided to wake up Shirone "nicely". I opened my inventory and took out a Carton of cold milk and a glass. Then poured some milk into the glass and put the carton back. Then I held the glass of milk near Shirone's face.
I didn't have to wait long before her nose began twitching. Cat's loved milk after all and Shirone was no different. Her face slowly moved towards the glass as if she was pulled by her nose. I raised the glass in response and she sat up as well. She grabs the glass and sipped milk, gently savouring it while her eyes were still shut.
She only opened them after she finished every single drop of milk in it and turned towards me.
"......best awakening ever....." She handed her glass to me and stretched like a cat while "Nyaaaaaa"ing.....
Too much Kawai... I put the glass back in my inventory and glomped the little cat in a big hug...
"... Sempai... Air... "
Oops... I let go but still continued to pet her a few more minutes while Shirone purred.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
When we left our room there were a few boxes outside. Looks like the special costume I ordered custom costumes that I ordered Day before yesterday have arrived. Money makes the world run after all the more money the faster it moves. I was going to enjoy trolling Saber with my merlin costume I Used my shapeshifting to transform into merling and wore the costume the only thing missing now was a Stick. A Magic Stick.
I took the second box and turned to face Shirone. "This is for you."
".... For me?..." She inquired.
"Yes, I want you to wear this." She took the box and took out the clothes inside it only to glance at it in confusion.
"...Too big..." Oh. RIght.
"I need you to shapeshift a bit." She raised an Eyebrow in response.
"This is a war and its already started. We are heading into battle today so I want to disguise ourselves." She nodded in response and I gave the details of the transformation. She seemed a bit surprised when I didn't ask to hide her tail and ears.
Once the transformation was complete and she wore her costume she looked just like Blake. I would say she was blake if I didn't see her transform.
Too CUTE....but I managed to hold myself back this time.
When we were leaving the temple I asked Koneko to get me a large branch. She uprooted a tree next to the stairs in response. Not what I expected but okay? I took it and used my Destruction magic to carve a stick out of it. A stick that looked exactly like the one Merlin carries.
Once that was done I took out Ruby ink pot and my quill and inscribed. {Mana Focus}, {Spell Cost Reduction}, {Healing} and another {Speed+} on it.
With my costume complete we headed to a different restaurant.
___________________________________________
8000 yen.
Our food bill.
Really? Shirone's stomach must have a black hole, she could probably beat Saber in a food contest.
We headed to an Arcade nearby to enjoy the rest of the day. Of course, people gave us weird looks at us. Well, it's kind of obvious. Cosplayers don't usually appear here. So we would stand a bit out.
We tried out different games. Racing games. Shooting games.
Shirone broke the punching machine as well as the record. It attracted quite the crowd but had to pay for that as well.
Once we finished playing games. I got both of us some ice cream from Baskin Robin's. Yes, apparently it exists here. Two scopes of Cholates chip for me and one hell of an ice cream for Shirone... We were stared at again.
Six scoops of ice cream....on a single cone..... And she somehow balanced it.. Truly an extraordinary feat... Some even started taking pictures..
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Once we finished our ice cream I began to walk towards the docks where I believe the first fight was going to happen.
We didn't have wait too long before night fell on us.
As we neared the docks we began to hear the sound of steel clashing. Looks like it's already started.
"Let's go Shirone"
"..... Hai..."
We jumped on to the nearby warehouse as we continued to approach the fight. The sound of clashes got louder and louder.
Both we came to a stop just a few crates before the duo's fight before we caught on to Sabers and Lancers fight... As we far enough to not be easily spotted we began to observe the battle. I reinforced my eyes and spotted Kiritsugu hidden from view in the shadows.
".... Sniper..." Shirone whispered.
"Yeah, I can see him" I whispered back.
Seeing the battle between Saber and Lancer was awe-inspiring. It was much different from looking from behind a computer screen.
Each strike was made to kill and end the battle. It was a beautiful dance of blades. Each clash a close call. A battle with their lives hanging by a line. Nay a thread. A very worn out thread at the edge of a cliff with crocodiles below. Perhaps I should stick with magic until I can master my sword? Yes, that's a good idea...
Better fight with what I am good at.
I decide to turn all my attention to the battle.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(A/N: this is my first time writing a fight scene.)
"What's wrong, Saber? You're on the defensive." Lancer asked resting one spear on his right shoulder holding the other facing his feet giving a smirk. Saber simply adjusted her blade in response. Then charged at lancer. Lancer took a defensive stance before bringing down his right staff on Saber's head. Saber parried the spear only for the spearman to retract and swing his left spear an instant later. She lifted it above her left shoulder and stepped in front and swung her sword where lancer once stood mere moments ago, Lancer dodged and went around Saber and took another defensive stance a scratch marring his left cheek where Excalibur managed to scratch which he then wiped with his thumb.
Saber took a kept her blade straight ready to move in an instant.
The blows that followed were so fast each one carried so much weight to it that the air seemed to distort.
"There is really no honour in a battle fought without a proper exchange of names. But allow me to offer my regards. Its impressive for a woman to fight so hard without even breaking a sweat as she does it." Lancer complimented
"You needn't be so humble lancer, even without my knowing your name, those words from such a master of the spear do me honour. I gratefully accept them." Saber replied courteously.
"That's enough fun for now lancer. Do not allow this battle to go on. Saber is a formidable opponent. Eliminate her at once. You may use your noble Phantasm."
The short battle that followed chipped away the compressed barrier of wind that kept Excalibur hidden allowing me to glance at it.
"....Holy sword..." Shirone whispered.
I nodded back at her and whispered. "Excalibur. The whole one."
I could feel Shirone's shock.
