It was also bothering me, but mentally replacing every "I" with "You" for a first few paragraphs helped me to get into it. Try it, maybe it'll help?
The Path Unending (A Cultivation Quest)
- Thread starter Vesvius
- Start date
- Original
-
- Tags
- original xianxia cultivation quest
Cteatus
A Guy Who Fell Down a Hole
We can round out Chui's education later. We should start him off learning to enjoy learning and then connect skills from other areas to his preferred projects.
[x] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
[x] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
- Location
- United States
[X] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
- Location
- A place
[X] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
Its this or armor and to be perfectly honest armor his probably something we need less creativity on and more hours of studying in the library.
On the other hand how many dagger axes are there?
Its this or armor and to be perfectly honest armor his probably something we need less creativity on and more hours of studying in the library.
On the other hand how many dagger axes are there?
[X] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
- Pronouns
- he/him
[x] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
Chui Dao is adorable and deserves treats
Chui Dao is adorable and deserves treats
The chase for the waifu and muscles continues as the Wicked God returns!
1st Person's fine, but a few years ago I would have actively avoided them as a third person purist. 🤷♂️
As for our hammerson, the time has come!
[Jk] Take him to the smiths crafting inrticate cube-like mace heads. Something about the shape appeals to Chui Dao for some reason.
[X] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
Looking forward to when Chui's making his first charm! It'll totally be something like a boomerang brick: unaesthetically, unaerodynamic, but surprisingly effective.
1st Person's fine, but a few years ago I would have actively avoided them as a third person purist. 🤷♂️
As for our hammerson, the time has come!
[Jk] Take him to the smiths crafting inrticate cube-like mace heads. Something about the shape appeals to Chui Dao for some reason.
[X] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
Looking forward to when Chui's making his first charm! It'll totally be something like a boomerang brick: unaesthetically, unaerodynamic, but surprisingly effective.
The transition has seriously throwed me off, too. It feels like the story flows much more smoothly in second person, which is why I mentally replaced every you with I in my mind. It worked surprisingly well, but I'm sure I'll get used to it in time.
Aside from that, we're currently indulging a child here. While stoking the flames of passion early is important, a solid foundation is important in all things.
[x] The armorer who is putting the finishing touches on a gleaming helmet. It may not be the most fascinating thing for Chui Dao, but the Kukuni needs a well-rounded education.
Aside from that, we're currently indulging a child here. While stoking the flames of passion early is important, a solid foundation is important in all things.
[x] The armorer who is putting the finishing touches on a gleaming helmet. It may not be the most fascinating thing for Chui Dao, but the Kukuni needs a well-rounded education.
CedeTheBees
Probably high right now
- Location
- Somewhere
- Pronouns
- They/Them
It's been long enough since the last update that I don't notice any difference. Hopefully won't be too jarring on my next reread tho.
[X] The armorer who is putting the finishing touches on a gleaming helmet. It may not be the most fascinating thing for Chui Dao, but the Kukuni needs a well-rounded education.
Armour may not be as flashy but it's just as, if not more, important in War. He needs this info to be the best War/Steel kukuni he can be
[X] The armorer who is putting the finishing touches on a gleaming helmet. It may not be the most fascinating thing for Chui Dao, but the Kukuni needs a well-rounded education.
Armour may not be as flashy but it's just as, if not more, important in War. He needs this info to be the best War/Steel kukuni he can be
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WhoTheHeckity
But no one ever asks HowTheHeckity
- Location
- Murica 🦅
[x] The armorer who is putting the finishing touches on a gleaming helmet. It may not be the most fascinating thing for Chui Dao, but the Kukuni needs a well-rounded education.
To be honest, first person POV is probably my least favorite POV and I had gotten used to the second person POV for Path. It made it a more unique experience, as not many stories use that POV.
That being said, first person POV has advantages of its own, some that I already noticed in this update, so with a bit of time to acclimate it shouldn't be a problem.
Anyway, enough about that.
Zhi's musings on the nature of Kukuni is reflective of his biases, certainly, but there is certainly some truth to his limited information about them.
Kukuni might not be quite immutable the way they are perceived, but they might be slow and difficult to change, enough so that they get a reputation for it.
Perhaps that is the benefit to bonding that the Kukuni get. They change and grow faster and more easily, or become more versatile than they otherwise would be.
Chui would be especially suspecible to that, being a newborn spirit.
That being said, first person POV has advantages of its own, some that I already noticed in this update, so with a bit of time to acclimate it shouldn't be a problem.
Anyway, enough about that.
Zhi's musings on the nature of Kukuni is reflective of his biases, certainly, but there is certainly some truth to his limited information about them.
Kukuni might not be quite immutable the way they are perceived, but they might be slow and difficult to change, enough so that they get a reputation for it.
Perhaps that is the benefit to bonding that the Kukuni get. They change and grow faster and more easily, or become more versatile than they otherwise would be.
Chui would be especially suspecible to that, being a newborn spirit.
- Location
- Central Europe
Up until now CD's crafting bonus represented his Steel aspect. I suspect this vote lets us change/enhance that. That could potentially look something like this?
[weaponsmith]: Add/Narrow CD bonus to his self chosen specialty, at the intersection of War and Steel
[armorer]: Keep/enhance his crafting bonus to everything considered Steel/Metal
[jeweler]: Add/Broaden bonus rolls to all offensive charms crafts?
Maybe, I'm completely off the mark. For now I will go with his personal preference.
[x] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
While I really liked the the old perspective, it gave this quest a very unique feel. I understand the reasons for the switch and barely noticed it by the end of the update.
[weaponsmith]: Add/Narrow CD bonus to his self chosen specialty, at the intersection of War and Steel
[armorer]: Keep/enhance his crafting bonus to everything considered Steel/Metal
[jeweler]: Add/Broaden bonus rolls to all offensive charms crafts?
Maybe, I'm completely off the mark. For now I will go with his personal preference.
[x] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.
Non-native speaker here, but that feels like an artifact from the 2nd person POV.
While I really liked the the old perspective, it gave this quest a very unique feel. I understand the reasons for the switch and barely noticed it by the end of the update.
- Location
- scrabbling
the writing is actively worsened by 1st person as is. it's become more wooden and several stylistic artifacts from second person impede it. writing in 1st is more drastically different from 2nd than 2nd is from 3rd because of the greater variation in the type of information required. the structural form of 'I do this' makes little sense in an internal monologue, while being required by 2nd or 3rd person writing, for example, and this update is filled with that. the speech tags also suffer from too much variation, while other sentences suffer from the opposite. I grunt, I mutter, I pause, I contemplate, on and on
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- Location
- Earth
[X] The armorer who is putting the finishing touches on a gleaming helmet. It may not be the most fascinating thing for Chui Dao, but the Kukuni needs a well-rounded education.
- Location
- Spain
- Pronouns
- He/Him
[X] The weaponsmith currently laboring over a dagger-axe. It's an older style weapon, which means that there's plenty for Chui Dao to be curious about.