Holy moly guava moly, an update? Heck yeah! Ahhhh what a great christmas gift~
A BRand new day. High School DXD Self Insert (Gender Bender) Multi cross? Sort of.
- Thread starter Jaune Pendragon
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- indonesia
tajuu neko bunshin no jutsu
Rias is going to be soo OP when she returns.
13.2 The Birth of the King Of...
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
There doesn't seem to be anything happening tonight. Which kind of makes sense. In the Original timeline, Caster was kidnapping children and turning them to 'art.' Since I was summoned instead this did not happen.
I might as well get a bite to eat.
Slowly flying down into an alleyway and retracting my wings I began to walk trying to find a good place to eat...
Hmm. Eventually, I found a cozy little restaurant will a delicious smell wafting from it.
Upon entering though I saw the one person I didn't think I would see.
"Kotomine Kirei."
"Caster."
Kirei had not been corrupted yet so maybe I might be able to influence him?
I took the seat facing him and waited for the waiter to arrive.
"Is it delicious?" I asked eyeing the bowl of red hot Mapo Tofu.
I could smell the spice.
"Also, how the hell do you even eat that thing without any rice?" I said unable to hold back anymore. "Sorry, different people have different tastes I guess."
"I'm not offended, Caster."
"Good."
"......"
"....."
"You wish to speak to me?" He asked before taking another bite.
"Was it that obvious?"
"Indeed."
I let out a sigh before looking straight at him. "Kotomine Kirei." He paused sensing that I was about to say something important. Looks like before Gilgamesh corrupted him was quite well versed. "You find joy in other people's suffering."
"And what of it?"
"I think I might be able to help you." His eyes shot up, looking straight at me silently staring for a while.
"...you truly believe that..."
"Well, I can certainly try, whether you accept my advice is up to you."
"Why...why has God made me like this? I was taught to do good. To help the needy and the powerless. Yet I am unable to get any joy from it. I only feel joy in causing others suffering, yet I know it is a sin to harm the innocent without due cause."
"It's not your fault that you were born that way. There are people who are born completely blind, unable to perceive the beauty of the world God has created. There are those who are unable to speak not able to utter a single word, there are those who are born deaf, unable to hear the joyous sound of the birds chirping and the ocean waves. There are those who are unable to taste anything. So tell me Kotomine Kirei which of these favors of the Lord do you deny that was given to you?"
His eyes widened and he had stopped eating listening attentively to every word I was saying. Good, then I could get to the point.
"Yet these people do not give up, they continue trying to live their lives, and if they continue to struggle to do good then the Lord's reward shall be far greater than the one who was able to do it with ease. You might be a broken man Kotomine Kirei but the Lord has blessed you with knowledge. So that your reward may be far greater because you did the correct thing and was righteous even when you did not feel any joy or receive anything in return."
"I....I..see." His eyes turned back to his dish and he slowly began to resume eating.
"Besides. Who said that pain and suffering or causing someone discomfort had to be something that harms someone, or it should be a sin?"
"What do you mean?" His questioning gaze turned to me once more.
"For example, good medicine is quite bitter. When a parent gives the child a bitter medicine the child suffers for a short while because of how unpleasant the medicine was but it would be thanks to the medicine that the child would be cured of whatever might ail him. Then we have pain. Pain in itself is the body's warning system that lets the person know that something is wrong. If pain didn't exist then..."
"The person would not know that there is a problem." Kotomine finished.
"Indeed. and he cannot take any measures to fix the problem." I nodded giving a smile. "So if you wish to entertain yourself without doing sin, you could become a Dentist."
"A dentist?"
"Indeed taking care of once teeth is important, and a lot of people fear dentists because the tools used by them look very much like torture devices, just make sure that you are actually fixing what is wrong and not go beyond that. OR if you are raising a child you could make sure they eat a lot of vegetables, I hear children hate vegetables, yet their body requires them or perhaps if the child is quite prideful you could embarrass them by carrying them to school if it is a prideful child it would cause no end of embarrassment for them, oh and give them a hug and a kiss on the cheek in front of all the school kids while dropping them off. It would show them that you care for them but it would also cause no end of embarrassment. And if they do something wrong instead of hitting them give them something they dislike to do but is helpful like making them wash the dishes or cleaning the toilet. They will have to learn to do things like it eventually anyway. Then, of course, training them, training them will definitely cause physical pain but it will make them stronger in the end."
Kotomine was grinning right now. "Oh, interesting...tell me more...."
"Hmm, if like you could prank people, something not harmful but something that would embarrass them and that will make people laugh at them, the damage should be easily fixable though. Like hmm, say....dying someone's clothes a ridiculously bright color like pink or Orange. Filling someone's shampoo with itching powder."