"I added some Anti Holy- protection into those clothes so don't worry as long as it doesn't strike a vital area you'll be fine."
Shirone began to calm down. Still, I can't guarantee that It can protect against a Blade with Excalibur's level. So I must make sure Shirone doesn't fight saber.
As I turned back to the Fight I saw Saber right hand was bleeding and her armour was gone lightning struck the ground between Saber and Lancer and a Bull driven Chariot landed on the ground. Carrying Broskander.
"Both of you sheath your blades. For I am a King. I am Iskandar King of Conquerors. In this Battle for the Holy Grail. I am of the Rider class of Servants." His voice rang out as Wavers mouth hung open.
"What the hell are you thinking announcing yourself that way you Idiot!" Waver said only to receive a flick to his forehead courtesy of Iskandar. Before He continued like nothing happened. Fate has brought us to do battle. But first I wish to make a Proposition. An offer. What think of yielding the holy grail to me and joining my glorious and invincible army! You would be treated as honoured allies, friends and Brothers in arms. Together we shall share in the glory of battle and the joy of world conquest."
Lancer shook his head. "I'm afraid that I must decline your offer, As tempting as that offer maybe. I may give the grail to but one man. My new avowed lord and Master. And not the likes of you, rider." He said Glaring at Iskandar for even thinking that he would even consider betraying his lord.
Arturia scoffed as well. "Tell me Rider. Did you come and interfere with our battle with our battle rudely. Merely to offer that ridiculous and laughable plan of yours? This is a grave offence against my honour."
"Hmm, I will be willing to discuss compensation?"
"ENOUGH!" Both Lancer and Saber yelled at once.
"And further. I am the Rightful King of Britain and not merely a Knight of the realm. I can never lower myself to a mere retainer, even to a mighty king."
"OH, You are King of Britain? That is quite a surprise. I would hardly expect the King of Knights to be a little girl." He said surprised.
"Then would you Like a taste of this little girl's blade king of Conquerer's?" Saber replied in anger.
Rider sighed rubbing his head. "I suppose Negotiations have failed. Such a terrible waste. A truly awful shame."
"RIDEEER, What the hell is wrong with you?" Waver began screaming.
"So you were the one who did it, huh? I've been wondering what twisted madness had invaded your Psyche and compelled you to steal my relic. Ha, I never even imagined that you yourself had been planning to enter the holy grail war, WAVER VElVET. Now I know you're not experienced in these matters. How would you like me to offer you a private lesson? What it really means for mages to kill one and other?" At this point, Waver began to panic and fell to his knees clutching his head. "I'll teach you all about the fear and pain involved in such noble endeavours. You should feel honoured."
Iskander gently rubbed waver back causing him to look up at the King.
Iskandar turned up. "Mage who is speaking now. DO I understand correctly that you were to be my master rather than this boy I'm sworn to serve? That whole Idea is absurd and laughable. Only one brave enough to ride into the battlefield standing by my side could ever hope to be my master. A coward sufficient courage to show himself is nowhere even close to being worthy of me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Of course, there are also others, out there skulking in the darkness watching us."
"What are you talking about, Rider?" Saber questioned.
"Saber and Lancer, the skills and bravery you showed were impressive. Your duel was magnificent!. Surely the sound of your blades and the fury of your battle called other heroic spirits here, to bear witness, glean knowledge from your encounter. HEROIC SPIRITS BORN AGAIN THROUGH THE HOLY GRAiL! Gather here and NOW those who are too cowardly to show themselves here tonight will draw the vicious sorn of, ISKANDAR! KING OF CONQUERERS!"
Hmm if I remember correctly this is the part where Gilgamesh and berserker Come in. May as well join the party.
"I do apologize for not showing myself, Iskandar, King of conquerors," I said Jumping down with Shirone following closely behind. As I landed down Facing Rider, Saber lancer and Irisviel. I could see Saber's eyes widening in recognition.
"I am of the Caster class-" I was interrupted my Saber's shout.
"MERLIN?!"
Which then caused Irisviels and Waver Eyes to widen in recognition of the name.
"Merlin? The Merlin?" Waver Whispered in wonder.
"Merlin the most famous mage in existence!" Irisviel whispered
"Well, It seems my introduction duction was done for me."
"Merlin?!" And that was lord El melloi.
The Whole Area was completely silent except for the crunching sound of Shirone eating cookies from a bag I didn't even know where she got from.
.....
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I woke up quite late the next day somewhere around 3 o'clock? Not sleeping on time does that for you. Good thing I inscribed a {Battle Healing} on our clothes and charged it before going to bed. Or else we would both still have torn muscles. Or Sore muscles.
Also, it seems when I went to sleep the shapeshift remained as it was I had to revert back manually once I woke up so that experiment was a success.
Yesterday I was able to add {Getsuga Tenshou} on the opposite side of my katana and {Molecular Reinforcement} near the bottom of the blade so that it doesn't just snap when I was In a fight against legendary heroes. So now I had three enchantments. I just had to channel mana to either of the enchantments and it would activate.
Then I was able to make apply reinforcement on my body at the cellular level. I was still not proficient enough in my Reinforcement to go any deeper than that.
I was concerned that I was still too slow to keep up with up with the other servants. So I took a Page from Naruto and 'developed' the [Lightning Armour] spell. Unfortunately using that resulted in crashing my body through a lot of trees. While the [Lightning Armour] allows me to literally move at the speed of lightning and gives me an extremely durable body it has two downsides.
One it consumes a lot of mana. Even with my huge Mana reserves. If I used only the [Lightning armour] spell I could maintain it for about 5 minutes before my tank would be completely empty. I couldn't use [Time Alter] here as Kiritsugu would easily recognize it.
