Dungeon Crawler You!

"All in all, it's up to you," Levi said, looking at Drew. "If you take Wizard Supremacist then you could get an extremely powerful attack spell, at least one strong defensive spell, and a wide array of other things. Keep your bident in your inventory, don't do anything stupid, and you're likely fine."

"I'll think on it," Drew said, leaning back and toking on his joint. "What about you guys?" His voice was very relaxed.

Taylor eyed his friend worriedly for a moment, but let it go.

"Okay," Taylor said, "does anyone disagree that Leo should take Wheeler Dealer and I should take Sysop? That Rollup skill lets her turn low-level boxes into high-level boxes and Sysop lets me transfer boxes from other people to her in order to get rolled up. That, plus all the other bullshit that Sysop can do says to me that we need this combo. Yes?"

He looked around and got three nods of agreement and a 'hey, why aren't you petting me?' nudge from Moose. He obediently started petting his giant wooly mammoth friend.

"If you do that, maybe I take Banana Farmer," Drew said. "Seed Spray gives ranged damage, the 'animate trees' power give us disposable bodyguards, it's got wide-area detection powers, and I can make the bananas explode. Plus, it sounds hilarious and it doesn't have that huge problem that Wizard Supewhatever does where I blow up if I swat a fly."

"I think you should take Mystic Scholar," Taylor said, ignoring Drew's hyperbole. "You could make scrolls and spellbooks so that we can all use each other's spells. Plus, we could sell them. Levi was saying that money is a good survival mechanic in the dungeon." Plus, he didn't say, you could make a spellbook of Create Spellbook so we can keep access to that after this floor. He didn't say it out loud for fear that Borant would preemptively patch the exploit if it was called to their attention.

"Yeah," Calliope said, her voice doubtful. "Except it means we don't have a lot of punch between us. This Rollup combo is going to give us a lot of power, later. Right now we'd be working with the same gear we had on the second floor except we're probably facing tougher mobs."

Taylor looked to Levi; their manager nodded confirmation.

"Takes us back to Wizard Supremacist," Drew said, pulling up the option. "It's got punch for days, and there's so many abilities that even if I don't get all of them I'll probably get something good."

"Huh," Taylor said. "That's pretty smar..." He trailed off mid-word and sat silently, feeling like he'd just been thwacked with a 2x4.

"Unc?" Calliope asked. "You okay?"

"Levi," Taylor said, "you mentioned that when Moose hits level 60 he'll have an Intelligence of 2, which will make him count as sapient, which means he'll be able to use chat and you'll be able to turn his inventory on so that he can open loot boxes. When that happens, will he be able to get a class and a race?"

Levi shook his head. "No. Everyone only gets one shot at path selection, and that's immediately after arriving on the third floor." He caught himself. "Well, technically there's specialization on the sixth floor. Some classes and races are expected to specialize when they reach the sixth floor. It tweaks their abilities in various ways and powers them up. But it's not full path selection."

Damn. "So if Moose were sapient right now—if he had an Intelligence of 2—then he would be able to pick a class and race, but if he doesn't do it now then he won't be able to later. Yes?"

"Right. Once he leaves this room, he doesn't get to go again." Levi's eyes flickered as he scrolled through menus. "Also, it looks like 'Dog' is an option for race, but it doesn't get a specialization."

"What if he became sapient before leaving this room?" Taylor asked. "If we can get him another two points of Intelligence right now, that would do it, right?"

Levi shook his head. "I mean, yeah, probably, but there's no way. You've got two items that give the necessary bonus but he can't wear the beanie because it's not a canine item and he doesn't have fingers so he can't put on the Mutable Ring. Plus, I'm pretty sure it needs to be his base Intelligence, not the effective number."

"Sysop would allow me to copy an actionable from one crawler to another," Taylor reminded him. "It would shut off my powers for the rest of the floor, but I could do it. Stat bonuses are actionables, right?"

Levi's eyestalks stood straight up. "Yeah," he said, dragging the word out. "Yeah, I think that might actually work. Wow, that class is so nuts." His eyes flickered. "Except it says that you can't be in a safe room while you're using that power."

