Yeah, I think that the main theme of the 19th century IOTL: Masses.
Mass movements (including the "national project"), mass politics (and hence, democracy and nation states instead of dynastically defined states), mass production (industrialization), mass armies (leading to army numbers in WW1 unthinkable in the Napoleonic Wars, whose numbers were already unthinkable in the mid-18th century), etc. In the 19th century, everything became geared towards the masses. That is why I think the development of democracy and nationalism, at least, are inseparable sides of the same coin - you can separate democracy and nationalism later on, of course, as sort of happened IOTL, but their rise comes from the same source: A focus away from the aristocracy, towards the masses of the population. Which, of course, is also tied to the huge conscript armies that formed in that time, just as the rise of Athenian democracy was tied to the masses of sailor the new thassalocracy needed: Who holds the power has always been at least weakly linked to who holds the weapons. Really, it's all about that new focus on the masses of the population.
So that whole complex is all one tangle of interconnected issues following more or less the same path of development. So, the question is, can we take industrialization out of that tangle? And I think that yes, you can, at least initially. As has been noted, various Chinese golden ages (most notably Song, but also already Tang before) did have mass production, did have a sort of industrialization, just not mechanization. And mechanization is "just" the development and adaptation of new technologies; the "mass" part is indeed already in "mass production". And yet the Tang and Song managed that without any notable shift of power to the urban masses, with especially Song being noted for the power of the Neo-Confucian scholar-gentry.
However, I don't think that is sustainable in the long run. If you have mass production, you will eventually get mass armies, mass movements and mass action. IOTL, "mass politics", i.e. nationalism and democracy, predated industrialization "in earnest". It is possible to instead have them postdate industrialization, which means that no, they are at least not a requirement, but they will probably eventually appear.