So I brainstormed until I made two spells to solve that problem [Thought Acceration] which would increase my reaction time and help me use [Lightning Armour] without crashing into every single obstacle. [Mental Partition] so that I can concentrate on my spells without taking my eyes off my opponent.
Since I didn't have my original physical body I couldn't join Shirone in gravity training to solve that problem. I did come up with a temporary solution... Those who played those old dungeon games would find this quite familiar. I enchanted four unassuming rings with the enchantment {Speed+}. Then put a string around them and I them tightly around my neck. Not too tight but enough so it doesn't sway in the wind or during battle.
When stacked on top of [Molecular reinforcement] gave me a quite a boost in speed.
I also created several other spells but that's for some other time.
Shirone easily had C rank Strength and speed. With reinforcement, she should be just shy of A-Rank. Her added Nekoshou senses should help her if she enters a battle. I also taught her a few techniques that take advantage of her Nekosou heritage.
Guess it was time to wake Shirone. Once I got up I and got ready I decided to wake up Shirone "nicely". I opened my inventory and took out a Carton of cold milk and a glass. Then poured some milk into the glass and put the carton back. Then I held the glass of milk near Shirone's face.
I didn't have to wait long before her nose began twitching. Cat's loved milk after all and Shirone was no different. Her face slowly moved towards the glass as if she was pulled by her nose. I raised the glass in response and she sat up as well. She grabs the glass and sipped milk, gently savouring it while her eyes were still shut.
She only opened them after she finished every single drop of milk in it and turned towards me.
"......best awakening ever....." She handed her glass to me and stretched like a cat while "Nyaaaaaa"ing.....
Too much Kawai... I put the glass back in my inventory and glomped the little cat in a big hug...
"... Sempai... Air... "
Oops... I let go but still continued to pet her a few more minutes while Shirone purred.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
When we left our room there were a few boxes outside. Looks like the special costume I ordered custom costumes that I ordered Day before yesterday have arrived. Money makes the world run after all the more money the faster it moves. I was going to enjoy trolling Saber with my merlin costume I Used my shapeshifting to transform into merling and wore the costume the only thing missing now was a Stick. A Magic Stick.
I took the second box and turned to face Shirone. "This is for you."
".... For me?..." She inquired.
"Yes, I want you to wear this." She took the box and took out the clothes inside it only to glance at it in confusion.
"...Too big..." Oh. RIght.
"I need you to shapeshift a bit." She raised an Eyebrow in response.
"This is a war and its already started. We are heading into battle today so I want to disguise ourselves." She nodded in response and I gave the details of the transformation. She seemed a bit surprised when I didn't ask to hide her tail and ears.
Once the transformation was complete and she wore her costume she looked just like Blake. I would say she was blake if I didn't see her transform.
Too CUTE....but I managed to hold myself back this time.
When we were leaving the temple I asked Koneko to get me a large branch. She uprooted a tree next to the stairs in response. Not what I expected but okay? I took it and used my Destruction magic to carve a stick out of it. A stick that looked exactly like the one Merlin carries.
Once that was done I took out Ruby ink pot and my quill and inscribed. {Mana Focus}, {Spell Cost Reduction}, {Healing} and another {Speed+} on it.
With my costume complete we headed to a different restaurant.
___________________________________________
8000 yen.
Our food bill.
Really? Shirone's stomach must have a black hole, she could probably beat Saber in a food contest.
We headed to an Arcade nearby to enjoy the rest of the day. Of course, people gave us weird looks at us. Well, it's kind of obvious. Cosplayers don't usually appear here. So we would stand a bit out.
We tried out different games. Racing games. Shooting games.
Shirone broke the punching machine as well as the record. It attracted quite the crowd but had to pay for that as well.
Once we finished playing games. I got both of us some ice cream from Baskin Robin's. Yes, apparently it exists here. Two scopes of Cholates chip for me and one hell of an ice cream for Shirone... We were stared at again.
Six scoops of ice cream....on a single cone..... And she somehow balanced it.. Truly an extraordinary feat... Some even started taking pictures..
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Once we finished our ice cream I began to walk towards the docks where I believe the first fight was going to happen.
We didn't have wait too long before night fell on us.
As we neared the docks we began to hear the sound of steel clashing. Looks like it's already started.
"Let's go Shirone"
"..... Hai..."
We jumped on to the nearby warehouse as we continued to approach the fight. The sound of clashes got louder and louder.
Both we came to a stop just a few crates before the duo's fight before we caught on to Sabers and Lancers fight... As we far enough to not be easily spotted we began to observe the battle. I reinforced my eyes and spotted Kiritsugu hidden from view in the shadows.
".... Sniper..." Shirone whispered.
"Yeah, I can see him" I whispered back.
Seeing the battle between Saber and Lancer was awe-inspiring. It was much different from looking from behind a computer screen.
Each strike was made to kill and end the battle. It was a beautiful dance of blades. Each clash a close call. A battle with their lives hanging by a line. Nay a thread. A very worn out thread at the edge of a cliff with crocodiles below. Perhaps I should stick with magic until I can master my sword? Yes, that's a good idea...
Better fight with what I am good at.
I decide to turn all my attention to the battle.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(A/N: this is my first time writing a fight scene.)
"What's wrong, Saber? You're on the defensive." Lancer asked resting one spear on his right shoulder holding the other facing his feet giving a smirk. Saber simply adjusted her blade in response. Then charged at lancer. Lancer took a defensive stance before bringing down his right staff on Saber's head. Saber parried the spear only for the spearman to retract and swing his left spear an instant later. She lifted it above her left shoulder and stepped in front and swung her sword where lancer once stood mere moments ago, Lancer dodged and went around Saber and took another defensive stance a scratch marring his left cheek where Excalibur managed to scratch which he then wiped with his thumb.