"Oh," Taylor said, deflating. "Damn."

A slow and secret smile crept onto Levi's face. "Let's figure out the rest of you. Drew, I think you were right: you should choose Wizard Supremacist as your class for this floor in order to give the party some punch. In fact, why don't you do that now? You're probably only going to get some of the abilities, not all of them. If we know which ones you're getting then Calliope and Taylor can tailor their choices around you."

"Never heard that one before," Taylor muttered.

"S'okay, dude," Drew said, taking a hit on his joint and holding it. He tapped at the air for a moment; there was a short burst of golden light and a faint tan-tan-ta-ra!

"What did you get?" Levi asked.

"Most of it," Drew said. "In fact, everything except the Mystic Assault skill, the Empowerment spell, and the two picks from the spell list where they name the spells. I got the two picks off that list at the bottom, though. Oh, and the Shield and Annihilation Dart spells, so I can do the damage thing." He fired off a series of finger guns, John Woo style. "Pew, pew, pew! Oh, hey, anybody want nachos? I want nachos." He looked sad for a moment, then brightened. He held out his hands and a massive bowl filled with cheese and chips and other fixings appeared from his inventory. He silently offered it around; Taylor and Levi waved him off but Calliope happily took a small plateful.

Once the byplay was finished, Levi nodded. "Cool, glad you got all that. Shield and Dart are excellent combat spells, and you'll be providing all the firepower anyone could ask for. You said you got two picks off an options list. What are the options?"

Drew read them off around noisy mouthfuls of cheesy chips. The group discussed them and choices were made; compared to the drawn-out nature of race and class selection, it was a breeze. The entire process took less than ten minutes.

"Good enough," Levi said. "Taylor, Calliope, all that's left is your race selection. Drew's got damage covered, so you guys are free to invest in more utility-oriented things. You'll need to choose options that unlock Earth classes, but that's the only limit."

"Pity," Taylor said. "Leo, I wanted you to take Tortugan. The idea of a seven-foot giant tortoise riding around on a skateboard was hilarious." Plus, that race had a huge Constitution bonus and heavy armor, making her vastly more survivable. He hadn't forgotten his promise to Danielle.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "No way, Unc. Ima go catkin all the way."

"You sure?" Taylor asked. "Some of these other options look pretty amazing. Look at Chronan; it gives you literal time powers. Those are always broken."

"Yeah, but the best ones aren't available for ages," she said. "Level 20 for Time Cube, 30 for Borrowed Time, and 40 for Time Rip. Plus, Time Cube is too small to trap an opponent in until I've leveled my Intelligence forever." Her eyes did not flicker with the glow of interface access, nor did she glance at the display where Levi had pulled up the description of the race.

"No way to know what you'll get from catkin," Drew said. He blew a smoke ring and watched it rise to the ceiling. "Total lottery. It's the antiwhat."

"First of all, ew. Don't try to talk like me," Calliope said. "It's weird. Second, catkin will get me good socials. Levi said that's the only way to survive in here."

"I did not say that!" Levi yelped. He hesitated, thinking. "Or, if I did, then I was oversimplifying. Yes, you need to get an audience, but that's a long-term thing. You also need to survive the short term. Chronan is a good race. Sure, it's got a ramp to get to the more powerful abilities, but you start off with the Haste Self spell. That's excellent for someone like you, who can fight both in melee and at range. It lets you pick the engagement distance that's most inconvenient for your opponent."

"Doppelganger sounded cool," Drew said. His voice was getting dreamy. "You'd be like the Terminator. Not the Ahnold one, the metal one. That guy was badass."

"He's right," Levi said. "It's hard to do an apples-to-apples, but doppleganger might be the most powerful race on your list."

"Eh," Calliope said. She reached out and tapped the air. "There. Choice locked in. I'm a catkin."

"Damnit, Calliope!" Taylor said. "We talk about these things!"

She shrugged, unrepentant. "End of the day, it's my body and my choice. You support the 'my body, my choice' thing, right Unc?"