Kirei had now started taking notes from a notebook he got from somewhere, grinning all the while...this was going to be so much fun oh the ideas I'm going to pass to him.
And so the King of Pranks of the Nasuverse was born...
Somewhere in Fuyuki, Tokiomi Tohsaka, Risei Kotomine, and Rin Tohsaka all shivered simultaneously.
I might as well get a bite to eat.
Slowly flying down into an alleyway and retracting my wings I began to walk trying to find a good place to eat...
Hmm. Eventually, I found a cozy little restaurant will a delicious smell wafting from it.
Upon entering though I saw the one person I didn't think I would see.
"Kotomine Kirei."
"Caster."
Kirei had not been corrupted yet so maybe I might be able to influence him?
I took the seat facing him and waited for the waiter to arrive.
"Is it delicious?" I asked eyeing the bowl of red hot Mapo Tofu.
I could smell the spice.
"Also, how the hell do you even eat that thing without any rice?" I said unable to hold back anymore. "Sorry, different people have different tastes I guess."
"I'm not offended, Caster."
"Good."
"......"
"....."
"You wish to speak to me?" He asked before taking another bite.
"Was it that obvious?"
"Indeed."
I let out a sigh before looking straight at him. "Kotomine Kirei." He paused sensing that I was about to say something important. Looks like before Gilgamesh corrupted him was quite well versed. "You find joy in other people's suffering."
"And what of it?"
"I think I might be able to help you." His eyes shot up, looking straight at me silently staring for a while.
"...you truly believe that..."
"Well, I can certainly try, whether you accept my advice is up to you."
"Why...why has God made me like this? I was taught to do good. To help the needy and the powerless. Yet I am unable to get any joy from it. I only feel joy in causing others suffering, yet I know it is a sin to harm the innocent without due cause."
"It's not your fault that you were born that way. There are people who are born completely blind, unable to perceive the beauty of the world God has created. There are those who are unable to speak not able to utter a single word, there are those who are born deaf, unable to hear the joyous sound of the birds chirping and the ocean waves. There are those who are unable to taste anything. So tell me Kotomine Kirei which of these favors of the Lord do you deny that was given to you?"
His eyes widened and he had stopped eating listening attentively to every word I was saying. Good, then I could get to the point.
"Yet these people do not give up, they continue trying to live their lives, and if they continue to struggle to do good then the Lord's reward shall be far greater than the one who was able to do it with ease. You might be a broken man Kotomine Kirei but the Lord has blessed you with knowledge. So that your reward may be far greater because you did the correct thing and was righteous even when you did not feel any joy or receive anything in return."
"I....I..see." His eyes turned back to his dish and he slowly began to resume eating.
"Besides. Who said that pain and suffering or causing someone discomfort had to be something that harms someone, or it should be a sin?"
"What do you mean?" His questioning gaze turned to me once more.
"For example, good medicine is quite bitter. When a parent gives the child a bitter medicine the child suffers for a short while because of how unpleasant the medicine was but it would be thanks to the medicine that the child would be cured of whatever might ail him. Then we have pain. Pain in itself is the body's warning system that lets the person know that something is wrong. If pain didn't exist then..."
"The person would not know that there is a problem." Kotomine finished.
"Indeed. and he cannot take any measures to fix the problem." I nodded giving a smile. "So if you wish to entertain yourself without doing sin, you could become a Dentist."
"A dentist?"
"Indeed taking care of once teeth is important, and a lot of people fear dentists because the tools used by them look very much like torture devices, just make sure that you are actually fixing what is wrong and not go beyond that. OR if you are raising a child you could make sure they eat a lot of vegetables, I hear children hate vegetables, yet their body requires them or perhaps if the child is quite prideful you could embarrass them by carrying them to school if it is a prideful child it would cause no end of embarrassment for them, oh and give them a hug and a kiss on the cheek in front of all the school kids while dropping them off. It would show them that you care for them but it would also cause no end of embarrassment. And if they do something wrong instead of hitting them give them something they dislike to do but is helpful like making them wash the dishes or cleaning the toilet. They will have to learn to do things like it eventually anyway. Then, of course, training them, training them will definitely cause physical pain but it will make them stronger in the end."
Kotomine was grinning right now. "Oh, interesting...tell me more...."
"Hmm, if like you could prank people, something not harmful but something that would embarrass them and that will make people laugh at them, the damage should be easily fixable though. Like hmm, say....dying someone's clothes a ridiculously bright color like pink or Orange. Filling someone's shampoo with itching powder."
Kirei had now started taking notes from a notebook he got from somewhere, grinning all the while...this was going to be so much fun oh the ideas I'm going to pass to him.