Saber took a kept her blade straight ready to move in an instant.
The blows that followed were so fast each one carried so much weight to it that the air seemed to distort.
"There is really no honour in a battle fought without a proper exchange of names. But allow me to offer my regards. Its impressive for a woman to fight so hard without even breaking a sweat as she does it." Lancer complimented
"You needn't be so humble lancer, even without my knowing your name, those words from such a master of the spear do me honour. I gratefully accept them." Saber replied courteously.
"That's enough fun for now lancer. Do not allow this battle to go on. Saber is a formidable opponent. Eliminate her at once. You may use your noble Phantasm."
The short battle that followed chipped away the compressed barrier of wind that kept Excalibur hidden allowing me to glance at it.
"....Holy sword..." Shirone whispered.
I nodded back at her and whispered. "Excalibur. The whole one."
I could feel Shirone's shock.
"I added some Anti Holy- protection into those clothes so don't worry as long as it doesn't strike a vital area you'll be fine."
Shirone began to calm down. Still, I can't guarantee that It can protect against a Blade with Excalibur's level. So I must make sure Shirone doesn't fight saber.
As I turned back to the Fight I saw Saber right hand was bleeding and her armour was gone lightning struck the ground between Saber and Lancer and a Bull driven Chariot landed on the ground. Carrying Broskander.
"Both of you sheath your blades. For I am a King. I am Iskandar King of Conquerors. In this Battle for the Holy Grail. I am of the Rider class of Servants." His voice rang out as Wavers mouth hung open.
"What the hell are you thinking announcing yourself that way you Idiot!" Waver said only to receive a flick to his forehead courtesy of Iskandar. Before He continued like nothing happened. Fate has brought us to do battle. But first I wish to make a Proposition. An offer. What think of yielding the holy grail to me and joining my glorious and invincible army! You would be treated as honoured allies, friends and Brothers in arms. Together we shall share in the glory of battle and the joy of world conquest."
Lancer shook his head. "I'm afraid that I must decline your offer, As tempting as that offer maybe. I may give the grail to but one man. My new avowed lord and Master. And not the likes of you, rider." He said Glaring at Iskandar for even thinking that he would even consider betraying his lord.
Arturia scoffed as well. "Tell me Rider. Did you come and interfere with our battle with our battle rudely. Merely to offer that ridiculous and laughable plan of yours? This is a grave offence against my honour."
"Hmm, I will be willing to discuss compensation?"
"ENOUGH!" Both Lancer and Saber yelled at once.
"And further. I am the Rightful King of Britain and not merely a Knight of the realm. I can never lower myself to a mere retainer, even to a mighty king."
"OH, You are King of Britain? That is quite a surprise. I would hardly expect the King of Knights to be a little girl." He said surprised.
"Then would you Like a taste of this little girl's blade king of Conquerer's?" Saber replied in anger.
Rider sighed rubbing his head. "I suppose Negotiations have failed. Such a terrible waste. A truly awful shame."
"RIDEEER, What the hell is wrong with you?" Waver began screaming.
"So you were the one who did it, huh? I've been wondering what twisted madness had invaded your Psyche and compelled you to steal my relic. Ha, I never even imagined that you yourself had been planning to enter the holy grail war, WAVER VElVET. Now I know you're not experienced in these matters. How would you like me to offer you a private lesson? What it really means for mages to kill one and other?" At this point, Waver began to panic and fell to his knees clutching his head. "I'll teach you all about the fear and pain involved in such noble endeavours. You should feel honoured."
Iskander gently rubbed waver back causing him to look up at the King.
Iskandar turned up. "Mage who is speaking now. DO I understand correctly that you were to be my master rather than this boy I'm sworn to serve? That whole Idea is absurd and laughable. Only one brave enough to ride into the battlefield standing by my side could ever hope to be my master. A coward sufficient courage to show himself is nowhere even close to being worthy of me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Of course, there are also others, out there skulking in the darkness watching us."
"What are you talking about, Rider?" Saber questioned.
"Saber and Lancer, the skills and bravery you showed were impressive. Your duel was magnificent!. Surely the sound of your blades and the fury of your battle called other heroic spirits here, to bear witness, glean knowledge from your encounter. HEROIC SPIRITS BORN AGAIN THROUGH THE HOLY GRAiL! Gather here and NOW those who are too cowardly to show themselves here tonight will draw the vicious sorn of, ISKANDAR! KING OF CONQUERERS!"
Hmm if I remember correctly this is the part where Gilgamesh and berserker Come in. May as well join the party.
"I do apologize for not showing myself, Iskandar, King of conquerors," I said Jumping down with Shirone following closely behind. As I landed down Facing Rider, Saber lancer and Irisviel. I could see Saber's eyes widening in recognition.
"I am of the Caster class-" I was interrupted my Saber's shout.
"MERLIN?!"
Which then caused Irisviels and Waver Eyes to widen in recognition of the name.
"Merlin? The Merlin?" Waver Whispered in wonder.
"Merlin the most famous mage in existence!" Irisviel whispered
"Well, It seems my introduction duction was done for me."
"Merlin?!" And that was lord El melloi.
The Whole Area was completely silent except for the crunching sound of Shirone eating cookies from a bag I didn't even know where she got from.
.....
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- Pronouns
- She/Her/They
Ah... Cant wait for Sabers reaction , it will be great!
bahbahben
Free-to-Player, Never forget the first 5 Star.
- Location
- USA
Well time to share what this has inspired.