"That is not the same thing and you know it," he said, voice hard and cold.

"Why not?"

"Because..." That was actually a good question. "Because it's not just you on the line here. We need to decide this stuff as a group. Find synergy so that we are more than the sum of our parts."

She shrugged again. "At some point, we have to make a decision and this is mine. Now, we're burning time. Do you want to keep scolding me or do you want to nail down your choice and get out there?"

Taylor forced his fists and jaw to unclench and made himself take several deep breaths. "Fine. Let's do this."


With much griping and complaining, Levi had climbed back into his formal clothes. He dusted off the hat, slipped his ears through the slots and made sure the hat was balanced properly so it didn't pull on his delicate ears.

"You ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be," Taylor said.

Levi nodded and pulled the door open, stepping through with a dramatic flourish. Taylor Blue followed him through without bothering to elaborate his motions.

On the other side of the door was a dirt road with one- and two-storey wooden buildings running along both sides. It could have come straight off the studio lot of any Western film ever made, except it sprawled more. An eclectic mix of people were passing by—a handful of elves, a lion-headed humanoid, and something that looked like a tumbleweed made out of snakes that moved by biting the ground and rolling itself. Overhead, Taylor could see three humanoid eagles; one was swooping and spinning like a dancer and the other two were clearly moving with purpose from one building to another.

"Your attention, please!" Levi cried. "It gives me great pleasure to announce: Taylor Stone, the Level 15 Multacorpalan Sysop!"

A few people glanced over with dim interest, then continued on their way.

Taylor Blue deflated. He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but that wasn't it. Maybe if he'd brought both bodies out simultaneously? (Mutacorpalan was bullshit.)

"And now we wait," Levi said with a sigh. He unfolded a camp stool and sat down, leaning back against the wall of the guild and closing his eyes.

Taylor sat down crosslegged, facing the door. Path selection did not end until all crawlers had exited the room and, so long as it continued, no one could see, or send chat messages, in or out of the guild hall. As a result, all that either of his bodies could see in the doorway was a shimmering blue field with golden sparks skittering and crackling through it. That, and a massive paw and a celadon-green hand that were stretched through the blue field.

He scooted as close as he could get and placed a hand on both the paw and the green-skinned hand. He let his eyes fall closed and tried to relax.


Moose: MOOSE LOVES YOU, TAYLOR AND CALLIOPE AND DREW!

Taylor laughed and thumped the massive dog on the shoulder, just behind where his brand-new peytral opened out to provide freedom of movement. The armor gleamed silver and blue in the bright sun of the Overcity as the team walked out of town. "Love you too, buddy."

Levi and Taylor had spent an hour sitting outside the guild while Taylor waited for his Sysop power to activate and copy one of Drew's class features, the Intelligence boost granted by Wizard Supremacist, over to Moose. They had then waited another three hours while Levi and the humans guided a very excited and newly-sapient dog through the process of selecting a race and class. Moose had been especially excited after discovering the chat system; this was the fourth time he had messaged the humans about his affectionate feelings for them.

Moose: MOOSE LIKES YOU, RABBIT GUY! MOOSE MIGHT LOVE YOU LATER, AFTER MOOSE KNOWS YOU MORE! YOU SMELL GOOD!

Drew, Moose, Calliope, and Taylor Gold (as distinct from his original body that had been dubbed Taylor Blue for clarity) had only just now left the guild hall, thereby ending path selection. This had removed the block on sending chat messages in or out of the guild and enabled Moose to message Levi directly instead of sending the message to Taylor Gold, who would then repeat the message aloud through the Taylor Blue body that was outside the guild hall. (The Multacorpalan race and its multiple-body powers were absolute bullshit.)

Levi: Drew, didn't your class give you a +20 boost to Intelligence?

Drew: Yup. Why?

Levi: Taylor, that's the bonus that you copied to Moose, right?

Taylor: Yup.

Levi: Moose, the average human has an Intelligence of 4. Yours is 20.

