Another story I heard about myself!
this one happened in my first real job,
We had this boss whose daughter also worked with us.
His name was Dr. Eggman and daughter Belle went to our job
She was many years younger than me
(Shows Eggman and Belle, an arrow pointing them out respectively)
And now Eggman, he was an asshole
and one weekend he and two of his minions decided to leave town,
which you should never do if you're an asshole.
(Shows Eggman, Orbot and Cubot planning a personal mission and leaving Belle in charge)
And Belle decided to throw a party at the boss' base
Hurrah!!
And everyone in the Empire heard about it, and we all got up individually and thought:
Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place.
(Shows Belle using a group chat to ask about the party. Everyone sees it, looks at who they are closest to and get mischievous grins)
I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there,
and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world.
People were drinking like a bunch of Mutants were attacking and a doctor was coming to tell us we weren't making it.
(Shows a bunch of people chugging down beers, joking around and in general having a good time at Eggman's secret base as Rouge walks in)
It was totally unsupervised;
We were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.
I walked down-I walk down to the basement,
they had a pool table in the basement,
One dude took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.
(Metal turns to Isara, tells her to hold his beer and then jumps onto the pool table, shattering it)
Another guy found out which room was Eggman's and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer.
(Cassia and Honey pass by Eggman's room trying to find the kitchen and open it in their confusion, before slowly turning to each other with evil grins)
So the party was going great.
I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup,
you've seen movies,
and I'm standing there, and I'm holding a red cup
and I'm starting to black out.
And I guess someone said like "something, something GUN"
and in a brilliant moment of word association,
I yelled "f*ck da GUN!"
"f*ck da GUN!"
(Rouge is standing around looking a little out of it when a nervous looking Stone taps on her shoulder, making her look around before shouting)
and everyone else joined in.
(Everyone else is seen joining in)
A ton of drunk idiots yelling "f*ck da GUN"
with the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore.
You know that like "I served my nickel, you come and take me" confidence,
but mostly idiots.
The reason someone had said "something, something GUN" was because GUN were there.
(It shows an even more nervous looking Stone chuckling Awkwardly as Commander Walters blinks a bit in surprise and enters)
So a GUN agent walked down the stairs, and got to the bottom of the basement
and looked out over a sea of drunk buffoons yelling "f*ck da GUN" in his face,
and he was almost impressed
he was like "wow".
(Walters blinks a bit more as a Motobug cackled in his face)
And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went "get the paddy wagon".
(A bunch of other Agents file in)
And my sort of friend Rusty, dude is normally pretty stoic- this was so weird
She grabbed a lamp, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!"
(Rusty is seen grabbing a lamp and throwing it to the ground before running off)
And everyone ran in a different direction,
we all ran in different directions.
It was like that scene in Ratatouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways,
We all ran in different directions.
(Everyone else also runs, yelping and screaming)
I ran into the laundry room, and I jumped on the washing machine, and I crawled out through a window into the backyard
and now I'm running through the backyard and there's this big chain-linked fence
and I thought "I've never climbed a fence that high before"
and then I woke up at home.
(Rogue scrambles into the laundry room and jumps out a window before it smash cuts to her in her room)
On Monday, I went to work
because that's what we did back then.
And I'm walking into the plant and who do I see, but Belle
and she says to me "hey, were you at my party on Saturday?"
and I said "no", you know, like a liar.
(Belle Frantically whimpers at Rouge, who lies blatantly)
And she said "things got really out of hand… someone broke the pool table… someone took a shit on my dad's computer…"
(Rouge visibly resists the urge to laugh as Belle Despairs)
"but the worst thing", she says, "the worse thing is that someone stole these old antique photos of my great-grandfather, and my Dad is really freaking out about it."
And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have,
did-did I do that?
(Rouge seems to feel a little bad as she looks worried and Belle Wails)
I figured no, I wouldn't have done that,
but I was never sure until, 2 years later.
I'm playing video games with my buddy named Goro Majima that we also went to work with
2 years later, we've been promoted by now.
We're playing video games for a couple hours and then Majima says to me,
"Hey, come here. I want to show you something."
And then he takes me into his bedroom, and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom.
Never a good thing to have.
(Rouge and Majima are sitting around playing video games, when the Yakuza member abruptly gets up, Rouge shrugging and following, looking a bit worried at the side room)
He shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years.
(Rouge looks horrified at the large room of stolen photos)
And I said "why?" "Why do you do this?"
(Rouge turns to Majima)
And Majima said, "because it's the one thing you can't replace."
(Majima chuckled softly with a demented grin)
That's the end of that story, but how fucked up is that? right?
That's crazy!
(A little skit recreation)
www.tumblr.com