NotMerlin: *Glances at Saber, to Irisviel. Checks out* Your master is quite the looker, trying again for an heir?
Saber: *Flushes with anger and embarrassment* What are you!?
NM: Want me to put the d**k on you?
Saber: *Snaps* Merlin!! *Rushes NM*
NM: *Runs with Saber in pursuit*
Beserker: ARTHHUR!! *Chases Saber*
Gil: This requires further thought.
NotMerlin: *Glances at Saber, to Irisviel. Checks out* Your master is quite the looker, trying again for an heir?
Saber: *Flushes with anger and embarrassment* What are you!?
NM: Want me to put the d**k on you?
Saber: *Snaps* Merlin!! *Rushes NM*
NM: *Runs with Saber in pursuit*
Beserker: ARTHHUR!! *Chases Saber*
Gil: This requires further thought.
Battleship_Fusou
(The Itty-Bitty Pretty Battleship Kitty)
- Location
- Surigao Strait
Hehehehehehe oh that's quite the entrance, now just watch as everyone tries to simultaneously avoid and kill you out of fear.
This story irritates me more than all your others. The reason simply being, that it is literally on the border of not enough and too much. Too much for it to be just light hearted and comedic, too short for the abilities that can be used. You said imagination magic earlier but with that, you'd stack the deck in your favour easily. (psh 5 average enchants)
You know what that means? I've lost my ability to enjoy proper literature and now the internet has destroyed any sense of sophistication I can reap from life.
Anyway, what this means; We just got that the MC had ordered the clothes etc (Devil magic can't repair/make from dxd? Huh) and a few things were glossed over. This is awkward to me because I read a lot of chinese/asian translated novels and they add more characters and repeat things again and again. A little extra verbosity never hurt anybody.
Now the reason I made the post: NotMerlin: "GILGA, KING OF KINGS, YOUR LEGENDS ECLIPSE GODS THEMSELVES, I HAVE NOT YET HEARD OF YOUR PROWESS IN TEACHING AS ANY GOOD KING WOULD NEED TO LEAD THEIR SUBJECTS, PERHAPS YOU CAN SHOW ME DA WAE"
or
NotMerlin: "You know, when Zelretch said that there would be candy in Japan, I didn't think he meant eye candy. -leers-".
You know what that means? I've lost my ability to enjoy proper literature and now the internet has destroyed any sense of sophistication I can reap from life.
Anyway, what this means; We just got that the MC had ordered the clothes etc (Devil magic can't repair/make from dxd? Huh) and a few things were glossed over. This is awkward to me because I read a lot of chinese/asian translated novels and they add more characters and repeat things again and again. A little extra verbosity never hurt anybody.
Now the reason I made the post: NotMerlin: "GILGA, KING OF KINGS, YOUR LEGENDS ECLIPSE GODS THEMSELVES, I HAVE NOT YET HEARD OF YOUR PROWESS IN TEACHING AS ANY GOOD KING WOULD NEED TO LEAD THEIR SUBJECTS, PERHAPS YOU CAN SHOW ME DA WAE"
or
NotMerlin: "You know, when Zelretch said that there would be candy in Japan, I didn't think he meant eye candy. -leers-".
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Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
OH. Well what can I do to make it better?
This is sadly basically rambling. My point eluded me and the formatting of this forum makes it hard to formulate my thoughts let alone writing them down.
Put out more words, or chapters wayyy faster. That'd probably stave off the "moving too fast". [They're]You've-got the different medias, from books which describe things and have chapters that explain a few facets over dozens of pages, webnovels/ff that do similar, or straight up gets OP in 10 pages or less with little... Explanation/showing/training, Then you've got movies that are like that vs TV shows that are more episodic and can either be like that or be more like book series.
Truthfully, I have no idea, the syntax and language itself is complicated, let alone the story added. -shivers-.
^Don't read.
Anyway, I'd say that the problem I have are transitions. Like how they're different short episodes that are one after the other, instead of a story that's more linked like a chain. It's been years and we have little basis on what the MC has gained over time, or lost due to becoming a servant. The lack of being able to physically change being probably just one[ because servant ].
Like how people just pull something out of a hat and play
In my mind, the MC has a lot of self taught knowledge, out of bounds of normality. A Devil, (shiro is both devil and yokai), so they could use their blood in rituals, probably enchanting/sealing to increase personal strength. Now, how to maximise training? You'd increase time in some ways/split yourself or your mind. Then you have the saying that a mage that's prepared can do anything/kill god or something like that. From this, I can speculate a lot, but none of it is 'canon' until it's hinted at or shown. I don't know if a bullet can kill the MC, or that they can dodge/defend against it since they died to one before. I don't know if it's simple to defend against normal ones or origin bullets with what she has, because before there was a lack of preparedness.
It seems as though the enchanting was lackadaisical and the clothing seems perfunctionary (I mean, could you not get lots of steel/copper, melt in and use magic to make it occupy a smaller space, enchant for being lighter, etc) and relying on internet ordering when you could teleport is a little risky.
P.s: I have no idea what others think, this is coloured by a person who has subsisted mainly on Gamer/SI/fanfiction for months now. Shamefully.
What seems to be the major point that I can point out, is that the MC is like Rias with what appears to be a lack of preparation. With preparation, a mage can do a lot of things, or however that quote goes. One last thing thought, is familiars. Or ofuda that can be made into temp familiar would help with a lot of item collection/spying,
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Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
OH... Well I suppose I can try adding some flash backs here and there? Is that okay?