Moose: YES! MOOSE IS SMART BRAIN DOG! THANK YOU FOR MOOSE SMART BRAIN, TAYLOR AND DREW! MOOSE LIKES BEING SMART BRAIN! MOOSE ALSO LIKES BACON! AND SCRITCHES! GIB BACON AND SCRITCHES PLEASE!

Moose spun in a circle, chasing after his own tail and huffing in excitement. Fortunately, the street was wide and the various passersby had been giving the enormous dog plenty of space, so no one was sent flying. Granted, Drew and Calliope and Taylor needed to move quickly to avoid being struck.

Levi: This is a joke, right? You're putting us on with this dumb dog act?

Moose: MOOSE IS NOT DUMB! MOOSE IS SMART! RABBIT GUY SHOULD NOT CALL MOOSE DUMB! MOM ALWAYS TOLD TAYLOR AND DANNI THAT CALLING PEOPLE DUMB IS NOT NICE! MOOSE IS NOT SURE HE LIKES RABBIT GUY NOW!

Levi: Ohhhhkay. Well, the intelligence scale is different between races sometimes. An Intelligence of 4 doesn't mean the same thing for a human and a marlok. (They're an alien species. They look like clams with legs and a prehensile tongue.)

Calliope: Gross. I bet they smell like stank.

Moose: MOOSE BETS THEY SMELL YUMMY! MOST THINGS SMELL YUMMY! EXCEPT TOMATOES! TOMATOES ARE BAD! MOOSE DOES NOT LIKE TOMATOES!

Levi: Actually, yeah, martoks smell gross. Kinda like salty barf. Only time I ever regretted being a manager.

"Here we are," Taylor said, speaking through both mouths at once because why wouldn't he and it was fun watching everyone look freaked out. He switched to alternating as he said, "Edge of town, beginning of terra incognita, gateway to adventure—"

"Unc, would you please stop switching between bodies for each word?" Calliope begged.

Taylor turned inward, facing Calliope's front and back simultaneously, enjoying the way he could watch behind himself from both directions. "Why wouldn't I—" / "—switch? Besides—" / "—I'm not actually switching. There's—" / "—only one of me."

"It's friggin' weird," she griped. "Especially since there's one of you on each side of me so the words come from different directions."

"Hmph," Taylor double-said, speaking through both Blue and Gold and folding all four of his arms with twinned expressions of offense. He did, however, take mercy on her enough to speak only through Blue (the one she was facing) when he said, "Do I ask you to only use one hand to pick things up? Noooo. No, I do not."

"Don't be a buttcheek, Unc."

He chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'll be nice," he said through Blue.

Taylor: Levi, we're at the edge of town. Any advice before we leave, as you called it, 'this useless little place'?

Levi: I didn't say it was useless. I said that small towns are expensive and have limited inventory in the shops so it's more useful to go to one of the bigger settlements. And my advice is the same as it was before: Go on the road or through the ruins, your choice, but get to the next settlement by sundown. Message me when you can see the place and do not go into a safe room until you get there, and warn me before you do.

Calliope: Geez, Levi. We get it. You don't want to be teleported without warning. We get it, we get it. You don't have to throw down about it.

Levi: That's not remotely what I'm doing. Now go on, git. I've got stuff to do.

---

Vote time! You're voting for two things: where you're going and how you're getting there.

The third floor is an open-world level consisting of a lot of towns connected by roads. The towns come in three sizes: small, medium, and large. Small towns have expensive shops with poor selection and little in the way of opportunity. On the other hand, they are generally fairly safe. Large towns are the opposite on all points, and medium towns balance risk and opportunity. The area between the towns is ruins—the conceit of this floor is that the entire area used to be a massive metropolis that was destroyed in Scolopendra's nine-tier attack, leaving only isolated pockets of civilization behind. The ruins are infested with mobs, dangerous ones by day and more dangerous ones by night.

If you commit a crime in a town, the guards will attack you. They are essentially unbeatable at your current level, so if you piss them off then the only solution is to run for it. They will not follow you out of the town and they do not communicate with guards in other towns, although their aggro does not go away.