And so the King of Pranks of the Nasuverse was born...
Somewhere in Fuyuki, Tokiomi Tohsaka, Risei Kotomine, and Rin Tohsaka all shivered simultaneously.
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- Location
- Barquisimeto
I think that Rin would prefer canon Kirie to this.
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
I know that's why I did it. This way atleast even if Tokiomi and Aoi do die he would make sure to give her proper "care".
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- Location
- Barquisimeto
Kirie=Super Dad, his powers include tell his adopted child to use protection when she has a boyfriend, ask every single boy if he is her boyfriend and be disappointed when he is not and act as he will never have grandkids, show child pictures and embarrassing pictures alongside stories about Rin, hell he could tell how he used to cure away her boo boos with a kiss and that is in front of her friends and co-workers.
The worst part, is that Rin doesn't have excuses to hate Kirie because he really acted like a parent and raised her as the best of his capabilities as probably one of the best dads of the whole world. He just did a too well job and if he died I am sure that Rin would sincerely cry tears of sadness.
Best plan of Kirie
Edit: I will crosspost this the guys on QQ will love it.
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Nano Soldier
Seeker of Freedom
- Location
- Stoke, England, United Kingdom
You...saved Kerie Kotomine's soul....by making him a prankster?!
You magnificent woman.
You magnificent woman.
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
I know that was the plan.... XD
- Location
- indonesia
shirou emiya I'm gonna ask you one thing and one thing only...……. how many harem member do you have cuz your father have 2
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
- Location
- indonesia
when rin bring shirou home and kiritsugu does have a harem ilya mom and his assistant
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
oh..right Maiya...
- Location
- Bettendorf, Iowa
No it's preparing her for her apprenticeship
Tale Swapper
(Unverified Madman)
- Location
- Lost Among a Sea of Imaginings and Dreams
"Yeah, my adoptive dad was worse than you. And no, that wasn't a challenge, master."
- Location
- Australia
Kotomine could open a restaurant specialising in spicy food. Have some menu items that require a waiver to be signed before eating, and have some challenges to get average people involved. Like "finish this bowl and it's free" or "if you finish this your photo goes on the wall".
Or a job as a corporate downsizer, being hired to go from company to company to fire people.
I'm sure the nasuverse church could use a man who likes to inflict suffering.
A personal trainer that pushes people extremely hard.
Or a job as a corporate downsizer, being hired to go from company to company to fire people.
I'm sure the nasuverse church could use a man who likes to inflict suffering.
A personal trainer that pushes people extremely hard.
- Location
- Florida
Let's hope he teaches his daughter too. Plus I now want Rin to grow up knowing Caren. Inagine how amusing reading about those two sadists trolling the hell out of Rin would be!
13.3 Mini intelude
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
Kotomine Kirei was officially out of the war. Almost all of the Hassans have been killed by Rider's Noble Phantasm, but he still has a few remaining. Right now though he was trying out some of the Idea's Merlin had given him.
And it was glorious. Tokiomi's hair was bright orange, and the man himself hasn't even noticed it yet. Truly Assassin was a master of stealth.
"Tokiomi...." Risei's voice died out as his eyes widened in surprise at the bright colour of Tokiomis hair but he managed to ignore it thinking that it was something to to with the mage-craft of the magus, and continued with his business.
Tokiomi finally noticed it when Gilgamesh had arrived. When the king saw the hair of his master painted in such a ridiculous colour and for the first time since he had been summoned to this world let out a loud belly laugh.
"HAhahahahaha! Truly amusing Tokiomi, such a colour indeed suits you. Whoever did so knew that you needed some excitement in your truly bland life. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I praise the person who did such a thing! They would make an excellent jester in my court."
Coming from the arrogant King this was akin to getting a medal honour.
Gilgamesh seemed to know it was him from the approving look the king gave him but remained silent about his involvement.
"MY HAIR!" He screamed to the heavens.
Even his wife seemed to be struggling to hold in her laughter when she saw him and helped her husband try to wash off his bright orange hair.
Tokiomi tried washing his hair with water.
It did not wash off.
He used soap and water.
It still did not wash off.
He used shampoo.
It did not wash off.
He used rubbing Alcohol,
It still did not wash off.
He didn't dare try a magical means, it could damage his precious hair.
"I heard that Oranges and Lemons are good at cleaning," Kotomine suggested. Outwardly he was stoic as ever, but there was a slight grin on his face that could only be found if someone was looking for it.
"I suppose it can't hurt to try," Risei admitted.
Aoi giggled and Tokiomi let out a sigh.
His wife helped him juice Oranges and lemons and finally, finally, the paint began to wash off.