Hey, I said that'd be what I'd do. I have no idea how to make a decent story. For me, it'd be basically adding in a few things that weren't clarified in the past so this would be a form of unveiling the MC'S OPness/Ridiculousness as time goes on showing that the MC has got a chance in the grail war. Using it to slightly reduce suspense of the unknowns of the MC, while building up towards an epic clash. Eventually turning out that disguising as Merlin was because of being so sure of not being harmed or something as other projects were happening in the background/already complete.
Sadly, I personally am unable to think of a way to naturally add flashbacks in. The closet thing I could think, is very short chapters, with flashbacks inbetween a few. Which is a little unwieldy.
Something that could be fun, would be using Shirone as the "straight man" due to the MC's inability to know what "normal" is due to not really having it with the powercreep as Rias.
For this particular story, in my exceptionally unprofessional opinion, I'd suggest; Shirone trying to understand what's happening/if it's the same world/how the mc compares to other servants/if mc can say god without cringing. The MC then explaining what's happening and how they're preparing. Then cut out about 80-99% of that and have it flow into conversation/when the mc is planning.
The key point is that this story is in your head. In my head there are hundreds of different things that the MC can do, such as going into the physical place of Gate of Babylon and stealing a lot of crap without gilga finding out and using them to get OP (try grimoires). This is why I'm not writing the story. 2k words of becoming OP aint fun to read.
Now, I say the story is in your head, I'd suggest something that some coders do called Rubber duck debugging. Where they have a rubber duck on their desk and force themselves to explain it to the duck, line by line. Similar to the Evil Overlords List, where you need a normal 5 year old child, if they can put holes in your plan then.. yeah... Point being, some people aren't as familiar with the settings or what you've got planned, so an outside thing, something you talk about with your story, so that when you think of say, the rubber duck, you'd understand what the duck knows (because of what you're telling it) vs what you know.
Now, the hard part is putting it into words. I literally can't think of how to improve/help you with that. Perhaps find a 5 year old child? P.S: Is the MC going to eat the energy field of the holy grail (bigger than the MC's head)?
bahbahben
Free-to-Player, Never forget the first 5 Star.
- Location
- USA
I think that what he is trying to say is that your inexperience with making an SI story is having the story devolve into your personal power-wank fantasy. You have only shown growth of your power, and little to none for your avatar's character. And he is not showing proper respect for the source material of the things they are basing their powers in. And the source material of their setting.
I would suggest before you continue writing and plotting this story to read this one (Speeding Through Life). It is also an SI story (a Fairy Tail one), PSIness11 had his character do a little power mimicking like you before he pays for it in battle. It might help you recognize and deal with some problems you are having with this story.
I would suggest before you continue writing and plotting this story to read this one (Speeding Through Life). It is also an SI story (a Fairy Tail one), PSIness11 had his character do a little power mimicking like you before he pays for it in battle. It might help you recognize and deal with some problems you are having with this story.
Ah, I care less about the source material.
For the first part, somewhat. It's more, that he has created his own world, but it's not on paper, it's in his mind. And sadly, the Physic net doesn't have an IP address. That it's less of a movie being shown, and more like trailers instead of cutscenes.
That's a decent read. For how it relates, I'd point out that both these stories can be summarised in a small amount of words. The flavour/depth of writing varies per story. Speeding through life is sort of like a novel, compared to a standard fanfic (from what I've seen, especially of this genre[short chapters without explaining everything as what's written for this story, could have taken over 200 pages to complete, or as little as 2.])
Now, back to the avatar's character. You're right but I was more interested in how the power was attained and applied. I'm fumbling mentally because I can literally think up of hundreds of things that could be done. Sure, I'm ignoring the obstacles but that they're what turn it into a story.
One last thing though, I'm used to, or I feel as though most people should. Isolate themselves and become OP with no setbacks. I mean, I enjoy stuff like that. You then have to take into account, that there isn't a story there. So obstacles are needed, but not arbitrarily. This is the second main reason I can't write stories.
P.S: Holy crap. Zelretch. I just realised that the problem I have, is the same as his. There is so much potential, an infinite amount. To narrow it down, you'd need people, ideas, objects, concepts. Then you'd need obstacles and limits. No wonder Nasu-verse is cray. For the Wizard Marshall. There's so much choice, you'd lose yourself. It really makes it relatable to Rick Sanchez from Rick&Morty.
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Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Upto where Saber snaps at merlin. I want to add it. No not omake...NotMerlin: *Glances at Saber, to Irisviel. Checks out* Your master is quite the looker, trying again for an heir?
Saber: *Flushes with anger and embarrassment* What are you!?
NM: Want me to put the d**k on you?
Saber: *Snaps* Melin!!
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bahbahben
Free-to-Player, Never forget the first 5 Star.
- Location
- USA
Why? Does it work with your SI's character?
Well if it works with your view Merlin behavior I see no problem.
b u t i s h a n t t a l k t o y o u a g a i n i f y o u d o n o t t r u l y t h i n k i t t h r o u g h
Well if it works with your view Merlin behavior I see no problem.
b u t i s h a n t t a l k t o y o u a g a i n i f y o u d o n o t t r u l y t h i n k i t t h r o u g h
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- Location
- Florida
Edited it to be more accurate.
Chapter 9.1 Interlude Shirone.
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
(Shirone POV)
Shirone began to reminisce about her time with her sempai as she ate her ice cream leisurely
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(Flash Back NO JUTSU)
Saying her King was an odd one was an understatement.
Not that it was a bad thing, however, compared to her previous king and the other devils she had encountered her current King was the kindest of them all perhaps too kind for a devil. Even the maids in the Gremory household treated her like an outsider.
At least until her King offered to make her, her queen. After she was Rias's Queen their treatment turned a 180. but she never trusted anyone, save for her nee-sama or sempai. This came as quite a surprise for Shirone. There was only one queen piece for each set.