There are two towns nearby, one medium and one large. Levi's initial suggestion was that you go to the medium town first, as a way of getting your feet wet with a decent balance of risk and reward. After some discussion, he admitted that the timers on this floor are very short and you've already burned a lot of time on path selection, so it might make more sense to go straight to the large town where the best opportunities will be. He left it up to you which way to go and whether to stick on the roads (which are safe and will get you there quickly) or cut through the ruins, which is a route that is simulatneously more dangerous and more direct, although still slower due to worse terrain.

There are two votes going on:

[] (Where) Medium
[] (Where) Large


[] (How) Roads
[] (How) Ruins


New Achievement! Discordian Delight
You are invited to drop by the #dungeon-crawler-you channel in the Quests and Stuff Discord. (That second link is an invite to the server.)

A few hours before the group left town...

"Hawoo!" Moose yelped, eyes wide with incipient panic. His right paw was sticking through the blue field in the doorway and would not come back through when he pulled on it. He struggled, pushing at the field and scrabbling with his other limbs.

"Moose, no!" Taylor said from behind him. "Stay where you are, boy. Don't move forward. You won't be able to pull back anything that goes through the field and if your head goes through then you won't be able to do path selection."

Moose looked frantically around for his person, clearly freaked out and eager for reassurance, but his trapped paw meant that he couldn't twist his body far enough to see behind him. Taylor squeezed up against the wall so he was in Moose's field of vision. Calliope petted his flank.

"It's okay, boy," Taylor said, stroking Moose's head. "Do you understand me?"

Moose nodded, his breathing slowing as he leaned into the petting. He stayed there for a long time, man and dog basking in their connection while Moose's heart stopped racing. After a bit he sat up again and woofed, then gave Taylor an extra slobbery lick before panting in happy amusement.

"Good boy," Taylor said. "You're going to see a bunch of options show up in front of you, okay? Don't panic. And don't choose anything yet."

"Huff."

Moose's eyes started to flicker as racial options scrolled in front of him. He raised his non-trapped paw and swiped experimentally at the air.

"Good boy," Taylor said again. "Now, can you use the chat system?"

Moose: MOOSE LOVES YOU, TAYLOR AND CALLIOPE AND DREW!

Taylor startled and laughed, petting Moose's head and scritching behind an ear the size of a hand towel. "Love you too, big guy. Okay, now, I want you to chat me a copy of your—damnit, Moose! No! Bad dog!"

Midway through Taylor's words, a flickering glow washed over Moose and his body shifted as his new race settled into place. His fur was slightly more wiry, his tail was straight instead of curled, and, oh yes, he was now almost two feet wider thanks to the fur-covered wings pressed to his sides.

Moose: MOOSE IS NOT BAD DOG! TAYLOR NOT BE MAD! MOOSE IS GOOD DOG! MOOSE IS SMART DOG! MOOSE PROTECTS TAYLOR AND CALLIOPE AND DREW GOODER NOW!

Crawler #6. "Moose"
Level 16
Race: Aralez (Tibetan Mastiff/Rottweiler/Golden Retriever)
Class: Pet

"I mean, he's not wrong," Drew said. "Flying battle dog sounds pretty damn awesome." The stoner was lying on the floor next to Moose, one arm stretched forward with his hand across the door's threshold and the field that covered it. It had been necessary so that one of Taylor could be outside the safe room and therefore could use his Sysop power to copy Drew's class-granted Intelligence boost over to Moose. It was inconvenient and uncomfortable, but Moose was now sapient and able to choose a race and class. It would make the dog much more survivable in the dungeon.

Taylor took a deep breath and let it out slowly, scrubbing at his face with one hand as he did. "Okay, fine," he said. "Moose, do not choose a class yet, okay? We need to talk about this as a group. We want to get some synergy."

Moose: TAYLOR TALK IS BIG! WHAT IS 'SINNY-THINGY'?

Taylor gave him a narrow-eyed look but didn't question. "Synergy. It means that we want to make sure that your class works well with what everyone else picked. Okay?"

Moose: OKAY!

"You know you don't need to chat in all caps, right?" Taylor asked. "It makes you sound like you're shouting."