But for the rest of the week, Tokiomi's hair would smell like oranges and lemons.
The pranking kit that was gifted to him from Merlin was truly something he came to enjoy using with assassins stealth skills.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The founders of the Hassans would be rolling in their graves right now from the way their art of stealth was being used. But for the Hassan of the Hundred Personas, however, it was something new for her.
Her master seemed to be using her Power not just for murder but to bring smiles and laughter.
Even the arrogant King of Heroes had burst out laughing.
It was...refreshing to use her power for something other than murder...and it seemed fun...
She didn't know how much fun she would be having in the coming years...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In Ryuudou temple.
Shirone, Kariya, Sakura and I were having a hearty breakfast of Rice and curry.
"MY HAIR!"
Kariya stopped eating midway his eyes wide turning towards the sound. "Holy Hell, was that Tokiomi? Damn whoever messed with his hair must have balls of Titanium. That man guards his hair ever more zealously than his own magic."
Well, looks like Kirei didn't waste any time making use of my little present. Only time will tell whether my plan worked.
And it was glorious. Tokiomi's hair was bright orange, and the man himself hasn't even noticed it yet. Truly Assassin was a master of stealth.
"Tokiomi...." Risei's voice died out as his eyes widened in surprise at the bright colour of Tokiomis hair but he managed to ignore it thinking that it was something to to with the mage-craft of the magus, and continued with his business.
Tokiomi finally noticed it when Gilgamesh had arrived. When the king saw the hair of his master painted in such a ridiculous colour and for the first time since he had been summoned to this world let out a loud belly laugh.
"HAhahahahaha! Truly amusing Tokiomi, such a colour indeed suits you. Whoever did so knew that you needed some excitement in your truly bland life. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I praise the person who did such a thing! They would make an excellent jester in my court."
Coming from the arrogant King this was akin to getting a medal honour.
Gilgamesh seemed to know it was him from the approving look the king gave him but remained silent about his involvement.
"MY HAIR!" He screamed to the heavens.
Even his wife seemed to be struggling to hold in her laughter when she saw him and helped her husband try to wash off his bright orange hair.
Tokiomi tried washing his hair with water.
It did not wash off.
He used soap and water.
It still did not wash off.
He used shampoo.
It did not wash off.
He used rubbing Alcohol,
It still did not wash off.
He didn't dare try a magical means, it could damage his precious hair.
"I heard that Oranges and Lemons are good at cleaning," Kotomine suggested. Outwardly he was stoic as ever, but there was a slight grin on his face that could only be found if someone was looking for it.
"I suppose it can't hurt to try," Risei admitted.
Aoi giggled and Tokiomi let out a sigh.
His wife helped him juice Oranges and lemons and finally, finally, the paint began to wash off.
But for the rest of the week, Tokiomi's hair would smell like oranges and lemons.
The pranking kit that was gifted to him from Merlin was truly something he came to enjoy using with assassins stealth skills.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The founders of the Hassans would be rolling in their graves right now from the way their art of stealth was being used. But for the Hassan of the Hundred Personas, however, it was something new for her.
Her master seemed to be using her Power not just for murder but to bring smiles and laughter.
Even the arrogant King of Heroes had burst out laughing.
It was...refreshing to use her power for something other than murder...and it seemed fun...
She didn't know how much fun she would be having in the coming years...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In Ryuudou temple.
Shirone, Kariya, Sakura and I were having a hearty breakfast of Rice and curry.
"MY HAIR!"
Kariya stopped eating midway his eyes wide turning towards the sound. "Holy Hell, was that Tokiomi? Damn whoever messed with his hair must have balls of Titanium. That man guards his hair ever more zealously than his own magic."
Well, looks like Kirei didn't waste any time making use of my little present. Only time will tell whether my plan worked.
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- Location
- indonesia
somewhere in elemental nation in certain ramen shop
"whats wrong Naruto"said the owner of the ramen shop when his number one costumer suddenly stop eating
"there is new beliver in the way of prank.... jiji, ten more bowl please"
"whats wrong Naruto"said the owner of the ramen shop when his number one costumer suddenly stop eating
"there is new beliver in the way of prank.... jiji, ten more bowl please"
.....The FATE of this story
Jaune Pendragon
King Of Servants
- Location
- Avalon
I hope it was worth the wait..This story will be continued as long as I have a connection to the internet and I am physically capable of typing..even if I do take a bit long rewriting and editing. I hope my writing has gotten better? Thank you all my Patreons!
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Saved Kotomine...by turning him into a sadistic prankser...right as Artoria was thinking the MC can't possibly really be Merlin because of the lack of pranks. Welp.