The Queen piece also was the single most Valuable and powerful piece. So why waste such a piece on her?
There was nothing she could do even if her king had less than noble intentions for her.
She highly doubted that her King could surpass her Previous King and Sirzechs in how cruel and manipulative they were. She may look young but she knew that devils only valued strength, she also knew what actually happened to her sister. NO matter what Propaganda the Mao spread, she would bide her time and get stronger. Strong enough that one day she could make the Mao pay for spreading lies about her sister and locking her up.
The stronger one was the more one's words weight. That was the way the devil's worked.
Sirzechs and Lady Leviathans words were worth their weight in gold because of his overwhelming power.
They could destroy entire countries on a whim.
When she first met her king, she was injured and Lying on bed.
As she expected, Sirzechs offered her to her king on a silver platter.
However, what happened next surprised her.
Instead of claiming her then and there as a pawn for her plaything, she asked all the others to leave.
Her body trembled in sorrow. So her king wanted her body? They didn't even consider her a living thing!
As the would be king called her over patting her bed, she stumbled forward with wavy steps. Trying to delay the in inevitable even bit longer.
Her wounds and hunger left her tired hungry and hurt.
As she neared the bed her soon to be king seemed to take a closer look at her. but when Shirone saw her eyes. They were not filled with greed, lust or disgust rather they were filled with warmth and sorrow.
Unlike with other devils, all she could sense from her was warmth, joy, and sorrow. It was a well Kept-secret among the Nekoshou. There ability to sense the emotions of others. No other devil's currently alive knew of that ability other than her and nee-sama.
So when her soon to be king gave her a hug of all things needless to say she was quite surprised but was able to calm down knowing that she was different from other devils.
"It's alright, don't worry. Are you Hungry?" Was the first question she received.
*GROOOOWL* Her stomach had an absolutely terrible sense of timing.
Instead of getting angry, her soon to be king seemed to only grow more sorrowful. Why was she sad for her? Someone she just met? Thats can't be! It must be something else.
She saw a magic circle glowing and out of it came FOOD.
She didn't know what kind of food it was but her nose wouldn't lie to her.
The box was opened and, her would be king took a piece of it and dangled it before eating it right in front of her. Was this supposed to be torture? Why didn't she sense any evil intent from her then? How did she hide them?
Her train of thought was interrupted. "Please sit down and have some."
What? Sure she was mistaken? She looked at the steaming 'thing' that released an absolutely delicious mouth-watering aroma.
She looked back expecting a vicious smile or something else, yet her would be king kept waiting and motioning her to eat.
She could not believe it. She was being given such high-class food? Surely it was expensive. Then was she genuinely a nice person?
It was a concept that was difficult for little Shirone to comprehend. She checked again. There was not a bit of evil intent directed at her.
"....Really? I can eat?.... She whispered in a daze as if it would suddenly turn in to a nightmare.
"Of course," a gentle smile graced her would be king's face.
Her knees nearly gave out as she sat next to her would be king and began to devour the pizza with gusto unable to resist the pain of hunger any longer.
When she finished it all realizing it. she turned around and saw anger. A lot of anger, she froze. But the anger soon turned to confusion and then joy.
Another delicious round food was given to her. Her mouth dropped saliva without her knowing.
Traitorous Mouth.
Traitorous stomach.
Traitors the both of them.
"...Sorry.." She apologized hoping that she was not punished for dirtying the bed.
"It's alright."
Then her head was pet.
Nice head pats.
It's been so long since she got head pats.
"Tell me, what's your name?"
Her name?
".....shi.." "....ro...." " ....ne...." she said as she wondered what it was named as she bit into it chewy and cheesy bread and meat food.
Then came hard question.
"Alright, then would you like to join my peerage?
However, she was only thinking about her stomach at that time.
"......Can I eat food every day?"
She remembered her king giving her another hug as her sorrow nearly overwhelmed her.
She still remembers her king comforting her.
She was now very sure that she wouldn't get another chance out in hell. But she wanted to do one more test. One more test would let her judge whether she could trust her would be king.
And so she faked sleep.
Her would be king passed with Flying colors. Perhaps she could trust her after all.
The coming days she followed her would be king everywhere she went. For two reasons. One she didn't trust anyone else and two she wanted to observe and learn more about her future would be king.
She still remembers the day she was made into her queen and how she was asked if she was sure several times before the procedure went forward. No other devil would do something like that.
As days passed she grew more and more relaxed around her king or sempai as she requested to be called as helped her and talked to her as if she was her equal.
The HEAD PATS were the MOST important she got lots of head pats.
(Flash back no jutsu end)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
She resolved to stay by her sempai's side as her Queen. Her sempai gave her trust. Food. Took care of her. and treated her well and rescued her from the Mao's clutches. She would in turn happily follow her sempai where ever she may go. Even when sempai is stuck in this strange war between 14 people. Rias sempai didn't abandon me to my own fate. She provided her with training and trained with her.
Today's milky wake up was also especially nice.
She would continue to do her best as her sempai's most trusted Queen. No matter how strange she may behave.
She looked at her empty cone in wonder. She was sure she ordered 6 scoops. Where did her Icecream go?
Shirone began to reminisce about her time with her sempai as she ate her ice cream leisurely
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(Flash Back NO JUTSU)
Saying her King was an odd one was an understatement.
Not that it was a bad thing, however, compared to her previous king and the other devils she had encountered her current King was the kindest of them all perhaps too kind for a devil. Even the maids in the Gremory household treated her like an outsider.