Moose: MOOSE IS NOT SHOUTING! MOOSE IS EXCITED! AND MOOSE TALK THINGY IS LIKE THIS! MOOSE SORRY IF MOOSE IS BEING BAD!

The dog whined piteously and snooted Taylor, almost knocking him over.

Taylor laughed and gently pushed Moose's head away. "It's okay. Now, let's take a look at your classes. We can't use the main display without Levi, so you'll have to type them into your chat interface and send it to me, Calliope, and Drew. Then I'll have my other body speak it aloud to Levi, since he can't hear you from in here."

Moose's ears perked up.

Moose: TAYLOR HAS OTHER BODY?! CAN OTHER BODY ALSO GIVE SCRITCHES? CAN MOOSE GET DOUBLE SCRITCHES? MOOSE LOVES SCRITCHES AND LOVES TAYLOR! TAYLOR SCRITCHES ARE BEST SCRITCHES!

"Hey," Calliope said from behind him, laughter in her voice. "What am I, chopped liver?"

Moose: OOOOOOOOOHHHH! MOM DROPPED SOME CHOPPED LIVER ONCE! CHOPPED LIVER IS YUMMY YUMMY! MOOSE CAN HAZ CHOPPED LIVER NOW, PLEASE?

"Right," Taylor said, ruffling Moose's neck fur. "We're going to focus now. Read us the list of your classes, okay boy?"

Moose whined and gave Taylor a soulful look.

Moose: MOOSE IS JUST OKAY BOY? MOOSE WILL BE BETTER! MOOSE WILL BE GOODEST BOY!

All three humans laughed and petted him, much to Moose's visible delight. His tail thwumped on the floor like someone beating the dust out of a heavy rug.

"You are already the goodest boy," Taylor said. "Now, read us your class choices, okay?"

Moose: OKAY!

Class: Banana Farmer

This Druid-offshoot class has some of the weirder abilities in the game, yet no less effective than your average punchy-punchy type.

• +2 Constitution
• +1 to the Seed Spray spell (bananas only)
• +3 to the Grow Bananas spell
• You may animate any and all banana trees within (Character Level) meters of you. Animated trees will obey your mental commands without regard for distance and will be destroyed after 10 minutes. Animated trees may uproot themselves and travel. Cooldown: 1 hour
• +1 to the Imbue Plant skill (banana trees only)
• +1 to the Plant Awareness spell (bananas and banana trees only)

Moose: MOOSE LIKES BANANAS! MOOSE WANTS TO GROW BANANAS! MOOSE CHOOSES BANANA FARMER!​

​

"No!" Taylor snapped. "Don't you dare! Send us the rest of the options." ​

​

Moose grumbled but complied. ​

​

​

Spell: Seed Spray
Cost: 5 MP
Cooldown: 10 seconds
Range: 5+(Spell Level) meters


This is a class-locked spell available only to certain classes.

You can spit up to (Spell Level) banana seeds from your mouth. They move fast enough to inflict damage.

Spell: Grow Bananas
Cost: 5 MP
Cooldown: 30 seconds
Range: (Spell Level) meters
AOE: 5 meters


This is a class-locked spell available only to certain classes.

Over the course of 30 seconds all banana seeds in the AOE grow to maturity. If the seed is in an inappropriate environment then there is a chance that the spell will not affect it. This chance depends on the spell level.

Skill: Imbue Plant
Cost: Varies
Cooldown: 1 minute
Range: Touch
Duration: Permanent

Grant up to (Spell Level) abilities to a plant you control. Mana cost depends on what abilities you imbue. This skill cannot be trained. This skill increases by 1 level upon descending to a new floor, at which time you will be given an additional randomly-chosen ability.

Ability for this floor: Explosive bananas.

Spell: Plant Awareness
Cost: 1 MP
Range: (Spell Level)x10 meters
Duration: (Spell Level)x10 seconds

You receive sensory data from all plants you control. The types and clarity of the data depend on your spell level.

"That's actually a very good class," Levi said. "Don't dismiss it too quickly. I've seen it before, more often than you might expect, as well as similar things. There are some absolutely ludicrous abilities from Imbue Plant—eat an apple and get flying, burn a kiwi and get incredibly toxic smoke, squeeze a banana and cover an area three by three meters with the slipperiest stuff you've ever seen. One guy could imbue his pineapples with the Dark and Stormy benefit so they could be distilled into a pineapple rum that was a very potent alchemy ingredient and ridiculously valuable to bartenders. It was also delicious. That's just for starters." ​

​

​

Class: Bomb Sniffer Dog

When humans are too scared to go through dangerous territory, who do they call? You!

• +7 Intelligence
• +3 to the Find Traps skill
• +3 to the Disarm Traps skill
• +3 to the Backfire skill
• +3 to the Escape Plan skill

"This is a good choice," Levi said. "It fills a hole in the party's abilities that will need to be covered at some point. It's not urgent, exactly, since you likely won't see too many traps until next floor, but it is important. And sure, this doesn't give Moose extra combat ability, but he's got that covered anyway. Plus, I have a feeling he's going to get some good stuff when he opens his loot boxes." ​

​

​

Skill: Find Traps
There is a chance that you will be alerted to traps within a certain distance of you.

Skill: Disarm Traps
Allows you to render a trap inoperative from a small distance. Distance increases with skill.

Skill: Backfire
You may attempt to pick up and/or disassemble a trap. Chance of success is 100% for traps that you set or that have been disarmed.

Skill: Escape Plan
Increases the chance of noticing secret and/or concealed doors. Provides access to the Dungeon Locator.

"Oooh," Levi said. "That's a good one. I couldn't have told you about this while I was a guide, but as a manager I can. ​

​

"You know how at a museum you'll see signs on the walls that say 'Egyptian Room this way' and 'Neolithic Room that way'? The Dungeon Locator is like that. It's invisible to normal crawlers and it gives you very general but useful information about your local area. Stuff that you couldn't get any other way. Where secret areas are, what kind of mobs are nearby, that sort of thing. Very handy." ​

​

​

Class: Boring Ol' Fighter

Ungh. Thog bite annoying man in half with Thog teeth. Magic? What is magic? Thog kill stuff. Not need fancy magic.

Requirements: This rare and exclusive class is only open to crawlers who, before reaching the third floor, have:

• Obtained a skill of at least 5 with a physical weapon
• Killed 200 mobs with attacks from that weapon
• Not killed a mob using a spell

Stat requirements: After assigning stat points but before class bonuses, you must have base stats of:

• 20 Constitution
• 15 Strength

Benefits include:

• +15 Strength
• +15 Constitution
• +15 Dexterity
• You gain 1 additional attribute point per level, not retroactive. This point can only be assigned to Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution
• +5 to the Acrobatics skill
• +5 to the Dodge skill
• Dodge can be trained to level 20
• +2 to the Powerful Strike skill
• +2 to the Murderous Attack skill
• Powerful Strike can be trained to level 20
• Murderous Attack can be trained to level 20
• A Gold-tier piece of armor for a slot you do not currently have occupied
• +5 to the Regeneration skill
• The Regeneration skill can be trained. Training consists of healing non-consensual wounds
• Regeneration can be trained to level 20
• Access to either Club Vanquisher or the Desperado Club, your choice
• Disadvantage: You cannot cast spells or activate item-based spell abilities

Skill: Powerful Strike
Your damage is multipled by (Skill Level) when you are not wielding a weapon. Which, let's face it, you're not going to be on account of no thumbs.

Skill: Murderous Attack
Damage from your physical attacks is multiplied by the level of Murderous Attack.

Class: Bounty Hunter the Dog

This class is only open to crawlers who:

• Have an Intelligence of at least 15
• Have met at least two crawlers who have skulls and have inflicted harm, physical or emotional, on them, or been partied with someone who did
• Are dogs

Humans are wonderful and deserving of love and slobbery kisses and protection...mostly. Then there are the Bad Humans. The ones who do bad things. Who threaten your humans. Those humans deserve to be stopped! Maybe even bitten! Wait, no. No maybe about it—they deserve to be chomped and chomped and chomped until they stop moving. And then maybe piddled on.