At least until her King offered to make her, her queen. After she was Rias's Queen their treatment turned a 180. but she never trusted anyone, save for her nee-sama or sempai. This came as quite a surprise for Shirone. There was only one queen piece for each set.
The Queen piece also was the single most Valuable and powerful piece. So why waste such a piece on her?
There was nothing she could do even if her king had less than noble intentions for her.
She highly doubted that her King could surpass her Previous King and Sirzechs in how cruel and manipulative they were. She may look young but she knew that devils only valued strength, she also knew what actually happened to her sister. NO matter what Propaganda the Mao spread, she would bide her time and get stronger. Strong enough that one day she could make the Mao pay for spreading lies about her sister and locking her up.
The stronger one was the more one's words weight. That was the way the devil's worked.
Sirzechs and Lady Leviathans words were worth their weight in gold because of his overwhelming power.
They could destroy entire countries on a whim.
When she first met her king, she was injured and Lying on bed.
As she expected, Sirzechs offered her to her king on a silver platter.
However, what happened next surprised her.
Instead of claiming her then and there as a pawn for her plaything, she asked all the others to leave.
Her body trembled in sorrow. So her king wanted her body? They didn't even consider her a living thing!
As the would be king called her over patting her bed, she stumbled forward with wavy steps. Trying to delay the in inevitable even bit longer.
Her wounds and hunger left her tired hungry and hurt.
As she neared the bed her soon to be king seemed to take a closer look at her. but when Shirone saw her eyes. They were not filled with greed, lust or disgust rather they were filled with warmth and sorrow.
Unlike with other devils, all she could sense from her was warmth, joy, and sorrow. It was a well Kept-secret among the Nekoshou. There ability to sense the emotions of others. No other devil's currently alive knew of that ability other than her and nee-sama.
So when her soon to be king gave her a hug of all things needless to say she was quite surprised but was able to calm down knowing that she was different from other devils.
"It's alright, don't worry. Are you Hungry?" Was the first question she received.
*GROOOOWL* Her stomach had an absolutely terrible sense of timing.
Instead of getting angry, her soon to be king seemed to only grow more sorrowful. Why was she sad for her? Someone she just met? Thats can't be! It must be something else.
She saw a magic circle glowing and out of it came FOOD.
She didn't know what kind of food it was but her nose wouldn't lie to her.
The box was opened and, her would be king took a piece of it and dangled it before eating it right in front of her. Was this supposed to be torture? Why didn't she sense any evil intent from her then? How did she hide them?
Her train of thought was interrupted. "Please sit down and have some."
What? Sure she was mistaken? She looked at the steaming 'thing' that released an absolutely delicious mouth-watering aroma.
She looked back expecting a vicious smile or something else, yet her would be king kept waiting and motioning her to eat.
She could not believe it. She was being given such high-class food? Surely it was expensive. Then was she genuinely a nice person?
It was a concept that was difficult for little Shirone to comprehend. She checked again. There was not a bit of evil intent directed at her.
"....Really? I can eat?.... She whispered in a daze as if it would suddenly turn in to a nightmare.
"Of course," a gentle smile graced her would be king's face.
Her knees nearly gave out as she sat next to her would be king and began to devour the pizza with gusto unable to resist the pain of hunger any longer.
When she finished it all realizing it. she turned around and saw anger. A lot of anger, she froze. But the anger soon turned to confusion and then joy.
Another delicious round food was given to her. Her mouth dropped saliva without her knowing.
Traitorous Mouth.
Traitorous stomach.
Traitors the both of them.
"...Sorry.." She apologized hoping that she was not punished for dirtying the bed.
"It's alright."
Then her head was pet.
Nice head pats.
It's been so long since she got head pats.
"Tell me, what's your name?"
Her name?
".....shi.." "....ro...." " ....ne...." she said as she wondered what it was named as she bit into it chewy and cheesy bread and meat food.
Then came hard question.
"Alright, then would you like to join my peerage?
However, she was only thinking about her stomach at that time.
"......Can I eat food every day?"
She remembered her king giving her another hug as her sorrow nearly overwhelmed her.
She still remembers her king comforting her.
She was now very sure that she wouldn't get another chance out in hell. But she wanted to do one more test. One more test would let her judge whether she could trust her would be king.
And so she faked sleep.
Her would be king passed with Flying colors. Perhaps she could trust her after all.
The coming days she followed her would be king everywhere she went. For two reasons. One she didn't trust anyone else and two she wanted to observe and learn more about her future would be king.
She still remembers the day she was made into her queen and how she was asked if she was sure several times before the procedure went forward. No other devil would do something like that.
As days passed she grew more and more relaxed around her king or sempai as she requested to be called as helped her and talked to her as if she was her equal.
The HEAD PATS were the MOST important she got lots of head pats.
(Flash back no jutsu end)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
She resolved to stay by her sempai's side as her Queen. Her sempai gave her trust. Food. Took care of her. and treated her well and rescued her from the Mao's clutches. She would in turn happily follow her sempai where ever she may go. Even when sempai is stuck in this strange war between 14 people. Rias sempai didn't abandon me to my own fate. She provided her with training and trained with her.
Today's milky wake up was also especially nice.
She would continue to do her best as her sempai's most trusted Queen. No matter how strange she may behave.
She looked at her empty cone in wonder. She was sure she ordered 6 scoops. Where did her Icecream go?
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I really liked this chapter since it was mainly focused on Shirone's feelings making her feel more real.
I just remembered this now, but since Shirone and Rias are master and servant respectivly now. You could use the visions they get in their dreams to show us more of them while also making them grow closer
I just remembered this now, but since Shirone and Rias are master and servant respectivly now. You could use the visions they get in their dreams to show us more of them while also making them grow closer