• +5 Strength
• +1 to the Plus One skill
• +4 to the Pathfinder skill
• +3 to the Bad Guy Hunter skill
• +3 to the Wanted, Dead skill
• The Angelic Approval benefit
• A Desperado Club pass
• Limited access to Club Vanquisher
• The Bounty Hunter License benefit
• Canine-type mobs will lose their automatic hostility to you

Skill: Plus One
You may bring up to (Skill Level) party members with you into areas that they would otherwise not be welcome. You may accompany party members into areas where you would not otherwise be welcome.

Skill: Pathfinder
Your minimap covers a much larger area. This skill is trained by keeping your map open to maximum size.

Skill: Bad Guy Hunter
This skill will allow you to locate all Bad Guy crawlers within a very large range. Crawlers are Bad Guys if they have skulls, if they have stolen from another crawler, or if they have a rogue-related class.

Skill: Wanted, Dead
Every Club Vanquisher has a bounty booth where you can pick up quests to find and retrieve 'undesirables', as they call them. All crawlers with skulls have bounties on them. Bounties may also be available on other crawlers and NPCs.

If you fulfill one of these bounties then you will receive a payment of (your Character Level) x (their Character Level) x (Skill Level) gold. You fulfill a bounty by bringing the target's head to any Club Vanquisher location.

Benefit: Angelic Approval
If you kill a crawler who has skulls, you will not receive a skull. Instead, you will receive a number of angel-wing badges equal to the number of skulls they had. So long as you have at least 1 badge you gain the following benefits:

• +N to all your stats, where N is the number of badges you currently have
• Mobs and NPCs with the Holy subtype will lose their automatic hostility and start off positively inclined towards you
• You are welcome in the common areas of Club Vanquisher. This applies regardless of whether or not you have an active Desperado Club pass
• You may spend a badge in order to heal a being to full health and provide bonus health equal to their maximum health. May not be used on beings who currently have bonus health. Target must be within 10 meters of you. You are a valid target
• You may spend all of your badges (minimum 5) to resurrect a crawler who died in the last 10 seconds. They will return to life at 5% health with all buffs, debuffs, and status conditions removed. They must be within (your Character Level) meters of you and you must have line of sight
• You will not die if your health zeroes out. Instead, one of your badges will be removed and you will be left at 5% health. This effect will only activate in combat.

Benefit: Bounty Hunter License
You will not be censured for killing a crawler in the Desperado Club or Club Vanquisher so long as the crawler had skulls.

Class: Seeing Eye Dog

All humans are noseblind and mostly earblind. Some of them are also blind-blind. No matter what the issue, you're here to help!

• +3 Intelligence
• +4 Charisma
• +3 to the Pathfinder skill
• +3 to the Acute Ears skill
• +3 to the Danger Sense skill
• +3 to the Sniff Out Crawler skill
• +1 to the Spot skill

Skill: Pathfinder
Your minimap covers a much larger area. This skill is trained by keeping your map open to maximum size.

Skill: Acute Ears
Your map shows mobs more quickly than usual. Your map shows more information about mobs.

Skill: Danger Sense
There is a chance based on skill level that you will be alerted to dangerous situations such as traps, ambushers, beings who are about to attack you, etc.

Skill: Sniff Out Crawler
This skill is similar to the Find Crawler skill in that it allows you to locate other crawlers, but it provides greater range and precision. At low levels you need to have smelled the crawler before.

Skill: Spot
You are more likely to detect things that are hidden or hard to notice—tracks, stealthed enemies, secret dors, camoflaged treasure chests, and so on. You are more able to interpret what you see. At higher levels this acquires elements of retrocognition.

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Voting time! What do you do next? Voting ends Friday, Sep 29, 2022 at 6:30 PM or when there have been no votes for 24 hours.

New Achievement! Discordian Delight
You are invited to drop by the #dungeon-crawler-you channel in the Quests and Stuff Discord. (That second link is an invite to the server.)